do martial artists lack something? or is this just humanity?

[martial sparrer]

so right now I am teaching all day, going home taking care of my two children, then I train martial arts movements and exercises a couple times a week. I have been doing this for about 5 years, and now I am sparring with partners at my home. I was looking around for an mma gym, found one, but I have decided to wait until my children are older, maybe in a year. so about December I started visiting one forum and then I started at this one. I thought I would be getting together with great, kind, and supporting martial artists, where I could ask questions and learn. when I came onto the forums I was very surprised to meet many rude and mean spirited people. so I thought it was my lack of knowledge, but then reading through posts I realized that people on these forums are just plain rude and mean-spirited. you can have two blackbelts discussing things but more than not it gets offensive and personal. I find this weird because all the martial artists I have talked to in person and on the forums preach about peace, respect, kindness, responsibility etc. so in fact there are so many martial artists that have failed to gain one of the most important aspects of martial arts: the concept of humility. so then I started thinking...is it only artists on the internet? are you all old and tired and angry at the world? maybe. but again, now I am thinking there are bad artists and good artists....so is this what humanity and society is all about? evil and anger and hate? on a whole other level, evil is taking over this world.....and I think that one day in north America and Europe....people will start attacking Christian churches.....and then the real trouble begins.....so now I think I am going to get off the forums and train my movements....I was so much more positive back then. and again....you can reply with "yes your stupid, yes you don't know anything....your posts are unintelligent"......but remember....you blackbelts attack each other when you should be a family of humility and justice....so....are you lacking something as martial artists? when yu get your blackbelt do you think your better than everybody? or it this about society being messed up?

 

[MantisTLK]

You, my friend, are on a thread making spree. I just responded to your other post, so I might as well respond to this one also. I come to these forums often, more often then you do. I look through and read whatever catches my interest on a daily basis. I rarely post, so for me to have two in one day, well that's a lot. I am a little bit sad that you feel this way about this forum, because I feel exactly the opposite! Maybe you're not that active on the internet, but as far as forums go, this place is the closest place to an internet sanctuary I have found. The amount of wisdom collected here through the members that come here to share their knowledge astounds me.

That being said, I think you are approaching this the wrong way, what you constitute as rude and mean-spirited... actually isn't. I am using the previous thread as my background knowledge, because that is all I know of you, but if the way they responded to your comment offends you.. You should probably unplug your internet? I hope you didn't construe that as mean either, because it wasn't meant to be, just direct and honest like most people on this forum. There isn't much tolerance on this forum for nonsense, but I haven't found another forum with more patience.

I agree with you in one sense, I'm really sad to see martial artists fighting each other all the time, in my eyes we are all one family, and should be treating each other as such. One of the arts I study is Chow Gar Southern Praying Mantis Kung Fu, and you can bet your *** that if you claim to have knowledge of it, and begin to teach it, people will show up and beat the piss out of you. This drives me nuts, the politics of martial arts, we should be above this.

I am in the process of ridding myself of my ego, and teaching myself humility, but it is difficult.

I'm not going to comment on your religious aspects, because I have no desire to open that box.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Don't mistake a discussion site for anything other than a place where people go to argue. Not to be mean but grow a thicker skin and make your case. People will attack it and you, but that is all part of the fun. Defend yourself with dignity or walk away. If you believe you are a writer that can contribute, you will stay. Its all in the attitude.

 

[Cyriacus]

Don't mistake a discussion site for anything other than a place where people go to argue. Not to be mean but grow a thicker skin and make your case. People will attack it and you, but that is all part of the fun. Defend yourself with dignity or walk away. If you believe you are a writer that can contribute, you will stay. Its all in the attitude.

Also, defending your views gives you a chance to explore why you have them in the first place. And if you cant defend a view, review it until you can, or you change it. Thats what makes places like this so great. Its an opportunity to learn.

 

[Cyriacus]

so....are you lacking something as martial artists? when yu get your blackbelt do you think your better than everybody? or it this about society being messed up?

Mm. I missed this.
Im a yellow belt, right now. Used to be a green belt, but then i started training at a new place. Before that i was a green belt with a blue tag, at a different place again. Before that i was a white belt in something else again. Before that i trained at two different places where beginners didnt have belts. I for one am not a blackbelt, and incidentally, i have no intention of trying to work towards one in the foreseeable future.

