# Loss of confidence!



## xanax (Jan 7, 2013)

Hello,

I would appreciate all thoughts and ideas on my current mental state.

I started out with martial-arts when I was a kid, with about 15 years of experience, whereof 7 years muay thai, and 3 years living permanently in thailand to train and occasional competition.

A few years ago I lost my self-esteem and physique. I have regained my physique but my confidence is lost. I feel smaller than others, weaker when I know I'm not. 

The dangerous thing is that I believe I project this weakness. Only a few weeks ago a rather nasty facially tattooed guy pulled me down practically from behind and started kicking me like a football. This would never have happened before, infact it never has. Maybe my semi-pacifist mindset has made me more diplomatic and nice to people I meet, and people see that as a sign of weakness? Why am I suddenly feeling so afraid of everybody and all physical conflict?

I've looked into maybe doing some more practical training à la krav maga or such. But it seems simplistic compared to all the prior training I've had, and where I live there are restrictions in learning proper "agressive" self-defense. 

Any thoughts on what I should do? I have been giving serious thought lately in going up in a bare-knuckle-fight simply to prove something to myself, perhaps that all those years of training and fighting wasn't just an illusion.

I can add that I am not agressive by nature and haven't sought out a brawl since I was younger and more cocky and dumb.

Happy New Year.


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## Dirty Dog (Jan 7, 2013)

There's only one real answer here. You need a therapist, not a trainer, and certainly not a fight.


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## Cyriacus (Jan 7, 2013)

Hi.



xanax said:


> Hello,
> 
> I would appreciate all thoughts and ideas on my current mental state.



Sure.



> I started out with martial-arts when I was a kid, with about 15 years of experience, whereof 7 years muay thai, and 3 years living permanently in thailand to train and occasional competition.
> 
> A few years ago I lost my self-esteem and physique. I have regained my physique but my confidence is lost. I feel smaller than others, weaker when I know I'm not.
> 
> The dangerous thing is that I believe I project this weakness. Only a few weeks ago a rather nasty facially tattooed guy pulled me down practically from behind and started kicking me like a football. This would never have happened before, infact it never has. Maybe my semi-pacifist mindset has made me more diplomatic and nice to people I meet, and people see that as a sign of weakness? Why am I suddenly feeling so afraid of everybody and all physical conflict?



So, did you go to the police? Or do people just kinda go around kicking people like footballs where you live? If youre afraid of people, sure, youll project fear. But its overconfidence thatll get you into fights.



> I've looked into maybe doing some more practical training à la krav maga or such. But it seems simplistic compared to all the prior training I've had, and where I live there are restrictions in learning proper "agressive" self-defense.



There is no such thing as learning aggressive self defense. Aggressive self defense is something you do. Practicing it in a gym is nothing more than that.



> Any thoughts on what I should do? I have been giving serious thought lately in going up in a bare-knuckle-fight simply to prove something to myself, perhaps that all those years of training and fighting wasn't just an illusion.



Years of training arent going to make you able to 'prove yourself'. If youre afraid of these people, good. You should be. Be afraid of someone who wants to hurt you. Try and prove something and youre giving them an excuse. Its easy to forget that wild hooks actually work. Its the wild haymakers thatre dumb, and ive never personally seen someone throw one. Let alone everything else people who havent spent years practicing codified systems can do to you.

[/quote]
I can add that I am not agressive by nature and haven't sought out a brawl since I was younger and more cocky and dumb.

Happy New Year.[/QUOTE]

Like the other gent said. Get a therapist.


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## xanax (Jan 7, 2013)

Alright, therapy, fine, a lot of us could use it at some point. I don't disagree. But "therapy" wasn't the exact reflections I was looking for. People here must have their own experiences of loss of faith in abilities and loss of bar fights? And the subsequent mental state?

Aggressive self-defense I mean in the sense that for some odd reason they can't teach pre-emptive strikes here.... although for some clueless reason you do learn it in boxing/muay-thai. I mean the training that you do, is not realistic. And it rarely prepares you for real fighting. I'm not gonna start a feud here about which styles or not are better, but the hardest fighters i've seen on the street have no training and are simply filled with aggression...something which is very hard to defend oneself against.

