# The Death of Bullwinkle



## Balrog (Dec 4, 2013)

You may have heard that Bullwinkle the Moose was found dead. And a special prosecutor was appointed to investigate the mysterious circumstances of the moose's death.

Most people are aware of the fact that the moose was found crushed to death by a 16-ton anvil dropped from a great height. And of course, everybody was certain that the moose's live-in companion (and isn't that an interesting euphemism?) a certain hyperactive flying squirrel, was the most likely suspect.

But further investigation revealed a number of things. First, JPL did a computer simulation and determined that a flying squirrel could not achieve airspeed while carrying a 16-ton anvil, so that cleared Rocket J. Squirrel.

But the coroner reported that the _expression on the moose's face showed absolutely no fear, so obviously the anvil hit him unexpectedly, or he was completely trusting of the circumstances -- which could implicate Rocky after all. The _expression on the moose's face was the biggest smile ever seen on a Toon.

Clutched in the moose's baseball mitt -- which he always wore when he caught Rocky -- was a tiny statue of Krishna. The religious significance of this is not immediately clear; neither is the eyewitness report of a rabbi on a pogo stick rapidly leaving the scene.

So...if we summarize the clues in Bullwinkle's death, what we have is: wee Vishnu, a merry crushed moose, and a hoppy Jew near.


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## Touch Of Death (Dec 5, 2013)

How dare you make me read this. I want that time back. >_<


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## skribs (Dec 5, 2013)

I love these whole-sentence puns!

A newly married couple was honeymooning in Russia.  The husband got in an argument with their tour guide, Rudolph, as to what type of precipitation was outside.  The husband said it was sleet, but the tour guide was adamant that it was just ordinary rain.  To settle the argument, the wife tapped her husband on the shoulder and said "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Hue Heffner was having a party at his mansion, when he noticed monks standing on the edge of his property handing out flowers to arriving guests.  The famous magazine mogul quickly put a stop to their actions.  As it turns out, only Hue can prevent florist friars.


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## Takai (Dec 5, 2013)

Oy Vey!


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