Alcohol Warning Labels

[edhead2000]

Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your *** kicked.
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.

 

[Chronuss]

Originally posted by edhead2000
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

..I need no alcohol for that to happen.

 

[KenpoTess]

*thinking we would really 'dance' on Friday nights (triangle stepping) after a couple :rofl:

 

[Chronuss]

methinks that wouldn't be dancing...methinks that's called staggering...

 

[edhead2000]

I've seen people who consider that dancing.......when they're sober.

 

[Chronuss]

Originally posted by edhead2000
I've seen people who consider that dancing.......when they're sober.

that's when this one comes into play...

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

 

[KenpoTess]

My knee is still twitching after Friday night..

 

[Cryozombie]

HAHAHA

I should Put those on my homebrew labels. I just bottled a batch of Sparkling Hard Cider this morning... that one needs...

"WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy."

Since its a favorite of my Female Friends.

Well, Ok, I dont really have female friends, but I can pretend..,

Well, ok, I dont have guy friends either... but My Dog...

Well, Ok, he's not a dog he's a hampster.

And he did die last week, but I got him propped up in the cage...

:rofl:

 

[edhead2000]

I think you might need to get out more often..........

 

[KenpoTess]

Nooooooooooo.. the world is not ready for him

 

[edhead2000]

We shall band together and prepare.

 

[KenpoTess]

we shall need much ammunition of sorts
and a few drinks *G*

 

[edhead2000]

Someone told me once that guns and alcohol didn't mix, but as long as we just have the ammunition and no guns, we should be fine. hehe.

 

[Chronuss]

I think we should call ATF and tell them thanks for the idea.

 

[KenpoTess]

I much prefer my drink without the explosive effects ...

 

[edhead2000]

Pop rocks are good in drinks for the non-fatal explosive effect.

 

[Chronuss]

Originally posted by KenpoTess
I much prefer my drink without the explosive effects ...

there're so many names of drinks I could name right here...:rofl:

 

[Cryozombie]

Ill bring the Drinks. What kidn of beer should I make you?

And I have ammo too!

HAHAHAHA

THE WORLD IS NOT READY!

 

[TheRustyOne]

world will never be ready...why do you think they confine us to this message board??


...dancing like a retard...i do that sober...i am such a white girl...

 

[Chronuss]

Originally posted by Technopunk
Ill bring the Drinks. What kidn of beer should I make you?

...something that's not too heavy...