I don't mean that I try to prove myself by provoking a fight. I rather meant that sometimes it is necessary to do things to convince oneself that one is still good...is still strong...is still able. I think everybody does it at some point, to prove some worth of talent whether at work or training.

I think rather that way too many martial artists out there have an illusion of their abilities, and they never really get to see what their true abilities are. Sooner or later an illusion of ability will strike back at you.

And no, no point in involving the police in such small matters here. And yes, people really do fight a lot here. Every weekend is a chance for an unprovoked fight. But is the answer really to just flee and move?


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## ballen0351 (Jan 7, 2013)

xanax said:


> . But is the answer really to just flee and move?



Yep.  If you live in a place where strangers walk up throw people on the ground and then kick them repeatedly for no reason then yep I suggest you move.  

As for the rest of your post what do you want us to tell you.  You come to an internet site looking for advice about making you more confident?  Your names is xanex so your  either a troll or already in the therapy


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## xanax (Jan 7, 2013)

Yes, well my country is like that.... can't change my country.

Well, maybe not confidence per se, rather your reflections on what i mentioned. "xanax". It is not general confidence im asking about, I'm talking about over a decade of heavy training in martial-arts and then bit by bit realizing that no training in MA can do anything for self-defense apart from the illusion of it. I rather prefer some eloquent replies...and not about trolls. This is more about the psychology about the people practicing martial-arts and real life.


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## ballen0351 (Jan 7, 2013)

xanax said:


> Yes, well my country is like that.... can't change my country.
> 
> Well, maybe not confidence per se, rather your reflections on what i mentioned. "xanax". It is not general confidence im asking about, I'm talking about over a decade of heavy training in martial-arts and then bit by bit realizing that no training in MA can do anything for self-defense apart from the illusion of it. I rather prefer some eloquent replies...and not about trolls. This is more about the psychology about the people practicing martial-arts and real life.



So you come to a martial arts forum to talk about why martial arts won't work for self defense?  Maybe I'm not reading  that right.


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## geezer (Jan 7, 2013)

ballen0351 said:


> So you come to a martial arts forum to talk about why martial arts won't work for self defense? Maybe I'm not reading that right.



Well, to a certain extent he's right about using martial arts in the sense of _fighting_ not always working out so well. 

_Avoidance_ is usually a better solution than fighting... especially if you are fighting facially tatooed thugs who have a lot of friends, and may be armed as well. Of course martial arts training for self defense should encompass more than fighting...There's a lot to know about being mentally aware, learning to recognize threats and avoiding them, using body language and "verbal jujutsu" to de-escalate a potential conflict, and of course the ever useful art of running away!  Maybe he should check out stuff by folks like Geoff Thompson? I found him very useful.


BTW, _Xanax_ what country are you from? Can you give us a little more background to help us understand your situation?


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## Kaygee (Jan 7, 2013)

All of a sudden I am looking like a good forum member, aren't I?


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## xanax (Jan 7, 2013)

Avoidance always works to a certain extent. But I'm sorry I don't want online warriors to post. Rather martial artists who've had their asses kicked! I have no idea where everybody here living.... but we have to accept fights all the time!

And no,  MA dont work for self-defense. I can't see how any MA is useful beyond SF.


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## ballen0351 (Jan 7, 2013)

xanax said:


> Avoidance always works to a certain extent. But I'm sorry I don't want online warriors to post. Rather martial artists who've had their asses kicked! I have no idea where everybody here living.... but we have to accept fights all the time!
> 
> And no,  MA dont work for self-defense. I can't see how any MA is useful beyond SF.




So then you are here on a MA forum to talk about MA not working for self defense.  So in your opinion what is the point of learning martial arts and what is good for defense?


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## xanax (Jan 8, 2013)

Sorry, I meant to say that MA isn't useful for SF....

Anyway, avoidance is the best strategy, but how can you honestly say proudly that you practice a combat sport without being able to perform in true combat? I have way too many years of experience to see way too many martial artists who have no idea what real combat is. 

