# Fighting What You Cannot See?



## Jenna (Feb 15, 2012)

Does anyone have experience of best practices for fighting back against online harassment / stalking? 

I will say I absolutely detest Facebook now and would never go back and left it some time ago due to persistent harassment which I must bring upon myself by who I am and but a friend noticed last night that someone had created a fake Facebook page using my name and was trying to add them.  I have had to make another account and report this to Facebook though I do not think these resolutions work quickly, if at all.  I have also had notifications that someone is trying to reset passwords on my hotmail and my gmail account.  

Safety online is not like safety outside.  I would rather deal with someone physically than try to fight what I cannot see, it is like punching thin air.   I am no longer on FB, I had to have my landline and my mobile / cellphone changed.  I think it is the feeling of vulnerability which is predominant.  Besides ignore it and it will go away, does anyone knowany* general proactive ways to combat these people / situations*?  Thank you.

I do not know what is it with some people on Facebook anyway?  Because of the respect and courtesy of people here on this forum, MT is the only place I feel safe online. Thank you MT and thank you to decent people here.


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## fenglong (Feb 15, 2012)

First issue is the harassment which you can not do much about except for either leaving certain people or places behind, blocking, reporting or just forgetting about them.
Second one is computer safety which requires a certain amount of knowledge and tools. You will need a proper firewall, anti virus, anti keylogger and probably some other stuff. People can easily hack into your computer and spy on your activities by logging your keyboard input and finding out all your passwords, opening your webcam and mic.

I can give you basic instructions and links to freeware tools if you like, just hit me up on MSN or Skype.
Personally I use tools from Comodo, Piriform and Javacool, in case anyone wonders what exactly I am going to recommend.


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## oftheherd1 (Feb 15, 2012)

Sounds like fenglong is on the right track for you.

I don't know the laws in the UK.  Facebook (FB) has an obligation to try and prevent that sort of thing on their site.  It is considered a form of stalking.  Best not to use a tool that retaliates as that sort of person tends to be confrontational and vicious (behind a computer at least, less often elsewhere).  It sounds as if they have some computer tools and some knowledge of how to use them.  FB may not choose to use them, but they can do some things to trace the person and block the person, again, depending on how skillfuly they are.

Good luck with it.  It will likely take time and be difficult no matter.


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## MJS (Feb 15, 2012)

Jenna said:


> Does anyone have experience of best practices for fighting back against online harassment / stalking?
> 
> I will say I absolutely detest Facebook now and would never go back and left it some time ago due to persistent harassment which I must bring upon myself by who I am and but a friend noticed last night that someone had created a fake Facebook page using my name and was trying to add them. I have had to make another account and report this to Facebook though I do not think these resolutions work quickly, if at all. I have also had notifications that someone is trying to reset passwords on my hotmail and my gmail account.
> 
> ...



Sucks doesnt it!  Knowing that there're people out there, who can screw with you, and the odds of you finding out who they are, depending on the situation, are slim to none.  Yup, its certainly sucks.  Taking the steps to ensure your identity is safe is so important, its not even funny.  Make sure that passwords are ones that are hard to figure out.  Its good to include a mix of cap/non cap letters, some numbers and symbols as well.  As for FB...I caved after some people I worked with, talked me into opening an acct.  To be honest, I'm on for less than 20 min a day, if that.  I don't update my status with every move I make.  IMO, thats stupid and asking for trouble.  Why do you want the world to know what you're doing?  Frankly I dont care...LOL.  I have no personal info listed, nor do I post pics.  So, yeah, its kinda dumb for me to have one..LOL.  However, I am able to keep in touch with friends that I don't see often or anymore, due to where everyone lives.  So, thats 1 plus. 

In the end, 99% of it comes down to just being careful and cautious.  Of course, if someone is stalking you, harassing you, etc, IMHO, its a very good idea to document stuff with the police.  Having that paper trail is important.


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## Flying Crane (Feb 15, 2012)

Hi Jenna,

My answer is simple: stay off of places like Facebook.  I've never been there, my only online communities that I am involved in are Martialtalk and Kenpotalk.

I still don't have a cell phone and I'm fighting desperately to keep it that way.  I'm not at all convinced that all this technology and being cyberly connected are such good things as those selling them want us to believe.

hope things work out for you.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 15, 2012)

Do not give out any information that you do not want to share with 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 people who you cannot trust.

And even though there are those that feel it is necessary to use your real name is such places..... don't. If they insist, don't go there.

I have way to much training in Cyber security and Social Engineering stuff to make me feel all to secure anywhere online, including MT, I am not at all happy with the amount of info I have given out on MT over the years. However I will admit MT is by far much more secure than facebook


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## Kinghercules (Feb 16, 2012)

Jenna said:


> Does anyone have experience of best practices for fighting back against online harassment / stalking?
> 
> I will say I absolutely detest Facebook now and would never go back and left it some time ago due to persistent harassment which I must bring upon myself by who I am and but a friend noticed last night that someone had created a fake Facebook page using my name and was trying to add them.  I have had to make another account and report this to Facebook though I do not think these resolutions work quickly, if at all.  I have also had notifications that someone is trying to reset passwords on my hotmail and my gmail account.
> 
> ...



Im assuming that you must be in jr high or high school.
You're lettin someone get to you so easily.
People cant harass you on FB if they are not friends with you.
Stop exceptin eryone that request to be friends.
My nieces and nephews have like 400 or 500 friends.
I told them dont start whining & cryin or complaining when they start beefin with someone on FB.
Plane and simple......just except ppl you know.


