# Understanding Men....



## Sarah

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." 

"I'm going hunting"
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand in the woods with a lethal weapon in my hand, shooting at anything that makes a noise that isn't blaze orange. I think my friends and I will all be back in one piece

"Let's take your car."
Really means....
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas." 

Woman driver."
Really means....
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me." 

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white." 

"It's a guy thing."
Really means....
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." 

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. 

"Good idea."
Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating." 

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill." 

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them." 

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means....
"I have no idea how it works." 

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead." 

"We're going to be late."
Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." 

"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means....
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972." 

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means....
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra." 

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." 

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?" 

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again." 

"You expect too much of me."
Really means....
"You want me to stay awake?" 

"That's women's work."
Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless." 

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means....
"I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." 

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means....
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." 

And if all you men are thinking about trying to understand woman...dont bother, you never will.....just love us anyways


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## MA-Caver

Dammit! I *TOLD* you guys we needed to rescue those poor B*stards from the LLR. Those _Cabaaanaaah_ boys are telling them everything!

So c'mon who's with me! :armed:  :knight:  :2pistols:  :samurai:  :viking3:  :ninja:  :enguard:  :viking2:  







....(water drop echoes) .... 

 figgures....


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## BrandiJo

haha in order to rescue them dont ya gotta get in first?


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## MA-Caver

BrandiJo said:
			
		

> haha in order to rescue them dont ya gotta get in first?


If you watch more testosterone fueled movies (i.e. The Rock, Bad Boys II, Lets Get Harry, etc.) you'll see that we just don't sashay our way into the front gates. 


Heh We BLAST THEM !!! Muha ha ha ha ha...  :redeme:


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## Ceicei

And kill yourself in the process, just like that red smiley....  

 - Ceicei


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## OUMoose

Sometimes self-sacrifice is the only answer...

However, Mac, don't forget about the Post-hypnotic suggestion we gave all the "boys" before they entered service...

Ever see the manchurian candidate, ladies?   :snipe:


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## bignick

Mutual death is honorable.

Lead the way MACaver....Charge!!!


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## Chronuss

Nick and I'll flank'em whilest you guys head up the center.  :wink1:


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## Chronuss

Ceicei said:
			
		

> And kill yourself in the process, just like that red smiley....


but there's a real big kaboom...


----------



## shesulsa

Ladies, hush!  Leave the door unlocked, they'll all come rushing in and WE'LL HAVE THEM ALL TO ENSLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY SERVING OUR EVERY WHIM AND MOST HORRIFIC MOOD SWINGS!!!  AND OUR ANGER WILL BE TERRIBLE SHOULD THEY DISOBEY AND THE REIGN OF WOMEN SHALL RESUME ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 ....

*cough* *hack* *ahem*  What?


----------



## bignick

:mp5::flame::ak47::goop::ripper::uzi::rockets::snipe::sig::apv::machgunr::tank::biggun::shooter:


   ATTACK...


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## shesulsa

One down - ladies, we got bignick in the cat trap.


----------



## someguy

I'd say something about understanding women but umm well sorry I don't.
I'm sure the rest of the guys around here agree.


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## Sarah

hehe....Ive got dibs on Moose...come on in baby  

*winks to Georgia* ...hehe they wont know what hit them


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## OUMoose

*smiles softly as he picks up the phone on the 1st thursday of the 1st month letting the phone in the cabana boy stable ring only one time while sounding one car horn blast*

Guys can fight dirty too... 

*Waits for Sarah outside*


----------



## JPR

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Ladies, hush! Leave the door unlocked, they'll all come rushing in and WE'LL HAVE THEM ALL TO ENSLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY SERVING OUR EVERY WHIM AND MOST HORRIFIC MOOD SWINGS!!! AND OUR ANGER WILL BE TERRIBLE SHOULD THEY DISOBEY AND THE REIGN OF WOMEN SHALL RESUME ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ....
> 
> *cough* *hack* *ahem*  What?


 Like this isn't what is already happening????  
 JPR


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## Feisty Mouse

J, you rock.  Your wife trained you well, or something.


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## Sarah

HAHA...no darling, we just play with your minds and let you 'think' that your fighting dirty....

When will you learn woman have all the power.... 

 




			
				OUMoose said:
			
		

> *smiles softly as he picks up the phone on the 1st thursday of the 1st month letting the phone in the cabana boy stable ring only one time while sounding one car horn blast*
> 
> Guys can fight dirty too...
> 
> *Waits for Sarah outside*


----------



## someguy

Well you women folk done cry about stuff.  Thats black mail.
Shoot if we cried about stuff.  Well you'd laugh yourself silly.
It done don't be a fair playing field.
Us guys need to get together and figure out how to even it out.


----------



## Sarah

someguy said:
			
		

> Well you women folk done cry about stuff. Thats black mail.
> Shoot if we cried about stuff. Well you'd laugh yourself silly.
> It done don't be a fair playing field.
> Us guys need to get together and figure out how to even it out.


Yep..you guys have it tough....but hey, you're big strong men, deal with it!  


*Question: Can men ever win? *


If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. 

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. 

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. 

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. 

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. 

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better. 

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. 

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. 

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. 

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. 

If you cry, you're a wimp. 

If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard. 

If you thump her, it's wife bashing. 

If she thumps you, it's self defense. 

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. 

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. 

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. 

If she asks you, it's a favor. 

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert. 

If you don't, you're a fag. 

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. 

If you don't, you're unromantic. 

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. 

If you don't, you're a slob. 

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. 

If you don't, you're not thoughtful. 

