# I don't like your martial arts style...



## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).

So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style.  It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing.  I don't like it. 

Wing Chun?  I don't like your style.  Patty cake chi sao, cat fighting looking and too centerliney.  And that goes for Ving Tsun, Ving Chun, Wing Tsun, Wing Man and Tsun Set.  I don't care which lineage you come from or how you spell it.

Aikido?  I don't like your style.  It's not violent enough.  

Karate?  Regardless of which style, I don't like it and I'm not going to tell you why.  You'll have to guess.

Internal MA?  If I can't see it, I don't like it, and I can't see your chi.  I don't like your style.

Taijutsu?  I don't like your style.  When I watched that show in the 80s, The Master, it had a terrible script.  And ninjas are bad guys.  Why do you guys want to be assassins anyway?  I don't like your style.

And just to save a little time, everyone else?  I don't like your styles, either.  I may not really know much about them at all, but that doesn't make my opinion any less valid.  So suck it!   Hell, I don't even like MMA, but Vale Tudo is okay, I guess.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 9, 2009)

I don't like crab salad sandwiches


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 9, 2009)

Your right too many people are posting narrow-minded comments like that. Other martial arts are just as interesting to read about and watch. I would love to fight a Wing-Chun fighter one day when im more experienced.


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> I don't like crab salad sandwiches


I've heard that about you.  What style do you train in?  I'd like to know, so I can not like it.


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## Sigung86 (Sep 9, 2009)

I have difficulties with Brazilian MMA and too much Oban Scotch... they don't mix well.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 9, 2009)

Xuefu and macraméitsu-ryu quan do


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## Daniel Sullivan (Sep 9, 2009)

Well, I do not like your martial arts style...

...unless it is Kendo.

*BJJ, judo, jujutsu* has no weapons.
*TKD* has no weapons.
*Karate* has weapons, but they do not spar with them like we do in kendo.
Ditto for *iaido, kenjutsu, Haedong gumdo, shimgumdo*, etc.
*Kali/escrima* spars but their sticks are too short.
*Bojutsu* must be compensating for something because their sticks are too long (know bo staff, but because I am a kendoka, my manhood is beyond question. Ladies who do kendo are likewise secure in their feminine vitues).
*Najinata*; see bo staff.
*Aikido, Hapkido and taijutsu* have swords, but they do not spar with them, thus it sucks unless you take kendo too, in which case Aikido/Hapkido is the best unarmed art one could possibly learn. Plus Aikido gets to wear hakamas, so they get bonus points.
*Fencing* is on the right track, but they tremble in fear at the awe inspiring might of kendo!
*MMA* fears the shinai, otherwise, they would let Kendo be a core art!
*Capieora* has music, so it is cool in my book, but is still no match for the mighty kendo!! Perhaps as an opening act before a kendo tournament.
*Wing Chun* sucks; why else would Bruce Lee replace it with JKD?



Now *JKD* I like: it is like a that black suit that Spiderman had.  It is a symbiot that attaches itself to other MA's and makes them meaner, hehe.

Daniel


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Xuefu and macraméitsu-ryu quan do


Well, I definitely don't like Xuefu because I don't know anything about it!

Macrameitsu-ryu quan do... that one, I don't like because everything ends up looking like a potholder or an owl/plantholder! What's up with that???


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> Well, I definitely don't like Xuefu because I don't know anything about it!
> 
> Macrameitsu-ryu quan do... that one, I don't like because everything ends up looking like a potholder or an owl/plantholder! What's up with that???


 
But at least it is a pot holder in the shape of a fist.... actually we do oven mitts to


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## Brian R. VanCise (Sep 9, 2009)

What about if you like all the styles, systems, sciences?


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## Flying Crane (Sep 9, 2009)

Yeah, well, your mother dresses you funny.

The absolute truth is that the only style worth a plugged nickel is Berserker Viking Fighting Arts (well, other than Xue-fu, in which I am Number Two in the world and West Coast Headman).  Extreme violence and death by frozen carrot is the only worthwhile art out there.  Mug the mugger, rape the rapist, kidnap the kidnapper, terrorize the terrorist, skewer his nuts with a pencil.  Anything else and you are just wasting your time, ya bunch of losers.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 9, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Yeah, well, your mother dresses you funny.
> 
> The absolute truth is that the only style worth a plugged nickel is Berserker Viking Fighting Arts (well, other than Xue-fu, in which I am Number Two in the world and West Coast Headman). Extreme violence and death by frozen carrot is the only worthwhile art out there. Mug the mugger, rape the rapist, kidnap the kidnapper, terrorize the terrorist, skewer his nuts with a pencil. Anything else and you are just wasting your time, ya bunch of losers.


 
first Xuefu is "the ultimate advancement in the martial arts" :mst:

and now for the rest :lfao:


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> What about if you like all the styles, systems, sciences?


That makes you a hippy... and you know what we think of them!


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## Jenny_in_Chico (Sep 9, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Yeah, well, your mother dresses you funny.
> 
> The absolute truth is that the only style worth a plugged nickel is Berserker Viking Fighting Arts (well, other than Xue-fu, in which I am Number Two in the world and West Coast Headman). Extreme violence and death by frozen carrot is the only worthwhile art out there. Mug the mugger, rape the rapist, kidnap the kidnapper, terrorize the terrorist, skewer his nuts with a pencil. Anything else and you are just wasting your time, ya bunch of losers.


 
I like that carrot idea.


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## suicide (Sep 9, 2009)

yeah your style sucks its all about fencing :flame:


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## Xinglu (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> That makes you a hippy... and you know what we think of them!



You're just terrified of their hippimancy and hippyfu, probably because they didn't want to cuddle with you on the ground or otherwise destroyed your preconceived notions by using the dreaded Aquarius technique


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## suicide (Sep 9, 2009)

i hate hippy te - its all about lazer tag :uhyeah:


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## Xinglu (Sep 9, 2009)

Laser tag is weak it's like point sparring for sissies.


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## Ironcrane (Sep 9, 2009)

B-b-b-but, how can you not like our Martial Arts styles!? Unlike your silly BJJ, we can do things like shoot fire balls, and fight Dragons.


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## morph4me (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).
> 
> So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style. It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing. I don't like it.
> 
> ...


 

Well, I think it's very open minded of you not to like anything, I know some people are very narrow minded and only don't like 1 or 2 arts.


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## blindsage (Sep 9, 2009)

If you train in BJJ, I don't like your style.  Too much Portuguesey words (what's up with all the Gracies having R names but pronouncing them like H's?), and all that rolling around on the ground with other dudes upsets my homophobia (I mean it's call the 'mount' fuhtheluvagod!)


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 9, 2009)

morph4me said:


> Well, I think it's very open minded of you not to like anything, I know some people are very narrow minded and only don't like 1 or 2 arts.


 
Kind of like Dirty Harry.. .he wasnt prejudice because he hated everybody


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## kungfu penguin (Sep 9, 2009)

dont forget who-flung-dung  by master potty toss  an ultimate style used by the chimps at the zoo!


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).
> 
> So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style. It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing. I don't like it.
> 
> ...


 
*SNIFF*

My Feelings are hurt. 

SteveBJJ does not like what I train in. *SNIFF*

I guess I need to re-evaluate my life and training. 

I guess I will have to go back to no style I used before I began to train. 

*SNIFF*


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

morph4me said:


> Well, I think it's very open minded of you not to like anything, I know some people are very narrow minded and only don't like 1 or 2 arts.


  I'm nothing if not fair-minded and interested in equity.


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

Rich Parsons said:


> *SNIFF*
> 
> My Feelings are hurt.
> 
> ...


Oh, Rich.  I almost mentioned Arnis, but dislike it so much I couldn't bring myself to type the word.


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## Flying Crane (Sep 9, 2009)

morph4me said:


> Well, I think it's very open minded of you not to like anything, I know some people are very narrow minded and only don't like 1 or 2 arts.


 
He's an Equal Opportunity Hater.


