# Dungeons and Dragons humor



## Grenadier (Dec 12, 2007)

For those of you who play, or have played the game of Dungeons and Dragons, here's a bit of humor for you.  

A group of adventurers were debating about what tactics they were going to use to destroy a demi-lich, which is essentially nothing more than a floating skull that can blast your entire party with unpleasant magical effects, being the remnants of a lich (skeletal mage).  

One of the players in the group says "Well, I'm a paladin, so I'm going to use my 'Smite Evil' power on him to deal out some more damage than any of you could.  Therefore, I'm going to smite his ***."  

One of the other players in the group, being a Wizard, says "Uh, that's not going to work."

The paladin then angrily demands "Why not?!?" 

The wizard says "he doesn't have one..."


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## MA-Caver (Dec 12, 2007)

Oh you slay me... hoo hee ha ha ... wheee... 


(that was an okay joke)


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## JBrainard (Dec 12, 2007)

*Big sigh*


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## SFC JeffJ (Dec 12, 2007)

Been years since I heard that one!


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## terryl965 (Dec 12, 2007)

That is almost as old as me, but still very funny


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## arnisador (Dec 12, 2007)

Heh! Been there, said that!


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## Rich Parsons (Dec 12, 2007)

Hmmmm, I thought (* From expereince *) 

Wizard: "Wait!  Let me see if I can trade him for a new spell first."


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## Kreth (Dec 12, 2007)

I'm shocked and offended that a Paladin would utter the word ***. :uhoh:


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## Cirdan (Dec 14, 2007)

Kreth said:


> I'm shocked and offended that a Paladin would utter the word ***. :uhoh:


 
I am not. I once heard a paladin say this: 
" I need to pay the curch it`s cut from the treasure we found. Where is that f(beep)ing temple again?"


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## Carol (Dec 14, 2007)

:idunno: Must have been a Ravenloft paladin.


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## Cirdan (Dec 14, 2007)

I just think this guy had a problem keeping the paladin and his own personality separate.. one time when buying a new set of armor he reached for his wallet and tried to pay the gamemaster (me) in real cash


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## Carol (Dec 14, 2007)

Now that's just scary.

Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL!  Just kidding...


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## Cirdan (Dec 14, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL! Just kidding...


 
Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.

Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.


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## Andy Moynihan (Dec 14, 2007)

Cirdan said:


> Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.
> 
> Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.


 

Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.


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## bushidomartialarts (Dec 14, 2007)

Funny.

And who remembers the head of vecna?


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## SFC JeffJ (Dec 14, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> Funny.
> 
> And who remembers the head of vecna?


Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, unless your name is Vecna.


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## Doc_Jude (Dec 14, 2007)

SFC JeffJ said:


> Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, unless your name is Vecna.



I think you mean the HAND of Vecna. & the Eye.

Yeah, I was a D&D freak. RPGs in general, really.


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## Doc_Jude (Dec 14, 2007)

Andy Moynihan said:


> Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.



I always thought that Ravenloft was pretty cool, being a horror fan... that is, until my high lvl druid was thrown in there and practically rendered impotent.
I got pissed halfway through the 2nd session and attempted a suicide run on one of the Realm Lords (Strahd. Yeah, I really wanted to die). I got over it, though. A week later we were in Dark Sun, and the dwarves suffered. Oh yes, they suffered!


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## cdunn (Dec 14, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> Funny.
> 
> And who remembers the head of vecna?



Ah, that poor trusting PC who tries to put it on. That poor, brainless sod. 

Personally, though, I'm all about the Nuyen.


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## bushidomartialarts (Dec 15, 2007)

Doc_Jude said:


> I think you mean the HAND of Vecna. & the Eye.
> 
> Yeah, I was a D&D freak. RPGs in general, really.


 
Nope the HEAD.  Old joke playing on the Hand and Eye.  Some poor jagoff PC is gonna chop off his own head to put it on.......


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