Feeling bittersweet…
23 years ago today, I started in my career as a police officer. It had taken me years and many attempts to finally get hired. I was excited, proud of my new agency, and looking forward with a little nervousness to the academy and my career.
Well, I got through the academy, and survived my first year. It had its bumpy moments – but some cool stuff, too. I’ve seen things that I’d never wish on my worst enemy – and been privileged to be there at fantastic moments in people’s lives. I’ve locked a few folks up that really deserved it, kept a few out of jail that didn’t belong there, and even saved a few lives. Thankfully, I haven’t taken any. Along the way, I’ve been a task force officer working street gangs, herded cats as a patrol supervisor, and herded crazed cats on meth as an investigations supervisor. I look around, and sometimes wonder why all these kids are running around playing cops and robbers… and where’d all the guys I knew go. I see colleagues that I would sit car-to-car with from other agencies who are now deputy chiefs and chiefs.
I’m on my third chief. I’ve seen our command staff restructured a couple of times. I still see some of the same challenges (why can’t we have enough cars for a squad to hit the street without bandaiding them in lot?) persist, and new issues come up. I still don’t get why it is that so many command staff types seem to feel that sharing information or letting the line officers have real input is such a bad thing… I’ve seen golden children come and go, some to soar, others crashed and burned.
Currently, I’m trying to decide if it’s time for a new phase in my life. What do I want to do as a “grown up?” Do I retire? What do I want to do for the next ten or twenty years? I still love being a cop – I like interacting with people, I like the folks working for me (I oughta…. I hired most of them!) and see big things down the road for them. I kind of want to be there to see that… but I also see the back room politics and have a pretty good idea where I stand in them. I see the drama, and I see the things that excited me buried behind the petty crap and games and nonsense that detract from the job.
23 years ago today, I started in my career as a police officer. It had taken me years and many attempts to finally get hired. I was excited, proud of my new agency, and looking forward with a little nervousness to the academy and my career.
Well, I got through the academy, and survived my first year. It had its bumpy moments – but some cool stuff, too. I’ve seen things that I’d never wish on my worst enemy – and been privileged to be there at fantastic moments in people’s lives. I’ve locked a few folks up that really deserved it, kept a few out of jail that didn’t belong there, and even saved a few lives. Thankfully, I haven’t taken any. Along the way, I’ve been a task force officer working street gangs, herded cats as a patrol supervisor, and herded crazed cats on meth as an investigations supervisor. I look around, and sometimes wonder why all these kids are running around playing cops and robbers… and where’d all the guys I knew go. I see colleagues that I would sit car-to-car with from other agencies who are now deputy chiefs and chiefs.
I’m on my third chief. I’ve seen our command staff restructured a couple of times. I still see some of the same challenges (why can’t we have enough cars for a squad to hit the street without bandaiding them in lot?) persist, and new issues come up. I still don’t get why it is that so many command staff types seem to feel that sharing information or letting the line officers have real input is such a bad thing… I’ve seen golden children come and go, some to soar, others crashed and burned.
Currently, I’m trying to decide if it’s time for a new phase in my life. What do I want to do as a “grown up?” Do I retire? What do I want to do for the next ten or twenty years? I still love being a cop – I like interacting with people, I like the folks working for me (I oughta…. I hired most of them!) and see big things down the road for them. I kind of want to be there to see that… but I also see the back room politics and have a pretty good idea where I stand in them. I see the drama, and I see the things that excited me buried behind the petty crap and games and nonsense that detract from the job.
