# BJJ for 13 year old girls?



## Pyrock (Aug 4, 2009)

My son has been training in BJJ for almost a year and now my 13 year old daughter wants to start training.  I've seen some young girls training but not usually early teens simply because my son's class is for 12 and under.  Are there a lot of teenaged girls training?  For tournaments, is there a division for women?

My son's head instructor's niece is Kyra Gracie and apparently she started when she was 13.  

My daughter is very athletic with a lean muscular build (ex-cheerleader) and is somewhat of a tom-boy.  She is built like a young Kyra Gracie.  

Is there anything I should be concern with?

Any comments or advice?


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## MJS (Aug 4, 2009)

Pyrock said:


> My son has been training in BJJ for almost a year and now my 13 year old daughter wants to start training. I've seen some young girls training but not usually early teens simply because my son's class is for 12 and under. Are there a lot of teenaged girls training? For tournaments, is there a division for women?
> 
> My son's head instructor's niece is Kyra Gracie and apparently she started when she was 13.
> 
> ...


 
Most classes and tournaments do have seperate divisions/classes, so I wouldn't worry about that.  Personally, I think that BJJ is an art that all women should study.  It provides an excellent foundation, in the event someone finds themselves on the ground.  

Letting her try a class or two certainly couldn't hurt. 

Mike


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## Steve (Aug 4, 2009)

She'll do great.  We have several young women train at my school.  She'll have challenges, that's for sure, but if the school is good, she'll be fine.


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## Pyrock (Aug 4, 2009)

She mentioned once or twice that she wanted to start training but I dismissed it until I caught her rolling on the grass with some of her guy friends. (wrestling/BJJ rolling) Before I could stop them, the boy was tapping out to a guillotine...a sloppy guillotine but a guillotine non the less!  I guess she learned something from watching her 7 year old brother train.

Anyway, if she was going to roll, I may as well have her do it under supervision and do it properly!


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## arnisador (Aug 4, 2009)

I started my daughter at 14. No problems.


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## Pyrock (Aug 4, 2009)

arnisador said:


> I started my daughter at 14. No problems.


 
Were there other girls her age?  How old is she now and what belt?


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## arnisador (Aug 4, 2009)

No others that stayed more than a couple of lessons. She is still a white belt at 15.


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## lklawson (Aug 5, 2009)

Why are you so worried that there be other girls?

When she is choking the crap out of boys (and potential boyfriends) and yanking their arms out of their sockets, that's a *GOOD *thing.

As soon as my daughter is old enough I'm stuffing her in Judo, provided she will do it of course.  After that I'm seriously considering shipping her off to train under James Loriega in some navaja (I think the "lady's knife" is called "sevilianna" or similar).

If your daughter wants to train, let her train.  Please.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk


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## Carol (Aug 5, 2009)

Don't worry if she is the only girl in the class.  If she has to use her skills, chances are it will be against a teenage or adult male...the more practice she has, the better.  If there is another girl in class, the instructor may fall in to the trap of always pairing the two girls together.

I think grappling, both stand up and ground, is possibly the best self-defense skill a female can learn.  Personally, I wish I did more of it. Women typically tend to be smaller than men, and learning the the way to leverage out of a rotten situation with a bigger BG can be a good thing.  :asian:


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## Pyrock (Aug 5, 2009)

All very good points.  I had many of the same thoughts but just needed a little reassuring.  I went an bought her an el-cheapo gi from the local martial arts store.  I didn't want to spend a boat load of $$ just in case she decided it wasn't for her.  If she sticks to it, then I will invest in a nice gi like I did with my son.


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## jks9199 (Aug 5, 2009)

lklawson said:


> Why are you so worried that there be other girls?
> 
> When she is choking the crap out of boys (and potential boyfriends) and yanking their arms out of their sockets, that's a *GOOD *thing.
> 
> ...


My concern with a grappling class and a early to mid teenage girl is the early to mid teenage boys...

I'm going to assume that adults in the class would be mature enough to handle it.  But teen boys?  Not so good... without good instruction & coaching.

That's where I'd put the emphasis first:  finding the right coach/instructor.

