# Attitude



## Lisa (Nov 2, 2006)

I started another thread about what one carries in their personal arsenal.  The replies ranged from some packing various weapons to having only their body parts and an ATTITUDE as part of their arsenal. 

  It reminded me of an incident a friend went through when she worked at a hospital here in my city.  She would park her car at her Grandmothers house about 4 blocks from the hospital and walk to work.  One day she was walking by a group of young women when one of them turned and said something along the lines of she is an easy target.  My girlfriend quickly turned to them (there were three) and basically got in their faces and threw attitude their way.  They backed off and she continued to work.  She was lucky that she faced them with the right attitude.  She did not show them she was scared, even though she admitted to us that she was shaking inside.

  It had me wondering, has anyone else been in such a situation where your ATTITUDE has saved you from what you believe would have been a bad situation?  How important do you think attitude is when it comes to avoiding self defence situations?


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## terryl965 (Nov 2, 2006)

A couple of times in my early days, acting like a mad man proved to be an assist.

In high school this kids well 12 grader wanted to kick my butt, I was in 10 grade, back then I had to be mad to fight and he wanted to beat the crap out of me well to get to the point of being mad I banged the locker door on my head until it started to bleed and then turned and said lets go and he walk away saying I was crazy and stuff, needless to say people let me alone for the year. reputation can hurt or help given the right stituation


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## bushidomartialarts (Nov 2, 2006)

at a level with slightly less testosterone, attitude is a major factor in staying safe.

simply being able to walk with confidence means that predators will choose a different target.


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## shesulsa (Nov 2, 2006)

I have absolutely no doubt my attitude has prevented some approaches.

When I lived in West Treces territory in So. Cal., I was walking to the store just a little ways down the street and two members were cat-calling after me.  I still remembered enough Spanish to know they were talking about coming after me.  I gotta tell ya, I had _nothing_.  No martial knowledge, no fighting experience, no weapon ... nothing.  I don't know why I did it, but I stopped, turned around and gave them a gesture like, "well?" and then stood there with my hands on my hips, looking at them.  I dunno what the heck I was thinking, really ... but they walked away.  They probably had no intent of doing much of anything, but they still walked away.

Attitude has done a lot for me on other fronts, too, but I think the key is really to have a confident air about yourself such that you don't appear to be an easy target.


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## bydand (Nov 2, 2006)

One time in Lansing, MI I had a friend who lived in a slightly (read: really, really) bad neighborhood.  I went down to visit and couldn't find his street, so I stopped by a bar to get directions and a drink, after all it was a hot sunny day, I had one coming I thought.  About halfway between the door and the bar, I realized the place was packed and that every eye was rivited on me.  It was something right out of an old western movie, with me being the "dude" who was about to take the *** whipping.  Somehow I thought that if I was going to get creamed, I might as well get the drink first, so without even breaking stride I continued to the bar and ordered.  The bartender turned to this GIANT guy sitting there and he nodded his head and then looked at me and in no uncertain way said I was going to have *1* drink and get out.  I agreed and tackled my drink wondering how fast I could get it down without looking like I was about to wet myself when this giant guy asked why I had come in.  I told him what street I was looking for and he told me where to find it and said that if I had stopped or turned around, I wouldn't have made it back to the door.  So, I don't know if it was attitude or stupidity that saved my skinny butt that day or not.


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## morph4me (Nov 2, 2006)

When I was much younger I used to get into fights on a regular basis, as I got older the fights became less frequent.

One of the reasons, and I don't know if it was attitude, body language or something else, is that as soon as I made the decision that I was going to have to do some damage, the guy would start woofing and back away.


