# Why every martial art on earth will get you killed in self defencemy



## Headhunter (Jul 27, 2018)

Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.

But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.

No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.


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## Headhunter (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.


Probably but who cares just give me my damm money and I'll give you a cool looking certificate calling you a true badass. I'll even throw in a free Skype session for a personal message off me


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## JR 137 (Jul 27, 2018)

Finally gave up on the Kenpo crap, huh?


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> I'll even throw in a free Skype session for a personal message off me



I don't use Skype, some guy on YouTube said it'll get you beaten or killed in self defence...


Edit: he even showed a video of someone using something that looked a bit like A.I.M. which failed him, so proof innit.


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## Headhunter (Jul 27, 2018)

JR 137 said:


> Finally gave up on the Kenpo crap, huh?


A summary of my new found beliefs Your Art is Bullsh*t - YouTube


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## wab25 (Jul 27, 2018)

But again... will you give me a free lesson?


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.
> 
> But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.
> 
> No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.


It's true. I watched one of your YouTube videos for 5000 pounds(adjusted for CAD) and tested it by sparring against my untrained grandmother.

And guess what, I won. Pure undeniable proof.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

So, everyone round to headhunter's place for a free lesson with tea and biscuits?

I suppose I'll accept coffee and cake, but then I'll need 2 free lessons.


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Ah, but I heard trying to use headhunter-do-jitsu will get you beaten or killed in self defence.


THat's a common misconception actually. Headhunter-do will get you beaten or killed in self defense. Headhunter-do-jitsu actually gets you both.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> tested it by sparring against my untrained grandmother



We're going to need a "sparring story" video before it's admissable evidence.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

kempodisciple said:


> THat's a common misconception actually. Headhunter-do will get you beaten or killed in self defense. Headhunter-do-jitsu actually gets you both.



Aw, I was hoping that wasn't true.

I don't mind getting beaten _or_ killed, but both?

That'd ruin my cigarette break.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Aw, I was hoping that wasn't true.
> 
> I don't mind getting beaten _or_ killed, but both?
> 
> That'd ruin my cigarette break.


Killed, then beaten.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Like that time I got attacked by 6 gunmen armed with throwing chemicals, 3 hammers and 5 dogs.

They killed me 16 times but I still won.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Like that time I got attacked by 6 gunmen armed with throwing chemicals, 3 hammers and 5 dogs.
> 
> They killed me 16 times but I still won.


But not beaten?


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## Headhunter (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> We're going to need a "sparring story" video before it's admissable evidence.


Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> But not beaten?



Definitely not beaten.

I used taekwon-do, which only gets you killed _or_ beaten, not both.

Never both.

Demonstrates how incomplete it is...


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt



No video recounting the stories in a piece to camera = no real evidence.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Definitely not beaten.
> 
> I used taekwon-do, which only gets you killed _or_ beaten, not both.
> 
> ...



You definitely need some modern self defense classes.


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## pdg (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> You definitely need some modern self defense classes.



Can I learn it online?

I'm scared to leave the house before becoming a self defence expert.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

pdg said:


> Can I learn it online?
> 
> I'm scared to leave the house before becoming a self defence expert.


Your in luck then. Face to face instruction will get you beaten or killed in self defense.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

Liking my posts will definitely get you beaten or killed in self defense.


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## JR 137 (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt


I hit Muhammad Ali with the delayed death touch when I sparred with him back in ‘82.  I’m pretty sure everyone knows how that turned out for him.

And I was 6 when I did that.  Being 42, I’ve been refining it for the last 6 decades or so since.  I can teach it to anyone, but I can only do that by hitting them with it.  I’ll gladly give the option for how long you want the death touch delay.  But the longer the delay, the more it’ll cost ya.  I don’t want you running around on YouTube and giving my secrets away or selling them so it becomes a style that’ll get you beaten or killed. We all know how styles turn out.


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## JR 137 (Jul 27, 2018)

I just attack.  It’s self offense.  And I don’t use a any style when I attack, because that’ll get me beaten or killed too.

Pure attacking without style will kill and beat everything.  It’s a proven fact.  Every self defense style gets you killed or beaten.  Don’t defend, just attack!!!  Without style!!!

Edit:  I can still be fashionable without style, right?


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

JR 137 said:


> I just attack.  It’s self offense.  And I don’t use a any style when I attack, because that’ll get me beaten or killed too.
> 
> Pure attacking without style will kill and beat everything.  It’s a proven fact.  Every self defense style gets you killed or beaten.  Don’t defend, just attack!!!  Without style!!!
> 
> Edit:  I can still be fashionable without style, right?



