Let me know If I did the right thing as a MA.

[Satelite]

I had a situation yesterday,
I am wondering what would you have done.
I live in USA. So I just parked my car on one way street.
Right on the opposite side a guy double parked a wan.
So now it's difficult to pass.
He just left.
As I was about to exit, another wan had to get through. He could have, but was afrait to touch a car, so he started to beep.
The guy runs out and starts cursing at me to move my car. Keep in mind that I am legally parked. I would have moved, but I did not appreciate that attitude.
So I told him that if he doesn't leave me alone I will take his licence plate and call the cops. With that attitude I was not about to move from the spot it took me 15-20 minutes to find. He saw a MA sticker on my car and started telling me that he will kick my *** with all my "karate-crap".
Than he told me to come out and face him like a man. The funny thing was: I just left the dojo and I was warmed up. To knock him down would not have been a problem.

I decided to move the car instead.

-Did I do the right thing?
Should I have move right away?
Should I have knocked him?
Should I have stayed in one place and not came out of the car?

 

[dubljay]

You did the right thing. It isn't worth the trouble of getting into a fight over traffic. In California they now have specific charges for 'road rage'. However his statement "I can kick your *** with all your karate crap" is a threat, I would have called the police with his liscene plate number and told them that he had made threats against you.

You handled the situation well.

-Josh

 

[Lisa]

You did the right thing. Uttering threats is one thing, taking the first swing is another.

Pat yourself on the back for being the bigger person and not falling into a bad situation because of someone elses stupidity.

 

[MJS]

I had a situation yesterday,
I am wondering what would you have done.
I live in USA. So I just parked my car on one way street.
Right on the opposite side a guy double parked a wan.
So now it's difficult to pass.
He just left.
As I was about to exit, another wan had to get through. He could have, but was afrait to touch a car, so he started to beep.
The guy runs out and starts cursing at me to move my car. Keep in mind that I am legally parked. I would have moved, but I did not appreciate that attitude.
So I told him that if he doesn't leave me alone I will take his licence plate and call the cops. With that attitude I was not about to move from the spot it took me 15-20 minutes to find. He saw a MA sticker on my car and started telling me that he will kick my *** with all my "karate-crap".
Than he told me to come out and face him like a man. The funny thing was: I just left the dojo and I was warmed up. To knock him down would not have been a problem.

I decided to move the car instead.

-Did I do the right thing?

Yes. As tempting as it may have been to retaliate, why bring on extra headaches to yourself.

Should I have move right away?

Well, I don't think that you should have delayed the process.

Should I have knocked him?

Depends on if you want the headaches that I talked about above. There have been many times when I wanted to knock someone, but my calmer side prevailed.

Should I have stayed in one place and not came out of the car?

I think you did the right thing by moving the car. Why create a further back up by not moving. Now the guy behind you, as well as people who may be pulling up behind him, are going to get aggitated.

All in all, you handled things good. The guy obviously is a jerk. His 'tough attitude' should be a sign of what kind of person he is. You mentioned calling the cops. Sure, you could have done that and reported the double parked car.

Mike

 

[chinto01]

I also agree you did the right thing. It would have probably been easier to physically confronted this man but you took the high road. Good Form!!!!

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[kenpochad]

ya

i now its hard thinking back saying i should of laid that guy out

 

[Matt Stone]

The thing that gets me is the whole "did I do the right thing as a martial artist."

How about "did I do the right thing as a responsible adult, a worthwhile and contributing citizen that obeys the rule of law?" We could start there instead...

There seem to be quite a few people who believe that being a martial artist necessarily carries with it a moral and ethical responsibility that somehow outweighs or overrides that of any other person. Everyone should believe that as a human being living in a society composed of other human beings there are acceptable behaviors that should be demonstrated by all within that society. Granted, there are a number who do not. Fine. But simply by virtue of studying an archaic mode of physical combat you do not carry a greater onus to be a responsible, law-abiding citizen. Maybe you are more aware of your responsibilities, but you are no more bound to them than anyone else...

It'd be nice if the fantasy world where martial artists were standard bearers for upright, honest, honorable behavior existed. It'd be nice if we could all live the myth of the martial student apprenticed to the wise master. It'd be nice to exist in the fairy tale land where honor, reputation, and fighting prowess would be enough to settle a dispute. The fact is, however, that world doesn't exist.

