Fat

[shihansmurf]

Before I begin this post, I am going to offer a blanket apology to anyone that I offend by what I am about to type. This isn't aimed at anyone in particular but the fat issue tends to rile people and I've got a really unpopular view.

Sorry.


Now here goes...

Being fat is a sign of mental weakness. Our appetites for food, drink, and leisure are what determines if we are fat. Indiscipline in these areas manifests itself in the form of obesity. Laziness in reference to conditioning and fitness are not virtues to be courted and neither is the resultant blubber.

Wow, I'm a jerk!

Now, I understand that most people reading this are formulating the counter positions of glandular condition, genetic predisposition, ethnic back ground, and varied assorted rationalizations as to why they can't control their actions in reference to their eating and exercise habits. Its all a load of BS. Work hard, eat right, and have a bit of self respect and the results are astounding.

Look, 14 months ago I weighed 235 pounds, at 5'8". It was disgusting. Oh, I was still able to pass the physical fitness test (APFT)in the Army. I could still pass the body fat percentage since I had a thick neck, but I looked like crap. I didn't do PT well. It was embarrassing.

Then my karate instructor called me up to inform me that I would be grading to godan in April of 2009. Cool, I thought. This would be a cinch. I hate to grade but no worries.

Then I started training. The weight was killing me. It was like trying to perform kata with a rucksack on. All of my movements were like I was in slow motion. My cardio was appalling. I couldn't even perform all 26 shotokan kata in a row due to fatigue. Note that I don't mean that I couldn't do those 26 kata sequentially several times though each after performing a bunch of reps of kihon. I ment that I couldn't do the 26, once.

This was bad.

Then I took a trip home to attend my most senior students grading to sandan. Now, in order to be eligeble to grade to godan, I had to produce a student that could pass a sandan exam in front of a board that I coulnd't sit. It was a good test. I was allowed to assist, in the form of sparring with Matt. I had trouble keeping up. Skill wasn't an issue. Conditioning was. See, he hadn't packed on the equivilant of a third grader whereas I had.

Well, he passed.

A couple of weeks later, he sent me the pictures of his promotion. I was shocked. Seeing exactly how disgustlingly huge I had became was the straw that broke the camels back. The picture is awfull. I was repellant.

I didn't want to step up to a godan grading in the kind of terrible shape that I had allowed myself to get into. I absolutely didn't want to be one of those guys that couldn't see their belt knots past their fat tub of lard guts.

So, I decided to make conditioning a priority.

I learned about nutrition. I began the SlimFast shakes for breakfast, since I hadn't been eating in the mornings. I weaned myself off of regular soda and now only drink diet. Eventually, I'll give those up as well. I learned about basal metebolic rate and adjusted my caloric intake accordingly. I started eating healthily. I stopped the grazing. I've cutout junk food(except for a cheat day about once every three weeks to a month), and my portion sizes are down to what a person actualy needs to eat as opposed to the absurd overindulgences that we cram into our faces at most meals.

Then, I put together a workout plan that I thought would kill me. I lift weights three days a week. I lift to absolute exhaustion in my entire body.
I do Army PT 3 days a week at this duty station, which consists of a few push ups and a few sit ups and lots of cardio. I hit the gym the other three mornings(I go in on Saturday specificaly to hit the gym) for an hour on the tread mill. I do karate 3 times a week.
12 work outs a week. It sucks, but its worked.

I weighed this morining, 04 June 09, 178 pounds.

I've lost 11% body fat, and 57 pounds in the last fourteen months.

I was able to accomplish this because I accepted responsibility for the fact the the reason that I was out of shape was because I was a lazy and gluttonous drunkard.Sometime it sucks to take stock of yourself. The talley sheet comes out in the red on occasion. Now I have a pin in my right knee. I could have used that as an excuse to avoid putting in the training. Hell, I did. At the end of the day, I was tired of being fat. So I took the steps to fix it. I made the mess, I cleaned it up.I'm glad I did.

My senior student, probably not so much when we sparred the next time....

This is why I get bent out of shape when I hear the excuses from fat people about why they are fat. I know why they are fat. They're fat for the same reasons I was. They'll stay that way untill they decide to quite rationalizing the grossly self-destructive behaviors that manifest themselves as rolls of lard.

Every aspect of my performance as a martial artist has improved with the weight loss and the resultant increase in physical fitness. I'm stronger(I was strong before, my bench is still at 275), but I am much faster. My cardio is insanely better. I feel better, I look much better. Hell, I can see my belt knot when I look down.

