Getting back in the saddle

[Gemini]

Well, Sunday is the big day and I think we're ready. I got him the new style hogu, which is much stronger than his old one. His light hearted demeanor has returned and his bruises have healed. He seems to be confident and ready, but as the time draws closer, we'll see if that changes and address it if it does. He got sat down twice this week in practice for lack of effort, but that was more due to Sabumnim making him raise his level of focus than him actually doing anything wrong. It worked.

It hasn't been determined yet if I'll coach him or Sabumnim will do it. If it's me, I've spent the week mentally preparing myself for whichever way it will go. If not, I'll still be right next to the coaches chair in plain view. We both recognize this as a cross roads for him and are taking it a good bit more seriously than a typical match. Sabumnim lost a very dedicated student once, which he faults himself for and took it very badly. A mistake he does not intend to repeat. Especially with this one. The level of dedication he displays in rare in someone his age. Coincidentally the same age as the one he lost? I think not. He views himself as the ultimate authority when it comes to such issues. Even above the parents because it's his "turf". Something that at times bothers me, I somehow find oddly comforting. He's very protective of his flock.

We finally watched the tape so he could see for himself that he didn't do badly at all. Though his opponent kept taunting him and throwing faints, my son's face at no time showed any fear. If anything, he had "you ain't **** expression, so even though he was (in retrospect) scared to death, he never gave it away. Another thing I felt he should acknowledge as a positive. Hell, he even had me fooled until the end of the round. During sparring this week, I focused more on this aspect with the rest of the students instead of just working on preparing them physically.

We'll see Sunday.......

 

[Lisa]

Well? How did things go?

 

[Gemini]

Well? How did things go?

It went well, thank you. Mike won both his matches, but more importantly, did it with his old conviction and confidence. I think he'll be fine. He'll be getting his black belt soon, and next spring will be facing much tougher opponents. I'm hoping that we can now look at last week as a necessary learning experience and train accordingly. Oh and yes, I did coach him. Sabumnim watched from a corner. He never did even try to take the coaches seat, which is the norm if he's available.

We had another student who also took a beating in the spring, but being a little older, moved up to the adult sparring where I was able to work with him one on one. He lost the match but went at his opponent like an animal. Again, the outcome wasn't the target, his being able to overcome the doubt in himself, was. He definately succeeded.

I had one more competitor go in and face the demon. The match was pretty even, but he took a hard shot in the side which doubled him over. They stopped the match to see if he could continue. He was on the fence and I was sure I could get him back in the match. Then his father came up and told him "there's no shame in quitting". He kept repeating it. The kid quit. I doubt he'll ever enter a competition again. If he does, I won't coach him. I refuse to play tug-o-war with a parent over a student.

 

[arnisador]

Good news about Mike. It's a shame about the student whose father encouraged him to quit though. I know what you mean about now wanting to get between the kid and the parent, or have the kid between you and the parent.

 

[Gemini]

Good news about Mike. It's a shame about the student whose father encouraged him to quit though. I know what you mean about now wanting to get between the kid and the parent, or have the kid between you and the parent.

And I can also appreciate what the father was feeling. Not so different than me in my earlier posts. I guess we just have different method's of protecting our kids. To me, sometimes protecting them means teaching them/allowing them to learn to protect themselves. I know it can be hard. It's hard for me too. But it's necessary.

 

[arnisador]

I teach my son, but I also take him to a martial arts school for instruction. He enjoys the father-son time (as do I!), but I feel he also needs instruction from an impartial source.

 

[Gemini]

I teach my son, but I also take him to a martial arts school for instruction. He enjoys the father-son time (as do I!), but I feel he also needs instruction from an impartial source.

I couldn't agree more. But there can only be one authority. Even when Sabumnim is teaching and I'm assisting in the class, He has the ultimate authority, not me. They used to constantly look over to me when they got in trouble, 'til they learned I would never overrule my senior. As with any other parent, the minute you do that, you need to train somewhere else. You are that authority outside the school. Inside the school, Sabumnim is. There are no exceptions.

 

[FearlessFreep]

Good to hear!

 

[Lisa]

Excellent news Gemini. Pat yourself on the back a little, obviously you are doing something right.

 

[Gemini]

Excellent news Gemini. Pat yourself on the back a little, obviously you are doing something right.

Or at least this once I can say I didn't do something wrong. :uhyeah:

thanks, all!

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Whoooot Whoooot!!! Good to see! artyon:

 

[Jonathan Randall]

Everyone who competes on a regular basis will sooner or later run into an opponent who is far superior than themselves. I have seen competitors who have folded under the load and never returned, and others who are able to pick themselves up, brush themselves off and return. My question is, what have any of you found that works to help someone get past such a bad experience and go on or worked to get yourself back on track. I know there is no "One size fits all" solution and I'm looking for options. I had one such student at a competition yesterday and I have one week to do the right thing.

You're already on the right track. My sport TKD instructor turned his back and walked away when it became obvious that I would lose my sparring match at a regional tournament. Not doing what he did is half the battle.

My advice is to tell your student that he/she has your support and that they WILL become that competitor - if they persevere. You cannot sharpen a knife with cotton. This was a tremendous learning experience.

 

[Jonathan Randall]

And I can also appreciate what the father was feeling. Not so different than me in my earlier posts. I guess we just have different method's of protecting our kids. To me, sometimes protecting them means teaching them/allowing them to learn to protect themselves. I know it can be hard. It's hard for me too. But it's necessary.

I think it's a case where you were both right. It's also possible that the father was trying to protect the relationship with his kid, rather than simply his kid's safety.

Good for you. You sound like a great coach and father.

 

[bignick]

To give the thread a little gank here, aside from competition it's hard just to get back in the groove when you've been waylaid for any reason...

I hurt my knee this summer and was unable to perform at a decent level for quite a while....I lost of a lot of flexibility, gained weight, and got really pissed off...also, I haven't missed a class since I started....period..and not being able to really participate was the most frustrating thing in the world. I was never great...but I was good if I do say so myself ( and I do) and actually felt a lot like it would probably feel if the average person ended up in a wheelchair for a couple weeks....not being able to do what they take for granted and wanting all the time to just jump out and start walking, even though you might hurt yourself worse....

Well, in the last month or so I'm really starting to get my step back, kicks are coming fast and hard, still going a little easy on the knee some nights, better safe than sorry...gonna institute a stretching plan to get the flexibility back. But I think the signal that finally let me know I was back was last night. We were working some fun kicking drills, (because nobody showed up to class) and we showed some of the lower ranks a double front kick...where you jump up and kick out with both feet at the same time.....

This was a required break for me at brown belt, and one of my required breaks for black belt as well....and I hadn't trusted my knee enough to do it for quite a while....and I was just nailing it last night, it was great....finally, I decided to push the limit a little bit...my required break for 2nd dan is a double front kick and punch, all in the air...so I grabbed some boards and holders after class and gave it a shot....shattered them all the first try...

The moral of the story, even when your at that point where it's easiest just to quit, never give up...sentimental and cliche? yes....True? No doubt...

If you keep working and showing up, you will continue to improve, even though it may only be in limited areas....giving up won't get you anywhere...