 

[seasoned]

This forum or any forum for that matter, as well as life in general, is made up of a wide spectrum of people from all walks of life. Where martial arts are concerned, everyone is at a different level and place, on their journey and look at things based on the knowledge they have at any given time.
I personal feel that the written word comes off differently then talking to someone in person and can be misconstrued. When coming to forums, approach not having all the answers, but, be humble ourselves and open minded. Build bridges, don't burn them.

 

[Sukerkin]

Some good advice and wisdom in all the posts above :nods:.

We are all human at the end of the day and sometimes we argue when we should walk away and sometimes we misinterpret what others say and have others misinterpret what we say. That is particularly so with the written word. We can give and take offence so easily if we are not careful in how we write and how we read.

I've done it myself just recently in fact. I took such offence that I put a long standing kin-mate here on Ignore because, as I saw it, he refused to make some allowances at my devastated emotional state at the loss of my wife and, again as I saw it, kept badgering me. But it's a subject he is very passionate about and all he was doing really was trying to batter the 'truth' out of some data to see what it really said. However, due to the limitations of the media, that isn't what I took from his words and upset ensued as I felt it was me personally he was battering. Which reminds me, time to unclick that Ignore.

So, Sparrer, always keep in mind that if words on a screen can be taken several ways and one of those ways makes you mad, it may well be that that is not what the writer intended .

 

[DennisBreene]

I think you will find that there are many posts by individuals like Sukerkin, that continue to demonstrate humanity and virtue. Even the best among us is human and subject to the inherant frailties of our species. I've found that reading a posting with an open mind to the message and a forgiving attitude to form, grammer and construction makes it much easier to decipher the intent behind the message. I have rarely been dissapointed in the quality of person doing the posting as I come to know them through the totality of their contributions .

 

[K-man]

I was looking around for an mma gym, found one, but I have decided to wait until my children are older, maybe in a year. so about December I started visiting one forum and then I started at this one. I thought I would be getting together with great, kind, and supporting martial artists, where I could ask questions and learn. when I came onto the forums I was very surprised to meet many rude and mean spirited people. so I thought it was my lack of knowledge, but then reading through posts I realized that people on these forums are just plain rude and mean-spirited.

It is disappointing that you should feel that way. I don't think 'mean spirited' gets a look in. 'Rude' is in the eye of the beholder. If someone asks a question in good faith, I have seen that most on this forum will go out of their way to provide the best information to answer that query. Often folk might have differing views and you have to decide what is he best answer for you. Sometimes people phrase their question in such a way that it is apparent that beneath he question, they are making a statement. If that statement is non sensible then people will jump all over it and pull it to bits. If you ask a question you are entitled to a reasoned response. If you make a statement, others may have different opinions.

you can have two blackbelts discussing things but more than not it gets offensive and personal. I find this weird because all the martial artists I have talked to in person and on the forums preach about peace, respect, kindness, responsibility etc. so in fact there are so many martial artists that have failed to gain one of the most important aspects of martial arts: the concept of humility.

Could I suggest that this is a bit of an over statement. Very rarely does it get offensive as the draws the attention of the moderators who may well see fit to ban an offensive poster. Same goes for 'personal'. But, to say that "so many martial artists have failed to gain humility" is certainly at odds with my observations of the members of this forum.

so then I started thinking...is it only artists on the internet? are you all old and tired and angry at the world? maybe. but again, now I am thinking there are bad artists and good artists....so is this what humanity and society is all about? evil and anger and hate? on a whole other level, evil is taking over this world.....and I think that one day in north America and Europe....people will start attacking Christian churches.....and then the real trouble begins.....so now I think I am going to get off the forums and train my movements....I was so much more positive back then. and again....you can reply with "yes your stupid, yes you don't know anything....your posts are unintelligent"......but remember....you blackbelts attack each other when you should be a family of humility and justice....so....are you lacking something as martial artists? when yu get your blackbelt do you think your better than everybody? or it this about society being messed up?

