# Job Opening for Apprentice Sith Lord



## Bob Hubbard (Sep 19, 2003)

*Job Opening for Apprentice Sith Lord *

Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group 

An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. 

Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which may be performed using the Force or hand weapons. 

Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant. Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic languages. 

Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.) 

Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance. 

The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens. 

Applications will be accepted until the end of November. Transmit them holographically to: jobs@darkside.com .


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## arnisador (Oct 27, 2003)

Heh.


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## pknox (Oct 27, 2003)

I could just imagine what "severance package" could mean in this case.


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## RCastillo (Oct 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by pknox _
> *I could just imagine what "severance package" could mean in this case.  *



Is there a pension plan with a good HMO?


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## Guro Harold (Nov 13, 2003)

Comments from the quarterly reviews:

Positive review:
"You have done well my friend!"
With a cackle, "Good, Good!"

Negative review:
"So be it, jedi"
"You will pay for your lack of vision."


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## don bohrer (Nov 14, 2003)

Uhm... what happend to the last apprentice Sith Lord? Second thought maybe It's best I don't know.   

don


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## JDenz (Nov 14, 2003)

to bad I gots a good job or I would take you up on that offer.  i am a people person I have a whole slew of them in the basement.


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## Mithios (Nov 15, 2003)

Interesting


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## RCastillo (Nov 15, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *to bad I gots a good job or I would take you up on that offer.  i am a people person I have a whole slew of them in the basement. *



Don't you get rid of the bodies ? You getting lazy?


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## JDenz (Nov 15, 2003)

Ya I am a little behind.  I don't have the force but I am a force lol.  Plus I am pretty good wit a Mag light if that counts.  I have a sword, but the conversion kits to lightsabers are illegal here in NY.  Tim sells them at Horizon but don't tell anyone.


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## RCastillo (Nov 16, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *Ya I am a little behind.  I don't have the force but I am a force lol.  Plus I am pretty good wit a Mag light if that counts.  I have a sword, but the conversion kits to lightsabers are illegal here in NY.  Tim sells them at Horizon but don't tell anyone. *



I guess you musta hijacked a recent load then............


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## JDenz (Nov 16, 2003)

lol no we arn't thieves lol.


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## RCastillo (Nov 16, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *lol no we arn't thieves lol. *



My apologies, I didn't know you guys worked for the "Salvation Army!":rofl:


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## JDenz (Nov 16, 2003)

no we don't but we only take what belongs to us.


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## Bob Hubbard (Nov 16, 2003)

Body disposal....

Step 1: drop down nearby shaft  (Makes note to install hand rails on new DeathStar)

Step 2: do that little vanishing thing  (Makes note to ask Yoda next time on Dagobah)

...


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## RCastillo (Nov 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *no we don't but we only take what belongs to us. *



That's the spirit!


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## JDenz (Nov 17, 2003)

lol


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## RCastillo (Nov 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *lol *



Don't laugh. As they said in the Godfather II, I just want alittle to wet my beak.(Gimme my 10 %!)


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## RCastillo (Nov 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> *Body disposal....
> 
> Step 1: drop down nearby shaft  (Makes note to install hand rails on new DeathStar)
> ...



Don't be cheap. Use a vaporizer! No muss, no fuss.:snipe2:


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## pknox (Nov 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Don't be cheap. Use a vaporizer! No muss, no fuss.*



And no teeth left for those pesky forensics guys either - sweet.  :EG:


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## JDenz (Nov 17, 2003)

Doesn't make much of an example though, you leave a guy with two broken legs and arms die on his floor of starvation and all of a sudden the money is on time every week.


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## RCastillo (Nov 18, 2003)

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *Doesn't make much of an example though, you leave a guy with two broken legs and arms die on his floor of starvation and all of a sudden the money is on time every week. *



It's all in the timing.


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## JDenz (Nov 18, 2003)

i'm all for examples


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## LadyDragon (Nov 19, 2003)

I can only imagine that hazord pay is included in this severance package.


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## pknox (Nov 19, 2003)

I think nobody survives the "severance" package.


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## JDenz (Nov 19, 2003)

at least with all there pcs.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 29, 2003)

Hey, Bob...I sent off for an application to that e-mail you posted.  It got kicked back.

You got a more current one?


Steve


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