# Was told to not come back to the class!



## Disappointed (Oct 26, 2011)

On Monday, I finally decided to try out for the gym that my roommate who is a professional kickboxer trains at. It was a painful experience. Ive known my roommate was part of this team for a while and have had a chance to meet few of the guys on the team.

Those guys are the reason I finally decided to try my hands at martial arts. Those guys are some of the nicest and classiest guys Ive ever met. They are also very close knitted team that are more like a family than anything.
However when I told my roommate I want to try out for the team, he wasnt too warm by the idea. He pretty much told me that the team generally doesnt let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in. He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
I dont want to train at place where there are bunches of new people coming in all the time and Im just another face there and have to prove myself before I can even be a fighter.  So I talk my roommate into let me try out. He finally says I can try out.

I showed up on Monday for the first time.  It was horrible. The warm up was so hard that I end up throw up afterward. It just gets much harder from there. They move onto circuit work out which I have to sit out. They finally end up doing some techniques work which I joined.
Last night, I showed up to try again. I barely made it through warm up half way before having to sit out so I dont throw up again. They then move onto technique work and sparring. During sparring, I sat out again. That wasnt end of it, they went out to do some cardio work. Thats when I packed up and the coach come to me and told me to not come back until I am ready to stick to the class!

I cannot believe their callousness!  I considers myself a pretty fit guy (I played football in high school and used to train for firefight and work out 3 days a week) but the work out was just so hard and they doesnt seems to even care that I was trying. They just expect me to keep up and when I cannot, they told me to not come back!
Anything I can do about this? How can I ask coach for help? Id like to be on the team but I cannot last through the class without some break.


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## jks9199 (Oct 26, 2011)

Disappointed said:


> On Monday, I finally decided to try out for the gym that my roommate who is a professional kickboxer trains at. It was a painful experience. I&#8217;ve known my roommate was part of this team for a while and have had a chance to meet few of the guys on the team.
> 
> Those guys are the reason I finally decided to try my hands at martial arts. Those guys are some of the nicest and classiest guys I&#8217;ve ever met. They are also very close knitted team that are more like a family than anything.
> However when I told my roommate I want to try out for the team, he wasn&#8217;t too warm by the idea. He pretty much told me that the team generally doesn&#8217;t let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in. He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
> ...



I'm going to sound callous -- but you were warned.  You didn't listen.  Someone falling out of the workout repeatedly is a disruption.  Someone wanting to do only parts of the workout is disruptive.  Having to walk you through exercises may well be a disruption.

Go somewhere else.  Train up to the club, and let your roommate (and other club members) see that you're ready, and they may invite you back.  You're not ready for it right now.


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## clfsean (Oct 26, 2011)

jks9199 said:


> I'm going to sound callous -- but you were warned.  You didn't listen.  Someone falling out of the workout repeatedly is a disruption.  Someone wanting to do only parts of the workout is disruptive.  Having to walk you through exercises may well be a disruption.
> 
> Go somewhere else.  Train up to the club, and let your roommate (and other club members) see that you're ready, and they may invite you back.  You're not ready for it right now.



There you have it. It's not a movie. It's not a feel good musical. It's serious. You didn't listen. Now you know. Now listen to the advice given & go forward from there. Develop the body & develop the mindset. What killed you wasn't your physical conditioning solely. You're mind wasn't into it. 

Most people can't keep up with my work out & I'm out of shape. There'd be no way I'd try an organized team like that because "I think I'm good enough".


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## Nomad (Oct 26, 2011)

Disappointed said:


> On Monday, I finally decided to try out for the gym that my roommate who is a professional kickboxer trains at. It was a painful experience. I&#8217;ve known my roommate was part of this team for a while and have had a chance to meet few of the guys on the team.
> 
> Those guys are the reason I finally decided to try my hands at martial arts. Those guys are some of the nicest and classiest guys I&#8217;ve ever met. They are also very close knitted team that are more like a family than anything.
> However when I told my roommate I want to try out for the team, he wasn&#8217;t too warm by the idea. He pretty much told me that the team generally doesn&#8217;t let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in. He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
> ...



From what you've written above, this is obviously a fairly elite group of athletes who are training very hard.  Although we all like to imagine that we could keep up and fit in, the reality (as you found out) is often quite different.  

