# Pick up lines.



## Touch Of Death (Feb 23, 2010)

I heared a new pick up line last night...

"Hey; does this smell like chloriform to you?"

Sean


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## terryl965 (Feb 23, 2010)

One of the best one's of all times is

*Baby whats your sign*​


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## teekin (Mar 1, 2010)

Another fav " Don't scream"!


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## Gordon Nore (Mar 1, 2010)

Off the top of my head... and this is only good for March 2nd.



> The Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments on _McDonald v. Chicago, _and I don't feel I should be alone tonight.



It could work.


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## David43515 (Mar 1, 2010)

Gordon Nore said:


> Off the top of my head... and this is only good for March 2nd.
> 
> 
> 
> It could work.


 
Let us know how that works out for ya`.

One of my favorites around christmas is 

"Why don`t you have a seat on Santa`s lap and tell me all about it."


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## Blade96 (Mar 1, 2010)

I think craziest one I've ever heard is

"i wanna ravage you like a war torn nation!"

some people are weird.......


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## Ken Morgan (Mar 1, 2010)

Blade96 said:


> I think craziest one I've ever heard is
> 
> "i wanna ravage you like a war torn nation!"
> 
> some people are weird.......


 
yeah, but the real question is did it work?


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## seasoned (Mar 1, 2010)

No... I'm not married, honest. :angel:


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## Blade96 (Mar 1, 2010)

Ken Morgan said:


> yeah, but the real question is did it work?



LOL. I have no idea.

Don't think I'd think much of the person who went for that though. pickup line is  too weird.......and to my opinion whoever say that is weird too


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## searcher (Mar 1, 2010)

Best ever:


Hi, I'm Jon.


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## Chris Parker (Mar 2, 2010)

Pick up lines? Okay, uh, let's see...

"Did it hurt?" "What?" "When you fell from heaven...." (Groan, walk away).

"Are you from the council?" "Why?" "Cause you got 'fine' written all over you..." (Pained look, walk away)

"So, should I call you for breakfast, or just nudge you....?" (Drink in face, turn and leave).

"My face is leaving in 5 minutes, want to be on it?" (Slap in face, turn sharply and leave, taking all friends with her).

"Hey, this drink tastes funny, I think it has Rohypnol in it.... can you taste it for me?" (Knee in groin, club security called).

Hmm, come to think of it, they're not so good....


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## Bruno@MT (Mar 2, 2010)

You, me, and a stick of butter...


I've never been good with pick up lines.
When I met the woman who would become my wife, I opted to just have conversation as much as possible.


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## Omar B (Mar 2, 2010)

"Shhhh, go back to sleep."


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## wushuguy (Mar 2, 2010)

No pick up lines ever worked for me. When I first met my wife, I passed her a drawing I did of us walking along the beach.


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## CoryKS (Mar 2, 2010)

Never used one. This works pretty well though.

Position yourself strategically and try not to act like a weirdo. 
Conversation ensues. 
??? 
Profit.


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## Xue Sheng (Mar 2, 2010)

I never used them but I hear one today in a David Lee Roth Song

&#8220;I&#8217;m new in town&#8230;do you think I could get directions to your place&#8221;

I also read an article (humorous) several years ago that was discussing on how to pick up intelligent women and they had pickup lines in it

&#8220;Wow you really have intelligent and self-sufficient looking legs&#8221;

&#8220;what a beautiful forehead, I bet you got a great brain in there&#8221;


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## chaos1551 (Mar 2, 2010)

Xue Sheng said:


> I never used them but I hear one today in a David Lee Roth Song
> 
> Im new in towndo you think I could get directions to your place
> 
> ...


 
:lfao:

Those are dorky enough they might actually work... on another dork.


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## d1jinx (Mar 2, 2010)

1) Did you fart, cuz you just blew me away.

2) Are yer parents mental?​cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.​I just can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?​cuz I'd like to sign you out

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?​cuz I can see myself in em.

6) You might not be the best lookin girl here,​but beauty's only a light switch away.

7) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,​but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

8) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

9) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,​we kin sleep til afternoon.

AND.. the best for last!

10) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,​every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.​​oh and one for the road....​​My Face is leavin, you wanna ride?​


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## xJOHNx (Mar 2, 2010)

"Nice rack"

Most of the times, I just blurt something out. And conversation started.
My last girlfriend I met because of a joke.

The one before because she said she was tougher than me.

Weird.


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## CoryKS (Mar 2, 2010)

I think I just discovered the secret of my success.

Y'all are setting the bar reaaally low.


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## xJOHNx (Mar 2, 2010)

Not really 

I don't look around for a girl. It just happens, never for a second did I ever think: "Damn, she's gonna be mine". I just flow along with what happens...


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## Blade96 (Mar 2, 2010)

another weird one i heard

"How do you like your eggs?  Fertilized?"

omg some people, like I said, are weird. 

*facepalm*


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 2, 2010)

"There are a million stories in this city. Let's be two of them."
Sean


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## d1jinx (Mar 2, 2010)

_You sure do hava perty mouth._


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## Ironcrane (Mar 3, 2010)

"Hello, my name is ???. I'm into long term, loving relationships, and I like to be changed."


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## Chris Parker (Mar 3, 2010)

(Trying hard to hold back giggles...)

