a lack of parenting skills...?

[Sapper6]

Parents Go on Strike, Move to Front Yard


http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041208/ap_on_fe_st/parents_on_strike_2

what is this crap, new-age parenting...? what happened to a good 'ole fashioned *** whipping?

what a discrace :whip:

 

[heretic888]

Because, clearly, "New Age" parenting and physically assaulting a teenager are the only parenting options out there.

 

[shane23ss]

i think those parents have lost their mind. no way would i "move out" of my own house because my kids wouldn't clean up. My dad didn't.lol

 

[RandomPhantom700]

I'm sorry, but those parents sound just as whiney as their kids sound lazy. "Our kids are acting like kids act sometimes, so rather than use any discipline, we're gonna move out and pout in the front lawn". I think a more traditional method of unplugging the damned internet/television/phone, or maybe ransoming the car keys until the kids shape up would be a better approach.

This isn't "new-age parenting", this is an utter lack of parenting. And Sapper, do you actually have any kids?

 

[Rynocerous]

You know what? If those parents instllied dicipline while those brats were young, they wouldn't have that problem...


Cheers,

Ryan

 

[shesulsa]

Oh, I dunno, sometimes less is more. I like the fact that the kids have to do their own laundry and chase after their parents for a change - live in their own filth and have no one to blame or gripe about but themselves and each other.

Anyone who has raised teens will know what a ... "unique" situation it affords a person.

The realistic circumstances when they become adults is not getting beaten within an inch of their lives, and they may or may not discipline themselves to clean up after themselves once they grow and leave without repercussions except that their roommates would indeed move out and their boyfriend or girlfriend would leave them and move out - or kick them out.

So, c'est la vie - let them lie in their own filth - until they clean it up.

 

[Sapper6]

This isn't "new-age parenting", this is an utter lack of parenting. And Sapper, do you actually have any kids?

um, yes i do, and they clearly understand who's in charge. and btw, i don't beat my children either so don't be mislead by my "***-whipping" phrase. that would be a metaphor

clearly dicipline is lacking in that household, on both parts.

 

[TigerWoman]

Well as others have stated usually if you have good parenting skills, are around enough to actually do parenting, this kind of stuff shouldn't happen.

Slowly they get more independent and stretch those boundaries. Kids that haven't been assigned and expected to share responsibilities will test parents on them especially when not enforced. It takes work on the parents part early on and consistent on the job supervision.

That boy was 17, considered an adult in one year. He should be almost "there" and know what responsibility is in the household. How would he ever maintain a job or keep himself on track in college or keep an apartment?

I don't think the parents have abandoned them quite but the 17 year old isn't the parent to the twelve year old. The girl at that age is moldable, amiable, seeking to please usually, not a teen yet.

If both kids went to summer camp and were assigned duties, what would happen if they didn't do the kitchen chores rotation or cleaned their cabin? Probably more of the same until they figured it out that it wasn't going away until the jobs were done and until then summer camp was not going to be fun.

Yeah, I would have taken away all pleasure activities too, grounded them, and made them get their stuff done. But I have been an at-home mom (whlle working). I would venture that, that front yard camp was also that couple's vacation time. Not the brightest idea, more like a last ditch effort to teach their kids the hard way for what they should have been learning all along.. BTW, I do have a 17 yr. old son. TW

 

[Phoenix44]

You know what? If those parents instllied dicipline while those brats were young, they wouldn't have that problem...

Thank you.

 

[RandomPhantom700]

um, yes i do, and they clearly understand who's in charge. and btw, i don't beat my children either so don't be mislead by my "***-whipping" phrase. that would be a metaphor

Pardon the presumption then, I've just met one too many who've said similar things, but meant them quite literally.

 

[raedyn]

Well, maybe those parents could have prevented getting there with more discipline when the kids were younger. But now that they got to this point, drastic measures are probably the only things that will work. If they have a 17 yr old and a 12 yr old, and their biggest concern is messiness, then they haven't screwed up too badly as parents. I know plenty of good people that have bigger problems with their teens than that.

I'm uncomfortable with the whole idea of us sitting back and criticising someone's parenting without knowing the whole story, anyways. Too often, people like to jump to conclusions and tell parents what a bad job they are doing - especially people with no kids!

 

[shesulsa]

I'm uncomfortable with the whole idea of us sitting back and criticising someone's parenting without knowing the whole story, anyways. Too often, people like to jump to conclusions and tell parents what a bad job they are doing - especially people with no kids!