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself. 

If you don't, you're not ambitious. 

If she has a headache, she's tired. 

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore. 

If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.


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## MA-Caver

If a man believed all those... he might as well cut his .... off and become a monk. 
Fortunately all of those are bogus, stupid and just plain ig-norant.  :uhyeah: 



> From the group Chicago
> Well my pad is very messy, got whiskers on my chin.
> Never had no problems cause I've always paid the rent, I got no time for loving
> cause my time is all used up, I stand outside creating all the groovy kinds of love.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> 
> If I had my choice of matter, I would rather be with cats all engrossed in mental chatter,
> showing where your mind is at while relating to each other how strong the love can be
> by resisting all the good times with each groovy chick we see.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> 
> I've got to keep my image while I'm standing on the floor.
> If I drop upon my knees, it's just to keep them on my nose.
> You think that I'm not human and my heart is made of stone
> but I've never had no problems cause my body's pretty strong.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> 
> If I had my choice of matter, I would rather be with cats all engrossed in mental chatter,
> showing where your mind is at while relating to each other how strong the love can be
> by resisting all the good times with each groovy chick we see.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> 
> I gotta keep my image while I'm standing on the floor.
> If I drop upon my knees, it's just to keep them on my nose.
> You think that I'm not human and my heart is made of stone
> but I've never had no problems cause my body's pretty strong.
> I'm a man, yes I am and I can't help but love you so.
> Man, yes I am, and I can't help but love you so.
> Man, yes I am, and I can't help but love you so.
> Man, yes I am, and I can't help but love you so.


----------



## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> Yep..you guys have it tough....but hey, you're big strong men, deal with it!
> 
> 
> *Question: Can men ever win? *
> 
> 
> If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
> 
> If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
> 
> If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
> 
> If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
> 
> If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
> 
> If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better.
> 
> If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
> 
> If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
> 
> If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
> 
> If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
> 
> If you cry, you're a wimp.
> 
> If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
> 
> If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
> 
> If she thumps you, it's self defense.
> 
> If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
> 
> If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
> 
> If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
> 
> If she asks you, it's a favor.
> 
> If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
> 
> If you don't, you're a fag.
> 
> If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
> 
> If you don't, you're unromantic.
> 
> If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
> 
> If you don't, you're a slob.
> 
> If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
> 
> If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
> 
> If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
> 
> If you don't, you're not ambitious.
> 
> If she has a headache, she's tired.
> 
> If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
> 
> If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.


damned if we do, and damned if we don't...OY!


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## BrandiJo

its the way the world works sorry guys


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## Raewyn

*Will you marry me*

_Really means_
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the 
washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

*"Oh, don't fuss.  I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
*_Really means...._ 
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed 
to death before I admit I'm hurt."

*I do help around the house."
*_Really means...._ 
I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

*"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
*_Really means...._ 
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

*"I can't find it."
*_Really means...._ 
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."

*"I heard you."
*_Really means...._
 "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, 
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that 
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

*I'm not lost.  I know exactly where we are."*
_Really means....  _
"No one will ever see us alive again."


----------



## Raewyn

*"I don't need to read the instructions."
*_Really means...._ 
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without 
printed help."

*"I broke up with her."*
_Really means...._ 
"She dumped me."

"*Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
*_Really means...._ 
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

*"We share the housework."
*_Really means...._
 "I make the messes, she cleans them up."


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## Chronuss

Raisin said:
			
		

> "*Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."*
> _Really means...._
> "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"


man...does that hit the nail on the head. :rofl:


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## Raewyn

Chronuss said:
			
		

> man...does that hit the nail on the head. :rofl:


 Men are such liars!!     lol


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## Chronuss

we just like to eloquently tell the truth.  :wink1:


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## KenpoTess

*coughs and rolls eyes*


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## Simon Curran

Quote : If you buy her flowers, you're after something. 

If you don't, you're not thoughtful. 

It's much worse than that, we get told all the time how unromantic we are because we don't roll in every friday with a bunch of flowers/theatre tickets/dinner reservations/diamond ring etc, but when we dare to bring home any of the above, the first question on her lips is "What have you done", with "Who is she" being a close runner up...


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## Raewyn

SIMONCURRAN said:
			
		

> Quote : If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
> 
> If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
> 
> It's much worse than that, we get told all the time how unromantic we are because we don't roll in every friday with a bunch of flowers/theatre tickets/dinner reservations/diamond ring etc, but when we dare to bring home any of the above, the first question on her lips is "What have you done", with "Who is she" being a close runner up...


 You're damned either way!!!!!


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## OUMoose

SIMONCURRAN said:
			
		

> Quote : If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
> 
> If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
> 
> It's much worse than that, we get told all the time how unromantic we are because we don't roll in every friday with a bunch of flowers/theatre tickets/dinner reservations/diamond ring etc, but when we dare to bring home any of the above, the first question on her lips is "What have you done", with "Who is she" being a close runner up...



Ohh... I dunno.  I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.   Now I have to figure out what the next step will be, since I can't use flowers for at least 3 or 4 gifts... Otherwise I'll just be an uncreative bastard, or thoughtless.


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## Raewyn

OUMoose said:
			
		

> Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.  Now I have to figure out what the next step will be, since I can't use flowers for at least 3 or 4 gifts... Otherwise I'll just be an uncreative bastard, or thoughtless.


 





You need to see her in person    *_wink, wink nod nod*_


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## Sarah

*coughDiamondsCough*





			
				OUMoose said:
			
		

> Ohh... I dunno. I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.  Now I have to figure out what the next step will be, since I can't use flowers for at least 3 or 4 gifts... Otherwise I'll just be an uncreative bastard, or thoughtless.