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## elder999 (Feb 16, 2012)

Kinghercules said:


> Im assuming that you must be in jr high or high school.
> .



She is not.  :lol:


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## Jenna (Feb 16, 2012)

Kinghercules said:


> Im assuming that you must be in jr high or high school.
> You're lettin someone get to you so easily.
> People cant harass you on FB if they are not friends with you.
> Stop exceptin eryone that request to be friends.
> ...


I appreciate your advice though I am not on FB and have not been for some time.  I am sorry if I appear to be whining, that is not my intention, rather to figure how to feel less incompetent in a non-physical situation.

Without being specific, this person is not a friend and has already received a letter from a lawyer (which I had to engage from this side of the Atlantic to the other) to desist their harassment and as the letter said for them to "govern yourself accordingly".  

Yes, at one point I was on FB and had content which was more public than I appreciated at the time.  That is my fault.  I accept my culpability.  My mobile and landline were also compromised and are now changed.  I thought that was the end of it.  My photographs were obviously copied and it was only brought to my attention that this person (I am guessing) has set up a profile using MY name with MY image.  This is a form of identity theft.  Yes I am annoyed at this.  Perhaps it would not bother you.  I understand that we are all different.  

Were this someone local, I would have no fear in confronting them.  This is someone not even from this country.  

Nevertheless, thank you for taking the time to comment.


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## Gnarlie (Feb 16, 2012)

Hi Jenna

I'm not a lawyer and if you want legal advice you should go to one, but if you are in the UK, here's what I might have done.  Obviously, what you choose to do is entirely up to you:

*Facebook:* Report anybody purporting to be you on Facebook to the police as well as to Facebook.  Facebook are obliged to ensure that the information they hold is accurate - let Facebook know you have contacted the police.  Show them the evidence.  No action may be taken by police, but at least it is recorded.  Anybody using your identity on Facebook would only be doing so for nefarious purposes for example conning your friends out of cash or extracting information regarding your and their other internet accounts.  The typical scam is I pretend to be you, contact your friends, tell them I've got myself into a bit of trouble and ask them to deposit money somewhere to help me out.  Warn your friends that if you want something, you'll contact them in person.

*Email: *Best practice is to change your passwords once a week.  Choose a password containing symbols and numbers, and not a word straight from the dictionary.  Password sweepers will pick those words first.  Do not relate accounts together - What we don't want is when you need to change your password, that the change password email goes to another of your online accounts.  If you structure in this way, if I get one of your passwords, I can change them all and get every piece of information from every email you haven't deleted.  So, be careful to always delete - especially Paypal and online banking and shopping related emails, as they will contain clues and details to your other online accounts, which is where I would go next.  People who use the same password or variants for each site are a stalker's dream.

*Mobile telephone: *If you are harassed on the phone, report the time and date of the call to your network operator and in repeated instances to the police.  If you feel threatened, they will monitor the situation and work with you to solve it.  In the worst cases the owner of the originating number can be identified and prosecuted.  In most cases the network operator will contact to issue a warning and then block the offending number if the calls continue.
*
Home telephone: *If you are harassed on the land line, again report it to your operator.  Pay for caller ID, and work with the provider to block any numbers you don't want to hear from.

*General:  *Don't give anyone any information about yourself, online, in person or over the phone, unless you know you can trust them.  Not even your date of birth.  If I have a date of birth and a name, I can call a Utility company and tell them I've moved into an address.  If I get a Utility bill in that name, I can use it along with other fake ID to cash cheques, open bank accounts, get a mortgage, a loan etc etc etc, all in that name.  People used to fish through Births and Deaths records to find children  who died very young, then use their name to open a bank account on what  would have been their 18th birthday.  Since the rise of online accounts,  they no longer have to do that.

Never reveal where you are going and when via electronic media - including email autoreplies - I know of someone whose house was burgled after he wrote on an email autoreply at work 'I'm currently in Tenerife, back on the 16th'.  Some external bod spammed the address, got the auto reply and bingo - empty house.  This is why the Facebook 'check in' functionality is really a bad idea.

In my own personal experience if you work with the authorities in the right way, keeping an incident diary and reporting everything as soon as it happens, it's not likely to continue.  There's a lot to be said for keeping people at a distance.


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## MJS (Feb 16, 2012)

Kinghercules said:


> Im assuming that you must be in jr high or high school.
> You're lettin someone get to you so easily.
> People cant harass you on FB if they are not friends with you.
> Stop exceptin *accepting* eryone that request to be friends.
> ...



So upon first look at your post, it would seem that you're saying that harassment only happens to people who're in Jr. high and high school?  There are endless venues to harass someone.  I believe Jenna was only using FB as an example.  And despite how strong willed someone may appear to be, when unknown sources start doing things, tampering with your life, I highly doubt anyone would be able to not 'let it get to them'.  

Fixed that for ya.


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## fenglong (Feb 16, 2012)

Flying Crane said:


> Hi Jenna,
> 
> My answer is simple: stay off of places like Facebook.  I've never been there, my only online communities that I am involved in are Martialtalk and Kenpotalk.
> 
> ...




Its not about people trying to make us believe something. Technology has good and bad sides, just like everything else, and it will go the way it will. Just like money has always ruled the world since it was invented, technology will continue to connect more and more aspects of life. Of course you can stay out of it but I would rather call it "the nature of technology".


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