Friend Challenge

[dosk3n]

Well I was out in town at the weekend with some friends and the conversation turned to MA. Now one of my firends who I have known for about 4 years told me that he used to do kick boxing when he was younger and wants to challenge me to see how he fairs up against Wing Chun.
I have never heard him mention doing any sort of art before so it may have been just words from the alcohol but I have accepted his challenge under the condition he wears body protection and face guard etc.

My question is has any of your friends challenged you and what was your response? or what would your response be if this was asked of you?

 

[seasoned]

Friends don't challenge friends. If it is pushed, then there is no true friendship there. Respect bestows respect, if need be find new friends. If you value the friendship, then draw a by, and give it a pass. The better we are, the less we should have to prove it, to anybody.

 

[dosk3n]

See I wouldnt agree. I would have if the challenge was in a negatave atmosphere or was done with intent to hurt but if he wants to spar with me having what I beleive is no prior experience then I still look at it as training if it is friendly. He doesnt want to hurt me and I think he is just curious of my art and wants to experience. I could see it in the same light as puppies play fighting

If he had pushed me and pushed me actually saying he wants to fight and tried to force me to fight him there and then I wouldnt see him as my friend. He didnt force at all I happily agreed as it was asked to be done at time in the future.

 

[MJS]

Well I was out in town at the weekend with some friends and the conversation turned to MA. Now one of my firends who I have known for about 4 years told me that he used to do kick boxing when he was younger and wants to challenge me to see how he fairs up against Wing Chun.
I have never heard him mention doing any sort of art before so it may have been just words from the alcohol but I have accepted his challenge under the condition he wears body protection and face guard etc.

My question is has any of your friends challenged you and what was your response? or what would your response be if this was asked of you?

This is probably the #1 reason why I try to be careful who I talk to about my training. The less people know, the better, IMO. Why? Because of the very things that you said in your post. In no way am I ashamed of training, but its the following that drive me nuts:

Is Kenpo like (insert any other art here)?
The Bruce Lee imitations.
Asked if I can do what you see (insert any famous martial artist here) do?
Asked if I could beat them in a fight.

Thats just a small example. Usually when I'm asked by a non MA friend, if I could beat them in a fight, I usually say, "No, you'd probably kick my ***." and then I change the conversation. That usually is enough, as the look on their face is one of being shocked, because they were intending to hear me say something else.

I have no problems with talking about the arts to anyone...as long as they're serious about the discussion. Problem is, is that the majority of people, are clueless when it comes to the arts, thus the reason why they see something and assume its all the same. I've had many in-depth chats with people, and have given small demos of the arts I do, and the differences between what I do and some of the other arts out there.

Whats really funny is the number of UFC fans that I work with. Many nights at work, we'll turn on Spike, TUF, UFC Unleashed, WEC, etc, and watch it. Interestingly enough, I never hear any of the above mentioned comments when that stuff is on. Go figure. LOL.

 

[seasoned]

Well I was out in town at the weekend with some friends and the conversation turned to MA. Now one of my firends who I have known for about 4 years told me that he used to do kick boxing when he was younger and wants to challenge me to see how he fairs up against Wing Chun.
I have never heard him mention doing any sort of art before so it may have been just words from the alcohol but I have accepted his challenge under the condition he wears body protection and face guard etc.

My question is has any of your friends challenged you and what was your response? or what would your response be if this was asked of you?

I base my response to your words above. I have been there and done that, and in many cases no good will come of it. You know your friends, and I don't, but I am familiar with the scenario you present. :asian:

 

[Gordon Nore]

I would be more responsive to a friend asking if we could work out together and swap techniques. Then it's a friendly collaboration.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Be humble....Accidents can happen...and someone may get hurt...too!

Proving your skills in MA...is just showing off....No matter the art you take...

Every art... if one trains very hard...will benifit you...

Each art has a specfic fighting styles...base on histories...

Today the art of throwing stones...NO longer practice...Guns do a better job...

Aloha, ...still learning could be in the STONE age...? ..UM ..stones use for fishing weights...looking for heavy kines?

 

[Nolerama]

I would be more responsive to a friend asking if we could work out together and swap techniques. Then it's a friendly collaboration.

I fully agree. I HAD some friends who would pick a fight, and expect me to jump in and save their butts. But those friends are no longer in my life.

Honestly, the only friends I would spar with are my friends in the gym and the new friends I make when I travel to another gym.

