# goodbye



## rachel (May 8, 2003)

I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I think I'm giving up karate. I've just lost my enthusiasm for it. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. You all have been very helpful and nice to me and I appreciate it. I'm sorry I wasted your time.   Rachel


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## Eggman (May 8, 2003)

If thats the case good luck, but werent you about ready to start sparring, what happened?


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## MartialArtsGuy (May 8, 2003)

thats a bummer, is it martial arts all together or just what you are taking. if its just what you are taking than i recommend finding a different system that is more to your liking and meets your needs. How about kickboxing. its a great work out and can be used for self defense. Maybe a fresh perspective is what you need. I could be wrong but maybe ill be helpfull.


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## Chuck (May 8, 2003)

OK, goodbye if you must. We all hit plateaus that have us thinking it  is time to layoff, for a while or for good.

I hit them frequently. At 51 my body does not respond well to hard training. I force myself into the Dojang and dig in. 

Of course I din't think that you have to be actively practicing a martial art to be a member of this site. 

So maybe not "goodbye", but "see ya later".

Best of fortune to you.

Chuck


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## D_Brady (May 8, 2003)

You do what ya gotta do, But if you ever want to make a road trip up to Mass to work out on a saturday. Look me and katgurl up at Progressive Martial Arts. On saturday American Kenpo and systema, you know just in case you need to get rid of some stress.

 Best of luck in what ever you do and where ever you go, and if your ever around call us or PM.

 Dan Brady.:asian:


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## RCastillo (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I think I'm giving up karate. I've just lost my enthusiasm for it. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. You all have been very helpful and nice to me and I appreciate it. I'm sorry I wasted your time.   Rachel *



Don't quit, please. There must be someone out there than can rekindle your enthusiasm! There is room in your life for that. Please reconsider!


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## satans.barber (May 8, 2003)

That's a shame 

But, you can always jump right back in in a couple of years if you miss it and you want to!

Ian


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## Ginsu (May 8, 2003)

Rachel,
You must follow your own road and if leaving the martial arts now is what you feel you have to do then do it. However do not think that you waisted anyone's time here and certainly not your own.

You take with you some valuable lessons and material that will never leave  you and as long you have been learning in your school and here you have not waisted anyone's time.

Plus your Kempo will always be a part of you and it will be there when you find the desire to pick it up and learn again.

_Ginsu_


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## Big Pat (May 8, 2003)

With all due respect I don't think you wasted anyone's time by being a particpant on this forum. Everyone expands their Kenpo knowledge by the questions and answers given here. Best of luck to you in your journey.
:asian: 
EKP RIP 
Big Pat


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## arnisador (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Big Pat _
> *With all due respect I don't think you wasted anyone's time by being a particpant on this forum. *



Agreed. Good luck!


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## KenpoDragon (May 8, 2003)

Sorry....Rachel that I never had the opportunity to talk to you,good luck with whatever choices you make.I don't think anything that you truly put your heart in to is a waste of time.Hope you come back to the Kenpo/Kempo family,we'll miss you.:asian: 


                                                       With honor and respect,  
                                                                            KenpoDragon

                                   Salutation for our sister.:wavey:


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## cdhall (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I think I'm giving up karate. I've just lost my enthusiasm for it. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. You all have been very helpful and nice to me and I appreciate it. I'm sorry I wasted your time.   Rachel *



Rachel,

I don't scour the boards much but you did not waste my time. I enjoyed seeing your progress and enthusiasm.

I'd like to know why you dropped out. PM me if you like.  I hope you can stay focused on what you want even if it is not some type of karate.
:asian:


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## jfarnsworth (May 8, 2003)

I'm sorry to hear you have to leave the arts  . Keep it close to your heart and if you feel it start to rekindle again then try once again. :asian: :asian: 

Salute,
:asian:


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## yilisifu (May 8, 2003)

Our time was never wasted with you.  I know that life sometimes makes things very difficult and it's easy for us to lose our enthusiasm for some things that we love.  Think before you jump.  We're all always here to help in any ways we can!


