I’m challenging all the martial arts school owners

[sifu Adams]

Over the past few days I have read the post of 7-year-old Ciara who died after her family was involved in a car accident. According to her mother and family she loved the Martial arts and was about to test for her blue belt. Her mother has also stated she don’t know if she can return to the arts because it reminds her of her daughter. Everyone on MT has encouraged her to continue her train in the arts. I went one step farther and done something I have never done before. I told her mother that I would issue a Black belt certificate to Ciara from my school. I only made one demand and that is that she continue in the arts so that one day she could put her Black belt certificate beside Ciara. Now comes the challenge. I challenge all the school owners to issue Ciara a black belt certificate from your school to show her mother she has the support of the marital arts community and to show the would that Martial artist do have a heart. I you are willing to meet the challenge. Then e-mail me and I will give you all the information as soon as I can. For the ones who are unsure of this I have requested a Photo and the newspaper article on her funeral. I will also send you a copyof them. My heart is with them is yours?

 

[MA-Caver]

:asian: sifu Adams

I am not an instructor but I bow to you for your generous offer and worthy challenge. Wish I could meet it.

:asian:

 

[Tripitaka of AA]

Post the story. Post your intention.

It is not appropriate to issue a challenge to others. Other people will have different interpretations of an appropriate way to show condolences.

Having a personal tragedy hijacked into a Media Event would not necessarily be appreciated by bereaved parents. Becoming a cause celebre for Martial Artists wishing to show compassion, is something to be decided upon by the parents... and no-one else.

Find a way to show sympathy that DOESN'T involve publicity.

 

[MA-Caver]

I think that was sifu Adams' intent here... but you're correct that the newspaper or media story should be included and the consent of the parents be present (in this forum) as well.
Still a noble gesture on his part.

 

[Adept]

At the risk of sounding uncaring, I dont feel offering a black belt is a suitable offer. A black belt, to me, is a recognition of a certain standard. It is not something that I feel should ever be handed out on an honourary basis. Free membership for the mother might be a better offer, or perhaps naming a perpetual trophy after Ciara.

 

[chinto01]

Sifu Adams I admire you for taking on such a task. However the offering of a black belt certificate to this girl in order to keep the mother going seems to be a little much. What if the mother cannot keep training and never gets her black belt? This would be another emotional set back for her don't you think? No I believe we should offer her our support on the site and keep encourging her to train not by a bribe for her daughters black belt certificate but do it for her self. Sorry if this seems so shallow and cold but just my thoughts. Sorry.

 

[terryl965]

Sifu Adams I have always enjoyed your threads and comments,but the request is strange for me. Giving all the decussion on what a Black belt really means and what it stands for, me personally believe a belt is only as good as the instructor wearing it. When I loss my first born I believed in the Lord and that was my comfort. I found myself trying to stay away from things that he loved for the pain was to hard to bare at that time. Have you thought about her pain when she walks into the Dojang or training hall the pain might be hard for her. Please ask if the possibilities is there for her to train right now. If so ask how she would feel about joining a forum for moral support to help her through this very painful time. My prayers and best wishes goes out to her and her family. If I or anyone on this forum can truely help we will, and if a blackbelt from my Dojang will help ease her pain so be it. God Bless this family in ther time of grief.
Terry Lee Stoker
Twin Dragons MAS

 

[The Kai]

I feel for thier tragedy, I will do all I can to help. That being said I connot issue a Black belt Certificate. If she decides to continue her training, it is a choice that must come from inside herself.. Giving someone a award they did'nt earn? Here is my thoughts, I think that the mother is from the madison Area? I am right over here in Milw-if you need anything let me know


Once again I am sorry for her loss, I hope I can help out.
Todd

 

[TigerWoman]

As a mother myself, if I lost a daughter or a son, it would be extremely difficult to face going to a dojang and reliving all those moments. Even though its been a while, that's something that is going to stay with you, your entire life. Its a nice gesture but probably unnecessary and not appropriate. The little girl earned her blue belt and that meant more. TW

 

[KenpoTess]

A loss of a child .... No words, nothing can ease the pain..a heartfelt gesture of compassion is the grace in such a time.
A time that will envelope the family for a lifetime. A certificate is going to do Nothing to bring the child back, nothing to ease the mother's pain. A memorial in the child's honor and a gentle 'we're here for you', would be much more acceptable.

~Tess

 

[GAB]

A loss of a child .... No words, nothing can ease the pain..a heartfelt gesture of compassion is the grace in such a time.
A time that will envelope the family for a lifetime. A certificate is going to do Nothing to bring the child back, nothing to ease the mother's pain. A memorial in the child's honor and a gentle 'we're here for you', would be much more acceptable.

~Tess

Hi all,

Being male and not female I will still agree with Tess regarding the tragedy and the way to handle it.

The loss of a son or daughter to the mother is beyond understanding. Comfort and being there in time of need is the main thing.

Believe me when I say this for I live each day with that very same occurence,
it never leaves the person, only comfort and kindness is appreciated.

I am sure you mean well Sifu, but don't make demands of the mother at a time like this.

Regards, Gary

 

[Feisty Mouse]

sifu Adams ~

I am in agreement with several of the people who have posted here already. Your heart, as they say, is in the right place. I know you want to do something to console the family, to keep the interest in MA alive in Ciara's mother.

I would think a memorial certificate/award for young students and exceptional training would be more appropriate, than a posthumous blackbelt.

Give her mother as much time as she needs - and let her know she is always welcome back. She may never be able to come back, but your kindness and thoughtfulness will be with her, and that is the most imporant thing.

:asian:

 

[archmagician]

I really like Adepts idea!!!

Naming a trophy after her is a time honored way to memorialize someone.

 

[shesulsa]

Sifu Adams, your heart is big and generous and God bless you. I must take into account the feelings of the family as well. Although I know you are doing the same, it is hard to imagine what one might think of a well-intended gesture.

Might I make another suggestion?

Perhaps if the mother is ever able to set foot in the studio again, and earns her black belt, perhaps something her instructor could do would be, upon her promotion, to hand her two belts - one for her and one for her daughter. In my mind, if she can ever return to training, she's earned her daughter's black belt for her by stepping foot back on the mat on the day of her test.

Thank you, Sifu, for putting forth a thought-provoking challenge and for caring so much.

:asian: GK

 

[Feisty Mouse]

I like she-sulsa's idea, too.