G. Thompson! I actually thought of him the other night. And do you know why he started as a bouncer and fighter? To prove to himself that he could ! He got his *** kicked and his wife talked down to him, so he became a bouncer to prove himself a man. True story.

I worked as a bouncer aswell a few years ago, stood up against Hells Angels cause it was a biker bar. But these days I am a shadow of my former self.

"So you come to a martial arts forum to talk about why martial arts won't work for self defense? Maybe I'm not reading that right."

Well, it is never that simple. For sure "martial arts" can work for self defense if you use it properly. I am rather talking about the illusions that we all have about being fighters. Whether you are meat head in the octagon or a karate-ka.... it usually just boils down to the same old things. My main point: aggression.

My country? You wouldn't even believe me if I told you, it is more violent than your ABBA dreams....Sweden.


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## ballen0351 (Jan 8, 2013)

xanax said:


> Sorry, I meant to say that MA isn't useful for SF....
> 
> Anyway, avoidance is the best strategy, but how can you honestly say proudly that you practice a combat sport without being able to perform in true combat? I have way too many years of experience to see way too many martial artists who have no idea what real combat is.
> 
> ...



So what is good for self defense?  In you opinion with all these years of training all over the world what will work?  

My answer is that is has nothing to do with the art.  Any art will work if applied properly its up to the individual.  Is the person prepared to fight.  Like I said in another thread you don't need MA at all to fight my 3 year old can fight, he knows how to hit kick bite scratch he does it to his older brother all the time.  So defending yourself is natural.  Learning proper way to lunch and kick only serves to make you more effective and less likely to injure yourself.  Learning things to add to your natural ability like elbows and knees which aren't natural in my opinion but can be very effective only help.
You got you butt kick and now question what you learned.  OK Boo Hoo it happens.  Suck it up go train harder or give up choice is yours but to say MA won't work because you got jumped from behind and stomped in the head hell that could happen to anyone.  Next time sit in places where your back is against the wall and the only way someone can come at you is from the front or side.  That's not MA that's common sense when dealing with self defense.  The first step is being aware of who and what's around you.  If you frequent bars where tattooed faced thugs are common pick a new bar or don't go out to bars or if you do stay sober and avoid tattooed faced people.  Its simple really has nothing tondo with how many years of MA training you have.


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## xanax (Jan 8, 2013)

Self defense? Being aggressive....bringing out the beast within. No need for training.

For sure I must say that my time training with Wing Tsun left more memories concerning self defense than any other art. But it does not matter what art you practice, just like you say. I agree completely! We all have a human instinct to use our hands to fight. Like bruce lee said, we only have two arms and two legs.

"boo hoo" ?? No no no, don't get me wrong, I don't give a crap about the actual physical beating (hence no police)... if you can't take a beating then you shouldn't call yourself a martial artist.

I am here to talk about the psychological side of fighting and martial arts....the point where they both cross. 

I started MA as a kid cause I was highly fascinated by asian culture, which is also why I moved to asia. I always thought of MA as a way of personal development. But when I saw that MA doesn't provide the combat side, well....then it is no longer "martial". 

avoid bad places and ****ed up people? very true and sound advice. very true. But you see, you can't really avoid the gangs here.... do I want to stop going to bars? No.


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## geezer (Jan 8, 2013)

Xanax, I think you are right about what you call "agression", or a "fighters mentality" being essential to making anything work. You mentioned Wing Tsun. I spent some time in that system. The same technique that might get your's or my backside royally kicked worked great when someone like Emin applied it. But if you know Emin, you know he's aggressive as all hell. And that made all the difference. 

I also trained under Rene Latosa. He made exactly the same point. If you don't have that controlled and focused agression, it doesn't matter what you do. MA could be viewed like any other weapon. Even a gun won't work if you can't aim it and pull the trigger.

Remember it isn't about your physique. Besides, eventually we all get old and lose strength and speed. No, it's about what you carry inside you that's most important. So I wish you luck in your personal struggle.