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## theletch1 (May 9, 2003)

Rachel, I think detect something besides a loss of enthusiasm.  I've seen myself thinking the exact same thing a few times in my MA lifetime and it was never truly a loss of enthusiasm.  Something happen at the school?  Instructor allowing things outside the dojo/kwoon to affect the way he teaches?  Anything like that?  I've read quite a few of your posts and cannot believe someone with such a vibrant love for the art could just lose the enthusiasm for it.  I came so close to quitting recently that I folded my gi and belt and put them in a box.  I was disillusioned with all martial arts because of the actions of one instructor.  After some serious thought I realized that martial arts was too much a part of me to just lose interest.  Take a break if you must, change styles if you must but certainly reconsider leaving the MAs all together.  For myself, an instructor change was called for and that change required an art change.  I left my beloved kenpo and now study nihon goshin aikido.  I love it and the way Sensei teaches.  If my kenpo instructor had taught the same way I would have still been doing kenpo.  Just a few thougts that popped into my head.  Feel free to PM me if there is anything I can help with.


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## Posiview (May 9, 2003)

Don't quit - just take a break!

Take 6 month off and reassess your circumstances; then, perhaps visit a few other dojos/look into a few different styles ((((Ju jitsu!))) and see how you feel!!

Best wishes............

Andy Sheader


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## rachel (May 9, 2003)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *Rachel, I think detect something besides a loss of enthusiasm.  I've seen myself thinking the exact same thing a few times in my MA lifetime and it was never truly a loss of enthusiasm.  Something happen at the school?  Instructor allowing things outside the dojo/kwoon to affect the way he teaches?  Anything like that?  I've read quite a few of your posts and cannot believe someone with such a vibrant love for the art could just lose the enthusiasm for it.  I came so close to quitting recently that I folded my gi and belt and put them in a box.  I was disillusioned with all martial arts because of the actions of one instructor.  After some serious thought I realized that martial arts was too much a part of me to just lose interest.  Take a break if you must, change styles if you must but certainly reconsider leaving the MAs all together.  For myself, an instructor change was called for and that change required an art change.  I left my beloved kenpo and now study nihon goshin aikido.  I love it and the way Sensei teaches.  If my kenpo instructor had taught the same way I would have still been doing kenpo.  Just a few thougts that popped into my head.  Feel free to PM me if there is anything I can help with. *


 You're right. I've been doing some serious thinking. I really don't want to give up the second most important thing in my life. My daughter is number one. I have a big personal problem I'm trying to resolve(impending divorce) and it is obviously stressing me but I know karate is a stabilizing force for me. I need it. It's given me the strength to stand up and say This relationship is not heal;thy.My teacher is not the problem. He's a very nice person and a good teacher. He doesn't know what's going on with my private life. My problem is maybe affording it down the road but I'll work it out. So many of you have said karate was there when nothing else was in your lives and I see that now  . Stopping my training would be very foolish so I'll keep with it as long as I can.


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## Posiview (May 9, 2003)

Yippee!!!!

:cheers: 

Andy Sheader


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## arnisador (May 9, 2003)

Most instructors will find a way to work this out for you (temporary financial issues).


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## pineapple head (May 9, 2003)

Hey Rachel,

I have been there also.
I have had a LOT of personal problems lately and felt like given up Kenpo...why ..i think to punish myself ..to feel sorry for myself.
I was so sick i decided to take away something that i love doing.
I resisted this temptation and went to class, half heartadly most of the time but i made the effort to go.
I am pleased i did as i feel a much stronger person now , Kenpo has made a great impact on my life.
Tell your instuctor your problems , it really helps , believe me.
My instructor gave me some great advice and most of all listened to all my moans and groans.
I hope you sort it all out.

Gary.    :asian:


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## Kenpomachine (May 9, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Big Pat _
> *With all due respect I don't think you wasted anyone's time by being a particpant on this forum. Everyone expands their Kenpo knowledge by the questions and answers given here. Best of luck to you in your journey.
> :asian:
> EKP RIP
> Big Pat *



So true, and even of you leave kenpo, please, don't leave MT, you're great and we will sincerely miss you.

Lucía


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## Kenpomachine (May 9, 2003)

> _Originally posted by arnisador _
> *Most instructors will find a way to work this out for you (temporary financial issues). *



Yes, talk to him about this problem. Or even if you don't want to, try to gather with some friends from your school to train now and then.


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## Chuck (May 9, 2003)

Yay. Stick with it. Yeah. Talk to your instructor. Our's is always willing to listen and suggest ideas for difficulties. 

It's good to hear this. 

Chuck


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## TLH3rdDan (May 9, 2003)

glad to see your not giving up... but i would suggest talking to your instructor about it... i had a similar situation at my old school where three of my students were about to have to quit because of it... a mom and her two kids... martial arts also gave her the strength to stand up and say that the relationship was no good and it also gave the kids a place to learn self disipline and be around positive up beat people and make new friends so when she said she would have to quit because she could not afford to pay for the classes i simply told her that was not a problem... that she and the kids could continue classes for free if she would help out with making calls to parents and other classmates that had been absent, or other administrative tasks around the school. worked out great... so try talking to you instructor


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## rachel (May 9, 2003)

As nice as my instructor is, I could never tell him what's going on in my life or ask him to let me slide on some payments. I just couldn't do it. I'd leave first. Hopefully it won't come down to that choice.It would be too embarrassing.