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 2, 2006)

Lisa said:


> I started another thread about what one carries in their personal arsenal. The replies ranged from some packing various weapons to having only their body parts and an ATTITUDE as part of their arsenal.
> 
> It reminded me of an incident a friend went through when she worked at a hospital here in my city. She would park her car at her Grandmothers house about 4 blocks from the hospital and walk to work. One day she was walking by a group of young women when one of them turned and said something along the lines of she is an easy target. My girlfriend quickly turned to them (there were three) and basically got in their faces and threw attitude their way. They backed off and she continued to work. She was lucky that she faced them with the right attitude. She did not show them she was scared, even though she admitted to us that she was shaking inside.
> 
> It had me wondering, has anyone else been in such a situation where your ATTITUDE has saved you from what you believe would have been a bad situation? How important do you think attitude is when it comes to avoiding self defence situations?



Yes MY attitdue has helped me in numerous locations and different times. 

I think Attitude is also very important in avoiding self defence situations. If one is aware and paying attention, then the predators will recognize that and not attack, for they are looking for easy prey. It also will help one recognize situations and stay calm and aware and be able to walk out.


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## Bigshadow (Nov 2, 2006)

To me "attitude" has such a shallow feeling to me.  I prefer to look at things such as this as spirit.  There is a certain spirit about people you can feel.  Sometimes this can be used as a weapon or shield.  It is hard to define it, but I think you all know what I am talking about.  

When I hear "attitude" I think of someone acting one way but feeling differently where the two are not associated or disconnected.    

It is when the outward actions match the feeling one gets, is when one knows it is "for real", connected.

Just my thoughts...


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## KenpoTex (Nov 2, 2006)

I feel that your attitude/mindset is the most important factor in self-defense.  All the training in the world is worthless if you're not _willing_ to use it as soon as it's necessary.

There have been several times when I believe that my mindset helped me avoid a violent encounter.  In a few cases, I've been to the point where I had already decided to attack if the guy took one more step, or made one more move, etc.  I guess a little of this showed through in my body language causing them to back down.

The importance of the willingness to do whatever is necessary, and *to escalate faster* than your attacker cannot be understated.


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## Kacey (Nov 2, 2006)

There's a fair amount of truth in "never let them see you sweat" and "never show fear" - people who are confident in themselves, and let that confidence show, are much less likely to be targeted in the first place than people who appear afraid, unaware, or otherwise look like victims.  You don't need to display major attitude to get this effect - and, in fact, an obvious attitude may cause people to target you to see if you are as tough as your attitude is proclaiming.


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## tshadowchaser (Nov 2, 2006)

Back in the days when I walked the streets in Anaheim, I had to go through the boundary of a few rival gangs ( read as shoot each other on site)to get of work. I found that on more than one occasion that my attitude when I walked  ( be it passive, aggressive, friendly, or RESPECTFUL)
keep me out of many situations that could have got ugly.
In fact my being respectful and courteous to some of these individuals transferred to them letting other members of their gangs know I was "ok" and many times we ended up talking or having a drink together, or just having on tell another that I was not trouble or to let me pass without confrontation
\
Atitude plays a lage part in how you are precieved and delt with


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## bushidomartialarts (Nov 2, 2006)

tshadowchaser said:


> In fact my being respectful and courteous to some of these individuals transferred to them letting other members of their gangs know I was "ok" and many times we ended up talking or having a drink together, or just having on tell another that I was not trouble or to let me pass without confrontation



right on. that's a really good point.

sometimes tricky be respectful and courteous in a way that some joiks don't take as weakness...


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## Adept (Nov 2, 2006)

Lisa said:


> It had me wondering, has anyone else been in such a situation where your ATTITUDE has saved you from what you believe would have been a bad situation?  How important do you think attitude is when it comes to avoiding self defence situations?



Working as a bouncer, being in control of my attitude is extremely important.  We are constantly telling people to do things they don't want to do, and being able to do it in a way that doesn't offend or upset them is critical to avoiding a physical confrontation. Added to that, you have to present a calm and assertive persona, no matter how anxious or angry you might be.


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## Phoenix44 (Nov 3, 2006)

I was once backing up for a parking space when a woman in a car in front of me thought she could back up faster and beat me to it.  (This kind of thing happens in New York).  Needless to say, she backed right into my front fender.  She came running at me out of her car like a bat out of hell.  I didn't say a word, but I stood my ground, thinking to myself, "Please, God, don't make me have to hurt anyone."  She stopped dead in her tracks.

