# Rocky Mountain Oysters



## hardheadjarhead (Jul 10, 2005)

Okay.

For years now I've known of "Rocky Mountain Oysters," which are the testicles of a pig, bull, or other farm animal fry cooked in a pan and eaten by people.

Over the years I've run into a number of people who claim to have eaten them, smacked their lips and grinned (an evil grin, I might add) and commented on how good they were.  I always wondered if they were lying.

Yesterday my wife and I were at the "Butcher Block," our towns most excellent resource for meat...and damned if I didn't see frozen pigs testicles.

I bought them.

The butcher acted as if I was demented.

In looking for a recipe I came across several sites I thought I'd share.  They're rather...interesting.

http://www.funlinked.com/testicle/

http://www.beavercleaver.net/recipe.htm


I've always been one of those people who prides himself on eating just about anything.  Rattlesnake, octopus, squid, pig intestines, tripe, liver, heart, sweetbreads, kidneys...but never this.

When I cook them up, I'll let you know how it goes.



Regards,


Steve


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## bignick (Jul 10, 2005)

There goes a brave man...


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## Gary Crawford (Jul 10, 2005)

Well?!  How did you like them?!!


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## arnisador (Jul 10, 2005)

Steve Scott is nuts about nuts!


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## shesulsa (Jul 10, 2005)

Cook them??  Eat them?? Steve, what are you thinking??  Just preserve one and use it as a prosthetic for the one you lost!!!  Now THAT'S thinking!

 My old man's aunt hunts with her father and it's the first thing she does - whack them puppies off and fry them in butter. Swears she loves them.  Now that's a woman with balls.  Me, I'm perfectly happy with my husband's in the jar.


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## Flatlander (Jul 11, 2005)

Around here, young bull calf testicles are referred to as prairie oysters.  Personally, I'd never, ever, _ever_ eat that stuff, but a few of my buddies grew up on them and, apparently, the testosterone in them will give you a real rush.  I take their word for it.


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## Sam (Jul 11, 2005)

oh. my god.

I don't believe that.
ewwww!

(what did you think? I think you get rep points just for eating something so gross when you werent even on fear factor)

EDIT

or maybe not because aparently I have to spread some more around. 
ah well not like you needed it.


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 11, 2005)

Haven't tried 'em yet, guys.  Maybe tonight.

I confess, every time I think of it, I feel slightly nauseated.

Were those links not a hoot?



Regards,


Steve


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## The Kai (Jul 11, 2005)

Dude. i get quesy just thinking about it!

Well, nuts to you
I'm sure they taste just fine


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## Blindside (Jul 11, 2005)

previous comments removed for good taste.... good taste that has nothing to do with recipes for Rocky Mountian Oysters.

Lamont


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## OUMoose (Jul 11, 2005)

I want visual documentation of this, so if you have a digital camera, please take pictures.  LOL.  

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to vomit...


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## arnisador (Jul 11, 2005)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> apparently, the testosterone in them will give you a real rush.


 I wonder if this is true? I think it is true that you can take testosterone orally, but is it effective after it's been cooked?


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 11, 2005)

I believe hormones will remain in food items, so eating testicles should give you a jolt of testosterone.


Steve, you do *really* need more testosterone?  I think it's cool you're trying new foods, but hey, you already radiate it like a glow!


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## Flatlander (Jul 11, 2005)

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> eating testicles should give you a jolt


Hmmm.....new sig line for Flatlander? As in......
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				Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> eating testicles should give you a jolt


 :uhyeah:


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 11, 2005)

:roflmao: :roflmao:


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## shesulsa (Jul 11, 2005)

I guess you could say that Dan was "On the ball" with grabbing that sig line ....


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## Flatlander (Jul 11, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I guess you could say that Dan was "On the ball" with grabbing that sig line ....


As far as quotes go, it's a real mouthful. :lol2:  Holy crap, this is out of hand....


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## MA-Caver (Jul 11, 2005)

In nearly every culture there is a food that will not be eaten. And in nearly every culture there is a food that will be eaten. Yet as we've learned on many animals there are few parts that cannot be eaten. It is how we have grown up and what we are taught as children of what is and isnt' good to eat. Tribes of Africa and South America and Austrailia have shown us that insects are edible and even considered a delicacy. Yet here in America do we see canned Beetles or other "bugs"? In the city the thought of eating chitlins (pork intestines) turns many stomachs, yet when I was raised in the woods of Tennessee I was sat down to a plate of them. Didn't like it but primarily because the thought of it was so gross. Same with calf brains in Texas and other south western states. 
The orient is famously (joked) for eating cats and dogs. 

