# How to Impress a woman



## Disco (Jun 15, 2004)

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

Wine her.
Dine her.
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.




HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don't block the TV.


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## OUMoose (Jun 15, 2004)

You forgot:
Train yourself to be able to lick your eyebrow

That always brings the women...


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## Taimishu (Jun 15, 2004)

Dont forget

Buy them CHOCOLATE.

David


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## theletch1 (Jun 15, 2004)

I've heard that a man's perfect wife is: a porn star in the bedroom and June Cleaver the minute her feet hit the floor. :uhyeah:


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## shesulsa (Jun 15, 2004)

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue in less than 10 seconds...and I can tape drywall, too!

How's that?


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## Bob Hubbard (Jun 15, 2004)

That sound you hear is the male members spontaniously combusting at the thought.


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## mj-hi-yah (Jun 15, 2004)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> That sound you hear is the male members spontaniously combusting at the thought.


Excellent job Shesula...no more hiding in the ladies locker room necessary!!!artyon: 



Oh, but who's going to take out the garbage?????


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## OUMoose (Jun 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue in less than 10 seconds...and I can tape drywall, too!
> 
> How's that?



I don't want the woman who can tie it... I want the woman who can UNTIE it with her tongue... :fanboy:


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## shesulsa (Jun 15, 2004)

yeah...but I can tie the bowline knot with it....I UNTIE with my teeth.

....I noticed nobody said anything about my ability to tape drywall.....

oh, and MJ?  my new vi****or will take out the garbage AND mow the lawn!


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## Hollywood1340 (Jun 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue in less than 10 seconds...and I can tape drywall, too!
> 
> How's that?


 
My ex used to do two..in one stem. Ah...those days *sigh*


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## mj-hi-yah (Jun 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> oh, and MJ? my new vi****or will take out the garbage AND mow the lawn!


:lool: what's the model number on that baby?


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## shesulsa (Jun 15, 2004)

mj-hi-yah said:
			
		

> :lool: what's the model number on that baby?


...*sigh*...dunno...my husband scratched it off....:rpo:...that's okay - the next prototype is supposed to make coffee and wax floors, too!


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## mj-hi-yah (Jun 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> ...*sigh*...dunno...my husband scratched it off....:rpo:...that's okay - the next prototype is supposed to make coffee and wax floors, too!


Man o man if it get any more productive...won't have to worry 'bout no husbands scratching anything!


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## shesulsa (Jun 16, 2004)

Buy her a nice...er...toy.  

I gotta say all you guys are great to put up with all of this!  Respectful pats on the back all around!   artyon:


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## Cryozombie (Jun 18, 2004)

Haha... With discussions like this, you belong on Kaith's othe board in the Dark Kingdom I think...


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## bluenosekenpo (Jun 18, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Buy her a nice...er...toy.
> 
> I gotta say all you guys are great to put up with all of this!  Respectful pats on the back all around!   artyon:



you know i sat in a bar with a girl that was doing that and every, i mean every guy within visual range was completely transfixed. maybe this will help explain why.

Women vs. Men

*Womens' English *  

Yes = No

No = Yes

May-b = No

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now!

"Do what u want" = You'll pay 4 this later!

We need to talk" = I need to *****.

"Sure......Go ahead" = I don't want you too.

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron!

"How much do u love me?" = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me i'm beautiful.

"You have to learn to communicate!" = Just agree with me.

"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead!

*Men's English*

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

"I'm tired " = I'm tired

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you to dinner?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress" = Nice cleavage.

"You look tensed, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong? " = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you" = Let's have sex right now.

"I love you too" = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!

"Let's talk" = I am tryin' to impress you by showing that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

 :asian:


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## michaeledward (Jun 19, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue in less than 10 seconds...
> How's that?


I was always told to beware of women with swords and orange ribbons in their hair.

M


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## Seig (Jun 19, 2004)

Well, this has certainly been educational.


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## KenpoTess (Jun 21, 2004)

ahems...


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## shesulsa (Jun 21, 2004)

michaeledward said:
			
		

> I was always told to beware of women with swords and orange ribbons in their hair.


:boing1:...he he he he he he he....:moon:


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