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## xanax (Jan 8, 2013)

Ahhh, how funny you mention Emin. I had a conversation not long ago about him. My instructor in WT invited him in for a workshop. Well..Emin is Emin.... If anyone from europe here might remember, Emin and his group went around to karate dojos and places and challenged the instructors to fight. In the martial spirit most said yes and got their asses kicked. This is very chinese style. Not nice, but still part of MA.
However, let's take Emin as an example. He is a turkish guy growing up in germany brawling! He found WT and became a brutal fighter. But ! He is not typical WT. He is a person with alot of aggression! A person that likes to fight! A person that likes to challenge!


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Jan 8, 2013)

And yet, even an aggressive person will get beat by a surprise attack, which (I find) more likely since I believe that aggressiveness, if anything, lowers your level of awareness unless you were trained to be aware when being aggressive. So learn a martial art that teaches you that awareness to solve the problem, but don't just bash martial artists in general.


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## Cyriacus (Jan 8, 2013)

xanax said:


> Alright, therapy, fine, a lot of us could use it at some point. I don't disagree. But "therapy" wasn't the exact reflections I was looking for. People here must have their own experiences of loss of faith in abilities and loss of bar fights? And the subsequent mental state?



What you want and what you get arent always the same. Some people who get assaulted in bars and get the crap beaten out of them get PTSD. I kid you not. And im talking afraid to leave the house PTSD. If you have faith in your abilities to win, youre overconfident.



> Aggressive self-defense I mean in the sense that for some odd reason they can't teach pre-emptive strikes here.... although for some clueless reason you do learn it in boxing/muay-thai. I mean the training that you do, is not realistic. And it rarely prepares you for real fighting. I'm not gonna start a feud here about which styles or not are better, but the hardest fighters i've seen on the street have no training and are simply filled with aggression...something which is very hard to defend oneself against.


Yes, but what i mean is, they might not teach it, but that doesnt mean you cant do it. Heres a pre emptive strike: Punch him in the head. BOOM! Aggressive self defense training.
Also, Boxing and Muay Thai are about hitting each other. Are you saying fighting isnt about hitting the other person? If youre predisposed to punching, you get good at it. If youre predisposed to grappling, you get good at that.



> I don't mean that I try to prove myself by provoking a fight. I rather meant that sometimes it is necessary to do things to convince oneself that one is still good...is still strong...is still able. I think everybody does it at some point, to prove some worth of talent whether at work or training.



Yeah, then when you go in there to prove something to yourself, and get your face messed up, youll end up blaming THEM for it.



> I think rather that way too many martial artists out there have an illusion of their abilities, and they never really get to see what their true abilities are. Sooner or later an illusion of ability will strike back at you.



Yeah, but heres the thing. Alot of beginners in martial arts think, for example, they wont throw big wide haymakers in a fight. Ok, maybe they wont. But what makes them so special that some roughneck who does get into fights hasnt figured that out for themself, possibly without even needing to have been in any fights? People arent stupid. Even so, big wide haymakers actually work from close range, and tend to be best defended by doing anything but try to block it.

[/quote]
And no, no point in involving the police in such small matters here. And yes, people really do fight a lot here. Every weekend is a chance for an unprovoked fight. But is the answer really to just flee and move?[/QUOTE]
Yes. The answer is to flee and move. So being violently assaulted is only a small matter? Yeah, ok. I believe that you arent fishing for a different answer.


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## DennisBreene (Jan 9, 2013)

We can all imagine a situation where we are likely to win (or lose) in a fight. I don't see that as an afirmation of my self worth. It is perfectly possible to view myself as a man without seeking out a conflict to prove it. Saying that you can't avoid a fight appears to me to be a straw man argument; you choose not to avoid situations of conflict. If you truly face your motives, you may find that you can avoid conflict and still feel whole.  Pesonally I don't expect martial arts to be my salvation. I am confident that I can fight better than I would be able to without the training, but I am not a combat veteran or a professional fighter and I don't expect to perform as well as someone with that experience might. I choose situations that don't bring me to the edge of conflict and if you can do that in the US, I suspect you can do it elsewhere.


