Dumbest Criminals

[Lynne]

I thought I'd share some dumb criminal stories I've read or seen on video. Please feel free to add your own.

-A suspect was being pursued by the police and their K9 unit, a german shepherd. The suspect, being of higher intelligence than most, decided he would subdue the dog by biting its ear. He bit the dog's ear and the dog tore him up.
........

-Police knock on door of suspect's house. Suspect, hippy-goofy-redneck- sort-of-guy, opens the door.

"Yeah?"
"Sir, we have suspicion that you are a cultivator of marijuana and we have a warrant to search the premises."
"I ain't no cultivator."
"Sir, we'd like to search your premises. We suspect you are growing marijuana."
"I'll show you the pot man, but I ain't no cultivator; I'm a Presbyterian!"
........
A pretty young girl, Carmen, worked at a convenience store. One night while she was working, a man came in and robbed her.

She gave the police a description of the offender. They picked up a man who fit the description not far from the store.

The police drove Carmen to where they were holding the suspect and wanted her to make an identification.

Carmen was standing outside of the cruiser and the suspect climbed out of the cruiser he was in.

Before Carmen could open her mouth, the suspect said, "Yes suh, that's her, that's the girl I robbed!" as he nodded his head emphatically.

*snort, giggle*

 

[Edmund BlackAdder]

Sometimes, you realise that some people are less intelligent than an weevil, unless said weevil is dead, and even then, it is debatable.

 

[terryl965]

I loved that dumbest criminal show.

 

[Lynne]

Sometimes, you realise that some people are less intelligent than an weevil, unless said weevil is dead, and even then, it is debatable.

Does a weevil have a brain?

 

[Lynne]

I loved that dumbest criminal show.

Sometimes Cops is almost as good It gets boring though. You know the suspect is always going to say, "I only had two beers," or, "That's not my crack. I don't know it got into my backpack."

 

[Rich Parsons]

Does a weevil have a brain?

Even by going with the lessor of two weevils, one might be insulting the weevil.

 

[MA-Caver]

Wanda: Oh right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: (smug, matter of fact tone) Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it. Let me clue you in on a few things; Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself", and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

:idunno: everytime I hear about a stupid criminal I think of Otto from a Fish Called Wanda.