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## crushing (Sep 9, 2009)

Well, now we know that the moderate position in MA is that BJJ = Good and Everything else = Not so good.


:angel:


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## Flying Crane (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.


 
well, except for all those lousy spin-of splinter groups like the Machados and their ilk.  They just split because they sucked and couldn't hack it.


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## ATC (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).
> 
> So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style. It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing. I don't like it.
> 
> ...


Ha ha ha....I don't like any of those styles either. Why? Because I am to old to be good at any of them so there.:rofl:


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## CoryKS (Sep 9, 2009)

I like your style just fine, I don't like your _opinion_.  

I mean, isn't that what this really is?  Dude started a thread to say that he didn't like MMA and gave the reasons why.  He didn't say MMA sucks, or that MMA practitioners suck.  He just expressed a preference for strictly stand-up fighting.  Now maybe he could have left it at that and not included the contrast with styles that include ground fighting, but what kind of thread would that be?

- Hi, I'm ____ and I like watching full-contact karate.

- Me too.

- Me too.  

- Yes, I very much like it when people stand up and kick each other in the head.

- Yup, that's great. 

- What about if he falls down?  

- Dude, that's MMA.  We're not talking about MMA in here.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.


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## Josh Oakley (Sep 9, 2009)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> What about if you like all the styles, systems, sciences?


 
But then you have to like REX KWAN DO.

I actually have met a kid with a year of overall training at 17 who claimed to be the grandmaster of the FOX style.

Must I like that too?


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

crushing said:


> Well, now we know that the moderate position in MA is that BJJ = Good and Everything else = Not so good.
> 
> 
> :angel:


I looked at both sides and made a decision. 

CoryKS, being serious for a second, I personally have no problem with anyone's style or opinion.  I'm just a little tired of the "I don't like [insert style]" threads, particularly where the opinions are clearly grounded in misconceptions.   As others have said, it's ground that has been covered to death.

And another thing, where you're concerned, I like neither your style nor your opinion, but I have to admit that your avatar is pretty cool.


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## Stac3y (Sep 9, 2009)

"Um...I heard jujitsu is good for your balance?"

"NO, jujitsu SUCKS."


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## Marginal (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> I looked at both sides and made a decision.
> 
> CoryKS, being serious for a second, I personally have no problem with anyone's style or opinion.  I'm just a little tired of the "I don't like [insert style]" threads, particularly where the opinions are clearly grounded in misconceptions.   As others have said, it's ground that has been covered to death.


B... but you're a ground fighter!


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## Steve (Sep 9, 2009)

Marginal said:


> B... but you're a ground fighter!


Yeah, but that's not grounds for any kind of complaint.


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## Carol (Sep 9, 2009)

I just eat pizza and talk on the internet.


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 9, 2009)

Infact although I respect all martial arts, Tai Chi sucks.


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## K831 (Sep 9, 2009)

Simple argument to end... I will fight anyone of this forum, to the death, to prove that Kenpo is the best style. Not only that, I will prove the my kenpo lineage is the best...


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## TigerCraneGuy (Sep 9, 2009)

Well it can't be the best because mine is...

Uh, what lineage are we talking about again?


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## Jenny_in_Chico (Sep 9, 2009)

K831 said:


> Simple argument to end... I will fight anyone of this forum, to the death, to prove that Kenpo is the best style. Not only that, I will prove the my kenpo lineage is the best...


 
LOL!! That made me wet my pants.


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## Clint Franklin (Sep 9, 2009)

We'll see how well your puny martial art stands up to my skills at Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots!


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## blindsage (Sep 9, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Infact although I respect all martial arts, Tai Chi sucks.


But not as bad as Muay Thai!


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## Flea (Sep 9, 2009)

kungfu penguin said:


> dont forget who-flung-dung  by master potty toss  an ultimate style used by the chimps at the zoo!



Worthless!

I'm currently developing the superior art of Dog Poo Do, self-defense for the masses.  All you need is Rover and a series of plastic baggies.  Of course, this is such a closely guarded secret that I will now have to kill everyone reading this thread.  Sorry.  I'm sure some of you will return as pampered bichon frises to avenge your masters.

:samurai:


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## Ken Morgan (Sep 9, 2009)

Flea said:


> Worthless!
> 
> I'm currently developing the superior art of Dog Poo Do, self-defense for the masses. All you need is Rover and a series of plastic baggies. Of course, this is such a closely guarded secret that I will now have to kill everyone reading this thread. Sorry. I'm sure some of you will return as pampered bichon frises to avenge your masters.
> 
> :samurai:


 
Plastic baggies?? Very unenviromental of you flea. If you use paper, you can always light them on fire and toss em at the bad guys.


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## suicide (Sep 9, 2009)

Xinglu said:


> Laser tag is weak it's like point sparring for sissies.


 

my bad : didnt see the paintball bruise dead center on your forehead :shock:


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## MJS (Sep 9, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).
> 
> So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style. It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing. I don't like it.
> 
> ...


 
But you forgot to mention how many of these styles are really LARPers in training.  Everyone running around, talking about "Th3 D3adl3Y" strikes that they can do, practicing such outdated material.  Everyone talking about "Th3 Str33tzzzz".

So lets see....

TKD guys hop around with their hands down, throwing useless high kicks.
X-Kan guys are a bunch of LARPers running around in black pajamas.
Kenpo guys slap themselves.
MMA guys love to cuddle with each other on the ground.

Martial arts suck!  I quit!! 

*note* the above comments are strictly in jest.  Anyone thats been around here long enough and who is familiar with my posts, should know that I"m always saying that every style out there has something to offer.


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## Carol (Sep 9, 2009)

MJS said:


> TKD guys hop around with their hands down, throwing useless high kicks.
> X-Kan guys are a bunch of LARPers running around in black pajamas.
> Kenpo guys slap themselves.
> MMA guys love to cuddle with each other on the ground.



Cuz u know damn well t3h FMAs are teh pwnage!  

We can has teh sharpest blades :lfao:


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## suicide (Sep 10, 2009)

GYM KATA is in the house with a lil bit TAE BO on the side everything will be alrite.


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## K831 (Sep 10, 2009)

MJS said:


> Kenpo guys slap themselves.


 
Pffftt people see me smack myself around and they think "dang, if that's what he does to himself, what the H*LL is he fix'n to do to me"


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

blindsage said:


> But not as bad as Muay Thai!


 Okay whatever you say, Tai Chi's about as useful as a car with no wheels. Prove me wrong.


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## Flea (Sep 10, 2009)

Ken Morgan said:


> Plastic baggies?? Very unenviromental of you flea. If you use paper, you can always light them on fire and toss em at the bad guys.



Young Padawan, you shall be my first apprentice.  You can start by practicing this new technique that I just came up with.


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## JadecloudAlchemist (Sep 10, 2009)

All styles do suck which is why I propose a unity style martial art. 

 Kinda of like unity church without hippies. Everyone will be the same and I will be rich its a win win for everyone.


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## morph4me (Sep 10, 2009)

> Aikido? I don't like your style. It's not violent enough.


 
:tantrum: Not violent enough, huh? I'll show you just how violent it can be. Grab my wrist, c'mon grab it, I dare you.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

JadecloudAlchemist said:


> All styles do suck which is why I propose a unity style martial art.
> 
> Kinda of like unity church without hippies. Everyone will be the same and I will be rich its a win win for everyone.


 
But then that style will suck too because it is made of all other styles that suck... but at least it will have no hippies


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Okay whatever you say, Tai Chi's about as useful as a car with no wheels. Prove me wrong.


 

Actually I am very happy that you feel that way and have no desire to prove you wrong


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## Steve (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> But then that style will suck too because it is made of all other styles that suck... *but at least it wil lhave no hippies*


 Which, in the words of Matt Serra, "doesn't suck."


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## CoryKS (Sep 10, 2009)

JadecloudAlchemist said:


> All styles do suck which is why I propose a unity style martial art.
> 
> Kinda of like unity church without hippies. Everyone will be the same and I will be rich its a win win for everyone.


