My own take on this and it may mirror a number of the responses here but here goes.
Reading the thread and your initial post I was brought to mind something Bruce Lee talked about in his "last interview". Lee was talking about two things that were "opposite" each other yet, and I want to go with the
concept here okay (remember he was a philosophy major), he said :
"... here it is, natural instinct, and here is control, you are to combine the two in harmony, if you have one to the extreme you become very unscientific, if you have another to the extreme you become all of the sudden a mechanical man...
So with that; the
concept of the two extremes which are struggling for dominance in your life (so it seems) are whats giving you the greatest trouble, yet you cannot find no center? Find no harmony in the two? In one t.v. show Lee admonishes a blind character (Longstreet) to "...listen, LISTEN!!" he's talking more than just physically listening, he also means spiritually listening. Study also the Yin-Yang symbol. Look at it, what does it represent? :yinyang:
Believing and living in Christ is a wonderful thing for many people. Karate, "Martial Arts" is a wonderful thing for many people. Combining the two is a wonderful thing... for a few people. Why? I believe because people don't know how to listen.
For me it is because I have found a center or found a way to allow the two to compliment each other and I mean on a spiritual basis. Awareness of my soul and the chi it has allows me to do this. Martial arts has allowed me to instruct my being with being still, to listen to what's going on spiritually, inside me. My knowledge and faith in my Lord/God helps this awareness because my faith has made me aware of my spirit/soul. Knowing it's there and knowing that because of the unlimited power that God has instilled in the human soul, I am responsible to seek out it's potential and be aware (if not capable) of what it can do. Chi has been mentioned in this thread and in my post. It's real, it's a fact and it exists. It is the
energy produced by the soul. Without it our brains would not function, our hearts would not beat, our lungs could not breathe in/out air and our muscles would not move/grow.
Through our respective journeys in MA we learn at first to combine in harmony two things, our minds and our bodies. Using our minds to learn the techniques and training our bodies to perform them until they become (as Lee said) "natural instinct", if you've trained long enough you're able to do it without thinking. When you have achieved this level however (as I believe) you have or are just beginning to learn how to combine not only mind and body but also the soul (the "control" that Lee was talking about), because, and I believe this strongly, that the soul tells the mind to tell the body to do this, move this way, act thus and say this and so on... control, so combining mind/body/spirit thus is becoming as God/Christ/Holy Spirit-Ghost 3 separate entities working as 1, or as one purpose.
My own journey in this has been long and it is far from finished. But learning what I have so far I'm happy to share, even if it isn't for you then perhaps I have at least given food for thought or given you something to compare your beliefs with.
But for me, it's truth. For someone else their truths are theirs. You, I believe must find yours. And the searching comes from within and yes, through prayer and meditation.
My truths came not only from myself but from what I've learned from others and their truths. It's a humbling experience to be sure. But if we, like Christ asks us to do: "have faith as little children", we can accomplish wondrous things for
ourselves and have the (inner) peace that so many long for and never find.