How comfy do you feel talking to your teacher?

[Flying Crane]

I'm actually pretty lucky. I have a couple of teachers in different arts, who are very experienced and high level. I feel like it is pretty easy to talk to them about a lot of things related to martial arts, including the kind of stuff you mentioned in your first post.

We aren't on "buddy" terms and stuff, I don't hang around at their homes and stuff like that, but I feel they are both very open to discussing relevant topics.

 

[theletch1]

My instructor is one of my best friends and was the best man at my wedding. I guess that's pretty comfy. I think that being able to determine when to be chummy and when to be guarded is very important. On the mat I expect to be treated like every other student. He expects me to behave like any other student. Neither of us have been disappointed yet.

 

[searcher]

With me it depends on which instructor I am talking to and with one in particular, it depends on what mood he is in.

Most of the time we have open communication and some very deep discussions, but on occasion it is him just yapping. I want all of my students to be able to come to me at all times and discuss anything that they want. This became even more of a priority for me after my Wife and I missed the signals of one of our students that was being molested by her dad and two brothers. Looking back we see the signals and her desire to talk, butwe dropped the ball as instructorsand we will never allow it to happen again.

 

[qi-tah]

Wow, it's brilliant to hear so many different personal perspectives and stories.... thank you to all! :asian:

The "chain of command" concept i find interesting, if only for the ways it operates in an arena where rank is not emphisised. We don't wear our sashes to training and there is nothing to show who has passed what Dan exam etc, but it's still pretty clear that there is an unspoken pecking order in class. Actually, there is a woman in my class (a fairly new student) that really cuts across those unspoken lines and often kids around with our teacher, making cracks at something he's said etc. It's very gentle, good natured humour, the sort of fun you might poke at a mate, but the context is way off. I think it spins the whole class out a bit... it seems like no-one is quite sure how to take it. In a way it's quite refreshing.

 

[qi-tah]

With me it depends on which instructor I am talking to and with one in particular, it depends on what mood he is in.

Most of the time we have open communication and some very deep discussions, but on occasion it is him just yapping. I want all of my students to be able to come to me at all times and discuss anything that they want. This became even more of a priority for me after my Wife and I missed the signals of one of our students that was being molested by her dad and two brothers. Looking back we see the signals and her desire to talk, butwe dropped the ball as instructorsand we will never allow it to happen again.

Man, that's heavy. Mind you, with the benifit of hindsight a lot of stuff which didn't leap out at the time suddenly looks glaringly obvious. It's pretty hard to know what to look for at the time if you aren't fully switched on about the relevent issues. I hope there is a happy ending to her story btw.

 

[kidswarrior]

With me it depends on which instructor I am talking to and with one in particular, it depends on what mood he is in.

Most of the time we have open communication and some very deep discussions, but on occasion it is him just yapping. I want all of my students to be able to come to me at all times and discuss anything that they want. This became even more of a priority for me after my Wife and I missed the signals of one of our students that was being molested by her dad and two brothers. Looking back we see the signals and her desire to talk, butwe dropped the ball as instructorsand we will never allow it to happen again.

In fairness to yourselves, most of us just don't think in those terms, so don't look for it normally. Also, the signals can be very subtle. My day job involves a lot of this, and I've probably missed more than I've caught. So thanks for sharing so honestly. At least the student knew she could trust you, and that means other students know that, too.

 

[whitetiger2001]

Hi all;

I was thinking today about what a fantastic resource of martial arts info and opinion this site is, when i had the startling realisation that most of the questions i have about MA in general, i would feel nearly unable to talk to my teacher about... i would take them here or to other students instead. Is that weird? If i needed to get clarification/correction about a form or application, i can ask my teacher for that alright, but even then it'll only be after trying to nut it out for myself, maybe ask a few senior students etc. I guess it's my opinion that as the class head, his time is precious and i don't want to take up too much of it with stupid questions (you know, the ones you ask and halfway through asking it the answer suddenly becomes glaringly obvious

).

I guess my question(s) to you all is/are:

Do you feel comfy talking to yr teacher about stuff outside of the stuff you are training right now? Things like philosophy of the arts, personal stuff about yr training goals, general tips for training at home, feedback on how you are doing etc?

Would you consider it impertinant to ask your teacher (or have yr student ask you!) about thier own training regimen, how they structure it, what they find useful etc?

Do you reckon the role of the teacher should be neccacerily somewhat distant from her/his students? Or should it be a more informal r'ship? For the instructors among you, do you ever feel a little regretful if yr students take the respect to the point of timidity? Do you ever wonder about the questions that don't get asked?

Hope these questions aren't too dumb... :asian:

As a former instructor, I can tell you that it depends on the timing of the question. What I mean is this, some questions should be asked after or before class, such as personal training goals, questions about how your doing or questions concerning a previous lesson. But others such as a clarrifacation of the material that's bening worked during the class shouldn't because the answers, might benefit others in the class who have the same question.
Let me give you an example of what I mean when I say for the benefit of others. I used to have a hard time with one piece of lower rank material, the way the blocks and punches alternate in the pattern. I had a student who had the same trouble so he asked me for an easy way to remember it. It was that question that prompted me to consider the best way and when I found the answer for him, I found it for myself as well. His question helped not only him at the time but me and future students who would have to learn the same form because I introduced the answer before it became a question.
I never had a problem answering a student's questions because the only stupid question is the one that doesn't get asked. We're there for a reason, to help the students develop as martial artist, that's what we are trained to do.
Don't forget, your teacher was once a student and went through the same things you're going through and more than likely had many of the same questions.
As for the question of formality with the instructors, that's a matter of preference with the instructors or schools. We had an informal setting, a family setting even. Our students used our first names rather than a title unless you were a master and then the title was followed by a last name. We got invited to school plays, answered homework questions and even help with other problems because the students trusted us and I believe that was a sign of the stregnth of their respect for us. In a school where you see the students 3 or 4 times a week, especially the dojo rats who seem to spend all their time there, you can't help developing a bond with them. This might seem overly informal to many but our students and their parents realized that this had a positive impact.

I hope this answers your question

 

[charyuop]

Don't forget, your teacher was once a student and went through the same things you're going through and more than likely had many of the same questions.

No, my Sensei was never a student like me...as a matter of fact no one is a student like me. I cannot picture another student so slow learner like I am hahahahaha.