# Kids in Martial Arts



## Mr G (May 5, 2008)

Hello to all,
I was wondering if there are any other parents out there that train with their kids.  How do you use the lessons learned in the Dojang for the growth of your child?  
I know a lot of schools are filled with kids.  What do we offer?  The obvious answers: Power, discipline, respect. But, does that have results outside of the training halls?

Thank you for your thoughtful responses...


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## OnlyAnEgg (May 5, 2008)

I can speak on this!

My daughter and I began training together a couple weeks ago: her first time and my return after considerable hiatus.  Philosophically, she may not gain much early on; but, she has a bit of a weight problem and training will impact that immediately.

This will likely lead to a sense of confidance, accomplishment and a higher self-esteem, things I encourage during and between training.  At this point, these aspects are priority items for a 15 year old girl.

She will learn discipline and respect, naturally, through extended training.  Combined with a growing set of martial skills and a belief in herself, I cannot but believe she will become a better person; more than that, she will believe it, too.


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## DavidCC (May 5, 2008)

my daughter, now 8, has been going to calsses since she was 4.

she inherited a, umm.... "passionate" nature from her Mom, so the principles of effrort, ettiquette, sincerity, self-control and character have been very useful to us.  She had to memorize the words for her belt reqs anyway, so we use them to re-inforce behavior lessons as needed.

Especailly with her temper, self-control was the most relevant.  Lining up, following directions, paying attention, doing well in kempo class, then in Kindergarten and 1st and now 2nd grade... as she had challenges or bad days, we taught her about self-control and now she is the most disciplined 8 yr old I ever met. She comes and finds US at 8:31 if we aren't tucking her in to bed on time.

However she does now have an "over-developed sense of justice" as our techer calls it, she knws the rules and expects EVERYONE to follow them. So now we are working on the balance between letting other people make their own mistakes so they cna learn their lessons and helping people who need help.  is that too much for an 8 yr old? we'll see.

Oh yeah and between the kempo and the gymnastics she is the biggst strongest girl in 2nd grade, and has more muscles than most of the boys too.


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## terryl965 (May 5, 2008)

Yes the child can learn and carry those lesson inlife if the parent re-enforce what is being tought. My son's all have been studing since they could walk and they are better for it.


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## Nomad (May 5, 2008)

I've been training for 6 years now, and my 9yo daughter has been "training" for 5 (ok, first 2 years was more of a half-hour playtime/storytelling thing). 

We are fortunate enough to have an instructor who is extremely good with bringing in moral and philosophical lessons, especially in the kids' classes.  I think it has done a lot to help her question some things and look at situations in her daily life from different perspectives.  We frequently draw comparisons between the dojo lessons and school life, incidents with her friends, etc.

She has learned how to win and how to lose without it being the end of the world (at least as important, in my book), how to overcome minor fears and discomforts (like being called up in front of the class to demonstrate), and quite a bit about respecting others.

It has also given us a common activity that we can discuss and practice together.  I've got a couple more years that I can act as her coach outside of class before she clearly surpasses me in technique (some of her kicks already look much prettier than mine!).

I'm hopeful that we'll keep doing this together for a long time to come, and look forward to the time she can regularly come to the "senior" classes.


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## terryl965 (May 5, 2008)

Mr G said:


> Hello to all,
> I was wondering if there are any other parents out there that train with their kids. How do you use the lessons learned in the Dojang for the growth of your child?
> I know a lot of schools are filled with kids. What do we offer? The obvious answers: Power, discipline, respect. But, does that have results outside of the training halls?
> 
> Thank you for your thoughtful responses...


 
One thing MR G we have an meet and greet section for all new members maybe pop in and give some background on yourself and family.:asian:


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## Mr G (May 5, 2008)

Thank you all for the discussion.  I enjoy being able to talk with other parents about parenting.  I see tons of advantages for my son.  If he can stay in martial arts I'm sure he'll be more flexible, stronger, and more disciplined then his peers.  

I was wondering HOW you transfer skills learned in Marital Arts to situations outside the Dojong.   For example; My son has learned that practice is important in order to be good at something.  And once he becomes good at a task, he can still improve.  



terryl965 said:


> One thing MR G we have an meet and greet section for all new members maybe pop in and give some background on yourself and family.:asian:



I'll do that.
Thanks to all for the welcome feeling to this forum.


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## TheOriginalName (May 5, 2008)

Personally i do not have children (little versions of me......scary, very scary). 

One of the guys who i train with however has two kids, both of whom train as well. 

He was telling me the other day that his eldest, about 10, was being pullied at school. Some kid who thought he was "all that" started to push him around. So what did he do - he automatically took a strong base stance and did a double hand push (a technique tought to the kids). The bully was put on his backside and has since stopped his "reign of terror". 

So if nothing else - training has equiped his kids with the confidence and skills to stand up for themselves and others.......the spirit of the warrior i believe.


