# Sending calming signals



## Flea (Feb 16, 2010)

This is a followup question to the pre-violence indicators.  I know there is body language one can use to communicate "no trouble!"  For instance :

Using a quiet voice
Smile
Open hands

What else is there?  I poked around online and all I found were canine calming signals.  Somehow I don't think stopping and sniffing the ground is going to do it here ...  :uhyeah:

The workshop is tonight, and I am otherwise well prepared.  It's going to be a good evening.


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## thardey (Feb 16, 2010)

Flea said:


> This is a followup question to the pre-violence indicators. I know there is body language one can use to communicate "no trouble!" For instance :
> 
> Using a quiet voice
> Smile
> ...


 

"Mirroring" someone works well to calm them down. (As long as you don't mirror the aggressive movements.) Match their "rythym" -- the cadence of their voice, if they are shifting their weight, etc. It has a "hypnotizing" effect. Then you can sometimes get their erratic rythym to get into a regular, predictable beat, and it calms them down, and helps them connect with you.

Also, if things do escalate, you've got them stuck into an unconscious pattern that you can use to break their OODA loop. (It works great in sparring and fencing.)

Another trick to de-ecsalate (It's more of a verbal trick than physical) is to re-direct their aggression towards something else, or someone who is not there at the moment. I suppose you can back that up with physicall standing in a way to give them a "path of least resistance." 

"Cavalry Squares" were invented first to counter charges from elephants. They found that if they gave charigng elephants, and also horses, clear lanes to run down, the elephants would take them, and charge harmlessly past the army -- even footsoldiers.

However, don't turn your back, or show a sign of surrender. It turns you into "prey" that the hunter will instinctively pursue. 

Napoleon was a master of this -- while an enemy was facing you, there is a natural aversion to attack, but once the enemy retreated, it was natural to chase them down and kill them from behind.

I beleive a lot of what works psychologically on a large-scale battlefield works on a one-on-one situation as well.


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## Nomad (Feb 16, 2010)

Closing distance is often seen as aggressive; conversely, backing up and gaining space (if possible) can be conciliatory, while at the same time providing you with more options if things head south.


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## Touch Of Death (Feb 16, 2010)

Again, attitude is everything. Before there is even an encounter, be vibrant, keep your head up, and be your normal happy self. People will like you.
Sean

P.S. Or just offer them some chowder. LOL


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## Flea (Feb 16, 2010)

Thanks everyone!  I will certainly put his in my notes.  I'd heard a little about mirroring, it's nice to have that explained.

What's the OODA loop?

And personally, I'm more of a minestrone woman myself.

:cheers:


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## Dirty Dog (Feb 16, 2010)

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought "Oh no... MartialTalk is being invaded by scientologists!"


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## seasoned (Feb 16, 2010)

Distancing is key to not setting them off. A drill I was shown while at a class was to have two lines facing each other at about 10 feet apart. At the time of the class I knew nothing about personal space, and the ramifications of violating it. Now, have one side take one step at a time toward the other line. At a point of feeling uncomfortable, the stationary line will say stop. Once a personal space has been established for both sides the class as a whole will talk about their feelings, once their personal space was infringed upon. The more we know someone the personal space circle will get smaller, but with a stranger it is very much bigger.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 16, 2010)

Flea said:


> Open hands


 
My xingyi sifu used open hands out to the side a bit at around shoulder level rather succesfully in difusing situations as well as talking to the person.

However his hand position had a lot to do with appearing to be as non-confrontational as possible...and of course the speed with which he could get to Piquan, Paoquan, Zuanquan, Hengquan or Bengquan from there :EG:


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## Chris Parker (Feb 16, 2010)

Hey Flea,

The big thing to remember is to not give an "easy target" signal as well. It can be rather too easy to think you are appearing non-aggressive, when the actual message is "I offer no resistance, hit away". The trick here is to match firm, confident, decisive words and actions with the non-aggressive message. 

For example, with your hands, if they are up at about shoulder height with your palms facing out, the message is "I give up". If they are low with the palms facing up, the message is "I don't have anything", if your hands are out to the sides, it is a direct signal of "hit me!", as it shows no confidence at all. Best is to have both hands open, and in front of your body, one hand slightly further in front (creating a barrier). This is a lot easier to show than to write, I'm afraid.

As to the OODA Loop, it stands for Observe Orient Decide Act. In essence, it says that whenever a new stimulus comes into your environment (a punch coming towards your head), you need to first Observe (There's a punch coming at me!), then Orient (It's coming at my head, I need to do something!), Decide (I'll use an evasion and counter punch), then finally Act (Evade, and counter punch). This is a concept developed within the military, popularised by individuals such as Graeme Keurschner (hmm, think I spelt that correctly...) and Jim Wagner. 

The concept is not without issues, of course. The main one is that it takes a while to employ, and should any aspect change you start again. So if there is a punch coming towards you, you Observe it, Orient to it, and start to Decide what to do, at which point they see you reacting (or if you take too long deciding, usually due to too many options, you get hit by that first strike), and change what they are doing, you need to Observe what the new stimulus is, Orient to that, Decide again, and so on.

Oh, and a few notes on "mirroring". Don't overdo it, as that can be taken as aggressive, as people can be sensitive to being "mimicked". If they have both hands on their hips, do that, but don't copy every movement. Another use for the term "mirroring", though, is also useful. In this one, you present the opposite to the other person. If they have their right foot forward, you have your left. This does a few things, but tactically, the opponent is presented with a different image than what they are used to. It gives different targets, leaving them unsure of where and how to attack. This is why Southpaws tend to have a great deal of success in things like boxing and kickboxing.


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## KenpoTex (Feb 16, 2010)

Flea said:


> What's the OODA loop?



The OODA-Loop is a model created by Col. John Boyd USAF to provide an illustration/description of the decision making cycle we go through when performing an action (doesn't matter whether we're driving in traffic, in a fight, whatever...we go through this process).

An understanding of this process is, IMO, vital for a student of self-defense/combat.  Here are some links that provide a description of the Loop.

This one is a brief description but has a good "picture" of the loop
http://www.valuebasedmanagement.net/...ooda_loop.html

The Wiki page...another picture and some more description and examples
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

This one is a simple explanation with a few different examples of how the loop applies in combat/fighting
http://www.spartancops.com/ooda-loop...mbat-strategy/


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