# California



## Ender (Mar 9, 2004)

Not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you
know you're in California when......

1 Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.

5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
and you can taste the difference
between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.

12. Gas costs $1 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US.

13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don't even notice.

14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like
George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay
 rep is a guy in drag.

17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?

18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:
 "STORM WATCH 2004."

19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks
himself is teaching the 4 p.m. Tae Bo class.

20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy
with their cellphones or pagers....

21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

24. The Terminator is your new governor.


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## tshadowchaser (Mar 9, 2004)

Man oh Man do I remember (almost) those days in Calif.


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## Gary Crawford (Mar 9, 2004)

I wish I could forget them!I left there in 77 but moved back in 85.After a couple of months there,I was driving home from work and saw four guys beating the crap out of one guy and it didn't occure to me what I saw until I got home.I left the next day!


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## Zepp (Mar 9, 2004)

Home sweet home!


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## Ian the Great (Mar 2, 2013)

Haha most of these are so true, regardless of where you are in California. Some days I wonder why I ever moved back to Cali.


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## Big Don (Mar 3, 2013)

#18 Is completely unfair. The farmers whine all the time, rain or shine.


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## James Kovacich (Mar 4, 2013)

Haters...they talk, talk, talk but when the times are good, they flock here. They take our jobs and take their money and buy homes in their home states. I understand the dollar value there but the BS that goes along with it too? On Saturday nite live they have a skit about CA, I think Malibu. It's BS, leading people to think we are really like that. Oh well, free speech, take the bitter with the sweet. 

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## Steve (Mar 4, 2013)

James Kovacich said:


> Haters...they talk, talk, talk but when the times are good, they flock here. They take our jobs and take their money and buy homes in their home states. I understand the dollar value there but the BS that goes along with it too? On Saturday nite live they have a skit about CA, I think Malibu. It's BS, leading people to think we are really like that. Oh well, free speech, take the bitter with the sweet.
> 
> Sent from my DROID3 using Tapatalk 2


the Californians...  that's the skit from SNL and it's hilarious.  I have coworkers down in Cali, and it's so funny whey they talk.  "Dude.  Just take the 101 down to 10 and over to 5."  They describe in great detail how they arrived


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## James Kovacich (Mar 4, 2013)

Steve said:


> the Californians...  that's the skit from SNL and it's hilarious.  I have coworkers down in Cali, and it's so funny whey they talk.  "Dude.  Just take the 101 down to 10 and over to 5."  They describe in great detail how they arrived



Yea, it is funny.

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