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## Robbo (May 9, 2003)

Hey Rachel

Good choice to stay with it. There are other ways to continue training beside monetary payment. Maybe he'd let you take it out in trade. Babysitting, cleaning, administrative duties, etc.

If someone really wants to study usually the instructor will regognize this and be very accomodating.

Rob


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## Michael Billings (May 9, 2003)

I encourage you talk to your teacher at some point, just to keep him in the loop.   There are lots of options available to him/her that you may not be aware of.  I have done everything from a sliding fee scale to scholarships, or partial scholarships for people who could not afford to be in my school, but who I had invested time, energy, resources, and they had paid that back with their enthusiasm and committment - notice I did not say ability.  This is something I would probably not offer a newby, but with the time you have in, your instructor may value your perserverance, ability, and personality.

I have had people pay tuition on a barter system.  Anything from signs to trading lessons for massages; to preparing taxes, or helping teach (warm up the kids) or keeping the school clean.  You never can tell, but if you don't talk to your teacher, he/she will never know, or be able to offer you any options ... if in fact there are any.  They could be left wondering why you left?  Was it anything they did?  Or could it have been a situation at the school that could be improved?  Etc. 

Yours in Kenpo,
-Michael


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## webpage20022003 (May 10, 2003)

the title of this thread is goodbye. How come i see this thread keeps going and going????


just a joke


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## Seig (May 10, 2003)

Rachel,
I have to agree with the others that have said to talk to your instructor.  If you just leave without telling him why, it will cause bad feelings.  It _could_ also have him say negative things to other instructors about you.  Please, for both your sakes, talk to him  He may just surprise you with compassion and understanding.  Like some others have stated, most school owners, when faced with the prospect of loosing a student they value, will work something out with you.


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## don bohrer (May 11, 2003)

Rachel,
There's some good advice being given here! Money isn't everything. I think your instructor would rather have you attending the school even if you couldn't pay for some time. I bet he'll understand if you give him a chance.


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## webpage20022003 (May 11, 2003)

what did your instructor say when you told him that you will leave his dojo? did he ask you why?

you can ask your buddy in the dojo to practice with you after the class so that you can learn new material from them. They enhance their skills and you do too


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## Kroy (May 11, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *You're right. I've been doing some serious thinking. I really don't want to give up the second most important thing in my life. My daughter is number one. I have a big personal problem I'm trying to resolve(impending divorce) and it is obviously stressing me but I know karate is a stabilizing force for me. I need it. It's given me the strength to stand up and say This relationship is not heal;thy.My teacher is not the problem. He's a very nice person and a good teacher. He doesn't know what's going on with my private life. My problem is maybe affording it down the road but I'll work it out. So many of you have said karate was there when nothing else was in your lives and I see that now  . Stopping my training would be very foolish so I'll keep with it as long as I can. *



Hey, Hey. Three cheers for Rachel. It would have been a great loss if you had to leave. Some of the most rewarding things in my life came about because of Karate and I came close to quitting a couple of times(sure glad I didnt). I agree with the other guy's, I would talk to my instructor and let him know your situation, you wont have to ask him for help...I just know he'll give it. And I understand completely when you say that your daughter comes first. Keep on kicking.:asian:


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## yilisifu (May 11, 2003)

I am so pleased that you have decided to stay with us!  Don't keep your instructor "out of the loop."  Let him know what's going on.  He's probably already seen that SOMETHING is different and I imagine he's wondering what's going on.

Just tell him that finances may be tight for a while.  You may be surprised at his response.  Don't just drop out if the money gets to be a problem.  If your teacher knows your situation and he's a good person, things will work out fine.

Right now, I imagine you really NEED martial arts.  For YOURSELF.  You have to take care of YOU because YOU take care of your little girl and she desperately needs you - and needs for you to take care of yourself.  If you don't, no one else will.

   All of us are always here.  If you need help, don't hesitate to ask.


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## Yari (May 12, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> * I'm sorry I wasted your time.   Rachel *



Time spent in MA is never wasted.

I had a teacher that said to do Zen 1 second in your whole life will change your life to something better. That's the way I feel about MA, and I think you been given something valuable, and it'll be with you all the way.

