# Six Months to Live.....



## elder999 (Apr 17, 2006)

I recently spent a very pleasant afternoon with an extremely interesting, intelligent person. For the purposes this post, Ill call him Rick. He has a doctorate in psychology, however most of his professional life has been spent in education. Rick came to see me because a mutual friend said we should meet and discuss my teachings about life, death, and life after death. For the past several years, Ricks been living with a life threatening disease. Recently, he was told by the medical establishment that he has six months to a year to live. He continues to follow their recommended therapies, but also explores alternative treatment and studies different spiritual traditions. We discussed everything from Karl Jung to Bhagavad-Gita. We both learned a lot, I think. Rick also gave me a most special gift that afternoon. He asked me, If you knew you were going to die in six months, what would you do differently? I sat quietly for a moment, somewhat in shock. This post is about some of what I thought about that afternoon.

I, who wrote this post , and you who are reading it now, are all going to die one day. We dont like to think about it too much, and perhaps that is for the best. I spent the better part of my childhood being told by doctors that I was going to die, that I wouldnt live to 7er, no 9,._ditto_ *11*they gave up at 15, when my pediatrician asked me to do him a favor and wait for his family to leave the funeral before I danced on his grave. I can tell you, though, while I wouldnt change anything, and I value the perspective it has given me, thats no way for a anyone to live-it was hard to remain optimistic in the face of all that, though I did. We dont need to become morbid, or depressed, always thinking about death. At the same time, we need to be aware that we live in a rational materialist society that denies our mortality at every turn. Youth is glorified; age is denied. We often hear, _Children are our future_, but this is not true. Children are part of the *present*, and so are adults. 

You dont stop having value when youre not a child, or if you not cute, and young and thin any more. Becoming an elder, offering your wisdom to those generations behind you, has always been, until recently, an honored stage of life. Now, we find ourselves in the unenviable position of having several generations of adults who, for the most part, dont know any more about life than the youngsters they ought to be teaching. The discussion of spiritual topics is too often left to religionists, who seem more concerned with their organizations than with people. I dont want to add to the confusion, anger and meanness that seem so prevalent today. I choose to live in my truth and to share what little I know with whomever wants to see it. It happens that I sometimes share my truth in a public way, but it is freely offered. You can read my words, or move on to the next thread. I would never dream of trying to force my vision on anyone else, or threaten anyone with punishment if they didnt conform to my own spiritual vision. Personally, this is simply an issue of respect for myself and for others. Who am I to tell others how to live? Who are the Baptists, or Catholics, or Moslems, or Hare Krishnas, or any other group to threaten anyone else with spiritual ruin if they dont follow their guidelines? I share this with you today, for I have spent too many years of this lifetime trying to follow others, all the while being threatened by them. I dont do that anymore. So, keep in mind as you read that there are plenty of religious organizations that have condemned me to everlasting hell, death by stoning, and rebirth as an insect! I believe theyre wrong. If any of them are right about God being so hatefully judgmental, then Im still okay, for I wouldnt want to spend time in heaven, or anywhere else with the mean-spirited God they teach about. This is some of what Rick and I discussed that afternoon.

After Rick left that day, I spent some quiet time reflecting on my life. I evaluated, and then re-evaluated what seemed important to me and prioritized that to which I want to devote more time. I discovered that if I knew I had six months to live, there are few things Id do (or not do) differently. If that were so, then why not go ahead and live that way now? Here is some of what I came up with.

If I knew I had six months to live:

1. I would be up to watch every sunrise, study the starry night, and I would toast every sunset.of course, I do that anyway.

2. I would forgive everyone whom I perceived had harmed me and I would forgive myself-and ask forgiveness- for the times I hurt others.of course, Ive done this before, but it never stops, does it?

3. I would write a note to every spiritual teacher who touched my life, thanking them for sharing their truth.of course, Im doing that right now.

