# And the #1 reason Hollywood should slip into the sea...



## Cryozombie (Jul 18, 2006)

George Clooney will be Starring in the Upcoming Remake of The Seven Samurai.

Cuz we need more movies about Samurai starring Westerners as Samurai.  Especially remakes of classics.

Ive never crossed my fingers and hoped for a natural disaster before... but...


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## evenflow1121 (Jul 18, 2006)

Too bad though The Seven Samurai is a classic, its a shame Hollywood has run out of ideas and has to resort to this crap.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jul 18, 2006)

Oh lord!  How can they do something like this!

Brian R. VanCise
www.instinctiveresponsetraining.com


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 18, 2006)

Akira Kurosawa must be turning in his grave... That or laughing uncontrollably... George Clooneycome on THEY CANT BE SERIOUS!!!

Leave it to Hollywood to mess up a classic.

Why does this make me think about the movie John Wayne did where he played Genghis Khan?


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## Gemini (Jul 18, 2006)

And I thought reality TV was hitting the bottom. Leave it up to Hollywood to find new depths to sink to....


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## MA-Caver (Jul 18, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> Akira Kurosawa must be turning in his grave... That or laughing uncontrollably... George Clooneycome on THEY CANT BE SERIOUS!!!
> 
> Leave it to Hollywood to mess up a classic.
> 
> Why does this make me think about the movie John Wayne did where he played Genghis Khan?


Because that was another fine example of Hollywood trying to make a few bucks. Same with  Sidney Toler playing a chinese detective for those Charlie Chan flicks.
Or Chuck Conners playing an Apache indian in Geronimo (1962)

So why not Clooney as a japanese in a remake of 7 Samurai?  

Probably because someone is an idiot... 

Most likely the story line will be changed to where Clooney is a westerner VISITING Japan and gets caught up in helping the villagers... or probably a total re-write of the original script. Something else those oh-so-smart-people in hollywood like to do.


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## Swordlady (Jul 18, 2006)

George Clooney?  C'mon now...I'm sure there are more than enough Asian actors who could fit the bill.  Like my brother, for instance.  Eh...scratch that...he may be a *little* too short...


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## Lisa (Jul 18, 2006)

Remember how they tried to make Sean Connery "japanese" in one of the .007 movies?

Yeah....that was believeable.


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## Brother John (Jul 18, 2006)

We can only hope that he has a VERY minor role and winds up committing SEPPUKU in the first couple scenes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This was the Worst news I've had in a while!!!!
FIRST: "Hey...they're doing a modern version of the 7 Samurai !!!
artyon:
THEN:
"..And it'll be staring George Clooney!"

:uhyeah:
:mp5::supcool:

:2xBird2:




SHeeeeesh.......





Your Brother
John


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## Swordlady (Jul 18, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> Remember how they tried to make Sean Connery "japanese" in one of the .007 movies?
> 
> Yeah....that was believeable.



Yep...the movie was "You Only Live Twice".  Sean Connery looked as Japanese as...say, Paris Hilton in a black wig.    I watched it again during one of TNT's James Bond marathons last Christmas break.  I laughed my head off at the outrageous swordfighting scenes.


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## Hand Sword (Jul 18, 2006)

George Clooney? This can't be so! The 7 Samurai is a classic and should be left alone! This is totally unacceptable. Hollywood should try a story based of of that movie, not remake it, in their visions.

As Public Enemy put it, back in the day...BURN HOLLYWOOD! BURN!


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## MA-Caver (Jul 19, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> Remember how they tried to make Sean Connery "japanese" in one of the .007 movies?
> 
> Yeah....that was believeable.


Well remember that he was an Scotsman pretending to be an Englishman PRETENDING to be Japanese. It was Tiger Tiger Tanaka's idea anyway. Ergo... it was in the script and in the novel by Ian Flemming.


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## CTKempo Todd (Jul 19, 2006)

Guys..this is easy..Don't go see it..

Way 2 quick to cast stones..relax, open your mind and see what comes of it..


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## Gemini (Jul 19, 2006)

CTKempo Todd said:
			
		

> Guys..this is easy..Don't go see it..


 
:uhoh: You mean like..."Don't see it???" Of course we'll have to see it. Maybe not at the theater, but we won't be able to rip it to shreds...er..I mean, critique it if we don't see it. 



