# Berzerker style fighting.  No, really!



## Jonathan (Dec 31, 2007)

http://www.vikingfighting.com/Default.aspx

I'm cracking up at the site.  I mean, it might be legit for all I know (however unlikely), but every time I read 'Berzerker', I get this image of someone just going ape *** and flailing their arms about while screaming.

That, and I keep singing "Spear and Magic Helmet" from that old Bugs Bunny cartoon.


----------



## crushing (Dec 31, 2007)

The site is hilarious.  Now I've got "Spear and magic helmet.  Spear and magic helmet." going in my head!

Here is another thread on the same:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=53346


----------



## Cryozombie (Dec 31, 2007)

> The "Tactical Warhammer" and the              "Rape the Rapist" are two of the new modules. "Viking Gun Fighting", "Viking              Gun Defense" and "Mug the Mugger" are also new.



LOL.  Viking Gun Defense.  Im certain the Berzerkers of Old were worried about Gun defense.  I know, I know they said it was new... but WTF is a *viking* gun defense?


----------



## Flying Crane (Dec 31, 2007)

This site is actually hilarious.  Read thru the discussion forums and see how he just makes fun of everyone, no matter what they do and what they say.  It's really funny stuff.


----------



## Jonathan (Dec 31, 2007)

Flying Crane said:


> This site is actually hilarious. Read thru the discussion forums and see how he just makes fun of everyone, no matter what they do and what they say. It's really funny stuff.


 
Y'know, I'm inclined to think that he's actually posting as multiple users... note how many are 'convinced' of the art's effectiveness.

All of which just makes it even FUNNIER.


----------



## Flying Crane (Dec 31, 2007)

Jonathan said:


> Y'know, I'm inclined to think that he's actually posting as multiple users... note how many are 'convinced' of the art's effectiveness.
> 
> All of which just makes it even FUNNIER.


 

oh yeah, it's obviously someone's private little joke.  Good stuff!


----------



## terryl965 (Dec 31, 2007)

Now that is funny as hell


----------



## Rich Parsons (Dec 31, 2007)

Cryozombie said:


> LOL.  Viking Gun Defense.  Im certain the Berzerkers of Old were worried about Gun defense.  I know, I know they said it was new... but WTF is a *viking* gun defense?




Hmmm? 

A Viscount is not quiet a count. (* Shhh go with it it will be funny. *)

So a Vi-King is not quiet a King.

Does this make them a queen or a jack or maybe a joker? Either way, they are a few cards short of a full deck? 


I would have to see a lot of comparison of a knife/dagger technique used in gun defense. And even then, I would still be thinking hmmm, to myself?


----------



## searcher (Jan 1, 2008)

I am having trouble stopping laughing long enought to type this.    Absolutely hilarious.


----------



## arnisador (Jan 1, 2008)

It takes all kinds!


----------



## MantisStyle21 (Jan 23, 2008)

Lol wow that is absolutely hilarious, I wonder what one of his seminars are like hahahahahahaa.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Jan 23, 2008)

:lol:

"Viking Battlefield & Raiding Tactics" now there is something useful for the 21st century. 

Do they supply the long boat?


----------



## Shuto (Jan 23, 2008)

Great Berserker site.  Thanks for posting it.


----------



## Steel Tiger (Jan 23, 2008)

Flying Crane said:


> This site is actually hilarious. Read thru the discussion forums and see how he just makes fun of everyone, no matter what they do and what they say. It's really funny stuff.


 
It's fantastically funny.  It's great to see how if you don't do Berserkere training and worship the founder as a god you're gay.  I got the definite impression that Sven Svenson (or whatever his name is, I don't really care) is about 9 feet tall and wanders through Norway with a huge battleaxe in each hand. 

I wonder if there rankings are denoted by helmets with progressively bigger horns?


----------



## tellner (Jan 23, 2008)

If it were American I'd call it Cheez-Whiz on a cracker. 
Since it's Scandinavian I'll just have to call it hákarl on lefsa :wink:

Besides, they get so much wrong. The Baresarks were also called "Odin's men". They were devoted to the All-Father, not Thor who was more concerned with rain and fish. A Viking martial art which doesn't include the spear or the single-bitted axe but does use the war-hammer? Scandinavian fighting that doesn't include the holmgang? No wrestling? Horned helmets?

It's funny, but the joke could be done better.
_
Note: For those of you who don't know what hákarl is, it's rotted shark and quite the traditional delicacy in Iceland. The Blue Shark has toxic levels of cyanic acid. If you leave it to decay for a few months it breaks down. There are some foods which even make the Lutefisk McMuffin sound good 
:barf:_


----------



## tellner (Jan 23, 2008)

Steel Tiger said:


> It's great to see how if you don't do Berserkere training and worship the founder as a god you're gay.



Actually the worshiping ol' Sven bit ties into the the gay aspect.



> I wonder if there rankings are denoted by helmets with progressively bigger horns?



I'm betting that anyone who buys into this needs, err, horn augmenting extenders...


----------



## Steel Tiger (Jan 23, 2008)

tellner said:


> I'm betting that anyone who buys into this needs, err, horn augmenting extenders...


 
:lfao:


----------



## Xue Sheng (Jan 23, 2008)

:viking3:

I don't know it just seemed like perfect place for this smiley thingy


----------



## exile (Jan 23, 2008)

tellner said:


> It's funny, but the joke could be done better.
> [/I]



Yeah, but... 'Berzerker Body Toning'?? 'Viking Anger Management'? ??? ???

I mean, if it were done any better it would be fatal! :lol:

Hmmmm... 'Berserzker Humor Weapons: Jokes That Make 'Em Die Laughing'...


----------



## Cirdan (Jan 24, 2008)

Making fun of your betters again are you, filthy spawn of Yme`s ampits! By Frøy`s golden pig, we virile vikings need no horn extensions. Horned helmets are only for cermonial use. As soon as we are done honoring Odin by pouring fresh blood on his image and eating raw horse meat we will set sail to burn your pitiful towns and take thralls and frilles. When you die your soul won`t be picked up by the Valkyrie, it will go down to Helheim where poison will forever drip on your head. Tremble in fear, weakling men!


----------



## jim777 (Jan 25, 2008)

there are great quotes everywhere :lol:

"A lot of people say that biting doesn't work in combat. Well, ask them again after I've bitten their nuts off! The Vikings used biting a lot  and trust me, it works! "

"If you knew what I could do to you with a frozen carrot, you'd be very afraid right now."

Awesome stuff


----------



## Xue Sheng (Jan 25, 2008)

I'm sorry but after much thought I must say this Berzerker style just pales in comparison to LLAP-GOCH

:viking3::viking2::viking1:


----------