Unless you're a sumo wrestler, fat is not good for a martial artist.

Look, I know I started this post harsh. I mean it with good intention. If any of y'all reading this are struggling with weight issues, I understand. I've been there. Don't rationalize away you're responsibility for your conditioning and fitness. Take an honest assessment of yourself, and make the adjustments to your diet and exercise plans that you have to. The results are so worth it that I don't really know how to describe it. Be accountable and invest in yourself.

:soapbox:

Again, I'll extend an apology to anyone I offended. Well, unless I made you mad enough to really start training hard as a means of counter point then please let me know. I'll send you private messages calling you Fatty every day to help out..
:wink1:

Mark

 

[Omar B]

Great post man. Can't tell you how many people I know who attribute their weight issues to their glands or some disease that seems to allow them to do everything but work out. I had an ex room mate who was all about her thyroid problem which never came up unless it came to going out and doing something physical, but it never stopped her from smoking like a chimney or eating crap and drinking like a fish.

But then, people may be comfortable where they are and not wish to change. That's as it should be, be happy with yourself and your body.

Again, great post and congrats on your weight loss.

 

[teekin]

Well Bill I think the charts are crap too, people can't be broken down into 3 types and pasted with an "ideal" weight. If you're blood sugar stabilizes at 200 fantastic. If that is where you feel the happiest and your body is happy then perfect!!!. :drinky:
I commend you for not letting anyone else's opinion (problem) become your problem.:asian:
lori

 

[teekin]

Smurf, that is a very well written post. It does address some hidden issues.
lori

 

[Zakky]

Excellent post Mark, the way you explained it was top notch. I know a lot of people that fit that description and it really makes you wonder.

Your perception on weight loss is inspirational. Congratulations on the significant change.

 

[Bruno@MT]

Being fat is a sign of mental weakness. Our appetites for food, drink, and leisure are what determines if we are fat. Indiscipline in these areas manifests itself in the form of obesity. Laziness in reference to conditioning and fitness are not virtues to be courted and neither is the resultant blubber.

I have never been fat, but I was well on my way of becoming it.
I was trimmed lean in college, but once I started working, life happened, and got in the way of training. Living on my own didn't help

I never got fat, but slowly and surely, my weight creeped up on me.
Last year on holiday, I was standing in the bathroom which had a large mirror, and I looked at myself in the mirror when I was standing in profile.
.
.
.
And I was non too pleased with the fact that I was starting to get a real potbelly. At that time I weighed around 83 kilos, which is 182 pounds, and I am 1.76 meter , which is 5.7 feet

So I changed my diet. Not drastically, but I just cut out soda and beer, potato chips and other junk snacks. I stopped eating candy in between meals, things like that. I also started doing cardio again, and 4 months ago I started MA again.

Over the last months, I dropped to 165 pounds. My weight has now stabilized. My goal is to get to 160 pounds. I don't care if I get there, but under no circumstance do I want to get above 167. If I weigh more than that, it's not because there is anything wrong with me, it's just because I am slacking or overindulging.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Being fat is a sign of mental weakness. Our appetites for food, drink, and leisure are what determines if we are fat. Indiscipline in these areas manifests itself in the form of obesity. Laziness in reference to conditioning and fitness are not virtues to be courted and neither is the resultant blubber.

I appreciated your post and your reasons for losing weight. I applaud you for it.

With that said, I have to take slight exception to the statement above.

Being fat may be a sign of mental weakness, perhaps. It can also be a lifestyle choice. Not in the sense that a person chooses to be fat intentionally, but rather that a person puts other considerations in front of being thin.

Something like 3/4 of the USA is 'overweight' according to the charts. That means overweight is 'normal' by the standards of our citizenry. Many of us are lazy, don't get enough exercise, eat too much and eat food that is bad for us. Many of us do that not necessarily by choice, but by circumstance.

Could we all take control of our lives and eat better, exercise more? Probably a lot of us could. Not all of us, not realistically. I think of one of my younger sisters, a single mother of three boys, who tried desperately to lose weight for years as they were growing up. No time to exercise, she worked full time and was a full time mother to them. No money for decent food - cheap food is usually not that good for you. She spent twenty years exhausted and fat. Now that they're just about out of the house, she's got time and a little extra money and can indulge in things like exercise.

Then you've got people like me, who make decisions about what kind of life they want. Obviously some of my decisions were bad - I've got diabetes now (although some would consider that my own fault exclusively, it appears to run in my family and doctors say it is hereditary, so I might have gotten it anyway). And I am working hard to get in good physical shape, as I was before I was diagnosed. And that includes losing weight - I'm not happy at the weight I was at.