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## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> *coughDiamondsCough*


yeah...what's the DeBeers slogan..."Diamonds...take her breath away."  why don't they just say what they want to..."Diamonds...that'll shut her up..........................for a minute."


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## Lisa

OUMoose said:
			
		

> Ohh... I dunno.  I got a favorable reaction when I bought someone flowers last.  Now I have to figure out what the next step will be, since I can't use flowers for at least 3 or 4 gifts... Otherwise I'll just be an uncreative bastard, or thoughtless.


 How about...

 *knock *knock *knock..

 Honey, I'm home!


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## OUMoose

Chronuss said:
			
		

> yeah...what's the DeBeers slogan..."Diamonds...take her breath away."  why don't they just say what they want to..."Diamonds...that'll shut her up..........................for a minute."


Close...

"Diamonds... Take her breath away, and his credit rating..."


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## Sarah

yep...that'll take my breath away, and make me go weak at the knees all at the same time.




			
				Nalia said:
			
		

> How about...
> 
> *knock *knock *knock..
> 
> Honey, I'm home!


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## Raewyn

Nalia said:
			
		

> How about...
> 
> *knock *knock *knock..
> 
> Honey, I'm home!


 


HA HA............. thats always a good start!!


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## Sarah

and for a good finish.....diamonds  :ultracool 



			
				Raisin said:
			
		

> HA HA............. thats always a good start!!


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## Raewyn

Sarah said:
			
		

> and for a good finish.....diamonds :ultracool


 

FORE SHORE!!!!!!!!


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## FUZZYJ692000

Sarah 
Woman driver."
[color=purple said:
			
		

> Really means....[/color]
> "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."




hum  :idunno:   i'm confused...so does this mean i can't yell at the idiot in front of me anymore and ride their bumper til they get the hint to go the speed limit or get off the road....pouts..what's the fun in that....however i do have a good record, only 1 speeding ticket when i was 18....i'm just smarter than the cops now and know where they park...so i don't speed through there


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## DarrenJew

Gezzz.... diamonds are a girls best friend... and we all know what mans best friend is....


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## Feisty Mouse

A dog?

His right (or left) hand?

The TV remote?

X-Box or Playstation?

Pizza delivery number?


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## Sarah

ROTFL    

 




			
				Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> A dog?
> 
> His right (or left) hand?
> 
> The TV remote?
> 
> X-Box or Playstation?
> 
> Pizza delivery number?


----------



## The Prof

Hmmmmmm!


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## Chronuss

...just because I've been playing Halo 2 religiously doesn't mean my X-Box is my best friend...oh...wait...gotta go...need to go get some more plasma rifle training in case Earth ever gets invaded...


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## FUZZYJ692000

Chronuss said:
			
		

> ...just because I've been playing Halo 2 religiously doesn't mean my X-Box is my best friend...oh...wait...gotta go...need to go get some more plasma rifle training in case Earth ever gets invaded...



don't just say it's Halo, if it wasn't halo it'd be some other game...you're just addicted to that thing....stop lieing to yourself.....your room sees you more hours than the rest of the world does


----------



## Chronuss

I like my cave.


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## Cryozombie

DarrenJew said:
			
		

> and we all know what mans best friend is....


 Yeah, His Girlfriend/Wife's Cuter Sister.


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## MA-Caver

Chronuss said:
			
		

> I like my cave.


 Cave? CAVE? *Where? **WHERE? WHERE IS IT?? *


----------



## Simon Curran

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> A dog?
> 
> His right (or left) hand?
> 
> The TV remote?
> 
> X-Box or Playstation?
> 
> Pizza delivery number?


Hey you forgot to mention our collections of dvd movies that we all watch whenever we have the guys round for beers and pizza, and for that matter you forgot the beer cooler, erm oops I mean fridge...


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## shesulsa

I think what we forgot is their P O R N ! ! ! ! ! ! !


----------



## OUMoose

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I think what we forgot is their P O R N ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Well how ELSE are we going to learn what you want?!?!  

When communication is me asking and you saying "if you don't know, I'm not telling" (and don't lie... I KNOW you've said it), what are we supposed to do?!  

*ducks, parries, and dodges the wrath of the LLR*


----------



## shesulsa

Perhaps some of us get past the whole (I'm no-ot tellll-in) thing and give very specific, but gentle reminders ... (a little to the left, dear).

Porn is not necessarily a good example of what a woman wants ... play this game with her:  I'll tell you how I want it if you tell me how you want it.  Then indulge each other. 

Oh god, I'm turning into Dr. Georgia!!


----------



## Cryozombie

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Porn is not necessarily a good example of what a woman wants


 Yeah, but to let you in on a little secret, we dont really care what women want.

 As long as we can get them to shut up long enough to give us some peace and quite once in a while...

 All their constant. YAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAK


----------



## KenpoTess

*taking John's measurements.... you're coming down here when? :btg:


----------



## shesulsa

Tess - can I come too?  I have a new sword I need to try out.  I'm sure John'll be game.


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## Ceicei

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Tess - can I come too?  I have a new sword I need to try out.  I'm sure John'll be game.


  May I too?  I have some Japanese rope tying I wanna try out on him....  

  - Ceicei


----------



## Lisa

I just wanna come watch and laugh from the side lines


----------



## someguy

John you area a playa.  Ceicei wants to tye you up and Nalia wants to watch.
All the women are after you.
I'm a dead man but it was worth it.


