Is this disrespectful?

[KempoGuy06]

I currents do SKK. We had an instructor that also taught BJJ. My dojo then set up a seperate BJJ system where you could earn rank (before it was just come and learn stuff no organized rank system). Due to financial and health reason I had to take a 5 month break. I come back and the BJJ program has been stopped. Apparently there was a falling out between my SKK instructor and the BJJ instructor.

Well the BJJ instructor has set up a school in a different county. Im very interested in joining and resuming my training in BJJ.

Would thisbe disrespectful to my instructor? Apparently it was a pretty bad falling out.

Thanks for the help

B

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Well I do not know about disrespectful but it could possibly cost a friendship. I would way this pretty heavily and I would also talk with your instructor and see if you can figure out a way to have a new BJJ instructor come in or regular seminars.

 

[bluekey88]

This is an inter4sting dilema. On the surface of it, what you propose is not disrespectful in my opinion. You are an adult living in a free country. You can certainly choose to cross train with whomever you wish should you have the time, money and dsire to do so. Given that your instructor had this guy providing that service in house indicates that he is not inherently against the idea of cross-training.

Where it me, I'd only not train with him if I knew that the cause ofr the falling out wasn;t something that would preclude me from training witht his guy anyway (abusing students perhaps or embexxling school funds for example). If this guy and the instructor just couldn't play nice in the sandbox together..that's there issue.

However, the issue i think is not wether or not cross training with this guy is actually disrespectful. It is will for kenpo instructor perceive the act as disrespectful? In this case, your intentions (or lack thereof) don't mean anything in the face of his perceptions. You need to ask yourself what your instuctor will feel, then you should go from there as to hwo to address it? It may be the case that he will be coll with your training with this other instructor even though they don't get along...or he may be really jealous and this could impact on your relationship.] Think on that and I feel you'll figure out what to do.

Peace,
Erik

 

[bostonbomber]

I think it depends on your relationship with your instructor and the nature of the break up. If your SKK instructor and BJJ instructor differ in the way the school should be run then it may not be a big deal. If they have big ideological differences in martial arts instruction then that's a different story.

Brian gave good advice, you should talk to your instructor. I definitely wouldn't do anything behind your instructors back.

 

[BrandonLucas]

I was in the same boat for a while, so I know exactly where you're coming from.

I was training under my current instructor for 6 years. During that time, a fellow blackbelt started a "sister" school using the same dojang name. Everything was great for a while, but, after some time, my instructor and the blackbelt had a falling out. To this day, I'm not entirely certain on what the reason for it is, but I have my ideas. I do know that it was nothing to do with anything damaging to students or to the dojang at all...it was more of a personal issue.

So the blackbelt persued other types of martial arts all together...actually shunning TKD in the process. He attempted to open several schools prior to the one he has open now, and was met with little success. The school that is open now is doing well, and he appears to be happy teaching his own methods.

Shortly after their falling out, I stopped attending my instructor...mostly because I was 18, had a girlfriend, and wanted to do the party thing, like alot of dumb kids do. I didn't really try to do anything until I saw an ad in the paper for the fellow blackbelt's new school that he had opened (one of the ones that didn't do so well at the time). So I started attending his class...more for the change of direction than anything else. I was tired of being out of shape and wanted to try something new. So I tried it, and I discovered it just wasn't for me.

So now, I've started going back to my first instructor, and things are going great with my training. I'm satisified with my choice, and I feel like I'm getting what I need out of the instruction that I'm receiving.

Was the choice I made disrepectful? At the time when I made it, I really thought it was. I was scared to even look at my 1st instructor. But now, I've come to realize that the whole point of either one of them offering instruction is to provide instruction to those who choose to be instructed.

What I mean by that is that everyone has the freedom of choice to attend whatever school they choose. I chose to try something new and to attend the class instructed by the fellow black belt. I discovered it wasn't what I wanted, so I went back to my first instructor.

To my knowledge, neither person was offended by the choice that I made...and even if they were, then it's not my problem that they're offended by what I choose to learn.

Now, back in the early days of martial arts spreading in the U.S., I could see something like that being considered disrespectful. Back then, it was considered a loyalty issue. But now, since people have realized that cross training in different martial arts leads to greater martial art success, instructors have accepted the fact that you can receive training from several instructors.

Basically, if your instructor cares for your well-being as a martial artist, it shouldn't matter who you train under or with, only that you train.

This, of course, depends greatly on the reason for the falling out, like bluekey mentioned. If the falling out had to do with something that harmed other students or the school, then it would probably be best to keep your distance.

 

[zeeberex]

I think it depends on your relationship with your instructor and the nature of the break up. If your SKK instructor and BJJ instructor differ in the way the school should be run then it may not be a big deal. If they have big ideological differences in martial arts instruction then that's a different story.

Brian gave good advice, you should talk to your instructor. I definitely wouldn't do anything behind your instructors back.

you beat me to it. There is the risk of severing the existing relationship, but utlimately what you do decide should be done honestly and with your existing instructor's knowledge at a minimum.

 

[foggymorning162]

I agree with bluekey88 it only matters how your instructor sees it. I would definitely speak to him first. Be straight with him tell him your interested in continuing your BJJ training and that your comfortable with the other instructor because you are already familiar with him but that you don't want to offend him either. If he doesn't have a problem great if he does ask him to refer you to another BJJ instructor.