However - and I think this is important - I have no interest in joining the ranks of the six-pack abs and v-shaped chests. That's not me. I'm a big guy and I like being a big guy. 5-10 and 200 is about where I'm happiest, so that's what I'm aiming for, presuming my blood sugar is under control at that point. I know what my body 'likes' to be at, and 200 is about it. Does it look good? I DO NOT CARE.

My aim is my health and well-being and (important to me) comfort. That means I won't deny myself a burger now and again to try to reach some weight where I look good - but don't feel good. All I want is to be healthy - how I look does not enter into it.

The point? I'm not hung up on my looks. I've seen photos of myself, and I totally get what you're saying. I also know I don't care. I am me. Fitness, I care about. Weight, not so much. Lazy? I call it a choice.

 

[terryl965]

Well for me being fat is not a mental weakness but a cry for the use of steroids, you see I take 6 10 milligrams of them daily to help me breath, they are also in my inhaulers so I am screwed by all means. Sometime there are health issue behind the reason and sometimes you are right it is because we get lazy at best. I workout twice a day, i walk/jog three milesw every morning at the high school track and then I workout in my dojaang for about an hour everyday somdays harder tham others depend on my mood.

I appreciate the post and I also appreciate everyone right to accept or dislike fat people, but remember whatever you decide to do every single person has feelings and it is not your job to belittle anybody. Society needs to remember the common thread we all have to walk and that is though the gates to heaven, see everyone there one day.

 

[celtic_crippler]

A choice? Maybe...but for how long?

How long before the government steps in the way they did with smokers?

Their ruling based on health issues caused from smoking set a legal precedent. Overall, health problems caused from being overweight are more than those caused from alcohol and tobacco combined.

Personally, I don't care if you smoke or eat cheeseburgers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Your choice as are the consequences.

It's none of my business what you eat. If you're happy then what difference would it make what I thought anyway?

As far as I'm concerned it's only an issue if you're not happy with your weight and/or appearance. If that's the case then there are several options to get the weight off regardless of why it's there.

 

[geezer]

Bill, I'm a journalist, I get paid for my lack of "tact" as you put it (plus I'm a New Yorker). I say what people don't want to say or what they don't want to hear...

Yeah, Omar... it's that edgy, smart-*** exterior, what Bill called a "punch-me face", that some people are responding to. When you go on past the one liners, it becomes apparent that you have a lot to say. It's just that some of us get hung up on that abrasive first impression. ...Kinda like some people that get hung up on whether someone is fat or not.

 

[Jenna]

I was watching the Reno 911 movie a while ago and a particular line stood out for me: "I'm not chubby, its protective karate fat!"
It made me laugh, but I also thought about it. I know alot of MMA fighters are ripped up to make weight and also its better conditioning as you would lighter and presumably quicker, but if one is in good shape and not morbidly obese anything, it doesn't really seem like it would be too horrible. It could provide some protection from body blows, and, God forbid, a few inches of protection from a mortal wound if attacked with a knife. There are a good deal of martial artists who do really well, even if they are a bit chubby (Sammo Hung comes to mind)

This is not, however, an excuse to skimp out on conditioning.
at all.

Thoughts? Opinions?

I think your point is right... "but if one is in good shape and not morbidly obese anything, it doesn't really seem like it would be too horrible" - I had two favoured senseis in my past who were what would be described as excessively heavy for their frame, yet their competence in the art was to me unparalleled. I know I could out chin-up and outsprint either of them and but I never once got the better of either of them on the mat (and when were chin ups ever a good defence!). I think we adapt our techniques to ourselves. I think there is no "norm" for any art. I have the opposite problem in figuring out how I am to move potential opponents who are bigger than I am. I have had to adapt my art to fit me better, like tailoring a trouser suit.

I do not know about the mechanics. I suspect that fat on a face, chest, kidneys would not much impede a proper blow and likewise where there is significant blood loss, a flesh wound is a flesh wound irrespective of a person's bodily fat percentage I think. Similarly bodybuilders that consume excesses of calories do tread a fine line between rapid weight-gain and gain in muscle mass.

And but in all my years of training, I think I have learned never to allow my ill-informed prejudice to colour judgement of any of my opponent's fighting abilities. Overweight or under, tall or short, I have found anecdotally that shape and size are irrelevant if the fighter is proficient and has made their art fit them.