 
A unity church without hippies? Is this like one of those zen koan thingies?

"When you can picture a unity church without hippies you will have reached enlightenment, grasshopper."


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Actually I am very happy that you feel that way and have no desire to prove you wrong


 
But why would you want to prove me wrong? It wasn't aimed at you anyway. Someone said it wasn't as bad as Muay Thai so I said it to them


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> But why would you want to prove me wrong? It wasn't aimed at you anyway. Someone said it wasn't as bad as Muay Thai so I said it to them


 
I don't want to prove you wrong...and OF COURSE Muay Thai is awful...just like every other MA...doubly so if it has hippies


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> I don't want to prove you wrong...and OF COURSE Muay Thai is awful...just like every other MA...doubly so if it has hippies


 
Okay now you've lost me, did you just say every MA is awful?


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## suicide (Sep 10, 2009)

lets settle down kids :ultracool no more watching pucca & ben 10 for 2 weeks %-}


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## Brian R. VanCise (Sep 10, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> That makes you a hippy... and you know what we think of them!



But I always loved all the hippies!


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## blindsage (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Okay whatever you say, Tai Chi's about as useful as a car with no wheels. Prove me wrong.


Firstly, this is thread is for HUMOR, and somehow you missed that in your initial comment, so I gave you a little ribbing to try and get you on track with every single other commenter.

Secondly, Xue chimed in because he does Taiji.  He doesn't have any desire to prove you wrong because the longer you hold on to the uninformed belief that Taiji is completely useless, the longer he (and any other properly trained Taiji player) has that much more advantage if he ever has to use it against you.  Good luck with that....

....and back to the jokes!

If you do Muay Thai, I don't like your style.  You have to dance before you can fight.  If you have to learn from a crew to be good, how good can any one of them be?  You have a heavy emphasis on leg kicks, so your skills are useless agains a parapalegic attacker.  And who fights on their tip toes?


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## Omar B (Sep 10, 2009)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> But I always loved all the hippies!



Yeah, hippes are great.  Long hair, relaxed attitude, usually good weed, I'm all for it.

As for fighting styles, nothing beats my bringing a grenade to a fist fight.  Beat that.


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## suicide (Sep 10, 2009)

Omar B said:


> Yeah, hippes are great. Long hair, relaxed attitude, usually good weed, I'm all for it.
> 
> As for fighting styles, nothing beats my bringing a grenade to a fist fight. Beat that.


 
pass the dutchy to the left while doing a outward block KIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAA !!!!! :angel:


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Okay now you've lost me, did you just say every MA is awful?


 
Yes.... and listen to me closely...everything I tell you... is a lie ... and that's the truth... or not


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

blindsage said:


> Firstly, this is thread is for HUMOR, and somehow you missed that in your initial comment, so I gave you a little ribbing to try and get you on track with every single other commenter.
> 
> Secondly, Xue chimed in because he does Taiji. He doesn't have any desire to prove you wrong because the longer you hold on to the uninformed belief that Taiji is completely useless, the longer he (and any other properly trained Taiji player) has that much more advantage if he ever has to use it against you. Good luck with that....
> 
> ...


 
Hmmm I kinda get it now, sorry if I sounded offensive. And we fight on the balls of our feet not the tip toes 



Xue Sheng said:


> Yes.... and listen to me closely...everything I tell you... is a lie ... and that's the truth... or not


 
Thats what I mean by confusing lol


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## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

morph4me said:


> :tantrum: Not violent enough, huh? I'll show you just how violent it can be. Grab my wrist, c'mon grab it, I dare you.


 

no, the OTHER wrist.  no, MY OTHER wrist...


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## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Okay whatever you say, Tai Chi's about as useful as a car with no wheels. Prove me wrong.


 
If the car has no wheels, you might be able to salvage flatsprings for swordblades.  that might be pretty useful.  But only if done by a Viking Berserker.  Hell, he wouldn't even need the flatsprings.  He'd kill you with the gas cap, and you'd wish it was over even faster than it is.  

Sheesh.  I can't belive I've even HAVING this discussion with you bunch of pansies...


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## Xinglu (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Hmmm I kinda get it now, sorry if I sounded offensive. And we fight on the balls of our feet not the tip toes



I think you missed the humor there again. 

Back to the jokes!

I hate Xingyi because all it is is a bunch of old dudes grunting and stomping their feet claiming that makes them more powerful!  And Bagua?!  LOL!  Looks more like a Dosey Doe!  And round and round we go, switch partners now!


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

Xinglu said:


> I think you missed the humor there again.
> 
> Back to the jokes!
> 
> I hate Xingyi because all it is is a bunch of old dudes grunting and stomping their feet claiming that makes them more powerful! And Bagua?! LOL! Looks more like a Dosey Doe! And round and round we go, switch partners now!


 
Perhaps but whos to say I haven't been joking all along


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## Xinglu (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> If the car has no wheels, you might be able to salvage flatsprings for swordblades.  that might be pretty useful.  But only if done by a Viking Berserker.  Hell, he wouldn't even need the flatsprings.  He'd kill you with the gas cap, and you'd wish it was over even faster than it is.
> 
> Sheesh.  I can't belive I've even HAVING this discussion with you bunch of pansies...



Oh please, it was scientifically proven through time travel and then re-enacted that big stinky white dudes with matted beards can't even take on small asian dudes.  Viking = whimpy!


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## zepedawingchun (Sep 10, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...Wing Chun? I don't like your style. Patty cake chi sao, cat fighting looking and too centerliney. And that goes for Ving Tsun, Ving Chun, Wing Tsun, Wing Man and Tsun Set. I don't care which lineage you come from or how you spell it. . . . .


 
Rrraaaaahhhrrrr . . spit spit ! !  Lay off the insults, man. . . .   I think I'll go hide and sharpen my claws a little more to get ready for a live fight.  No cage exhibitions for me . . . . . . patty cake, patty cake, baker's man, bake me an MA cake as fast as you can . . . . .


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## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

zepedawingchun said:


> Rrraaaaahhhrrrr . . spit spit ! ! Lay off the insults, man. . . . I think I'll go hide and sharpen my claws a little more to get ready for a live fight. No cage exhibitions for me . . . . . . patty cake, patty cake, baker's man, bake me an MA cake as fast as you can . . . . .


 
At last I've been looking for a WC fighter to ask this. What is the WC stance used for, as when I did it briefly couples of years back I remember there was 2 stances. The WC stance and the fighting stance (obviously I know what that's for lol).


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## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> At last I've been looking for a WC fighter to ask this. What is the WC stance used for, as when I did it briefly couples of years back I remember there was 2 stances. The WC stance and the fighting stance (obviously I know what that's for lol).


 
The goat-clamping stance?  It's used for CLAMPING GOATS!  And for what happens next, just use your imagination.  That's why wing chung sucks so bad, and all wing chunners fall before the ultra violent onslaught of the Viking Berserkers.  Even typing the words "wing chun" makes me want to puke.


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## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Xinglu said:


> Oh please, it was scientifically proven through time travel and then re-enacted that big stinky white dudes with matted beards can't even take on small asian dudes. Viking = whimpy!


 

Hah!  The only reason Asians are still alive in Asia is because the Vikings didn't even BOTHER to go to Asia and kill them all.  It just wasnt' worth their time.  Stomping all over those pathetic turds is no way to win honor and glory.  Too much like kicking puppies and kittens.


----------



## zepedawingchun (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> At last I've been looking for a WC fighter to ask this. What is the WC stance used for, as when I did it briefly couples of years back I remember there was 2 stances. The WC stance and the fighting stance (obviously I know what that's for lol).


 
(Seriously) If you're talking about the yee jee (or chi) kim yeung ma or pidgeon toed stance, in our system, that stance is for training only. Used to strengthen the muscles, ligimints, and tendons in the legs. Also to learn to sink or root your structure to the earth. And it's only for training purposes, unless you're doing 3 Stooges Wing Chun, then it's for fighting. The other may be called jing ma or jong tao. It looks alot like JKD's lead hand forward stance, and as you stated, it's used for fighting.  Or getting ready to spit in an opponent's eyes.