Personally, I think the coach was doing you a favor (albeit a blunt one) when he told you not to come back until you were able to keep up... pushing that far past your current capacity on a regular basis is a great way to get injured.

If you really want to be a part of this team, you might want to set an appointment with the coach to see if he can recommend other training programs (with him, elsewhere, or on your own) that can help get you up to speed.  Ask for a frank assessment of what you need to be able to do to keep up with the class, and work towards it.  Even if you don't reach that mark, you'll end up "wasting time" improving your fitness levels and getting in better shape.  Maybe some private sessions would be in order?  

You could also ask your room-mate to help design and implement a workout plan with you.


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## stone_dragone (Oct 26, 2011)

First of all:  Welcome to MT!  Why not stop over at the Meet and Greet section and tell us a bit more about yourself.

Second:



Disappointed said:


> He pretty much told me that the team generally doesn&#8217;t let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in.



Sounds like you found out why.



Disappointed said:


> He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
> I don&#8217;t want to train at place where there are bunches of new people coming in all the time and I&#8217;m just another face there and have to prove myself before I can even be a fighter.



You used the word "Team."  Sounds like something in which the membership is "earned".  There are plenty of other places where you can go that you don't have to prove yourself, but most of them are on the internet.



Disappointed said:


> Anything I can do about this?



Yes.  Follow their advice - get some training somewhere else, improve your fitness, EARN your spot on the team.



Disappointed said:


> How can I ask coach for help?



You can't.  Get stronger or get over it.



Disappointed said:


> I&#8217;d like to be on the team but I cannot last through the class without some break.



Sounds like you're not ready for the team then.  

I understand wanting to be part of something that you're just not ready for, but the cold and hard fact is that (based on your post) you aren't physically ready for their level of training.  Can you get there - very likely.  Will it take work - Hell yeah.  Are they going to let you on the team when you aren't ready so that you can drag the team down to your current level.  No.

Bring yourself up to their level, don't expect them to come down to yours.  Come up with an exercise plan (get your roomate to help you when he's not with the team), just don't think that they owe you anything to include a break or a spot on the team.

Good luck!


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## Jenna (Oct 26, 2011)

Disappointed said:


> Anything I can do about this? How can I ask coach for help?


I think if you are keen to join this group, you ask the coach as directly as you can, under what circumstances would they be happy to invite you to join.  At least if you have "formal" criteria then you will have something to work towards and are less likely to be turned down for spurious reasons.  Either that or you will at least find out that they do not want new members at all.  I wish you well.  Must have been full-on that you chucked up lol   Welcome to MT, hope you psot some more on your (unusual) experiences. Jenna.


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## Buka (Oct 26, 2011)

Disappointed said:


> On Monday, I finally decided to try out for the gym that my roommate who is a professional kickboxer trains at. It was a painful experience. I&#8217;ve known my roommate was part of this team for a while and have had a chance to meet few of the guys on the team.
> 
> Those guys are the reason I finally decided to try my hands at martial arts. Those guys are some of the nicest and classiest guys I&#8217;ve ever met. They are also very close knitted team that are more like a family than anything.
> However when I told my roommate I want to try out for the team, he wasn&#8217;t too warm by the idea. He pretty much told me that the team generally doesn&#8217;t let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in. He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
> ...



I do not believe, not for one minute, that any of this post is true.


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## Tez3 (Oct 26, 2011)

There's places where you_ don't_ throw up during warm ups? We often have people sticking their heads out of the fire doors to throw up even fit soldiers do as it's often a different type of fitness training than they are used to, we use sledgehammers on big truck tyres, we have an excercise where everyone picks up a judo mat on their back and squatting, goes round the gym (a big gym hall) with it, kettlebells, sprawls and lots of other stuff that because it's different to 'normal' warm ups and fitness training pushes bodies. The end result is we have fit fighters and that makes all the difference between winning and losing a fight. The army PTI's have been watching us and have started incorporating some of our stuff into the soldiers. It also stops it being boring.
One of our fitness coaches is a Scots Guards Sgt.Maj, the other a Para Regt PTI.
We train MMA, we have new people starting all the time, they are given training appropriate to their level, we don't expect them to be arrogant and want to take on the experienced fighters. If you want to fight, yes you have to prove yourself even for an amateur fight. It's common sense for us to be concerned over fighter safety, we want fighters to prove their competency before they are allowed to fight in the cage. To expect otherwise is foolish. If you can't deal with being a newbie and behave humbly you will find it hard to fit in anywhere tbh. 

