# New Toilet Policy



## Bob Hubbard (Jun 15, 2006)

I think I worked here....



New Toilet Policy   

Staff Notice 

With immediate effect, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for staff, ensuring effective time management and equal treatment for all. On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued 20 toilet trip credits which may be accumulated. 

The doors to all toilets will be equipped with computer-linked voice recognition devices. Staff must immediately provide management with two voiceprints, one normal and one under stress. Once the employee's toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the toilet will not unlock for the employee's voice until the first of the month. 

In addition, all cubicles are to be equipped with timed paper-roll extractors. If the toilet is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds later, the roll of toilet paper will retract into the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the door will open automatically. If the toilet remains occupied, your photograph will be taken by a security camera and will appear on the Toilet Offenders Board. Anyone appearing three times will forfeit three months' toilet trip credits. Anyone caught smiling when the photograph is taken will 
undergo counseling by a clinical psychologist. 

Be advised that workmen's compensation insurance does not cover any injuries incurred while trying to stop the toilet paper retracting into the dispenser.


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## BrandiJo (Jun 15, 2006)

ohhh i wanna go work there! ​


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## GuruJim1 (Jun 15, 2006)

I would give that camera one hell of a pic.:jedi1: I would live in the docs office...LOL.


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## HKphooey (Jun 16, 2006)

That's too funny.  Would make a great episode of "The Office".


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## MA-Caver (Jun 16, 2006)

The hell with that idea... I'd bring my own damn roll of toilet paper!


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Jun 16, 2006)

MA-Caver said:
			
		

> The hell with that idea... I'd bring my own damn roll of toilet paper!


 
...and relieve myself on the bosses desk.


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## Drac (Jun 16, 2006)

If anyone from my department reads this it will be a new policy..


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## Kacey (Jun 16, 2006)

The sad thing is, I can see this happening...  On the other hand, it might be worth investigating it for the kids' bathrooms at the middle school... hmm....:lookie:


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## stone_dragone (Jul 9, 2006)

I think I saw something like this at Fort Rucker's Safety Center...


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