# You might be a democrat if



## Tgace (Dec 6, 2004)

You Might Be A Democrat If...


You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy. 

You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense. 

The closest you've ever actually been to a rain forest is a Sting concert. 

You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi. 

You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies. 

You would rather have Bill Clinton make your investments than Fidelity. 

You've never had to worry about marginal tax rates. 

You have to use the term "mean spirited" in every sentence when talking about welfare reform. 

You actually expect to collect Social Security. 

You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy. 

You have a "Run, Jesse Run" bumper sticker on your diesel Volvo. 

You think the Great Society has actually worked. 

You got teary eyed during the film "The American President." 

You think Ayn Rand is an African currency. 

You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill. 

You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family. 

You've tried to get in touch with Hillary's broker. 

You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese. 

You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore. 

You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy. 

You think that Vietnam and Bosnia are two completely different situations. 

You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to. 

You like Rolling Stone, but they should really get rid of that PJ O'Rourke guy. 

You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post. 

You know at least one Vegan. 

You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving. 

You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock. 

You actually believe that Clinton has created 4 million jobs. 

You think Capital Formation refers to the Secret Service contingent following Bill on his daily jog to McDonalds. 

You think that the Teamsters are misunderstood. 

You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard). 

You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heros. 

You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash. 

You would send your kids to public schools, if they just had better extracurriculars. 

You think Al Gore is the second most powerful person in Washington. 

You actually think that poverty can be abolished. 

You think that Joan Baez had something to say. 

You admire the Swedish welfare system. 

You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness." 

You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%. 

You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic. 

You know that Vince Foster wasn't having an affair with Hillary because no one is that desperate.


You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.


You've named your kids "Stardust" or "Moonbeam."


You've tried to argue that all of societies problems are based on the fact that McDonald's, by law, only has to pay $5/hr.


If you utter the phrase "There ought to be a law" at least once a week.


If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".


If you find yourself nodding vigorously and saying "someone finally said it right" during an episode of Oprah.


You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.


You know you never laughed as a kid, the world was in just too bad a shape.


All of your 1970's "Beware of Global Freezing" signs now have "Beware of Global Warming" on the back.


Your friends told you how much fun you had at the Grateful Dead show, but your not sure what year you saw them.


You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating that your bags are subject to inspection.


You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".


Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic, lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".


You argued that a few more months of sanctions and Sadam Hussein would fold like rookie poker player.


You know more than 2 people who have a degree in "Womyn's Studies."


You've ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for the women of this country!"


You blame things on "The Man."


You believe that Bart Simpson only needs a little more affection.


You've ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man's inhumanity to man!"


You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian society.


You've ever called the meter maid a Fascist.


You are giddy at the prospect of the return of bell bottoms.


You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized militias.


You view Jane Fonda as a courageous heroine with strong convictions.


You view Hootie and the Blowfish as the bedrock of culture refinement for the 90's.


After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is undertaxed."


You've ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."


You've ever referred to "the glass ceiling."


You know 2 or more people with "concrete proof" that the Pentagon is covering up: Roswell the Kennedy assassination the CIA's role in creating AIDS.


You came of age in the '60s and don't remember.


You've ever owned a VW bug or ridden in a Microbus.


You own something that says Dukakis for President, and still display it.


You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something this important."


You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."


You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian budget cuts."


You've ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.


You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.


You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.


You are outraged that Baseball Players make millions and the poor clerk at the unemployment office only makes 28 bucks an hour doing such good work.


You believe that an elected official attending religious services is a violation of the separation of Church and state.


You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.


You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.


You think that Al Gore macherena thing was a laugh riot.


You feel that Green Peace is misunderstood.


You keep your PC dictionary with you at all times so as not to offend.


You think communism will catch on once society has evolved.


You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so...."


You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?"


You don't understand all the commotion about Whitewater, Vince Foster,selling US foreign policy for campaign contributions, it's just politics, right?


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## Melissa426 (Dec 7, 2004)

Tgace said:
			
		

> You Might Be A Democrat If...
> 
> 1. You got teary eyed during the film "The American President."
> 2. You get goose bumps when Barbra Streisand sings for Bill.
> ...


 
First of all, this list is pretty hilarious, but it does seem dated.  No reference to anything since GW got elected the *first* time.

1. Only during the romantic parts
2.  Barbra can flat out sing, I might get goose bumps if she sang the "the Alphabet song."
3. Not any more!
4. You wouldn't be dissin' Oprah if you were in the audience the day she gave everyone a car! 
5.  Actually, just this past Thanksgiving, with my crazy Uncle Wally.
6.  See #5 
7. Uh, yeah, right. Anything's possible.
8.  I actually have said that before, and meant it.

Peace,
Melissa


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## TigerWoman (Dec 7, 2004)

8. You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?" 

Actually this can be very true...personal life can affect professional life.  Integrity is integrity.

I was liked American President, but teary????  Nobody was sick or died.

TW


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## Zepp (Dec 8, 2004)

:lol: Nice Tgace.  Not as funny as Steve's post, but not bad.


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