Do people outside of martial arts respect you skill?

[KenpoTex]

To start with I would like to say that this has been a very interesting thread and I think that many valid points have been made...now for my 2 cents. I really don't care if people know if I study M.A. if someone asks I will tell them and all my friends know b/c whenever they call they get the "I would like to but I've got class" line.
That being said, I don't go around broadcasting the fact that I study M.A. my philosophy is that if someone doesn't know I study, and they instigate a fight that I can't talk my way out of I'm going to have the element of suprise on my side when I respond. Also, in my experience, the people that have to let everyone know that they study M.A., in other words, those that make sure you know how much of a bad a__ they are usually aren't as bad as they have convinced themselves that they are.
As far as the issue of respect, if someone respects you because of your martial arts training but doesn't respect you as a person, or wouldn't respect you if they didn't know about your M.A. do you really care about their opinion? I sure as heck wouldn't.

 

[Gotkenpo?]

I couldn't give two shits what my friends think of my combat training to be perfectly honest. I know they respect ME though. However, they have seen my power, and once in a while they will try to attack me, and i'll just punch em in the face lightly or something.

 

[7starmantis]

Originally posted by Black Bear
Well this is the martial arts forum, not the family therapy forum... but it sounded like some of the folks might be adolescents or something, in which case what parents think does matter, and you do want to get them on board. I was thinking mainly immediate, nuclear family. Like if you have a hobby or interest that your spouse has strong negative feelings about, then that's an issue. Ah, never mind.

Yeah, I overlooked that point. This board does have many adolescents on it, and it is important for their family to agree. Mine did not, and I studied without their knowledge for a while, I wouldn't recomend that however.

7sm

 

[markulous]

Just because they are family doesn't mean they know what the best is for you. You should take into account everything they say and do, because it's quite possible they know something you don't. I have very few members of my family that I care about. If the ones that I did care about told me to leave martial arts, I wouldn't even hesitate with a resounding NO. And if a woman that I am married to or going out with has a problem with my martial art I would promptly show her where the door is.

I just heard this the other day: "When you are alone, who is going to be there? When you look in the mirror who are you going to see?" The answer obviously being yourself. You have to do what's right for yourself most of the time. No this does not mean be greedy, inconsiderate, and lack total empathy for the people around you. Quite the opposite. If you have a good set of morals and completely express yourself then you won't be any of those things, yet not comprimising yourself.

In other words, if something truely means the world to you, stick with it no matter what anyone says.

 

[Zepp]

Sometimes I wonder what my friends really think of my martial arts training. Most them have heard my story about testing at black belt camp in NY in the summer while being sick. Some of them sometimes jokingly say "don't mess with him, he's a black belt," but the way they say it makes me wonder how much their joking. One of my friends used to flinch when we were messing around with each other, as if he thought I'd really hit him. I finally told him "look dude, I give my friends a chance to take the first shot, alright?"

My girlfriend doesn't have a problem with my training, which is good, because I consider acceptance of me in martial arts to be a pre-requisite for a relationship.

I think my roommates may be scared of me. But that could just be because they've heard me muttering to myself while dragging a bulky, blood-leaking plastic garbage bag to the trunk of my car. :EG:

 

[RCastillo]

Originally posted by Zepp
Sometimes I wonder what my friends really think of my martial arts training. Most them have heard my story about testing at black belt camp in NY in the summer while being sick. Some of them sometimes jokingly say "don't mess with him, he's a black belt," but the way they say it makes me wonder how much their joking. One of my friends used to flinch when we were messing around with each other, as if he thought I'd really hit him. I finally told him "look dude, I give my friends a chance to take the first shot, alright?"

My girlfriend doesn't have a problem with my training, which is good, because I consider acceptance of me in martial arts to be a pre-requisite for a relationship.

I think my roommates may be scared of me. But that could just be because they've heard me muttering to myself while dragging a bulky, blood-leaking plastic garbage bag to the trunk of my car.

Well, in that case, I'd be friendly to you as well.

 

[Black Bear]

Originally posted by Zepp
I think my roommates may be scared of me. But that could just be because they've heard me muttering to myself while dragging a bulky, blood-leaking plastic garbage bag to the trunk of my car. :EG:

Okay, you've GOT to tell us what the story is with that.

Everyone's relationship with their family is different, but I don't think it's necessarily a lack of integrity to give up something you value like MA because of your family. It's just a choice. They don't know what's best for you but usually families WANT what's best for folks. Childhood/adolescence isn't forever. And martial arts is not the only wortwhile thing in life. I suspect it's not even the MOST worthwhile thing in life.

I have a friend who's a grad student in Houston and is contemplating getting a little scooter. I mean, she's a young adult. Could be a bit hazardous. She told her dad, who nearly choked and said, "Do you want me to be able to SLEEP at night?" I think it's perfectly appropriate to take her folks' feelings into consideration when weighing the pros and cons, and in the end she will do what she thinks is right.

 

[Black Bear]

And I agree with the folks here saying that you should select a "partner" who shares values and interests as similar to your own as possible. The couple that plays together, stays together.

If someone profoundly dislikes something that is important to you, that is going to be part of your daily life, then why would you be dating them.

 

[Tony]

I remember i was performing one of my forms after doing Kung Fu for 2 years. I have this so called friend who's a bit of a loud mouth, and anyway I'm trying to balance on one leg and he says "you have no balance" to which replied "ok you try"
He didn't have much of an answer after that!
Now i've been doing Kung Fu well over 5 years now and I really enjoy it and my balance has improve a lot along with everything else I think! But I try not to announce the fact I practice Kung Fu to anyone, I haven't even told my work colleagues or even put on My CV, or Resume for all the Americans here!

 

[Black Bear]

Americans also say CV. It is not interchangeable with resume, because resume is a summary of the most relevant or salient stuff, whereas CV is comprehensive.

In North America, it is usually only the engineer culture who include sports, recreational readings, and leisure stuff in their CV's. Engineer employers are often wary of "nerds", and want well-rounded, balanced humans. So if I as an educational consultant had

Extracurricular activities
Paisley belt in Tae Kyur Dough
awarded May 2003

on my CV or resume, I'd never get work.

 

[8253]

Originally posted by SolidTiger
The reason why I ask this question is because I wonder how people respect your ability, because some people think martial
arts is bull. I know because I ran into a couple, and their mostly
cowards because they know I do martial arts but they won't never test me. I guest because of a deep fear of what they don't
understand. They only know what they see on tv about martial
arts, and so they are ignorant to you skill. So it's always been a
kind of respect their always for me.

Thank You

SolidTiger

The true question should be: Do you respect your own skill?