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## Kacey (May 5, 2008)

Mr G said:


> Hello to all,
> I was wondering if there are any other parents out there that train with their kids.  How do you use the lessons learned in the Dojang for the growth of your child?
> I know a lot of schools are filled with kids.  What do we offer?  The obvious answers: Power, discipline, respect. But, does that have results outside of the training halls?
> 
> Thank you for your thoughtful responses...



Well, I'm not a parent, but I am an instructor - and some of my students have been kind enough to tell me how what they learned in TKD affected them outside class.

One young man with diabetes told me that the discipline he learned in TKD helped him learn the discipline he needed to control his blood sugar enough that his doctor finally cleared him to get a driver's license.

Another young man stood up at his high school graduation and thanked me equally with his mother, for giving him the discipline, help and support he needed to graduate.

Another young man (about 14 at the time) was at school when another student tried to pick a fight with him - called him names, called his younger brother (also a student at the same school) names, called his mother names, all in an attempt to get my student to start the fight first... finally the bully gave up and threw the first punch, only to have my student stand there and block - but never attack - for several minutes until a teacher showed up.



Mr G said:


> Thank you all for the discussion.  I enjoy being able to talk with other parents about parenting.  I see tons of advantages for my son.  If he can stay in martial arts I'm sure he'll be more flexible, stronger, and more disciplined then his peers.
> 
> I was wondering HOW you transfer skills learned in Marital Arts to situations outside the Dojong.   For example; My son has learned that practice is important in order to be good at something.  And once he becomes good at a task, he can still improve.



Talk to him - give him concrete examples that help him understand that what he is learning is equally valid outside the dojang.  Equate the physical skills he is learning in the dojang to, for example, reading and math - the more you practice the better you get; the better you get the more there is available to learn.


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## stickarts (May 6, 2008)

My daughter has made the correlation that hard practice at Karate has yielded a lot of improvement. This carries over to her doing her homework at school, practicing her swimming, and everything else that she wants to improve at.
There was also an incident at school where she kept her cool and protected herself while showing restraint. I think her training with us is what prepared her for this kind of response.


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## ktaylor75 (May 6, 2008)

My kids have only been training since October last year.  A couple months ago, a boy (in my son's class--3rd grade) swung at him to hit him, but my son was so proud to tell me that he blocked it!  He then told the other kid he _knew karate_ and the other kid walked away....I got a chuckle out of his story, but was very proud of him.


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## Chitmunk (Jul 29, 2008)

Though I have no children of my own, I trained with my father when I was a child.  Having a good practice partner at home between classes is very good to help develop skill.  It also helped me to bond with my father.  Just be careful when sparring... my dad felt so bad when he jammed my finger while we were light sparring with no pads... kinda funny now though.


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## Lynne (Jul 30, 2008)

My daughter is 18 and has been training almost two years.  I've been training with her the last 15 months.  We've actually been very fortunate in that she has never been a discipline problem, has always had self-esteem yet humility, and has always been respectful to her peers and elders.

However, she is sometimes short on patience with other people but she's very good at hiding it because she is so respectful. None of the rolling of the eyes or sarcasm.  You'd never know.

She is now assisting the instructors in the kid's classes.  This is definitely teaching her patience because the kid's can be discipline problems at times.  She is learning how to mentor, encourage, and instruct.  I think assistant teaching is maturing her even more.

I'm not sure what is to come at her level, red belt (before midnight blue - our "black), but I imagine the next two years will offer a lot of growth.  Most likely her focus and determination will be tested, not to mention physical fitness.


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## cbjr5 (Jul 30, 2008)

At the beginning of this year my entire family signed up for TKD.  My four daughters ranging from age 19-9, my wife and I.  We find it a great way to share a common interest among all of us as well to carry on good conversation at the dinner table.  As some things taught in TKD like Courtesy, I never had a real issue on that with my children, but it is nicer to see them use words as "Mam" and "Sir" when addressing others as well as them being more assertive when speaking to adults.  I often find children to be more soft spoken when they have to speak to adults.  Overall, I feel the philosophies taught in Martial Arts can be a positive influence on ones life.


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## hkfuie (Jan 3, 2009)

I, too, have no kids of my own.  But one of my favorite stories is about a family that all trained together.  Most parents who join the class want their kids to learn to have more respect for them.

This is a little different.  The oldest boy actually began class first.  At his tournaments, his dad would get so angry when he would make a mistake in his forms.

Later when the rest of the family joined class and we went to a tournament, the dad competed in forms.  He actually froze during the form for a couple seconds.  He was so mad at himself!

He later told me that he learned so much respect for his son after that experience.  It did his son a world of good to hear that his dad understood how difficult it was to get up in front of everyone and that he understood it was OK to have made those mistakes.  
I think it is really wonderful to be able to see this kind of growing closer among family members.  

Those of you who have family who train are very lucky!


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