# Military Rules



## MBuzzy (Jun 21, 2008)

Marine Corps Rules: 

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 
3. Have a plan. 
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.' 
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.) 
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 
10... Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 
11... Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 
12... In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 
13... If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot. 

Navy SEAL's Rules: 

1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 
2. Kill every living thing within view. 
3. Adjust Speedo. 
4. Check hair in mirror. 

US Army Rangers Rules: 

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 
2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing. 
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving. 

US Army Rules: 

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order. 
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee. 
3. Curse bitterly. 
4. Curse bitterly. 
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed. 
6. Curse bitterly. 

US Air Force Rules: 

1. Have a cocktail. 
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 
3. See what's on HBO. 
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?' 
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation. 
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives. 
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets. 
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally. 
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption. ( And I Love This Next One) 

US Navy Rules: 

1. Go to Sea. 
2. Drink Coffee. 
3. Deploy Marines


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## Andy Moynihan (Jun 21, 2008)

Sounds about right.


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## Sukerkin (Jun 21, 2008)

ROFL.  I've not come across those before - tres amusant :tup:.

As someone who was oh-so-very nearly in the Royal Navy, I'd just like to point out the innaccuracy of the quips made against sailors.

1) Go to sea - well yes, that bit was right
2) Drink tea
3) Deploy Royal Marine Commandos
4) Deploy aircraft
5) Press buttons, fire big missiles ... sulk because you don't get to see them go "Boom!"
6) Drink rum for solace


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## arnisador (Jun 21, 2008)

Heh.


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## CuongNhuka (Jun 21, 2008)

I keep telling Army, Navy, and Airforce guys we're better then them, and now someone who agrees with me!!!

I have a funny one, I'll try to find the link.


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## MBuzzy (Jun 21, 2008)

CuongNhuka said:


> I keep telling Army, Navy, and Airforce guys we're better then them, and now someone who agrees with me!!!
> 
> I have a funny one, I'll try to find the link.


 
HAHAHA, WOW, I laughed more at that than I did the original joke!!  Better at what?  

You know, the longer I'm around the military, the more I appreciate the other services - but it really is still fun to joke about them!


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## terryl965 (Jun 21, 2008)

As long as the USMC is on top I am OK with it.


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## MBuzzy (Jun 21, 2008)

Seeing as how I am in general outnumbered around here....I will withold my comments on the Marines.    Someone might shoot me.


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## CuongNhuka (Jun 21, 2008)

MBuzzy said:


> Seeing as how I am in general outnumbered around here....I will withold my comments on the Marines.  Someone might shoot me.


 
Youtube "one shot, five kills". That's interesting. There's a second part to it, by the way.

Ohh, and we're better at everything, expect losing. We're better at dieing since we die with some balls! And there is that one thing about the Navy, but that's anouther matter.... (ok, it wont let me post a smily, sorry)


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## Big Don (Jun 21, 2008)

Friendly fire, isn't
Tracers work both ways
If they are in range, so are you
Edited to add the most important:
Try to look unimportant, they might be low on ammo...


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## MBuzzy (Jun 21, 2008)

CuongNhuka said:


> Ohh, and we're better at everything, expect losing.


 
sigh....Well, boy, basic training is just going to make this worse!  Just what we need more Marines that think they're the greatest thing since the M-16.

By "we" I assume you mean "high school students?"  "Civilians?"    You're not a Marine yet!  We'll talk again when you leave the Island.  



CuongNhuka said:


> We're better at dieing since we die with some balls! And there is that one thing about the Navy, but that's anouther matter.... (ok, it wont let me post a smily, sorry)


 
I'd be careful with that one.  Even in joking....no one's good at dying....Marines or otherwise...and no one does it "better."


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## CuongNhuka (Jun 22, 2008)

MBuzzy said:


> By "we" I assume you mean "high school students?" "Civilians?"  You're not a Marine yet! We'll talk again when you leave the Island.
> 
> 
> 
> I'd be careful with that one. Even in joking....no one's good at dying....Marines or otherwise...and no one does it "better."


 
Buzzy, you know what I mean by 'we'. Besides, I'm not going to Paris Island. I'm going to MCRD San Diego. 

Also, you know what I mean by dieing better (we do it less, if you didn't).


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## MBuzzy (Jun 22, 2008)

I know.  Just giving you a hard time about the "we" thing.  

I have to admit, I'm pretty touchy about soldiers dying.  I've lost a few friends, some of which were Marines.

I forgot there was another one in San Diego!  I'm sure that it sucks JUST as bad!


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## CuongNhuka (Jun 22, 2008)

MBuzzy said:


> I forgot there was another one in San Diego! I'm sure that it sucks JUST as bad!


