# Just to lighten your day....



## Yari (Jul 11, 2002)

1) Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

2) I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

3) If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

4) Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

5) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

6) I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't
trust me so much.

7) Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

8) We cannot change the direction of the wind ... but we can adjust our
sails.

9) Some days are a total waste of makeup.

10) Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk by you again?

11) If the shoe fits......buy it in every color.

12) If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

13) Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

14) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.

15) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

16) If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.

17) My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

18) Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

19) It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

20) For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

21) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

22) Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

23) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

24) Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

25) A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

26) Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.

27) Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

28) Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.

29) There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

30) Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.

31) By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

32) Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.


I personally love nr. 12 and 30.

/yari


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## Richard S. (Jul 11, 2002)

#7 is true......we have a cat, a 19 pound fur lined madman named "renfield" he is.....obnoxious. i have to go now hes watching me...........


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## karatekid1975 (Jul 11, 2002)

"2) I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."

Hey! I resemble that coment! Actually, I prefer beer 

"8) We cannot change the direction of the wind ... but we can adjust our sails."

Nice. Something to think about.

"9) Some days are a total waste of makeup."

What make-up? Make-up is a total waste.

"10) Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk by you again?"

LOL. Good one.

"11) If the shoe fits......buy it in every color." 

NO! Please don't!

"12) If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out."

Oops. Mine done fell out.

"14) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

I like this one better. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds doesn't make you a hamburger. Quoted from a Christian comic.

"15) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

LOL. I like that one.

"17) My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance."

I wish.

"18) Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious."

Hehehe I agree 

"19) It is easier to get forgiveness than permission."

hehehehehe yep

"21) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip."

Or if ya look at your divers lisence, and it looks like a mugshot, it prolly is LOL. Or takin from a guy who took the mugshots at the jail in his previous job.

"22) Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.'

Boy, I can't agree more!

"25) A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

No, one beer in each hand  LOL

"28) Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it."

Don't tell my hunny that. He's a damn pack rat!

Ok, I had so many that fit me. I had to do it this way LOL. Ok, I'm done LOL.


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