(And, yes, I would have the same concern with girls competing in wrestling.)


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## Tez3 (Aug 5, 2009)

Pyrock said:


> My son has been training in BJJ for almost a year and now my 13 year old daughter wants to start training. I've seen some young girls training but not usually early teens simply because my son's class is for 12 and under. Are there a lot of teenaged girls training? For tournaments, is there a division for women?
> 
> *My son's head instructor's niece is Kyra Gracie* and apparently she started when she was 13.
> 
> ...


 
Well if you are going to namedrop do it big lol!
Who is your son's head instructor? is the school a Gracie one?


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## terryl965 (Aug 5, 2009)

Let her train and enjoy it with her. Being in a art is just not for boys you know.


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## Steve (Aug 5, 2009)

Tez3 said:


> Well if you are going to namedrop do it big lol!
> Who is your son's head instructor? is the school a Gracie one?


I'm assuming he's out in NY training at one of Renzo Gracie's schools.  Am I right?


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## PictonMA (Aug 5, 2009)

I have a half dozen or so teenage girls that train in my grappling classes, they are all doing well - one of them has been coming about a year, the others 3-6mos respectively.

My daughters are 4 and 5 1/2 and they are already taking karate and ju jutsu classes, I don't teach anyone under 12 submissions but they do learn how to fall, roll, hold-downs / pins as well as basic judo throws (ogoshi, osoto geri, etc).


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## Pyrock (Aug 5, 2009)

Tez3 said:


> Well if you are going to namedrop do it big lol!
> Who is your son's head instructor? is the school a Gracie one?


 
Oh...sorry.  This is Ralph Gracie.  He was ok with it and actually encouraged her but I dont see much of the teen class because I'm either in the adult class or the kids class.  I'm not too concerned with the academy because I KNOW they are great with kids...(my son loves it there and loves Ralph and the others).  It's just girls in BJJ in general and how they interact with boys.


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## Pyrock (Aug 5, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> I'm assuming he's out in NY training at one of Renzo Gracie's schools. Am I right?


 
Sorry, wrong brother.  N. California with Ralph.  The kids all LOVE Ralph.  I believe he has the largest kids program in the west coast or is it the U.S.?  Not sure where I read it but I take it for granted because I see it 3 days per week at around 20+ kids per class sometimes.  That's just one academy.


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## Pyrock (Aug 5, 2009)

jks9199 said:


> My concern with a grappling class and a early to mid teenage girl is the early to mid teenage boys...
> 
> I'm going to assume that adults in the class would be mature enough to handle it. But teen boys? Not so good... without good instruction & coaching.
> 
> ...


 
That's my concern.  I DO know that for the kids class, its not an issue. For the teen class, I would think that they dont dare do anything that the instructor wouldn't approve....they are pretty strict, especially Ralph and the other black belts.  I should just go and watch to see if the other parents stay and watch because that has a lot to do with the kids' behavior as well.


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## Pyrock (Aug 5, 2009)

PictonMA said:


> I have a half dozen or so teenage girls that train in my grappling classes, they are all doing well - one of them has been coming about a year, the others 3-6mos respectively.
> 
> My daughters are 4 and 5 1/2 and they are already taking karate and ju jutsu classes, I don't teach anyone under 12 submissions but they do learn how to fall, roll, hold-downs / pins as well as basic judo throws (ogoshi, osoto geri, etc).


 
Technically, they dont emphasize submission moves and teach very few except for the bery basic ones.  The interesting part is that most of the older kids (8+) already know them (YouTube!)...go figure.


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## lklawson (Aug 5, 2009)

jks9199 said:


> My concern with a grappling class and a early to mid teenage girl is the early to mid teenage boys...
> 
> I'm going to assume that adults in the class would be mature enough to handle it.  But teen boys?  Not so good... without good instruction & coaching.
> 
> ...


I suppose it could be a problem if the instructor supported or allowed an environment which would encourage that sort of misbehavior.  However, it would be just as much a problem in any other sort of martial art, or even non-martial club.

Further, there's the added advantage that it's a lot harder to be thinking about sex when the other person is trying to choke the ever luv'n snot out of you and hyper-extend your elbows.

