# Overcoming the Odds: A Martial Artist's experience.



## Sanchin-J (Feb 20, 2008)

This story is true based upon my own life experiences and is a testimony about overcoming the odds through my experiences in the martial arts.

In 1977 at the age of 4, I tried to take my own life using a boot knife my mother kept hidden in one of her dresser drawers in her bedroom. Why? Well it took me almost half my life to figure that out. My life was complicated from the very start, we were living a very poor life, hardly ever any food in the house, I was lucky to have clothes and a few comic books which I had to use to make "makeshift" toys to play with. My mother was a struggling college student with a drug problem and profoundly bad judgement in who she chose for friends.  

At 4 years old, I had been told that I was a mistake, I wasn't wanted, I had ruined her life, I was her biggest failure,  and all kinds of other related things, and I was treated as such. Most of her better friends used to say that she treated me like an object not a person. It so happened that on that day, I was particularly sensitive and she had carried me up to my bedroom and shut me in because she wanted to shoot up with her friends. In my mindset, I was mad, hurt and at that point wanted nothing more than to be paid attention to.  I remember it clear as day, I walked into her bedroom, pulled out her boot knife from a drawer, went into my bedroom, propped the boot knife under my mattress point up, and jumped on it belly first.  I can remember thinking, "I don't want it to go right through me, so the mattress should stop it from doing that."  Sure enough it worked, when I stood up I felt this terrible ache in my stomach and looked down to see that something was trying to come out, so I pressed my hands over it, and stumbled down the stairs. 

By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, my mom was already yelling at me to go back up stairs and I was teetering on the edge of blacking out. I remember her standing up and screaming as I pulled my hand away from my stomach, hearing frantic voices, I remember waking up a few times in a van with newspapers being compressed down on my stomach by someone, and then random glimpses of doctors and nurses in the hospital until finally waking up a day later and several stitches later. 

Mom lied about what really happened which was no surprise, but I think what happened really opened her eyes up, things began changing over the next few years, her friends were changing, she was getting her life in order, the abusive words had become something reserved for when I really screwed up, and she was really trying hard to be a mother. Unfortunately it didn't last, 2 days after my 7th birthday, while she was high and nearly completely out of her mind, when one of her friends attacked me and nearly killed me over turning to another radio station on his radio while he was gone. I can still hear her egging him on and laughing about it. The next day in school, I didn't even make it through the front doors of the school from the bus before protective services caught me and took me into custody. 

Foster care was rough at first, finding a family that can cater to the needs of a foster child is hard because the circumstances can be so radical at times. While awaiting placement, I ended living with the police officer that was there when I was taken from school, and after a few weeks I was introduced to my first foster home. The first home was great but within 5 months time, a domestic dispute erupted between the husband and wife and myself and 2 other foster children were taken and placed into new homes. The second home really sucked for me, it was a lifestyle I wasn't fond of or used to, and I just didn't fit in. The third was a charm however, the family had a daughter and son, they were happy and encouraging and I felt welcome.

While I lived with my foster family, the younger boy had started into the martial arts, studying at a dojo local to us, and before long I myself became involved. My whole life up until that point I had come to accept that I was a failure, unwanted, and unfit to be around people. My mentality however would soon be changed as I began to study and began to experience what a "good" family life could be like. Within a year, my self esteem was practically rebuilt, my grades were vastly improved, I had friends, and I felt like I'd finally found 'home.' 

Through the years, I continued to study, ultimately switching to another art by highschool, but one thing remains constant in the martial arts world, and that's the reinforced principles of developing confidence, self esteem, and discipline. My whole life I was told I would fail, I would never find success, graduate from school, get into college, or hold down a job. Through my ties to the martial arts, through encouragement from a strong and good family, and by never giving up, I proved them all wrong. Over 30 years later I stand before you, my brothers and sisters of the arts, and I encourage each and every one of you to NEVER give up, you can beat the odds, you can succeed, I did it and I know you can to. Martial arts changed my life, it helped shaped the loving husband, father of two beautiful kids, and martial artist you see before you today.


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## Kacey (Feb 20, 2008)

Thank you for sharing your story.  :asian:  I hope others learn the same lessons without the need to undergo quite so much hardship as you did.


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## terryl965 (Feb 20, 2008)

I am so glad that you was able to over come life obsticles at such a young age. Your story should be told to other that are in the same stituation.


