# Quotes, Sayings and Bumper Stickers



## Bob Hubbard (Sep 23, 2003)

Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children. 


Summa cum laude graduate, Darth Vader School of Personnel Management


B.S. (Phys): Why does it work? B.S. (Engr): How does it work? B.A. (Acctg): How much will it cost? B.A. (Arts) You want fries with that?


----------



## rmcrobertson (Sep 23, 2003)

"IF IGNORANCE IS BLISS, WHY ARE MOST PEOPLE UNHAPPY?"


----------



## TheRustyOne (Sep 23, 2003)

Here's the two on my car now: 

"I make sounds only other freaks can hear"
and
"On the first day God said {insert caffine molecule model here} and there was coffee!"

one i've seen on campus that i want:

"Evolve, damnit!"

one from evolvefish.com

"I found Jesus; He was in my trunk when i got back from Tiauana"
and one of those darwin fish things gettin it on w/ one of the jesus fishes...*sigh* there's a lot of weird stuff out there.


www.evolvefish.com has some darn funny stuff...now if only i had money...


and of course, the one that describes most new drivers...and then some!
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk!"


...i should keep records of funny bumperstickers on campus...


----------



## pknox (Sep 23, 2003)

Somewhat related to the Jesus ones, I have also seen:

GOD IS MY CO-PILOT
But we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

JESUS SAVES!
Gretzky rebounds and scores!

and the classics...

HORN BROKEN
Finger still works

VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS

MY CHILD BEAT UP YOUR HONOR STUDENT

BABY ON BOARD
Mother-in-law in trunk

MY OTHER CAR IS A PIECE OF CRAP TOO


----------



## TheEdge883 (Sep 23, 2003)

My couple:

Hit me if you love masochism

I'm kinkier than a pubic hair!


----------



## rachel (Sep 23, 2003)

The one on my car right now. "You've been a bad boy. Go to my room".


----------



## Chronuss (Sep 23, 2003)

...I saw this one on an Airforce car..."My other car is an F-16"

"Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an *******"...


----------



## MA-Caver (Sep 24, 2003)

I saw three that I liked

Allah protect me from your followers

Atheism Is Myth Understood (nice pun)

Come The Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?


----------



## bdparsons (Sep 24, 2003)

If you don't believe there is a God, you'd better be right.


----------



## bushi jon (Sep 24, 2003)

Fugly
My other car is in my nose
let an electr undo your shorts


----------



## KanoLives (Sep 24, 2003)

One night after taking a friend home at like 2:30 in the morning, I got stuck driving behind a guy who was doing 25 mph in a 45 mph zone. I wanted to get home and go to bed so bad.  I was behind him for like 10 mins doing his speed when I then seen what his bumper sticker said:

"I maybe driving slow, but at least I'm in front of you."


Needless to say that pissed me off.


----------



## rmcrobertson (Sep 24, 2003)

Here's one I saw on an old, beat-up Rabbit parked outside the stage entrance to a place in Salem, Massachusetts where they put on re-enactments of the Witch Trials:

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WHIPS AND CHAINS EXCITE ME


----------



## theletch1 (Sep 24, 2003)

> STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WHIPS AND CHAINS EXCITE ME


I think I dated her in high school 

I saw a beat up '70 ford pick up with more rust than body that had one that said "Don't laugh! It's paid for."


----------



## KenpoTess (Sep 24, 2003)

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "


Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."

On the other hand, you have different fingers.


"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

Keep honking, I'm reloading. 

How do I set the laser printer to stun? 

Grow your own dope, plant a man

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."


----------



## TheRustyOne (Sep 24, 2003)

Then there's the one that got Chronuss's feathers ruffled one night...

"Lowriders are for boys who can't get it up"

it was seen on a raised -- and quite ugly -- pickup truck.


----------



## KenpoTess (Sep 24, 2003)

My Grandchildren Must Be Spoiled Because They Smell Bad!

Carry your own emotional baggage!

 I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.

I'm looking for a juicy sin to commit.

I shoot and kill animals because I know they are guilty!

I flee from small, woodland creatures.

I'm not a complete idiot. You complete me.

Women are like buses. Once one runs you down, there'll be another along, to do the same, in a few minutes.

Somebody needs to rub my belly and tell me I'm pretty.

Ask me for directions, I'll tell you where to go.

Don't make me pull this thing over.

Sometimes I aim to please, but mostly I just shoot to kill.

Well-Traveled. Not really, mind just wanders.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the porch!

So many pedestrians, not enough horse-power


----------



## TheRustyOne (Sep 24, 2003)

"Some leaders are born women"

"My imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend"


----------



## Nightingale (Sep 24, 2003)

PRO LIFE? GOOD! NOW GO GET ONE AND STAY OUT OF MINE!

AGAINST ABORTION? DON'T HAVE ONE!

HE'S NOT A BUSH, HE'S A WEED!


----------



## Chronuss (Sep 25, 2003)

> Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
> *Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children. *



damn...this explains so friggin' much...:rofl:...but I personally think my parents had me so they didn't have to buy a dish washer...


----------



## Nightingale (Sep 26, 2003)

LOL


----------



## Chronuss (Sep 26, 2003)

...and you think I gest..:shrug:


----------



## Kroy (Sep 26, 2003)

"My other wife is a babe"shrug:  (not on my car, I saw it last month):


----------



## michaeledward (Sep 26, 2003)

Bush / Cheney '04 --  -- 4 More Wars

Bush / Cheney '04 --  -- Leave no Billionaire Behind


----------



## Cliarlaoch (Sep 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by michaeledward _
> *Bush / Cheney '04 --  -- 4 More Wars
> 
> Bush / Cheney '04 --  -- Leave no Billionaire Behind *



Ouch... My favourites remain the already mentioned "Keep honking, I'm reloaded."

Also,
"My delinquent is sleeping with your honour student."

"Get off the phone and drive!!!"


----------



## theletch1 (Oct 1, 2003)

I saw this one on I-77 in WVA last night.  It's a billboard for a motel chain.  It just struck me as wrong.  I think they should have spent the extra couple bucks for the word "and" instead of using the "/"....

KIDS EAT / STAY FREE


----------



## pknox (Oct 1, 2003)

One on the road last night in Central NJ...

AIKIDOKA DO IT BY TURNING AND ENTERING

It had "Aikido Schools of NJ" printed underneath it.

I just had to roll the window down and say Hi after that one!


----------



## Sarah (Jul 23, 2005)

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St Bernard coming in through the cat door"  -  _Jeff Foxworth _


----------



## shesulsa (Jul 23, 2005)

"W" ain't the Bush we need in office.

 Elect a woman - See what war is.


----------



## Makalakumu (Jul 23, 2005)

My personal fav...

"I'm a liberal and I told you so..."


----------



## DutchKenpo (Jul 23, 2005)

Hello,

Kenpoist do it with economy of motion.

and try name the man who said this:
When fighting, strike like lightning
hit like a bull
cover like a snake.

grtz,


----------



## DutchKenpo (Jul 23, 2005)

Hello,

To the guy who stole my bike, please take my paperroute to.

Cancellation of debts?, its imaginery money anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captian speaking, because its the birthday of our stewardess, we will be doing 20 loopings, thank you for your attention.

Hello to all people trying to swim upstream, please stay to the left.

I like climbing mountains, but sometimes I can't resist moving them
grtz,


----------