Thank you, Raedyn. Armchair parenting is the easiest kind to do. I thought I knew how to raise kids too, until I actually had them. Parents DO have a great deal to say in how their children turn out, however once they reach a certain age and begin to develop a mind of their own (whose stupid idea was that, anyway?) one cannot count on one's parenting alone to guide the teen. It is the most difficult time to parent, I think.

Above, all, I hope these kids get the message and the parents move back in soon. And, this option is, I think, better than sending them off to boot camp for troubled teens later.

Ya never know what you're gonna have to deal with.

 

[Flatlander]

My dad used beer. The reward system works well.

 

[loki09789]

Oh, I dunno, sometimes less is more. I like the fact that the kids have to do their own laundry and chase after their parents for a change - live in their own filth and have no one to blame or gripe about but themselves and each other.

Anyone who has raised teens will know what a ... "unique" situation it affords a person.

The realistic circumstances when they become adults is not getting beaten within an inch of their lives, and they may or may not discipline themselves to clean up after themselves once they grow and leave without repercussions except that their roommates would indeed move out and their boyfriend or girlfriend would leave them and move out - or kick them out.

So, c'est la vie - let them lie in their own filth - until they clean it up.

I wouldn't do it, but if it works (and it isn't considered abuse in some legal sense) go for it. Your house, your rules. The kids will probably simply change to avoid the attention from the 'freaky parents.' But there is something to be said for 'reality training' instead of beating your kids and lecturing to them.

THis situation forces them to experience how much they can/have to do to take care of themselves when Mom and Dad don't - possibly instilling some experiencal appreciation for what does get done for them...

It is no different in theory than 'Scenario training' in martial arts/military training or 'thematic units' in school. It might be more dramatic, but it does teach lessons that yelling at them won't.

 

[TonyM.]

Those folks need to be the FNG's at a county lockup. I took the garden hose to my kids room when it got out of control. The more screaming about it the more everything got hosed down. I only had to do it once.

 

[shesulsa]

Those folks need to be the FNG's at a county lockup. I took the garden hose to my kids room when it got out of control. The more screaming about it the more everything got hosed down. I only had to do it once.

:lol: My husband has threatened to build a home with concrete walls and floors with a drain in the middle of the floor so we could do just that - hose everything down - and our kids are not that bad. Too funny!

 

[AnimEdge]

anyone here heard of Maddox? Who has the greatest website in the universe? he has a nice 'informitive' page about child disapline(sp) they should check out

Me though i have no kids(im 18), and when i do, ill have no problem giving then a swift kick(metaphore) in the ****, if parents would displine there kids then they wont act up, everwatch non-cable tv in the noonish time? you should and tell me these kids dont desearve a good hit, the reason these kids do what they do is becouse they get away with it they now that if they dont do it there parents will, nothin is better than when a kid is acting up in wallmart and (with good reason) one of there parents gives um a good smack on the ***.
Parents have become weak.

Now what worked for me is when my parents followed through on there threats, they would hit(well not hit but you know what i mean) untill i was 10ish by then it doesnt really work without causing a seen, so they should find there weekness, mine was computers and electronics, my mom said that if i did *insert something here* again or i did something wrong, they would physicly come in to my room and remove my tv, remove my psx or computer, infact the took of the door to my room one time, for the legnth of time they said they would, it wasnt no if you be nice ill give you something or half **** threats parents need to get a backbone

man i have been watching to much noon to 3ish tv, baka kids

 

[Phoenix44]

I've found that in a lot of cases, the outcome for a kid is very predictable from the family dynamic early on.

When I see a parent say "No," to their 2 year old, but give in after the kid cries, I promise you they will have a spoiled, unpleasant 9 year old, and an incorrigible 14 year old.

When I see a parent cater to their 6 year old, waiting on him/her hand and foot, never showing the kid how to set the table, do his/her own homework, or hang up his/her own clothes, I promise you they will have a very demanding teenager--and a very incapable adult.

Obviously, innate temperament accounts for something. But I've seen these patterns over and over again.

I have 2 teenagers. They are both good students, athletes, and very decent human beings. I never lifted a hand to them, but there was always a consequence to their actions--good or bad--No meant No, and responsibility meant more freedom. If you apply that principle when they're 3, you don't have to be a strict disciplinarian when they're 13.