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## Sarah

I donno if this has been said before, but it seems to fit in this thread:


The nice men are ugly. 
The handsome men are not nice. 
The handsome and nice men are gay. 
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. 
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money. 
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. 
The handsome men without money are after our money. 
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough. 
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards. 
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!! 
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?


----------



## FearlessFreep

I dunno...sounds like you summed it up pretty well.


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## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.


that we are.  we're a shy bunch, us geeks.  beautiful women scare us...cause...well...we're geeks.  :wink1:
















































but ladies dig geeks, right...?    right....?  helllloooooooo....


----------



## Sarah

Chronuss said:
			
		

> but ladies dig geeks, right...? right....? helllloooooooo....


I like the good looking ones....YUM


----------



## Feisty Mouse

Geeks are hot.


----------



## Ceicei

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> Geeks are hot.


 UMMM, yep!!  I married one, and he's still hot!

 - Ceicei


----------



## Feisty Mouse

Ceicei said:
			
		

> UMMM, yep!! I married one, and he's still hot!
> 
> - Ceicei


Good choice!


----------



## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> I like the good looking ones....YUM





			
				Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> Geeks are hot.


yay....now...without donning a pocket protector...now I just have to become more geeky...oh, wait...I think I've reached my limit for this month...hmm..

yeah...highly attractive women tend to turn us into puddle of Jello...but just remember...there's always room for Jello.  :wink1:


----------



## MA-Caver

Sarah said:
			
		

> I donno if this has been said before, but it seems to fit in this thread:
> 
> 
> The nice men are ugly.
> The handsome men are not nice.
> The handsome and nice men are gay.
> The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
> The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
> The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
> The handsome men without money are after our money.
> The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.
> The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.
> The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!
> The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
> 
> NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?




Oh, so by that logical thinking I'm ugly and a worthless bum huh? 

'Cause I happen to be a nice man without a job (for the moment). Huh? Huh? ..... Ohhh kay, I see. 


(whistles tunelessly while walking casually away ....    )


----------



## MA-Caver

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> Originally Posted by Ceicei
> UMMM, yep!! I married one, and he's still hot!
> 
> - Ceicei
> 
> 
> 
> Good choice!
Click to expand...

Now, remember Ceicei ... HE chose YOU and he was like a dog with a choice grade A steak that growled whenever anyone got near it (you).... 




YES he *DID* Ceicei, you were just too much of a woman (still are ... in a great way) to notice a man thing like that. All of us other guys did. So we backed off. We all liked the guy (still do  ) so it was a *male* type of respecting the unseen boundries that were all around you. You know like Concerta wire, claymores, croc-filled moats and punji-pits. 



It's like I told you before... it's a *GUY* thing so don't *eee-ven* try to understand it.

As for the _rest_ of you ladies... give it up huh? Quid-pro-quo. Tell us some of your mysteries and we'll tell ya some of ours. Shoot with THIS thread ya'll are getting loads of insight. Sheesh!  


:lol:


----------



## OUMoose

Sarah said:
			
		

> The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!



*was going to say something, but got embarassed, ran, and hid behind a chair blushing profusely*


----------



## Ceicei

MACaver said:
			
		

> Now, remember Ceicei ... HE chose YOU and he was like a dog with a choice grade A steak that growled whenever anyone got near it (you)....
> 
> YES he *DID* Ceicei, you were just too much of a woman (still are ... in a great way) to notice a man thing like that. All of us other guys did. So we backed off. We all liked the guy (still do  ) so it was a *male* type of respecting the unseen boundries that were all around you. You know like Concerta wire, claymores, croc-filled moats and punji-pits.
> 
> It's like I told you before... it's a *GUY* thing so don't *eee-ven* try to understand it.
> 
> As for the _rest_ of you ladies... give it up huh? Quid-pro-quo. Tell us some of your mysteries and we'll tell ya some of ours. Shoot with THIS thread ya'll are getting loads of insight. Sheesh!
> :lol:


  Remember, I was the one who said, "Yes", so there!  I chose him!!!!

  - Ceicei


----------



## MA-Caver

Ceicei said:
			
		

> Remember, I was the one who said, "Yes", so there!  I chose him!!!!
> 
> - Ceicei


  yeah, yeah, yeah, *what*ever!


----------



## JPR

Oh come on, men are very simple to understand.  But if you are having trouble, as a public service, Ill give you some guidelines:





We      never grew up.
We      dont have control of our own minds.       At any given point in time our minds may just wander off and have      us exclusively day dreaming some wild / weird thing, thus we often answer,      ahhhh, yes dear.
We are      terribly slow to adjust to change.       That is why we will try to fix a thing the same way that has failed      100 times before.  Also it is why      your mood changes terrify us.
We      have terrible memories for important things (like birthdays,      anniversaries, etc.) because our minds are stuffed full of trivia of      sports, martial arts etc.
When      we say it is a guy thing, we are admitting that to a rational, outside      observer what just happened makes no sense what so ever.  But then, we really dont care what a      rational, outside observer thinks to begin with.  It is a guy thing.
Your      mood swings remind us, on the primal level, of our mothers mood      swings.  For a little boy this is a      very scary thing.
If we      cannot chase it away, it scares us.       If we cannot smash it, it scares us.  If we cannot fix it, it scares us.  If we cannot laugh at it, it scares us.  See why your emotions are so much      trouble?
Our      senses are not as well developed as yours.  That is why: smells dont matter, the mess in the house      doesnt register to us, no we didnt hear what so and so said at the party      that offended you, there really isnt too much salt in the soup.
We are      looking to maximize playtime and minimize work.  Anything we dont like is work.
We all      dream of being great adventurers, heroes, warriors, etc. and spend as much      time as possible escaping our mundane existence to live this dream.  That is why we will spend countless      hours and effort in Martial Arts or weekend sports, but if you ask us to      mow the yard it is too much effort.  
When      you ask us what something is or what we are doing and we answer in a vague      way, dont press.  We are doing      something that if we explain it to you we will be embarrassed and we hate      being embarrassed.
If all      else fails remember #1. 

