# Barbies for buffalo



## Bob Hubbard (Dec 8, 2011)

*BARBIES FOR BUFFALO*



_Clarence Barbie:_  This princess Barbie is sold only at the Galleria Mall. She comes with  an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog  named Courvoisier and a cookie cutter $1,000,000.00 McMansion. Available  with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold  separately. 

_Tonawanda Barbie:_ This  modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and  matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time  occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold  separately. 

_Niagara Street Barbie:_ This recently paroled Barbie is available after dark and must be paid for in cash, preferably small, untraceable bills. 

_East Aurora Barbie:_  This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer  H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, American Express card and  Roycroft membership. Also available for this set is Artistic Ken, who  has a potter's wheel and no visible means of support. 

_South Buffalo Barbie:_  This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too  small, a Hooters t-shirt and a shamrock tattoo. She has a six-pack of  Bud light and a Twisted Sister CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick  mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck  separately and get a Buffalo Sabres bumper sticker absolutely free. 

_Amherst Barbie:_  This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print  outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet  prescription available. 

_Lackawanna Barbie:_  This chain-smoking, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own  high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased  beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes  low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through  halter-top. Cheektowaga version comes with a mobile home and pink  flamingo. 

_Lexington Co-op Barbie:_  This doll is made of actual tofu. She has multi-colored dreadlocks,  unshaved armpits, no makeup and multiple piercings. Purchase Barbie's  new Co-op blueprints and get a free demolition permit for the pre-WWI  building of your choice. 

_BMHA Barbie:_ This Barbie comes with a stroller and infant doll. Ken is available, but difficult to find since the addition of the infant. 

_Broadway/Fillmore Barbie: _  This model comes with a choir robes, a collection plate, a bible, and  is automated. Pull the string and she raises her right hand and praises  the lord. Available in four styles: Baptist, Jehovah's Witness,  African-Methodist- Episcopal, and (this week's special) Urban  Storefront. 

_Elmwood Barbie/Ken:_  This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply  adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts. Comes with your  choice of CD: Ani DiFranco or Broadway's Greatest Hits.


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## Carol (Dec 8, 2011)

Bob Hubbard said:


> _East Aurora Barbie:_  This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer  H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, American Express card and  Roycroft membership. Also available for this set is Artistic Ken, who  has a potter's wheel and no visible means of support.



Nuh uh.  The Roycroft membership is dead on, but a _real _East Auroran girl drinks Tim's (which outnumber Starbucks in EA), drives a Buick (or maybe a Cadillac Escalade) from that Herr's across from the library..and still shops at Viddlers.  

As far as Artistic Ken with no visible means of support....no comment


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