Take care, and be honest to yourself.

/Yari


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## Nightingale (May 12, 2003)

Rachel:

Talk To Your Instructor.  If you feel strange explaining the situation, you don't have to say much beyond "I'm having some difficult marital and financial issues at the moment..." and go in with an offer of what else you can do for the school... Observe the studio and watch what needs to be done and what you see your instructor doing before and after class.  Does he vacuum? clean the windows? mail out notices for students needing to pay their fees?  Offer to do stuff like this in exchange for a discount rather than a freebie.

Best of luck!!!

-N-


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## shoshiman (May 12, 2003)

Hi Rachel,

Sorry to hear about your life problems.  Hopefully, it will get resolved as quickly and painless as possible.  and find a way to continue your training unabated.

I wish you strong resolve, and happiness in the future.

Peace and Respect :asian: 

Shoshiman
PS  Please do not think that you've wasted anyone's time.  It has been productive the time you spent here and in the dojo.


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## Touch Of Death (May 12, 2003)

Rachel,
Your young in the art. I think you will find that no matter how many problems you face, your karate school is the one place you can come to escape or better said to concentratate on the physical you instead of the divorced,depressed, or overwhelmed you. 
    Sean


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## D.Cobb (May 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *You're right. I've been doing some serious thinking. I really don't want to give up the second most important thing in my life. My daughter is number one. I have a big personal problem I'm trying to resolve(impending divorce) and it is obviously stressing me but I know karate is a stabilizing force for me. I need it. It's given me the strength to stand up and say This relationship is not heal;thy.My teacher is not the problem. He's a very nice person and a good teacher. He doesn't know what's going on with my private life. My problem is maybe affording it down the road but I'll work it out. So many of you have said karate was there when nothing else was in your lives and I see that now  . Stopping my training would be very foolish so I'll keep with it as long as I can. *



If it's a money thing you are worried about, and your teacher is as good as you make him seem on here, then talk to him, maybe you will be able to work something out. It has been my experience in my short 17 years in the arts, that the truly good instructors aren't really interested in the $$$$, so long as they can pay for their premises and such.
I could give you a great long post on all the truly fantastic things I have recieved due to my karate training, and how my life is truely blessed, but youd get bored and the moderators would have to snip my post for taking up too much space. 
Suffice to say if you have the passion, the way will appear. Of that I am certain.
Oh and by the way, you have never wasted our time here.

--Dave

:asian:


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## stacks (May 19, 2003)

goodbye , sorry to see you go  , I'm hopefull that when you get things sorted out that you will look into the arts once again. 

respectfully yours 
Stacks


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## Randy Strausbaugh (May 20, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *As nice as my instructor is, I could never tell him what's going on in my life or ask him to let me slide on some payments. I just couldn't do it. I'd leave first. Hopefully it won't come down to that choice.It would be too embarrassing. *


Rachel, I'm glad to see you're staying in the arts.  Looking through this thread, I see lots of excellent advise from people who care about you.  Please give your instructor credit for being just as caring.  I know that financial and personal stresses can play havoc on your life and your training (BOY, do I know), but your posts indicate that you're an intellegent and thoughtful person, one who has more inner strength than she realizes.  Keep your head up, tap that strength, and don't be too embarrassed to take a little help once in a while-just to get you through.  And please let us know how you're doing.  Even though you've probably never met most of us, you obviously have friends here.

All the best to you and your daughter,
Randy Strausbaugh


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## donald (Jul 26, 2003)

Hey kid everyone has issues to deal with, and karate can be a good place to release pent up frustrations, but it can not heal a heart. I challenge you to pick up your bible, and ask The Lord Jesus to help you find His help. I know some are going to get bent out of shape regarding my post,but if your helped, so be it.

Salute in Christ :asian:


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## Goldendragon7 (Jul 26, 2003)

How are  you doing and what are you doing?

:idunno:


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## Kirk (Jul 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Goldendragon7 _
> *How are  you doing and what are you doing?
> 
> :idunno: *



She just picked up her blue belt.


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## Goldendragon7 (Jul 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *She just picked up her blue belt.
> *



Wow, thanks Kirk..... seems to be moving along fast for a goodby girl.....lol


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## Les (Jul 27, 2003)

Rachael,

Do try to speak to your Instructor.

You certainly won't be the first student who has had difficulty financing classes. Any instructor 'worth their salt' will be able to come up with some ideas to keep you in the line up.

Over the years my Instructor has had to 'go with the flow' with me on many occasions.

Les


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