Desirable Personality Characteristics! Popularity!

[Corporal Hicks]

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

One topic that I've been thinking about alot recently and studying in relation to others behaviour is the factors that make somebody popular or the characteristics that enable the increased chance of popularity!

Since studying pyschologly and researching the topics of relationships, I've noticed that certain factors i.e. traits or characteristics seem to make people more desirable, these include:

Warmth: Nobody seems to like somebody who is cold and uncaring
I guess warmth would make somebody seem postive warm and friendly and somebody you would want to be around whereas cold people dislike things, disparage them and are generally negative, therefore you could eventually associate negative aspects with these people.

Competence: We like people who are socially skilled, intelligent and competent, depending on the type of relationship we have with that person!

Attitude: Speaks for itself lol! Those the type of attitude you portray may or may not make you a more desirable person.

Is it the middle way that people take that makes them more popular and desirable?
i.e. not too friendly but not unkind, or not to posh or too rough (I know they are weak sterotypes), or too nice just with dignity.

Are there any other traits? Can people adopt these traits? For example could I change the way I am to improve my social skills and popularity, or are there other more powerful factors involved i.e. attitude and cultural similarity?
Its interesting (Imho) to watch these people with these 'traits' and to see how they act and interact and how others interact with them. Makes pyschology more interesting!

Thanks for your time!
Regards

 

[Ceicei]

Becoming more liked by others is within our control. For example, smiling and saying "Hi!" more often to people around you does make a big difference. Also a reduction of making negative comments and focusing more on saying positive comments and taking proactive actions (instead of just waiting around) does lend more to developing better characteristics. Being more of a listener than a talker helps. Just make a simple goal, work on that daily for a certain number of days, then it will become easier. Pick another goal and so on. Changing to become a more charismatic person doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, and only if you decide whether it is worthwhile.

- Ceicei

 

[bignick]

Looking this good doesn't hurt either....:ultracool

 

[Simon Curran]

Personally, I don't find popularity is all that important to me.

That being said, I would consider myself neither popular, nor unpopular, just a nice guy (I hope...)
I think popularity is fickle, if people can't accept someone the way they are, then that is up to them, nobody is saying that we all have to like everybody all of the time.
One of the things I have noticed is that the things that make one person popular in their particular clique would make them unpopular in another, for example martial arts; we all appreciate dedicated and knowledgable martial artists, but in some circles we are seen as something of an anomaly, with our interest in, and sometimes prediposition for, violence...
Just my random thoughts on the matter

 

[ginshun]

Physical attractiveness goes further toward making somebody "popular" than anything else IMO. Popularity is generally a term that I associate with high school, after that it seemed to pretty much loose all importance. High school kids are superficial, plain and simple. If you are the prettiest girl or most handsome guy in the school, you are going to be popular, regardless of your personallity.

The amount or money you have is probably second. If you where all designer clothes and drive a corvette, that is pretty much instant popularity.

All other things being equal, the personality traits you listed might gain importance, but in the real world (if you can call high school that) all other things are rarely equal.

 

[DavidCC]

Schools are a closed, limited population, and so concepts like "popularity" or "reputation" are subject to increased importance compared to the rest of the world... you'll switch form "being popular" to "having friends" - similar, but diffrerent

 

[Jonathan Randall]

Don't overlook the importance of character. People "know" who is trustworthy and who is not. Personality only works for a while if the inner being sucks.