It is our minds that make us go eww, gross, sick, yuck. But food is food, protein  is protein, so obviously we have to condition our selves to eat whatever is before us else we starve. But as long as there are alternatives we will choose that which we find to be suitable to our own personal palates. 
The willingness to try when there is no need says a lot about a person. 

The stuff on Fear Factor however while shows that we can consume things like rotten fish guts and pureed maggot shakes... there is no real need. Or is there?


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## bignick (Jul 11, 2005)

They're actually pretty popular around my area...couple of Rocky Mountain Oyster fry's a year....But I never had the cajones to try them...


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## Lisa (Jul 11, 2005)

Worked for a doctor a few years back that took us to "The Prairie Oyster Cafe" 

 She ordered the Prairie oysters.  The poor waiter tried to explain what they were... she wouldn't listen to him, swept his "do you know what they are?" questions off without a thought, told him she knew what she wanted and who was he to tell her...

 funny shade of green she turned when he presented them to her and she finally listened... very hard not to laugh in my bosses face, it was.


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## rupton (Jul 11, 2005)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> Okay.
> 
> For years now I've known of "Rocky Mountain Oysters," which are the testicles of a pig, bull, or other farm animal fry cooked in a pan and eaten by people.
> 
> ...


  Steve,

 WARNING, whatever you do dont _DON'T_ eat them fresh. A friend of mine told me once that if I tried them I abosolutely HAD to try them fresh.  I tell you what, I took one bite and that bull drug me through three fences and a pasture before I could let go. So don't eat them fresh ;-)


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## Sam (Jul 11, 2005)

*dies*

nice punch line


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## Flatlander (Jul 11, 2005)

:roflmao:


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 12, 2005)

I'm amazed at the number of "festivals" nationwide celebrating the ingestion of these glandular delicacies.

When I was in the Phillipines in '81 I recall seeing a butcher in Subic City who sold everything...everything...off a pig.  Dangling down from his rack was a pig's penis.  Somebody was going to buy that and cook it for chow.

I won't go that far.


Regards,


Steve


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## MA-Caver (Jul 12, 2005)

Thanks for the mental image there Steve-o. Geez.


"Hey! What's for Dinner??" 
"Uhh, the OTHER white meat..."


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## The Kai (Jul 12, 2005)

So if you don't like them and spend the dinner hour just pushing them around your plate with your fork, can I be the first to yell out....


 "Quiting Picking at Your Nuts!"
Could'nt resist

you probably should'nt have told first-not a ton of moral support


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## arnisador (Jul 12, 2005)

Loved the "fresh" joke!

I agree, not much moral support here for poor old Mr. Scott. Bite the bullet and eat 'em, dude!


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 13, 2005)

The plan is for me to cook them tonight.

I've composed a song, sung to the tune of West Side Story's "Tonight."

_Tonight, tonight,
Won't be just any night,
Tonight my fragile courage may freeze!
Tonight, tonight, I'll see whether tonight
I have the guts to eat pork testes!

Today the minutes seem like hours,
The dread hours go so slowly,
And still the sky is light . . .

Oh moon, grow bright,
And get me through these oysters tonight! 

Tonight!_


Regards,


Steve


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## shesulsa (Jul 13, 2005)

Let us know how that plan goes, Steve.


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## arnisador (Jul 13, 2005)

Make sure you cook the right ones.


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## dubljay (Jul 13, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> Make sure you cook the right ones.


  :anic:  yikes


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 14, 2005)

Well, I did it.

Everybody's encouragement here has been appreciated.  I note that with a little modification your exhortations to "go and do it," turns into "gonad do it."

The first question that might spring to your lips, "Did I swallow?"

Yes, I did.

Second question, perhaps, "What did it taste like?"

Chicken.  Sorta.

Actually it tasted very similar to chicken gizzards, with a slight almost liver flavor mixed in.  It has a very weak flavor altogether, not unpleasant if you've eaten other glandular meats (sweetbreads, kidney, liver) or heart.  The consistency and texture was similar to kidney or gizzards.

Had I been a better cook, they might have been more palatable.  As it was, they were nothing to rave about.  I can't see all the fuss.

