# The lighter side of Professor Presas



## Rocky (Jul 21, 2003)

I have decided after being unjustly attacked by some mental midgets, because I tell the whole truth about Professor good and bad, that it would be refreshing for people to tell some stories of their adventures with Professor.


 The Cake incident :The Cake incident : 

  It was 1983 Professor was spending a month or so at my parents house, he and my father loved to go to the movies, almost everyday. I don't know if its common knowledge but Professor had a rather large sweet tooth, as did my dad. Well I was walking home from a LaCross game and I was about 3 house away and I see my dad and Remy running to my dads car, and my mom beating the crap out of Remy with a broom, man was she pissed!!!, Well they picked me up and my dad and Remy had cake smeared all over them. They were laughing so hard, which if you knew my dad he wasn't the type to laugh hystarically. It turns out that my mom had made the huge triple layered, pine apple coconut upside down cake for her pastor at her church, it was his birthday. Well my dad and Remy came home from an afternoon movie, my mom was out shopping, and they thought she had made it for the familly, when she walked in the two of them have wolfed down almost have of it, and she went balistic. Remy tried to smooth it over by telling her it was just so delicious they couldn't help it and when he tried to give a peace to taste she slapped it out of his hand and it hit my dad in the face, of course Remy started laughing, so my mom took a handful and crammed it in Remy's face and told him to shut up, which of course made my dad and Remy laugh even more, which of course led to my mom grabbing her trusty broom, which was thier cue to get the hell out of Dodge.  We spent the next 2 hours trying to find a cake that was almost as nice, and Remy and my dad spent the next couple of days kissing my moms butt!!


Rocky


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## Dan Anderson (Jul 21, 2003)

I have *nothing * to even compare to this.  C'mon guys, step up.  Let's hear more!

Dan :rofl:


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## Cebu West (Jul 22, 2003)

Several years ago my son and I were attending one of professor's seminars. It was an outdoor event in Philadelphia. There were several kids training at the this event along with many adults. At one point during the seminar my son was brought to me as he was just stung by a bee. He was only 9 at the time so he was pretty shook up. Professor had noticed what was going on and stopped teaching to check on my son and make sure he was OK. After cheering him up some Professor went over to his bag and brought over one of his patches for my son. This took the edge off the sting and training continued.
 On another occasion at a seminar where kids were also training, Professor came over to me and told me to help with the kids. He told me to get on my knees so I would be the same size as them. 
 These remind me of how much the Professor loved the children and how proud he was of them. He was always smiling when he was around them. I guess he could see his art moving well into the future.

SAL


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## Rocky (Jul 23, 2003)

Come on Tim, I know as twisted as you can be you have to some good stories.   Unless you have lost your touch 


Rocky


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## Datu Tim Hartman (Jul 23, 2003)

I was with Remy in Detroit with a group of students from my school. We all stayed with Remy at a house that Jaye Spiro got us. It was 1am and I hear a wierd noise coming from the bathroom upstairs. *(Bloop, bloop, bloop, flush!)* Soon after Remy came down stairs and we talked for about an hour.

The next morning we were all hanging out in the living room as one of my students came down the stairway after taking a shower. Remy saw that Doug's hair was wet and asked how he showered because the drain was broke. Doug said that the drain did work. It turned out that the sounds that I heard the night before was Remy emptying out the tub with a tin can and flushing it down the toilet because he couldn't get the drain to work.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Datu Tim Hartman (Jul 23, 2003)

I think what I remember the most about Remy is that he never ignored his inner child. We were always playing pranks on each other. One such occasion was at a seminar at Jaye Spiro's in Detroit. We were picking Remy up at the airport and we missed him getting off the plane. Jaye and I split up looking for him. Jaye then found me and told me he was waiting up front and she would meet me there with her car. When I got to the meeting area I heard someone call out "Hartman!". I looked by the doors and there was Remy darting behind a pillar trying to hide from me. I immediately went into game playing mode. I dashed around the other side of the pillar to sneak up behind and surprise him. As I rounded the pillar I could see him looking for me and thought this was my chance. I reached out to grab him only to have him turn around at the last minute and throw a open palm strike inches from my nose and shout Ha! After that we hugged and people must have thought we were crazy. They were right! 