Work to make your corner of the world better, but be a citizen first, a martial artist second. "Martial artist" isn't all you are; it is only a facet of the larger "you." Be that larger "you" first, and set the example that way...

Pax.

 

[RichK]

Take the "what if" approach. Think of all the what if's and imagine how you would have felt at a later time (sitting in a jail cell)(spending hours with the police explaining why you think you were justified)(worrying about a civil lawsuit)(spending money for a lawyer)(spending money at the dr's or dentist's if he made a lucky contact and broke a tooth out)(trying to convince a judge and jury that you were in the right (most times you can be made out as an expert MA by the opposing lawyer even by taking one MA class)) You did the right thing.

 

[RichK]

Matt, nicely said.

 

[Lisa]

Matt, nicely said.

Agreed, very well put.

 

[Mark Barlow]

A few months ago I was standing in line at the cashier of a local buffet. When it was my turn to pay I reached to get my wallet and my elbow popped a young girl standing behind me in the nose. She feel down holding her nose crying and her father came at me swinging. I deflected his punches and pinned him against the wall, apologizing the entire time. As this wasn't working, I offered to pay for their lunch. His wife starts yelling at him to calm down and let me pay. After a few more moments, I let him go, half expecting him to come at me again. As I'm paying for the couple and their kid, the wife points to another family in line behind them and says, "They're with us." I said I wasn't paying for them unless I got to punch their kid in the nose too. They didn't think this was funny but let it pass.

A friend who was with me at the time lectured me about not letting myself be pushed around and I had rewarded the father for bad behavior. Maybe he was right but I still think it was a case of picking my battles. While it was not intentional on my part, I did feel guilty for popping the girl in the nose and I didn't see much honor in beating up her father for coming to her defense.

I consider buying their lunch a small price to pay for avoiding a fight that no one would ultimately win. If 30 years of training has taught me anything it's sometimes you win a fight by walking away from it.

 

[Matt Stone]

What people involved in martial arts fail to realize sometimes is that what we do is very "niche." We aren't, by any stretch of the imagination, "mainstream" in what we do. So for us to believe that a) we have a moral, ethical obligation to the rest of society because we train and learn how to engage in physical combat is ridiculous. What we do doesn't necessarily mean we are any better than anyone else. There are simply too many "dungeons and dragons" wannabes out there, living in a fantasy world where "warriors" walk the earth protecting the innocent...

This ain't Highlander, folks, it's real life.

I'll admit, I'd love for the fantasy of martial arts to be real. How wonderful would it be for onlookers viewing us in our martial glory walking down Main Street armed with the weapons of our art, donning our martial garb as daily wear? How wonderful would it be to be respected for our dedication to ideals, principles, and beliefs that are long out of fashion? How wonderful would it be to be a priviliged class, charged with the welfare and defense of our non-martial comrades?

Unfortunately, only the Jedi have those distinctions, and we can see where it got them... (for us geeks, that'd be "hunted into extinction by those who disagreed with their goals")

My point is, Satelite did the right thing, but with the wrong spin on things...

Whatever.

Pax.

 

[Kamaria Annina]

You definitely did the right thing. It's better to do what you did, instead of doing something you might regret later. If the man was having a fit, let him, let him play the fool.

 

[kenpo0324]

You did the right thing...

 

[Grenadier]

You did a wise thing. Not just as a martial artist, but rather, as a prudent human being would as well.

It wasn't your fault in any way, shape, or form. You were lawfully parked, and not under any obligation to to move, unless someone from the public sector (law enforcement, fireman, etc) tells you to do so during the course of performing their duties.

Also, you did the right thing by simply walking away from the situation. This way, nobody got hurt, and while it inconvenienced you, at least no trouble came from it afterwards, since he did not pursue. In the end, you didn't get into a battle, and nobody got hurt. While you would probably have destroyed him in a fight, would it really be worth it? Is he the type that would then try to gather his buddies and come after you, your family, and friends? Is it worth wasting time in court (even though you would most likely win)?

