# Ouch! (The Sound of a Bruised Ego)



## K' Evans (Feb 28, 2007)

Well, as a newbie/beginner to MA, I hope what I am experiencing aint new. I just had a light boxing sparring session and also had a taste of BJJ and other grappling techniques. Although I didnt get any serious injuries, but man do I feel weak. 

Not only was I introduced to feeling like a victim during the grappling, but during the sparring session, I realised now how it feels like to be hit. I didn't hit the guy seriously, and just wanted to make contact, but I think my partner was putting in more effort. Although I could hit him quite a number of good clean shots, he also hit me in the face way more than I asked for. Guess it goes to show even if you understand the theory, the techniques and etc, applying it is so different. 

Anyway, its a strange feeling overall. Yes, I learnt a lot abt myself, and found the experience enlightening, but also disliked what I saw in myself. Maybe I should take it easy, after all it's my first time (in grappling and sparring), shouldn't have expected me to become a "champion" all of a sudden. And I guess, I did do better than what I would have thought, but still...yeah it's still a uncomfortable feeling.


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## kosho (Feb 28, 2007)

Well,
       the first time you ate as a baby your mom or dad has photos of this. did not do well. but you are good at it now yes???
same thing with fighting and martial arts. time will do you right. 
always learn from not winning. its not who wins in class its the person who is learning from this. keep pushing on and in time things will work better for you. make sure you are haveing fun and you want to go to class and each step will get beter.
kosho


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## Shaderon (Feb 28, 2007)

Sometimes realisation is an uncomfortable feeling, it's a shock to the system to learn something that you thought was otherwise, in any situation.      I hated sparring when I first started, it was harder than I thought, but now I've gotten used to it, and know my own limits and abilities, I love it.  It's another reason to stretch myself and try things out in a gently competitive environment.


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## Drac (Feb 28, 2007)

kosho said:


> Well,
> the first time you ate as a baby your mom or dad has photos of this. did not do well. but you are good at it now yes???


 
Could not have said it better...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 28, 2007)

This is how we learn.

I got nailed last week by my sifu during sparing and all it made me realize was I needed to work on some things and remember a few I forgot. 

It is just part of being a martial artist, it comes with the territory


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## Infinite (Feb 28, 2007)

The burnt hand teaches best about fire.

Or as I prefer it be said,

Getting hit sucks the best way to learn how not to get hit is to stop getting hit. -- Unknown Boxer.

--Infy


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## Kacey (Feb 28, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Guess it goes to show even if you understand the theory, the techniques and etc, applying it is so different.



This line is the key - if you've already learned this, then you're ahead of quite a few people.  Too many people _only_ learn theory, and then don't understand why the world does not respond exactly as the theory says... it's because application varies widely once you leave the learning environment.


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## Touch Of Death (Feb 28, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Well, as a newbie/beginner to MA, I hope what I am experiencing aint new. I just had a light boxing sparring session and also had a taste of BJJ and other grappling techniques. Although I didnt get any serious injuries, but man do I feel weak.
> 
> Not only was I introduced to feeling like a victim during the grappling, but during the sparring session, I realised now how it feels like to be hit. I didn't hit the guy seriously, and just wanted to make contact, but I think my partner was putting in more effort. Although I could hit him quite a number of good clean shots, he also hit me in the face way more than I asked for. Guess it goes to show even if you understand the theory, the techniques and etc, applying it is so different.
> 
> Anyway, its a strange feeling overall. Yes, I learnt a lot abt myself, and found the experience enlightening, but also disliked what I saw in myself. Maybe I should take it easy, after all it's my first time (in grappling and sparring), shouldn't have expected me to become a "champion" all of a sudden. And I guess, I did do better than what I would have thought, but still...yeah it's still a uncomfortable feeling.


Get used to it.:ultracool 
Sean


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## theletch1 (Feb 28, 2007)

Yeah, what Sean said.  Really, though, I find that I learn more from nights like that than I do from nights where everything goes great.