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## oftheherd1 (Jan 15, 2013)

Honestly, I am still not sure what you are after.  

Do you want us to tell you that MA aren't any good?  I could do that but it isn't what I believe.  Do you want someone to say Shazam! and turn you into a respected MA that everybody treats with respect.  That's not going to happen either.

Do you seriously want answers on how to get your confidence back?  That's a tough one.  Especially when you haven't given us any clues as to what caused you to lose your confidence.  Not sure anyone but yourself can, but without some clue what caused you loss of self confidence, it is very difficult if not impossible.  Care to enlighten us?

I am also curious why you use the name Xanax?  Are you currently undergoing treatment from a Psychologist or Psychaitrist?  Are you taking some type of anti-depressant like Xanax?  Is that when you noticed your lack of confidence?

I am inclinded to add to the advice not to just engage in a fight to see if you can gain confidence by beating some one up.  From the way you sound, I think that would do you more harm than good.  But perhaps some monitored and controlled sparring matches might.  If you do, just keep yourself under control like a good martial artist should.


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## Dirty Dog (Jan 15, 2013)

oftheherd1 said:


> Honestly, I am still not sure what you are after.
> 
> Do you want us to tell you that MA aren't any good?  I could do that but it isn't what I believe.  Do you want someone to say Shazam! and turn you into a respected MA that everybody treats with respect.  That's not going to happen either.
> 
> ...



Xanax is not an antidepressant and shouldn't be used as such. It's a sedative/hypnotic and is used to treat agitation states. It's also very addictive and is one of those drugs that makes me cringe when I hear that people are taking it on anythinig like a regular basis.


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## Kung Fu Wang (Jan 15, 2013)

xanax said:


> Why am I suddenly feeling so afraid of everybody and all physical conflict?



Try to compete in tournaments or just do more sparring/wrestling. The day that you can put your opponents in defense mode, the day that your problem will be gone.


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## DennisBreene (Jan 15, 2013)

Dirty Dog said:


> Xanax is not an antidepressant and shouldn't be used as such. It's a sedative/hypnotic and is used to treat agitation states. It's also very addictive and is one of those drugs that makes me cringe when I hear that people are taking it on anythinig like a regular basis.



While I understand your concern; there are chronic anxiety disorders that are neurochemical and not specifically related to situational issues.  If untreated, these disorders can seriously disrupt one's wellbeing and one's life.  They also can lead inexorably to depression, which has a 10% mortality from suicide.  I strongly recommend that decisions as to the advisability of long term pharmicotherapy be left up to qualified psychiatrists.  While all of us have expertise in some things, we don't know an indiviuals issues well enough to have an informed opinion about their therapy unless we are the prescribing physician.


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## Dirty Dog (Jan 15, 2013)

DennisBreene said:


> While I understand your concern; there are chronic anxiety disorders that are neurochemical and not specifically related to situational issues.  If untreated, these disorders can seriously disrupt one's wellbeing and one's life.  They also can lead inexorably to depression, which has a 10% mortality from suicide.  I strongly recommend that decisions as to the advisability of long term pharmicotherapy be left up to qualified psychiatrists.  While all of us have expertise in some things, we don't know an indiviuals issues well enough to have an informed opinion about their therapy unless we are the prescribing physician.



Certainly, however in most cases there are alternatives available that lack the addiction and abuse issues of Xanax. All too often, drugs like this are given long term without exploring those other options, and all too often they're being used to treat problems that are more of a somatization. Rooting out the causes and treating THEM, as opposed to throwing drugs at the symptoms, takes a huge investment in time that most (on both sides of the desk) are unable and/or unwilling to invest.
Drugs like Xanax are excellent choices for short term bandaids while underlying issues are dealt with, but in many cases, they simply mask the problem while doing nothing at all to help resolve it.


