# The Top Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School



## Kirk (Apr 15, 2002)

The Top Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School 
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*A guy who looks and sounds like Danny DeVito in a bathrobe points to a pile of concrete blocks and says "Knock yourselves out, Grasshoppers." 
*All the trophies in the display case appear to be altered bowling trophies. 
*Instead of belts, levels of prowess are denoted by colorful suspenders and coordinating ascots. 
*Although the Grandmaster's hands "move faster than the eye can see," you can still detect a fair amount of nose picking going on. 
*As a student is wheeled out by paramedics, the instructor say "Class, name 3 things Alan did wrong." 
*You're pretty sure "Monkey Style" does not involve masturbating and throwing feces at your attacker. 
*You practice kicks on a stage while sweaty men stuff dollar bills in your g-string. 
*Spent the first eight lessons learning to talk while moving your lips in a seemingly unrelated manner. 
*At the end of every class, your instructor says, "...or you could just buy a friggin' gun." 
*Your school's symbol is a bullseye target 
*First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully. 
*Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his spilled pocket protector. 
*The "gees" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars" are just slices of old cheese. 
*The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie. 
*The instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in dark alleys. 
*Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to end. 
*Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does not exist in this dojo!" 
*Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the neighbors when he moved in. 
*Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a can of whoop-****" on someone?


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## karatekid1975 (Apr 15, 2002)

I seen something similar to this. You forgot one. If you see the "certificates" on the wall written in crayon ....... hehehehehe


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## fist of fury (Apr 16, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> 
> *The Top Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School
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> ...


:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl: 

that has to be my favorite


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## Seig (Apr 19, 2002)

...You get a hot apple pie with your black belt


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## RCastillo (Jun 14, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> 
> *...You get a hot apple pie with your black belt *



I'll take two of those, and a Diet Coke, please!:burp:


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