# "Relax"



## manchu (Jun 1, 2011)

I am a woman training Muay Thai for the past 3 years. I went to Thailand for twice. I love it! I have been told by some people to "relax" when I spar. Some of them seemed reasonable, but some of them I am not sure. What I mean is that do people tell me to relax because I seem crazy as a woman?? Or, my style is just crazy or something. One guys started laughing, when I was sparring with him. I am feeling a bit self consicous. Who cares as long as I enjoy it, right? No one told me to relax when I was training hard in Thailand. Yet, I have been told to relax by a sparring partner and a coach before in the U.S.. One trainer actually said, "Don't be so crazy." when I was doing a pad work with him. What do they mean? Tonight, I was sparring with a young student, and he said, "Common, relax." I realldy don't understand when people say that to me. Is it bad too be intense? as a woman maybe? Do guys tell guys to relax when they spar??


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## Thesemindz (Jun 1, 2011)

I think the people you are training with now are probably just not used to training at the pace you've become accustomed to. It sounds like you've gone through some intense training, and these guys are just used to training a little lighter. I'd take a step back and watch how other students in the class are training. Look at their intensity and the pace of their strikes. It may just be that you and your training partners aren't expecting the same experience when training.

As to the question about gender, that depends on the school. We don't discriminate, but some schools do. Are there other female students? How are they treated?

If you aren't sure what your training partners and instructors mean when they tell you to relax you should ask them. Instruction you can't understand is of no use. If you can't ask that's another problem. But if you don't ask you won't know.

Maybe come in early next time and watch some of the other students train. Hang around and ask for pointers. You don't have to take anyone's advice, but their answers will tell you something about their practice. If the school is training at a different speed then you're used to, that's not necessarily a bad thing. They may still have a lot to offer.


-Rob


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 1, 2011)

manchu said:


> I am a woman training Muay Thai for the past 3 years. I went to Thailand for twice. I love it! I have been told by some people to "relax" when I spar. Some of them seemed reasonable, but some of them I am not sure. What I mean is that do people tell me to relax because I seem crazy as a woman?? Or, my style is just crazy or something. One guys started laughing, when I was sparring with him. I am feeling a bit self consicous. Who cares as long as I enjoy it, right? No one told me to relax when I was training hard in Thailand. Yet, I have been told to relax by a sparring partner and a coach before in the U.S.. One trainer actually said, "Don't be so crazy." when I was doing a pad work with him. What do they mean? Tonight, I was sparring with a young student, and he said, "Common, relax." I realldy don't understand when people say that to me. Is it bad too be intense? as a woman maybe? Do guys tell guys to relax when they spar??


First of all, I just think you need to relax. In my system relaxation is the third principle of motion, after posture and balance. Tension can be both mental and physical; however, someone is recognizing an issue. Yes, people have told me to relax. It is quite common, given its the third principle of motion.
Sean


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 1, 2011)

I see the issue on your issue. Any man who knows the ladies, knows not to tell them to relax; because, it puts forth the concept that the thing she is raving about is not important or that her feelings are un-waranted. Save that stuff for your personal life, and accept that relaxation is a part of martial arts, and that we all need to prioritize tension.
Sean


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## manchu (Jun 1, 2011)

Wait, I am confused. We need to prioritize tension, but we need to relax?


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 1, 2011)

manchu said:


> Wait, I am confused. We need to prioritize tension, but we need to relax?


Yes, exactly. Any more questions.
Sean


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 1, 2011)

manchu said:


> Wait, I am confused. We need to prioritize tension, but we need to relax?


Relaxing without tension is called sleeping.
Sean


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## jks9199 (Jun 1, 2011)

It's hard to answer without seeing you.  It may be that you're simply going harder than your training partners are used to -- or harder than the drill is meant to be done.  Or it may be that you have too much tension and too much activity and are wearing yourself out and interfering with your ability to set things up because of that.

Ask your coaches and partners to clarify what they mean when they tell you to relax.


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## Nibla (Jun 2, 2011)

When I get told to relax I know I need to relax my muscles and not force my movements. In sparring it also means I'm freezing up mentally and tensing up when I need to be creating openings and countering attacks.

But I'm a dude, so I could ask what they meant. Perhaps write a letter and send it via a male slave?