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## still learning (Feb 28, 2007)

Hello, Your learning will come in many forms.  Sparring and grappling is one of them.

Many people are not use to getting hit....so when they get into a fight on the streets...and someone punch or kick them...they are shock..the realities of a fight!  Learning to take a hit is good, but blocking is better.

That strange feeling of being hit....(for most of us ,off course it is different,)....NOT many of us in the beginning find it natural to be hit.

Enjoy the experiences.....ouch! ...ahhhhhh...oops.........Aloha


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## The Kidd (Feb 28, 2007)

I don't like getting hit nor turned into a pretzel, I have a little bit of a competitive streak in me, so I try to soak up as much as possible and as fast as possible to be better (and not get hit or turned into a pretzel as much!)


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## jdinca (Feb 28, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Well, as a newbie/beginner to MA, I hope what I am experiencing aint new. I just had a light boxing sparring session and also had a taste of BJJ and other grappling techniques. Although I didnt get any serious injuries, but man do I feel weak.
> 
> Not only was I introduced to feeling like a victim during the grappling, but during the sparring session, I realised now how it feels like to be hit. I didn't hit the guy seriously, and just wanted to make contact, but I think my partner was putting in more effort. Although I could hit him quite a number of good clean shots, he also hit me in the face way more than I asked for. Guess it goes to show even if you understand the theory, the techniques and etc, applying it is so different.
> 
> Anyway, its a strange feeling overall. Yes, I learnt a lot abt myself, and found the experience enlightening, but also disliked what I saw in myself. Maybe I should take it easy, after all it's my first time (in grappling and sparring), shouldn't have expected me to become a "champion" all of a sudden. And I guess, I did do better than what I would have thought, but still...yeah it's still a uncomfortable feeling.



And to think, we do this because it's fun.


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## mijemi (Feb 28, 2007)

Sparring is a humbling experience. You probably did really well for a beginner. Best to learn from the experience and don't let pride get in the way of your progression. Remember - most of us have been there too!


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## K' Evans (Mar 1, 2007)

I was really looking forward to sparring, cos I do think that's where a martial artist can test his skills and techniques. What I didn't expect was the dismal performance (to me anyway), and my clumsiness and forgetfulness (e.g. forgot to block my face, forgot to go into a difference stance when close range, etc). When it was over, I thought to myself, "WHat the...? I should have known better than this". But yeah I see what you guys are saying. There's actually a lot to learn in terms of application...

After the sparring experience, I must say I have renewed (as in bigger) admiration for those who compete professionally. Getting hit just to score points is one thing; but to hit someone for real and with an aim of having a KO is another. I still would like to continue sparring, just to see how far I can really take it, and with some minor hope I can get into an ameuteur type of competition. 

Do you guys honestly try to hit _hard_ when you spar? Cos all I was doing was trying to make good fast contact, but maybe I was making a fool of myself for not hitting with some strength.


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## Shaderon (Mar 1, 2007)

I suppose it depends on whaich art you are talking about, but with a beginner I would think that whatever art it is, the main focus is the technique and experience in hitting and getting hit.   In our TKD class, we do no contact sparring at first, then when you get gloves and boots, we do light contact sparring.  It's only when you get further up the food chain you get full contact.


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## mijemi (Mar 1, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Do you guys honestly try to hit _hard_ when you spar? Cos all I was doing was trying to make good fast contact, but maybe I was making a fool of myself for not hitting with some strength.


 
We don't. I know there's something to learn in full contact but ours is more about making only light contact but with good speed. The higher the rank the more you can give them in training but still in our competitions the aim is not to hurt but just to gain "points". We train for impact with padding. Some first-timers get too caught up in it and can really hurt if you don't block or get out of the way. Your teacher should tell you what the aim is - is it more about going through the motions or about a real fight? He might have been the one making a fool of himself for taking it too seriously . You weren't to know - don't worry about it.


