# "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker



## Mike Hamer (Feb 13, 2007)

Had a teacher of mine give me this book to read over the holidays, just finished it.  Has anyone else read it?  It's a very good book that can help you tell the difference between unwarranted fear, and true fear (or intuition) in a life or death situation, and much more.  It was a great read!


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## Mike Hamer (Feb 13, 2007)

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34850


Alrighty then......nevermind


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## Drac (Feb 13, 2007)

An EXCELLENT book...


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## Brian R. VanCise (Feb 13, 2007)

Yes it is a great book and definately should be required reading for anybody interested in self defense and personal protection.


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## tellner (Feb 14, 2007)

A classic. Superb. There are just two flaws off-hand...

1) He spends an awful lot of time saying "And for a real assessment you can pay GDB Associates a metric butt-load of cash"

2) He has an irrational fear and hatred of weapons. Comes from some perfectly understandable stuff in his past. It still goes way beyond the bounds of reason.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Feb 14, 2007)

tellner said:


> A classic. Superb. There are just two flaws off-hand...
> 
> 1) He spends an awful lot of time saying "And for a real assessment you can pay GDB Associates a metric butt-load of cash"
> 
> 2) He has an irrational fear and hatred of weapons. Comes from some perfectly understandable stuff in his past. It still goes way beyond the bounds of reason.


 
I agree with both of those points as well.  However it is still a great book.


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## Bigshadow (Feb 14, 2007)

Mike Hamer said:


> Had a teacher of mine give me this book to read over the holidays, just finished it.  Has anyone else read it?  It's a very good book that can help you tell the difference between unwarranted fear, and true fear (or intuition) in a life or death situation, and much more.  It was a great read!



Yes, I have read it!  It is a very good book!  IMO, it gets a little dry in some places but overall it is a very good book that should be read by most people, martial arts or not.


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## Bigshadow (Feb 14, 2007)

tellner said:


> A classic. Superb. There are just two flaws off-hand...
> 
> 1) He spends an awful lot of time saying "And for a real assessment you can pay GDB Associates a metric butt-load of cash"
> 
> 2) He has an irrational fear and hatred of weapons. Comes from some perfectly understandable stuff in his past. It still goes way beyond the bounds of reason.



I agree with that as well.


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## jdp29 (Feb 21, 2007)

A must read.  Every female should especially read it.


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 21, 2007)

i agree with most of the above.  'gift of fear' is a phenomenal book and in many ways changed how i teach children.



tellner said:


> 2) He has an irrational fear and hatred of weapons. Comes from some perfectly understandable stuff in his past. It still goes way beyond the bounds of reason.



i'm not certain i'd call it either irrational or a fear.  he has a very strong opinion about guns, and one that feels fairly radical considering that he's in the security profession.

while i disagree with his stance, his analysis is well-reasoned and his research is top-notch.  couple that with his professional experience and he's got as much right as anybody to his opinion, and more right than most.


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## tellner (Feb 21, 2007)

I wish it were, but on that one issue he really does take leave of his senses. He absolutely ignores every single piece of research - and that amounts to pretty much all of the good research - which does not absolutely support his predetermined position. He uncritically accepts everything that supports his views even when there is clearly recognized fraud in the research. On that one issue he is a crackpot, not a professional.


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 22, 2007)

With respect, I'm not sure all the facts support that conclusion.

To be clear, don't let's make this a gun control argument.  This forum has enough of those.

But there's a large body of research to support De Becker's conclusion -- he doesn't ignore 'every single bit of research'.  He merely ignores 'every single bit of research' that supports your opinion.

My take is simpler.  I have yet to see any research on either side that wasn't conducted by somebody with an axe to grind.  Most of the research that came out anti-gun was done by people out to prove that guns are dangerous.  Most of the research that came out pro-gun was done as a reaction to the anti-gun research.  To be fair, this is usually true of all controversial issues and probably human nature.

Yes, DeBecker's an extremist.  But intelligent, well-educated extremists are a common (and often neccesary) part of how our society makes needed changes.  

Even the NRA has to admit that our rights are in danger because too many idiots do stupid things with guns.  DeBecker's radical wishes won't ever happen, but they may help to steer us in a direction to make more gun owners act more responsibly, and maybe discourage people from buying guns for the wrong reasons.


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## aedrasteia (Feb 22, 2007)

Jason

agree very much re: firearms.While responsible owners are many, they are equaled by outrageously irresonsible 'slob' hunters and handgun owners who are enraged by anyone thinking guns casually left unsecured and at hand are a risk to innocent people. When I refused to be around that situation I was accused of being an 'anti-gun' left-wing...., well, you know the drill. Over time I've come to believe the slobs are the best recruiting reps for excessive restrictions on guns.

just wanted to add a note of support. Do not want to do more gun stuff.

How did Gift of Fear change your teaching?? I've encountered more than a few MA and SD (esp. SD4W) teachers who like the book but few have been able to restructure their teaching based on what they say they've learned. thanks A.


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 23, 2007)

aedrasteia said:


> How did Gift of Fear change your teaching?? I've encountered more than a few MA and SD (esp. SD4W) teachers who like the book but few have been able to restructure their teaching based on what they say they've learned. thanks A.



it's more of an emphasis and attitude thing than any change to the curriculum.  it helped me (a 30 something, male, athletic martial artist with no kids) understand the real concerns of a non-combatant parent.  the way i fight is so different from that situation.  it gave me some excellent insights for presentation, priorities and motivation.


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## aedrasteia (Feb 24, 2007)

Thanks B

actually, i'd be glad to hear more.

*"it helped me (a 30 something, male, athletic martial artist with no kids) understand the real concerns of a non-combatant parent."*

some puzzle but i think i understand a little, I'm not a parent and most of De B's comments in GOF were directed at general public with emphasis on women, so i knew exactly what he meant. i guess what I mean is why did that seem unfamiliar to you?

*"the way i fight is so different from that situation.'*

yes, that sounds right. DeBecker describes circumstances that are in the real world so much more. There very litttle of the 'fighting' scenario that is described as 'reality' so much and is very very rare in actual life. Most of what I see and hear seems like 'reality TV' instead of real life. But "that situation" comes from everyday life. 

*"it gave me some excellent insights for presentation, priorities and motivation."*

what did you pick up and how did you use it. what kind of reception have you found?

thanks A


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 25, 2007)

the biggest insight i gained from debecker's work was a sense of how much fear is out there.

i'm athletic, strong, male, done martial arts since i was 11.  i've been very fortunate and payed attention to my surroundings.  fear of physical attack isn't really a part of my problem-solving matrix.  my wife is large for a woman and ranked in two martial arts systems, so i don't fear for her.  thus far, we have no children.

i've never really felt particularly vulnerable, even when under attack.

the insight that most people a)feel afraid often and b)would hesitate before putting the ugly on someone determined to hurt them  was an epiphany for me.

as i said, it changed the way i present my material to many of my students.


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