Yeah, funny thing about that. I did that once. It is easy to slip into the mindset of "this is easy white belt stuff, and I'm really a black, so I'll just take it easy for a while until we get to "my level."" You work "back up to your level."
Now, I'm not at all suggesting that this would be your mindset, especially given the effort you are putting in just to be there, but wearing the black belt puts a heap of responsibility on you. This way, you don't get to "work back up to your level." You are starting there! It's a new school to you, so although you are not expected to be a Tracy's/Ted Sumner black belt, you have to be one in every other aspect.
You have to train a little harder, show a little more respect, and, with humility, you have to represent everything that went into that belt around your waist.
Once you're in the club, you're in the club.
Yeah, I know, I know. It's sometimes a tough club to be in.
Here's the truth of the matter. I earned my blackbelt at the green young age of 16, and in a fairly quick amount of time compared to others. My instructors felt it was appropriate, and felt I was ready for it, and at that time I did too.
In retrospect, I have sometimes questioned that decision. Was I too young? Was it too fast? I don't really know, and I don't mean to cast my instructors in a poor light because they are good people and gave me what they had and I have tremendous respect for them.
But I sometimes wonder if there was a lot to learn that I might have missed. So when I decided to take classes with Mr. Sumner, I was excited that he is held in such high regard in the Tracy world, and he is someone who REALLY REALLY knows the stuff, and i can see that is true even after just three classes with his group. Ted is tremendous, over and above others who deserve a lot of respect as good and talented kenpoists and instructors in their own right. I can see why he is really a teacher of teachers.
I was excited by this prospect that I had a chance to retread and retrain and start over and fill in any of the holes that might be in my earlier training. So I really felt (feel) like I am starting over, and that is also how he is teaching me, so it's exactly what I was hoping for. Along with this, in my own head I felt like I was willing to put my blackbelt aside until I retrained, and maybe was more deserving of it. That is why I put on a new white belt, and he called me out on it (good naturedly of course), so I put on the old black.
So that is the mental and emotional process that I have been going thru with regard to this.
Granted, in the last 18 years or so I have trained with some wonderful teachers in other arts. I guess I feel that given my range of training I kind of made up for any deficiencies and perhaps deserve the rank in a more abstract way. But I wanted to make sure my kenpo is strong, so that my rank that I hold IN KENPO, is deserved, regardless of any accomplishments I have in other arts.
So there ya go.
Thanks everyone for your support and good thoughts on this. I am really enjoying the whole thing.