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## zDom (Mar 1, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Do you guys honestly try to hit _hard_ when you spar? Cos all I was doing was trying to make good fast contact, but maybe I was making a fool of myself for not hitting with some strength.



The rule around the dojang when I was training MSK TKD, was

"The lower belt sets the pace."

That is, the lower belt decides on the level of contact.

So yes, some of us WOULD go at just about full contact (without trying to KO each other or splatter each other's noses). Only a handful of people, though. Most folk just aren't interested in getting that rough.

There were times when things would get so rough that a couple stiches were required to sew up splits above the check bone, but only a couple of times.

Unlike a "full contact/going for knockout" we would stop when someone got cut or was visibly stunned rather than "following up" and knocking them completely out.

It's not for everybody, but if you are willing to go through it, you definately feel ready for anything after the experience.


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## jdinca (Mar 1, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Do you guys honestly try to hit _hard_ when you spar? Cos all I was doing was trying to make good fast contact, but maybe I was making a fool of myself for not hitting with some strength.



Depends on the purpose of the sparring. Typically, sparring for us is for speed and targeting. Sometimes a strike comes in a little harder than necessary but that happens.


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## foggymorning162 (Mar 2, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> What I didn't expect was the dismal performance (to me anyway), and my clumsiness and forgetfulness (e.g. forgot to block my face, forgot to go into a difference stance when close range, etc).


The more you do it the more it becomes second nature before long you don't forget because your body reacts by reflex.


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## K' Evans (Mar 5, 2007)

Just a small update. I just had my second sparring session. It was a spontaneous invitation by one of the seniors. I don't think I made any leaps in improvement, of course, but I was more aware of my stance, posture, etc. My Sifu, however, got a chance to watch me and complimented me quite a bit. Given that this is his first time seeing me spar, he thought I did pretty well and showed signs of improvement. 

No doubt, I was appreciative and humbled by his comments. I honestly don't think I deserved such praise, but it's great to hear it so I can keep on going.


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## Shaderon (Mar 5, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Just a small update. I just had my second sparring session. It was a spontaneous invitation by one of the seniors. I don't think I made any leaps in improvement, of course, but I was more aware of my stance, posture, etc. My Sifu, however, got a chance to watch me and complimented me quite a bit. Given that this is his first time seeing me spar, he thought I did pretty well and showed signs of improvement.
> 
> No doubt, I was appreciative and humbled by his comments. I honestly don't think I deserved such praise, but it's great to hear it so I can keep on going.


 
Congrats!!!   If he gave you priase then I would fully imagine you DID deserve it!   There's no point in praising someone for doing something wrong.

Well done!


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## NDNgirl4ever (Apr 27, 2007)

I too am new the the martial arts (I'm a yellow belt in Shorin Ryu Karate). I just started sparring and grappling as well. I know what your saying. Most people are afraid of not looking good at first. The thing to remember is, mistakes are how we learn. I got hit in sparring because I let my guard down. Next time I'll try to remember to keep my guard up. I just had my third grappling session today, and I couldn't get out of the hold. I was a little flustrated that I couldn't, but the people I was grappling with have been doing it a lot longer than me. The key to remember is that everyone in that class was once just like you, even your Sifu. They know what it's like, and you shouldn't feel bad if you don't get it right away.


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## Skip Cooper (Apr 27, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Just a small update. I just had my second sparring session. It was a spontaneous invitation by one of the seniors. I don't think I made any leaps in improvement, of course, but I was more aware of my stance, posture, etc. My Sifu, however, got a chance to watch me and complimented me quite a bit. Given that this is his first time seeing me spar, he thought I did pretty well and showed signs of improvement.
> 
> No doubt, I was appreciative and humbled by his comments. I honestly don't think I deserved such praise, but it's great to hear it so I can keep on going.


 
A good teacher, no matter the discipline, will praise what you are doing correctly and critique what needs attention. This type of positive motivation is critical in the development of a new student. Plus, I think that being called out by a senior student or the instructor, speaks volumes about how they felt about your first performance.