Some of us are older than others, some of us are possibly a bit tired. Possibly some are angry with the world but those sentiments are more usually found in 'The Study', not the other areas. Certainly you are right about 'good' (martial) artists but I don't agree that the others are 'bad'. If you have an open mind you can learn an enormous amount from people on this forum. There have been numerous people I have never met who, though their books and DVDs, have greatly influenced my training. Most of those people are well known in MA circles. But, there have been people on this forum who have had as much or even more influence by posting videos that show aspects of their training that they feel are key principles. I do have a black belt, in fact I am fortunate that I have black belt in two styles. They are karate and aikido. But it is the Kung fu guys that have given me most insight on this forum. I am the first to acknowledge their expertise and their willingness to share their knowledge. Having a black belt does not make you the font of all knowledge. It is just the end of the beginning. By the time you get to black belt in a style you start to understand how little you really know! So black belts have demonstrated the tenacity to get to that level but there would be very few that think they are "better than everybody".

So, if you feel the need, you are free to leave this forum. I think that if you do, you will be turning your back on one of the more valuable martial art resources on the web. :asian:

 

[Cirdan]

MT got some of the nicest and most knowledgeable people on the net, why I always return. I guess the reason it stays this way is that people will get called on their bs here.

Evil is taking over the world, churches under attack? Did I miss something?

 

[Gnarlie]

so right now I am teaching all day, going home taking care of my two children, then I train martial arts movements and exercises a couple times a week. I have been doing this for about 5 years, and now I am sparring with partners at my home. I was looking around for an mma gym, found one, but I have decided to wait until my children are older, maybe in a year

Good for you. Doing something is better than doing nothing, and certainly better than being a couch potato. I really think that that MMA gym and some lessons will help you to understand where some of the viewpoints you've encountered on this forum are coming from.

so about December I started visiting one forum and then I started at this one. I thought I would be getting together with great, kind, and supporting martial artists, where I could ask questions and learn.

You were right.

when I came onto the forums I was very surprised to meet many rude and mean spirited people.

There's nobody truly mean spirited here. The criticism people offer is more often than not constructive. Being a martial artist and holding black belt does not make you perfect, it means you try to reach perfection. How people react to you here is an indicator of how you have presented yourself; a reflection of you.

so I thought it was my lack of knowledge, but then reading through posts I realized that people on these forums are just plain rude and mean-spirited. you can have two blackbelts discussing things but more than not it gets offensive and personal. I find this weird because all the martial artists I have talked to in person and on the forums preach about peace, respect, kindness, responsibility etc. so in fact there are so many martial artists that have failed to gain one of the most important aspects of martial arts: the concept of humility.

Things sometimes get personal because people feel passionately about what they do, and everyone's experience of martial arts is personal and different. That doesn't necessarily mean a lack of humility, it just means passion. Those with a more even handed approach are able to detach themselves from the emotion and respond without personal slight. That has been my experience here at MT, even with the more 'hot tempered' amongst the community: how you approach others determines how they react to you.

so then I started thinking...is it only artists on the internet? are you all old and tired and angry at the world? maybe.

Nope, that's people in real life in general, not just martial artists. Martial arts just makes it more obvious because it's a subject people feel passionately about. It's just as political in any sub-section of society involving levels of social status and control, especially when money and power are involved.

but again, now I am thinking there are bad artists and good artists....so is this what humanity and society is all about? evil and anger and hate? on a whole other level, evil is taking over this world.....and I think that one day in north America and Europe....people will start attacking Christian churches.....and then the real trouble begins.....

Humanity can be looked at in two ways: firstly, as a group that cannot be controlled. This group is part good, part bad, which is natural and is likely to remain the case.

Secondly, humanity can be looked at as individuals. Individuals have control over their own behaviour. If you want to change the group, you have to change yourself and the way you interact with others. That's the only control you have.

I won't comment on the religious aspect.

so now I think I am going to get off the forums and train my movements....I was so much more positive back then.

They call that cutting off your nose to spite your face. Or are you saying that you have learned nothing positive since being here?

and again....you can reply with "yes your stupid, yes you don't know anything....your posts are unintelligent"......but remember....you blackbelts attack each other when you should be a family of humility and justice....so....are you lacking something as martial artists? when yu get your blackbelt do you think your better than everybody? or it this about society being messed up?

None of the above. Those of us who hold black belt realise how little we know. Communicating that to a non-black belt, especially someone who does not train at a school, or have an instructor, is a difficult thing to do without it sounding patronising and personal. So I'll not say you know nothing, or that your posts lack intelligence. Just that I know only a little, and you may choose to acknowledge that you are also in a similar situation, and that your skills and abilities are likely to be different to those of people who have taken direct personal instruction.

So rather than feeling bitter at other martial artists and the world / society, look within and see what you might be able to change to influence the way that the people here react to you; what you can do to change the way society and other martial artists view you.