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## MA-Caver (Feb 20, 2008)

:asian: To you sir.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Feb 20, 2008)

:asian:!


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## Andy Moynihan (Feb 20, 2008)

:asian:


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## Fiendlover (Feb 20, 2008)

wow that's deep.  u should really be proud of yourself for overcoming the odds or the stress and pain you've bee through and also be proud about how many people are reading this and our now taking comfort in the fact that they too can beat their underconfindence and low selfesteem.  :asian:


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## ktaylor75 (Feb 20, 2008)

You have brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you for sharing your story with us. It touched me in more ways than you could know.  You have sure come a long way and you should keep telling your story.  I am a foster parent myself, and I know many kids that could benefit from hearing about your life...just a thought.


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## Sanchin-J (Feb 20, 2008)

Thank you all for your kind words, I've been tempted to actually speak to foster kids and to share my story with them in the past, I might actually look into it more seriously. I'm thankful for so many things in my life and to have had a second chance at life with the foster system. I still keep in touch with my foster family and will always look upon them as my natural parents. 

I just hope my message does reach those who it can benefit, I had a hard life, but there are others out there who have or had it worse, we need to stick together and to help them to rise above the abuse and pain, and show them what life can be like with the right set of circumstances. I did actually befriend my natural mother once I was out of the foster system and I do keep in touch with her, we may have had our problems and she may have never been a "mother" to me in the past, but I felt it was only right to acknowledge her as the person who gave birth to me and to at least attempt to keep some sort of relationship with her.


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## shudokan-RN (Feb 20, 2008)

Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life

I will now go Kiss my child and thank God for such a wonderful childhood

marci


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## Jade Tigress (Feb 21, 2008)

What a wonderful story and testament to martial arts training. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. 

I think sharing your story with other foster children, as well as martial arts students, is a great idea. What an encouragement to those struggling with self-esteem and overcoming the odds. 

Kudos to you. :asian:


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## still learning (Feb 21, 2008)

Hello,  You became a winning person...changing your life to a very positive one too!

Life is never easy...many of us had or is haveing hard times....martial arts has a place to build ourselves and self-esteem.

As you read about more life stories....you will find you are in many company of others who struggle thru life.

I just gonna say, My  Mom was divorce with four young boys, remarried and adopted by our Step-Dad...who had alots of patiences.....

Learning martials, Jaycees, and other role models and groups...have change my life for sure.....Aloha

PS: When ONE stops thinking of one self(self pity) ..and learn to think and care for others...by learning to be an excellant role model? ....your life can change for the better..


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## Nomad (Feb 21, 2008)

Thank you.


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## Sukerkin (Feb 21, 2008)

Okay, I'm not too stiff-upper-lip English to deny it ... that's one of the few post's I've read here that has made me shed literal tears.  My god, *Sanchin*!  

I know that the eventual outcome has been positive and that is to be celebrated but I shall never dare feel sorrowful about my own life ever again without having that to compare to :rei:.


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## Darth F.Takeda (Feb 24, 2008)

Sanchin,

 God bless you man. I am so glad you were able to pick yourself up and grow into a good person with all that has happend to you.

Some of us who come from broken (or multiple) broken homes fight even harder to make sure that nothing bad befalls their kids.
We know the pain and the problems they could face, we;ve been there and dont ever want to see it happen to them.
God bless you and keep up the good attitude.


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## Darth F.Takeda (Feb 24, 2008)

Even with combative proficientcy being #1 for me as a Martial artist, the positives the arts have had in my life are many.

 When I first moved to SoFla. at 13, after my Mo's 2nd divorce, the group of kids (and sadly young adults) I fell in with was a fairly rough crowd, but still they wer decent enough people.
 Then I found a TKD school nearby and became obsessive, training their 6 days a week. I came home from school, then strait to the Dojang, not coming home till 9-10 at night.
This kept me from hanging out with the aforementioned group much and with good results for me.
Everyone of those kids was on crack with in a year of my starting at the Dojang. TKD saved my life as a few of those people are now dead, 1 is in prison for murder and a few I have no idea about.

In my mid 20s I found the Jujutsu school I am in at a time when I started doing stupid things, the disciplin and the people at the Dojo have influend me a great deal to be a better person.
 When I was going thorugh some big problems involving my 1st Son and his mother, my Sempai was a voice of reason and prevented me from doing something very stupid.
Combat effectivness is #1 at our Dojo, but you still cant help to become a better person from the training and the company you keep.

Shugyo!


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