I think the other fact that a lot of us forget is that our bodies can change over time and through circumstance or injury or age and so anyone who imagines they have perfected now the ideal system for all their days will I think travel for part of that journey with no art worth having. Adaptability is my word for the day. If a fighter can adapt to their body type, then their body type is irrelevant. If they can adapt and have done so with a pragmatic mind then they will use that body type as a positive fighting advantage.

Class dismissed Safe home everybody
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[geezer]

I've got a really unpopular view...

Being fat is a sign of mental weakness. Our appetites for food, drink, and leisure are what determines if we are fat. Indiscipline in these areas manifests itself in the form of obesity. Laziness in reference to conditioning and fitness are not virtues to be courted and neither is the resultant blubber.

Wow, I'm a jerk!

A jerk? Me too. I'm also 5'8' and have a medium to small frame. When I passed 190, I was really turning into a slob. Like you, I made excuses for a few years and then decided to do something about it. I copped an attitude a lot like yours, and got my lazy **** into gear. I lost forty pounds and got lean and mean. That was two years ago. Now I've gained a bit back, and I'm up to 160. But since I've been running and lifting regularly, most of that is muscle. And it's not easy to put on muscle in your mid fifties!

Sometimes being an obnoxious, intolerant jerk is a good thing. Like when it's directed toward yourself (or, to reference Omar, when reviewing a rotten band!). When it comes to self motivation, use whatever works. On the other hand, my instructor and some of my valued training partners are overweight. And they can still throw me around like nothing. Be harsh on yourself if it works, but be very careful how you judge others!

BTW-- I've lost the extra weight. But I still suffer from being a "mentally weak" lazy slob. But a fit slob! So there's some consolation.

 

[CoryKS]

I can understand why people may find fat unappealing for aesthetic reasons, but I don't understand why it has to be judged as a moral lapse. Why can't people be fat without also being lazy, weak, and gluttonous? Fat occurs when caloric intake > caloric expenditure, right? So it's possible that someone could be busting their *** daily but eating more than needed (gluttonous, perhaps, but not lazy or weak), or eating sensibly but not burning it off (perhaps lazy, not necessarily weak, and not gluttonous). Or maybe they were formerly lazy and gluttonous but now exercise and eat sensibly, but not to a degree that it results in a caloric deficit (maintaining).


I don't know how people manage to hold on to extra weight while training in MA, though. That's a LOT of calories being burned.

 

[jeff5]

I'd like to respond to comments in several posts.

The stat that 3/4 of Americans are overweight - True, and should add overweight and out of shape. That may be the norm but it's an extremely bad norm. Overweight is probably not a good way to state it, it should probably be, out of shape or just in bad physical condition. I'm not talking about looks, just basic fitness. Most people can't do a pull up or push up or run a mile. As a culture we've gotten more sedentary, are eating huge portion sizes (some are sick, really), and don't eat right. It's bad for our country if you ask me, and needs to change.

Bill, if your healthy at 200 and that's what you like being at, I think you should stay there. Imo, the look part (V chest, 6 pack abs, etc.), is optional. People should exercise, eat right, and be active, and if you want to look a certain way, fine, but to me that's not required to be fit.

Eating is a huge part of your health and weight. I have read arguements that state it is harder to eat right/healthy when you are economically disadvantaged. I don't have a solution for this, and I wouldn't use it as an excuse for people, but I do think that it has to be much harder to eat right/exercise when you are working two or three jobs and are on food stamps. (note I said harder, not impossible)

The whole thyroid thing - I've seen some statistics that this actually affects less than 5% of the population. That's not to say that some people don't have medical conditions, because I know they do and others should be sensitive to that. (or are on medications that cause weight gain) However for the VAST majority it's an issue of self discipline and motivation. And again, even if you are heavy or look fat, you can still exercise and be in decent or even very good physical condition.

 

[mook jong man]

I don't know how people manage to hold on to extra weight while training in MA, though. That's a LOT of calories being burned.

As you get older your metabolism slows down and you have to train a lot harder and eat more sensibly to get the same results as when you were younger.

 

[JadecloudAlchemist]

Just sing this song:

 

[shihansmurf]

I appreciated your post and your reasons for losing weight. I applaud you for it.

With that said, I have to take slight exception to the statement above.

Being fat may be a sign of mental weakness, perhaps. It can also be a lifestyle choice. Not in the sense that a person chooses to be fat intentionally, but rather that a person puts other considerations in front of being thin.