Put the two of them together, competent (not even "good") instruction and an environment in which the activity discourages sexual considerations and it's a lot easier to feel comfortable.

However, as I've mentioned in my Martial Arts Newbie's Guide, go with your kids and either join class yourself or watch from the side.  That puts the kibosh on almost all of these sort of shenanigans and gives you early knowledge in case it doesn't.  

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk


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## Pyrock (Aug 26, 2009)

My daughter started training yesterday.  She liked it so much that she stayed for three consecutive class (Teen, Adult Beginner, and Adult).  The instructor thought that she had previous training but this was her very first time training in BJJ.  Needless to say, she's HOOKED!


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## lklawson (Aug 27, 2009)

Pyrock said:


> My daughter started training yesterday.  She liked it so much that she stayed for three consecutive class (Teen, Adult Beginner, and Adult).  The instructor thought that she had previous training but this was her very first time training in BJJ.  Needless to say, she's HOOKED!


Congratulations!

I hope she continues to enjoy and improve her skill.

Again, I encourage you to go watch/participate in classes with her.

If nothing else, your daughter's new hobby should give you the warm fuzzy that she'll be able to pull the arms off of any misbehaving boyfriends (makes me smile just to think of it).

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk


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## Pyrock (Aug 27, 2009)

lklawson said:


> Congratulations!
> 
> I hope she continues to enjoy and improve her skill.
> 
> ...


 
I am definitely there for all my son's sessions but it will be a bit more difficult for my daughter since my son has wrestling at the same time.  I'm sure I can work something out such that I can be there most of the time...at least for the 2nd half of the session.  I dont play favorites but it is more critical to be there for a 7 year old than a 13 year old.  At least we have a family friend who takes the class with her.


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## msmitht (Aug 31, 2009)

jks9199 said:


> My concern with a grappling class and a early to mid teenage girl is the early to mid teenage boys...
> 
> I'm going to assume that adults in the class would be mature enough to handle it.  But teen boys?  Not so good... without good instruction & coaching.
> 
> ...


I teach a combined teenage class. the class is usually 6-1 boys to girls. I have never seen one of them act inappropriately on the mat. I am sure that to the untrained eye some positions and techniques look a little suggestive but believe me, they are training hard. 
None of the boys want to lose to a girl and vice versa. But most boys will not "slam" a girl the same way they do eachother. The girls usually don't care. They see it as serious self defense the first time they make a boy tap. 

Get her involved with a good coach Soon and GL!


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## Bruno@MT (Aug 31, 2009)

lklawson said:


> Why are you so worried that there be other girls?
> 
> When she is choking the crap out of boys (and potential boyfriends) and yanking their arms out of their sockets, that's a *GOOD *thing.
> 
> As soon as my daughter is old enough I'm stuffing her in Judo, provided she will do it of course. Kirk



My oldest daughter (4) is always interested in learning something if I am practising. If she gets a bit older and is still serious about it, I will teach her more, and hopefully by then we have a kids group in our ninpo / jujutsu dojo.

I am not going to force either of my girls into MA. However, I will encourage them strongly and support them if they do. I'd like for both of my girls to be able to take care of themselves. That and using power tools.


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## Pyrock (Dec 4, 2009)

I just wanted to update this older thread by saying that my daughter has been LOVING her BJJ classes.  She sometimes trains 3 hours straight but usually only trains 2 hours/day twice a week.  In addition, her grades got better and her discipline at school apparently got better as proven by her "Student of the Month" award. In the past, she's more accustomed to detention!
 Obviously, she is learning some good habits from Ralph Gracie who actually teaches many of her classes and even trains her (and her partner) personally.  She has no idea how lucky she is to get that sort of training.


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## Steve (Dec 4, 2009)

Pyrock said:


> I just wanted to update this older thread by saying that my daughter has been LOVING her BJJ classes. She sometimes trains 3 hours straight but usually only trains 2 hours/day twice a week. In addition, her grades got better and her discipline at school apparently got better as proven by her "Student of the Month" award. In the past, she's more accustomed to detention!
> Obviously, she is learning some good habits from Ralph Gracie who actually teaches many of her classes and even trains her (and her partner) personally. She has no idea how lucky she is to get that sort of training.