----------



## zepedawingchun (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> The goat-clamping stance? It's used for CLAMPING GOATS! And for what happens next, just use your imagination. That's why wing chung sucks so bad, and all wing chunners fall before the ultra violent onslaught of the Viking Berserkers. Even typing the words "wing chun" makes me want to puke.


 
The reason you pidgeon your toes in the goat-clamping stance is to keep from falling down, silly goose.  It also stops the goat from moving out from under your ill-attempt to clamp them.  A Flying Crane should know that, like Duh?


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

zepedawingchun said:


> The reason you pidgeon your toes in the goat-clamping stance is to keep from falling down, silly goose. It also stops the goat from moving out from under your ill-attempt to clamp them. A Flying Crane should know that, like Duh?


 

Oh Yeah?  Why don't you go ahead and tell them the REAL secret of the stance.  Tell them what happens to the goat after you "clamp" on him.  Yeah, go on, fess up.  We all know it's the dirty little secret of wing chun *spit*.

Viking Berserkers wear Hazmat suits when stomping on wing chun *spit* people.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Hah! The only reason Asians are still alive in Asia is because the Vikings didn't even BOTHER to go to Asia and kill them all. It just wasnt' worth their time. Stomping all over those pathetic turds is no way to win honor and glory. Too much like kicking puppies and kittens.


 
The ONLY reason the Vikings didn't go to Asia was they were afraid of the Mongols....bunch-o-Viking sissies... they were afraid of Mongol Bökh (wrestling) and even Bökh sucks

Mongols would EAT a viking beserker for lunch.


----------



## zepedawingchun (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Oh Yeah? Why don't you go ahead and tell them the REAL secret of the stance. Tell them what happens to the goat after you "clamp" on him. Yeah, go on, fess up. We all know it's the dirty little secret of wing chun *spit*. . . .


 
Give them to Viking Berserkers to ride in their Goat Riding Rodeo!


----------



## TheWellWisher (Sep 10, 2009)

zepedawingchun said:


> (Seriously) If you're talking about the yee jee (or chi) kim yeung ma or pidgeon toed stance, in our system, that stance is for training only. Used to strengthen the muscles, ligimints, and tendons in the legs. Also to learn to sink or root your structure to the earth. And it's only for training purposes, unless you're doing 3 Stooges Wing Chun, then it's for fighting. The other may be called jing ma or jong tao. It looks alot like JKD's lead hand forward stance, and as you stated, it's used for fighting. Or getting ready to spit in an opponent's eyes.


 
Ah I see. Was thinking of doing WC again but I don't think it would be a good combination with my Muay Thai


----------



## blindsage (Sep 10, 2009)

zepedawingchun said:


> (Seriously) If you're talking about the yee jee (or chi) kim yeung ma or pidgeon toed stance, in our system, that stance is for training only. Used to strengthen the muscles, ligimints, and tendons in the legs. Also to learn to sink or root your structure to the earth. And it's only for training purposes, unless you're doing 3 Stooges Wing Chun, then it's for fighting. The other may be called jing ma or jong tao. It looks alot like JKD's lead hand forward stance, and as you stated, it's used for fighting. Or getting ready to spit in an opponent's eyes.


Oh please, you know it's cuz Yip Man, or Ip Man, or Kip Man, or whatever his name was, was pidgeon toed and had bad posture.  It was the best he could do.  Best fight system in the world! (for cripples)


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> The ONLY reason the Vikings didn't go to Asia was they were afraid of the Mongols....bunch-o-Viking sissies... they were afraid of Mongol Bökh (wrestling) and even Bökh sucks
> 
> Mongols would EAT a viking beserker for lunch.


 

A Viking Berserker would let the Mongol eat him for lunch, and then he'd cut his way out thru his stomach with a dull spoon.  You Mongols just fell for the Viking's version of the Trojan Horse, one of the oldest trick in the book!  That just proves how the Viking Berserkers reign supreme!  HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

And what the hell kind of stupid word is "Bokh"?  It just proves how inferior the Mongols really are.


----------



## blindsage (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Ah I see. Was thinking of doing WC again but I don't think it would be a good combination with my Muay Thai


It's _totally_ compatible, you should go for it, since the both suck equally, WC just sucks more a long the centerline.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

TheWellWisher said:


> Ah I see. Was thinking of doing WC again but I don't think it would be a good combination with my Muay Thai


 
That would be Wing Thai Muay Chun and it wouldn't matter anyway they are BOTH awful.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> That would be Wing Thai Muay Chun and it wouldn't matter anyway they are BOTH awful.


 

No matter how you spell it, s-*** still stinks.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> A Viking Berserker would let the Mongol eat him for lunch, and then he'd cut his way out thru his stomach with a dull spoon. You Mongols just fell for the Viking's version of the Trojan Horse, one of the oldest trick in the book! That just proves how the Viking Berserkers reign supreme! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
> 
> And what the hell kind of stupid word is "Bokh"? It just proves how inferior the Mongols really are.


 
Well its a given that Bokh is stupid and awful and ineffective like all martial arts (except Xuefu) but suggesting a Viking Berserkers could cut his way out thru his a Mongol stomach with a dull spoon is ridiculous since Mongol Abs were steel...not LIKE steel but actual steel. 

A Mongol would digest a berserker and leave whats left of him in the out house.... a day or so later.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Well its a given that Bokh is stupid and awful and ineffective like all martial arts (except Xuefu) but suggesting a Viking Berserkers could cut his way out thru his a Mongol stomach with a dull spoon is ridiculous since Mongol Abs were steel...not LIKE steel but actual steel.
> 
> A Mongol would digest a berserker and leave whats left of him in the out house.... a day or so later.


 

no, no, no.  You are misinformed my friend, and I am trying to set you straight, since I hate to see such a wide-eyed novice like yourself wander off into oncoming traffic, so to speak.  Granted, Xue-fu is the true supreme ultimate (not that taiji "supreme ultimate" nonsense).  But xuefu aside, you just don't understand your history lessons.  I'll suggest you go back and re-enroll in your local elementary school's third grade history class.  Just tell them that you need to audit for a year, and they should be OK with it. Then you will understand about Mongols and Viking Berserkers.

Get out of the way of the traffic, my son.  You are not old enough to drive...


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> no, no, no. You are misinformed my friend, and I am trying to set you straight, since I hate to see such a wide-eyed novice like yourself wander off into oncoming traffic, so to speak. Granted, Xue-fu is the true supreme ultimate (not that taiji "supreme ultimate" nonsense). But xuefu aside, you just don't understand your history lessons. I'll suggest you go back and re-enroll in your local elementary school's third grade history class. Just tell them that you need to audit for a year, and they should be OK with it. Then you will understand about Mongols and Viking Berserkers.
> 
> Get out of the way of the traffic, my son. You are not old enough to drive...


 
(of course all of the following is said in Chinese but English is coming out of my mouth )

So.... insult my education do you.... so&#8230; you say&#8230; I did not take 3rd grade history&#8230;. well all that may be true.... but Vikings were still sissies... as were the Mongols...just less sissy than Vikings&#8230; You have offended my education and you have offended the West Peabody Elementary school


----------



## zepedawingchun (Sep 10, 2009)

blindsage said:


> . . . . Best fight system in the world! (for cripples)


 
And blind men.


----------



## blindsage (Sep 10, 2009)

and cheese mold.


----------



## Omar B (Sep 10, 2009)

My grenade beats you all!  I escalate crap way too fast sometimes I think.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Omar B said:


> My grenade beats you all! I escalate crap way too fast sometimes I think.


 

you need a grenade?  you are a sissy.  Go back to grammar school and put on your shortpants and suspenders and eat your bonbons.  Stand aside while the adults talk here.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> So.... insult my education do you....


 
yes, and your sifu and your sifu's sifu and your sifu's sifu's sifu and the founder of EVERYTHING you do (except Xuefu), and your ancestors back for ten generations on both sides of your family, because they all gave you s*** for genetics.