Um, do you actually mean "likes to change", or "likes to be changed"...? Cause in different circles, the latter has, uh, connotations.... adult-size connotations... so you know...


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## Bruno@MT (Mar 3, 2010)

CoryKS said:


> Never used one. This works pretty well though.
> 
> Position yourself strategically and try not to act like a weirdo.
> Conversation ensues.
> ...



So what's your slashdot uid?


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## crushing (Mar 3, 2010)

My sister recently observed a man at a restaurant say, "You dropped your name tag" whilst handing a woman a packet of sugar.


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## CoryKS (Mar 3, 2010)

Bruno@MT said:


> So what's your slashdot uid?


 
OMG, is that your pickup line?  Don't do it, man!  :rofl:


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## Nomad (Mar 3, 2010)

My wife once got the line (way before she met me, honest!):

"I'd F*** you in a second"

Here response was:  "A second?  That's not very long.  That sounds like a complete waste of my time!" and walked away...


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## Blade96 (Mar 3, 2010)

a guy once said to me, "Do you do blow jobs?" This was a strange guy, now, who I never met in my life.

He never got away without having my beer dumped over his head.


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## Sukerkin (Mar 3, 2010)

I have to say that the most successful "Pickup line" I ever witnessed was used by a chap who was at university the same time as me.

It's not sophisticated, it's not clever (or is it?) and it most certainly is not decent.

His 'line' of choice?  He'd go around the club/disco/event checking out the girls.  Each one he liked the look of he would walk up to, bold as brass, and say "Fancy a ****?". {As the profanity filter will clearly censor that, it's the word for adult congress that begins with the letter "F"}.

He'd get his face slapped a few times (literally as well as figuratively) but within half an hour he'd be walking out with someone.  Just goes to show, if you have the gall, you can obtain your goal.

Of course, those looking for more than just a little 'action' might concur with me that 'lines', especially ones like that, are not likely to be the source of anything longer term.  Doesn't mean they can't be of course - I just wouldn't put money on it.


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## Ken Morgan (Mar 3, 2010)

Sukerkin said:


> I have to say that the most successful "Pickup line" I ever witnessed was used by a chap who was at university the same time as me.
> 
> It's not sophisticated, it's not clever (or is it?) and it most certainly is not decent.
> 
> ...


 
Yep, I had a friend who would do the same thing. He would start at one end of the bar and work his way down. He had a 10% success rate, so he made sure he always asked at least 11 women.


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## David43515 (Mar 3, 2010)

Ken Morgan said:


> Yep, I had a friend who would do the same thing. He would start at one end of the bar and work his way down. He had a 10% success rate, so he made sure he always asked at least 11 women.


 
It`s AMAZING that you said that. I was just going to write that one of my buddies back in the States used to do the same thing....*and swore he had a 10% success rate with it*. He said all you have to do is ask enough girls point blank, and 1 in 10 will say yes. He also said he got slapped occationally but that it was worth it.


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## Bruno@MT (Mar 4, 2010)

David43515 said:


> It`s AMAZING that you said that. I was just going to write that one of my buddies back in the States used to do the same thing....*and swore he had a 10% success rate with it*. He said all you have to do is ask enough girls point blank, and 1 in 10 will say yes. He also said he got slapped occationally but that it was worth it.



For women, the statistics are probably inverse.
If a women asked 10 men in a bar, she'd have a 10 % chance of getting a 'no'.


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## xJOHNx (Mar 4, 2010)

Hilarious!


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## Flea (Mar 4, 2010)

Sukerkin said:


> His 'line' of choice?  He'd go around the club/disco/event checking out the girls.  Each one he liked the look of he would walk up to, bold as brass, and say "Fancy a ****?". {As the profanity filter will clearly censor that, it's the word for adult congress that begins with the letter "F"}.



That reminds me of a favorite scene from a novel - Robert Anton Wilson's Schroedinger's Cat trilogy had a character who was a Little Person and could _not_ get laid.  He was very bitter about this and it consumed him.  Finallly one day he took an est course and came out feeling completely psyched and empowered.  He went to a nightclub and approached the first hot chick he saw ... "What would you say to a friendly little ****?"

She reached down and patted him on the head.  "Hello, friendly little ****."


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## CoryKS (Mar 4, 2010)

Flea said:


> That reminds me of a favorite scene from a novel - Robert Anton Wilson's Schroedinger's Cat trilogy had a character who was a Little Person and could _not_ get laid. He was very bitter about this and it consumed him. Finallly one day he took an est course and came out feeling completely psyched and empowered. He went to a nightclub and approached the first hot chick he saw ... "What would you say to a friendly little ****?"
> 
> She reached down and patted him on the head. "Hello, friendly little ****."


 
Markoff Chaney!  I love that guy!  The trick with the hand-washing signs was great.


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## thardey (Mar 23, 2010)

When I first met my wife, I didn't like her. She's gorgeous, but I thought she was a tease.

So as an icebreaker at a party, she approached me and challenged me to describe myself in three sentences (something that she is embarrased about to this day).

My first two sentences were boring and not worth repeating here, but the third one:

#3: You couldn't keep up with me.

Caught her attention for the rest of the night.
The problem was that I really was trying to give her the brush-off, but she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

Good thing for me! (We've been married 7 years).


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