 
I've actually heard the recruiters say that Paris Island was harder. They were talking to a female (you know they have a seperate Basic Training right?) Well, she knew that for sure, and she was asking if that meant they were going to be easier on her. The answer was no, that female recruits go to Paris Island, which is harder because the D.I.'s (apparently) think they need to go extra hard on people, so as to maintain the mentality that Paris Island is were Marines are made. Atleast that was my understanding.

Also, if the 'we' thing bugs you, here is what I told my mom... well, I need to explain the situation. I just got back from MEPS, and mom told me that when I get back from Basic (graduated or not), I'm on my own. She then asked me what I'm going to do if I (somehow) _don't _graduate Basic. My answer? "Here's how it is, I'm going to go to Basic the sixth of October. I'll be back the second of January. If I'm home early, it'll be in a pine box, or a plastic baggy. Either way, I'll be home a Marine or Dead. I don't think they'll _literally_ kill me. So I'm a Marine already, I'm just waiting for my uniform and unit assignment.


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## CuongNhuka (Jun 22, 2008)

Ohh, that site

The D.I.

And anouther good one

Just Another Jarhead's Webpage -- Marine Humor


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## HG1 (Jun 22, 2008)

My brother was in the Air Force had a great poster in his shop. A cartoon drawing showing the differences between the services - focusing on the gung-ho, highspeed, chairborne U.S. Airman. I hope my description can do it justice.

U.S. Marines:
A Marine on patrol out in the rain thinks "This sucks."

U.S. Army Rangers:
A Ranger on patrol out in the rain thinks "This doesn't suck enough."

U.S. Air Force:
An Airman indoors because it's raining. Looks annoyed while sitting in a recliner chair, pointing a remote at the TV that's just lost signal thinks "This REALLY sucks."


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## MBuzzy (Jun 22, 2008)

HG1 said:


> My brother was in the Air Force had a great poster in his shop. A cartoon drawing showing the differences between the services - focusing on the gung-ho, highspeed, chairborne U.S. Airman. I hope my description can do it justice.
> 
> U.S. Marines:
> A Marine on patrol out in the rain thinks "This sucks."
> ...


 
I love that one!  I've seen with Air Conditioning going out too.


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## Andy Moynihan (Jun 22, 2008)

CuongNhuka said:


> I keep telling Army, Navy, and Airforce guys we're better then them, and now someone who agrees with me!!!
> 
> I have a funny one, I'll try to find the link.


 

Might be a smart idea to knock off the "we" talk. Especially in front of other Marines, past or present.

You are a recruit. "Marine" is a title you will earn *AFTER* you complete Recruit Training, and you should refrain from using it before that time.

It isn't about whether you "deserve" to be called it or not, it's a simple show of respect for every Marine that came before.

It was the same for me in the State Guard: I was "RECRUIT Moynihan" Till the Sergeant Major informed myself and and the other RCT's that swore in on the day I did that we had completed the MASG Basic Soldier School, *after* which time I became "Private" Moynihan and got my mosquito wings.

We aren't Marines, but we do have our own proud lineage (basically the literal and spiritual descendants of the Minutemen), and this same respect for those that came before was explained to us as well.


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## MBuzzy (Jun 22, 2008)

CuongNhuka said:


> Also, if the 'we' thing bugs you, here is what I told my mom... well, I need to explain the situation. I just got back from MEPS, and mom told me that when I get back from Basic (graduated or not), I'm on my own. She then asked me what I'm going to do if I (somehow) _don't _graduate Basic. My answer? "Here's how it is, I'm going to go to Basic the sixth of October. I'll be back the second of January. If I'm home early, it'll be in a pine box, or a plastic baggy. Either way, I'll be home a Marine or Dead. I don't think they'll _literally_ kill me. So I'm a Marine already, I'm just waiting for my uniform and unit assignment.


 
I have to agree with Andy here...Especially if you use that term WHILE at basic.  I'm sure that the DI's wouldn't appreciate it.  Marines are VERY protective, and the name Marine means a lot to them.  Its something that has to be earned.  I have no doubt that you'll make it through, but until that time, I'd be careful.


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## theletch1 (Jul 1, 2008)

Since no other real Marines have chimed in here I'll be happy to be the first.  The first time a man or woman who has earned the right to wear that Eagle, Globe and Anchor hears you call yourself a Marine before graduation from boot camp I can assure you that there will be more than a little bit of trouble coming your way.  You will be torn down to nothing and rebuilt as a member of a team, willing to happily lay down your life for your brother Marines.  There will be a sense of pride instilled in you that would never allow you to claim a title that you don't rate.  The fact that you hold Marine Corps training in such low esteem as to assume that you have already passed truly upsets me.  When/if you earn the title and become one of the Few I'll gladly call you brother.  Until then stop calling yourself a Marine.  You're a poolee. :soapbox:


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