I called the State Police

[Kacey]

At this point, I would be less concerned about the age difference between J and S, and more concerned about S's attitude toward guns and apparent lack of understanding of property laws. Does your cell phone have a camera? Every time you catch him on your property, or see evidence of his presence (like the paintball stuff) take a picture. Keep a file. Contact the police every time you see him on your property; then they have to keep a file as well. When you eventually have a face off with him (and I can't imagine you won't) you will have a record of his behavior - he trespasses on your property, he vandalizes your property, and he's been reported to point guns at people and use them on others' property. Warn him off every time you see him or signs he's been there, and document the warnings as well. Then when you have to throw him out bodily, you'll have a body of evidence (both your own file and the police file) of the number of times and ways you attempted to get rid of him some other way.

 

[Lynne]

At this point, I would be less concerned about the age difference between J and S, and more concerned about S's attitude toward guns and apparent lack of understanding of property laws. Does your cell phone have a camera? Every time you catch him on your property, or see evidence of his presence (like the paintball stuff) take a picture. Keep a file. Contact the police every time you see him on your property; then they have to keep a file as well. When you eventually have a face off with him (and I can't imagine you won't) you will have a record of his behavior - he trespasses on your property, he vandalizes your property, and he's been reported to point guns at people and use them on others' property. Warn him off every time you see him or signs he's been there, and document the warnings as well. Then when you have to throw him out bodily, you'll have a body of evidence (both your own file and the police file) of the number of times and ways you attempted to get rid of him some other way.

My daughter's cell has a camera and that's a very good idea. My husband saw him on our property the other day (at the time, he didn't know who it was). He did see that the landlord's children were with him (God knows why they let their little ones wander over an acre away into the woods with a 21 year old guy) and thought it was an uncle or something. so he didn't say anything. He let it slide. But now we know all of this stuff. Gee.

Oh, that the girl invited my daughter to a threesome is what really peeved me. I wanted to kill something. But I called the State Police instead.

 

[Kacey]

Oh, that the girl invited my daughter to a threesome is what really peeved me. I wanted to kill something. But I called the State Police instead.

I understand your sentiment completely... but I think you made a wiser choice calling the Police.

 

[jks9199]

As I understand it (Va has a law very similar) the 2 year age difference is a loophole for couples where in one of them would turn 18 (adult) and the other would still be 17 ("child). If the couple had already been dating for a while and these birthdays took place a good couple could conceivably be doing something illegal for a few months. Go out beyond the two year spread and we get into statutory rape and even child molestation. The law isn't "dumb" it's actually one that was thought out a little instead of just tossing a blanket statement on the entire deal and saying 18 is the cut off. Keeps 30 something guys from saying "Hey, she's over the age of consent I can do it if I want".

Virginia laws on sex offenses are very, very complicated. There are actually 3 different laws (stat rape, carnal knowledge, and contributing to the delinquincy), each covering particular age ranges, and that's before you get into things like subsequent marriage or specific acts.

The laws are a "best attempt" to answer a very complicated issue. It's quite possible, for example for two kids separated by barely over two years to be in the same grade, or only a single grade apart. A simple mathematical calculation can't assess maturity -- physical or emotional. Recognizing that, the legislature does their best to protect everyone, but there's just no perfect solution.

 

[Rich Parsons]

I "probably" wouldn't allow my 17 year old date a 20 year old. Seventeen year old girls can be quite mature, but I wonder about a 20 year old man who wants to date a girl that young. There are exceptions I suppose.

I would agree that in general I never would think well of the guy who was 20 and dated a 17 year old. Unless it happened to me. I was 20, got introduced by her cousin as I knew the family. I was in college, and so was she. I assumed she was 18 as her male cousin and her family never said anything when I was asked how old was I. I went out with her a couple of times (* Nothing happened *) before I found out about her age. I was in shock over the information. She was/is smart (* with the one lacking point of dating me *) and she was mature. We got along well and we went out on a few dates.

But I think the key here is that we both on college with jobs and getting good grades. We did not attack neighbors etcetera as described here.

I agree with Kacey, the age factor should not be as much an issue (* It can be an issue still just not as much as *) as the behavior of those that you have described.