Something like 3/4 of the USA is 'overweight' according to the charts. That means overweight is 'normal' by the standards of our citizenry. Many of us are lazy, don't get enough exercise, eat too much and eat food that is bad for us. Many of us do that not necessarily by choice, but by circumstance.


However - and I think this is important - I have no interest in joining the ranks of the six-pack abs and v-shaped chests. That's not me. I'm a big guy and I like being a big guy. 5-10 and 200 is about where I'm happiest, so that's what I'm aiming for, presuming my blood sugar is under control at that point. I know what my body 'likes' to be at, and 200 is about it. Does it look good? I DO NOT CARE.

My aim is my health and well-being and (important to me) comfort. That means I won't deny myself a burger now and again to try to reach some weight where I look good - but don't feel good. All I want is to be healthy - how I look does not enter into it.

The point? I'm not hung up on my looks. I've seen photos of myself, and I totally get what you're saying. I also know I don't care. I am me. Fitness, I care about. Weight, not so much. Lazy? I call it a choice.

Thank you for the compliment.

First off, you are 100% right on the accuracy of the body weight charts. The weight screaning tables that we use in the Army are likewise skewed. The problem isn't that the charts are inaccurate because 3/4ths of the population are overweightaccording to them. The problem is that the charts themselves demonstrate an unrealistic BMI. The argument that since 3/4ths of the people are fat, then the definition of healthy weight is obviously wrong is faulty. The plethora of health issues related to obesity demonstrates that. Additionally, changing to standard to allow people that fail to meet the standard to suddenly pass, merely lowers the bar. It doesn't change the performance, so to speak.

In other words, grading on the curve doesn't produce smarter students and gauging your comaprative obesity against the blubbery masses does nothing to address the underlying problem if you happen to be overweight.

I'm not part of the V shaped chest and 6 pack ab crowd either. I'm in good shape, but I'll never be built like Jay Coulter or Dexter Jackson. I don't have the genes to get to their size and builds. I do think that, however, the fact that my pecs protrude futher than my gut is a good thing. I don't train for the bar body. I train for strength and to enhance my performance at my sport. To that end I do a lot of high weigh, low rep sets of compound excercises and tons of cardio. It has been effective.

That's the important thing. I realize that in my previous post, I ranted a bit about how I looked. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a factor in my choice to alter my lifestyle, but the absolute most important moment for me came on my student's sandan grading. I was exhausted from sparring two rounds at full contact in gear. That's all I did. Six minutes, with a three minute break between minutes three and four and I was spent. I found the experience humiliating. I had gotten to the point that I couldn't perform well as a martial artist. Worse, I was a hypocrit.

See, as instructors we have this unfortunate tendency stand up in front of a class and preach about all these positive benefits of martial arts training. Discipline, self-control, strength of will, character, and so forth. How much self discipline and self control was I exhibiting by preaching about controling oneself when I was fifty pounds overweight? As martial artists we like to spout all this touchy feely crap about the lessons of the martial arts and how they transcend fighting, how martial art training is about walking a path in life, about a "Do", right? Well, here is the thing, if all that is true then for those teachings about self control, and self denial to have any meaning then we have to actually apply them to ourselves and not just recite them roboticaly to our students, or repeat them back lifelessly to our teachers. We have to ingrain them into our daily routines and inculcate them into our patterns of behavior, if not then they are nothing more than meaningless drivel at best and empty platitudes designed to distract from the fact that we are practicing a fighting art at worst.

I found myself being a hypocrit.See, in order to practice any real degree of self discipline one has to understand that every action we take is the result of a consious choice. Once we come to that realization it leads to the obvious conclusion that we are then absolutely responsible for the results of our choices. Since I had been choosing to cram disproprtionate amounts of food in my pie hole, drink way too much beer, and top it off with being lazy, I was being a hypocrit each time I opened my mouth and spoke of the positive benefits the martial arts. Once I accepted that I was the reason I was a fat, lazy, tub, the choice was clear. It wasn't easy but it was clear.

When we are faced with a choice to make, and we choose to take an easy wrong over a hard right, then it is a moment of moral weakness. Do this often enough and it becomes habituated. Internal failings have extrnal manifestations, in the case of diet and excercise, it tends to become rolls of lard. That's why I view it as moral weakness.

You are right. It is a choice. We all have to make our choices and own the reprecussions. I just don't tuck with calling weakness by another name. I made the hard choices. I'm no better, or mentally tougher than anyone else. If I am able to do this, than anyone else can as well. Self-determination is a wonderful thing.

