# What is Bullying?



## Hawke (Sep 22, 2010)

Source:
http://www.stopbullyingproject.com/profiles/blogs/what-is-bullying-olweus

I got this from Diane Lee Inosanto.



> This site was built for one reason. To become a place for children,  parents, teachers, and any community members interested in stopping  bullying in our schools. - Gary Engles


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## Blade96 (Sep 22, 2010)

olweus = pwn.


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## Steve (Sep 23, 2010)

I still believe very strongly that the students who bully and the students who are bullied are two sides of the same coin, and I think that if we were really serious about helping kids, we'd apply resources to helping kids who are bullied AND the kids who bully others.  

While I'm not naive enough to think that every kid can be helped (on either side of that coin), we do a great disservice to the kids when we effectively give up on the children who bully others.  We tend to presume that they're just... like that.  Just bullies, instead of dealing with the underlying reasons, usually very much the same reasons that some kids get picked on: trouble at home, health issues, depression, or low self esteem.


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## Blade96 (Sep 23, 2010)

stevebjj said:


> I still believe very strongly that the students who bully and the students who are bullied are two sides of the same coin, and I think that if we were really serious about helping kids, we'd apply resources to helping kids who are bullied AND the kids who bully others.
> 
> While I'm not naive enough to think that every kid can be helped (on either side of that coin), we do a great disservice to the kids when we effectively give up on the children who bully others.  We tend to presume that they're just... like that.  Just bullies, instead of dealing with the underlying reasons, usually very much the same reasons that some kids get picked on: trouble at home, health issues, depression, or low self esteem.



Nice post. Bullies need help too.


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## Steve (Sep 23, 2010)

Blade96 said:


> Nice post. Bullies need help too.


Sounds funny when you put it like that, but essentially yes... unless we have just accepted that once a bully, always a bully.

I know that here in America, we've spent a lot of money, time and energy in trying to figure out ways that kids who are bullied can break the cycle of behavior.  I'd be very interested in spending some time, money and energy in doing the same for bullies, and think that it would be far more effective for everyone.  I would bet that the average kid who is a "bully" doesn't even know it.  Some, sure.  But I've personally seen many kids who are bullies who, when asked, believe that they themselves are the victims of bullying.  Not the other way around.


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## Touch Of Death (Sep 23, 2010)

My teacher told me that bullies are just people that don't know how to make friends. From what I have witnessed personaly a lot of bullying behavior is meant as a show for the other friends to witness, and from that the bully recieves approval; so, mostly, bullying is an addictive cycle.
sean


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## sgtmac_46 (Sep 24, 2010)

Bullying often times results from adults not being a proper guide in a young boys life. Men need to be men. It's almost a tribal thing. Men establish the parameters for how boys behave. A strong male role model for a young boy who enforces the moral and ethical view that manhood is NOT victimizing those smaller and weaker than ourselves, but instead, is protecting the weak and helpless, is key.

Martial arts, especially ones like boxing and BJJ, are extremely effective for both the bullied and the bullier. It gives the bullied confidence and the ability to defend themselves, and the bullier a positive outlet for the anger that often drives bullies, along with strong male role models that DEMAND a certain standard of behavior.

Often times just being in the company of stronger older males who uphold a certain standard of behavior can turn around poor behavior in a young man's life.



As for the kind of social bullying girls do to each other.........that's an ENTIRELY different social dynamic that has little to do with the physical bullying of males.


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## Hawke (Sep 28, 2010)

Diane Lee Inosanto working on this project.

The Bully Project
http://www.indiegogo.com/The-Bully-Project?i=fcbk


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## Mark Jordan (Sep 28, 2010)

I agree Stevebjj.

Bullies also need help. They are often not confident people themselves, which is why they pick on others and usually they feel better about themselves if they can make others feel worse.

Bullies need to get help so they'll learn how to manage their feelings in ways that don't hurt other people.


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## shesulsa (Nov 3, 2010)

What we commonly call "bullying" includes many facets that vary from snide sideways comments to out-and-out sociopathy.  The bottom line is that unacceptable behavior includes anything that includes an attempt to harrass, intimidate, harm, defame, slander or in some way overpower another person.  

While the term is mainly used to describe youthful behaviors, I believe we do a disservice in using this term without qualification.

There is a certain amount of social pecking in developmental circles so I don't believe we will be able to completely stamp out what we too easily label as bullying.  

Harmful behaviors need to be addressed in a progressive manner. Unfortunately, zero tolerance policies negate the opportunity to investigate youth relationships as is necessary to form a judgement that makes sense.


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## Balrog (Nov 4, 2010)

Mark Jordan said:


> I agree Stevebjj.
> 
> Bullies also need help. They are often not confident people themselves, which is why they pick on others and usually they feel better about themselves if they can make others feel worse.


Not so much.  From the Olweus Foundation research:



> Children who bully usually do not lack friends. In fact, some research finds that they have larger friendship networks than other children.
> Importantly, they usually have at least a small group of friends who support and encourage their bullying behavior. Bullies also generally have more leadership skills than victims of bullying or children not involved in bullying.



This is one of the myths of bullying.  Bullies usually do not lack in self-confidence.  They bully because they like the power trip and they get away with it.  And if they are not stopped, they will go on to engage in other antisocial, violent, or troubling behaviors and will wind up much more likely to commit crimes and wind up in prison.

Bullying is serious as hell.  It damages the victim and the aggressor both.


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