Tgace
Grandmaster
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- Jul 31, 2003
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As kind of a tangent to the "successorship" threads around this board...I started thinking about some of the root causes (as I see them) of in-fighting over titles, rank etc. I think that to get past this stuff, people have to start exhibiting some sort of leadership. What is martial arts leadership? I found a good article (listed below) that touches on some interesting points. Let me say up front that I am not saying that anybody in particular here/there or anywhere is a "target" that this stuff is directed at. Just an attempt at some constructive dialouge in a topic that many here are interested in.
http://www.chitoryu.com/leadership.htm
Leadership
Leaders are like Eagles, "Eagles don't flock-you have to find them one at a time."-H. Ross Perot
In Theory the difference between Martial Arts Leadership and Military Leadership is that in Theory, there is no difference!
Having read the above statement, one will quickly agree (especially if you have served in the military) that there are numerous differences in the two types of leadership while at the same time, there are numerous similarities between the two. In the military, basically speaking, one must remain in the armed services until they are released from service. In the martial arts however, one can leave whenever one decides to go, even without so much as a phone call to their teacher. In the military one has little recourse if they are physically and/or mentally abused by their superiors and even if they complain, normally, they are simply moved to another unit. Seldom is anyone totally released from serving. In the martial arts one can totally stop training whenever they feel that they have been treated bad and they never have to even give a reason unless they want to. Now having said all of this, I realize that one can just sit down, even in the military and refuse to comply, but when they are finally released from service it may be with a dishonorable discharge which could haunt them the rest of their life. So, the deterrent is certainly their to warrant their wanting to at least put in their time and then get out. There is very little negative effects suffered for anyone who joins a martial arts school, takes everything the teacher has to offer and then leaves when their feelings get hurt or when something shiner comes along.
In the last few years the military has been forced to make numerous concessions in order to obtain and retain soldiers. As a general rule, so has the martial arts community. In many martial arts schools we now see all kinds of aerobic classes, kick boxing classes (and I don't mean real kick boxing classes), and anything else that the public takes a fancy to. Few styles still train the same way that they did in the 1960's, 70's and even the 1980's. Not only have the people changed, but specifically, their reasons for wanting to train in the martial arts have also changed. When the reasons for training change, so must the training itself change. Few people today would return to a class night after night to receive a bloody nose, loose teeth, lumps on the arms and legs or even worse, but many of us did. Why? At the time, we were convinced that this was the way to train. We were convinced that if you didn't bleed a little, have a of broken nose, have a few stitches or loose teeth to boast about then your training was too weak.
Even when a martial arts system takes the necessary steps by making the appropriate changes in order to make the art more appealing to the public, the system may still fail to bring in any large number of students. Why is this? The success of one system over another is, in most instances, not only a direct reflection of the senior instructors' leadership ability, but their potential leadership ability as well. I include both ability and potential ability in this equation because in many instances the senior teacher may possess fantastic martial technical ability, but be totally lacking in their ability to lead a large group of followers. Many leaders find that even with leadership training, they still may be lacking the necessary characteristics to lead.
Developing Followers or Leaders
Many karate organizations have fallen apart after the Senior Instructor's death due to the senior's lack of concern, fear or total inability to develop other leaders. Most senior teachers develop many followers, but few take the time and energy required to develop other leaders. There are many reasons for this and some of them are; (1) Leaders are more difficult to develop than followers and therefore many seniors will never take the extra time and energy required to develop good strong leaders. (2) Leaders are inquisitive by nature and this is often viewed as disrespectful or threatening by the Senior, therefore it is safer and much more comfortable for the senior to simply develop followers. (3) Leaders want to lead and if not allowed to lead, may eventually simply break away and form their own groups in order to exercise their own leadership abilities. (4) Leaders are harder to find and to attract especially if the senior's attitude is only to develop the followers around him. (5) Many Seniors want to gain all of the credit for everything that is done and therefore will never develop the leaders around them for fear of the competition. {This reminds me of a valuable piece of information that I was once given while attending a military leadership course. "No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all of the credit for doing it." by Andrew Carnegie. I also remember another quote I read many, many times while attending Special Forces School at the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The quote was considered so important that it had been printed on a poster and placed beside the front door for every Special Forces Soldier to memorize. The quote said; "Give a man a fish you feed him for a day; Teach him to fish and you will feed him for life." We Teach Men To Fish! United States Army Special Forces. Many Seniors are not interested in teaching men to fish, but instead they would rather have the student forever totally dependant on them. This will always result in a tragic end for the senior's martial art. No one man can ever accomplish what a group of enthusiastic, dedicated, motivated and coordinated leaders can accomplish.
