How many poppy seed muffins did you eat? I have heard about that possibly showing up as you smoking weed on a drug test. But thought it was just a excuse people used or that you would have to eat a whole dozen poppy seed muffins to get a positive result.
So how did you convince your employer it was false and save your career
This is going to be a long story….but it’s a pretty good story.
Poppy seeds give a positive result, but not for weed....read on, brother, it's nuts.
I ate three lemon poppy seed muffins at noontime after teaching a morning class to police officers at my dojo. Went into work (4-12 shift) knowing my yearly physical at work would be that night.
About a week later, Christmas Eve day, actually, there’s a message on my answering machine. I was scheduled to work Christmas, I always worked Christmas because I don’t have kids, wanted the guys with kids to have the day off.
I play the message and it’s my boss, who I’m close with. I can tell by his voice something is wrong. He says “Ah, yeah, don’t report to work tomorrow, please meet me by the main entrance on Monday morning.”
I’m looking at the answering machine thinking, “Uh oh, this ain’t good.”
When you consume poppy seeds and get drug tested while they are in your system you will test positive for
Heroin, Morphine and ALL opiates. Read that again, that’s God honest truth. Trust me on this, I wish I didn’t know.
My boss immediately called the drug company and said this couldn’t be. He said “the guy’s our DT instructor, he works double shifts training guys and never slows down. If you told me he tested positive for amphetamines I could maybe believe it - but have you ever seen people on heroin? This just doesn’t make sense.”
They assured him it was correct. That all test samples are split in two. Any positive test and the other half of the sample is sent to another lab for verification. It got the same result. And this doesn’t fall under the umbrella of a “false positive” poppy seeds test that way, they come from the poppy plant.
My boss was heartbroken. He told me what was up when I met him that morning. My jaw dropped. I said “WTF, heroin? And who the hell does morphine? Are you shipping me, you know this is wrong, this is crazy.”
They allowed me to resign. Cleared the floor when I cleaned out my two lockers (I had one for uniforms and one for workout clothes/training equipment) to spare me embarrassment in front of the other officers.
I’m in a state of shock riding the commuter line home. My career in police work is over. And you know how word gets out, how many leaks there are in that business. And I also run a dojo, and there’s a kids class. I’m thinking “everyone is going to hear about this. That I take heroin."
This was back in the day. A year later there was actually an episode on Steinfield about this. So, anyway, I get home and call my wife at work. After a minute she says, “hey, wait a minute, I read an article in the paper a couple years ago about a cop who tested positive from a poppy seed bagel.
So I go to the bakery above my dojo, get the batter they use for the muffins, get the muffins themselves, put on a suit and a tie and head to the drug lab which is a few towns away from me.
I’m met at the door by security, I tell them I want to speak to the Director. But the Director takes Christmas week off. I tell them my tale of woe and said this place has ruined my life, I need to speak to somebody.
The security guys, bless their heart, said “C’mon” and bring me into the lab (which is a big no no)
I meet the head lab guy, Rick Schmidline. I’m carrying my bag of muffin batter and bag of muffins. As I start to tell him my tale he interrupts me and says “Of course it tested positive, it’s poppy seeds.” Goes on to tell me “
If corporate America and
Law Enforcement actually read all the info we send them as a courtesy they would have known this."
He tested the batter, emulsified (?) the muffins, all tested positive for Heroin, all tested positive for ALL opiates, all tested positive for Morphine. He also gave me a urine test, tested it, clean, and gave me that. He wrote up a detailed report, signed it and gave it to me. He also gave me some phone numbers - Dr Carl Slavaka, Head of National Health Institute in Wilkes Bare Pennsylvania and Captain David Smith, Chief Toxicology Officer of all Armed Services personnel. Captain Smith was stationed at Tripler Medical Center, Honolulu Hawaii.
I remember all these names because they were all wonderful and helped me a great deal. Capt Smith said “You have a fax machine at your disposal?” I said I did. He said “put a big bin in front of it, I’ll fax you the history of this, maybe your department will learn something.”
I requested a hearing at work, and was granted one. At every entrance to our secure facility was a clip board, pics of people who were not allowed into the building unless escorted by a Captain. My pic was at the top of the list. All the guys called me at home, I told them I can't tell you anything yet. They told me the rumors were flying - "I beat somebody up, I threw somebody out a window, I was banging the boss's wife. I told them it was all BS. Told them I'd get back to them.
Mary F, who was the VP over my section head (my boss’s boss) heard my case. I presented her with all the paperwork, including a notarized letter, on official Boston PD stationary, from the half dozen cops in my class the day I ate the muffins and was tested. Also a notarized statement from the bakery owner saying he served them to me. And I knew the exact date because every student of every class, including the morning class, has to sign in before stepping onto the workout area.
Man, was she mad. Not at me, at the drug company. She told me she had called them as well as my section head, and was assured the tests were reliable. I told her, “yeah, but what I learned at the testing facility is the person(s) you spoke to were salesmen who sell the program, not anyone who actually works in the lab. This guy here, I pointed to Rick who helped in the lab - he says the salesmen have never set foot in the actual lab, probably don’t even know where it is.”
She told me, “I will deal with them later. I’m so sorry for what you went through. You’ll be immediately reinstated, get your back pay of course. On a personal note, Buka, you look horrible. I bet you haven’t been sleeping well. I told her, no I really haven’t. She said, “Would like a week off with pay so you can rest up?” I said, Gee, Mary, two would be better.” (I figured, why not give it a shot) She said, “Done. Go home, rest up, see you in a couple of weeks.”
To finish this crazy story, I was to keep my mouth shut about what happened. I follow orders, you have to in any rank and file system. I privately protested to the boss, telling him “you have to let the guys know, it might happen again to one of them.” But there's more than one way to skin a cat. Or a boss.
A year later…..a couple weeks before Christmas, the day shift always has a little Christmas party where everyone brings in food from home. Wednesdays is an overlap day, there’s more cops on duty than any other day - Four day work week guys, five day work week guys, part timers, everyone. Physicals are also right around Christmas time.
I brought in one gross of lemon poppy seed muffins. One hundred and forty four of those suckers , fresh baked easy that morning, and told the guys you gotta try these, they’re great!” (Heh, heh, heh) Command staff had no choice but to rescheduled the physicals and informed all officers and staff about poppy seeds and failed drug tests.
Every time I see poppy seeds, my mind goes back to that crazy time.
