# Cards Hallmark Doesn't Print



## KenpoTess (Sep 29, 2003)

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.



2. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry!



3. Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.



4. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder? What the hell was I thinking?



5. Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.



6. How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby?



7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ... I've changed my mind.



8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...I never believed in Hell till I met you.



9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...That you're not here to ruin it for me.



10. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ...Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.



11. Someday I hope to get married ...but not to you.



12. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!



13. When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.



14. We have been friends for a very long time...what say we stop?



15. I'm so miserable without you ...it's almost like you're here.



16. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?



17. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.



18. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *3. Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. *



Hmmm, I searched hi and low for a thank you and good luck card to the guy who was dating my wife while we were married.  I never did find one that was appropriate 

Thanks Tess


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## KenpoTess (Sep 30, 2003)

Hehee Yeah Rich.. if you really need something.. you never can find it.. *G*  

*thinking a  card line for exes would sell like wild fire~!!


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *Hehee Yeah Rich.. if you really need something.. you never can find it.. *G*
> 
> *thinking a  card line for exes would sell like wild fire~!! *




Actullay I was shopping for a Retirement card for my Dad and I saw some Divorce cards, basically annoucng you are divorced or sympathy for your divorce, so I think they are not far off


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## theletch1 (Oct 4, 2003)

Sympathy for a divorce?  Man, I did backflips when mine became final!


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## Rich Parsons (Oct 4, 2003)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *Sympathy for a divorce?  Man, I did backflips when mine became final! *




Well to be honest teh Sympathy one was more towards women, and that their life is not over but just beginning.

And yes I did flips and drank a beer and enjoyed the day I got the paperwork from the court telling me had been filed and nothing could change it


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## KenpoTess (Oct 5, 2003)

3 little words Rich..

Look......... Learn..... Listen (to yourself) *G*
that phrase in the () doesn't count as wordage


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## Rich Parsons (Oct 5, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *3 little words Rich..
> 
> Look......... Learn..... Listen (to yourself) *G*
> that phrase in the () doesn't count as wordage  *



Three little words:  I Love You, and I Love Myself

Thanks TESS!


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