Below I have listed a comparison of Senior Martial Artist who simply develop followers as opposed to those who develop leaders.
It is only when we develop others, that we permanently succeed. -Harvey S. Firestone
(1) Seniors who develop followers need to be needed. Seniors who develop leaders want to be succeeded.
(2) Seniors who develop followers will develop the bottom 20%. Seniors who develop leaders will develop the top 20%.
(3) Seniors who develop followers focus on the weaknesses of their people. Seniors who develop leaders focus on the strengths of their people.
(4) Seniors who develop followers will treat their people the same for fairness. Seniors who develop leaders will treat their leaders as if these leaders will someday carry on the system the senior teaches.
(5) Seniors who develop followers will hoard power. Seniors who develop leaders will give power away.
(6) Seniors who develop followers will spend time with their followers. Seniors who develop leaders will invest time with their leaders.
(7) Seniors who develop followers will grow by addition. Seniors who develop leaders will grow by multiplication.
(8) Seniors who develop followers will impact only the people that they touch personally. Seniors who develop leaders will impact people far beyond their own reach.
Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purpose, not to make a great show in the world, not a name. There is but one just use of power, and it is to serve people. George Bush
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Positive Leadership
Loyalty is a major factor in any martial arts system as well as the training of any martial artist. I once heard a very wise man say, "The reason loyalty is so often spoken of in the martial arts is because there is so damn little of it." In order for the student of develop loyalty toward the teacher, there must be respect. If the student does not respect the teacher then true loyalty can never exist. Genuine loyalty is always developed thru time and is a direct result of respect, therefore, it is virtually impossible for a student to express true loyalty to a teacher that they do not respect. The student may initially admire and/or even fear the teacher, but eventually this admiration and fear must be replaced by genuine respect. True or Genuine Respect is not something that is just freely given, it must be earned, therefore anything that can be earned can be lost. How does a teacher earn the respect of the student? Some teachers think that the student should just blindly give them the respect, that they (the teacher) feels that he or she deserves. Personally, I think it is important to understand that the teacher bear the greater responsibility here, not the student. If the teacher wants respect, they must first earn it. After all the teacher has most likely been training in their discipline for many years while on the other hand the student may never have been involved in any activity that is even similar to the martial arts training they are undertaking. Therefore the teacher bears the greater responsibility to demonstrate the way. Not only must they demonstrate the way, but they must continue to demonstrate the way if he or she wants to command the respect of their students as well as their fellow instructors!
There are many prerequisites required in order to develop the respect and consequently the loyalty of the student. The following are some of the most important. First and Foremost, the student must feel that the teachers is genuinely concerned with their welfare and safety. This means that the teacher protects the student from harming themselves as well as allowing others to harm them. Second, the student must feel that the teacher respects them as a person as well as a student. Third, the student must feel that the teacher has something to offer them and that they are learning something well worth while. Fourth, the student must feel that they themselves are making progress and equally so that the teacher feels that they are making progress. Everyone wants to progress and therefore it is essential that this component be present.
"The most effective leadership is by example, not edict." John C. Maxwell
Attitude is everything. Author; Unknown
Negative Leadership
There are many types of negative leadership. Each of these or a combination of them can easily destroy a good strong organization. Here I will mention a few that are often practiced in many martial arts organizations.