:rofl:


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## twinkletoes (Jul 24, 2003)

OK, this won't even be close, but it was still damn funny at the time:

About 3 years ago at the East Coast camp in Holyoke, MA, it was beastly hot.  I mean, it was *nasty*  in that gym.  So we're all being troopers and sticking it out.  Well, we get to saturday afternoon, and we're starting to do the cane forms, and nobody has energy left because of the crushing heat.  We're all going through the forms totally lifelessly, and Professor calls out "Stop!  I want you to line up, please." So everyone falls in and he pulls some of the senior belts up in front, and we're all just waiting to see what he's going to say.  Finally, he says "You all look very tired.  You have no energy left.  We will fix this." And everybody smiles and sighs with relief.  Then he says "I want you to do jumping jacks!  Ready, go!"  And he makes the entire crowd start doing jumping jacks and couting, while he supervises.  After about 10 or so, the senior belts are all looking at each other, wondering just how many he's going to make us do.  

Well, we never got past about 15 because by that point he was laughing so hard he needed to sit down.  We all stopped, and when he regained his breath he said "Thank you, I feel much better now!"  The whole room burst out laughing.  (After that, he told some stories and taught leglocks, just to keep things light.)

~TT

PS - My favorite quote was the next year:  "Why do you come to see me at camp?  It is not to learn.  It is because you want to be happy.  You have money, and it does not make you happy.  I know you have money, because otherwise you would not be here to see me...."


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## arnisador (Jul 24, 2003)

The Professor certainly had a good sense of humour and enjoyed showing it! I'm enjoying seeing these stories.


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## Cruentus (Jul 24, 2003)

> _Originally posted by arnisador _
> *The Professor certainly had a good sense of humour and enjoyed showing it! I'm enjoying seeing these stories. *



Leave it to the "mature" college professor to even mention it! :rofl: :rofl: 

He did try to give me "woman" advise a couple of times which I found to be utterly hestarical. I will be keeping those conversations off the net, however!


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## Cruentus (Jul 24, 2003)

Here are two pretty hilarious stories that happened at the same camp. It was chicago fall camp, I think 1999; Mary Buiner was hosting??? (someone correct me because I am sure I am mixing up the name).

Anyways, it was myself and 2 of my students, Vince and Jared. The camp was held in a confrence hall with a fairly low ceiling, with hanging light fictures. The management warned the host, who intern relayed the message to Professor, not to hit the lights with the stick. Somehow the message got a little mixed up, and professor thought that the light fixtures, which were really only $22 a piece, were over $200 dollars a piece. So he was naturally freaked out and worried, so before and after each break he would say something to the effect of, "Now you must all be very careful. You see....these lights, they are very expensive! If you are not careful you might hit them and they will break, and we will have to pay lots of money!" This went on and on, and probably after the sixth time he said it, and we all went off to train sinawalis, I hear a loud "Crash!" Standing under a completely obliterated light fixture with a look of guilt and horror on his face was my student (of course MY student) Jared. The entire seminar screeched to a halt. Everyone was staring at Jared like he had 3 heads or something, with their jaws on the floor in disbelief, because this unkown student just totally did exactly the opposite of what "the man" himself, The Professor, warned everyone not to do. Professor literally had his mouth open also in disbelief. That was about the longest 5-10 seconds of Jareds life with everyone staring, and at this point he looked like he was going to cry. So, being as inappropriate as I often am, I yell out, "Nice shoot, Ace! Now... everyone else try!" This broke the ice. Professor just smiled, trying not to laugh too hystarically, and shook his head. The rest of the camp started to laugh also, and they lightened up. I immediately went over to Professor and told him that I would take care of the light, and and any expenses, so he wouldn't worry. The whole thing became the joke of the entire camp.

That was of course until this happened. Professor, after Saturdays session before dinner, told a very in depth story about when he was training balintawak. He explained that he was much younger then, and sort of scrawney compared to the other eskrimadors. They would always over power him and beat him up in class. So Remy had an idea. One of his masters that he was training under (he didn't specify who, but I am guessing Moncol, his 1st instructor for Balintawak) loved whiskey. So in the evening on more then one occasion he would bring his master a pint of whiskey and some cooked meat. His master would drink it, and get a little tipsy. Then Professor would proceed to ask his liquored up master questions, poking and proding him, and getting all the fighting "secrets" that the other students weren't getting in class. Then he would use these "secrets" to beat the other students who were previously beating him. It was really a pretty cool story.