I'm trying to do you a favor by showing you what a fool you are.  If you like, I'd be happy to go back over your entire life with you and point out every mistake and bad decision you've ever made, that turned you into the misguided loser you are today...


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> yes, and your sifu and your sifu's sifu and your sifu's sifu's sifu and the founder of EVERYTHING you do (except Xuefu), and your ancestors back for ten generations on both sides of your family, because they all gave you s*** for genetics.
> 
> I'm trying to do you a favor by showing you what a fool you are. If you like, I'd be happy to go back over your entire life with you and point out every mistake and bad decision you've ever made, that turned you into the misguided loser you are today...


 

HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

I laugh at you and your arrogance..... your kung fu is no good like all kung fu (Xuefu not included)..... Prepare to suffer my whirling eagle claw fists of fifty slightly drunken dragons...with a head cold 

HAHA HAHAHAHA


----------



## Rich Parsons (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> The ONLY reason the Vikings didn't go to Asia was they were afraid of the Mongols....bunch-o-Viking sissies... they were afraid of Mongol Bökh (wrestling) and even Bökh sucks
> 
> Mongols would EAT a viking beserker for lunch.


 
I thought they did not go to Asia as they were tired of their rowing. 

hmmm? I see to me learning something new.


PS: You do not post right, if you posted with the right "STYLE" I would know it.


----------



## Josh Oakley (Sep 10, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Hah! The only reason Asians are still alive in Asia is because the Vikings didn't even BOTHER to go to Asia and kill them all. It just wasnt' worth their time. Stomping all over those pathetic turds is no way to win honor and glory. Too much like kicking puppies and kittens.


 
When did kicking puppies and kittens become a bad thing?


----------



## Carol (Sep 10, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> You have offended my education and you have offended the West Peabody Elementary school



Ain't nobody gonna offend West Peabody when I'm around  Now it gets personal dammit!  :rock:


----------



## Aikicomp (Sep 11, 2009)

This thread is hilarious :rofl: 

I only study the three true martial arts to which all others have to bow and kow tow to.....







The deadly arts of......


















yoga, Jazzercise and cardio kickboxing


You will all shake in fear and awe of my salutation to the sun technique. 






Michael


----------



## Omar B (Sep 11, 2009)

Jazzercise!  I present the scariest man on the forum!


----------



## Hudson69 (Sep 11, 2009)

I dont like any system that doesn't have guns, lots and lots of guns because I have lots and lots of guns and they tell me they like me and I believe them......


----------



## Ken Morgan (Sep 11, 2009)

Jassercise? You mean like this? 



ahhhhhh, it burns, my eyes, ahhhhh I can't see!


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Rich Parsons said:


> I thought they did not go to Asia as they were tired of their rowing.
> 
> hmmm? I see to me learning something new.
> 
> ...


 

I don't post right AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I see you too wish to suffer my whirling eagle claw fists of fifty slightly drunken dragons...with a head cold attack 

And it wasn't so much the rowing as it was trying to row across the Gobi


----------



## Flea (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> But then that style will suck too because it is made of all other styles that suck... but at least it will have no hippies



Nah, all the hippies are in Toronto doing Systema.  Why so tense duuuuude?  Just relaaaaax!!


----------



## CoryKS (Sep 11, 2009)

Nuke-fu, beyotches.  Because anything worth doing is worth overdoing.


----------



## Stac3y (Sep 11, 2009)

Total Evil *****-do rules. Quiver in your tighty-whities, oh ye of the testicular variety!


----------



## CoryKS (Sep 11, 2009)

Stac3y said:


> Total Evil *****-do rules. Quiver in your tighty-whities, oh ye of the testicular variety!


 
Ew, nice visual.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flea said:


> Nah, all the hippies are in Toronto doing Systema. Why so tense duuuuude? Just relaaaaax!!


Which is why although all martial arts are no good Systema is worse.... to many hippies.... ok its not worse than Muay Thai and it doesn't have many hippies and it is most certainly not worse than Wing Chun or Xingyiquan and they have so few hippies you might as well say they have none... and taiji.... :tantrum: OOOOOO Don't get me started on the plethora of hippies there :angry:...

So basically to sum up Systema is just a bad as every other martial art just for different reasons..... or not.


----------



## Omar B (Sep 11, 2009)

System's just another way to get your butt kicked, just with a Russian accent and the smell of borsht on your breath when the cops scrape you up off the floor.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

CoryKS said:


> Nuke-fu, beyotches. Because anything worth doing is worth overdoing.


 

Once again showing what a fool you are and how useless your style is.  

Only a fool s-***s in his own bed.  Viking Berserkers only destroy their ENEMIES with Maximum Violence and Aggression.  Viking Berserkers do not destroy their own homes and Viking ships as well!!


----------



## Flea (Sep 11, 2009)

Omar B said:


> System's just another way to get your butt kicked, just with a Russian accent and the smell of borsht on your breath when the cops scrape you up off the floor.



Ah, but that's what you're missing.  It's part of our psychic work - the halitosis strike.  When applied with vodka, it's an open flame.  It how we keep warm in those hard Russian winters.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Flea said:


> Ah, but that's what you're missing. It's part of our psychic work - the halitosis strike. When applied with vodka, it's an open flame. It how we keep warm in those hard Russian winters.


 
I suppose you fools light your own farts too!  A Viking Berserker would throw grog on you and you would catch fire and burn up!  Systema trains to lose.  Just paint a bull's-eye on your chest, and we'll do the rest.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Once again showing what a fool you are and how useless your style is.
> 
> Only a fool s-***s in his own bed. Viking Berserkers only destroy their ENEMIES with Maximum Violence and Aggression. Viking Berserkers do not destroy their own homes and Viking ships as well!!


 
It is obvious now that you play to much World of Warcraft that is not reality where I watch to much Dragon Ball Z and I know that no inferior Viking Berserker could stand up to a kamehameha attack or Kai&#333;-ken


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> It is obvious now that you play to much World of Warcraft that is not reality where I watch to much Dragon Ball Z and I know that no inferior Viking Berserker could stand up to a kamehameha attack or Kai&#333;-ken


 

Oh, here comes the AMATEUR again!!


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Oh, here comes the AMATEUR again!!


 
Yes... a level you can only DREAM of obtaining 

And Viking Berserkers had long hair which is much the same as hippies... no more needs to be said..... peace love and tie dye


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Yes... a level you can only DREAM of obtaining
> 
> And Viking Berserkers had long hair which is much the same as hippies... no more needs to be said..... peace love and tie dye


 
It works well as an improvised weapon.  Viking Berserkers always keep our options open.  To quote Sven Svensson, Inheritor of the Horned Helmet and Grandmaster of Berserker Viking Arts and improvised weaponeer extrordinaire: _"If you only knew what I could do to you with a frozen carrot, you'd be very afraid right now!"_

And as long as we are quoting from the Masters, here are more words of wisdom from Grandmaster Sven regarding raiding tactics in the modern age: _"have you never wanted to bring your friends to beat someone up? Raiding tactics is all about beating people up together with your friends. Hmmm... Maybe that came out a little wrong. Hahaha... Well, you know what I mean!"_  Clearly he is a man of tremendous insight and wisdom!

His father, the late great Thor Svensson taught him _"Defense is what happens when you are about to die!"
_
Grandmaster Sven lives by the old Viking wisdom: _"it's better to stand and fight because if you run, you'll only die tired".  _That is the best model to build your life upon.  Any other philosophy will get you killed.

You would do well to take notes, yearling cub.  There will be a test, and it could mean the difference between life and death!


