# The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School



## ShaolinWolf (Apr 24, 2004)

*13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.

 12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
     into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.

 11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
     spilled pocket protector.

 10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
     are just slices of old cheese.

  9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.

  8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
     the Three Stooges.

  7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
     quizzes" in dark alleys.

  6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.

  5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
     end.

  4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does 
     not exist in this dojo!"

  3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying 
     to tie your belt on.

  2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
     neighbors when he moved in.


             and the Number 1 Sign You've 
         Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...


  1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a 
     can of whoop-***" on someone?



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## Gentle Fist (May 3, 2004)

That would be pretty bad if just one of those was present.  Thanks for the post.


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## TKDman (Jun 1, 2004)

ShaolinWolf said:
			
		

> *
> 
> 9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
> 
> *



Aww man, ive been conned!


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