Now, had he tried to follow you and continue threatening you, then you would have darn well justified in teaching him a lesson that didn't come from a schoolbook. In that case, you'd better perform to the best of your abilities. It's better to have to be dealing with the judgement of twelve, than to be carried by a sorrowful six.

If I were in your shoes, I would simply have taken down his license plate number, and left my car there, while walking away. Not quite as pacifistic, but the objective is the same; to simply leave the area without getting into a brouhaha.

 

[BaiKaiGuy]

Matt's pretty much got it right in my book.


As an attorney who does criminal law, I expect people, and yes, that includes martial artists, to follow the law. We shouldn't go around patting ourselves on the backs because some yahoo yelled at us to move our car and we're proud we didn't beat the snot out of him. We aren't samurai, we have no code of honour that demands we walk away, we actually have real live laws on the books which tell us we cannot engage in that type of behaviour. You may think it's "honourable", but the reality is that letting lose on the screaming idiot would have landed you in jail, MAer or not.

 

[MA-Caver]

For what my two cents are worth.... You did the right thing as a MA! :asian:

You're right BaiKaiGuy that we are not samurai nor do we have any codes of honor... except our personal own. The more MA that I learned over the years the more I realized how dangerous I had become. As MA-ists we are learning more about hurting people than the average joe out there. We learn in our respective arts ways to take a person down and in some cases inflict the maxium amount of damage possible. It is important that we all also learn restraint and knowing when it's necessary to use whatever techniques that are (err) necessary.
The more we know the more restrained we must be and the higher our standards of honor.

 

[BaiKaiGuy]

Where are you people getting this romanticized notion that we're all a bunch of barely-controlled, raged-filled killing machines because we study MA?!? Most of you are not dangerous, cannot kill someone with a single touch, and are so full of fantasy you'd probably bet your *** kicked because you're so arrogant!

Allow me to repeat my last post:

MAer or not, WE HAVE LAWS.

Yes, it's very quaint that you believe you shouldn't beat the snot out of someone because your own "personal code of conduct" says "I'm such a badass, I don't want to hurt the guy".

You're not getting a medal for behaving according to the rule of law! Society says "it's wrong to beat someone up for yelling at you". You don't. Millions of people who aren't MAers go about their daily lives without beating people up for pissing them off. This is hardly a new theory in Western Civilization. Why do we think we're special?

 

[MA-Caver]

Where are you people getting this romanticized notion that we're all a bunch of barely-controlled, raged-filled killing machines because we study MA?!? Most of you are not dangerous, cannot kill someone with a single touch, and are so full of fantasy you'd probably bet your *** kicked because you're so arrogant!

Allow me to repeat my last post:

MAer or not, WE HAVE LAWS.

Yes, it's very quaint that you believe you shouldn't beat the snot out of someone because your own "personal code of conduct" says "I'm such a badass, I don't want to hurt the guy".

You're not getting a medal for behaving according to the rule of law! Society says "it's wrong to beat someone up for yelling at you". You don't. Millions of people who aren't MAers go about their daily lives without beating people up for pissing them off. This is hardly a new theory in Western Civilization. Why do we think we're special?

Sigh, I never said I was this barely controlled killing machine. Never said any of us are. But we do have techniques that can seriously hurt people. No there's no fantasy "one touch kills" or Matrix type hovering over people or any of that nonsense.
Knowing the laws where we live and knowing our rights to self-defense when confronted by an antagonistic individual we make choices according to those laws and our own values and sense of honor.
If someone is yelling at me then let him rant and rave all he wants to vent whatever frustrations or feelings of inadequacy that he's feeling. That's fine and very theraputic. Just don't make a threatening move towards me (or a loved one). I grew up with that and have grown tired of it and will not take anymore of it and will defend myself accordingly and will strive to excercise as much control over myself as I can in doing so. Rage will not have anything to do with it. If I'm that pissed off ... I'll walk away, because I'm not going to jail for nobody!
:asian:

 

[Satelite]

You know, I have to agree with you on something.

We do have laws. And to be honest, I think that not laws are fair. No personal offence to you as a law person.
Basically law allow people to yell at other people.
Just wondering, if someone, lets say- cursed out your mom or your wife, but did not hurt her, would you smile and like a rightfull sitizen walk away?

No offence intended, just trying to put things in perspective.