   JPR


----------



## Feisty Mouse

JPR said:
			
		

> Oh come on, men are very simple to understand. But if you are having trouble, as a public service, Ill give you some guidelines:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> We never grew up.
> We dont have control of our own minds. At any given point in time our minds may just wander off and have us exclusively day dreaming some wild / weird thing, thus we often answer, ahhhh, yes dear.
> We are terribly slow to adjust to change. That is why we will try to fix a thing the same way that has failed 100 times before. Also it is why your mood changes terrify us.
> We have terrible memories for important things (like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) because our minds are stuffed full of trivia of sports, martial arts etc.
> When we say it is a guy thing, we are admitting that to a rational, outside observer what just happened makes no sense what so ever. But then, we really dont care what a rational, outside observer thinks to begin with. It is a guy thing.
> Your mood swings remind us, on the primal level, of our mothers mood swings. For a little boy this is a very scary thing.
> If we cannot chase it away, it scares us. If we cannot smash it, it scares us. If we cannot fix it, it scares us. If we cannot laugh at it, it scares us. See why your emotions are so much trouble?
> Our senses are not as well developed as yours. That is why: smells dont matter, the mess in the house doesnt register to us, no we didnt hear what so and so said at the party that offended you, there really isnt too much salt in the soup.
> We are looking to maximize playtime and minimize work. Anything we dont like is work.
> We all dream of being great adventurers, heroes, warriors, etc. and spend as much time as possible escaping our mundane existence to live this dream. That is why we will spend countless hours and effort in Martial Arts or weekend sports, but if you ask us to mow the yard it is too much effort.
> When you ask us what something is or what we are doing and we answer in a vague way, dont press. We are doing something that if we explain it to you we will be embarrassed and we hate being embarrassed.
> If all else fails remember #1.
> JPR


J ~

It...it all makes so much sense now.

So, when do men grow up?


----------



## Simon Curran

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> J ~
> 
> It...it all makes so much sense now.
> 
> So, when do men grow up?


We never do, and don't ever want to.


----------



## Simon Curran

JPR, you just made me understand myself better, so surely the females must get it now...


----------



## someguy

I'll grow up when I'm dead.


----------



## FearlessFreep

_So, when do men grow up?_

"The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys"


----------



## Chronuss

JPR said:
			
		

> We never grew up.
> We all dream of being great adventurers, heroes, warriors, etc. and spend as much time as possible escaping our mundane existence to live this dream. That is why we will spend countless hours and effort in Martial Arts or weekend sports, but if you ask us to mow the yard it is too much effort.
> If all else fails remember #1.




damn...he just gave away all our secrets...and why do you think we always wanna play video games...we're always the heroes...now...I must go save the Earth from digital aliens.


----------



## BrandiJo

my mom has always told me that guys never grow up she spent 15 years trying to raise my dad then finaly gave up and started telling people she has 3 kids the oldest is 35(now 40ish i think) and her husband


----------



## shesulsa

BrandiJo said:
			
		

> my mom has always told me that guys never grow up she spent 15 years trying to raise my dad then finaly gave up and started telling people she has 3 kids the oldest is 35(now 40ish i think) and her husband



LMAO - this is what I do!  I tell everyone I have four kids - youngest is 6, oldest is 42!


----------



## BrandiJo

woo hoo my moms not all that strange


----------



## Lisa

This thread will live for eternity.  There is no way to understand men.  

 The closest I have come is to remember to allow him his passions. So, I let him buy as many guns as he needs, buy him gun related presents and look attentitively at him when he rambles on aimlessly about guns.

  It keeps our house a happy one and me somewhat sane


----------



## Raewyn

sometimes the simple things (_men) _can be the hardest things to understand..............nah just kidding................or was I???............maybe Im just having a male moment!!!!!   lol


----------



## MA-Caver

Hey, we men may never grow up... but at least we get out of the "Ewww yucky girls" by 14/15 yrs. old. You ladies should be grateful for that at least. We'll TRY to include you into our *ahem* games   :uhyeah:


----------



## Simon Curran

MACaver said:
			
		

> Hey, we men may never grow up... but at least we get out of the "Ewww yucky girls" by 14/15 yrs. old. You ladies should be grateful for that at least. We'll TRY to include you into our *ahem* games  :uhyeah:


Well it isn't really true that we get out of the "Ewww yucky girls" thing, we just become interested in the physical differences between them and us...


----------



## Chronuss

MACaver said:
			
		

> Hey, we men may never grow up... but at least we get out of the "Ewww yucky girls" by 14/15 yrs. old.


fourteen/fifteen...?!  damn...yeah...that stage lasted a whole three seconds..."Girls are yucky......wait a minute...no they're not!!  You sonsabitches lied to me!!"


----------



## MA-Caver

Chronuss said:
			
		

> fourteen/fifteen...?!  damn...yeah...that stage lasted a whole three seconds..."Girls are yucky......wait a minute...no they're not!!  You sonsabitches lied to me!!"


No, those were only the ones who ended up Gay that lied to you.


