I think someone would have to teach me first.mj-hi-yah said:
This is a good point. Never though of it that way.mj-hi-yah said:
Oh sure, my boat's sinking and you just stole the bucket.:jaws:mj-hi-yah said:This is tricky and I don't envy you here! I wish you a good outcome!
mj-hi-yah said:I don't mean this next part as a criticism, just something to consider. Is winning important to you? As parents we are proud of our children when they find success in something. It's very normal to be excited for them. In fact it is difficult not to be excited and enthusiastic when they win or do well at something! How can you not?artyon: The thing to be aware of though is that each time this happens we project something about how we feel about winning and losing to our children. I ask because sometimes our children are seeking our approval in the things that they do. If your approval is important to him and he believes that winning is important to you (whether or not it is), he may be having a difficult time accepting anything less because in doing so he may feel (from his perspective) he is letting you down. If this is the case it will be magnified by the fact that you are in a duel role here.
I've never promoted that way of thinking. It has to be for fun. The day it's no longer fun, there's no point in continuing. I by nature am very competitive, but that doesn't mean I must win at all costs. It just means I'm going to give it my all. I think often people confuse the two.MJS said:
I know what you're saying, but this isn't like that. I've always insisted that my boys take some type of activity, but what activity it was has always been up to them. My middle son and I practiced TKD for years while the older one did other things. He never had an interest in TKD. Fine. The at a tournament a few years ago, he was amazed at what was going on and said "I gotta do this!". Though I told him once he started he would have to stay with it, sparring has always been optional. It has always been his choice. He's free to quit competing anytime he wants. I just don't want it to be for the wrong reasons. As far as classes go, I'm fortunate in that I don't have to drag any of them. We do it as a family and we all enjoy it.MJS said:
I agree, it takes a load off and though no one wants to loose, if handled correctly can be viewed as an opportunity to improve. It's far from the end of the world. He knows this. He's lost before, but he's never been "beaten". He was soundly beaten. The question is, what will he do with his new knowledge. I've seen kids leave and never come back. In my mind, it's not the kid's fault. It's the fault of the mentor. My whole reason for starting this thread was to avoid this happening to him. He may be just fine and I may be over reacting. Or maybe not. I'm the type that would rather stack the deck than roll the dice.arnisador said:
:asian:...................... that will only last for one more week...Gemini said:
I agree I was thinking about checking a couple of these out for my kids.
It's evident you are not that kind of a parent, and I think you are seeing the most important angle to examine this from... through your child's eyes. OK now no more metacognating (thinking about thinking) it's not healthy...I l:inlove:ve Tigger!For the record, I mentioned it above, but I never condem the performance of my kids. In every sport we go to, there are parents/coaches that act that way, and quite frankly, they disgust me. I'm analitical, not emotional. I do critique, but I am not critical. There's a big difference. So this has me thinking now. I know I'm that way, but because I can't see myself through there eyes, I have to ask, do THEY see me that way. Hmmmm. I think I think too much. Maybe they'll having something for psychotic father coaches.
In my next life I'm gonna come back as Tigger...
mj-hi-yah said:
Hey, a new word! A big 'un too! I knew there was a good reason to wake up this morning. :wink2: It hurts my 'lil blonde head just trying to say it.mj-hi-yah said:
Excellent! My new home! Somewhere down the road when you have an orange and white thing bouncing on your front door and the kids go "Mommy, mommy, can we keep it?" You'll say "Sure. We can name it Gemini."mj-hi-yah said:
7 day rule... LOLGemini said:[/size]
*gulp* You're REALLY not gonna let this go, are ya? I forgot the secret of the universe. Women never let ANYTHING go. :shrug: So I'll tell ya what. For your own protection, I'm going to envoke the "7 day rule" and let you off the hook. No, no. It's okay. Don't thank me. :ultracool
Hey, a new word! A big 'un too! I knew there was a good reason to wake up this morning. :wink2: It hurts my 'lil blonde head just trying to say it.
Excellent! My new home! Somewhere down the road when you have an orange and white thing bouncing on your front door and the kids go "Mommy, mommy, can we keep it?" You'll say "Sure. We can name it Gemini."
*note* Tigger's are particlarly fond on Swedish meatballs, should the need to know ever arise.
I won't even pee on the rug.............much
let us know... if you get to read any of those parenting books how they are...I really am interested.
mj-hi-yah said:
I most definately will and thanks again for the link. I'm probably gonna pick it up on CD. If it's any good, I'll send it to ya. :cheers:mj-hi-yah said:Hey Gemini...
LOL and thanks! :ultracoolGemini said:
Tigger has announced he's just become a vegetarian and will live as far away from LI as possible....Loves Tigger my :moon: ...Loves Tigger for dinner more like.
I most definately will and thanks again for the link. I'm probably gonna pick it up on CD. If it's any good, I'll send it to ya. :cheers:
Gemini said:
mj-hi-yah said:
