# 65 things you do when your into MMA..



## J-kid (Jul 8, 2003)

65 things you do when your into MMA.. 
This is 65 things you do when your into MMA.
OK guys maybe you seen this, but i think its pretty funny..
here we go..
-You size EVERYONE up right away to decide what would be the best way to "finish" them... 
-you start to name your pets and children after mma figures 
-You feel like if you have to explain that there are rules and say what they are one more time you'll explode. 
-Also using bjj postioning/holds/subs to achieve dominance in the bedroom dept when doing the wild thing with your girlfriend!!! 
-Role play in sex is to make your girlfriend dress up in a GI to aid in the above statement!!! 
-Worrying that your girlfriend will triangle you when you are in the missionary position and put one arm under! 
-When watching the Lewis vs Tyson fight you explained to your mates that Lewis would be a 'sucker' for a double leg. 
-Everytime a mate comes round there is always a UFC/Pride event playing to create and 'ambience'. 
-You look at guys cauliflower ears and think 'respect!' 
-Your first bout of cauliflower ears feels like a right of passage 
-When you watch tv & see "any" fighting, you tell everyone what "move" they could have used to win! 
you check out everyone's ears 
-you check your footing in the bar to make sure you won't slip if you shuld have to leg kick someone. 
-Also you think how fun it would be to work leg kicking drills on guys dancing at night clubs 
-anytime one of your friends puts his hand on you, you instinctively take it too far and end up on the ground subbing him. 
-you get aggravated when someone says something about Royce "used to beat the **** out of people" or Tank is always drunk as **** and coming out of a barroom straigh into the octagon. 
-if your basement is lined with wrestling mats in case you feel the urge to get a little more training in. 
-you wear mma shirts in public forgetting you have them on(I wore a Victory/**** With Me shirt to the grocery store on numerous occasions) 
-you practice the "twister" on your girlfriend to see how bad it hurts. 
-you ALWAYS go for the double underhooks when giving a chick a hug. 
When you explain to you girlfriend that she has you in her open guard while you are having sex. 
How about when you go to get out of bed and not one part of your body works properly anymore... 
When you see a name beginning with R, you instinctively pronounce it with an H in your head. 
You shout instructions to movie characters during fight scenes. 
When you're in bed with your chick and she asks you, "What position do you wanna do next?" You say, "Let me get in your guard!" instead of "missionary" or "I wanna be on top" 
....or you'll say, "Go ahead and get the mount" and when she does you'll have your elbows in and you want so bad to raise one of your knees to get a butterfly hook as she steps over you! 
A gi permanently in the washing machine. 
Phone number for massage therapist on speed dial. 
And, of course, walking around with an injury of two any given day of the week. You pretend to hide your bruises but "accidentally" let them show and grin at whoever sees them Fight Club style. 
Also you learn the secrets of cover up make-up for important business meetings 
Everytime you hug your girlfriend from behind, you instinctively apply a rear naked choke. 
You start applying subs on your pets. 
Your dog has learned to pass your open guard. 
You look quizically at people when they suggest you do something that would result in missing a UFC and say,"Are you nuts that's like missing the superbowl baby!!" 
You are no longer grossed out by having some guys sweat drip in your face. 
These are things that I do all the time 
- double underhooks when giving hug 
- when laying on the couch applying a string of leg, and foot submissions on my wife. Occasionally I will just sit there and hold her in an achilles or toe hold for like half an hour, she is so used to it she doesnt even care any more. 
- You have more Pride/UFC dvds or tapes then movies 
- Whenever a cool song comes on you imagine it being your entrance song. 
You use your butterfly guard to adjust the bed covers like you're sweeping someone. 
Your wife now instinctively drops her base when you give her the previously mentioned bodylock hug. 
she also knows that the Oil Change defence works as a counter to a triangle.(Dirty, dirty biatch I's tell ya) 
you "reluctantly" explain you are not a boxer. "Have you ever seen the UFC? that's what I do." 
how about when u are bored because your girlfriend is watching some crappy lifetime show, and she asks, "what are you doing?" and you find yourself teaching her one stuffed dog how to properly apply armbars on her other stuffed dog. that happened to me yesterday...lol 
.....when you draw eyes on the back of your boxer shorts 
.....when you keep your distance from chain link fences 
.....when you look at a house and think 'I could put some mats there, and a bag there' 
You don't mind showing your friends how much it really hurts. 
You train your ladies friends or others how the gaurd works and you really aren't effected by being in between their legs for about 10 seconds until your real instinct kicks in. 
Not only do you frequently shadow box, but you also shadow roll with everything from stuffed animals to pillows your own imagination. You have a perfect "air triangle" and all you need now is someone in it. 
You perfect your GnP technique with any part of the bed when you find yourself alone. If you are ever caught, it is more embarrasing than getting caught jerking off. 
anytime I see someone wearing a shirt with a triangle on it automaticly think it's a team shirt 
curiousity to ask guys with cauliflower ear where they train 
when my coworkers argue with me I slap a submission on em 
When your driving and start day dreaming about putting the old lady across the street in a Kimura. 
When you contimplate your future childs name as: Jens, Ronin, Couture, etc....lol. 
If you demonstrate certain techniques on the cashier, in the line at Wal-mart. 
Your wife gets pissed off because you scream at Buffy for fighting too fancy and not punching straight 
when your friends play fight and they see you coming they immediately stop before you jump in. 
Everyone that comes by your house is subjected to at least 2 hours of watching MMA tapes you have..... 
When you call to order PPV, & during your 1/2 hour call with the guy, you "sell" MMA to him & convince him to order it....... 
You wear your cup outside of the gym cuz it just feels right 
You get the urge to walk into cheesy Martial Arts gym and issue a challenge 
You laugh hysterically at bodybuilders and "buff" guys walking around like they are bad men...

good stuff.
__________________


----------



## twinkletoes (Jul 8, 2003)

-you post lists of 65 things that you obviously do... 

Just jerkin' yer chain, bro.  I do 'em too.

~TT


----------