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> It works well as an improvised weapon. Viking Berserkers always keep our options open. To quote Sven Svensson, Inheritor of the Horned Helmet and Grandmaster of Berserker Viking Arts and improvised weaponeer extrordinaire: _"If you only knew what I could do to you with a frozen carrot, you'd be very afraid right now!"_
> 
> And as long as we are quoting from the Masters, here are more words of wisdom from Grandmaster Sven regarding raiding tactics in the modern age: _"have you never wanted to bring your friends to beat someone up? Raiding tactics is all about beating people up together with your friends. Hmmm... Maybe that came out a little wrong. Hahaha... Well, you know what I mean!"_ Clearly he is a man of tremendous insight and wisdom!
> 
> ...


 
Well I will grant you there is nothing wrong with a little group Pillaging from time to time but it is like I have always said Vikings were just a bunch of hippies in silly hats that really liked to row a boat&#8230;although this is the first time I have actually said it. 

But I must admit using a frozen carrot as a weapon is intriguing I am guessing he was actually talking about making bad Borscht which could be terrifying.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Well I will grant you there is nothing wrong with a little group Pillaging from time to time but it is like I have always said Vikings were just a bunch of hippies in silly hats that really liked to row a boatalthough this is the first time I have actually said it.
> 
> But I must admit using a frozen carrot as a weapon is intriguing I am guessing he was actually talking about making bad Borscht which could be terrifying.


 
Borscht doesn't frighten a Viking Berserker.

And yes, we do like to row.  It keeps us fit.  And yes again, we DID row across the Gobi!!


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Borscht doesn't frighten a Viking Berserker.


 
Well it should, particularly if it is bad



Flying Crane said:


> And yes again, we DID row across the Gobi!!


 
Silly Vikings


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Silly Vikings


 
It saves on mileage.  And it keeps the ships close at hand at hand for our lightning fast strikes on unsuspecting villages.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> It saves on mileage. And it keeps the ships close at hand at hand for our lightning fast strikes on unsuspecting villages.


 
I also imagine it give the bottom of the boat a nice smooth finish


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> I also imagine it give the bottom of the boat a nice smooth finish


 
Oh yeah!  and it clears away the barnacles!


----------



## Flea (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Silly Vikings



You men never _can_ ask for directions, can you?


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

Flea said:


> You men never _can_ ask for directions, can you?


 
Hey, if you don't care where you are, you aren't lost.  As long as there are villages to attack, it doesn't matter!


----------



## TheWellWisher (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> It is obvious now that you play to much World of Warcraft&#8230; that is not reality&#8230; where I watch to much Dragon Ball Z and I know that no inferior Viking Berserker could stand up to a kamehameha attack or Kai&#333;-ken


 
No kamehameha or Kai&#333;-ken could even attempt to stand up to a final flash


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flying Crane said:


> Hey, if you don't care where you are, you aren't lost. As long as there are villages to attack, it doesn't matter!


 
You know I have to agree on that one 



TheWellWisher said:


> No kamehameha or Kai&#333;-ken could even attempt to stand up to a final flash


 
Since I do not play World of Warcraft and my previous taunt was based on a wild uneducated guess I can only assume that I have no idea what you are talking about but still know I am not wrong and because I say I am not and that no berserker could stand up to kamehameha and the final flash is but a mere piffle and yet kamehameha is just plain wimpy too
 
And Muay Thai, Wing Chun, Aikido, Taiji, White Crane, Karate, Jujutsu, Eskrima, BJJ, MMA, and all other Martial Arts INCLUDING the dreaded Jazzercise still suck and if they have hippies doubly so


----------



## Flea (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> And Muay Thai, Wing Chun, Aikido, Taiji, White Crane, Karate, Jujutsu, Eskrima, BJJ, MMA, and all other Martial Arts INCLUDING the dreaded Jazzercise still suck and if they have hippies doubly so



Now by that logic, since suckage is so universal to all MAs, couldn't it be likened to qi?  A force that runs through all things.  So in essence, sucking would actually be a _good_ thing ... right?


----------



## TheWellWisher (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> You know I have to agree on that one
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Nah you probably don't


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Flea said:


> Now by that logic, since suckage is so universal to all MAs, couldn't it be likened to qi? A force that runs through all things. So in essence, sucking would actually be a _good_ thing ... right?


 
NOT if it had hippies and almost all things qi have hippies... besides not all things suck...ham sandwiches are ok.... but all MA styles are no goot and I don't like any of them either.


----------



## Stac3y (Sep 11, 2009)

Flea said:


> Now by that logic, since suckage is so universal to all MAs, couldn't it be likened to qi? A force that runs through all things. So in essence, sucking would actually be a _good_ thing ... right?


 
Are you SURE you're not a hippie?


----------



## JadecloudAlchemist (Sep 11, 2009)

Allow my inner nerd to explain Kamehameha and Kaio-ken.
Kamehameha is a Hawaiian king who also shoots Chi balls hence why in Dragon ball Z Goku says Kamehameha.

Kaio-ken is another Dragon ball Z strike. 

 Now that you know this useless fact your brain will forget how to balance a Check book.


Qi attracts Hippies like a bug zapper to flies.

 I heard that if a Hippy tries to fight he looses all his flower badges and love beads and can not participate in free love and must be the munchie getter.


----------



## Flying Crane (Sep 11, 2009)

JadecloudAlchemist said:


> Qi attracts Hippies like a bug zapper to flies.


 
I might make a concession for qi if it kills them like a bug zapper kills flies.

But of course I can do that with my warhammer any time I want.


----------



## Em MacIntosh (Sep 11, 2009)

You can kill flies with your warhammer???
Nice. How many can you kill in one swing?


----------



## Xue Sheng (Sep 11, 2009)

Stac3y said:


> Are you SURE you're not a hippie?


 
:hmm: That... is a...very good question. 


WELL Flea... ARE YOU :mst:



JadecloudAlchemist said:


> Allow my inner nerd to explain Kamehameha and Kaio-ken.
> Kamehameha is a Hawaiian king who also shoots Chi balls hence why in Dragon ball Z Goku says Kamehameha.
> 
> Kaio-ken is another Dragon ball Z strike.
> ...


 
Damn.... I've forgotten how to balance my check book



JadecloudAlchemist said:


> Qi attracts Hippies like a bug zapper to flies.
> 
> I heard that if a Hippy tries to fight he looses all his flower badges and love beads and can not participate in free love and must be the munchie getter.


 
This is of course all true.... or at least it is the rumor I am going to spread


----------



## Flea (Sep 11, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> :hmm: That... is a...very good question.
> 
> 
> WELL Flea... ARE YOU :mst:



You haven't been reading my posts very carefully, have you?  



> Damn.... I've forgotten how to balance my check book


Silly warmonger, hippies don't need checkbooks.  We _share!!_  Now come to a party this weekend at our commune.  Oh ... don't forget your wallet.


----------



## morph4me (Sep 12, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> And Muay Thai, Wing Chun, Aikido, Taiji, White Crane, Karate, Jujutsu, Eskrima, BJJ, MMA, and all other Martial Arts INCLUDING the dreaded Jazzercise still suck and if they have hippies doubly so


 
How many times does this have to be said, it isn't the art it's the practioner, and there are some practioners of all these arts that suck at very high levels.


----------



## WhiteLotus (Sep 12, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> ...unless it's Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  Recently, there has been a resurgence in threads like this, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase and just call everyone out and save myself some time (and maybe you all some time, too).
> 
> So, if you train in TKD, I don't like your style.  It's too Olympicky, with the jumping and the arms down thing.  I don't like it.
> 
> ...




Hey, you didn't mention more Kung Fu styles, they are great and very well developed and full of so many techniques.

And as far as  Wing Chun, I like it alot, here is a clip from a film, I know it is just a movie, but some real wing Chun moves are in this,






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lt34aHAFkV8&feature=related


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 12, 2009)

Flea said:


> You haven't been reading my posts very carefully, have you?


 
ahh so you too have offended my education and you have offended the West Peabody Elementary school

You do of course realize you may have just incurred the wrath of Carol



Flea said:


> Silly warmonger, hippies don't need checkbooks. We _share!!_ Now come to a party this weekend at our commune. Oh ... don't forget your wallet.