Smart leaders believe only half of what they hear. Discerning leaders know which half to believe. John C. Maxwell
Psy-Ops & Disinformation
While serving in the Army's 11th Special Forces Group, my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) was 97B - Counter Intelligence Agent. Not only was the Counter Intelligence soldiers trained in basic military skills, various weapons, hand-to-hand combat, proper etiquette, collection and dissemination of classified information, signal intelligence and military law, we also spent a great deal of our time training in Psy-Ops (Psychological Operations) and Disinformation. Both Psy-Ops and Disinformation are primarily used against the enemy (Opponent), but each can also be used against one's own people. Many senior martial artist have and will use Psy-Ops and Disinformation to control their students as well as to pretend to be something they are not. When used in this manner, it is always a bad thing and will eventually result in the student's rightfully feeling that they have been used and/or deceived by the senior. There are no long term positive effects of their abuse and many good organizations have literally been destroyed by their misuse. Psy-Ops is anything that creates the desired psychological effect (good or bad, but usually bad) on the opponent or student, while Disinformation is the use of information that is not true, but that can be manipulated to be made to appear to be true in the eyes of the opponent or student.
Many people want to put everything down in writing and while this certainly has it's merits, it is important to remember that true martial artist consider their word as well as their teacher's word to be their bond, they do not need to see it in writing. With this important fact in mind, it is easy to understand that when the teacher spreads information that the student knows is untrue or eventually finds out to be untrue, then the teacher will eventually lose the respect and consequently the loyalty of his student. This is how it is; This is how it has always been; and this is how it must always be!
Hidden Agendas
Hidden agendas can also be a major problem with destructive results for many martial arts organizations. Many Senior Instructors will make decisions based on hidden agendas. These Senior Instructors will seldom if ever request the expertise, experience and knowledge of their most senior people due largely in fact to the misconception that to ask for advise and then to accept and use this advice constitutes a weakness on the part of the Senior Instructor. If in fact this type of Senior Instructor does request advise, in most cases, it is often nothing more than a smoke screen. This smoke screen is established for several reasons; (1). It allows the Senior Instructor to loudly proclaim that he did in fact illicit the advice of his Senior Advisors even though he never intended to heed or to make use of their advise. This appearance of requesting advise will be broadly advertised which will result in a feeling of warm unity and joint cooperation throughout the organization when in fact nothing could be farther from the truth. (2). It establishes the false assumption that the senior Instructor did not make the decision alone, when in fact the decision was made long before the advice was ever requested. (3). It allows the Senior Instructor to establish a scapegoat, someone to carry the blame when the Senior Instructor's idea fails. In many cases the Senior Instructor will even go farther and openly state that he was given bad advise by someone, but out of the goodness of his own heart and being the good moral person that he is, he will not name this person, an act that would in fact be impossible anyway, especially since no such person ever existed.
An important question for every leader: "Am I building people, or building my dream and using people to do it" John C. Maxwell
It is wonderful when the people believe in their leader; but it is more wonderful when the leader believes in the people. John. C. Maxwell
Character
Shamefully so, martial arts leadership can be like any other leadership. It is solely dependant on the individual leader's admirable or destructive character. Some people will tell you one thing to your face and then say something totally different behind your back. I am not referring to comments kept from someone in order to keep from hurting someone's feelings, but instead comments that are in most every case totally untrue and used in an attempt to discredit the one being attacked while at the same time attempting to increase the attacker's personal status. Whenever we run into someone like this, we need to remember that this is part of their character and you can bet everything you own, if they are talking to you about someone else, they are talking to someone else about you when you are not around. Generally speaking, these types of people will never change regardless of what happens. The only way that these people could ever change, would be for them to face the facts about themselves and most of them would never choose to do that. Therefore, as long as this is part of who they are, they could not change even if they wanted to!
Your Actions Speak So Loud, That I Can't Hear A Word You're Saying!-Author Unknown
My Father used to constantly remind me of the above quote and I have never forgotten it.
The following is taken from the book "The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader." written by Mr. John C. Maxwell. "Anyone can say that they have integrity, but a person's actions are the real indicator of their character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are determines what you see. What you see determines what you do. That's why you can never separate a leader's character from his actions. If a leader's actions and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why."