----------



## Baytor




----------



## Baytor




----------



## Cryozombie

I have one word for all the women in this thread:

SEXIST.


----------



## mj_lover

dude, don't say that outloud, bad things happen to us, remember the last time one of us did that? :whip:


----------



## Cryozombie

Yack yack yack.

Bring it on... what are they gonna do?  Henpeck me to death?

Please.


----------



## Feisty Mouse

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I have one word for all the women in this thread:
> 
> SEXIST.


hee hee hee hee!  *titter*


----------



## shesulsa

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I have one word for all the women in this thread:
> 
> SEXIST.



*snort*  yeah.  that's us allright.


----------



## Lisa

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I have one word for all the women in this thread:
> 
> SEXIST.


 and the problem with that is?....:idunno:


----------



## FUZZYJ692000

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I have one word for all the women in this thread:
> 
> SEXIST.




actually techno a woman can't be a sexist if she believes that her sex/gender is better than a males.  sexism is the ideology to justify the hierarchy of males dominating females.  it's just a fact that this county is a male dominated society.  and sexism is just justifying an already existing situation.  so technically a woman can't be sexist unless she truely beliefs that she is inferior to the male population     we're feminist not sexist   don't you just hate sociology majors  :asian:


----------



## Cryozombie

FUZZYJ692000 said:
			
		

> don't you just hate sociology majors  :asian:


Nah, just women who wander out of the kitchen and buy shoes.


----------



## Cryozombie

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Tess - can I come too? I have a new sword I need to try out. I'm sure John'll be game.


Absolutley.  Im working on disarming a sword weilding attacker and stealing their sword... I could use the real life experience and a new sword.


----------



## Baytor

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Nah, just women who wander out of the kitchen and buy shoes.


But what if she's bringing you a drink?  Oh yeah, then she's not wandering.... :bomb:


----------



## FearlessFreep

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer
A: None.  It should already be open when she brings it to him


----------



## Lisa

FearlessFreep said:
			
		

> Q: How many men does it take to open a beer
> A: None.  It should already be open when she brings it to him


  Yeah, like that will EVER happen...


----------



## Feisty Mouse

FUZZYJ692000 said:
			
		

> actually techno a woman can't be a sexist if she believes that her sex/gender is better than a males. sexism is the ideology to justify the hierarchy of males dominating females. it's just a fact that this county is a male dominated society. and sexism is just justifying an already existing situation. so technically a woman can't be sexist unless she truely beliefs that she is inferior to the male population  we're feminist not sexist  don't you just hate sociology majors  :asian:


We've already established that geeks are hot - you go on with your hot self!


----------



## Raewyn

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.


----------



## shesulsa

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Absolutley.  Im working on disarming a sword weilding attacker and stealing their sword... I could use the real life experience and a new sword.



Hence the firearm backup ... and my buddy behind you.


----------



## Rich Parsons

FUZZYJ692000 said:
			
		

> actually techno a woman can't be a sexist if she believes that her sex/gender is better than a males.  sexism is the ideology to justify the hierarchy of males dominating females.  it's just a fact that this county is a male dominated society.  and sexism is just justifying an already existing situation.  so technically a woman can't be sexist unless she truely beliefs that she is inferior to the male population     we're feminist not sexist   don't you just hate sociology majors  :asian:



Actually FJ, I would like to disagree with you, Racism is not just White to black. It exists with shades of variations. Sexism works both directions. Spousal abuse does not exist in a single direction, it exists in both directions.

Now, I Agree that statistics show there is a biased in all examples above.

MY opinion on these subjects.
 :asian:


----------



## Cryozombie

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Hence the firearm backup ... and my buddy behind you.


 Just remember... 

 You'd never see me coming...

 <poof>


----------



## FUZZYJ692000

Rich Parsons said:
			
		

> Actually FJ, I would like to disagree with you, Racism is not just White to black. It exists with shades of variations. Sexism works both directions. Spousal abuse does not exist in a single direction, it exists in both directions.
> 
> Now, I Agree that statistics show there is a biased in all examples above.
> 
> MY opinion on these subjects.
> :asian:



Sexism can also be reversed, if the society is a female dominated society...at least by the sociological definition of sexism.  and no racism isn't just a white/black thing, but then again in other countries there are different definitions of race too.  i was just looking at it as a US society, there's always an exception to every theory   then again this is the comedy cafe so nothing is taken too seriously and out of context here.  which is wonderful when we pokes fun at eachother.  like why is it that guys find it fun to play games like bloody knuckles or see who can hit their head the hardest on objects.  my younger brother is constantly doing stupid stuff like that.  maybe him and his friends are just abnormal.  i know my female friends and i never did anything like that.  this understanding the other gender is for the birds


----------



## Rich Parsons

FUZZYJ692000 said:
			
		

> Sexism can also be reversed, if the society is a female dominated society...at least by the sociological definition of sexism.  and no racism isn't just a white/black thing, but then again in other countries there are different definitions of race too.  i was just looking at it as a US society, there's always an exception to every theory   then again this is the comedy cafe so nothing is taken too seriously and out of context here.  which is wonderful when we pokes fun at eachother.  like why is it that guys find it fun to play games like bloody knuckles or see who can hit their head the hardest on objects.  my younger brother is constantly doing stupid stuff like that.  maybe him and his friends are just abnormal.  i know my female friends and i never did anything like that.  this understanding the other gender is for the birds



But sexism does exist. If a man walks into a beading class, does he not get treated differently? Does not a man who knits in the bar get treated differently, yet any woman doing these activities would not have a problme with it. In the first example, it would be women being sexist and discriminatory towards men. In teh second it could be either men or women being sexist.