 
:erg: OH NO!!!
There is a hippie amongst us..... shreek shreek scream scream.... ah whatever....thats cool  But don't expect me to like Systema now 




morph4me said:


> How many times does this have to be said, it isn't the art it's the practioner, and there are some practioners of all these arts that suck at very high levels.


 
Yes true words of wisdom... they all have very high level of suckage


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## morph4me (Sep 12, 2009)

It actually makes me wonder if the level of suckage is somehow related to the popularity of the art. Is there a correlation between suckage and number of students? Like gravity, the more it sucks the more it attracts. Sorry, didn't mean to get all philosphical :uhyeah:


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## Steve (Sep 12, 2009)

morph4me said:


> It actually makes me wonder if the level of suckage is somehow related to the popularity of the art. Is there a correlation between suckage and number of students? Like gravity, the more it sucks the more it attracts. Sorry, didn't mean to get all philosphical :uhyeah:


Unpopular arts are crap because very few people like them.  I thought that went without saying.    Of course, the reverse isn't necessarily true, unless we're talking about BJJ. Hehe.


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## Flea (Sep 12, 2009)

Are you kidding?  Unpopular stuff is the coolest stuff of all!  Why?  Because only a tiny number of people like it - it makes them _elite_.  All the more so if only that tiny number have even heard of it.  That's why all y'alls can kiss Systema's ***.  :mst:  

The few, the proud, the obscure!!


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## morph4me (Sep 12, 2009)

I thought the few, the proud, the obscure were ninjas.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 12, 2009)

suck, don't suck? Popular, not popular? You are too concerned about what obscure and what is popular. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. And all of them suck


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## TigerCraneGuy (Sep 13, 2009)

morph4me said:


> How many times does this have to be said, it isn't the art it's the practioner, and there are some practioners of all these arts that suck at very high levels.


 
All martial arts suck... therefore ALL PRACTICTIONERS OF EVERYTHING SUCK!!

So what does it matter that some suck less bad than others? Or if they have hippies?:angel:


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## TigerCraneGuy (Sep 13, 2009)

Flea said:


> Are you kidding? Unpopular stuff is the coolest stuff of all! Why? Because only a tiny number of people like it - it makes them _elite_. All the more so if only that tiny number have even heard of it. That's why all y'alls can kiss Systema's ***. :mst:
> 
> The few, the proud, the obscure!!


 
Running-off-a-cliff Fu is unpopular...

Does that make lemmings elite?


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## Xinglu (Sep 13, 2009)

TigerCraneGuy said:


> Running-off-a-cliff Fu is unpopular...
> 
> Does that make lemmings elite?



The short answer is: YES!!! 

Xue hates hippies because he is jealous of the free love skill they have acquired, it is clear that he is green with envy at the site of their beads...  And threatened by their cosmic view of qi


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## morph4me (Sep 14, 2009)

I've never seen a hippie in a dojo, most dojo's don't allow you to tie dye your gi. I think you guys are thinking about yoga, not martial arts. Althoug we aikidoka have a very hippie friendly philosophy with the whole peace and love thing.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 14, 2009)

Xinglu said:


> The short answer is: YES!!!
> 
> Xue hates hippies because he is jealous of the free love skill they have acquired, it is clear that he is green with envy at the site of their beads... And threatened by their cosmic view of qi


 
Well no... and yes..... but mostly no...with a bit of yes...... and a touch of maybe....... but most certainly not at all.... but just a little of one or the other...... maybe....or maybe not...... 



morph4me said:


> I've never seen a hippie in a dojo, most dojo's don't allow you to tie dye your gi. I think you guys are thinking about yoga, not martial arts. Althoug we aikidoka have a very hippie friendly philosophy with the whole peace and love thing.


 
oh morph.....can't you see..... they have already brained washed you....... 

YOU SEE PEOPLE..... this is WHY hippies should not be allowed in MA.... they take the good ones like morph and convince them that hippies are not there.... and before you know it..... you're driving a VW van with a peace sign on the side wearing tie die to the dojo... AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT HAPPENED!!!


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## Flying Crane (Sep 14, 2009)

em macintosh said:


> you can kill flies with your warhammer???
> Nice. How many can you kill in one swing?


 
yes, by thor!!!


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## Josh Oakley (Sep 15, 2009)

As I told a couple of students of mine (true story): You will always suck, no matter how much you train. The goal is to suck _less_. 

One of them then told us that was the first time she had _ever_ heard a man say that to her, and she has no intention of following that goal.

I told her, "fine. Then in your case, I perscribe more *cowbell.*"



...She actually bought me a cow bell.


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## Xinglu (Sep 15, 2009)

Bells are for hippies.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 15, 2009)

:eye-popping: BELLS

 Oh no..... more hippies on MT :disgust:


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 15, 2009)

I have not bothered to read the last three pages, but I just wanted to stop by and tell you are all posting wrong and doing your martial arts wrong as well.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 15, 2009)

Rich Parsons said:


> I have not bothered to read the last three pages, but I just wanted to stop by and tell you are all posting wrong and doing your martial arts wrong as well.


 
And I think that is something that we as martial artists can all agree on.... since all the arts we do are pathetic


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## suicide (Sep 15, 2009)

in the words of the famous rodney king : cant we just all get along


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## Xinglu (Sep 15, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> :eye-popping: BELLS
> 
> Oh no..... more hippies on MT :disgust:



Yes, and they want to teach you about the cosmic qi, and how you must transcend the material (even your own martial arts) to become one with the universe....

Become one with the vibrations of the bells.... Resistance is futile 

And viking hammers? Please, hippimancers can turn such downer things into flowers.  Then we have a bearded smelly man prancing around with a flower.  That alone, on principle, makes him a hippy.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 16, 2009)

suicide said:


> in the words of the famous rodney king : cant we just all get along


 
oh no :disgust: .... they got suicide.....not you too..... oh man that is the most Hippie statement I have seen in a while..... first... PUT DOWN THE TOFU..... now I want you to stop and get a hold of yourself and look around.... be calm.... but are you driving an old VW Bus and wearing tie dye... if you find you are... don't panic...... just pull over to the curb and run as fast as you can to the nearest steak house and you might be ok if it is not to late 

Now a bit of a disclaimer... I eat tofu but I am NOT I repeat I am NOT a hippie... My wife is Chinese and her family eats tons of the stuff and let me make this perfectly clear...THERE ARE NO HIPPIES ALLOWED IN CHINA and TIE DYE IS RIGHT OUT!!!!! Although I may have seen a VW Van there BUT THERE WAS NO PEACE SIGN ON IT. 

But you know I have discovered I have trouble eating with anything other than chop sticks....hmmmm maybe I'm Chinese... albeit a rather Germanic looking Chinese person... but you never know 



Xinglu said:


> Yes, and they want to teach you about the cosmic qi, and how you must transcend the material (even your own martial arts) to become one with the universe....
> 
> Become one with the vibrations of the bells.... Resistance is futile
> 
> And viking hammers? Please, hippimancers can turn such downer things into flowers. Then we have a bearded smelly man prancing around with a flower. That alone, on principle, makes him a hippy.


 
 cosmic qi...nooooooooooooooooooo


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## morph4me (Sep 16, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> oh no :disgust: .... they got suicide.....not you too..... oh man that is the most Hippie statement I have seen in a while..... first... PUT DOWN THE TOFU..... now I want you to stop and get a hold of yourself and look around.... be calm.... but are you driving an old VW Bus and wearing tie dye... if you find you are... don't panic...... just pull over to the curb and run as fast as you can to the nearest steak house and you might be ok if it is not to late
> 
> Now a bit of a disclaimer... I eat tofu but I am NOT I repeat I am NOT a hippie... My wife is Chinese and her family eats tons of the stuff and let me make this perfectly clear...THERE ARE NO HIPPIES ALLOWED IN CHINA and TIE DYE IS RIGHT OUT!!!!! Although I may have seen a VW Van there BUT THERE WAS NO PEACE SIGN ON IT.
> 
> ...


