Funny fight stories

[Headhunter]

Well, WAY is when the quality started to get at least a little better. Some of the fights in his first two movies were just plain goofy, like the scene in CHINESE CONNECTION/FIST OF FURY where he grabs two guys and then spins around with them. LOL Than again, that movie DID also have a pretty good fight scene with that Russian guy.

Tbh I thought way was his worst movie actual movie wise I.e script and acting wise it's the one I genuinely can't watch plot wise and just skip to the fights when I watch it. I'll say 1 thing the Norris fight and the 2 before with bob wall and Korean were very realistic and didnt have ott stuff at all. Yeah the Russian fight in fist of fury was good and the best of the movie. I've never actually seen big boss. I've seen clips of the fights in it and that movie seems a lot more bloody than his others.

Enter the dragon was very good but I wish jim Kelly had survived and John Saxon character died since Saxon was garbage as a martial artist and it showed badly and wish lee had fought bolo that would've been cooler. It's a shame we didn't get to see him work with better people to make better movies

 

[Buka]

Funniest experience I had (well it was funny to me at the time) was when someone who was about 180cm tried to intimidate me with his size, but had no actual physical skills to progress once that tactic failed.

I'm only 162cms, and so this bigger guy gets in my face and leans over me. As I said, he tried to intimidate me with his size. I stepped back, and put up my "fence" at the same time telling him he didn't need to get that close to talk to me. Keeping my fence up meant he couldnt get in my face again, and as I remained calm and composed the outcome he had intended (me being intimidated and submitting) was not forthcoming.

Normally what I would have expected to follow next would be him moving onto physical violence. However, as we were stood there "chatting" ;-) I realised that he didn't know what to do next, as he didn't have any physical skills. I could see the look of confusion on his face, he had never been in this situation before. Clearly he only ever tried this with much smaller people (like me) and had had a 100% success rate in the past.

Now it wasn't working he didn't know what to do next. I could almost see the cogs turning as he realised he didn't know what to do. I found it funny to the point that I started to struggle to keep a straight face as I watched the poor man struggle.

In the end I gave him a way out and the arguement ended.

I admit, not very funny to anyone else maybe, but to me, at the time, the look on his face was priceless. He could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk and once he came across someone who knew how to deal with his tactics, and who wasn't intimidated, he came unstuck.

You know what's great about that story, Paul? Where you said - "In the end I gave him a way out and the arguement ended."

People need to learn how to do that. Give a guy a way out, let him save face. Especially when he's with friends. It's such an important, and oft overlooked, aspect of self defense.

 

[Paul_D]

You know what's great about that story, Paul? Where you said - "In the end I gave him a way out and the arguement ended."

People need to learn how to do that. Give a guy a way out, let him save face. Especially when he's with friends. It's such an important, and oft overlooked, aspect of self defense.

Credit where credit is due, I learnt that one from Geoff Thompson, either Dead or Alive: The Definituve Self Protection Handbook, or Watch My Back. Can't remember which.

 

[Headhunter]

Okay then I'll share a story I just remembered I was having a boxing match with a guy who I was friends with. It was a proper amateur fight with a crowd, ref etc. and we'd been doing a lot of kickboxing before the fight but we took the boxing match as that's what the promoter wanted. So anyway first round we were fighting and i was so used to kickboxing at the time I simply by instint threw a side kick to his ribs. I got a bollocking off the ref but my friend just laughed and we touched gloves and carried on. Anyway next round were going and out of no where he threw a front kick to the face which knocked me down. He got even more of a bollocking off the ref. I was fine it was a flash knockdown I just got up and laughed as well and was just like touché fair enough. He lost a point though and I won a decision. After the fight me and him were hanging out and the promoter came over and said you bastards keep your feet on the ground next time all in a joking manner. Good times lol

 

[kuniggety]

I'd say the most amusing thing I've seen in person, I was personally apart of. There was 3 of us white belts getting our blue belts in BJJ (and one purple). We had all already rolled for 90 min straight. There was no lesson... it was us against each of the whites, then blues, and then the couple purples. At that point I was just getting tapped left and right. Then the instructor decides to one by one do the last roll with each of us and make us his little bitches by getting all of us to tap by exerting enough force from knee on belly. I'm a dude so I'll never know what being in labor feels like, but my guess it would be somewhere around a black belt crushing you for three minutes in knee on belly. I'm proud to say I'm the only one that didn't tap before the time ran down. Although I would've endured less pain if I would've just tapped... so does that just make me an idiot?