4. I would spend a day shopping for fresh vegetables in the mercado in Juarez.

5. I would keep good music playing continuously (which I do anyway).

6. I would write a fan letter to Stevie Nicks, urging her to record a duet with Garth Brooks.(heh-heh!)

7. I would refuse to spend even one single minute in self-doubt, or in criticism of myself or *gulp!*-anyone else.

8. I would invite my special friends over for supper, and we would feast on extra-hot, red chile enchiladas. I would also eat Sunday lunch at Sadies, in Albuquerque, as often as I could.

9. I would spend as much time as possible praying. (which I do anyway).

10. I wouldnt spend *any* time worrying about bills, or bank balances, or which party controls congress.

11. Id throw a couple of REALLY big parties (and invite all of you!)
12. Id spend as much of all this time as I could with my wife, Rita.

13. Id do one last cruise on my boat..either first, or _last_.

We humans are peculiar creatures. We often wait until a life emergency or tragedy to discover what we truly value. Well, okay, I can accept that were sometimes that way. The challenge is to use painful times to evaluate where we are, and what matters to us. Life is too short to waste even one day being unhappy or unfulfilled. Of course, I also feel that we have as many lifetimes as we want, but the present life is the most important one. This is where we are right nowright here. If we cant be happy today, right now, then we will never be happy one day when were rich, or famous, or thin, or (fill in the blank). 

Why dont you try making your own list?


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## HKphooey (Apr 17, 2006)

I not a huge fan of country music, but I think the Tim McGraw song sums it up best,   "Live like you were dying".  

I try to live my life the best I can and appreciate all the poeple around me.

1. Tell my wife I love her at least 5 times a day.
2. Make some laugh or smile at least 10 times a day.
3. Make sure all my family members know how much they mean to me and that any "simple" fights we had are a distant memory.
4. Help a stranger out, hold a door or just say hi to someone I do not know.
5. Teach someone to do something - a child to ride a bike.
6. Learn something over again form a child - fly a kite, swinging on a tire swing, playing wiffle ball.
7. Sit on a beach after everyone has left and just listen to the waves.
8. Go heli-boarding in BC, Canda.
9. Make sure all my family members know how much they mean to me and that any "simple" fights we had are a distant memory.
10.  Teach as many MA classes as possible.  (My students mean the worls to me.)
11.  Lastly, I would watch one last sunset in the Vermont Green Mountains.


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## OnlyAnEgg (Apr 17, 2006)

I have lived a life, until 1989 (and a little after) that was designed to promote early or misadventurous death.  There have been many, many days that I was convinced I had considerably less than 6 months to live.

However, with my current perspective, I could create a list such as described:
1) I would continue to attend AA for the entire time.  Daily.
2) I would take the time to express my love to as many friends and family as I could get to.
3) I would see Rush in concert (frivolous?  So?)
4) I would pause more
5) I would spend more time beneath the branches of the forest
6) I would sing louder
7) I would visit the sea again
8) I would fly more kites
9) I would praise my enemies
10) I would thank God for all the months before the last


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## elder999 (Apr 17, 2006)

OnlyAnEgg said:
			
		

> I10) I would thank God for all the months before the last


 
...and thank *you*. I can't believe I neglected this one..:asian:


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## OnlyAnEgg (Apr 17, 2006)

elder999 said:
			
		

> ...and thank *you*. I can't believe I neglected this one..:asian:


 
You're welcome.  It's so easy to focus on the end, rather than the journey itself.


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## elder999 (Apr 17, 2006)

OnlyAnEgg said:
			
		

> You're welcome. It's so easy to focus on the end, rather than the journey itself.


 
Of course, I actually do give thanks for that in my prayers twice a day, but it's nice to be reminded....and  _humbling_ as well.


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## stickarts (Apr 17, 2006)

In 2004, I went into what i thought would be a relatively routine surgery but one complication led to another and had I been a bit older or not in good shape to start with i would not have made it through the ordeal!

When looking death in the face you re-evaluate your priorities, thats for sure!
Spending time with and appreciating family and true friends has become even more important then before, dismissing petty differences and animosity, putting petty worries aside, making a difference in the lives of others, and making every day count have gotten much more attention.

It also prompted me to contact friends  that i had not seen since childhood. We now keep in touch on a regular basis.
Sometimes it takes a crisis to help us see better.


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