Ever fell betrayed

[Indie12]

Over all yours years in TKD have you ever felt like you was betrayed by the ORg, Students or even your Black Belts. If so what did they do and how was it handle?

Yep, By the organization and Black Belts....

 

[puunui]

It should not be hard to keep a civil attitude to - well almost - all people you encounter. Sadly there are also a lot of people out there who have the maturity of a toddler and the morals of an earth worm.

When I hear those types of stories, especially ones which involve a student complaining about an instructor, I think to myself perhaps there could have been more time spent deciding whether to learn from that instructor in the first place. There have been lots of schools that I wanted to join but didn't because I didn't want to be under a particular instructor. It makes a big difference who and where we learn from. That's why kids put so much effort into the selection of colleges for example. You want to go to the best school possible for you, and includes whether the school fits your needs. I am very careful about who I choose to learn from. It got to the point where I had to physically relocate and/or travel thousands of miles and/or pay to have my instructor visit me to continue lessons. I didn't just sign up for lessons at the closest most convenient school available, at least not when I was old enough to select my own teachers.

 

[puunui]

I agree with you puunui, I have always tried to respect all of my teachers. Even the one's that took money and never got the certs for people. TKD is about the respect and intrigrity we have for all people.

I can say that it hasn't been all good with all my teachers. I have written about lessons that my teachers taught me where I didn't understand until a year or more afterwards what the lesson was about. You never ever hear me speak ill of my teachers in public, because I never know when I will finally understand the lesson to be learned from a particular situation. I think that bitterness and hatred of a teacher or even a senior, no matter how justified you may feel that bitterness or hatred is, is the path to the dark side. In fact, that is a real large red flag for me, hearing a person go on and on about how their teacher screwed them over.

 

[granfire]

When I hear those types of stories, especially ones which involve a student complaining about an instructor, I think to myself perhaps there could have been more time spent deciding whether to learn from that instructor in the first place. There have been lots of schools that I wanted to join but didn't because I didn't want to be under a particular instructor. It makes a big difference who and where we learn from. That's why kids put so much effort into the selection of colleges for example. You want to go to the best school possible for you, and includes whether the school fits your needs. I am very careful about who I choose to learn from. It got to the point where I had to physically relocate and/or travel thousands of miles and/or pay to have my instructor visit me to continue lessons. I didn't just sign up for lessons at the closest most convenient school available, at least not when I was old enough to select my own teachers.

That is true. however the majority of people who set foot into a school have no idea what they are looking at. There is a lot of talk about lofty ideals, such has Honor and Integrity.

It usually takes a while for the true colors to show.
Once you have been around the block you can assess the situation much better. Of course, only if you continue the journey.
The instructors should be aware that the world around them is growing much smaller and words should get around...but then again, more often than not it doesn't because people get out of it completely or decide to take the high road after cutting their losses.

 

[troubleenuf]

This is true.. we put our instructors up on a pedestal and WANT to believe in him so bad that we ignore anything that would indicate that he/she is not the person we think them to be. In some ways its becomes a cult like setting were people want to belong and want to believe so bad that they will follow along regardless of the direction they are being taken.

I think a lot of problems arise from students putting their seniors up on a pedestal. They think that because they have a high rank in a martial art that they must also be a "high rank" as a person, and therefore leave themselves open to be hurt. I have the utmost respect for my seniors IN the dojang. Outside of the dojang they are just normal everyday guys, with normal everyday problems and issues. I remember a karate instructor I had as a kid. I would see him up the front of the class, with the black belt on, barking instructions and could see and feel the unconditional respect everyone (including myself) had for this guy. It was as if he were super human both physically and mentally. Then I became good mates with his son and would hang out at his place and realised that in 'real life' he was a very angry man with many issues, he was an alcoholic, he was lazy and had questionable morals. It made me realise that despite his rank inside the dojo, outside of it he was just a mere mortal, yet if he told a student to jump they'd say "how high?"

 

[puunui]

This is true.. we put our instructors up on a pedestal and WANT to believe in him so bad that we ignore anything that would indicate that he/she is not the person we think them to be. In some ways its becomes a cult like setting were people want to belong and want to believe so bad that they will follow along regardless of the direction they are being taken.

I never put my instructors or my seniors on a pedestal, anymore than I put my parents or grandparents on a pedestal.... If anything, I was acutely aware of any "shortcomings" or "personal areas in which they were working on", but I made the decision to learn from them and at that point, you take the bitter with the sweet. There is this show that I have been watching, "Lights Out" on FX I believe it is. It is about a former heavy weight champion boxer dealing various ethical and moral dilemmas in his life. No one in his life is perfect, including Lights and I like watching the way he handles the situations that he gets himself into.

 

[Manny]

I agree with you puunui, I have always tried to respect all of my teachers. Even the one's that took money and never got the certs for people. TKD is about the respect and intrigrity we have for all people.

Terry the same thing hapened to me, when I got my bb jido kwan certification my master sambonim asked me if I wanted the KUKIWON certificate and I told him yes, so I gave him the big bucks I saved with efforts and waited and waited and waited and the certificates never arrived, in felt bad because besides myself another costudents pay to master sambonim and we never got the certificatios or the money back, however I never fight my master sambonim and never go further (even we got rober) and I have a good relation with my former master sambonim, I left the past in the past.

Manny