# The  Future of Texas



## Cryozombie (Jul 31, 2004)

This might cheeze off all you Bush Hatin Liberals here on MT... but these arent my words... I just found the concept funny.  As a side note, i would be amused no matter which party it referred to... 
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The  Future of Texas    

Please  note that Texas  is the only state with a legal right
to secede from the Union.
(please  refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans  love y'all, but we'll have to take action if 
Kerry wins president over  Bush. We'll miss you too.

Texas  has given all those complainers plenty of time 
to get used to the  results. After seeing the whiners 
along the campaign route, the folks  from Texas  are 
considering taking matters into our their hands.

Here is  our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United  States.  
(all 49 states.)

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of  the Republic  of Texas.

So  what does Texas  have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of  Houston, Texas.  
(we will control the space industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of  the gasoline in the United  States.

3.  Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) 
The term "Don't mess with  Texas,"  will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the  oil that the 
Republic  of Texas  will need for the next 300 years. 
Yankee states? Sorry about  that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and 
it's too  bad about those northern states. 
John Kerry will figure a way to keep  them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation  in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas  Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raythe! on, National Semiconductor,  Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor,  Dallas  Semiconductor, Delphi,  Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health  Centers - We have the largest research centers for
Cancer research, the  best burn centers and the top trauma units
in the world and other large  health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us  going: UT., Texas A&M, 
Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of  Houston, Baylor, UNT,
Texas  Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We  have a ready supply of workers. 
(just open the border when we need  some more).

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics,  insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the  Texas  National Guard 
and the Texas  Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here  has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, 
we can raise an army in 24  hours if we need it. 
If the situation really gets bad, we can always  call
Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple  
Texas  Rangers.

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs  and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget  seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so  that they taste good. Don't need any food.

This just names a few of  the items that will keep the Republic  of Texas  in good shape.
There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't  have.
~  ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Now  to the rest of the United  States  under President Kerry:


Since  you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, 
only President  Kerry will be able to drive around in his
9 mile per gallon SUV. The  rest of the United  States  will have
to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the  space center in Houston  will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat  your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not  need the gas.
Signed, The People in Texas


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## don bohrer (Jul 31, 2004)

:anic: 


You can keep Bush and we'll still leave!

Lighten up!
 :rofl:


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## KenpoTex (Jul 31, 2004)

HEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!!!!  When are we leavin'  

That would give me an excuse to move back.
*whistles: "I wish I was in Dixie..." *




> We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo,
> we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it.


 why would it take 24 hours? 

 :ak47:  :2pistols:  :rockets:  :snipe:  :armed:  :shotgun:  :sig:  :machgunr:                                           :biggun:  :shooter: :mp5:


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 31, 2004)

Ah, yes, another idea that any state (or body of the government) is self-sufficient and would survive without others.  Ah, the idealistic cowboy mentality.

1) No funding for NASA?  Guess that aerospace inductry would die.
2) No grain for the hogs and cattle?  Guess you'll have to slaughter them pretty soon.

This is my favorite



> 9. We have a ready supply of workers.
> (just open the border when we need some more).


I'm sure that all the immigrants would never think of changing things in the great state of Texas after they moved there!  (Like deposing Bush....)


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## michaeledward (Jul 31, 2004)

Don't let the door hit you in the @$$ on the way out!


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## Cryozombie (Jul 31, 2004)

See?  I knew it would make you Liberals mad... like you actually believe they are serious!  You could put JoJo the texas hating Chimp in office, and Texas aint goin anywhere... 

Take it for what it is... Its Damn funny! 

Speaking of Damn Funny...

Two Fish were swimming up river, when they hit a concrete wall.  One fish turned to the other and said:

"DAM!"


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 31, 2004)

technopunk -

OK, I did laugh at that one!  

As someone who was married to a Texan, the "don't mess with Texas" gets old.  I'd like to see some other states jump in with their slogans, like "Don't f*** with New York or we'll spit down your neck, a'ight?"

lol!


