25 rules to help women understand men

[Gary Crawford]

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up...don't come tell us about it. Put it down.

Don't cut your hair. Ever.

Don't make us guess.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to...expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Some times, we're not thinking about you.

We're never thinking about "the relationship."

Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different -- it's just like every other cat.

Dogs are better than any cats.

Sunday = sports.

Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

Anything you wear is fine. really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail. use it if you have to, but don't expect us to like it.

Your brother is an idiot.

Ask for what you want. subtle hints don't work.

No...we don't know what day it is. Mark anniversaries.

Share the bathroom.

Share the closet.

"Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.

A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. see a doctor.

Nothing says "i love you" like sex in the morning.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your oil.

Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

 

[Chronuss]

A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. see a doctor.

does that hit that nail on the head. :roflmao:

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up...don't come tell us about it. Put it down.

Fair enough but then the same rule applies to your um...thingy... :lookie:

Don't cut your hair. Ever.
Plan on building a tower or something? Does that apply to underarm and leg hair too? :idunno:


Don't make us guess.
Guess what I think about that one?

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to...expect an answer you don't want to hear.
So what are ya telling me here? I should just lie to ya and charge it?

Some times, we're not thinking about you.
PHEW that's a relief!

We're never thinking about "the relationship."
You must mean "the ultimate relationship" - the one women only can dream about!

Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different -- it's just like every other cat.
:wavey: Yeah bah bye!

Dogs are better than any cats.
Well who says doggies aren't cute? It's not the dog ya see, it's the guy who's acting like a dog!:burp:

Sunday = sports.
If curling's a sport shopping's a sport. Thanks for this one Sport!

Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
Fun sponge!

Anything you wear is fine. really.
Yeah ok I'll be packing my closet with muumuus see what ya have to say then...

You have enough clothes.
Ha gis don't count silly!

You have too many shoes.
It depends, on another thread it said 42% of women throw them at their men! - have to keep me a pile fer that!

Crying is blackmail. use it if you have to, but don't expect us to like it.
I uh uh uh suddenly feel like bawling!!!!:waah:

Your brother is an idiot.
Only that one time remember I told you when he took apart my banana seat bicycle to make himself a better bike? Otherwise are you forgetting how big and strong and how much better than you he is?!!!

Ask for what you want. subtle hints don't work.
I want you...................................................................................................oops little problem with my keyboard there I was in the middle of something what was it? AHH yes, to stop annoying me!

No...we don't know what day it is. Mark anniversaries.
Oh yeah let's mark that on in RED looking forward to another Crappy Anniversay gift I mean Happy Anniversary!

Share the bathroom.
Why??? Just go to any men's room surely it'd be faster there's never a line!

Share the closet.
Have you not been paying attention? You get one.... it's at the end of the dark hallway and you get to decorate it and cram all your stuff in there!:boing2:


"Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.
Well now you are just plain confusing me....then why do you want to know why when I say no?:whip:

A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. see a doctor.
That is the problem...been seeing him! :xtrmshock

Nothing says "i love you" like sex in the morning.
Yeah ok! Now remember though that self love is the highest form of love... :inlove:

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
opcorn:On this one we agree reading those sub titles to you is getting annoying!

Check your oil.
I checked it ....last year!

Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
Well hello! No brainer!!!! The male attention span is way too short for 50!:idunno:

 

[Chronuss]

...hell, you're lucky we can do twenty-five when we've only got ten fingers and ten toes....

 

[mj-hi-yah]

...hell, you're lucky we can do twenty-five when we've only got ten fingers and ten toes....

Yes good when the young ones get it! Your mama done good!

 

[Chronuss]

I've learned when to keep quiet....mama didn't raise no fool.

 

[Lisa]

I've learned when to keep quiet....mama didn't raise no fool.

Yay! One guy gets it! That should be on the 10 rules for men. Just know when to be quiet! You had a good Mama Chronuss!

 

[bignick]

here's a rule...

we're a lot simpler than you sometimes try to make us out to be...

motive of operation for guys:
1) eat
2) sleep
3) go to bathroom (after 1 & 2)

 

[KenpoTess]

Understand Men?? Why would I want to do such an absurd thing?
Egad... I have much better things to do with my spare time..

 

[shesulsa]

((((MJ))))
​

I was gonna reply line by line like you did, but you did so well, I feel like I'd be :deadhorse.

((((Tess))))
​

The more I understand men, the more I love my dog.

 

[mj-hi-yah]

here's a rule...

we're a lot simpler than you sometimes try to make us out to be...

motive of operation for guys:
1) eat
2) sleep
3) go to bathroom (after 1 & 2)

See now this one's paper trained :whip:cool!

You know I'm just teasing ya right big 6'5" Nick?

 

[Feisty Mouse]

:boing2: Excellent, Tess!

 

[mj-hi-yah]

I was gonna reply line by line like you did, but you did so well, I feel like I'd be :deadhorse.

​

Thanks and I got your back covered sista! ​

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Understand Men?? Why would I want to do such an absurd thing?
Egad... I have much better things to do with my spare time..

LOL :lol: Good Queen I suppose I need a whack :whip: for wasting my time on this one!

 

[Gary Crawford]

Just to be fair,Here is equal comedy-Rules for Men to better understand Women! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If you've managed to lift it up, gravity is on your side when it comes to putting it back down.

2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about having sex.

3. "I ate it, didn't I?" is not considered praise.

4. Your responsibility for raising children does NOT end at conception.

5. Get rid of your comb-over. It's not different -- it's just as ridiculous as every other comb over. You're losing your hair -- face it.

6. An order of takeout ribs and a Chris Farley movie is not everybody's idea of a good time.

7. "Yeah yeah, you look fine" is not a compliment.

8. Yes, I DO tell my best friend everything.

9. You have enough ballcaps.

10. You have too many t-shirts.

11. You're too old to wear a goatee.

12. Every actor we find attractive is not gay. You can stop using this one -- we've all heard it.

13. A hug is not always a prelude to sex.

14. When we ask "are you listening," we already know you're not.

15. Your best friend is an idiot.

16. Nothing says "I love you" like offering to go to the grocery store.

17. If you can rebuild the carburetor on a '66 Mustang, working the washing machine should be a snap.

18. Yes and no are sometimes acceptable answers -- grunts and blank stares are not.

19. A sore back that prevents you from doing household chores for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

20. Underwear is like a car. After five years, it needs to be replaced with a newer model.

21. A romantic weekend getaway does not involve baiting a hook.

22. Slapping us on the butt and saying "how bout getting me a cold one" is not foreplay.

23. The missionary position is best left to missionaries.

24. Rolling over and mumbling "I've got to get some sleep" does not produce an afterglow.

25. If it was really good for me...you wouldn't have to ask.

 

[mj-hi-yah]

LOL ...Ok now you're talking GAR!

 

[Gary Crawford]

There's two sides to everything,even when we're having fun!

 

[mj-hi-yah]

There's two sides to everything,even when we're having fun!

Shhh no need to spoil the fun! hee hee he

 

[Chronuss]

22. Slapping us on the butt and saying "how bout getting me a cold one" is not foreplay.

may not be foreplay...but I've had two jobs now where I've had people slap me on the ***...older women do whatever comes across their minds at the time. however, there was no transaction of beer involved. funnier than hell.

 

[Gary Crawford]

may not be foreplay...but I've had two jobs now where I've had people slap me on the ***...older women do whatever comes across their minds at the time. however, there was no transaction of beer involved. funnier than hell.

You poor thing!That's terrible to have those older women sexually harrass you!