Talent Is a Gift, but Character Is a Choice.-John C. Maxwell
I once had a friend who's karate Sensei was like the person I have just described above. My friend left the organization he had been a member of for more than 30 years. Sometime later I heard, from a mutual friend of ours, that he had left his organization. Eventually, he called me and I ask him what had happened. To this he said, "Jim, I could never get used to someone standing in front of me, giving me a kiss while at the same time reaching around behind me and twisting a knife in my back. Sensei would talk about the other Seniors to me and then I would here from one of them that he was talking about me to them. I have been dealing with this for many years hoping that Sensei would eventually change. Not only did he not change, but he got worse as he got older. He kept everything he could from all the seniors and became very upset and suspicious when ever he found out that any of his seniors had been communicating with each other. Regardless of the fact that we were all supposed to be working together, nothing could have been further from the truth. Sensei went out of his way in an attempt to sabotage everything we attempted to do. Eventually, I was forced to finally make a decision. Will I continue to compromise my own moral character for someone who would do this and the answer I finally came up with was, absolutely not. I left the organization I loved so much, but I could not follow this man any longer."
Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character -John C. Maxwell
Four years later, during a conversation with my friend I discovered that his teacher's organization had virtually exploded from within. Nearly every one of his most Senior followers had left him. My friend went on to say that after conversations with some of the remaining students, his was told that his Sensei never took responsibility for what had happened. He went on to say, "Everyone knew what had happen, even those members who stayed knew that it was all Sensei's doings, but Sensei could and would never admit that he had literally destroyed his own organization with no one to blame but himself."
Some people will change mates, jobs, homes, cars and friends, but never, ever think of changing themselves!-Author nknown
I remember reading an old Chinese proverb years ago that fits both good and bad leadership perfectly: "Water can support a ship and water can also sink a ship."
Some Senior Organizational Instructors will play with their organizations, constantly changing things and consequently jerking their people around in an attempt to see just how many hoops they can make their students jump through. Eventually, the students will realize that getting mad is nothing more than a waste of time and consequently the student will get tired of jumping at every whelm the teacher has. The student will eventually either isolate themselves from the teacher or simply leave the organization completely.
"Anger is just like picking up a hot piece of coal and trying to throw it at the person you hate. You are the only one that gets burned."- Buddha
http://www.chitoryu.com/leadership.htm
Leadership
Leaders are like Eagles, "Eagles don't flock-you have to find them one at a time."-H. Ross Perot
In Theory the difference between Martial Arts Leadership and Military Leadership is that in Theory, there is no difference!
Having read the above statement, one will quickly agree (especially if you have served in the military) that there are numerous differences in the two types of leadership while at the same time, there are numerous similarities between the two. In the military, basically speaking, one must remain in the armed services until they are released from service. In the martial arts however, one can leave whenever one decides to go, even without so much as a phone call to their teacher. In the military one has little recourse if they are physically and/or mentally abused by their superiors and even if they complain, normally, they are simply moved to another unit. Seldom is anyone totally released from serving. In the martial arts one can totally stop training whenever they feel that they have been treated bad and they never have to even give a reason unless they want to. Now having said all of this, I realize that one can just sit down, even in the military and refuse to comply, but when they are finally released from service it may be with a dishonorable discharge which could haunt them the rest of their life. So, the deterrent is certainly their to warrant their wanting to at least put in their time and then get out. There is very little negative effects suffered for anyone who joins a martial arts school, takes everything the teacher has to offer and then leaves when their feelings get hurt or when something shiner comes along.
In the last few years the military has been forced to make numerous concessions in order to obtain and retain soldiers. As a general rule, so has the martial arts community. In many martial arts schools we now see all kinds of aerobic classes, kick boxing classes (and I don't mean real kick boxing classes), and anything else that the public takes a fancy to. Few styles still train the same way that they did in the 1960's, 70's and even the 1980's. Not only have the people changed, but specifically, their reasons for wanting to train in the martial arts have also changed. When the reasons for training change, so must the training itself change. Few people today would return to a class night after night to receive a bloody nose, loose teeth, lumps on the arms and legs or even worse, but many of us did. Why? At the time, we were convinced that this was the way to train. We were convinced that if you didn't bleed a little, have a of broken nose, have a few stitches or loose teeth to boast about then your training was too weak.