			
				CTKempo Todd said:
			
		

> Way 2 quick to cast stones..relax, open your mind and see what comes of it..


You're right. That way, we'll be well prepped for the remake of "Enter The dragon". :wink2:


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## rutherford (Jul 19, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> Why does this make me think about the movie John Wayne did where he played Genghis Khan?


 
Maybe you're hoping that this will be a remake of Seven Samurai the same way as The Magnificent Seven.  Homage to the original, but fitting for the actors involved.

But, you don't actually have any hope.  So instead you're remembering a different movie.


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## Blindside (Jul 19, 2006)

rutherford said:
			
		

> Maybe you're hoping that this will be a remake of Seven Samurai the same way as The Magnificent Seven. Homage to the original, but fitting for the actors involved.
> 
> But, you don't actually have any hope. So instead you're remembering a different movie.


 
Magnificent Seven?  I'm expecting something around the quality of "Battle Beyond the Stars" the sci-fi reimagining of Seven Samurai.  

Personally, I think they could have waited to make a new version of Seven Samurai until after they rede Casablanca, I mean that movie is OLD, we've got to make it hip again.  

Leave the classics alone.

Lamont


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## Fu_Bag (Sep 23, 2006)

I'm a little unsure of how effective George's famous Eyebrow Acting is going to translate when he's in full battle armor. Are you sure it was a remake of Seven Samurai and not Seven Dwarfs? 

OK. So, Seven Samurai. We know that one will be Ole' Eyebrows. My guesses for the remaining six are:

From the cast of Friends:

Ross
Chandler
Rachael's boss from the coffee shop


Others:

John Cleese
The dude known as "Mr. Bean"
William Shatner
David Hasselhoff
Danny Devito
Jackie Chan
Chris Rock
Jay and Silent Bob
Martin Short
Steve Martin
Billy Crystal
Robin Williams
Pat


Maybe have what's her face from Kill Bill consult on all of the sword work.
That should wrap things up nicely...... 

Anyone else have suggestions?


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## Drac (Sep 23, 2006)

Technopunk said:


> George Clooney will be Starring in the Upcoming Remake of The Seven Samurai.
> 
> Cuz we need more movies about Samurai starring Westerners as Samurai. Especially remakes of classics.
> 
> Ive never crossed my fingers and hoped for a natural disaster before... but...


 
I believe I'm gonna be ill...


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## Fu_Bag (Sep 23, 2006)

Drac said:


> I believe I'm gonna be ill...


 
LOL!!!  Me Too!!!  Isn't it great???!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe anyone was willing to finance the thing in the first place!


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## zDom (Sep 23, 2006)

Don't go dissing Jay and Silent Bob on me, now.

I'm sure they would make fine samurai.


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## Fu_Bag (Sep 23, 2006)

zDom said:


> Don't go dissing Jay and Silent Bob on me, now.
> 
> I'm sure they would make fine samurai.


 
I agree!!  I was actually thinking about them from Dogma.  Another great potential samurai would be Joe Pesci.  Did you see the way he jumped that guy in My Cousin Vinny?  He'd probably keep Ole' Eyebrows honest too!!


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## wee_blondie (Sep 24, 2006)

George Clooney??  Seriously????????????

Man, that would be like having John Candy playing Sonny Chiba's role in Shogun's Ninja.

What next?  Maybe they'll do an animated version?

Or maybe its a test for the viewing audience (in the voice of a hollywood producer) "how dumb are these people - we'll remake a classic and royally screw it up and they'll still pay to see it!"

On second thought - no they're not that clever  :shrug:


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## Nomad (Sep 25, 2006)

Hand Sword said:


> George Clooney? This can't be so! The 7 Samurai is a classic and should be left alone! This is totally unacceptable. Hollywood should try a story based of of that movie, not remake it, in their visions.
> 
> As Public Enemy put it, back in the day...BURN HOLLYWOOD! BURN!


 
But he was so good as Batman, how could he possibly screw this one up?


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## Nomad (Sep 25, 2006)

Gemini said:


> You're right. That way, we'll be well prepped for the remake of "Enter The dragon". :wink2:


 
... I wonder whether they'll go for Owen Wilson or Jim Carrey on that one?


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## CoryKS (Sep 25, 2006)

Well, I just think it's nice that Mr. Clooney could find time enough to star in a remake of this Japanese classic, what with his busy schedule of complaining about American arrogance and cultural imperialism and all.


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