# 213 things Skippy can't do



## Baytor (Sep 30, 2004)

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

As the list is 213 items, I decided to only post the link and the first 10 items on the list.  It is a list of things that a US soldier (Skippy) serving in Bosnia was told he couldn't do.  
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia". [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6. Not allowed to play Pulp Fiction with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7. Not allowed to add In accordance with the prophesy to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9. Not allowed to title any product Get Over it. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time. [/font]


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## Bob Hubbard (Sep 30, 2004)

:rofl:


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## Tgace (Sep 30, 2004)

Thats a frickin riot!!!! I especially liked...

29. The Irish MPs are not after Me frosted lucky charms. 

AND

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

AND

136. Shouting Lets do the village! Lets do the whole f*****g village! while out on a mission is bad.

Heck I love em all!!!


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## Cryozombie (Sep 30, 2004)

> 212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.


Why, oh WHY, does that SOUND like the army?

Oh yeah...

Cuz it IS.


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## Tgace (Sep 30, 2004)

Dont miss this section of that site...
http://www.skippyslist.com/skippyfriends.html

Heres one for upnorth 

48. "Pax Americana" is not a proper slogan for any deployment OCONUS.


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## KenpoTex (Oct 1, 2004)

LMAO! very nice



> 20. Must not taunt the French any more.


 Why not?



> 22. Must never call an SAS a Wanker.


 Suicidal...but still funny.



> 53. Not allowed to quote Full Metal Jacket  at the rifle range.


 Awwww, come on.



> 110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.


 DUH!



> 200. My chain of command is not interested in why I just happen to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.


 I don't even wanna know!


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