OK... Are most people mostly decent? Yep. Most will generally do the right thing, as long as it's easy enough. Make the wrong thing hard (lock your stuff in the locker at the gym, lock your cars in your driveway, etc.) and you'll keep the majority of people obeying the law. Catch enough speeders, and most people stay close to the limit. And so on.
And more people will, under pressure, rise to the occasion than you expect. There are plenty of stories out of various tragedies to show this; I'm not trying to collect them to post here.
In the big things, people generally do well. It's the petty little things, like justifying taking that extra bag of peanuts, or pocketing it when someone gives you the wrong change, where people fall down. The problem is that it's those petty things that pile up and make the day to day, not the huge tragedies. The guy cutting you off rather than letting you merge into traffic, or who lets the door slam on you instead of holding it one second longer, the server who's curt with you... All those things add up to make the day to day experience. It's something that I fight as a cop; just about EVERYBODY lies to me. They claim they didn't know they were speeding as they passed 3 cars. They swear they stopped at the stop sign... Whatever. I don't see people at their best; I see them at their worst. It's easy to become very cynical -- so I fight that. Surprisingly, I do find people being nice to each other. You have to look for it...
First, again, if the point of the thread is that adults, particularly coaches, have influence over kids and can contribute to developing character, I agree completely.
I think I understand part of the disconnect here. It may seem as though I am looking through rose colored glasses. I think the opposite is actually true. I've worked with too many homeless people, too many drug addicts and alcoholics, and too many mentally or physically ill people who were all very, very poor to believe that anyone is a paragon of virtue. So, when I see anecdotes like the one in the OP, it's like blatant fiction to me. Perhaps it really did happen, but the implication that someone can tell from a snapshot encounter whether you're a man of integrity or not is flawed. Or said another way, if you can't think of things you've done in your life of which you are ashamed, then you are living in denial. Some people are just bad people. MOST people, however, are basically good people.
I agree with everything you say above, JKS. Completely. Which is why I get suspicious when people imply that they are above the fray. I strive to act with integrity, and I think I do. I try to model good behavior for my kids, and I hold them to a high standard. But, I'm not a paragon of virtue. I make mistakes. You all do, as well. You are not perfect angels, and the sanctimony just slays me. It's not that I think most people are great people. Rather, it's the opposite. I think people are all flawed, and I don't hold it against them. I will try to give people the benefit of the doubt and I am saddened when momentary lapses of judgement have permanent, negative consequences.
For example, I think the entire Martin/Zimmerman situation is sad. All the way around. I don't think Martin was a "bad" kid. He was an average kid, pretty typical of many kids. He did some things that weren't good, but he also did things that were good. And he made a mistake that cost him his life. Zimmerman, similarly, is not a bad guy. He's a guy with good intentions who made mistakes that he will pay for the rest of his life.
All kids make mistakes. Most adults have stories from their teenage years that end with, "Man, we were lucky we didn't get caught." Or "That was so dangerous. We're lucky no one was hurt." Or something along those lines. And most of your kids will have the same stories to tell, although you may or may not ever hear them.
And yeah. I think cops run the risk of being cynical.
. I think you grabbed the wrong end of the stick there my friend.
