15yo Kills Herself After Being Bullied

[MJS]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100329/ap_on_re_us/us_school_bullying

Saw this on the news today as well. Its sad and disgusting as well, that kids can't even go to school today, without having to fear punks, who thrive on bullying and making the lives of these kids miserable.

 

[Gordon Nore]

Sickening.

 

[Empty Hands]

Its sad and disgusting as well, that kids can't even go to school today, without having to fear punks, who thrive on bullying and making the lives of these kids miserable.

There is no "today" about it. My wife's grandfather was beaten up routinely in his small coastal high school in the 40's because he was new there.

I wonder sometimes if putting kids together in large age matched groups with few adults around is the root of these behavioral issues. In the past, children were mostly in mixed groups of adults and multiple aged children. Awfully hard to bully some kid if their older brother or parent is nearby. Kids are little monsters, and need to have proper behavior taught, modeled by, and controlled by adults. It seems like we keep getting "Lord of the Flies" when kids are left to their own devices in large groups.

 

[seasoned]

This is a parents worst nightmare, and a very damaging experience for kids also. In this day and age schools should not just blow off this type of situation, "as kids will be kids". Kids can be very cruel, and it takes adults to not turn a blind eye in an obvious on going problem as this one. Very sad indeed.

 

[MJS]

There is no "today" about it. My wife's grandfather was beaten up routinely in his small coastal high school in the 40's because he was new there.

I wonder sometimes if putting kids together in large age matched groups with few adults around is the root of these behavioral issues. In the past, children were mostly in mixed groups of adults and multiple aged children. Awfully hard to bully some kid if their older brother or parent is nearby. Kids are little monsters, and need to have proper behavior taught, modeled by, and controlled by adults. It seems like we keep getting "Lord of the Flies" when kids are left to their own devices in large groups.

My bad...poor choice of wording on my part.

When did the mixing of kids/adults/older children take place? When I was in school, there was 1 teacher, and then the kids mixed in.

 

[MJS]

This is a parents worst nightmare, and a very damaging experience for kids also. In this day and age schools should not just blow off this type of situation, "as kids will be kids". Kids can be very cruel, and it takes adults to not turn a blind eye in an obvious on going problem as this one. Very sad indeed.

IMO, the schools need to take a strong stance on bullying. Its their job to ensure that learning takes place. Its no different, IMO, than a martial arts school. I'm there to teach, the kids are there to learn. If 1 or more kids are being disruptive, then those kids need to be removed. But nothing should be blown off and chalked up to kids being kids.

 

[Ramirez]

IMO, the schools need to take a strong stance on bullying

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it seemed schools took very little concern about the bullying taking place. Having a step-son that just entered high school, it seems bullying is kind of turned a blind eye to even now.



I sometimes think adolescents are complete sociopaths.



Maybe Gordon can share more light on how it is monitored and handled currently in the greater Toronto area.

Funny, I was just contacted on Facebook by a girl in my k-8 school, who was unmercifully bullied, telling me that I was quite kind to her back then, I responded back that I felt a bit guilty about not standing up to her worst tormentor back then.

 

[Ken Morgan]

Sad.
The schools i've been in here in this board and the district in New York state have tonnes of posters rallying against bullying. Now having a poster vs. a program are two very differnet things, i don't know what else they do.

 

[MBuzzy]

I think that things have gotten MUCH worse in recent years. You didn't hear nearly as much about suicides and serious problems 10 years ago. Not that bullying wasn't as bad...but now technology has propelled it to a new level. When I was in school, I was tormeted horribly. I hated my life and feared going to school every day....but when I left, it was over. I could go home and be away from it.

NOW, you go home, get on the internet and you're not away from it. There is facebook, myspace, e-mail, webpages, and on and on and on....if you're a bullied kid, you are assaulted with it 24 hours a day, there is no escape. they can get to you anywhere. God forbid there is a computer hacker in the group of tormenters....It is no wonder that kids kill themselves - that is one of the main reasons for suicide, seeing no hope, no escape, and no chance for your situation to improve.

 

[Ramirez]

Sad.
The schools i've been in here in this board and the district in New York state have tonnes of posters rallying against bullying. Now having a poster vs. a program are two very differnet things, i don't know what else they do.

And what do you do as a parent when trying to get the school to do something fails?

Kids are savvy today, they know they have pretty much immunity to do whatever they want.

There was a case a few years ago in the greater Toronto area where a boy was getting bullied , his father finally had enough and out of frustration grabbed one of the boy's tormentors put him up against a wall and threatened him....the father was charged.

Can't say I haven't felt like doing that myself in a couple of cases.

 

[Ken Morgan]

And what do you do as a parent when trying to get the school to do something fails?

Kids are savvy today, they know they have pretty much immunity to do whatever they want.

There was a case a few years ago in the greater Toronto area where a boy was getting bullied , his father finally had enough and out of frustration grabbed one of the boy's tormentors put him up against a wall and threatened him....the father was charged.

Can't say I haven't felt like doing that myself in a couple of cases.

My son was being bullied a bit in grade school, and the school tried to stop it but the other kid kept it up. I signed my son up for boxing lessons, imagine my surprise when the bullying ended pretty quickly after that....sure my son got suspended once or twice, but no one ever bullied him or his friends again.

 

[Ramirez]

My son was being bullied a bit in grade school, and the school tried to stop it but the other kid kept it up. I signed my son up for boxing lessons, imagine my surprise when the bullying ended pretty quickly after that....sure my son got suspended once or twice, but no one ever bullied him or his friends again.