I do not care if women do martial arts or play football. Or a guy wants to ply high school volley ball, (* which in my area is only female *), or what have you. Any separation or discrimination based upon sex can be called sexism. 

As to why guys do crazy things such as hit each other, one could say this is men being men, in proving their worth or strength in society even if theri society is no bigger than their local neighborhood.

And Yes, this is the comedy cafe, and yes I agree the Male Species can be different  . i.e. this poster


----------



## Sarah

Hope you guys arent getting your knickers in a twist here....this thread was just ment for some light hearted fun.

Here's one for the boys:

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]

Every single day, I give thanks to God 
That I was born a man instead of a broad 

I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee 

When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV 



I go to a barber, not a beauty salon 

Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on 

Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts 

I use my turn signal, I understand sports 



Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man 

Tell you the reason I am, man 

I don't go through a phase, every 28 days 

Man, I'm glad I'm a man 



I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons 

Don't take lots of friends when I go the the john 

I don't buy shoes just because they're on sale 

And I don't throw a fit when I break a nail 

Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man 

Tell you the reason I am, man 

I don't face the pain, of water-weight gain 

Man, I'm glad I'm a man 



I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror 

I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer 

I drink beer from a bottle and not from a glass 

I don't ask my friends about the size of my *** 



Oh, I love your fair faces 

And your warm, soft embraces 

And I love those things inside of your blouse 

But if I had boobs, I'd not leave the house 



Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man 

Tell you the reason I am, man 

I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill 

Man, I'm glad I'm a man 



I don't spend hours getting ready for a date 

I don't play with dolls unless they inflate 

After sex in bed, my spot's always dry and 

when someone asks my age, I never lie 



I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines 

I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans 

I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie 

These are probably the same shorts I wore yesterday 



Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man 

Tell you the reason I am, man 

I find Michael Bolton, completely revoltin' 

Man, I'm glad I'm a man [/font]
​


----------



## MA-Caver

:waah: That... that was ... just... beautiful... pure... poetry *sniff* I-I'm a-a-at a l-los-loss for words here. 
Th-thank you Sarah for posting that... oh man, I'm so moved. :waah: 

I-I'm sorry I gotta go lie down for a while. 

*sniff*  :wah:


----------



## KenpoTex

Well I'm not quite to the point where I'm shedding tears(Caver is a sissy  ), but that was pretty good.


----------



## Simon Curran

And can we get an AMEN...


----------



## MA-Caver

kenpotex said:
			
		

> Well I'm not quite to the point where I'm shedding tears(Caver is a sissy  ), but that was pretty good.


I'm not a sissy, I'm a man who's in touch with his feelings... nyaah ~~~


----------



## FUZZYJ692000

MACaver said:
			
		

> I'm not a sissy, I'm a man who's in touch with his feelings... nyaah ~~~




Awww now you all stop picking on MaCaver...he can be in touch with his feminine side.  Sarah me get my knickers in a knot????????????  who me???????  no i would never do that, especially in this forum.


----------



## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> Hope you guys arent getting your knickers in a twist here....this thread was just ment for some light hearted fun.
> 
> Here's one for the boys:
> 
> 
> 
> [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]​
> 
> 
> Every single day, I give thanks to God
> That I was born a man instead of a broad
> 
> I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
> 
> When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
> 
> 
> 
> I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
> 
> Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
> 
> Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
> 
> I use my turn signal, I understand sports
> 
> 
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> 
> Tell you the reason I am, man
> 
> I don't go through a phase, every 28 days
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
> 
> 
> 
> I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
> 
> Don't take lots of friends when I go the the john
> 
> I don't buy shoes just because they're on sale
> 
> And I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> 
> Tell you the reason I am, man
> 
> I don't face the pain, of water-weight gain
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
> 
> 
> 
> I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
> 
> I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
> 
> I drink beer from a bottle and not from a glass
> 
> I don't ask my friends about the size of my ***
> 
> 
> 
> Oh, I love your fair faces
> 
> And your warm, soft embraces
> 
> And I love those things inside of your blouse
> 
> But if I had boobs, I'd not leave the house
> 
> 
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> 
> Tell you the reason I am, man
> 
> I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
> 
> 
> 
> I don't spend hours getting ready for a date
> 
> I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
> 
> After sex in bed, my spot's always dry and
> 
> when someone asks my age, I never lie
> 
> 
> 
> I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
> 
> I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
> 
> I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
> 
> These are probably the same shorts I wore yesterday
> 
> 
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> 
> Tell you the reason I am, man
> 
> I find Michael Bolton, completely revoltin'
> 
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man [/font]


you forgot about how adept we are with technology and computers...:wink1:...remember...we're geeks...hehe.


----------



## someguy

Chronuss said:
			
		

> you forgot about how adept we are with technology and computers...:wink1:...remember...we're geeks...hehe.


Hey I represent that.  I mean resent resent resent.  Ok ok fine I'm a geek.


----------



## Baytor

Being a geek isn't so bad...  Some of us have done pretty well for ouselves, and still find time to be wild and crazy guys.:uhyeah:


----------



## kid

heres a reason why we don't try to understand women, we just accept them as they are.MALE PROCEDURE 

> > > > 

> > > >* 1 Drive up to the cash machine. 

> > > >* 2 Put down your car window. 