Please don't flounce off in a huff, there are a lot of people here you can learn from, who are keen to see you develop.

 

[jezr74]

I'd have to say as one of the less martial knowledgeable of the site,

As K-Man mentioned, ignore the study (in case you read those posts and are judging people by there reactions in there), there is much heated discussion and debate, but it's refreshing to me that people have a clear belief and are willing to show their cards. I find, even though there is much passionate discussion, if I post something in the martial sections, those same people answer and contribute without missing a beat or prejudiced.

I can see how some of the no-nonsense replies can be seen as rude, and it does take a little to get used to the different personalities. But from my own experience, and from listening in on other threads I might not be participating in. The same questions can come up a lot, and I see some people are fishing for a particular answer and discouraged when the answer they are looking for is not there. I've learnt to spot these post somewhat easily myself these days, although I leave it to the more knowledgeable and more articulate to cut to the chase so to speak. I also read a lot of people getting back the advice they don't want to hear.

As you get to know people, I don't think there is a bad apple in the bunch. But we all definitely have a different views.

And most of all, text on forums, like email can be messy and is very easy to miss interpret.

 

[SahBumNimRush]

I have nothing to add that has not already been stated above, but I would like to reinforce the opinion that MT is a forum with, overall, knowledgeable folks, most of whom are very humble. I get a lot out of MT, which is why I continue to return. I learn from folks on here, and I learn about myself on here.

I'm not sure where all of your pessimism is coming from, admittedly I haven't looked through your threads.

I would recommend you take the advise given above and take a fresh perspective about this and other forums, or you may not get the experience you are looking for.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

1) Martial artists are human. Many of us may have ideals of respect and humility, but in the grand scheme of things we have the same flaws as everyone else. This is no different from followers of a given religion or school of philosophy. For the most part we try to do the best we can and some manage to approximate our ideals a little more consistently than others, but no one succeeds all the time.

2) We seem to have some very different perceptions of the discussions on this forum. My observations indicate that the overwhelming majority of the conversations here are very civil. Personal attacks are rare and can lead to warnings and even bannings from the moderation staff. If you are reading these posts and honestly feeling that "more than not it gets offensive and personal", then I would respectfully suggest that you are reading something into the conversation that is very different from what the participants are intending.

3) I get the feeling that much of this is based on you taking personally the reactions to some of your questions and statements on the forum. In another recent thread you said "...I have done martial arts forums, blackbelts have been telling me that I have noting, I am nothing, I know nothing..." Let's be clear here. No one here is telling you that you have nothing, you are nothing, or that you know nothing. As far as we know, for example, you might have a wonderful family, you might be an outstanding teacher, and you might know all the best local bands in Toronto. You may have, be, and know all sorts of excellent things. What we are telling you is that your understanding of the martial arts is not where you think it is. This is neither an attack nor an insult. It doesn't matter how smart, how talented, or how hard-working you are - you can't get very far in the martial arts by teaching yourself out of books. You might not like that fact, but it's not a reflection on you, it's just how the martial arts work.

 

[WaterGal]

It's humanity. Martial artists are people like any other. This forum is not, from what I've seen, more hostile or critical than other forums.

It's easy, when you're talking to strangers on the internet, to interpret someone else's comment as being more critical than how it was intended. But also, I think people jump to giving criticism online more quickly than they would with someone they actually know. The lack of vocal tone, body language, and knowledge of the other person make navigating the conversation more difficult, and sometimes things get heated.

Also, just, in life, some people are just socially inept, or jerks, or nuts, or stupid, and bring that to online conversation. I've seen plenty of that in real life too, both in and out of martial arts.

 

[DennisBreene]

So, if you have hung into the forum long enough to read these responses, I hope you will realize that as a group, we care intensely about the progress of fellow martial artists. We don't dismiss any participant out of hand. I believe that this site has much to offer and hope that you will continue to participate. Wisdom is achieved in a halting fashion and at it's own pace. A few bruises in training is part of the process; our egos get similar bruises along the way when we are told truths at times. The bruises heal and we keep learning.

 

[Chris Parker]

I was going to leave this, as you said you were just going to stay home, away from the forums, but as you've stuck around (starting a new thread, with a seeming comedy bent, in the General section...), I might as well respond. And I'm not in a sugar-coating mood....

so right now I am teaching all day, going home taking care of my two children, then I train martial arts movements and exercises a couple times a week.