 

[pete]

it would be more disrespectful to yourself if you didn't.

the way i see it, if your kenpo instructor has a problem with it - its HIS problem, not yours.

who know, the BJJ instructor may have a new Kenpo guy for you to train with...

life's funny like that, change is good (where have i heard that recently~)

pete.

 

[CDA4555]

I think the advice on this issue is spot on. Personal honesty and integrity should be your foundation for your decision. I'm not a big fan of the politics involved in martial arts but I also understand and respect your loyalty to your instructor. I believe that a teacher should be happy that you are searching out knowledge in other arts to better yourself. As long as you are honest with your intentions and leave the politics to the instructors then you should be able to do what you want and sleep well at night.

 

[Kacey]

If you just up and leave without talking to your current instructor about why you want to move to the other school - then, yes, I would consider that to be disrespectful. And as others have pointed out, you could be burning bridges you may want to cross later. However, if you go to your instructor and tell him what you are doing and why - then no, I wouldn't consider that to be disrespectful. He may be upset at losing you as a student to someone he is no longer in a business relationship with, but especially since it sounds like your reason is that the style you are primarily interested in is no longer being taught at your instructor's facility, rather than any dissatisfaction with your instructor, I would expect him to take it with equanimity - or at least without malice. If he takes it badly... well, that just tells you something important about his character for the future.

 

[MJS]

I currents do SKK. We had an instructor that also taught BJJ. My dojo then set up a seperate BJJ system where you could earn rank (before it was just come and learn stuff no organized rank system). Due to financial and health reason I had to take a 5 month break. I come back and the BJJ program has been stopped. Apparently there was a falling out between my SKK instructor and the BJJ instructor.

Well the BJJ instructor has set up a school in a different county. Im very interested in joining and resuming my training in BJJ.

Would thisbe disrespectful to my instructor? Apparently it was a pretty bad falling out.

Thanks for the help

B

I've been in a similar situation. I was part of a Kenpo school. One of the other instructors there, broke off and opened his own school. Despite the issues between those two, I still maintained a friendship with the inst. that left and would train at his school from time to time. However, the first inst. eventually caught wind of this and I ended up leaving that school and going with the 2nd teacher.

IMHO, I feel that whatever bad blood people have is between them. It should not involve me, or in this case, you, with what you said above. Just because the Kenpo teacher and the BJJ teacher had a falling out, doesn't mean that you should have to feel weird about training in both places. Sadly though, it doesnt always work out this way.

I think it would be obvious what the response would be, if you mention this to the Kenpo teacher. So, you could...a) pick one and just do one art, b) talk to the Kenpo teacher and get his opinion, c) don't say anything and continue to do both, d) find another BJJ teacher in the area. e) find a new Kenpo teacher. By picking d or e, you probably won't have to worry about either one knowing the other.

What would I do? I would continue to do Kenpo and I'd train with the BJJ inst. Like I said, and Pete said the same thing...the issue is between them. You should be able to do what YOU want to do.

Good luck.

Mike

 

[tko4u]

First things first, ask your instructor! Talk to him, only he can give you an answer. He might not care, but he might. talk with him and see what he has to say, give your side, why you want to continue training, if he says no, make a decision on which school you want to go to!


hope this helps,

 

[Traditionalist]

First things first, ask your instructor! Talk to him, only he can give you an answer. He might not care, but he might. talk with him and see what he has to say, give your side, why you want to continue training, if he says no, make a decision on which school you want to go to!


hope this helps,

I agree with tko4u. Your instructor is who you have to ask. In my school if you want to be a student then you go to one school and that is our. My instructor feels it is very disrespectful to go somewhere else. He sees it as if he is giving his time and knowledge to you and bringing you into his family then he wants to be reassured by your loyalty in return and once you leave you can never come back. Your instructor will give you the answer that you are looking for and then you will have to make your decision.

 

[thetruth]

Ask both instructors what the falling out was about and the truth will be somewhere in between then make a decision from there.

At the end of the day if you pay your instructor to teach and only go there to train then just like any business relationship you don't have to keep going there or using them if you choose not to. However like in most MA schools friendships form and that changes things and we do owe our friends some respect.

Cheers
Sam:asian:

 

[KempoGuy06]

thanks for all the advice everyone. I had decided to talk to my instructor, who is a reasonable person, and tell him what i wanted to do, but now events over the past couple of days have brought new changes to my life and im going to need the extra money to buy and engagement ring, so i will not be taking the BJJ class as of now. Again though thanks for the advice and when I have the extra money I will talk to my instructor.

B

 

[MJS]

thanks for all the advice everyone. I had decided to talk to my instructor, who is a reasonable person, and tell him what i wanted to do, but now events over the past couple of days have brought new changes to my life and im going to need the extra money to buy and engagement ring, so i will not be taking the BJJ class as of now. Again though thanks for the advice and when I have the extra money I will talk to my instructor.

B

Great news!! Congrats!

 

[KempoGuy06]

Great news!! Congrats!

thank you!

B

 

[BrandonLucas]

Congratulations! It's funny how things just kind of solve themselves sometimes.

However, I would still recommend those BJJ classes in the future...women can be dangerous!

 

[KempoGuy06]

Congratulations! It's funny how things just kind of solve themselves sometimes.

However, I would still recommend those BJJ classes in the future...women can be dangerous!

lol thanks...i will have to consider that. I have SKK to help for now though.

B

 

[foggymorning162]

Congrats.....Best of luck and if you do start the BJJ classes take her with you so at least it will be a fair fight :boxing: well maybe not... sometimes we women fight dirty!!!