# alcohol warnings



## KenpoTess (Jul 29, 2003)

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ***** 

WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode. ***** 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to take home to bed someone who is A LOT uglier the next morning.


(* Added in Lines so I could read it easier , sorry Tess RP *)


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## Kirk (Jul 29, 2003)

LOL!!!

I would modify this one:



> ***** WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.



***** 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think 
you can sing REALLY well, and want to share you gift with 
everyone present.

But umm.. that's never been me  


I think they should put pictures of missing children on beer bottles
and cans.  That way a bunch of guys would get drunk, and go,
"Awww, that poor missing child!  ......   Let's go look for him!


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## Cryozombie (Jul 29, 2003)

****WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.****

So?  I think that when I am sober...


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## Ender (Jul 29, 2003)

I wonder what did ever happen to my bra and panties...*L


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## theletch1 (Jul 30, 2003)

> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties





> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. *****





> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. *****



Don't all of these kinda go together?:rofl:


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## Seig (Jul 31, 2003)

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wonder why the hell you are soo broke when you jusy got paid yesterday.


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## IsshinryuKarateGirl (Aug 15, 2003)

Haha, those were great.

****Warning!  The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think you can drive better than most of the drivers in any motorsport.


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