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## DennisBreene (Jan 15, 2013)

Dirty Dog said:


> Certainly, however in most cases there are alternatives available that lack the addiction and abuse issues of Xanax. All too often, drugs like this are given long term without exploring those other options, and all too often they're being used to treat problems that are more of a somatization. Rooting out the causes and treating THEM, as opposed to throwing drugs at the symptoms, takes a huge investment in time that most (on both sides of the desk) are unable and/or unwilling to invest.
> Drugs like Xanax are excellent choices for short term bandaids while underlying issues are dealt with, but in many cases, they simply mask the problem while doing nothing at all to help resolve it.



I think we may have to agree to disagree on this one .  I stand by my previous statement.  Many of the chronic neuropsychiatric disorders are what used to be referred to as endogenous.  They arise from neurochemical disruption, are often associated with a family history of similar disorders and presumably have a strong genetic link.  The problems such disorders create in one's life are more often secondary to the biology, not the other way around.  Intervention is predicated on reestablishing more functional neurotransmitter levels and talk therapy is most helpful in assisting the patient in achieving or reachieving relationships and behavioral approaches that are functional.  Achieving such life goals is less successful and more difficult if the neurochemical house is not in order.  Many established psychiatrists would likely recommend valium for chronic anxiety disorders as once or twice daily dosing is possible and leads to smoother blood levels and a more consistant response.  I am a little concerned that judgements about what specific therapies are appropriate for specific individuals when we are not specialists in psychiatry and are not privey to the details of an individuals case can undermine confidence in treatment.


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## Dirty Dog (Jan 15, 2013)

DennisBreene said:


> I think we may have to agree to disagree on this one .  I stand by my previous statement.  Many of the chronic neuropsychiatric disorders are what used to be referred to as endogenous.  They arise from neurochemical disruption, are often associated with a family history of similar disorders and presumably have a strong genetic link.  The problems such disorders create in one's life are more often secondary to the biology, not the other way around.  Intervention is predicated on reestablishing more functional neurotransmitter levels and talk therapy is most helpful in assisting the patient in achieving or reachieving relationships and behavioral approaches that are functional.  Achieving such life goals is less successful and more difficult if the neurochemical house is not in order.  Many established psychiatrists would likely recommend valium for chronic anxiety disorders as once or twice daily dosing is possible and leads to smoother blood levels and a more consistant response.  I am a little concerned that judgements about what specific therapies are appropriate for specific individuals when we are not specialists in psychiatry and are not privey to the details of an individuals case can undermine confidence in treatment.



Dennis, you seem to think I am saying that Xanax is EVIL and Must Be Destroyed or something. I'm not. I'm actually very aware of LOTS of psychiatric issues, since I deal with them every single day. 
What I am saying is very simple. Xanax is often used to treat symptoms rather than problems. Even in the case of a neurochemical imbalance, it does nothing to correct the imbalance; it merely masks the symptoms. In some cases, it's used because right now it's the best we can do. In those cases, what we NEED is more effective treatments that address the actual problem, not merely mask symptoms. In many other cases, where actual problems could possibly be addressed, it's still used simply because it's easier than investing the huge amount of time and money that would be required to address the actual problem.
Xanax has a place in modern medicine, but that place is not nearly as big as the one it's currently occupying.


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## DennisBreene (Jan 15, 2013)

Dirty Dog said:


> Dennis, you seem to think I am saying that Xanax is EVIL and Must Be Destroyed or something. I'm not. I'm actually very aware of LOTS of psychiatric issues, since I deal with them every single day.
> What I am saying is very simple. Xanax is often used to treat symptoms rather than problems. Even in the case of a neurochemical imbalance, it does nothing to correct the imbalance; it merely masks the symptoms. In some cases, it's used because right now it's the best we can do. In those cases, what we NEED is more effective treatments that address the actual problem, not merely mask symptoms. In many other cases, where actual problems could possibly be addressed, it's still used simply because it's easier than investing the huge amount of time and money that would be required to address the actual problem.
> Xanax has a place in modern medicine, but that place is not nearly as big as the one it's currently occupying.