 

[stingrae]

I'd say the most amusing thing I've seen in person, I was personally apart of. There was 3 of us white belts getting our blue belts in BJJ (and one purple). We had all already rolled for 90 min straight. There was no lesson... it was us against each of the whites, then blues, and then the couple purples. At that point I was just getting tapped left and right. Then the instructor decides to one by one do the last roll with each of us and make us his little bitches by getting all of us to tap by exerting enough force from knee on belly. I'm a dude so I'll never know what being in labor feels like, but my guess it would be somewhere around a black belt crushing you for three minutes in knee on belly. I'm proud to say I'm the only one that didn't tap before the time ran down. Although I would've endured less pain if I would've just tapped... so does that just make me an idiot?

I've suffered that pain. I was joking around with an instructor before practice and when he went in for an actual throw, I sat down. Bad idea. He pinned me, planted his knee on my belly, held the back of my knee/scruff of my neck and pulled.

He did the same thing when I got behind him and tried to choke him. Caught my wrist, put me in a lock and told me to apologize (I did, let's pretend it wasn't from the "black belt voice" while he was towering over me with a "mistakes were made" look), and started walking me in said lock to the mats to throw me.

I wasn't looking forward to the throw and sat down. He turned around, put his knee on my belly, grabbed the back of my knee and scruff (we weren't in gis so he was holding my sweatshirt hood) and I was folded in half for a good while before he thought I learned my lesson.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

A few weeks ago our second-in-command (assistant?) coach was running class and before we start randori "reminds" us that, hey, it's practice, we can get away with a little more than if we were in a tournament and to use what we can to our advantage. Nothing dangerous, of course, but we didn't have any more tournaments this semester and it was meant to be a fun practice, a reprieve from our usual grueling routine.

I go and fight another coach and, during the groundwork, my belt comes off. Instead of pausing I grab it and try to wrap his legs together to give me a distraction to choke him. Sly guy takes my belt from me, gets me on my stomach, and decides to "arrest" me.

You know the saying "I can fight you with one hand tied behind my back"? No, no you can't. Especially not 2!

Anyone got any funny randori stories from their dojo?

My last two students to receive their yellow belts received them as a surprise strangle simulation in the middle of a "new technique I need to show you".

 

[Gerry Seymour]

No, he's a power lifter. So, picture pacts like dinner plates and shoulders like bowling balls. And his thighs are literally as thick as my waist.

Yeah, I don't think my weak-*** ground game would be of much use against him.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Don't know if you're joking but if not that's a pretty silly thing to say...you're in college so what? Not everyone gets in fights in college. You should be proud you've never got in a fight. It's not weakness that fact makes you stronger.

Agreed. Most of my friends in college got into fights. I didn't. I'd hear them talking about the party and the fight, and remember a fight broke out there last year, and that's why I didn't go this year.

 

[stingrae]

My last two students to receive their yellow belts received them as a surprise strangle simulation in the middle of a "new technique I need to show you".

That would be the "something disguised as a new move that needs to be shown" syndrome.

I didn't know that could be a good thing, I've only suffered from that. Got a little too mouthy, needed some humbling. Instructor launched into detail about a throw, made it sound painful. Finished explaining, looked at me: "(Name)."

I made sure to slap hard.

 

[Steve]

Yeah, I don't think my weak-*** ground game would be of much use against him.

Mine either. He's a different breed. Nice guy, but just casually violent. He's the guy that taught me "knee on face."

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Mine either. He's a different breed. Nice guy, but just casually violent. He's the guy that taught me "knee on face."

If your ground game won't handle him, Steve, I don't have a prayer. The best part of my ground game is patience and relaxation. I'm not sure those - absent an array of ground techniques to back them - would be of much use.

 

[stingrae]

If your ground game won't handle him, Steve, I don't have a prayer. The best part of my ground game is patience and relaxation. I'm not sure those - absent an array of ground techniques to back them - would be of much use.

If you guys can't handle him, I'd be done for.

 

[kuniggety]

I've suffered that pain. I was joking around with an instructor before practice and when he went in for an actual throw, I sat down. Bad idea. He pinned me, planted his knee on my belly, held the back of my knee/scruff of my neck and pulled.

He did the same thing when I got behind him and tried to choke him. Caught my wrist, put me in a lock and told me to apologize (I did, let's pretend it wasn't from the "black belt voice" while he was towering over me with a "mistakes were made" look), and started walking me in said lock to the mats to throw me.

I wasn't looking forward to the throw and sat down. He turned around, put his knee on my belly, grabbed the back of my knee and scruff (we weren't in gis so he was holding my sweatshirt hood) and I was folded in half for a good while before he thought I learned my lesson.

