# How To Fly An Airplane



## Carol (Oct 27, 2009)

E-mailed to me from a buddy of mine:

1. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

2. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

3. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

4. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

5. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

6. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

7. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

8. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

9. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

10. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

11. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

12. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Safe journeys, everyone


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Oct 27, 2009)

The one in my old Civil Air Patrol headquarters used to read:

If you pull the stick toward you, the houses get smaller.

If you push the stick away, the houses get bigger.

if you pull the stick and keep it pulled, the houses get smaller and then get bigger again.

Also:

"A good landing is one you walk away from. A great landing is one where they can use the aircraft again".


----------



## Bill Mattocks (Oct 27, 2009)

Some I had heard from air wingers in the FMF:



There are old pilots.  And there are bold pilots.  But there are no old, bold, pilots.
Loseth not thine airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee.
Helicopters are better than fixed-wing aircraft, because what would you rather do - beat your way through the air, or suck and blow?


----------



## Big Don (Oct 27, 2009)

The propellers are just fans to keep the pilot cool, when it stops, watch how fast he starts sweating.


----------



## arnisador (Oct 28, 2009)

I'll keep betting on the ground, I suppose!


----------



## MBuzzy (Oct 28, 2009)

As far as I'm concerned, all planes do is damage the runway.  Without airplanes, the concrete on the runway would be in pristine condition.


----------



## Matthew McMullen (Oct 29, 2009)

MBuzzy said:


> As far as I'm concerned, all planes do is damage the runway.  Without airplanes, the concrete on the runway would be in pristine condition.



Yeah but without planes we wouldn't need the concrete runway.


----------

