# "You Ruined My Pictures"



## Bob Hubbard (Jul 2, 2010)

*I'm so not opening a photo lab, lol.
*

*
*

*Professional Photography*

Photo  Lab | Washington, USA
_(Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes  and Ive been working on other orders.)_
*Customer:* Hey! 
_(The customer taps envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my  attention.) _
*Me:* Yes sir?
*Customer:*  You ruined my pictures! _*throws  pictures on the
counter*_
*Me:* Sir, they look fine to me.
*Customer:* You put your fingers in my pictures!
*Me:* Thats impossible sir, theres no way my  fingers could be in your pictures.
*Customer:* They stuck them in the way when you were  printing them.
*Me:* No sir, the way our machine works that just  cant happen.  The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if  whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in  the shot.
*Customer:* Well, Im a professional and I took all  these pictures so I know it wasnt me.  It has to be your fingers!
*Me:* Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?
*Customer:* _*looks annoyed and confused*_  No
*Me:* Theyre not my fingers then.
_(This continued for another 15 minutes, with the customer  complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that  very obviously resembled a camera strap.)_


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## MBuzzy (Jul 2, 2010)

WOW....I'd like to know how it resolved.  And I wonder ho loosely he was using the term professional?


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## Bill Mattocks (Jul 2, 2010)

What is this 'film' stuff?


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 2, 2010)

OK OK

It was me... I put my fingers in his pictures...And it was easy too with all that extensive Pirate/Ninja irate4::ninja: training I have had over the years


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 2, 2010)

I've had problems with prints being too dark, but never had the lab add fingers, unless I asked.


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## Jade Tigress (Jul 2, 2010)

Even a "non-professional" photographer should understand that. What an idiot...


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## jks9199 (Jul 2, 2010)

I would think that the process of adding fingers in most photo labs would be a tad injurious to the lab techs...  and it'd be just a little obvious whose fingers they were!


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## Jade Tigress (Jul 2, 2010)

jks9199 said:


> I would think that the process of adding fingers in most photo labs would be a tad injurious to the lab techs...  and it'd be just a little obvious whose fingers they were!



I was thinking the same thing Jim, you just managed to articulate for me!


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 2, 2010)

two words

Adobe Photoshop


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## MA-Caver (Jul 2, 2010)

Xue Sheng said:


> two words
> 
> Adobe Photoshop


(got ya beat...) One word... GIMP (and it's free)... :lol: 

Again that was hilarious Bob... *loved* especially



> *Customer:* Well, Im a professional and I took all  these  pictures so I know it wasnt me.  It has to be your fingers!
> *Me:* Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?
> *Customer:* _*looks annoyed and confused*_  No
> *Me:* Theyre not my fingers then.


Classic smart-*** comeback! 

Yep folks... Bob proves to us once again... *they walk among us! *


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 2, 2010)




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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Someone Needs To Go Back To School*

Photography Studio | Arizona, USA
*Me:* &#8220;Photography studio, how may I help you?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Yeah, hi, I just received a second  notice&#8230;&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;&#8230; for your yearbook session?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Yeah, well, for my daughter. I&#8217;m just  calling to see if this is a scam.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;No, ma&#8217;am, we work with your daughter&#8217;s high  school. If she doesn&#8217;t have her photo taken within the next three weeks,  it won&#8217;t appear in the yearbook.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Oh&#8230; so do you offer a class?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Excuse me?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;You know, a class for parents who don&#8217;t  really understand this whole process?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Well it&#8217;s really not that complicated. Your  daughter just has to come to the studio and have her picture taken. It  will probably only last twenty minutes. If you want more information on  the sessions we sent out brochures with the first notice or you can go  to our website.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;So&#8230; you don&#8217;t offer a class?&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Maybe That&#8217;s Her Good Side*

Photo  Lab | Turnersville, NJ, USA
*Customer:* &#8220;Do you take passport photos?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Yes we do. Do you want one taken?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Yes, please.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Okay, ma&#8217;am. Just stand in front of the screen,  please, and I&#8217;ll take your photo.&#8221;
_(She walks up and stands in front of the white screen; she&#8217;s  facing the background with her back towards me. My coworkers can barely  keep it together at this point.)_
*Me:* &#8220;Ma&#8217;am, you&#8217;re going to have to turn around if  you don&#8217;t want the back of your head on your passport.&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Must Be One Of Them Transdimensional Cameras*

Photo Lab | Maryland, USA
*Customer:* &#8220;Hi, I&#8217;m here to pick up my pictures.&#8221;
_(I grab the customer&#8217;s pictures and she proceeds to look through  them. She then hands one of the pictures to me.)_
*Customer:* &#8220;Can you print this the other way?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;The other way?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Yes, flip it around.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Okay&#8230;&#8221; 
_(Confused, I go into the lab, insert the film negative into the  machine upside down and print a mirrored image for the customer.)_
*Me:*¬&#8224;&#8221;Here you go!&#8221;
*Customer:*¬&#8224;&#8221;No, no, no. Flip it around!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I did. See, it&#8217;s mirrored.&#8221;
*Customer:*¬&#8224;&#8221;No, no, no. My husband took the  picture.¬&#8224;Can you flip it around and print him?&#8221;
*Me:*¬&#8224;&#8221;&#8230;&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Just, Like, Smile And Nod*

Photo  Lab | Delafield, WI, USA
_(A bubbly teenager walks up to the counter with a roll of film  in her hand.)_
*Me:* &#8220;Hi, how can I help you?&#8221;
*Teenage customer:* &#8220;Like, how long does it, like,  take to do one hour photo?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;About 60 minutes.&#8221;
*Teenage customer:* &#8220;Really?! Like, oh my gawd!  That&#8217;s, like, so totally cool! Wait &#8217;til I tell my mom it&#8217;s, like,  totally not gonna take an hour!&#8221;
*Me:* _*smiles*_