Very cool!  I'm glad that it's working out well for her.


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## teekin (Dec 5, 2009)

Well your not going to have to worry about her going out on dates. One false move and the unforunate lad will be face down and tapping for his life.:armed:
lori


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## Draven (Dec 5, 2009)

Pyrock said:


> Is there anything I should be concern with?
> 
> Any comments or advice?


 
I had 4 god-sisters who were actually like blood sisters to me, 2 were tom boys and where fine with wrestling and slap boxing with me and my friends. The tom boys are usually better able to deal with physical contact its the girly girls who get "happy" about physical contact. There are girls division and women's divisions in everything.

I won't worry too much if you have a female instructor teaching because a female can usually pick up on another female's body language better then a male will.


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## Pyrock (Feb 15, 2010)

Well, here's an update on my 13 year old daughter who has been trainining in BJJ for the last 4 months.

She had her first tournament last week at the Rumble in the Redwoods BJJ tournament in Aptos, CA. She won her division and is now TOTALLY hooked. Her opponent was pretty tough but Isabel (Izzy) pulled off the win. She had great submission attempts and very good sweeps. Here's a YouTube video of her match...She's the one in the black gi.


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## jks9199 (Feb 15, 2010)

Pyrock said:


> Well, here's an update on my 13 year old daughter who has been trainining in BJJ for the last 4 months.
> 
> She had her first tournament last week at the Rumble in the Redwoods BJJ tournament in Aptos, CA. She won her division and is now TOTALLY hooked. Her opponent was pretty tough but Isabel (Izzy) pulled off the win. She had great submission attempts and very good sweeps. Here's a YouTube video of her match...She's the one in the black gi.


Fantastic!


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## Dave Leverich (Feb 16, 2010)

Pyrock, she looked great! My baby is 'almost' 7 and I'm about ready to get her into it too . My son's 11 and been chomping at the bit to start in on BJJ.

Thanks for sharing!


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## Pyrock (Feb 16, 2010)

Dave Leverich said:


> Pyrock, she looked great! My baby is 'almost' 7 and I'm about ready to get her into it too . My son's 11 and been chomping at the bit to start in on BJJ.
> 
> Thanks for sharing!


 
Thanks!

Speaking of young starters, here's a video of my youngest who is 4 and started about three months ago, two weeks before his 4th birthday. He is officially Ralphs youngest student. After 1 1/2 years of sitting on the side of the mat waiting of class to end, Ralph finally let him train. Amazingly, he pays better attention than some of the older kids...





 
...and here's the kid who started the whole BJJ Fever when he turned 7 years old. This was at the same tournament as his sister and he also won 1st place. His 2009 BJJ and Wrestling highlight video is also on my YouTube page if anyone is interested. He's addicted to mat sports.


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## lklawson (Feb 17, 2010)

Pyrock said:


> is now TOTALLY hooked.


Good job.

Don't neglect to tell her that it's OK to choke out potential boyfriends.

...armbars are good too.

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk


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## Dave Leverich (Feb 18, 2010)

OMG, Pyrock I was grinning ear to ear watching your 4/yo munchkin hehe. Awesome!!!
Yeah, I need to start training my babies in that .


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## Drac (Feb 18, 2010)

Pyrock said:


> My son's head instructor's niece is Kyra Gracie and apparently she started when she was 13.
> 
> My daughter is very athletic with a lean muscular build (ex-cheerleader) and is somewhat of a tom-boy. She is built like a young Kyra Gracie.
> 
> ...


 
You've gotten some great responses so I cannot add much to them but I do have a good story..I was "busted" by GM Pellegrini at a seminar once when he caught me in the guard with a young lady..He yelled in mock anger /terror from across the dojang, "Drac, what are you doing to that young lady?".. I answered that the Instructor partnered her up with another lady about her age through much shorter and lighter, there was no challenge for her..I am more the size of a would be attacker..He agreed and we continued..


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