Keep working at it, the pain will become tolerable and you might even begin to enjoy it. I am one of those people who enjoy a little pain in my training. I train in hapkido and I like to feel the pain of a joint lock. If I don't feel a twinge of pain, then my partner is not applying the technique correctly. By avoiding the pain, I failing to aid in the development of my partner. He/she may need to use this technique in a real conflict and may fail due to this inconsistancy.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Apr 28, 2007)

Do not be hard on yourself it takes time to be good at anything.  Train and try to pick up the teachings of your instructor and you will do fine in the long run.  Keep going!


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## zDom (Apr 28, 2007)

Skip Cooper said:


> Keep working at it, the pain will become tolerable and you might even begin to enjoy it. I am one of those people who enjoy a little pain in my training. I train in hapkido and I like to feel the pain of a joint lock.



I wouldn't say I ENJOY the pain  but I APPRECIATE it, if that makes any sense. Pain is like a friend who cares enough about you to deliver a message we need to hear, such as "that stove is HOT!" or "you are being INJURED!" or, in this case, "Your partner is doing the technique CORRECTLY!"



Skip Cooper said:


> If I don't feel a twinge of pain, then my partner is not applying the technique correctly. By avoiding the pain, I [am] failing to aid in the development of my partner. He/she may need to use this technique in a real conflict and may fail due to this inconsistancy.



Exactly! Well said.


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## K' Evans (Apr 30, 2007)

Hey guys, thanks for the replies. It's very heart-warming to hear your advice and voices of encouragement. I will certainly keep those tips in mind. 

I just had another night of sparring, and man am I frustrated at myself again. I don't know what's wrong with me, either I am too defensive, or just too stunned during sparring. One of my partners (a senior who I've had issues getting along with, and apparently I am not the only one) just never initiated an attack, and whenever I kicked (lightly, as it's meant to be light sparring), all he does is slam my foot down and kick me again. I don't want to have any personal feelings towards him, but it's just demoralizing to have him intercept my kicks all the time, and I never had the chance to intercept his. 

When I sparred with the second person (who is a friend of mine), I knew that I was no match for him since he's a competitive boxer. But, I was hoping to at least be a little better in landing some attacks on him. However, he's really good and I found myself to be on the defence, which was quite tough for me. While I did make a few shots, I consider it purely luck. 

I don't expect to be a natural or talented fighter but I am really wondering what's wrong with me. Some questions I have in my mind: 

1) How do I deal with someone who doesn't want to initiate an attack and keeps waiting to intercept me?

2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?

3) What kind of different ways can I initiate an attack? All I seem to be doing is a kick and a punch or punch and kick. I can't seem to steal corners effectively. 

4) I think I am too afraid to keep rushing forward offensively. Maybe partially cos I don't want to hurt my sparring partners or hurt myself too. 

5) I think as soon as I spar, everything I've learnt collapses. It's like as if I forgot everything. This is really bad. It's like I never learned anything at all....

I obviously got a long way to go.


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## Kacey (Apr 30, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> Hey guys, thanks for the replies. It's very heart-warming to hear your advice and voices of encouragement. I will certainly keep those tips in mind.
> 
> I just had another night of sparring, and man am I frustrated at myself again. I don't know what's wrong with me, either I am too defensive, or just too stunned during sparring. One of my partners (a senior who I've had issues getting along with, and apparently I am not the only one) just never initiated an attack, and whenever I kicked (lightly, as it's meant to be light sparring), all he does is slam my foot down and kick me again. I don't want to have any personal feelings towards him, but it's just demoralizing to have him intercept my kicks all the time, and I never had the chance to intercept his.



If he's blocking harder than you're kicking, which is what it sounds like, then kick him harder.  He is, by his actions, saying that your attack was not effective; if he were accepting it as a valid attack, he would treat it accordingly.  That being said - talk to your instructor or another senior and ask them to watch you spar this person, not because of the above problem, per se - but tell them you seem to be having problems getting techniques in on him and ask them to watch and provide feedback.  His actions will be apparent fairly quickly.



