# Zen Sarcasm



## stone_dragone (Nov 17, 2007)

*[FONT=&quot]1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. In fact, just leave me the hell alone.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. [/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. [/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. [/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.[/FONT]*
*[FONT=&quot]19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are[/FONT]*[FONT=&quot] *[FONT=&quot]moving.*[/FONT][/FONT]
*[FONT=&quot]20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 
[/FONT]*


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## Xue Sheng (Nov 17, 2007)

stone_dragone said:


> Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. In fact, just leave me the hell alone.


 
This one is going to be my screensaver at work come Monday morning.


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## Sukerkin (Nov 17, 2007)

They were priceless, *Dragone* .  Humerous, sarcastic and yet still managing to hold a core of zen-like truth :lol:.  Number 17 and Number 20 have a special profundity I reckon.


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## terryl965 (Nov 17, 2007)

Those are great, Thank you so much.


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## seninoniwashi (Nov 18, 2007)

stone_dragone said:


> [FONT=&quot]4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.[/FONT]
> [FONT=&quot]6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. [/FONT]


 
So very true!


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