# Single vs. Married



## Jade Tigress (Jan 15, 2009)

_Sipping her drink, the *single* girl   leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my   boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat.  When all the other   people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice,   black stockings and stiletto heels.  He was so aroused that we made   passionate love on his desk right then and there!" _​ _The *engaged* woman   giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story!  When my fiance got   home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather   bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps.  He was so turned on that we not   only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!" _​ 

_ The *married* woman put her glass down   and said, "I did a lot of planning.  I made arrangements for the   kids to stay over at Grandma's.  I took a long scented-oil bath and then   put on my best perfume.  I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black   garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos._​ 

_I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home   from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey,   Batman,_ _what's for dinner?' _​


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

Well there's really nothing I can say about the matter that the Stooges didn't say better 70 years ago:

LARRY( making conversation while screwing up giving someone a haircut): "Are you married or happy?"


----------



## tellner (Jan 15, 2009)

There was a remote Army checkpoint on the way to an Arctic base. It had one guard on a monthly rotation, a young woman as it happened.

One night as the snow was coming down a truck drove up. The driver decided not to push it and stopped for the night and bedded down in his cab. The weather got colder, so the guard invited him in and offered to share the single cot. 

"Would you like to sleep 'single' or 'married'?" he asked.

"Married sounds fun," she replied.

"Suit yourself," he said, flopped over and went to sleep.


----------



## Brian R. VanCise (Jan 15, 2009)

:rofl:


----------



## Xue Sheng (Jan 15, 2009)

:lol:


----------



## celtic_crippler (Jan 15, 2009)

...it's gonna be a long, "Dark Knight" in the dog house. LOL


----------



## MA-Caver (Jan 15, 2009)

. uhh yeah...


----------



## Brian King (Jan 15, 2009)

I have heard that marriage is a three ring circus

Engagement ring

Wedding ring

Suffering 

Regards
Brian King


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

Not for no reason are all the road hazard warning signs DIAMOND shaped......


----------



## Carol (Jan 15, 2009)

If you want to know the _real _reason why married women tend to be heavier than single women...

Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.


----------



## Aefibird (Jan 15, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> If you want to know the _real _reason why married women tend to be heavier than single women...
> 
> Single women come home, and after seeing what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.
> 
> Married women come home, and after seeing what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.




Love it! :lfao:


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

Now remember: Marriage is a commitment, and an institution.



And who the **** wants to be committed to an institution?


----------



## theletch1 (Jan 15, 2009)

I suppose, since I'm very happily married I should just sit here, remember my ex wife for a moment and ... laugh my *** off! :lfao:


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

If you are truly happily married then I must congratulate you on your fortune.

Experience with literally ALL of the people I knew from my past who got married does not reflect this and so I can only guess it must be rare, having no interest in pursuing such a life myself.


----------



## Carol (Jan 15, 2009)

Andy Moynihan said:


> If you are truly happily married then I must congratulate you on your fortune.
> 
> Experience with literally ALL of the people I knew from my past who got married does not reflect this and so I can only guess it must be rare, having no interest in pursuing such a life myself.




Not the choice for everyone, but its not that rare IMO.  It just seems that way because the folks that are in a healthy relationship are too busy being married to bother with complaining about their life to us single folks. :lol:  

Plus, most happily married folks are secure enough in their relationship to be able to joke about marriage...the person that told me the joke I posted was a happily married man close to my mother's age.


----------



## theletch1 (Jan 15, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> Not the choice for everyone, but its not that rare IMO.  It just seems that way because the folks that are in a healthy relationship are too busy being married to bother with complaining about their life to us single folks. :lol:
> 
> Plus, most happily married folks are secure enough in their relationship to be able to joke about marriage...the person that told me the joke I posted was a happily married man close to my mother's age.



Very true, Carol.  A good marriage takes a ton of work but seems to happen just because.  The trick, at least for Erica and I, is to love the other person more than you love yourself.  If this is true on both sides of the relationship then everything is great.  I've had a truly horrific marriage in the past and don't care to relive it.


----------



## Carol (Jan 15, 2009)

theletch1 said:


> Very true, Carol.  A good marriage takes a ton of work but seems to happen just because.  The trick, at least for Erica and I, is to love the other person more than you love yourself.  If this is true on both sides of the relationship then everything is great.  I've had a truly horrific marriage in the past and don't care to relive it.



Funny I was just in a conversation last night on practically the same subject (what makes relationships work).  The guy that I was talking to said when you give someone more than what you give yourself, you end up receiving more than what you would received had you largely focused on yourself.  That's not an easy thing.  Its not only natural to "look out for #1", its _necessary _in many environments...work, school, even dating..  To find someone that is also committed to giving of themselves in the same manner is even more difficult than disciplining oneself to do so.  

But it can be done, because there are people out there that are man enough or woman enough to make it work.


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

theletch1 said:


> Very true, Carol. A good marriage takes a ton of work but seems to happen just because. The trick, at least for Erica and I, is to love the other person more than you love yourself. If this is true on both sides of the relationship then everything is great. I've had a truly horrific marriage in the past and don't care to relive it.


 

Ah! It takes constant work for the rest of your life!

THAT'S why most of my generation gives up! :idea:


----------



## MA-Caver (Jan 15, 2009)

I heard this paraphrase of the subject: Marriage is a dog eat dog life and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear.


----------



## celtic_crippler (Jan 15, 2009)

I'll remain happily "single", thank you. 

I just don't think that a "relationship" should take all that much work. The ones I do have, do not. Probably because they involve people I have plenty in common with. 

I think the main issue in romantic relationships is that people automatically have some mold they expect their significant other to fill. Often developed from early childhood! Oh where, oh where is my knight in shining armor! Oh where, oh where is my runway model that also just happens to cook and clean? Simply not realistic from the get-go. LOL


----------



## theletch1 (Jan 15, 2009)

celtic_crippler said:


> I'll remain happily "single", thank you.
> 
> *I just don't think that a "relationship" should take all that much work*. The ones I do have, do not. Probably because they involve people I have plenty in common with.
> 
> I think the main issue in romantic relationships is that people automatically have some mold they expect their significant other to fill. Often developed from early childhood! Oh where, oh where is my knight in shining armor! Oh where, oh where is my runway model that also just happens to cook and clean? Simply not realistic from the get-go. LOL


//for the bold part//
It isn't 9 to 5 "God, I'm glad I can clock out now" work.  It's taking the time to think of the other person before you act work.  Eventually, it becomes second nature.  If it truly "feels" like work then something is wrong.

//for the underlined part//
I once heard someone say that what men wanted in a woman was simple... a porn star in the bed and June Cleaver the moment her feet hit the floor.


----------



## arnisador (Jan 15, 2009)

:d


----------