Okay. To give you an idea, my schedule is full-time work as well, including most weekends, and long/late shifts on Fridays, teaching on Tuesday and Thursday nights, training (formally) on Monday, Wednesday, and often Saturday nights, often teaching on Satudays when I have a weekend off (this Saturday I'm flying from Melbourne to Sydney for a class under my Chief Instructor), all of which entails around 5-6 hours of travel alone a week, in addition to my personal training schedule at home, and trying to have some form of social life. And do you know what the biggest difference between my story and yours is? You train what you call "martial arts movements"... I train martial arts.

I have been doing this for about 5 years, and now I am sparring with partners at my home.

Fine. But what are you sparring with/in? So far, you're getting together and playing with some partners... which does not constitute training in martial arts. Can you get benefits out of it? Sure! Can it be fun? Definitely! Does it mean that you have any experience or knowledge in martial arts? Nope. We'll revisit this.

I was looking around for an mma gym, found one, but I have decided to wait until my children are older, maybe in a year.

I'm assuming that you're waiting so that the kids are old enough to be left alone, or left with a babysitter.... in which case, cool, and I think it's a good, responsible plan. The priority has to be looking after your family. But, just because you've found an MMA gym, but haven't joined, doesn't mean you know what you're doing when it comes to martial arts yet. The problem is that you think you've done research (although this is actually going against your statements in earlier threads, where you said there wasn't really much in the way of MMA in your hometown, so you wanted to start your own with no experience other than books...), so you know what you're talking about. No, not yet.

so about December I started visiting one forum and then I started at this one. I thought I would be getting together with great, kind, and supporting martial artists, where I could ask questions and learn.

Well, let's examine that...

"Great"? Well, that's a matter of perspective. As people, I know a number of here that I would class as "great people"... even those I have disagreements with! "Great martial artists" might be a little harder to qualify... but there's certainly quite a few I highly respect here!

"Kind"? Again, that's a matter of perspective. What constitutes "kind" in this context?

"Supporting"? Really? Does that mean we were all supposed to tell you you were doing the right thing, your plans to open an MMA gym (although you didn't have any real experience, hadn't seen just how prevalent MMA and BJJ, the other art you said was missing, were around you, or that you didn't have any intention of "teaching strangers"?), you're learning "moves" from books that you try out in your home sparring matches with who knows who (no indication if they have any experience either), are all good, and you should keep it up, you're the second coming of Bruce Lee? Is that the type of support you were looking for? How about, as the common denominator here is the practice of martial arts (for most on the forum... we have had a number of parents of kids who do martial arts, but don't train themselves, come along to get some insight into what their kids do, for instance), we should perhaps look at "supporting" in that context? And, in that ideal, "supporting" might be to give you some insight into where you're going off the track, and how to get back onto it... telling you how to actually gain some experience, where to seek out instruction, and so on?

when I came onto the forums I was very surprised to meet many rude and mean spirited people.

Did you, though? How many here have you "met"?

so I thought it was my lack of knowledge, but then reading through posts I realized that people on these forums are just plain rude and mean-spirited.

Having a lack of knowledge isn't an issue... unless you keep arguing with people who do have knowledge, and are correcting you (to actively aid you, really). But, to get a better idea of what you're talking about (and to avoid assumptions), can you give some specific examples? Were these "rude and mean spirited" members in your threads, or were you reading such an attitude in other threads? Where has this impression come from?

you can have two blackbelts discussing things but more than not it gets offensive and personal. I find this weird because all the martial artists I have talked to in person and on the forums preach about peace, respect, kindness, responsibility etc. so in fact there are so many martial artists that have failed to gain one of the most important aspects of martial arts: the concept of humility.