So at dinner time we (me and my students) bought him a pint of Jack. After the evening session, when everyone was sitting around and professor was giving his "closing speech," I raised my hand. Then, with permission, I stood up and presented him with the pint and said, "In lew of last sessions story, me and my students would like to present you with a little night cap. Also, we were hoping we would come by later and ask you a few technical questions." So now everyones cracking up. Then Professor says, "Thank you Faul....but I don't drink the alcahol." Now myself and a few others who know that this was a blatent lie are almost in tears with laughter. We were all like, "Sure ya don't professor...we'll see you at the room later!" 

We never did go drinking that night, but he did spar with me a lot the next day, so my scheme sort of half worked.

Those were some good times!


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## Rocky (Jul 24, 2003)

I promiss not to make this to nasty a story, Remy and I  have had few shall we say good times at the night clubs together. Remy had a charm sometimes and when it was on he could get the ladies to at least talk, which is always a first step. Well we were on a ship going accross the North Sea, it was the winter time and I was a little upset about being surrounded by ice. So I went to play a little Black Jack I was under 21 but hey on ship they let you do just about anything so what the heck. Mean Hal ( My top student) was no where to be found, Remy comes up to me, he's about 3 sheets to the wind. He says ROCKY !  I have someone who wants to meet you - you must come now her sister will not dance with me unless she has a friend to. Well I was thinking cool Remy had pretty good taste, so what the hell ( I was 19 and pretty much a horn dog). Well we take about 4 or 5 steps and Remy turns back and says, ROCKY now don't be scared when you see her!!! WELL let me tell you.... that is phrase that will pretty much stop all bodily function right there on the spot, I pretty much frooze in my tracks. He grabbs me by the arm and pulls me with him and says their from San Fansisco, now I am almost shaking. We start walking towards the bar and ther is this huge like a foot taller person there dressed in a black dress  with a hat red lipstick and a 5 OCLOCK SHADOW!! Now I am freaking, at the last minute Professor turns us to the right real quick and there were these 2 fairly hot chicks sitting there. We ended up pretty drunk on coconut rum that night, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was drownding.

 Now I don't know if Remy said not to be scared because he thought I might not be able to communicate or I might be shy with the girls. Or if he new about the girl/guy at the bar and walk me towards them to mess with me or what. I asked him later and all he did was smile. 

Rocky


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## Cruentus (Jul 24, 2003)

There's nothin' like RP at the night club. He gets one or two drinks in him and out on the dance floor he goes (usually right in the middle of a conglomerate of hot chicks!), where it's like watching the red sea part. It's funny to watch chicks who could be his grandaughters give him funny looks, then dart off in different directions while he just smiles and dances away! :rofl:


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## stickarts (Jul 24, 2003)

Sometimes, as you know, the Prof. was great at telling you what you wanted to hear!!
One of the years that i had Prof. in for a seminar, i had just gotten married. He went on about how happy i would be and what a good decision it was and that being married was great.
literally one minute later, He then walked across the room to a student of mine who was dating but did not want to get married. Prof., thinking he was out of  earshot, went on to my student about how smart he was not to get married and it would be a bad move, NOT to do it! Marriage is bad!
I laughed long and hard over that one!


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## Rocky (Jul 25, 2003)

From Master Hal Edwards!!!

 I had almost forgot about this one.

 This is a classic, we were in either Keil Germany or  Amsterdam sorry I guess I am getting old, anyways we met this psychotic cab driver, first we told him we eere in a hurry, so he damn near killed us getting where we were going, he actually hit a guy on a bicycle that had his front tire a little to far out in the cross walk waiting for the light to turn green, then he yelled at the guy gave him the finger and kept on going, not even slowing down. Remy was horrified he actually looked at the guy and said, Son a Beech, you puck'n run that man over!!! The guy just giggled and kept going.