Winning with style is how you get to be Kycho, Soke, and grandmaster.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

TSDTexan said:


> Winning with style is how you get to be Kycho, Soke, and grandmaster.


No, all styles get you beaten or killed.


Even hairstyles.


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> No, all styles get you beaten or killed.
> 
> 
> Even hairstyles.


ill have you know.... being bald is not a hairstyle. it's a mark of distinction I am aiming for, but have yet to fully achieve.

But my /sark comment was directed at the 10,000 Soke and other 10 dan Kychos running around.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

I could literally trip over a kycho and not know what it was.

Would knowing this get me beaten or killed?


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> I could literally trip over a kycho and not know what it was.
> 
> Would knowing this get me beaten or killed?


of course, but only if it was Frank Dux.

Kaichō... Chairman or President


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

Nobody beats Frank Dux.

Haven't you ever seen the highly regarded martial arts documentary, Bloodsport?


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> Nobody beats Frank Dux.
> 
> Haven't you ever seen the highly regarded martial arts documentary, Bloodsport?


Wasn't he a navy seal for a while, and in the CIA and won the Medal of Honor..... seems like he walked all that back tho.

What a ninja.... wait a second.... Ninjitsu is a Style!


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## lansao (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter, make t-shirts. I’ll buy one.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

TSDTexan said:


> Wasn't he a navy seal for a while, and in the CIA and won the Medal of Honor..... seems like he walked all that back tho.
> 
> What a ninja.... wait a second.... Ninjitsu is a Style!


I'm pretty sure Dux Ryu is the one and only style on Earth that won't get you beaten or killed.


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## JR 137 (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> Nobody beats Frank Dux.
> 
> Haven't you ever seen the highly regarded martial arts documentary, Bloodsport?


Chuck Norris


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> I'm pretty sure Dux Ryu is the one and only style on Earth that won't get you beaten or killed.


wait!



Martial D said:


> No, all styles get you beaten or killed.



I am having a moment of cognitive dissonance here.

All but not all.

So ninjitsu is Not a Style! ok got it solved.


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## lansao (Jul 27, 2018)

All of you have unfortunately failed at naming the right invincible master.

Obviously it’s Master Splinter.


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

lansao said:


> All of you have unfortunately failed at naming the right invincible master.
> 
> Obviously it’s Master Splinter.



nope its Master Shredder for the win....
He just killed the Silver Samurai on Epic Deathbattle
Skip to the fight at 13 minutes 51 seconds.


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## drop bear (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.
> 
> But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.
> 
> No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.



And look. there is no such thing as a superior style because martial arts success is about the individual. So long as people are having fun that is the important factor. This style is more specifically designed for combat in a modern context so it is better for modern fighting. And the IDF do it.

And anyone who hasn't trained in this style does not have the authority to judge whether the style works or not. And so we can only go off the opinion of a qualified expert. Which in this case would have to be the creator of that style.

So yeah seems legit to me.


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## drop bear (Jul 27, 2018)

JR 137 said:


> I hit Muhammad Ali with the delayed death touch when I sparred with him back in ‘82.  I’m pretty sure everyone knows how that turned out for him.
> 
> And I was 6 when I did that.  Being 42, I’ve been refining it for the last 6 decades or so since.  I can teach it to anyone, but I can only do that by hitting them with it.  I’ll gladly give the option for how long you want the death touch delay.  But the longer the delay, the more it’ll cost ya.  I don’t want you running around on YouTube and giving my secrets away or selling them so it becomes a style that’ll get you beaten or killed. We all know how styles turn out.



Same but it was Michael J Fox.


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## Martial D (Jul 27, 2018)

TSDTexan said:


> wait!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Logic is a style.

Seriously how have you not been beaten or killed yet?


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## drop bear (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> I could literally trip over a kycho and not know what it was.
> 
> Would knowing this get me beaten or killed?



He was the president on idiocracy.


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## TSDTexan (Jul 27, 2018)

Martial D said:


> Logic is a style.
> 
> Seriously how have you not been beaten or killed yet?


My respawn timer is broken, every time I die it just resets and I keep breathing.