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## michaeledward (Jul 31, 2004)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> See? I knew it would make you Liberals mad... like you actually believe they are serious! You could put JoJo the texas hating Chimp in office, and Texas aint goin anywhere...
> 
> Take it for what it is... Its Damn funny!


2 Thoughts ..

1) Yeah, that civil war was really funny, wasn't it?
2) If I didn't so respond, wouldn't you have been terribly disappointed?

Mike

P.S.  It ain't that funny ... although the fish joke .. well....


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## Mark Weiser (Jul 31, 2004)

The State of Kansas saying:

"I'll get you my pretty! and your little dog too!" quote from Wizard of OZ


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## Cryozombie (Jul 31, 2004)

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> technopunk -
> 
> OK, I did laugh at that one!
> 
> ...



Or... Look out for Illinois... cuz we are the land of lincoln... 

Oh wait...


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## shesulsa (Jul 31, 2004)

You know, y'all process paper products, but where the heck do ya think you get the trees from?  From the Pac North West, baby!  Secede from the union and just TRY to get into Washington for your newspaper fodder.  

 Yah, we Washingtonians got a slogan...it's "TIMMMBBERRRRRRRRR!"

 Take off, Texas and don't let the door hit ya on the **** on the way out.

 By the way - of all the southern states, only Texans consider Texas to actually BE part of the south.  Texas isn't the south - Texas is Texas.  Tejas soon, if you let in all those immigrants and they take up arms agin' ya since you just luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv that second ammendment so much.

 My parents were from Nashville - now THAT'S the south.  We'll keep Nashville and the Grand Ol' Opry and southern fried chicken, white beans and cornbread, fried green tomatoes - oh and we got plenty of seafood in Maine, Florida and Puget Sound, thank you very much.  We'll keep our solar power, wind power, hydropower and biodeisel and eventually run y'all right on OUT of the energy business.  All them cattle y'all are feeding are gonna smog you out like you've never been smogged out before.  California and Oregon Dairies will serve us well along with Wisconsin, so you can keep that too.  Beef?  overrated and bad for your health. Technology?  ever hear of the Silicon Valley?  And most of the companies mentioned are setting up shop in Colorado anyway.  Yeah - you can take your technology too.  And there's plenty more space centers all over the country - we'll take our space funding, you take your new museum.  Defense industry?  Y'all got the US defense industry.  Secede and it all goes right back to us, baby, yeah.  Natural gas?  yeah, just assign one or two of your farting cows per residence and they'll have all the feul they'll need to keep warm.  Health Centers?  Where is the Mayo Clinic?  John's Hopkins?  They're not in Tejas, my friend.

 Yes, yes, yes.  The USA without Texas - starting to sound better and better all the time.

 Don't forget to take Bushes with ya - y'all might need them for making paper with.


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## Flatlander (Jul 31, 2004)

This reminds me of a thread around here somewhere with proposed State license plate mottos, or something.  It was pretty funny.


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## Mark Weiser (Jul 31, 2004)

My Family is from Kentucky back 4 generations so watch out for us Bluegrass Folks lol!


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## Hollywood1340 (Jul 31, 2004)

You know if my state succeded we'd be the like the sixth largest nuclear power on the face of the earth. So we could make y'all give us what we need!


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## Mark Weiser (Jul 31, 2004)

LOL! so how about an airstrike on your nuke plants lol reminds me of what Israel did to Saddam years ago.

"Wildhorse New Fire Mission Over!"


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## don bohrer (Jul 31, 2004)

You guys sure find a way to suck all the fun out of it. :uhyeah: 


Don (El Paso)


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## AnimEdge (Mar 23, 2005)

Yea i agree the fun of the joke has been killed


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## Silat Student (Mar 28, 2005)

Wow this joke just got enough people riled to get it saved onto my HD. Nice to see where folk's nerves are.


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