Confucious Say

Wise Polish man say ...

a little Pole goes a long way.

Wise Polish woman say ...

not enough Pole go nowhere.
 
... virginity like bubble... one prick all gone...

man who run in front of car get tired
 
On the way home one night, Mae passed a road sign that said "Dangerous Curves"... she said, ohhhh someone knows I'm coming !
... ohhhh
Mae West
 
To err is human -- but it feels divine!
-- Mae West


It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West


Why don't you come up and see me sometime, when I got nothing on but the radio?
-- Mae West


A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West


Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
-- Mae West


He who hesitates is last.
-- Mae West


I used to be Snow White but I drifted.
-- Mae West


"Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!"
"Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie".
-- Mae West


It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
-- Mae West


I've been things and done places.
-- Mae West


When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
-- Mae West


When a girl goes wrong - men go right after her.
-- Mae West


So many men, so little time.
-- Mae West


You're never too old to become younger.
-- Mae West


You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.
-- Mae West


Those who are easily shocked, should be shocked more often.
-- Mae West


Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
-- Mae West


I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West


Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
-- Mae West


I've been in more laps than a napkin.
-- Mae West


He who hesitates is a damned fool.
-- Mae West


Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -- and another, in case it doesn't rain.
-- Mae West


Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
-- Mae West


She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
-- Mae West


I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
-- Mae West


Mae: "How tall are you ?"
Man: "Six foot seven."
Mae: "Well, let's forget about the six foot and talk about the seven inches".
--Mae West


I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better.
--Mae West


I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you.
--Mae West


It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any.
--Mae West


It's better to be looked over than overlooked.
--Mae West


You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.
--Mae West


I wrote this story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation, but never missed it.
--Mae West


Marriage is a fine institution - but I'm not ready for an institution.
--Mae West


It's not what you do ... it's how you do it.
--Mae West


A hard man is good to find.
--Mae West


Question: Ever met a man that could make you happy?
Mae: Several times.
--Mae West


He's so crooked he uses a corkscrew for a ruler.
--Mae West


I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day, and Fox all night.
--Mae West


Why don't you come up and have a little ... scotch and soffa.
--Mae West
 
Sarah said:
Homer: Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!"
I have a Homer toy that says that!


Confucius say it's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
 
Ellen DeGeners - You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
 
"When Fate taps you on the shoulder, you'd best pay attention. Unfortunately, she has that blasted habit of tapping you on the opposite shoulder, so that when you turn around she's actually on your other side, giggling like a schoolgirl. I hate that." - Har'Lea'Quinn
 
If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all. (Rodney Dangerfield)

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. (Rodney Dangerfield)
 
Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have crappy time.

Cheers,

Ryan
 
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say - Chris Rock


If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty - Chirs Rock
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You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha! - Donkey
 
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.

-- Mae West
 
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

 
Passionate kiss like spider web - lead to undoing of fly.

 
From a T-shirt in Europe:

Heaven is : where the Italians are the lovers, the French are the cooks, the English are the police, the Germans are the engineers, and the Swiss run it all.

Hell is : where the English are the cooks, the Germans are the police, the Swiss are the lovers, the French are the engineers, and the Italians run it all.
 
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