I signed mine up for judo, then (without telling his mother), took him in the basement and had him practice clotheslining me across the chest for 1/2 an hour with instructions to do the same around the head of his tormentor the next time.

Seemed to have worked.

What we did is of course frowned upon (his mother was livid with me), on the other hand what else do you do?

 

[Omar B]

That's really sad. I myself went to 4 different high schools and have dealt with the being the new kid thing and bullies on multiple occasions. It's really sickening that this child let it pill her under.

 

[Ken Morgan]

I signed mine up for judo, then (without telling his mother), took him in the basement and had him practice clotheslining me across the chest for 1/2 an hour with instructions to do the same around the head of his tormentor the next time.

Seemed to have worked.

What we did is of course frowned upon (his mother was livid with me), on the other hand what else do you do?

I guess we're evil?

**** it, you simply do not mess with my children.

Lets be honest, some adults still bully at work. They ignore people, talk behind their backs at the very least, don't invite them when they go out for lunch with everyone else...etc. It might not be physical anymore, but i'm sure it still hurts.

I haven't tolerated intolerable behaviour in 25 years, I won't anymore.

 

[Ramirez]

I guess we're evil?

**** it, you simply do not mess with my children.

Lets be honest, some adults still bully at work. They ignore people, talk behind their backs at the very least, don't invite them when they go out for lunch with everyone else...etc. It might not be physical anymore, but i'm sure it still hurts.

I haven't tolerated intolerable behaviour in 25 years, I won't anymore.

I have seen worse than that, got canned from my first job because I wouldn't put up with *****. Had a bit of revenge years later when I almost had the manager of the department canned when I found a massive error that he made at another company we both ended up working at, he ended up demoted as it was.

 

[LuckyKBoxer]

I am really curious how much information will come out in this case.
Like all cases involving juveniles they keep alot of information concealed from the public. A few things that make me double take is the fact they are charging the kids with statutory rape. It appears at some point the girl and members from this group of kids had sex, or at least thats what the charges would lead you to think... if they are not calling it a gang rape situation, it also leads one to think at some point it was consensual, or as consensual as a teenager can get. I think this story is going to get really muddy before it all is finally resolved. A shame that the parents have so little control over their kids that it comes to this point.
I blame the parents of all these kids, including the one who committed suicide. They all should have had a much better grasp on what their kids were doing, this shows neglect on all the parents, they either neglected to actively participate in their kids lives, or worse they knew what their kids were doing and neglected to step in and intervene... A truely disgusting story no matter how it turns out at this point.

 

[Touch Of Death]

I am really curious how much information will come out in this case.
Like all cases involving juveniles they keep alot of information concealed from the public. A few things that make me double take is the fact they are charging the kids with statutory rape. It appears at some point the girl and members from this group of kids had sex, or at least thats what the charges would lead you to think... if they are not calling it a gang rape situation, it also leads one to think at some point it was consensual, or as consensual as a teenager can get. I think this story is going to get really muddy before it all is finally resolved. A shame that the parents have so little control over their kids that it comes to this point.
I blame the parents of all these kids, including the one who committed suicide. They all should have had a much better grasp on what their kids were doing, this shows neglect on all the parents, they either neglected to actively participate in their kids lives, or worse they knew what their kids were doing and neglected to step in and intervene... A truely disgusting story no matter how it turns out at this point.

I am curious as to the question of her being scuicidal in the first place. Did she have mental issues such as manic depression? Are drugs involved? Why was she out having sexual encounters? Were her parents paying attention? Not that bullying isn't a problem, but enquiring minds want to know.
Sean

 

[Touch Of Death]

I have seen worse than that, got canned from my first job because I wouldn't put up with *****. Had a bit of revenge years later when I almost had the manager of the department canned when I found a massive error that he made at another company we both ended up working at, he ended up demoted as it was.

We had a bullying type manager where I work, one day he got the bright idea to start poking an employee in the chest while screaming at him. The next thing that manager knew was right cross and a boot stomping on his head and neck. I was near and it sounded like a dog got hit by a car. Long story short, they are both gone.
Sean

 

[Stac3y]

When I was about 7, I was attacked by a couple of young teenage boys--verbally and with thrown rocks that actually drew blood. My father chased them down, grabbed them by their necks (one per hand; probably gave them a good shaking or ten, as well as a major hollering at), and marched them to their parents' house. He had a few words with their parents, who were mortified. This was back in the 1970s. The parents didn't even try to argue about it, just took them inside and promised my dad that he would never see them do something like that again. They made good on that promise, too; I don't recall seeing those boys outdoors without an adult chaperone for the next several years, after which they moved. My dad may not have always handled every situation correctly, but I think he aced that one. For a kid getting victimized, feeling his or her parent/s will protect them is part of what is needed to keep them stable. I wonder if this girl felt that way? I doubt it.

 

[Ramirez]

My dad may not have always handled every situation correctly, but I think he aced that one. For a kid getting victimized, feeling his or her parent/s will protect them is part of what is needed to keep them stable. I wonder if this girl felt that way? I doubt it.

These days your dad would be arrested. Bullying seems to be in some nebulous area these days, police don't seem to be concerned with it, schools are not effective in dealing with it leaving a parent with his hands tied except to do what Ken and I did....teach your kids to fight back.