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Forensics For Dummies*

Photo  Lab | Atlanta, GA, USA
*Me:* &#8220;Hi, what can I do for you?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;I have this group photo. Can you scan it  and cut people out?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Yes, to an extent.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;I want the people in the front row taken  out so I can see what the guy in the back row is wearing.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Um, it doesn&#8217;t work like that.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Why not? He&#8217;s standing right there! If  you take these people away, you can see all of him!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;If I remove these people from the photo, all  that will be left is nothing. Photos are two dimensional, not three  dimensional.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;That&#8217;s not true! I&#8217;ve seen &#8216;em do it on  CSI!&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Imperceptions On Imperfections*

Portrait  Studio | Bay Area, CA, USA
_(A customer comes in to pick up the portraits of her daughter  she ordered. I go through the order with her to verify everything is  there.)_
*Customer:* &#8220;What is this on my daughter&#8217;s face!?&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Well, it looks like her skin has a red mark below her  eye.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;No! She doesn&#8217;t! She looked perfect when we came in  and I didn&#8217;t see this on the computer before. You did something to  them!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry you&#8217;re unhappy, but the photographs are exactly  as they appear on the ordering screen. Also, this mark is on her face  in the same spot in every pose, so it couldn&#8217;t be a printing problem.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Well, no. You&#8217;re wrong. You did something to them.  my daughter is perfect!&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Copyright Meets Copywrong, Part 2*

Office Supply Store | Dallas, TX, USA
_(I am creating a business card for a customer. She hands me a  picture to scan to use on the card.)_
*Me:* &#8220;Ma&#8217;am, this photo is copyrighted by whoever took it.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Oh, that&#8217;s okay. You can still use it.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, but I can&#8217;t use it without the permission of  the photographer.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Oh. Well you can just cross out the copyright on  the back of the picture and then use it! It&#8217;ll be okay.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Do you have another picture you would like to use?&#8221;
_(She hands me the same picture but with a piece of paper taped  over the copyright on the back.)_
*Customer:* &#8220;Here. Now you can use it.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Ma&#8217;am, just because the copyright is covered now doesn&#8217;t  mean it&#8217;s not copyrighted anymore. We could be fined $50,000 if we used  this. If you can get the permission of the person who took this or  another picture we can do this for you.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;What kind of business is this?&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

Side note to *Copyright Meets Copywrong, Part 2:
*I've had a number of people hand me other photographers work, or stuff that was just snagged off the net somewhere and expect me to use it for their web sites.  There is unfortunately a serious lack of understanding about copyright and usage, as a scan through a lot of fliers will clearly show.

For more on this...keep reading....


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*(Copyright) Piracy On The Seventy Seas*

Retail | USA
*Customer:* &#8220;I&#8217;d like three copies of this photo, please.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I&#8217;m very sorry, sir, but this we can&#8217;t copy this. It&#8217;s a  professionally taken photo.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;What?! It was taken on a cruise ship 3 years ago!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I apologize, sir, but we&#8217;re not allowed to copy  professional photos without the photographer&#8217;s consent.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;It was taken on a cruise ship 5 years ago! What  does the law have to do with anything!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Sir, the government could fine us fifteen-thousand  dollars for going against the copyright on those photos. The law gives  the photographer legal ownership of those photos for seventy years.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Well, it&#8217;s been seven!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;I said seventy.&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Well, seventy then!&#8221;


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## jks9199 (Jul 3, 2010)

Bob Hubbard said:


> *Forensics For Dummies*
> 
> 
> *Customer:* Thats not true! Ive seen em do it on  CSI!



I *despise* and loathe that phrase.

I'm sorry, but I lack a script writer and editor (or they're drunken practical jokers...) who can make a test that takes weeks -- if it works -- to get results be not only done, but give a perfect result, in minutes...

I can't stare at a fingerprint in the field and identify the owner.  Not even with a jeweler's loupe.

And we don't have computers that can pull usable, identifiable images from no data...


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## Jade Tigress (Jul 4, 2010)

I had GIMP on my old computer, didn't like it, couldn't figure it out, tried to remove it and couldn't. I don't want to download it on my new computer. Anyone else really like it?


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 4, 2010)

Can't stand GIMP myself.  It's free, it's powerful, and it's just not Photoshop. lol


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## jks9199 (Jul 4, 2010)

In a lot of ways, it seems like GIMP is almost too powerful...  If you aren't a graphic designer, half of what it can do is in the "gee whiz" frame.  But you can find scripts to run to do a lot of things easily, too.


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## MBuzzy (Jul 4, 2010)

jks9199 said:


> I *despise* and loathe that phrase.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I lack a script writer and editor (or they're drunken practical jokers...) who can make a test that takes weeks -- if it works -- to get results be not only done, but give a perfect result, in minutes...
> 
> ...



It is the same concept as a magician though, 5% of the people in the audience figure out the trick and 95% are amazed.  With CSI, 5% of the people watching know that it is bullcrap and 95% think it is the coolest thing in the world and that's really all that the writers care about.

They did that with a Chem detector a few years ago.  The First Defender....they used it all wrong....


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## BlueDragon1981 (Jul 19, 2010)

I used to work at a big chain store that develops photos. People got plenty pissed about the copyright issue. Why some people are even allowed to have camera's is beyond me also, it was one of the most aggravating things arguing with those customers when our rules and copyright rules were post all around the photo lab.


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## CoryKS (Jul 19, 2010)

Bob Hubbard said:


> *I'm so not opening a photo lab, lol.*
> 
> *Professional Photography*
> 
> ...


 
"Then it couldn't have been me, sir.  I never insert _fingers_ into the pictures."


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 19, 2010)

Lol!


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