Thanks

 

[CuongNhuka]

As I understand it (Va has a law very similar) the 2 year age difference is a loophole for couples where in one of them would turn 18 (adult) and the other would still be 17 ("child). If the couple had already been dating for a while and these birthdays took place a good couple could conceivably be doing something illegal for a few months. Go out beyond the two year spread and we get into statutory rape and even child molestation. The law isn't "dumb" it's actually one that was thought out a little instead of just tossing a blanket statement on the entire deal and saying 18 is the cut off. Keeps 30 something guys from saying "Hey, she's over the age of consent I can do it if I want".

Makes more sense when it's put that way. I didn't have it explained to me as a 'two year diff' thing.

 

[Lynne]

Haven't heard much out of the young lady's boyfriend and I haven't seen him slumping around.

However, the landlord's 23-year-old son lives in an apartment on the second floor. That side of the house faces our home. Occasionally, he has friends over and they get a little loud. Friends have the thumping bass in their cars that makes our entire house vibrate. Not too bad though The noise disturbances are usually short-lived. No reason to complain really. Until last Saturday. I heard a woman screaming. So, yes I listened to decide if I needed to call 911. Well, she was extremely intoxicated and the screaming was anger, "F" this, "F" that, "F" you. She became more agigated and started to get louder and so did the son of the landlord. Obviously, they were outside or so I thought. Now, I'm not so sure. Some people's voices really carry. Mind you, we are an acre away in distance.

After 40 minutes of this nonsense (it started around 11:00 pm), it sounded like they were becoming more and more angry. I called 911 and reported the domestic disturbance.

Oh, great. They have a police scanner. I heard the woman scream (I do mean scream), "F-ing police! Yeah, I'm drunk and I've smoked a few joints, too! F you!" Then, it got a little quieter, then a lot quieter. I supposed the police would just think I was troublemaker or a nutcase. My daughter confirmed that all the families over there have police scanners.

About 20 minutes after I called, I heard some tires squall a little. Police had arrived with their headlights off and done a u-turn in front of my house. They must have parked in front of the house or in their driveway. About 10 minutes later, the woman started screaming again. Two policemen went up the steps and knocked on the door. I could hear the woman screaming and yelling at them with the apartment door closed (a window may have been open). Two more policemen arrived. I guess 40 minutes went by. They were searching the kitchen as one could see flashlights moving around (poor lighting in there for some reason). I heard, "You have the right to remain silent" and saw that two people were handcuffed and arrested.

After that, the landlord came up and started yelling at his son and apparently lots of other people. People started filing out, maybe 10 or so.

We thought the son had been evicted but apparently the father made him move some of his crap off of the property. All night they were banging and stuff. The son collects junk cars like wrecked fart cans - Mitsubishis, Eclipses.

Luckily, we have some trees between us and them. Unfortunately, the trees are dying from something. We don't have them $$$$ of dollars it would take to put up a good fence.

I kind of thought maybe I should have called the father instead of the police. But I don't know why two people were arrested either. It could have been anything and they might have gotten violent with the father. Who knows?

 

[shesulsa]

I wouldn't feel bad about calling the police. Clearly something was going down that you don't need next door to you.

Is it possible to open up a good neighbor conversation with the father?

 

[Lynne]

I wouldn't feel bad about calling the police. Clearly something was going down that you don't need next door to you.

Is it possible to open up a good neighbor conversation with the father?

We've always had good relations with the father. My husband had spoken with the father about the young lady's boyfriend wandering onto our property. My husband was very nice about it and it was appreciated. Later, the father spoke to my husband and said he had spoken with the boyfriend. Apparently, the boyfriend had moved in without permission, etc, and was talked to about that as well as trespassing. So, we do feel comfortable approaching him if there is a problem. The father does have a temper though, so we are very careful.

We haven't complained about all the equipment (like bulldozers, old lawnmowers and such), empty trailers ands sheds, and trashed out cars on his property. We live in a rural area and if you can't see trash from the road, then you're ok. However, he's had as many as 15 vehicles in his front yard. One can see a lot of the crap from the road but we don't complain because he's a pretty nice guy. The rest of us have nice farmhouses and well-kept lawns and so forth. Our properties are not zoned for multiple family dwellings at a single address either. I believe he has four different families at that property. We let it go. The family has been here for a long time, too.

I don't know much about police procedure and don't know if they would have arrested someone for disorderly conduct (like yelling and cursing at a police officer) or if there were drugs involved. In this case, it may have been both.

