# Deadliest Warriors: The Real Deal (and a bit of a laugh)



## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

While I have yet to watch an episode in it's entirety, someone mentioned to me the "unevenness" in these match-ups, primarily in their waepons. How do you compare a heavy bronze sword against a solid, master-forged katana?

So I decided to take things a step further (and towards a comical perspective). I asked, why not compare more contemporary characters in a fight, instead of just a member of the warrior class from a particular culture.

Her's a few match-ups I'd like to see:

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger's character on Commando) vs John Rambo (Stallone on First Blood)
The Terminator vs RoboCop
Godzilla vs Gamera
Alex Munday vs O-Ren Ishii (both roles played by Lucy Liu)
Clubber Lang vs Apollo Creed
Tag-Team Match-Up: The Five Deadly Venoms vs The Seven Samurai
Michelle Yeoh vs Zhang Ziyi
Chuck Norris vs Van Damme and Segal at the same time (like you didn't that coming)
Any other suggestions?


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## Thesemindz (Apr 19, 2009)

Tango and Cash versus Starsky and Hutch
David Lo Pan versus Lord Voldemort
The Osborns versus the Osmonds


-Rob


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

Thesemindz said:


> Tango and Cash versus Starsky and Hutch
> David Lo Pan versus Lord Voldemort
> The Osborns versus the Osmonds
> 
> ...


Now those are some good match-ups.


Her's a few more:

Urkel vs Screech
Captain Stubing vs Captain Picard
G.I. Jane vs Lara Croft
Doc Savage vs Captain America
A really out of shape guy who can fight vs a very fit guy who's never thrown a punch


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## Thesemindz (Apr 19, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> A really out of shape guy who can fight vs a very fit guy who's never thrown a punch




I got bad news for fit guy.

He's a dead man.


-Rob


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## terryl965 (Apr 19, 2009)

I would love to see the Telltubbies against Sesame Street now that would be  abattle.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

terryl965 said:


> I would love to see the Telltubbies against Sesame Street now that would be abattle.


The whole cast of Sesame Street or just the puppets? If it's the whole cast, Sesame Street has the numbers advantage, and would probably be better suited to take on the Muppets.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

Thesemindz said:


> Tango and Cash versus Starsky and Hutch


I just realized that the winners of that one could take on the winner of Riggs and Murtaugh vs Ponch and Jon


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## terryl965 (Apr 19, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> The whole cast of Sesame Street or just the puppets? If it's the whole cast, Sesame Street has the numbers advantage, and would probably be better suited to take on the Muppets.


 
That is probaly true, how about the Power Rangars against the league of extrodinary Gentleman


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

terryl965 said:


> That is probaly true, how about the Power Rangars against the league of extrodinary Gentleman


I might have to say that the League would have a challenge on their hands considering how many generations of Power Rangers series have been done, but I can see the League take them on.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

Here's one that might be a little old school for a few folks:
James Bond vs Derek Flint


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## Bill Mattocks (Apr 19, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> Here's one that might be a little old school for a few folks:
> James Bond vs Derek Flint



Or, James Bond versus Matt Helm.
Or, James Bond versus The Saint (hmm, especially Roger Moore versus Roger Moore).


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## Bill Mattocks (Apr 19, 2009)

terryl965 said:


> I would love to see the Telltubbies against Sesame Street now that would be  abattle.



I'd like to see the Teletubbies versus a 747 jet engine intake.  You can shove Barney in there too.


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## arnisador (Apr 19, 2009)

Newton vs. Leibniz.


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## Archangel M (Apr 19, 2009)

82nd Airborne vs. Spartans


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## Ronin74 (Apr 19, 2009)

Smokey the Bear vs Chewbacca


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## jarrod (Apr 19, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger's character on Commando) vs John Rambo (Stallone on First Blood)
> *hm....tough one, got to go with rambo based on the experience acquired through three sequels*
> 
> The Terminator vs RoboCop
> ...


 
great idea.

jf


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## Bruno@MT (Apr 20, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Newton vs. Leibniz.



They fought intellectually. Newton won, thanks to his favor with the upper crust.



Bill Mattocks said:


> I'd like to see the Teletubbies versus a 747 jet engine intake.  You can shove Barney in there too.



You and me both.
Though the one redeeming quality is that they soothe my youngest daughter for some bizarre reason.



Ronin74 said:


> G.I. Jane vs Lara Croft
> Alex Munday vs O-Ren Ishii (both roles played by Lucy Liu)
> Any other suggestions?



I don't care who wins. Just let me watch.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 20, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> Chuck Norris vs Van Damme and Segal at the same time (like you didn't that coming)
> Any other suggestions?


 
I think I should've clarified this one a little more. What I meant to say was Chuck Norris pretending he was injured like his character on Way of the Dragon, including the broken neck (we all know that this could never  really happen to Chuck)

versus

Both Van Damme and Segal, while they're leading thier clones portraying every character they ever played in every movie (including Van Damme as that guy dancing in the background of Breakin')

On a sidenote, is it me, or has Seagal gone from portraying a tough cop who does Aikido to an older, fatter tough cop who does Aikido?


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## bluekey88 (Apr 20, 2009)

Tiny Ditka vs. the classic Pittsburgh Steelers Superbowl lineups.

How about some mis-matches?