  Well to short'n the story somehow this cabby invited himself to lunch with us and became our guide. The next day he set us up a class at a Karate studio he new, we had no Idea who this Karate guy was or anything, but we figured what the hell we would go check it out. Well we get there he drops us off says someting to the guy and leaves. Remy, Hal and myself are just all sitting there with this guy who lookes like Charles Manson, just sat there and stared at Remy for like 20 minutes, it was so quite you could here a pin drop. Apparently he spoke no English, so we just sat there, I gave him one of Remy's books, but he just sat there, so I am thinking OOOOKAY!!! well then a few student started coming in, and I swear to you everyone that came in was like a cloan of the instructor, same ratty looking hair and beard, they all sat behind him and stared at us, now I am starting to feel my rear end puker up!! After a while they all get up and go out on the floor the lights get real dim and the instructor stands in the middle or circle formed by his students with a light shinning straight down on him. They start chanting something and then they get on their knees and bow down in front of him. Now Remy is getting nervous, and beleave me the last thing you wanna hear coming from the mouth of your instructor, whom you happen to think is one of the badest dudes alive is, "Rocky stay close to me I don't like this" Well if Remy is nervous you can imagine how Hal and I  felt, I know for a fact that a lump of coal in my butt would have turn to a diamond. So they get done with there thing and the instructor says some thing they all turn towards Remy and all I could thnk was damn, I hope there vegatarians, I was sweating like Tim Hatman at a strip club :rofl: 

 Next thing I know they are all on the ground bowing to Professor like he was the second coming, the instructor brought Remy and I to the middle of the cirle we gave a little demo and they were mesmorized by it, they all got sticks we started teaching basic disarms and locks, and we had a great time. Latter they had a big dinner for us upstairs, they wouldn't eat till Remy did, there ended up being one who spoke some English, he translated some for us. They were without a doubt the most disciplined to the point of cultish group of Martial artis I ever met, but we had a good time, never heard or spoke to them again after that. It was definately a very weird time.

Rocky


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## Dan Anderson (Jul 25, 2003)

This has got to be one of the best threads yet.  Unfortunately, I have to admit to being too stiff necked in the senior-junior relationship to have let RP in that close so I have *no[/i] stories to tell.  In retrospect, DAMN!  Great stories, guys.  Keep 'em coming.  I'm seeing Bram this weekend.  I'll bet he has some to offer.

Yours,
Lonesome Dan*


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## BRAM (Jul 31, 2003)

Ok Ok..yeah I got a bunch of them..but one will do I guess...
Remy loved staying on Miami Beach...He liked walking out my door onto the beach and the girls out there...
But usually it started as a message on my machine.."oh Bram.. I am @ the airport..You come get me...this is Remy..."
Except there are 4 major airports nearby..and he'd never tell me which one...one on four..How could I miss?
I'd have to call and ask for the airlines to check and see if they had a Remy Presas on any flight into somewhere near Miami...
Of course this is against airline rules so I'd plead that he was an "old man" ( yeah right..sure he was!)  and he could be lost or upset if I didn't find him..
They usually swallowed that one..
THen I d drive like crazy to the airport...run to the gate and sure enough he'd come walking off the plane and look at me.."Oh Bram..I knew you would be here to meet me..You found the plane.."
As we walked to the car....
"hmm let's go visit Willie"..
"ahh Remy..Willie lives in Clearwater..if you really wanted to see Willie why not fly there and see Willie? I mean we've done this before you know!"
"Bram..we will drive to see Willie..NOW!"..
So I call my daughter and tell her I'm off to drive Remy to see willie...
"gee Daddy..how far will you and Remy get this time?"
smart *** kids..who needs them?
So we set off to see Willie..Now its about 4-5 hour drive to see Willie...
Within minutes Remy is leaning against the door of my car sleeping...
Around 2 hours later he wakes up..
"Bram..I am too tired to see Willie..WE should go back to your house..."
After a brief discussion about the fact that we NEVER make it to Willies cause hes ALWAYS too tired..of course I turned around and drove home..
As we walked in the door my daughter starts laughing and asks.."hey how far did you guys make it this time?"
"oh Rachael..we got almost to ..Bram was it Naples? very close..What is for dinner?"



be safe
Bram


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