None of the people living on that property are too swift. They just aren't very bright. The landlord's girlfriend told my daughter that she almost shot me twice while she was hunting. Number One, I was on my own property walking my dog so what the heck was she doing hunting on my property? And she almost mistook me for a deer TWICE? Needless to say, we don't go near the back of our property during hunting season.

The young lady that lives in the trailer with her parents (she's 17 with one child and has another on the way), had told my daughter she couldn't wait until my daughter was driving so she could driver her to her uncle's meth lab. She thought her uncle having a meth lab was sooo coooool.

The county we live in is widely agricultural. My husband is an engineer, works in a different county. Our county has the most meth labs of any county in NY state. In my naivete, I was surprised. It's such a quiet place - in many ways, the perfect place to raise children...as long as you manage to stay away from the redneck drug traffickers.

 

[Lynne]

New York sheriff vows crackdown on meth labs


The new New York sheriff of a rural upstate county said his department will make closing down clandestine drug labs a top priority.

Gary Howard is taking charge of the Tioga County, New York Sheriff's Department after working more than 25 years for the agency.

Over the past five years, about two-dozen meth labs in the county have been shut down by police. New York authorities said that's more than any other county in New York state.

Howard said despite the success in putting the operations out of business, the problem isn't going away.

The sheriff told a Binghamton radio station, WNBF that the growth of meth labs isn't "slowing down any" and is likely to increase.

Howard said his department is working with New York state police and federal Drug Enforcement Administration investigators in New York and Pennsylvania to coordinate efforts to deal with the meth production problem.

 

[shesulsa]

I think, being in the country, meth labs are probably less obvious. There are folks in Washington and Oregon who tan their own leather, create fiberglass forms, weld ... and any number of other things you need chemicals for. I think the smell mostly dissipates before reaching knowing noses and if it doesn't, no one really thinks anything about it.

Funny, isn't it? Some folks move TO the country to get away from problems, not realizing that living in the country has it's OWN problems. LOL!

Well, I'm glad you have a good relationship with the father. And it's really good of you to look the other way on the code violations - that could be an ace up your sleeve if played right.

I hope things look up for them and for you.

 

[jks9199]

I kind of thought maybe I should have called the father instead of the police. But I don't know why two people were arrested either. It could have been anything and they might have gotten violent with the father. Who knows?

You did the right thing. You didn't know if or when that fight would have escalated to violence, with someone getting hurt. YOU are not equiped nor authorized to intervene yourself, as a general rule. Call the cops, let them handle it. That's even what I tend to do at home; call the cops, let the guys and gals who are on the clock and have all their equipment with them take care of problems. The only general exception is if I believe that there's an immediate threat to life or limb if I do not intervene myself.

 

[Mimir]

I kind of thought maybe I should have called the father instead of the police. But I don't know why two people were arrested either. It could have been anything and they might have gotten violent with the father. Who knows?

That late at night and with it going on that long, the only way you were likely going to get some peace was to do what you did - call in the authorities. The fact that some of them were arrested only proves the point.

From reading this thread, I think you have handled the situation in the best manner you possibly could. I really hope that the situation calms down and that your neighbors clean up their collective acts.

 

[Lynne]

Thanks for the support everyone. I know I did the right thing. I know police dislike answering these kinds of calls because things can get out-of-hand fast.

It's none of my business, but the 17 year-old-girl, "J," is being dropped off by males near the home, but not in front of the home. I noticed this because I walk my dog at night. Once she was dropped off in front of our side yard and walked the rest of the way home. Another time she was dropped off at the high school which is about a quarter of a mile away. The other night, she was standing in a neighbor's driveway, in the dark, text messaging. It looked like she was waiting for someone to pick her up.

"J" had an infant at home and another on the way. Her parents were second shift, from 4:00 pm - 12:00 pm. I don't know if she is hooking or what. I wonder where the baby is when she leaves.

I do worry about the girl as she used to be a friend of my daughter's.

 

[Drac]

From what you've posted, it's unclear, but it's very possible that many laws may have been violated. At the very least, it appears that a 20 year old is engaging in sexual activity with a 16 year old -- and soliciting sexual acts from another child (at 17, your daughter is, in most states, still a minor). I suggest you contact your local police department or sheriff's office, and speak directly with a detective investigating such offenses.

He beat me to posting it..