Mark,
Of course I'm very aware that you are familiar with these drugs and the patients who need them.  I'll admit I am guilty of playing devils advocate to a certain degree.  Anxiolytics aren't as targeted as SSRI's etc. but for now they are all we have for front line treatment of very debilitating anxiety disorders.  I'm sure we're both aware of improper use among practioners who don't understand the meds or the conditions.  I am concerned that non-medical people are given the impression that there are no significant reasons for the use of these medications in patients with chronic diseases. In those cases these meds are more than a bandaid and can be crucial in controlling symptoms and allowing patients to function. In these cases, the root of the problem is not behavioral or situational and I would like to see these syndromes accorded the concern and respect that non psyciatric disorders are afforded.  People need to know that individuals with such disorders cannot "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" or be analyzed into self awareness and recovery, but they can lead very normal and productive lives with the assistance of medication.  I'm sure you are aware of this. I'm simply taking the opportunity to advocate aggressively for awareness and parity when it comes to mental health issues.  I apologise for putting this on center stage for so long and I'll drop the issue for the common good. Thanks for the open debate though, it's a pleasure sparring with you.


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## GaryR (Mar 17, 2013)

xanax said:
			
		

> But when I saw that MA doesn't provide the combat side, well....then it is no longer "martial



Did you have an experience recently when your MA failed you?  I didn't see a story regarding this...

MA does provide a combat side, if this is not true for you, find another teacher.  It is just about HOW you train as it is about what you train.  Sparring alone isn't good enough, you need to find a school that does Adrenal stress response training.  Doing the right scenario training will help your confidence. 

I have seen many dissillusioned martial artists.  Most of which is after a training session and I demonstrate how what they are doing is crap.  Seeing 20+ years of training in someone be crushed in moments over and over in a short period is bad, but necessary if the illusion is to be broken.  The recovery is helped by changing up your training, style, etc.  It helped these people to wipe their minds of the past, and move forward, nothing can change what has happened to you, or what training you have lacked, all you can do is press and be positive.   

You also need therapy and a psychiatrist to look into medications, SSRI's etc.  Regardless of causation, sometimes even a temporary fix of SSRI's can bring you out if it.  

Also you can try to find something non-MA related to boost you up.  Something you are good at, be it music or whatever.  

Try reading a book, Anthony Robbins has a book called Ultimate Power.  This can teach you how to get your mind into a more positive and confident state.  

Good luck to you.  Just don't give up!

G


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Mar 17, 2013)

GaryR said:


> Did you have an experience recently when your MA failed you?  I didn't see a story regarding this...
> 
> MA does provide a combat side, if this is not true for you, find another teacher.  It is just about HOW you train as it is about what you train.  Sparring alone isn't good enough, you need to find a school that does Adrenal stress response training.  Doing the right scenario training will help your confidence.
> 
> ...


Not sure if this reply was specifically for xanax, or for anyone who has been 'disillusioned', but if the intent was for Xanax, he's not on this site anymore. Hasn't posted in over 2 months, and his account is suspended/under review.


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## GaryR (Mar 18, 2013)

kempodisciple said:


> Not sure if this reply was specifically for xanax, or for anyone who has been 'disillusioned', but if the intent was for Xanax, he's not on this site anymore. Hasn't posted in over 2 months, and his account is suspended/under review.



Yeah, it was for Xanax, me quoting him directly before the response should have been your clue. I didn't read the rest of the thread, was responding to the OP, thanks for the info, hope the guy is ok.


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Mar 18, 2013)

GaryR said:


> Yeah, it was for Xanax, me quoting him directly before the response should have been your clue. I didn't read the rest of the thread, was responding to the OP, thanks for the info, hope the guy is ok.


Well, sometimes post something for one person, with the intent that all should read it :uhyeah:


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## GaryR (Mar 18, 2013)

kempodisciple said:


> Well, sometimes post something for one person, with the intent that all should read it :uhyeah:



Lol, sure.  It's good advice and holds true regardless of who reads it.  I for one do not normally read an entire thread before posting a response. 

 Perhaps I should start a thread on "disillusionment"?  But in and of itself the thread would just get more resistance then it would do any good.  Here we (had) and poster struggling with such an issue, most (to whom it applies) will deny it exists and be completely oblivious.  Admittance is the first step to recovery, without it, nobody can be helped!

G


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