Rhino vs. Baby (for you penny arcade fans)
Speeding car vs. head of cabbage
Anything "foolproof" vs. a gang of fools

Peace,
Erik


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## arnisador (Apr 20, 2009)

Chicago Bears vs, Chicago Bulls


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## Nomad (Apr 20, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Chicago Bears vs, Chicago Bulls


 
Ditka wins


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## blindsage (Apr 20, 2009)

G-Force (Gatchaman) vs. Voltron
8 is Enough vs. Full House
Remo Williams vs. Bruce Leroy
King Kong vs. Grape Ape
Boss Hog vs. Fat Bastard


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## Xue Sheng (Apr 20, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> Michelle Yeoh vs Zhang Ziyi


 
Must.... resist..... Michelle Yeoh ..... picture..... post 

How about

Zatoichi vs Li Mu Bai...or...
Pliosaur vs Megalodon... or...
Moose and Squirrel vs. Boris and Natasha.... oops sorry that one has been done


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## Tames D (Apr 20, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> On a sidenote, is it me, or has Seagal gone from portraying a tough cop who does Aikido to an older, fatter tough cop who does Aikido?


 
I wonder if anyone has asked him that?


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## Tames D (Apr 20, 2009)

Ok this go's back aways but my sisters would have loved this one.

David Cassidy vs Bobby Sherman.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 20, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Chicago Bears vs, Chicago Bulls


The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, will be a tragedy, not only for the teams involved..." *flips answer card over* "... but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflageration never takes place.


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## arnisador (Apr 20, 2009)

Ah, we have a winner! Good memory, dude.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 20, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Ah, we have a winner! Good memory, dude.


Thanks. I think I'll go celebrate by spending five minutes in the Cheesy Fries Booth... lol


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## Bruno@MT (Apr 21, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> On a sidenote, is it me, or has Seagal gone from portraying a tough cop who does Aikido to an older, fatter tough cop who does Aikido?



No, he has gone from a tough cop who does aikido to a fat cop who does some form of CMA (wing chun?).

And he sucks at it.

He was never much of an actor, but with aikido at least he knew what he was doing. And it showed. There are some nice clips on youtube that show him conducting class and exams.
With CMA he doesn't know what he is doing. And it shows too.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 21, 2009)

Bruno@MT said:


> With CMA he doesn't know what he is doing. And it shows too.


Much like his physical fitness... lol.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 21, 2009)

How about this match-up?

Steven Seagal vs that hotdog eating champion with te six-pack


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## Xue Sheng (Apr 22, 2009)

Grumman F-14 Tomcat vs a Sopwith Camel 

An AH-64 Apache vs a P-51 Mustang 

Barney vs Godzilla


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## Xue Sheng (Apr 22, 2009)

Bambi vs Godzilla
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpBkc2jK-6w


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## arnisador (Apr 22, 2009)

Physicists vs. Chemists!


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## Ronin74 (Apr 22, 2009)

Us vs Them


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## blindsage (Apr 23, 2009)

Darkseid vs. Thanos


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## Omar B (Apr 23, 2009)

blindsage said:


> Darkseid vs. Thanos



Darkseid!

The real fight is

Darkseid V. Imperiex


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## clfsean (Apr 23, 2009)

blindsage said:


> Darkseid vs. Thanos



Thanos... the man assembled the Infinity Gaunlet for cripes sake!!


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## Xue Sheng (Apr 23, 2009)

Chuck Norris vs EVERYONE


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## arnisador (Apr 23, 2009)

42 vs 69!


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## Ronin74 (Apr 24, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> Chuck Norris vs EVERYONE


Isn't that genocide?


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## bluekey88 (Apr 25, 2009)

Nah, Chuck's tears have amazing healign properties....too bad he never cries.  However, once all lif eon the planet was done in by rounhouse kicks...Chuck might have one little tear stream down his cheek (like that old littering ad with the Native American) from this one drop would sring forht new life on Earth in Chuck's image.

This may have happened already. 

Twice.



Peace,
Erik


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## Xue Sheng (Apr 25, 2009)

Ronin74 said:


> Isn't that genocide?


 
I didn't think about that..... oh no....we're all doomed



bluekey88 said:


> Nah, Chuck's tears have amazing healign properties....too bad he never cries. However, once all lif eon the planet was done in by rounhouse kicks...Chuck might have one little tear stream down his cheek (like that old littering ad with the Native American) from this one drop would sring forht new life on Earth in Chuck's image.
> 
> This may have happened already.
> 
> ...


 
:lol:

OK... I feel better now...thanks


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## Ronin74 (Apr 25, 2009)

bluekey88 said:


> Nah, Chuck's tears have amazing healign properties....too bad he never cries. However, once all lif eon the planet was done in by rounhouse kicks...Chuck might have one little tear stream down his cheek (like that old littering ad with the Native American) from this one drop would sring forht new life on Earth in Chuck's image.
> 
> This may have happened already.
> 
> ...


It's also said that Chuck Norris deifnes "love" as "not having the urge to kill". So it can be theorized that if we're alive, it's because Chuck Norris loves us.


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## Ronin74 (Apr 25, 2009)

My favorite Chuck Norris fact:
_Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf._​


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## arnisador (Apr 25, 2009)

Keep the Chuck Norris jokes coming!


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## Ronin74 (Apr 25, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Keep the Chuck Norris jokes coming!


Excuse me? These are FACTS.

LOL:lol:


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## teekin (Apr 25, 2009)

arnisador said:


> 42 vs 69!



Brilliant!!!!!
 l


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## Ronin74 (Apr 25, 2009)

Richard Branson, chairman of Virgin Group Ltd, once considered opening an elite martial arts school headed by Chuck Norris. However, upon further thought he realized that his company would have to just be called "Group Ltd", and decided not to hire Chuck. As a warning to Branson, Chuck roundhoued kicked all of Virgin Megastore's US branches out of business.


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