Even when a martial arts system takes the necessary steps by making the appropriate changes in order to make the art more appealing to the public, the system may still fail to bring in any large number of students. Why is this? The success of one system over another is, in most instances, not only a direct reflection of the senior instructors' leadership ability, but their potential leadership ability as well. I include both ability and potential ability in this equation because in many instances the senior teacher may possess fantastic martial technical ability, but be totally lacking in their ability to lead a large group of followers. Many leaders find that even with leadership training, they still may be lacking the necessary characteristics to lead.
Developing Followers or Leaders
Many karate organizations have fallen apart after the Senior Instructor's death due to the senior's lack of concern, fear or total inability to develop other leaders. Most senior teachers develop many followers, but few take the time and energy required to develop other leaders. There are many reasons for this and some of them are; (1) Leaders are more difficult to develop than followers and therefore many seniors will never take the extra time and energy required to develop good strong leaders. (2) Leaders are inquisitive by nature and this is often viewed as disrespectful or threatening by the Senior, therefore it is safer and much more comfortable for the senior to simply develop followers. (3) Leaders want to lead and if not allowed to lead, may eventually simply break away and form their own groups in order to exercise their own leadership abilities. (4) Leaders are harder to find and to attract especially if the senior's attitude is only to develop the followers around him. (5) Many Seniors want to gain all of the credit for everything that is done and therefore will never develop the leaders around them for fear of the competition. {This reminds me of a valuable piece of information that I was once given while attending a military leadership course. "No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all of the credit for doing it." by Andrew Carnegie. I also remember another quote I read many, many times while attending Special Forces School at the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The quote was considered so important that it had been printed on a poster and placed beside the front door for every Special Forces Soldier to memorize. The quote said; "Give a man a fish you feed him for a day; Teach him to fish and you will feed him for life." We Teach Men To Fish! United States Army Special Forces. Many Seniors are not interested in teaching men to fish, but instead they would rather have the student forever totally dependant on them. This will always result in a tragic end for the senior's martial art. No one man can ever accomplish what a group of enthusiastic, dedicated, motivated and coordinated leaders can accomplish.
Below I have listed a comparison of Senior Martial Artist who simply develop followers as opposed to those who develop leaders.
It is only when we develop others, that we permanently succeed. -Harvey S. Firestone
(1) Seniors who develop followers need to be needed. Seniors who develop leaders want to be succeeded.
(2) Seniors who develop followers will develop the bottom 20%. Seniors who develop leaders will develop the top 20%.
(3) Seniors who develop followers focus on the weaknesses of their people. Seniors who develop leaders focus on the strengths of their people.
(4) Seniors who develop followers will treat their people the same for fairness. Seniors who develop leaders will treat their leaders as if these leaders will someday carry on the system the senior teaches.
(5) Seniors who develop followers will hoard power. Seniors who develop leaders will give power away.
(6) Seniors who develop followers will spend time with their followers. Seniors who develop leaders will invest time with their leaders.
(7) Seniors who develop followers will grow by addition. Seniors who develop leaders will grow by multiplication.
(8) Seniors who develop followers will impact only the people that they touch personally. Seniors who develop leaders will impact people far beyond their own reach.
Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purpose, not to make a great show in the world, not a name. There is but one just use of power, and it is to serve people. George Bush
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Positive Leadership
Loyalty is a major factor in any martial arts system as well as the training of any martial artist. I once heard a very wise man say, "The reason loyalty is so often spoken of in the martial arts is because there is so damn little of it." In order for the student of develop loyalty toward the teacher, there must be respect. If the student does not respect the teacher then true loyalty can never exist. Genuine loyalty is always developed thru time and is a direct result of respect, therefore, it is virtually impossible for a student to express true loyalty to a teacher that they do not respect. The student may initially admire and/or even fear the teacher, but eventually this admiration and fear must be replaced by genuine respect. True or Genuine Respect is not something that is just freely given, it must be earned, therefore anything that can be earned can be lost. How does a teacher earn the respect of the student? Some teachers think that the student should just blindly give them the respect, that they (the teacher) feels that he or she deserves. Personally, I think it is important to understand that the teacher bear the greater responsibility here, not the student. If the teacher wants respect, they must first earn it. After all the teacher has most likely been training in their discipline for many years while on the other hand the student may never have been involved in any activity that is even similar to the martial arts training they are undertaking. Therefore the teacher bears the greater responsibility to demonstrate the way. Not only must they demonstrate the way, but they must continue to demonstrate the way if he or she wants to command the respect of their students as well as their fellow instructors!
There are many prerequisites required in order to develop the respect and consequently the loyalty of the student. The following are some of the most important. First and Foremost, the student must feel that the teachers is genuinely concerned with their welfare and safety. This means that the teacher protects the student from harming themselves as well as allowing others to harm them. Second, the student must feel that the teacher respects them as a person as well as a student. Third, the student must feel that the teacher has something to offer them and that they are learning something well worth while. Fourth, the student must feel that they themselves are making progress and equally so that the teacher feels that they are making progress. Everyone wants to progress and therefore it is essential that this component be present.
"The most effective leadership is by example, not edict." John C. Maxwell
Attitude is everything. Author; Unknown
Negative Leadership
There are many types of negative leadership. Each of these or a combination of them can easily destroy a good strong organization. Here I will mention a few that are often practiced in many martial arts organizations.
Smart leaders believe only half of what they hear. Discerning leaders know which half to believe. John C. Maxwell
Psy-Ops & Disinformation
While serving in the Army's 11th Special Forces Group, my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) was 97B - Counter Intelligence Agent. Not only was the Counter Intelligence soldiers trained in basic military skills, various weapons, hand-to-hand combat, proper etiquette, collection and dissemination of classified information, signal intelligence and military law, we also spent a great deal of our time training in Psy-Ops (Psychological Operations) and Disinformation. Both Psy-Ops and Disinformation are primarily used against the enemy (Opponent), but each can also be used against one's own people. Many senior martial artist have and will use Psy-Ops and Disinformation to control their students as well as to pretend to be something they are not. When used in this manner, it is always a bad thing and will eventually result in the student's rightfully feeling that they have been used and/or deceived by the senior. There are no long term positive effects of their abuse and many good organizations have literally been destroyed by their misuse. Psy-Ops is anything that creates the desired psychological effect (good or bad, but usually bad) on the opponent or student, while Disinformation is the use of information that is not true, but that can be manipulated to be made to appear to be true in the eyes of the opponent or student.
Many people want to put everything down in writing and while this certainly has it's merits, it is important to remember that true martial artist consider their word as well as their teacher's word to be their bond, they do not need to see it in writing. With this important fact in mind, it is easy to understand that when the teacher spreads information that the student knows is untrue or eventually finds out to be untrue, then the teacher will eventually lose the respect and consequently the loyalty of his student. This is how it is; This is how it has always been; and this is how it must always be!
Hidden Agendas
Hidden agendas can also be a major problem with destructive results for many martial arts organizations. Many Senior Instructors will make decisions based on hidden agendas. These Senior Instructors will seldom if ever request the expertise, experience and knowledge of their most senior people due largely in fact to the misconception that to ask for advise and then to accept and use this advice constitutes a weakness on the part of the Senior Instructor. If in fact this type of Senior Instructor does request advise, in most cases, it is often nothing more than a smoke screen. This smoke screen is established for several reasons; (1). It allows the Senior Instructor to loudly proclaim that he did in fact illicit the advice of his Senior Advisors even though he never intended to heed or to make use of their advise. This appearance of requesting advise will be broadly advertised which will result in a feeling of warm unity and joint cooperation throughout the organization when in fact nothing could be farther from the truth. (2). It establishes the false assumption that the senior Instructor did not make the decision alone, when in fact the decision was made long before the advice was ever requested. (3). It allows the Senior Instructor to establish a scapegoat, someone to carry the blame when the Senior Instructor's idea fails. In many cases the Senior Instructor will even go farther and openly state that he was given bad advise by someone, but out of the goodness of his own heart and being the good moral person that he is, he will not name this person, an act that would in fact be impossible anyway, especially since no such person ever existed.