I work in schools, and I go through metal detectors all the time. I can't afford to get caught with anything.  I love weapons training, but I rely on my empty hands.


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## still learning (Nov 4, 2006)

Hello, Having the right "Attidude" means also having the KILLER intincts.  Have you notice those with the killer intincts...have strong attidudes!

Many times you die for your belief's before giving up.....Attidude/killer intincts ....got some?    ........Aloha

PS: For more Attidude's on sale and low price..shop at Wal-mart.


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## Cirdan (Nov 4, 2006)

Attitude works on two levels. Appearing calm and confident will discourage most attackers. If you are attacked you need to send the message that they better back off or you will tear their ********** throat out with your teeth. It has alowed me to walk away and saved me the need to hit back more than once.


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## chris_&#3617;&#3623;&#3618;&#3652;&#3607;&#3618; (Nov 4, 2006)

Lisa said:


> I started another thread about what one carries in their personal arsenal. The replies ranged from some packing various weapons to having only their body parts and an ATTITUDE as part of their arsenal.
> 
> It reminded me of an incident a friend went through when she worked at a hospital here in my city. She would park her car at her Grandmothers house about 4 blocks from the hospital and walk to work. One day she was walking by a group of young women when one of them turned and said something along the lines of she is an easy target. My girlfriend quickly turned to them (there were three) and basically got in their faces and threw attitude their way. They backed off and she continued to work. She was lucky that she faced them with the right attitude. She did not show them she was scared, even though she admitted to us that she was shaking inside.
> 
> It had me wondering, has anyone else been in such a situation where your ATTITUDE has saved you from what you believe would have been a bad situation? How important do you think attitude is when it comes to avoiding self defence situations?


 
ive had a situation like that , it ended in a fight though , i had that "throw that grass in my face and i will knee the **** outa you" attitude , well it was more of a calm and not scarred atitude with those words added :uhyeah: but it was inevitible , this guy wasnt going to back down in front of his "freinds" (not that people like him can have proper freinds). he went to throw the grass at me so then came the knees     the whole thing happened because he was bullying this guy that has asburgess (sp?) syndrome , i really feel a great hate for bullies


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## The Lorax (Nov 4, 2006)

I keep the same attitude I always have when I'm confronted with trouble.  I've got a very grim sense of humor and a particularly vivid imagination, the two combine to be quite disquieting if you dont know me.  A calm suggestion of "That's not a good idea" usually works pretty well for me, and I can talk my way out of almost anything.  I usually appear bored and unconcerned, and I remain polite, but slightly irritated.  I've had an drunk guy over twice my size back me up against a wall one night and threatened to kill me over some imagined insult.  I just said that I'd appreciate it if he didnt, and oddly enough, he left me alone.


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## Shotgun Buddha (Nov 6, 2006)

When it comes to attitude, I tend to favour as non-descript a one as possible. Do as little that would attract attention as possible, stay calm, relaxed, civil when spoken too, and know where you're going.
While displaying a strong attitude will deter most street punks, if they in some way think they have an advantage(eg fire-arm, backup etc) that confidence can act as a trigger for them to attack or hassle you. 
Im referring to the little men here, not the professionals. A professional will avoid targets who appear like they could be trouble.
But a little man who thinks he's got an edge, will target people who give off that impression of being tough, will want to humble them now that he's finally got an advantage.
This is especially true in the case of rapists, who will see a display of confidence or strength from a woman as being a chalenge to them.

So instead, I prefer to sorta blend with the background. Always act like Im exactly where I should be or am heading there.
If stationary, move into a corner, and relax. More often than a not, people will not notice someone in the corner, especially if they aren't making any erratic movements like fidgeting or pacing.
When moving, always know where you're going. If you stop to wander around, or look like you don't know a route, you can become a target.
And always move WITH the geography. Follow any straight lines such as the path, and move alongside buldings. Human mind will register someone walking across a an empty car park as far more vulnerable than someone walking beside a building, has to do with the size of the object.


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