> > > >* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 

> > > >* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 

> > > >* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt 

> > > >* 6 Put window up 

> > > >* 7 Drive off 

> > > > 

> > > >FEMALE PROCEDURE 

> > > > 

> > > >* 1 Drive up to cash machine 

> > > >* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to 
machine 

> > > >* 3 Set parking Break, Put the window down 

> > > >* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to 
locate 

>card. 

> > > >* 5 Turn the radio down 

> > > >* 6 Attempt to insert card into machine 

> > > >* 7 Attempt to insert card into machine 

> > > >* 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine 

> > > > due to its excessive distance from the car 

> > > >* 9 Insert card 

> > > >* 10 Re-insert card the right way up 

> > > >* 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on 
the 

> > > > inside back page 

> > > >* 12 Enter PIN. 

> > > >* 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 

> > > >* 14 Enter amount of cash required 

> > > >* 15 Check make up in rear view mirror 

> > > >* 16 Retrieve cash and receipt 

> > > >* 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside 

> > > >* 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook 

> > > >* 19 Re-check make-up again 

> > > >* 20 Drive forwards 2 feet 

> > > >* 21 Reverse back to cash machine 

> > > >* 22 Retrieve card 

> > > >* 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card 

> > > > into the slot provided 

> > > >* 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male 
drivers 

> > > > queuing behind 

> > > >* 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off 

> > > >* 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles 

> > > >* 27 Release Parking Break


----------



## MA-Caver

Baytor said:
			
		

> Being a geek isn't so bad...  Some of us have done pretty well for ouselves, and still find time to be wild and crazy guys.:uhyeah:


Yeah well, how much you wanna bet that he'd still pick it up anyway. He didn't get to where he's making half a million an hour by being stupid.  :uhyeah:


----------



## Baytor

No, he'd PAY someone to pick it up for him.


----------



## FearlessFreep

In defense of geeks everywhere, Bill Gates is *not* a geek.  He's a dumpster diving oppertunistic thief who's parents had money and he got lucky


----------



## Sarah

FearlessFreep said:
			
		

> In defense of geeks everywhere, Bill Gates is *not* a geek. He's a dumpster diving oppertunistic thief who's parents had money and he got lucky


If you're a geek, check this out.....lol

http://www.geekcode.com/geek.html



http://www.geekcode.com/geek.html


----------



## AC_Pilot

Sits on the wind swept rocky ledge, watching the chaos below with mute indifference :ultracool


----------



## MisterMike

FearlessFreep said:
			
		

> In defense of geeks everywhere, Bill Gates is *not* a geek.  He's a dumpster diving oppertunistic thief who's parents had money and he got lucky



Was Apple Computer company that dumpster?


----------



## FearlessFreep

No, when he was still in school, Gates would filch source code listings from the trash for projects he was working on


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## Chronuss

Sarah said:
			
		

> If you're a geek, check this out.....lol
> 
> http://www.geekcode.com/geek.html


let's see....I'm a...

-----BEGIN GEEK BLOCK CODE-----
Version 3.12

GIT>$GCS>$ d-(++) s: a-- C++++ UL+++ P>P++ L+++ E- W++ N o++>++++ K- w++++ O- 
M- V PS PE Y PGP+ t--- 5- X R+(+++) tv+(+++) b++(+++) DI+ D++ G e>e+++ h! r+ y++*

------END GEEK BLOCK CODE------


yeah....I got bored.


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## FUZZYJ692000

kid said:
			
		

> heres a reason why we don't try to understand women, we just accept them as they are.MALE PROCEDURE
> 
> > > > >
> 
> > > > >* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.
> 
> > > > >* 2 Put down your car window.
> 
> > > > >* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 
> > > > >* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 
> > > > >* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
> 
> > > > >* 6 Put window up
> 
> > > > >* 7 Drive off
> 
> > > > >
> 
> > > > >FEMALE PROCEDURE
> 
> > > > >
> 
> > > > >* 1 Drive up to cash machine
> 
> > > > >* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
> machine
> 
> > > > >* 3 Set parking Break, Put the window down
> 
> > > > >* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
> locate
> 
> >card.
> 
> > > > >* 5 Turn the radio down
> 
> > > > >* 6 Attempt to insert card into machine
> 
> > > > >* 7 Attempt to insert card into machine
> 
> > > > >* 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine
> 
> > > > > due to its excessive distance from the car
> 
> > > > >* 9 Insert card
> 
> > > > >* 10 Re-insert card the right way up
> 
> > > > >* 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
> the
> 
> > > > > inside back page
> 
> > > > >* 12 Enter PIN.
> 
> > > > >* 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 
> > > > >* 14 Enter amount of cash required
> 
> > > > >* 15 Check make up in rear view mirror
> 
> > > > >* 16 Retrieve cash and receipt
> 
> > > > >* 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
> 
> > > > >* 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook
> 
> > > > >* 19 Re-check make-up again
> 
> > > > >* 20 Drive forwards 2 feet
> 
> > > > >* 21 Reverse back to cash machine
> 
> > > > >* 22 Retrieve card
> 
> > > > >* 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card
> 
> > > > > into the slot provided
> 
> > > > >* 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
> drivers
> 
> > > > > queuing behind
> 
> > > > >* 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off
> 
> > > > >* 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
> 
> > > > >* 27 Release Parking Break



I work at a bank you have no idea how STUPID people can actually be when they are in the lane or at the ATM.  and talking about parking break, i had the parking break on in my driveway and there's a little hill...well apparently i didn't have it in all the way and um, yea i came out of the house to see it inches it's way backwards down the hill  :idunno:  just my funny little tid-bit today, so i chased after it and jumped inside and was thankful it didn't hit my dad's mustang  :uhyeah:


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