Making Time for the Family as a Martial Artist

[puunui]

My work days average about 14 or 15 hours, including commute. That pretty much means, on work days, that's all I do. Maybe cook dinner... So, on my days off, I make it a point to try to give my wife a break from our almost-3 year old. I try to give her time to do things that she wants to... Yeah, that means some of my own training has suffered. I take my son with to the gym most days (they have a child care service), for example. I can't take him with me to class (yet). And balance seminars and other events... I don't always get to do what I'd like.

If your work days average 14-15 hours per day, when do you train in the martial arts? Are you on some sort of three day per week work schedule?

 

[Black Belt Jedi]

The sad thing is some of my peers quit training because their wife or girlfriend complains about being lonely so often and the lack of quality time being spent with them. Like come on lol. I knew one teenager that got his black belt (16 years old) and after that, he quit completley because he's too busy with girls.

 

[clfsean]

Tried that... failed miserably. Went back to training & gave up the wife (her idea anyway).

But now I train her kids. Then again I wouldn't trust them to be trained with anybody else except for my teacher.

 

[Balrog]

In terms of time, your schedule is not that much different from mine. However, I have an advantage. SWMBO is in the school with me. She and I share the teaching load.

Could you get your wife and family out on the floor? I remember hearing something a long time ago about the family that kicks together, sticks together.

 

[Thesemindz]

Dude, it's not my place to tell you how to live your life. But karate's not going anywhere. It'll always be there waiting for you to come back to class. If your pregnant wife is telling you she needs you at home more, whether it's founded or not, she's expressing an unfulfilled need to you, her husband.

I do karate all the time. And I get this from my wife. And I respect and love my wife, so I put down karate from time to time to pay attention to her. Because she's a lot more important than karate, and karate is my favorite thing in the world. There will always be time to go to class. You won't always have a pregnant wife at home alone with a child telling you she needs more help, time, and attention.

Good luck with both.


-Rob

 

[Jenna]

The post was prompted by one simple statement my wife said during our last phone conversation today: "I do wish you were home more". Let me know how you balance your desire to train and your desire to be there for your family.

Terizius, I do not want to appear curt and but should you not be formulating a compromise with your wife directly rather than trying to figure it out here? While you may get validation here on a martial arts forum for your MA preferences, I would not wish you to be complacent regarding your relationship with your wife. You may have needs regarding your training and potential future career. I guess your wife has needs too. It is a partnership, no? Please figure out a plan that will enable you both to gain sufficient happiness. I wish you well, Jenna.

 

[Josh Oakley]

My best advice: if you are seriously thinking about making a business in martial arts, then it is important to understand that is a journey you take with your wife. Not SHOULD, but DO. And there will be strife if you take her on this journey against her will. Because, from personal experience, once you are fully engaged in a martial arts career, you will see your wife and kids LESS, not more. If you have her full buy in and support, it will be an awesome experience. If not, it will be... Difficult.

Communication is key. Talk out the specifics with her, what that entails, what you expect, what she expects, what is reasonable and what is not. And make sure the time you DO get with your wife and kids is HIGH QUALITY time.

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk

 

[geezer]

Hmmm. I ended up leaving the martial arts for about 16 years changing careers and helping to raise the kids. I've been back at the MAs a little over four years. I'm older and slower to learn, slower to heal, and just a whole lot slower in general. Once I was determined to make "master" level. Now I'll be lucky to ever make my next rank. Still, the sacrifice was worth it.

Now, please tell me, what is a "100,000 technique challenge"?