An important question for every leader: "Am I building people, or building my dream and using people to do it" John C. Maxwell
It is wonderful when the people believe in their leader; but it is more wonderful when the leader believes in the people. John. C. Maxwell
Character
Shamefully so, martial arts leadership can be like any other leadership. It is solely dependant on the individual leader's admirable or destructive character. Some people will tell you one thing to your face and then say something totally different behind your back. I am not referring to comments kept from someone in order to keep from hurting someone's feelings, but instead comments that are in most every case totally untrue and used in an attempt to discredit the one being attacked while at the same time attempting to increase the attacker's personal status. Whenever we run into someone like this, we need to remember that this is part of their character and you can bet everything you own, if they are talking to you about someone else, they are talking to someone else about you when you are not around. Generally speaking, these types of people will never change regardless of what happens. The only way that these people could ever change, would be for them to face the facts about themselves and most of them would never choose to do that. Therefore, as long as this is part of who they are, they could not change even if they wanted to!
Your Actions Speak So Loud, That I Can't Hear A Word You're Saying!-Author Unknown
My Father used to constantly remind me of the above quote and I have never forgotten it.
The following is taken from the book "The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader." written by Mr. John C. Maxwell. "Anyone can say that they have integrity, but a person's actions are the real indicator of their character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are determines what you see. What you see determines what you do. That's why you can never separate a leader's character from his actions. If a leader's actions and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why."
Talent Is a Gift, but Character Is a Choice.-John C. Maxwell
I once had a friend who's karate Sensei was like the person I have just described above. My friend left the organization he had been a member of for more than 30 years. Sometime later I heard, from a mutual friend of ours, that he had left his organization. Eventually, he called me and I ask him what had happened. To this he said, "Jim, I could never get used to someone standing in front of me, giving me a kiss while at the same time reaching around behind me and twisting a knife in my back. Sensei would talk about the other Seniors to me and then I would here from one of them that he was talking about me to them. I have been dealing with this for many years hoping that Sensei would eventually change. Not only did he not change, but he got worse as he got older. He kept everything he could from all the seniors and became very upset and suspicious when ever he found out that any of his seniors had been communicating with each other. Regardless of the fact that we were all supposed to be working together, nothing could have been further from the truth. Sensei went out of his way in an attempt to sabotage everything we attempted to do. Eventually, I was forced to finally make a decision. Will I continue to compromise my own moral character for someone who would do this and the answer I finally came up with was, absolutely not. I left the organization I loved so much, but I could not follow this man any longer."
Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character -John C. Maxwell
Four years later, during a conversation with my friend I discovered that his teacher's organization had virtually exploded from within. Nearly every one of his most Senior followers had left him. My friend went on to say that after conversations with some of the remaining students, his was told that his Sensei never took responsibility for what had happened. He went on to say, "Everyone knew what had happen, even those members who stayed knew that it was all Sensei's doings, but Sensei could and would never admit that he had literally destroyed his own organization with no one to blame but himself."
Some people will change mates, jobs, homes, cars and friends, but never, ever think of changing themselves!-Author nknown
I remember reading an old Chinese proverb years ago that fits both good and bad leadership perfectly: "Water can support a ship and water can also sink a ship."
Some Senior Organizational Instructors will play with their organizations, constantly changing things and consequently jerking their people around in an attempt to see just how many hoops they can make their students jump through. Eventually, the students will realize that getting mad is nothing more than a waste of time and consequently the student will get tired of jumping at every whelm the teacher has. The student will eventually either isolate themselves from the teacher or simply leave the organization completely.
"Anger is just like picking up a hot piece of coal and trying to throw it at the person you hate. You are the only one that gets burned."- Buddha
...just pointing out the common rank/leadership structure in martial arts. 