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## Anarax (Jul 27, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Cause I watched some YouTube videos now I'm a 10th degree black belt in every style and my friends dads sons aunts moms sisters dog did martial arts and got beat up so that means martial arts is terrible and you will die a painful death if you do it.
> 
> But fear not my friends I have invented a brand new style which is the best thing ever and I will share for a small fee of 5000 pounds a week. A small price to pay for learning the only way to survive on this earth.
> 
> No need to thank me my friends it's the least I can do.


Unless your style can take out multiple attackers all armed with firearms, I have no interest in taking it.


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Jul 28, 2018)

drop bear said:


> And look. there is no such thing as a superior style because martial arts success is about the individual. So long as people are having fun that is the important factor. This style is more specifically designed for combat in a modern context so it is better for modern fighting. And the IDF do it.
> 
> And anyone who hasn't trained in this style does not have the authority to judge whether the style works or not. And so we can only go off the opinion of a qualified expert. Which in this case would have to be the creator of that style.
> 
> So yeah seems legit to me.


This made me laugh way more than it should.


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## TSDTexan (Jul 28, 2018)

Anarax said:


> Unless your style can take out multiple attackers all armed with firearms, I have no interest in taking it.


 Would you like to sign up for some online classes in "Nuke-it-from-orbit-Fu"? It was created for dealing with all of your pesky, multiple hostilities (armed or otherwise).... and after all it's the only way to make sure.

Class size is limited, but you get a real certificate, a sword, some nunchucks, and a belt red or black.... your choice.

Now I will be glad to email you a contract that will lock you in for 24 months but if you prepay the program, in full, we will knock 20% off the 3000.00 tuition.

We include a 100% money back guarantee.
*that only is valid if you reside on the moon.


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## Ryan_ (Jul 28, 2018)

Headhunter said:


> Sure. I have sparred with Bruce lee, ed Parker and hello Gracie and guess what....they are all now dead....there what more proof do people need now send me your cash and you get a free t shirt


I wasn't convinced, but free t-shirt? Okay, PayPal or direct debit?


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## lansao (Jul 28, 2018)

I’ve found irrefutable evidence of headhunter-fu’s technical superiority. Check out this sparring match by his greatest pupil, wimp lo. #nostyle


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## Anarax (Jul 28, 2018)

TSDTexan said:


> Would you like to sign up for some online classes in "Nuke-it-from-orbit-Fu"? It was created for dealing with all of your pesky, multiple hostilities (armed or otherwise).... and after all it's the only way to make sure.
> 
> Class size is limited, but you get a real certificate, a sword, some nunchucks, and a belt red or black.... your choice.
> 
> ...



Hmmm, sounds tempting. I do have sovereign citizenship on the moon, so sign me up. Will you show me nerf gun disarms?


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## Buka (Jul 28, 2018)

Bah. Peasants! You must be tired of living. (Please insert video not in sync with lips moving)

There is only Sticky Bud Fu. Once the incense is lit.....your techniques will be worthless and you will die the death of a thousand laughing hyenas.


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## CB Jones (Jul 28, 2018)

Buka said:


> Bah. Peasants! You must be tired of living. (Please insert video not in sync with lips moving)
> 
> There is only Sticky Bud Fu. Once the incense is lit.....your techniques will be worthless and you will die the death of a thousand laughing hyenas.



But only the stickiest of the icky will allow you to reach mastery level.


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## TSDTexan (Jul 28, 2018)

Anarax said:


> Hmmm, sounds tempting. I do have sovereign citizenship on the moon, so sign me up. Will you show me nerf gun disarms?



We cover both nerf and airsoft disarms. the airsoft disarms are in the master instructor and commerce representative course.

And the with completion of this course, you will be able and authorized to begin making money selling this course. and the best part is.   You don't train anybody, We do.
But for every one that your students "recruit" you get a percentage of each and every tuition... and that's called your down line. And every student, or even students of students for 20 generations will get you a percentage of that tuition!

We will make you rich!
The master course only happens 3 or 4 times a year. We will fly you out to Fiji for a week long Masters Seminar. Tuition is on a sliding scale, as low as 15k.

Chump change.... at our last training seminar, a former college cheerleader/drop out single mother of eight... set a new record. She did 3.4 million in sales.

She has been given purchase directorship over Australia and New Zealand. She is going to retire at 40.

So sign up for the Master today.... what are you waiting for?


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## Buka (Jul 28, 2018)

CB Jones said:


> But only the stickiest of the icky will allow you to reach mastery level.


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## Grenadier (Jul 28, 2018)

*Admin's Note:*

OK, folks, the threads in question have been dealt with, and there's no need to carry on this kind of a discussion the General Self-Defense forum.


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