I'm a big fan of knee on belly... being a bit on the larger side myself: 6' 1" 200 lbs. The women look like they're in a Lamaze class when I pull it. There's something about black belts though... a 200 lbs guy suddenly feels like he's a 600 lbs gorilla.

 

[stingrae]

I'm a big fan of knee on belly... being a bit on the larger side myself: 6' 1" 200 lbs. The women look like they're in a Lamaze class when I pull it. There's something about black belts though... a 200 lbs guy suddenly feels like he's a 600 lbs gorilla.

Exactly! I guess the black belt adds 400 lbs. Or maybe that's experience...

And you USE it? You, sir, are cruel.

 

[kuniggety]

Exactly! I guess the black belt adds 400 lbs. Or maybe that's experience...

And you USE it? You, sir, are cruel.

Hey, they signed up to roll with me. I like knee on belly as there are different ways to ride a person which sets up different submissions or transitions back to side control (where I usually pop into it from) or mount.

 

[stingrae]

Hey, they signed up to roll with me. I like knee on belly as there are different ways to ride a person which sets up different submissions or transitions back to side control (where I usually pop into it from) or mount.

You don't need to transition to anything from knee on belly. That's a submission all by itself!

Especially when you're trying to smoke less and let slip you had a few before practice. "You still smokin'?" as the knee goes deeper and somehow becomes heavier. Ugh, the stuff of nightmares.

 

[kuniggety]

You don't need to transition to anything from knee on belly. That's a submission all by itself!

Especially when you're trying to smoke less and let slip you had a few before practice. "You still smokin'?" as the knee goes deeper and somehow becomes heavier. Ugh, the stuff of nightmares.

Sure, but I usually don't intentionally try to tap people smaller than me with it. I know the option is there but I want to train myself as if I can't do it, i.e. It's a person that's either a: not going to tap due to some uncomfortable pressure (and possible bruising afterwards) or b: is just too big and tough to reasonably hurt that way. My favorite submission is to bring the leg up to knee on chest with the knee down in their far armpit and my foot hooking down in the closer armpit. I then will try to either a: one arm armbar the closer arm or get a good deep collar grip before sliding into high mount.

 

[Buka]

Sounds like when Sho 'Nuff and his gang stormed the theater, challenging anyone who thought they could beat "The Master." Only you guys beat them down. How would you have fared against Mr. 'Nuff and his gang, I wonder?

But in all seriousness, talk about messing with the wrong crowd. Do you think they look back at it and laugh too?

The Last Dragon - Several years before it opened, when they were having readings for that movie, Billy Blanks had a copy of the second draft of that script. They wanted him to read for Sho-Nuff part.

So....a whole gang of us, his students and mine, went to a local movie theatre run by a friend of mine, and acted out that scene, and a good part of the third act as well. I remember thinking, "Oh, my God, this is so fricken' awful, this will never be a movie". (again, can I call em' or what?)

I really enjoyed the film, it was fun. What was strange when I first saw it in the theatre - I knew every line that was coming.
And if you ever see it again, and look closely, you'll see that William H Macy and Chazz Palminteri also appear in it.

 

[hoshin1600]

my little story will never compare to rolling in dog crap....some bars are just to high to reach.
it was my Uechi black belt test. there were a few of us from my dojo going up. we had to travel to another state to test under a testing board. my dojo never wore protective equipment other than a GI and and a cup. but for some reason we were required to wear head gear, gloves, and a chest protector. we were full grown adults. i felt it was ridiculous but you got to do what the testing board and school owner wants. they randomly paired people up for the sparring, and by chance i was paired with my dojo buddy Sean. now at home we were used to going at about 70 % power and speed. so that is how we started. the Ref/ testing senior was a women mid 40's (nothing against women or anyone in their mid forties, it just makes a better story to have that image) however she had a reputation for being a bit soft in teaching. so me and Sean start sparring making contact ,,,cuz..... we got the gear on,,, and we are used to going at each other at 70% anyway.. the Ref stops us and says " light contact" we start again this time Sean really wacks me good so of course i come back at him harder. Ref stops us again " i said light contact" this happend a few more times and each time me and Sean crank it up,, we ended up looking like an epic Wanderlei Silva battle standing there toe to toe trading, rocking full bore thowing everything......................She stops us screaming like a Nun teacher yelling at her class " stop it! stop it! i said light contact ...this is not rockem sockem robots ,,,taking each others heads off . go take you gear off and go sit down" so me and Sean walk off sweating and he says to me ....oh she said light contact? i thought she kept saying MORE contact. our teacher was on the side lines laughing his butt off. so our sparring bout "the rockem sockem robots" was a testing legend retold for many years.