One last thing, I don't deny myself a burger now and then either. Gluttony isn't a matter of the occasional splurge. It is habituated overeating. I have beer with my supper most nights, that doesn't make me a drunkard. Now, when I was putting away a six pack a night...

Point is, when we take our patters of behavior to unhealthy extremes we start ourselves down a path that will only serve to do us harm. Overindulgence in food, drink, leisure, or even exercise can ultimately serve to injure us. We can become slaves to our appetites with great ease.

Mark

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Point is, when we take our patters of behavior to unhealthy extremes we start ourselves down a path that will only serve to do us harm. Overindulgence in food, drink, leisure, or even exercise can ultimately serve to injure us. We can become slaves to our appetites with great ease.

Agreed again! I absolutely see your point of view. And although I am not an epicurean, I still feel compelled to say that as we both agree, a healthy lifestyle is a choice. There are people who know full well the risks and who choose to overeat because they want to. They do not exercise because they do not want to. In a free society, they have to be free to make those choices if they wish. When we get into the area of nationalized health care, then the argument changes - perhaps. That's a different argument, though - a 'good of society/financial' issue instead of a personal choice/freedom issue.

I used to smoke. I smoked a lot. Too much. It was unhealthy. I knew it then, and I know it now. I did not care. That's a personal choice, and so long as my choice doesn't make anyone die but me, in a free society, I should be allowed to make it. I quit - but that was my choice too. I don't now go around telling smokers to quit - that's their business.

And just a funny anecdote I just recalled - I remember when I was in Marine Corps boot camp, back in the 1970's. During boot camp, we spent a week at Camp Pendleton, CA, for rifle marksmanship training. But that's not all we did there, we also did some serious forced marches - up the side of a mountain known as Mount M*(@*F@&*er, if you know what I mean.

You know who used to find those 10 hour marches no problem? Fat-*** me. Know who fell out of every single one of them? A super-fit body-builder guy in our platoon who could run 3 miles in 18 minutes on flat land during our PFT tests. Not all fitness is the same, not all endurance works alike, and looks can be deceiving. I could do it - he couldn't. Neither of us could believe it about the other, but it was true.

 

[shihansmurf]

Well for me being fat is not a mental weakness but a cry for the use of steroids, you see I take 6 10 milligrams of them daily to help me breath, they are also in my inhaulers so I am screwed by all means. Sometime there are health issue behind the reason and sometimes you are right it is because we get lazy at best. I workout twice a day, i walk/jog three milesw every morning at the high school track and then I workout in my dojaang for about an hour everyday somdays harder tham others depend on my mood.

I appreciate the post and I also appreciate everyone right to accept or dislike fat people, but remember whatever you decide to do every single person has feelings and it is not your job to belittle anybody. Society needs to remember the common thread we all have to walk and that is though the gates to heaven, see everyone there one day.

There are people that have health issues that do impact their weight, but in all honesty, the overwhelming majority of fat people are that way because of the reasons I cited. The workout rourine that you put yourself through each day is testament alone to the fact that you are not one of the type of people that you feel I am insulting.

Nonetheless, I think that should point out that I don't dislike fat people. Hell, I was one. I can relate. That doesn't mean that we should turn a blind eye to people that are engaging in self-destructive behavior and pretend that what they are doing is fine and a valid health choice, especially if we purport to care about those people. By saying to them, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, so go ahead and pile on another helping there. By the way 340 pounds is a great weight at 5'9", and you should feel great about yourself", is empowering them to continue to engage in behavior that is detrimental to their health and well-being. Sometimes hurting a persons feelings is a small price to pay if in exchange, we are able to get the person to break damaging habits.

A truthful assessment of a persons traits is not in any way belittling. Should someone read these posts that I have written on this subject and conclude that I am an arrogant, mean, condescending jerk. I don't think they would belittle me by pointing it out. They would be accurate, but the truth is never an insult. If a truth is unpleasnet to hear, then one should probably examine whay that particular truth is upsetting, and rectify things accordingly.

Mark

P.S. I find it damned impressive that you can wlk/jog three miles each morning given that you need an inhaler. Since I PCS'd to Arizona I've learned I'm allergic to several of the pollens out here in the desert. Until I started taking meds, I could barely breath, and certainly cardio was challenging to say the least.

 

[Brian King]

Rats, no time currently to add to this conversation other than to take a moment to say I enjoyed reading this thread, found it educational and inspirational. A subject that could easily turn personal being handled honestly and helpfully. The honesty people are putting into their posts is truly humbling. Thank you and I hope this keeps going

Warmest wishes
Brian King