# Be Annoying..



## Sarah (Mar 26, 2005)

How to be annoying:


- Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

- Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 

- Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

- Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings. 

- Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 

- Set alarms for random times. 

- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 

- Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 

- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 


- Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 

- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 

- Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music". 

- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 

- Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 

- Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 

- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 

- Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 

- Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 

- Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". 

- Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 

- As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 

- Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 

- Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 

- Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?) 

- Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 

- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 

- Ask people what gender they are. 

- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 

- Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". 

- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 

- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 

- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 

- Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing". 

- Sing along at the opera. 

- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy". 

- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles". 

- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 

- Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. 

- Make appointments for the 31st of September.


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## Simon Curran (Mar 27, 2005)

I'm going to be adding those to my "Little book of Anarchy"...


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## Kamaria Annina (Mar 27, 2005)

Haha, those are great!  Thanks for sharing! *thumbs up*


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## FearlessFreep (Mar 27, 2005)

Reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes carton where Hobbes says to Calvin "I bet your natural charm has made you a good sprinter"


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## MuayThai245 (Aug 29, 2006)

:lfao: :lfao: :lfao: :lfao: :lfao: :lfao:


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## HKphooey (Aug 29, 2006)

Good stuff!!!


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## Swordlady (Aug 29, 2006)

Or you can sing this song several dozen times:

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

TWO, THREE, FOUR
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 Everybody's nerves
 I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
 And this is how it goes...

(repeat until everyone is thoroughly annoyed...)


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## crushing (Aug 29, 2006)

How about emailing that list of 'how to be annoying' to everyone in your address book asking them to forward it to everyone they know for good luck?


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## SFC JeffJ (Aug 29, 2006)

Swordlady said:
			
		

> Or you can sing this song several dozen times:
> 
> I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
> Everybody's nerves
> ...


That is pretty evil Jen.


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