As with any conversation, we have to choose something. We can't discuss "engineering" without agreeing what falls within that area (do industrial engineering, software engineering, etc.?).Your second paragraph is exactly why there's the issue. If you have one definition and I have another, how do we choose which definition to use? Or are we both trying to refer to the other persons definition while also talking about our own? It just opens up the door for confusion.
Also, this thread shows that it's not malicious. Your take, my take and Steve's take on SD were all different, which played a part in your debate. I assumed I had been clear with mine (reading over it again it's very clear I was not), and I doubt either you or Steve have the intent of "strawman arguments".
Generally, one of two approaches is pretty successful, unless the definition of the term is the actual point of discussion. If you posted first, I usually try to work with your definition, noting that mine is different (to avoid confusion in other threads/discussions). Or, you and I take hold of whichever best facilitates the discussion (most expansive or most restrictive). That requires some cooperation, though. Some folks will simply not cooperate. There's plenty @Steve and I disagree on, but we usually manage to agree on the usage of terms in any given discussion (again, unless the usage of terms is what's under debate).
Of course, if I want to be difficult, I can simply keep using my definition to show flaws in your statements (which there will be, since your statements were made with a different definition). So, if you are talking about Jeeps (uppercase, the brand) and their properties, I could keep insinuating statements about other vehicles commonly included in the "jeep" (lowercase, casual usage, not the brand) category. Every error I point out would be factually correct, but inappropriate to your actual statements. This is one of the most infuriating types of strawman arguments (and something I see on MT from time to time).