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## JohnEdward (Jun 2, 2011)

Let's say you are too intense mentally and physically. Lots of energy and intensity, like a train at full throttle burnin' up the tracks.  Sometimes people can't handle that intense level of energy during training.  For them, it is like holding a tiger by the tail, so the naturally want to control all that energy coming at them as they can't handle it. That is something you definitely want in a contest, you want your opponent scrambling constantly trying to deal with that intensity that is delivered as attacks. You want to came at them as a freight train bearing down on them burn' up those tracks, not letting up.  If this is the case, have the training partners suck it up and deal with your intensity. If they can't deal with it, find someone who will be able to work with you at your level. 

If your eagerness to perform well becomes over compensating, causing muscle tension that inhibit your performance, such as continued contracted muscles prior, during, and after executing a strike, thereby reducing speed and fluidity of motion, or reducing your stamina, then it is a matter of mentally and physically relaxing to the degree required to enhance performance. I wouldn't let your mental intensity as described earlier lapse.


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## Kframe (Jun 3, 2011)

JohnEdward said:


> Let's say you are too intense mentally and physically. Lots of energy and intensity, like a train at full throttle burnin' up the tracks. Sometimes people can't handle that intense level of energy during training. For them, it is like holding a tiger by the tail, so the naturally want to control all that energy coming at them as they can't handle it. That is something you definitely want in a contest, you want your opponent scrambling constantly trying to deal with that intensity that is delivered as attacks. You want to came at them as a freight train bearing down on them burn' up those tracks, not letting up. If this is the case, have the training partners suck it up and deal with your intensity. If they can't deal with it, find someone who will be able to work with you at your level.
> 
> If your eagerness to perform well becomes over compensating, causing muscle tension that inhibit your performance, such as continued contracted muscles prior, during, and after executing a strike, thereby reducing speed and fluidity of motion, or reducing your stamina, then it is a matter of mentally and physically relaxing to the degree required to enhance performance. I wouldn't let your mental intensity as described earlier lapse.


 

Dumb question here but when you throw a strike, y our using a muscle. Wouldnt that muscle have to have "tension" inorder for it to operate. Every time i move my arm or leg or punch a bag or some such i can feel my muscles tensing up and flexing. Maybe im interpreting this wrong.


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 3, 2011)

Kframe said:


> Dumb question here but when you throw a strike, y our using a muscle. Wouldnt that muscle have to have "tension" inorder for it to operate. Every time i move my arm or leg or punch a bag or some such i can feel my muscles tensing up and flexing. Maybe im interpreting this wrong.


Isolating the proper muscles to tense, instead of them all, is what this conversation is about. However there are multiple theories on how to get the best effect. There is time to target tension, and there is a "through not to" thing(think drunken style motion) where you are supposed to be lose the whole time, but still you are exercising enough tension not to be laying on the floor.
Sean


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## KELLYG (Jun 3, 2011)

Manchu,

Are they telling you to relax because you are coming at them in a more intense fashion than they are used to.  Like the difference in jogging and running full force like someone is chasing you down.  Or is it because all of your muscles are tight, rigid at all times.


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## Nomad (Jun 3, 2011)

Kframe said:


> Dumb question here but when you throw a strike, y our using a muscle. Wouldnt that muscle have to have "tension" inorder for it to operate. Every time i move my arm or leg or punch a bag or some such i can feel my muscles tensing up and flexing. Maybe im interpreting this wrong.



For a muscle to contract, it requires tension, for it to expand, it requires relaxation.  Almost any movement such as throwing a punch requires some muscles to contract, and others to relax.  Most people worry too much about the former, and maintain tension in muscles that are unrelated or antagonistic to the action being done.  This necessarily slows down the movement (and makes it look jerky or less graceful).

Teaching someone how and when to contract their muscles when throwing a punch is relatively easy; teaching them how and when to relax uninvolved or antagonistic muscles while doing so is somewhat more complex.

How many times have you seen someone throw a punch while their neck muscles are very stiff and tense?  This is very common, and both wastes energy and slows down their reactions.  In contrast, someone who is relaxed can move remarkably fast when they choose to, and won't be nearly as winded after a few minutes of sparring.

It's also a criticism that I found nearly as frustrating as "breathe" for several years, until I've slowly figured out what's meant, and more importantly, how to actually get my body to do it...


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## baborz (Jun 4, 2011)

The best I can explain is like this....Have you ever seen "The Matrix"??? Neo was never at his full fighting skill until he was relaxed and totally comfortable in his element. This is exactly the same(from what I can gather from the conversation. I think what the people meant was not harmful,but constructive criticism. I find when I work the bag out of frustration my form and function are not up to my expectations and when I workout in total relaxation and inner peace my form is much better. Always remember....This is a art. Have you ever seen a shaky painter???........There are my two pennies.


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