Well, to let you know, you're not going to get "peace, kindness" etc out of me.... and I'm hardly going to say that "one of the most important aspects of martial arts (is) the concept of humility".... mainly because I don't think it is. Honestly, it's a modern, romanticized image that has little basis in historical arts, or reality. More often than not, it's something extolled, but not actually present in the methodology of the various arts themselves. Respect is there, but respect in context... mainly respect for what you can do, and what can be done to you, rather than the more generic "respect" often implied. Responsibility, well, again that comes down to the context of the word. In martial arts, you learn the consequences of your actions (or inaction), so that, if you decide to act, or not to, the consequences are on you... they are your responsibility. But "peace"? Possibly, depending on the intent of the art... I'd hardly say that it's a high emphasis in MMA, though. Or indeed a large number of older arts. "Kindness"? To quote Terry Pratchett's character of Death, instructing his apprentice, "You must learn compassion appropriate to the situation." "What's that in this case?" "A sharp blade.". And as far as "humility"... again, you're looking at MMA... how "humble" does Chael Sonnen come across as? In boxing, Anthony Mundine? I've known quite a number of wonderfully humble martial artists... but I've also met (and encountered) some incredibly lacking in any form of humility... egotistical, bullying, arrogant, conceited, superior-attitude-holding souls.... and these include some of the highest ranked individuals in their respective arts.

so then I started thinking...is it only artists on the internet? are you all old and tired and angry at the world? maybe.

Ha, I'm far more gentle and restrained online than off... but as to the rest, no. I stopped getting old years ago....

but again, now I am thinking there are bad artists and good artists....so is this what humanity and society is all about? evil and anger and hate?

Er... what? Martial artists are now the indication of what society is? Really?

on a whole other level, evil is taking over this world.....and I think that one day in north America and Europe....people will start attacking Christian churches.....and then the real trouble begins.....

Yeah... you're not making sense anymore.... unless you're saying that kids getting black belts are a sign of the apocalypse... and, for the record, the Churches started it.... but I'm glad to see that, according to your comments, Australia and Asia will be spared....!

so now I think I am going to get off the forums and train my movements....I was so much more positive back then. and again....

And here's where we get back to what I was mentioning earlier (still not sure where the connection with the "attacks on Christian churches" comes into it... quick question, though, are other religion's churches and places or worship spared, or are attacks on them just not as important?). You have no real background in martial arts, by your own comments here. Your "moves" come dominantly from books. When you used to "train your movements", before coming on the forums, there was no correction... no-one to tell you where you were going wrong, or to correct misunderstandings. Of course you were more positive then... there was nothing challenging your self-belief that you knew what you were doing, and talking about. Then you came online here, and it was obvious very quickly that you lacked any real grounding or background... so you were corrected, and told where you were going wrong. No, that doesn't feel "good", or "positive"... but here's the thing. It's how you get actual positive growth. By retreating back to where you felt safe and positive (in what you were doing), and, in essence, rejecting what advice you were given, what correction and new (better) information you were being presented with, you're just removing the option of learning and growing/improving, for the sake of "feeling good".

If we're going to look at what an ideal martial artist should be, distinct from the romanticized image presented earlier, I would say that a martial artist is someone who actively seeks out growth... they deliberately put themselves in potentially dangerous situations, to discover what they need to improve in. They seek out challenges, and to be put outside of their comfort zone (they move away from areas that are only there to make them "feel good"). Hell, the basic construct of a martial art student is someone who seeks to confront their own ability to handle violence... they put themselves in a situation where they are exposed to it constantly and consistently. And, without having that background (again, to be blunt, you bought some books [which means you sought a means to "study" away from others, where any failure wouldn't be seen], and train/spar at your home, with hand-chosen partners, all of which is a control mechanism, stopping you from embracing or even exposing yourself to any real challenges), you've come in here, and been exposed to some challenges to your beliefs... which has resulted in you saying "I think I'm going to get off the forums".... seriously, this is the opposite of martial artist behaviour, when it all comes down to it.

you can reply with "yes your stupid, yes you don't know anything....your posts are unintelligent"......but remember....you blackbelts attack each other when you should be a family of humility and justice....so....are you lacking something as martial artists?

Ha! "A family of humility and justice"? Seriously? Where did you get that from? The history of martial arts is replete with fracturing, violent fueds between different martial systems (seeking to prove superiority), secrets being held from others, and the only sense of "justice" being a form of "might makes right". I mean, one of the systems I train in, as I was discussing with some of the other students, has a simple attitude... "Kill the other guy". No humility, no justice, no peace, no kindness, no respect (other than for the fact that the other guy probably wants to do the same to you), just "kill the other guy". Even the idea of "don't get killed" takes a back-seat to "kill the other guy". In other words, I'd suggest that your take on what a martial artist is is what's lacking...

when yu get your blackbelt do you think your better than everybody? or it this about society being messed up?

There's no correlation between any of this. A Blackbelt is only something that has any meaning within the organization/school in which it was awarded.... and there's no connection to "society" being messed up or not.