# Oxymorons



## KenpoTess (Mar 5, 2004)

"Oxymoron" - Removing the Ten Commandments from the
courthouse because it mentions God while making people in court rooms
swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help
them God, while placing their hand on the Bible.


----------



## oldnewbie (Mar 5, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> "Oxymoron" - Removing the Ten Commandments from the
> courthouse because it mentions God while making people in court rooms
> swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help
> them God, while placing their hand on the Bible.



Bwaahhahahahaha

How 'bout complaining about the violence in a movie about a CRUSIFICTION!


----------



## Seig (Mar 5, 2004)

oldnewbie said:
			
		

> Bwaahhahahahaha
> 
> How 'bout complaining about the violence in a movie about a CRUSIFICTION!


or that a movie about a Jewish Carpenter is anti-semetic.....


----------



## Ender (Mar 5, 2004)

there's too much violence on the movies I rent!


----------



## Ender (Mar 5, 2004)

Does comedy on tv produce comedy on the streets?


----------



## Seig (Mar 6, 2004)

Ender said:
			
		

> Does comedy on tv produce comedy on the streets?


If you torture a mime, will he scream?


----------



## OULobo (Mar 8, 2004)

Military Intelligence

Kamakazi Helmets


----------



## Andi (Mar 8, 2004)

I'm really sorry...just gotta say..
Scientific American

*ducks*


----------



## Seig (Mar 8, 2004)

Andi said:
			
		

> I'm really sorry...just gotta say..
> Scientific American
> 
> *ducks*


Oh yeah?
What about English Cheer?


----------



## KenpoTex (Mar 9, 2004)

French Military


----------



## TonyM. (Mar 9, 2004)

Japanese sports car
Russian justice
Jumbo shrimp


----------



## OUMoose (Mar 9, 2004)

I've always been confounded by the old Wordprocessing/Spreadsheet/Database type program called "Microsoft Works"...  hmmmmm...


----------



## jeffkyle (Mar 9, 2004)

OUMoose said:
			
		

> I've always been confounded by the old Wordprocessing/Spreadsheet/Database type program called "Microsoft Works"...  hmmmmm...




hahahahahaha!!!    :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao:


----------



## Seig (Mar 9, 2004)

Falling Inflation


----------



## Ceicei (Jul 24, 2004)

Tall midget


----------



## Digital Decay (Jul 25, 2004)

english food

american values

innocent kiss


----------



## Rob Broad (Jul 25, 2004)

Rap Music

But I always thought an oxy-moron was a stupid teenager using clearasil


----------



## TargetAlex (Jul 28, 2004)

Why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway? Not oxymorons, but still confusing....


----------



## Neckbones (Jul 28, 2004)

Seig said:
			
		

> If you torture a mime, will he scream?


If you shoot him, should you use a silencer?


Thundering silence
act naturally
freezer burn
pretty ugly


----------



## Cryozombie (Jul 28, 2004)

Seig said:
			
		

> If you torture a mime, will he scream?



Torture him all you want, he will never talk.

Live on Tape.

Genuine Imitation Leather.

Clearly Confusing.


----------



## Chrono (Jul 28, 2004)

The ladies will like this one.

 Adult male


----------



## shesulsa (Jul 28, 2004)

Dead-end street

 White Chocolate

 Patriotic Revolution

 speed limit


----------



## Bob Hubbard (Jul 28, 2004)

12-Ounce Pound Cake
Alone Together
Authentic Reproduction
Computer Jock
Congressional Ethics
Deafening Silence
Double Solitaire
Found Missing
Greater Cleveland
Hollow Point
Internet Security
"New Antiques arriving daily!"
Organized Mess
Original Copy
Oxymoron (oxy=sharp, moron=dull)
Paid Volunteer
Partially Complete
Stripper's Dressing Room
Turned Up Missing
Unacceptable Solution
Working Vacation


If Con is the opposet of Pro, does that mean Congress is the opposet of Progress?  Hmm....

You go to school to learn to communicate...whats the 1st rule?
No Talking!
No note passing either.
I tried sign language, but that got me a week off.
I'm so con-fused!


----------



## RCastillo (Jul 28, 2004)

George Bush Jr.


----------



## Bob Hubbard (Jul 28, 2004)

It's "OXY-Morons"....that extra 3 letters dude....


----------



## Chrono (Jul 28, 2004)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> If Con is the opposet of Pro, does that mean Congress is the opposet of Progress?  Hmm....
> 
> You go to school to learn to communicate...whats the 1st rule?
> No Talking!
> ...


 I got to ask the first one to my Political Science professor. And the second, to my uncle who works for the school district. They'll get a kick out of it.


----------



## Stick Dummy (Jul 29, 2004)

Oxy-Moron - A drooling idiot using up my VALUABLE air........

Seig knows what I'm talking about


----------



## RCastillo (Jul 29, 2004)

Stick Dummy said:
			
		

> Oxy-Moron - A drooling idiot using up my VALUABLE air........
> 
> Seig knows what I'm talking about



Ouch! :whip:


----------



## Spud (Jul 30, 2004)

From George Carlin:

*Semi-Boneless Ham?*
  Is there a bone? There is a bone. And its a bone. It aint no _semi-bone_.

 Also from George Carlin:

*Holy War
 mandatory options 

  mutual differences 

  nondairy creamer 

  open secret 

  resident alien 

  silent alarm 

  sports sedan 

  wireless cable 

  mercy killing 

  lethal assistance [Contra aid] 

  business ethics 

  friendly fire 

  genuine veneer 

  full-time day care 

  death benefits *


----------



## hardheadjarhead (Aug 5, 2004)

acute dullness 
almost exactly  
British fashion 
calm wind 
Christian Scientists 
clearly ambiguous  
constant variable 
deliberately thoughtless 
exact estimate 
freezer burn 
fresh-frozen 
half naked 

Regards,


Steve


----------



## Feisty Mouse (Aug 5, 2004)

OK, this is sort of an oxymoron, and sort of something that just left me and my mom in tears laughing....

100% virgin acrylic (on a blanket label).

We love textile humor.  I am not kidding.  Tears rolling down our cheeks.


----------