K' Evans said:


> When I sparred with the second person (who is a friend of mine), I knew that I was no match for him since he's a competitive boxer. But, I was hoping to at least be a little better in landing some attacks on him. However, he's really good and I found myself to be on the defence, which was quite tough for me. While I did make a few shots, I consider it purely luck.



Why is it, when you don't land techniques, it's you - and when you do, it's luck?  Could you be... _better _that you think you are?  Again, have another person watch you spar and provide feedback, or, if possible, use a video camera.

I don't expect to be a natural or talented fighter but I am really wondering what's wrong with me. Some questions I have in my mind: 



K' Evans said:


> 1) How do I deal with someone who doesn't want to initiate an attack and keeps waiting to intercept me?



Are you talking about a counterfighter?  People who wait for you to attack are waiting for the opening your attack causes in your defenses.  This works best when you (the attacker) only throw 1 or 2 techniques; the way to prevent counterfighting from being effective is to throw multiple techniques at different levels, even if you're getting hit once or twice - in general, counterfighters expect you to stop once they start, and if you don't, you can usually respond effectively.



K' Evans said:


> 2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?



Practice.  And if that doesn't work, practice some more.  If that still doesn't work, then practice might help!    This is part of the fight/flight response (blinking, I mean) and takes practice retraining your response (flight includes freezing - that's where the blinking comes from) until you stop doing it.



K' Evans said:


> 3) What kind of different ways can I initiate an attack? All I seem to be doing is a kick and a punch or punch and kick. I can't seem to steal corners effectively.



What do you mean by "stealing corners effectively"?  I'm not sure what that refers to - if you mean location in the ring, the corners are a bad place to be; it's safer in the center, you move less, and it's harder to kick you out of bounds.  If you mean combinations, you need to practice combinations until they become natural, so that you keep moving no matter what.  This goes with the above fight/flight response; you have to train yourself to keep fighting even while you're defending.



K' Evans said:


> 4) I think I am too afraid to keep rushing forward offensively. Maybe partially cos I don't want to hurt my sparring partners or hurt myself too.



Nobody wants to get hurt!  See answer to #2 and #3.



K' Evans said:


> 5) I think as soon as I spar, everything I've learnt collapses. It's like as if I forgot everything. This is really bad. It's like I never learned anything at all....
> 
> See answer to #2.  This is why so many short-term self-defense classes don't teach actual MA - they teach escape techniques that are easy to remember and execute - the more complex the action, the more practice it takes.
> 
> ...


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## Skip Cooper (May 2, 2007)

K' Evans said:


> \
> 2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?


 
I don't even know if I blink when attacked. Can one train not to blink? Now, all of a sudden, I am conscience of my blinking...I wished I hadn't read this thread, LOL!


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## K' Evans (May 2, 2007)

Well, I wasn't sure if its appropriate to kick him harder. As it was supposed to be light sparring, I deliberately decided to be light. I am very cautious abt myself as I think I am not certain of how much power I can control in my punches or kicks. But thanks for the tip, I will be certain to ask others to watch our sparring. 

I suppose that if I had the liberty to use a wide array of techniques, I could put up better against a counterfighter. In that particular sparring match, we were instructed to train in a few techniques, hence we were restricted in what we could use. That's why I was trying to steal his corner, i.e. I have to move to his left or right side fast enough to hit him, without him being able to counter back efficiently. 

Maybe I am giving myself less credit than I deserve, but I like to practice a healthy sense of skepticism about my abilities and skills too. It reinforces my doubts and curiousity and helps foster my enthuasiasm to learn more and improve.

I don't know, I don't see some of my opponents blinking. And I think I blink excessively. Even when I am throwing the punch! I guess there's no way around it except to practice more. Maybe I have some fears of getting hit...


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