# Methodology of self-defense in five words or less



## bugatabugata (Jun 4, 2012)

Two of my newb buddies went up for their first belt today (and it was a great success!). We were going over the self-defense arrangements and I was trying to give them some "real-world" context/pointers. This is what came out:

"When in doubt, just kick them in the bal*z and run away."
"What if they're a girl?"
"Then punch them in the bo*b and run away."

Pretty sure that got the point across ))


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## seasoned (Jun 4, 2012)

5 words or less.

1 engage
2 strike
3 Sweep
4 stomp
5 run


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## Carol (Jun 4, 2012)

Avoid.
Forgive.
Escape.
Block.
Attack.


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## jks9199 (Jun 4, 2012)

Avoid.  Evade.  Deflect.  Deter.  Escape.


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## mook jong man (Jun 4, 2012)

Hope
I
Don't
Crap
Myself


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## Steve (Jun 4, 2012)

Don't hang out in bars.


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## Josh Oakley (Jun 5, 2012)

Dodge, dip, duck, dive, dodge.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2


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## seasoned (Jun 5, 2012)

Carol said:


> Avoid.
> Forgive.
> Escape.
> Block.
> Attack.






jks9199 said:


> Avoid.  Evade.  Deflect.  Deter.  Escape.






mook jong man said:


> Hope
> 
> I
> Don't
> ...






Steve said:


> Don't hang out in bars.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk






Josh Oakley said:


> Dodge, dip, duck, dive, dodge.
> 
> Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2




Pertaining to my post. 

1 anyway
2 I
3 can
4 retract
5 it


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## Cyriacus (Jun 5, 2012)

Roar
Strike
Throw
Pound repeatedly

5 words. Woohoo!


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## WC_lun (Jun 5, 2012)

Make them recover.  Keep pressing.


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## Tgace (Jun 5, 2012)

Bang bang bang bang bang!

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## Jenna (Jun 5, 2012)

A wing and a prayer


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## Jenna (Jun 5, 2012)

Carol said:


> Avoid.
> *Forgive.*
> Escape.
> Block.
> Attack.



+1

It is clever Carol..


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## Tony Dismukes (Jun 5, 2012)

Control ego, anger.  Avoid *******s.


(Steve's answer above has a lot to recommend it.  When I go out on a date with my wife, we typically spend time at the bookstore.  You know how often you see a drunken brawl break out at Barnes & Noble?  Not very often.)


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 5, 2012)

Just
Be
My
charming
self


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## Rich Parsons (Jun 5, 2012)

Rule number one is Avoidance. 
Avoid a bad part of town. Avoid putting yourself into bad spots. Avoid ... ,...
Rule Number two. See Rule Number one. 

In many states it is against the law to become the aggressor. For example in my state there is a law that says you can defend yourself with equal and opposite force without showing or expressing extreme emotion. So I guess I cannot call you names and or tell you what I plan to do by yelling it at you. So giving you or your students the idea that one can bring the most force the quickest will end the conflict and possible be the best self defense once engagement has occurred is not the best for legal reasons. 

So, see above about Avoidance which I do teach in that manner. 

I do like a Ranger saying (* Nope never served myself, just have friends and hang out with *):
Slow is smooth, Smooth is Fast. (* Four (4) unique words six (6) total. Average of five (5)  *)

I also like:
Understand you will be hit. 

Train well


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## Tgace (Jun 5, 2012)

This reminds me of something I wrote years ago:

As a LEO I believe I can give you the "magic formula" to avoid 99% of "street attacks":

Don't participate in illegal activity. Don't hang out with people who attract trouble (need I clarify that?). Don't hang out in places that attract trouble. Don't get drunk or high. Don't tolerate domestic violence, call the police and/or leave the abuser. Be alert to your surroundings and if something "feels" wrong...leave. Many people stick around thinking that they are being needlessly paranoid.

For that remaining 1% of instances where you are attacked while just "minding your own business"...study an art that exposes you to striking/grappling/fighting with a resisting opponent and exposes you to getting hit and working through exhaustion and stress. Be aware of your states self defense laws, and have a plan for "post-incident" already thought out.

And throughout it all, everyday, practice your skill sets.


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## Nomad (Jun 5, 2012)

I can do it in four:

Keep your mouth shut!


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## Carol (Jun 5, 2012)

Josh Oakley said:


> Dodge, dip, duck, dive, dodge.
> 
> Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2



Is the second Dodge for when you drive away? 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD


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## bugatabugata (Jun 6, 2012)

Stop showering, brushing your teeth or changing your clothes; switch to a garlic-based diet. Anyone who picks a fight with you then, must be REALLY committed.


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## bugatabugata (Jun 6, 2012)

Also, disclaimer time: this thread was not intended to be serious in any way, shape or form -- just looking for funny self-defense themed puns (five word thing optional). At this point in my training I don't necessarily feel confident teaching someone how to tie their belt -- never mind educate them on the finer points of self defense. 

My two buddies were having a hard time remembering the order of the moves on the first ten self defense forms and getting anxious, so I was trying to ease them up before the test. Plus, they're peers. I'd sooner punch myself in the boob (hard) than say something like that in front of the little kids, or anyone else that might actually take me seriously. Cheers!


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## bugatabugata (Jun 6, 2012)

Tony Dismukes said:


> Control ego, anger.  Avoid *******s.
> 
> 
> (You know how often you see a drunken brawl break out at Barnes & Noble?  Not very often.)


 Don't know about that Tony -- did you go to any of the Harry Potter release events?


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## Zoran (Jun 6, 2012)

KISS

Keep it simple stupid 

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## seasoned (Jun 6, 2012)

In all fairness, there are many circumstances that would change the above scenario a bit.

Where I was attacked, geographically. (Which was covered, but we don't all hang in book stores and church every time we go out.)  

Did it come without warning.

Certain jobs would compel you to respond differently.

If a loved one that was with you got attacked.

I'm sure there are more, just saying, for some realism.


I see it coming, so as Josh oakley said, this will be my reaction here, below...........



> Originally Posted by Josh Oakley Dodge, dip, duck, dive, dodge.


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