Last Poster #7

[Steve]

Was going to be going to a gathering/camping trip with a group that I don't have experience with, hoping to make some more friends in the area. On their website, no one is listed as the pure head of the group, and didn't see any major red flags.

Thursday we had a zoom meeting, and they mentioned a discord. My buddy who was going to be joining too asked about it, and they said it's a paid discord run by the guy who's their main leader, and mentioned his name. Friday my buddy told me to look the guy up, and that he won't be going.

I'm glad he recognized the name. Among the long list of things I found about the guy..he's kicked people out (of the group, not just the discord) for being lgbt, or disagreeing with him on his discord, hangs out with white supremacists and when asked if he finds racism bad his answer is that it's complicated, but he doesn't openly support racism (but wouldn't denounce white supremacists), has made a living conning people out of money, promising things then saying he doesn't have enough money because he quit his job (being supported by these people) and buying a house, rather than spending the money on what he asked it for, claims that gods talk to him, and has demanded people make blood oaths to him (and cut people with knives deep enough they had to go to hospitals when they refused). That last one has happened when on camping trips similar to the one we were going to go on, where they'd be out in the woods alone with him and his essentially followers (though they didn't identify themselves as that).

If he hadn't recognized the name and pieced together this was the group of his followers (the groups name he never mentions, anywhere online) there'd be a situation where he tries to cut me, my friend, or someone else there, I'd respond in kind and either get attacked by his followers or put in jail for assault. Dodged an almost literal bullet here.

Dodged a bullet is right. Damn.

 

[jks9199]

The funny thing is that both of us had spent a few hours looking into this group before signing up, and could find almost nothing negative online about them, just a few things from their members, and their own web page where they say all the right things (and don't mention that they're a group with a leader, or said leader's name).

Minor note -- any group that doesn't have some sort of hierarchy listed is a red flag to me. Someone should be listed as trip organizer, club president, whatever... but there just needs to be someone coordinating things like site reservations or whatever. "We don't have a leader... but Fred there makes the reservations, Bob finds places we might want to go and we discuss them on Discord, and choose... Betty welcomes new folks and helps them get squared away."

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Minor note -- any group that doesn't have some sort of hierarchy listed is a red flag to me. Someone should be listed as trip organizer, club president, whatever... but there just needs to be someone coordinating things like site reservations or whatever. "We don't have a leader... but Fred there makes the reservations, Bob finds places we might want to go and we discuss them on Discord, and choose... Betty welcomes new folks and helps them get squared away."

They kind of had that. Not listed directly on their website, but they had person a who organized the trips, and a treasurer, and a 'secretary', but no leader listed. Well..there was a leader listed but after knowing what I was looking for it still took half an hour to click through everything and find on their website.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Dodged a bullet is right. Damn.

Might be the only time I can use that phrase literally.

 

[Steve]

They kind of had that. Not listed directly on their website, but they had person a who organized the trips, and a treasurer, and a 'secretary', but no leader listed. Well..there was a leader listed but after knowing what I was looking for it still took half an hour to click through everything and find on their website.

Can you share a link? I’m very curious.

 

[granfire]

They kind of had that. Not listed directly on their website, but they had person a who organized the trips, and a treasurer, and a 'secretary', but no leader listed. Well..there was a leader listed but after knowing what I was looking for it still took half an hour to click through everything and find on their website.

yeah, having to jump through that many hoops. Nope.
Glad your friend listened to his little voice there and looked the dude up.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Can you share a link? I’m very curious.

Don't want to get involved with any drama online, but I'll dm it to you.

 

[drop bear]

This is fun. A promotional t shirt from masters boxing that one of our gym members competed in.

 

[Tigerwarrior]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life? I'm not depressed or anything, but I suddenly realized I'm turning 32 next month and I honestly have nothing to show for it. I don't have my own place still live with a parent for various reasons, don't have a car or license, no significant other, and my career seems to be going nowhere. None of this depresses me but I do think about it from time to time and tell myself I need to get my stuff together. Other than the arts I don't have much to show.

 

[_Simon_]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life?

Every. Single. Day.

Seriously, it's a feeling I grapple with constantly, I've never really known. For years and years I tried to force myself to know, high school certainly drilled it in that we had to know our career, had to know what we were going to do etc. It became such a pressure that I did things just because I felt I had to.

I finally just came to terms with that sense of unknown and uncertainty, and tried to trust a bit. The trajectory has really been interesting, and it's more like riding the wave of where life is taking me. Some people know, and that's great. But not everyone does, and I think that's something to cherish, as it leads one down a different type of path.

I've never been truly fulfilled with any job I've had, but I can see that they've all served a purpose.

Accumulating things and following the traditional way of life is not for everyone. Of course, some things are darn handy to have, and they come if you truly actually want them and apply yourself. But I'm finding I have to follow my own intuition and path in all this if there's to be any semblance of fulfillment.

Comparing myself with others destroyed me, and was (IS) something I had/have to work on. I had to let go of comparing, and rather looking at others as sources of inspiration rather than superior/inferior comparison.

Nothing to show for it you say.. to me, the fact that you're HERE, living, and being your authentic self shows everything. All the other "stuff".. to me doesn't even factor in, and doesn't compare to you just being here. Accumulating achievements is something I left a time ago, yet I found that they happened naturally as a result of just following what I value and love in life, rather than aiming to achieve.