 

Ya know, I'm just not feelin' the love, man, and it's really bringing me down. Put a little love in your heart, ya know, all you need is love, but whatever turns you on. It's your thing, do what ya gotta do, I can't tell you, who to sock it to.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 16, 2009)

morph4me said:


> Ya know, I'm just not feelin' the love, man, and it's really bringing me down. Put a little love in your heart, ya know, all you need is love, but whatever turns you on. It's your thing, do what ya gotta do, I can't tell you, who to sock it to.


 
Well what do you know... now THAT is the most most Hippie statement I have seen in a while 

Get out of the VW bus with the patch work paint job with the peace sign on the side..... put down the tofu..... stop wearing the tie dye to Aikido class..... MY GOD MAN.... get the to a steakhouse and a gun show NOW...SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!! 

You see people first they get morph then suicide and next....who knows. 

Its kind of like a ninja hippie or a stealth hippie thing....they sneak up on you and BANG before you know it your wearing a tie dye gi, listening to the Greatful Dead and going to a Beck concert and by the time you realize it is to late.... you're a card carrying, peace, love and tie dye hippie

But of course hippie or no hippie Aikido sucks like all other MA styles, it is just with hippies its worse


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## blindsage (Sep 16, 2009)

Man I love patchouli.


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## blindsage (Sep 16, 2009)

Rich Parsons said:


> I have not bothered to read the last three pages, but I just wanted to stop by and tell you are all posting wrong and doing your martial arts wrong as well.


Even if they were doing them right, they'd still suuuuuccckkkk.


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## Kajowaraku (Sep 16, 2009)

The problem with hippies is you can never have realistic training with them because they're not resisting. Darn pacifists will simply be compliant as you enthousiastically take them down. They breed like rabbits though (at least, so i've heard) so you'll have to wade through legions of compliant uke's before you finally succumb and start wearing a cowbell and grow a beard, at which point you will understand MA truelly sucks when dealing with hippies. The only thing that truelly repels a hippie infestation is pesticides. No flowers no hippies. my theory on agent orange? It wasn't invented to defoliate the jungle...

A shame, really. I think i'd look good with more facial hair


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 17, 2009)

blindsage said:


> Even if they were doing them right, they'd still suuuuuccckkkk.


 
Don't even get me started on that one. 

Oh and you didn't put enough u's in the word suck.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Sep 17, 2009)

*Peace, Love and Harmony* to all people of the IDLYMAS thread! :wavey:


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## TigerCraneGuy (Sep 17, 2009)

And therefore, since this thread has been set up by people who suck at posting right (except me of course!) to focus on martial arts and hippies and vikings and mongols, all of which suck, it can only mean that...

This thread sucks...

And since this thread sucks, General Martial Arts as a category must suck too, cause no category worth reading should ever contain a thread that sucks so badly.

And since General MAs sucks, then the whole... uh... maybe we shouldn't go there (sorry Bob )


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## Dave Leverich (Sep 18, 2009)

Steve, awesome thread and thanks!


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## morph4me (Sep 18, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Well what do you know... now THAT is the most most Hippie statement I have seen in a while
> 
> Get out of the VW bus with the patch work paint job with the peace sign on the side..... put down the tofu..... stop wearing the tie dye to Aikido class..... MY GOD MAN.... get the to a steakhouse and a gun show NOW...SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!!
> 
> ...


 
I took your advice and went to a gunshow, talk about your negative people. First the people at the gunshow got all bent out of shape when I started putting flowers in the baels of the guns,  it really brightened up the place and they fit so well, so I was escorted out. 

Then I went to a nearby steakhouse, and they wouldn't let me in, seem they took exception to my Meat is Murder T-shirt. They wouldn't even engage in a meaningful dialogue with me. 

Then I went to the dojo, centered myself, felt all the love and positive energy, and all was right with the world. You should come and join us, all the negative energy is affecting your perception of things, and our sensei has this really cool insense, it comes in little bags and is natural, I can even see some seeds in it, and it really mellows you out.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 18, 2009)

morph4me said:


> I took your advice and went to a gunshow, talk about your negative people. First the people at the gunshow got all bent out of shape when I started putting flowers in the baels of the guns, it really brightened up the place and they fit so well, so I was escorted out.
> 
> Then I went to a nearby steakhouse, and they wouldn't let me in, seem they took exception to my Meat is Murder T-shirt. They wouldn't even engage in a meaningful dialogue with me.
> 
> Then I went to the dojo, centered myself, felt all the love and positive energy, and all was right with the world. You should come and join us, all the negative energy is affecting your perception of things, and our sensei has this really cool insense, it comes in little bags and is natural, I can even see some seeds in it, and it really mellows you out.


 
Oh morph.... my friend... you are to far gone...they got you before I found out...I'm sorry.... I'm so very sorry..... I hope you can forgive me......you hippie :disgust:

Wait there may be one last chance..... ummmm hey dude I ummmmmm think its a ummmm aaaaa bummer that there is all this a violence on TV and it would be really cool if you would stage a sit-in protest in your living room with all the necessary hippie accoutrements...whatever those may be.... and protest Kung Fu theater movie violence and watch movie after movie..... aaaaa...protesting it...by a.... watching it.... for lets say 36 hours straight that would be aaaaa&#8230;..sockin it to the&#8230;ummmm&#8230;man... would that be cool&#8230;&#8230;. aaaaaa (what&#8217;s the word)..... (OH YEAH)....dude. 



Brian R. VanCise said:


> *Peace, Love and Harmony* to all people of the IDLYMAS thread! :wavey:


 

:erg: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

NOT BRIAN TOO!!!!!:eye-popping:

My world just doesn't make sense anymore!!!!


OK Brian..... before its to late...first sit down and watch 24 hours of Old Kung Fu theater and Godzilla movies....then jump on a plane and fly to the Philippines and train train and train some more and if you can't get yourself to stop talking peace and love well then I guess it is best to just talk to some of the FMA guys about it&#8230;. I am betting they will then FORCE you to train :EG:


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 19, 2009)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> *Peace, Love and Harmony* to all people of the IDLYMAS thread! :wavey:


 
Bah Hum Bug!


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 19, 2009)

TigerCraneGuy said:


> And therefore, since this thread has been set up by people who suck at posting right (except me of course!) to focus on martial arts and hippies and vikings and mongols, all of which suck, it can only mean that...
> 
> This thread sucks...
> 
> ...


 
First you are using Logic in an arguement. WRONG!

B - your arguement is circular. 
i.e. This sucks then that sucks which gets to the this site sucking which means all it members suck, but you state you do not suck. Wrong Premise. I guess you do suck. So there. 

and 3rd I really think you need to get over apologizing. WOW.


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## Xue Sheng (Sep 19, 2009)

Rich Parsons said:


> First you are using Logic in an arguement. WRONG!
> 
> B - your arguement is circular.
> i.e. This sucks then that sucks which gets to the this site sucking which means all it members suck, but you state you do not suck. Wrong Premise. I guess you do suck. So there.
> ...


 
Well that sucks


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## blindsage (Sep 21, 2009)

Suckers!!!!!


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## RTKDCMB (Mar 27, 2013)

Flea said:


> Worthless!
> 
> I'm currently developing the superior art of Dog Poo Do, self-defense for the masses.  All you need is Rover and a series of plastic baggies.  Of course, this is such a closely guarded secret that I will now have to kill everyone reading this thread.  Sorry.  I'm sure some of you will return as pampered bichon frises to avenge your masters.
> 
> :samurai:



Oh yeah My dog knows Jui Shitzu


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## Mauthos (Mar 27, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Oh yeah My dog knows Jui Shitzu



No idea why but I found that soooo funny!!  there is no helping me.

:lfao::lfao::lfao::lfao:


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## crushing (Mar 27, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Oh yeah My dog knows Jui Shitzu



That was perfect!   I would have taken it too far in claiming my dog, Imi, knows Jew Shitzu.


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