When people ask me if I'm into the MAs I just nod and shrug my shoulders; maybe change the subject. But I don't flaunt it outside of inviting interested parties to work out.

If your friend really wants to spar, have him train with you for a bit to see what his contact level is like.

 

[wushuguy]

letting people know you do X martial art is looking for trouble. some people may challenge or other just make irresponsible comments. But like is said, if the challenge is a friendly one, just take it like a tennis match. hope both of you guys don't take it too serious if it happens. otherwise, canceling the challenge should be ok. if he is pressing too much for a fight, it may be he has some other issues to work out.

from my experience, friends in martial arts, regardless of style, have beneficial encounters, meaning sparring or "challenges" are for the purpose of both getting better, there's no titled winner or loser, however it will probably be clear which one has better skill.

 

[ATC]

I have a friend that I grew up with (been friends since age 5). He never challenged me but one day he did want to know how hard I punched. He is a big guy (amateur body builder). He told me to punch him in the gut (stomach). He use some pillows to soften the blow. I hit him with a short compact hook to the solar plexus and he dropped like a rock. Made a funny grunt noise too as he was falling to his knees.

That is the closest any friend has come to an outright challenge.

 

[tshadowchaser]

a challange by anyone friend or not is a challange.
Friendly practice is a different thing

Yes, I have been challanged before. Yes I did accept three of them. No two of those people are no longer friends.
The third person was not a friend to begin with but a member of a local gang in So. Calif. He did know who I was and we did have some friends in commen. His uncle steped in and prevented any action by either of us. Yes we are still friends as this encounter led to us talking and partying togeather.

Challanges are foolish and childish
stay away from them

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Yes you are just wasting your time. If he is interested in training with you then by all means go down that road. Otherwise laugh it off and continue to train but forget the challenge.

 

[Sukerkin]

I would be more responsive to a friend asking if we could work out together and swap techniques. Then it's a friendly collaboration.

Which is just the sort of thing that occurred with a friend of mine who is a fencing instructor. A collaborative investigation to see what techniques would be effective in a foil vs katana duel .

 

[IcemanSK]

You mentioned that alcohol was involved in the discussion. Do you think might have played a factor in his challenge &/or your acceptance? Things we wouldn't say or do sober we might say or do when we've had a few.

I used to train with my a number of my buddies, but I never took any challenge seriously from any friend who didn't train. It tends to change friendship for the worse. IMO

I hope you & your friend get past this event without anyone getting hurt.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

I have not been challenged by a mate but my apprentice (3rd dan tkd) was repeatedly challenged by one of my other employees (muay thai) until one day we all got sick of the repeated challenges and we swept out a large room at work and told them to go for it. As the employer I should not have encouraged it but it was out of work hours and I thought it would be good to watch. The 2 guys involved are good mates so there was no malice involved and it got the idea out of their system once and for all.

 

[grydth]

dosk3n, consider:

You may lose the fight. You may lose the friend. You may lose both.

There is nothing to gain.

Walk away.

 

[dosk3n]

You mentioned that alcohol was involved in the discussion. Do you think might have played a factor in his challenge &/or your acceptance? Things we wouldn't say or do sober we might say or do when we've had a few.

I used to train with my a number of my buddies, but I never took any challenge seriously from any friend who didn't train. It tends to change friendship for the worse. IMO

I hope you & your friend get past this event without anyone getting hurt.

It played a factor in him asking but I dont drink (well i dont drink more than allowed as i usually drive) and light heartedly accepted without that influence.

Im liking the replies I am getting here. First thread and it wasnt ignored

It doesnt look like it will be happening now any way as he has stopped mentioning it now.

Would still like to hear other people experiences.

 

[Bruno@MT]

When I was still practising western JJ, I had a friend that kept trying to hold me so that I couldn't get away. This was a playful thing between us, no bad atmosphere
(18 year old kids). We used to wrestle as kids, but eventually I never did anything beyond escaping from every hold he tried. The reason I never did anything more than that is that it would be too easy to hurt. Additionally, I didn't want confidence to be mistaken for arrogance.

I have been jumped twice by people who knew me and thought it would be fun to see my reaction. The first one did this at an ATM, and got real lucky that he immediately jumped backwards. With the other guy I recognized him and pulled my backhand swing in time not to KO him. Neither incident amused me.

People near me know I practise MA, but most think I practise only jujutsu (that is my standard answer), I never mention ninpo or ninjutsu at all. Most don't know anything about it or have wild misconceptions.