I certainly haven't gotten it all sorted out. I think there are many who on the surface seem to but don't really. Then I don't really understand what it means to have it all "sorted out" or "something to show for it". I would absolutely inquire deeply into what you actually mean when you say that, find the root of it. Our mindset and frame of reference is powerful, any unexamined assumptions can really get us into quite a pickle, as we compare ourselves with everyone else based on some false notion of something we don't even really value!

All just my own ponderings, take or leave as you like haha

 

[Xue Sheng]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life? I'm not depressed or anything, but I suddenly realized I'm turning 32 next month and I honestly have nothing to show for it. I don't have my own place still live with a parent for various reasons, don't have a car or license, no significant other, and my career seems to be going nowhere. None of this depresses me but I do think about it from time to time and tell myself I need to get my stuff together. Other than the arts I don't have much to show.

Many times (as I rapidly close in on 32 myself....for the second time), and generally when I get close to thinking I figured it out....something changes and I find myself thinking about it all over again.... case in point..... youngest going off to college, becoming an empty nester (I suspect there might be some pretty significant changes in my life at that point I am not ready to discuss just yet), and looking at retirement in the not to distant future.

Just try and go where I am supposed to go, its a Taoist kind of thing, and that is not always easy

 

[Steve]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life? I'm not depressed or anything, but I suddenly realized I'm turning 32 next month and I honestly have nothing to show for it. I don't have my own place still live with a parent for various reasons, don't have a car or license, no significant other, and my career seems to be going nowhere. None of this depresses me but I do think about it from time to time and tell myself I need to get my stuff together. Other than the arts I don't have much to show.

Definitely not alone. I have a pretty simple philosophy that I tried to instill in my kids (who seem to be doing pretty darn well so far). Which is that it's more about maintaining forward momentum than it is about making "the right" choices all the time. Everything in life is an accumulation of experiences. If you aren't sure what you want to do as a career, just do something. Get a job that pays you well enough to do what you want to do, that you hopefully enjoy. And if that's not the right thing for you long term, start thinking about what's next. It's like rungs on a ladder, the really important rung is the one you're on and the next one... and if you keep moving along those rungs the rest tends to take care of itself.

There's some other stuff in there I usually mention about not being worried about other people's ladders... comparing your journey to theirs and "keeping score" in life is a great way to be miserable.

 

[Xue Sheng]

You know, I have been setting up PCs today with 2 screens....and I can honestly say, IMO, two 32 inch monitors is WAAAAAAY too much screen.... its down right intimidating

 

[Steve]

You know, I have been setting up PCs today with 2 screens....and I can honestly say, IMO, two 32 inch monitors is WAAAAAAY too much screen.... its down right intimidating

I use up every inch of two monitors plus the open laptop, which I use as a third monitor. Sometimes, when I’m reviewing a lot of documents or memos, I’ll turn a monitor so that I can see an entire page on one screen.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I use up every inch of two monitors plus the open laptop, which I use as a third monitor. Sometimes, when I’m reviewing a lot of documents or memos, I’ll turn a monitor so that I can see an entire page on one screen.

2 monitors can be useful, but two 32 inch monitors side by side are overwhelming, at least to me

 

[granfire]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life? I'm not depressed or anything, but I suddenly realized I'm turning 32 next month and I honestly have nothing to show for it. I don't have my own place still live with a parent for various reasons, don't have a car or license, no significant other, and my career seems to be going nowhere. None of this depresses me but I do think about it from time to time and tell myself I need to get my stuff together. Other than the arts I don't have much to show.

well, I'd live with my Mum in a heartbeat. And I am a wee bit older.
There is something really nice about living with family - if yu get along.
The Job (excuse me, career) is a means to an end. It is ok to just make a living. from it.
32?
Whippersnapper.
A person can be complete without a spouse (or partner or what have you). Besides, who knows.
'other than the arts'
well, that is a pretty big thing,
it gives you joy, fulfillment...
It is enough.

 

[seasoned]

Anyone ever not know where you're going in life? I'm not depressed or anything, but I suddenly realized I'm turning 32 next month and I honestly have nothing to show for it. I don't have my own place still live with a parent for various reasons, don't have a car or license, no significant other, and my career seems to be going nowhere. None of this depresses me but I do think about it from time to time and tell myself I need to get my stuff together. Other than the arts I don't have much to show.

My mom always said..."one day at a time". I'm 80 years old and her words have stuck with me all these years. Looking at the whole can be very challenging so make a list and start with the most doable and in time work your way thgrough the list and progress will happen.....(One day at a time).

 

[Xue Sheng]

You have to love it when an IT developer (corp, not gov)....has no clue as to what being a developer means...because if he did...those issues that come to him...that a developer should be fixing....he would not push off on me.....who does nothing remotely close to developing...... I will deal with this tomorrow...had enough of today and I'm going home

 

[granfire]

You have to love it when an IT developer (corp, not gov)....has no clue as to what being a developer means...because if he did...those issues that come to him...that a developer should be fixing....he would not push off on me.....who does nothing remotely close to developing...... I will deal with this tomorrow...had enough of today and I'm going home

well, he's a government contractor.
Why fix stuff....

 

[Xue Sheng]

well, he's a government contractor.
Why fix stuff....

Not a contractor, corporation is state funded, he has all the same benefits as I do and gets paid more than a state developer doing the same job....only other difference is he is much easier to get rid of him....and I'm not a developer, not even a little bit..... there will be a discussion today about him...doing is dang job.... this is not the first time he has done something like this..... his reasoning yesterday was....he is to busy..... yeah right...who the heck isn't