hardheadjarhead
Senior Master
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's outrageous!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your parrots over to my house and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . . that...that...awful phrase . . . in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them and, after a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES--$50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the cop, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same cop in the same area when he noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he decided to catch up with them -- when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"TWO FALLEN ANGELS SEEKING PETER---$50.00."
An elderly couple had their periodical checkup with their doctor.
The husband was called in first for review of health problems. "How is everything going with you, George?" the doctor asked.
"Very good, thanks. . . but I gotta tell you, Doc, last night I got up to pee and God turned the bathroom light on for me."
"Wow, George, that's some story. . . "
A little later, the Doctor called George's wife in for consultation, and he asked how things were going with her. "It sounds as if you are holding your own," the doctor summed up after hearing her very common complaints. "However, is George having any problems out of the ordinary?" She replied in the negative.
"I must tell you that he thinks God may have turned the bathroom light on for him this morning."
"Damn!" she exclaimed. "He peed in the refrigerator again!"
Regards,
Steve
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's outrageous!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your parrots over to my house and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . . that...that...awful phrase . . . in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them and, after a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES--$50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the cop, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same cop in the same area when he noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he decided to catch up with them -- when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"TWO FALLEN ANGELS SEEKING PETER---$50.00."
An elderly couple had their periodical checkup with their doctor.
The husband was called in first for review of health problems. "How is everything going with you, George?" the doctor asked.
"Very good, thanks. . . but I gotta tell you, Doc, last night I got up to pee and God turned the bathroom light on for me."
"Wow, George, that's some story. . . "
A little later, the Doctor called George's wife in for consultation, and he asked how things were going with her. "It sounds as if you are holding your own," the doctor summed up after hearing her very common complaints. "However, is George having any problems out of the ordinary?" She replied in the negative.
"I must tell you that he thinks God may have turned the bathroom light on for him this morning."
"Damn!" she exclaimed. "He peed in the refrigerator again!"
Regards,
Steve