One pigs testicle is about the size of a woman's fist.  It is covered by a sort of fascia that ought to be cut away.  This fascia is so tough as to make the job difficult.  I suspect a bull's testicle would provide enough "swing meat" for two people.  I wonder how big a whale's testicle is?  An elephant's?

The smell of cooking testicles is unpleasant.  

My next phase of this experiment is to find a sow in heat and see if I can impregnate her by lifting her tail and burping near her nether regions.  



Regards,



Steve


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## shesulsa (Jul 14, 2005)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> Actually it tasted very similar to chicken gizzards, with a slight almost liver flavor mixed in. It has a very weak flavor altogether, not unpleasant if you've eaten other glandular meats (sweetbreads, kidney, liver) or heart. The consistency and texture was similar to kidney or gizzards.
> 
> ...<snip>...
> 
> The smell of cooking testicles is unpleasant.


 :barf:



			
				hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> My next phase of this experiment is to find a sow in heat and see if I can impregnate her by lifting her tail and burping near her nether regions.


 :erg:


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 14, 2005)

I have confused and nauseated at least one person.  My work here is done.




Regards,


Steve


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## arnisador (Jul 14, 2005)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> The smell of cooking testicles is unpleasant.


 The _thought_ of cooking testicles is unpleasant. But, congratulations on your bravery! Still, in Buffalo next month, let's stick to pizza and wings, eh?


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## Mark Barlow (Jul 14, 2005)

Finish out this buffet with brains and eggs followed by chitlins. 

Growing up in the rural South, I've eaten mountain oysters, brains, chitlins, tripe, gizzards, livers, possum, squirrel and worse. Surprisingly, I'd still rather eat "country" than typical fast food. If anyone wonders what possum tastes like...kinda like bald eagle.


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## kenpochad (Jul 14, 2005)

The Kai said:
			
		

> So if you don't like them and spend the dinner hour just pushing them around your plate with your fork, can I be the first to yell out....
> 
> 
> "Quiting Picking at Your Nuts!"
> ...


DONT DO THAT YOU WILL GO BLIND !!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 14, 2005)

Mark Barlow said:
			
		

> Finish out this buffet with brains and eggs followed by chitlins.
> 
> Growing up in the rural South, I've eaten mountain oysters, brains, chitlins, tripe, gizzards, livers, possum, squirrel and worse. Surprisingly, I'd still rather eat "country" than typical fast food. If anyone wonders what possum tastes like...kinda like bald eagle.



I've had brains.  Years ago. Won't touch 'em now.  I've had chitlins, tripe, gizzard, deer/elk/beef/pork liver, thymus/pancreas (sweetbreads).  I've had rabbit and rattlesnake.  I've had octopus and squid and sea cucumber (which isn't a cucumber) and shark and sharksfin soup.  Have yet to taste possum or squirrel.  Or bald eagle, for that matter.

I've heard in Denmark one can get whale, reindeer, and seal...and I want to try those provided their licensed kills and not endangering their respective species.  I also want to try monkey meat.

So many species, so little time...but I've just about run out of body parts to try.

And no, Arnisador, I won't follow your suggestion and try the pig's "winkie."


Regards,


Steve


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 14, 2005)

Bravo to you Steve for your new culinary adventure!

I hope all the testosterone doesn't set you over the legal limit.


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## arnisador (Jul 14, 2005)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> I've had brains.  Years ago.


  Yes, I've met Mr. Scott and I'll vouch for the fact that he no longer has brains. :rofl:



> And no, Arnisador, I won't follow your suggestion and try the pig's "winkie."


  Pizza and wings it is. Have you tried the ice cream place down the road from *Datu Puti*'s studio yet? It's called Antionettes, and it's great.I still owe Dr. Gyi a trip there, as he's reminded me.


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## hardheadjarhead (Jul 15, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> Pizza and wings it is. Have you tried the ice cream place down the road from *Datu Puti*'s studio yet? It's called Antionettes, and it's great.I still owe Dr. Gyi a trip there, as he's reminded me.




They have pig's penis ice cream?  What WILL they think of next....

Don't worry Feistymouse.  I noted no surge of testosterone from having ingested these "oysters."   The zits were there before, as was the compulsive and near criminal sexuality.  No noted increase in either area.

I have to make this short, as I have to go lock myself in the bathroom for a bit.  I just got National Geographic's "Women of Madagascar" issue in the mail.




Regards,


Steve


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