'Disappointed', I'm sure you are but you've had some good advice here, nothing I'll add to other than to say welcome to MT and if you follow the good advice I think you'll be pleased you did.


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## Dirty Dog (Oct 26, 2011)

Disappointed said:


> However when I told my roommate I want to try out for the team, he wasn&#8217;t too warm by the idea. He pretty much told me that the team generally doesn&#8217;t let people come in and try out, they usually invite people in. He told me to go and train somewhere else for a while then may I can try out.
> I don&#8217;t want to train at place where there are bunches of new people coming in all the time and I&#8217;m just another face there and have to prove myself before I can even be a fighter. So I talk my roommate into let me try out. He finally says I can try out.



Anybody else appreaciate the irony here? "I'm the new guy, but I don't want to train someplace that trains new people", "I want to join this elite team, but I don't want to have to prove myself"...

Get over it. Join a group of new people and get fit. Spend a ton of time training. And then, if they ASK you to join, you'll know you're ready.


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## yak sao (Oct 26, 2011)

My 2 sons went through p90X and got in what I considered great shape. One of them wasn't satisfies and went on to do Crossfit.
Either/both of these will serve to get you in shape.
Plus join a MA school that is similar in approach (style wise) to the one your buddy belongs to and work your **** off.
Give it time ( months) and you'll be ready to re try.


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## Never_A_Reflection (Oct 26, 2011)

Buka said:


> I do not believe, not for one minute, that any of this post is true.



Agreed, unless by "roommate" he means "brother I share a room with" and he's 10 years old.


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## Tez3 (Oct 26, 2011)

Buka said:


> I do not believe, not for one minute, that any of this post is true.



I can believe it... if some of the people who contact us for matching on fight nights are anything to go by! I've seen the same arrogance from them, after all how hard can it be to do martial arts!


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## crushing (Oct 26, 2011)

Buka said:


> I do not believe, not for one minute, that any of this post is true.



I think it is the start to an Occupy Gym movement.


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## Cyriacus (Oct 26, 2011)

It only seems "Callous" because youre the one being affected by it.

But consider that they not only allowed you to try once, but twice.
They LET YOU TRY AGAIN.
And they let you try at all, when they probably knew the odds were against you.
For no reason other than to be polite.

And yeah, you cannot keep up with them. Why do you think People dont try and get into these types of things until they can cut it?
Consider that all of them can cut it. But they werent born like that.
They became like that, and then they joined up.

Train Hard. Because now you know what Hard Training looks like. And because however youve Trained until now has probably been Soft by comparison.
Get with it, or go somewere more around your level, simply.


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## David43515 (Oct 27, 2011)

Look, they didn`t say "don`t ever come back". They said "don`t come back until you`re ready to hang with us without slowing us down". That means the respnsability of getting into better shape is yours. (Talk to your roommate again, without any ego ie: REALLY listen to his advice and see if you need to build a foundation of technique they can polish as well, or if it`s just conditioning you need.)

You say that you`re in shape because you play sports, that`s great. But you`re obviously not in the same kind of shape those guys are in. Spend some time somewhere else getting in shape and building a foundation of skill so that you`ve got something to work with. Don`t assume they have enough time to stopp their own training to focus on taking you from zero to hero. That`s not being a good training partner. It`s not too different from wanting to lift weights with someone 3x your size: Yeah, they could help you....but you aren`t strong enough to realistically  give them a spot that would keep them from getting injured.


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## wildcat91 (Oct 27, 2011)

Agreed why don't you read what you just wrote from their perspective.  If you were able to keep up, I'm sure you could have stayed.  Now you kow what the expectations are and you have a goal.


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## Tez3 (Oct 27, 2011)

Is the OP coming back?


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## jks9199 (Oct 27, 2011)

At a guess...  No.  "Disappointed" rings like a one-use screenname.  And they didn't get a pat on the back about how poorly they were treated.  Oh well...


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## Tez3 (Oct 27, 2011)

jks9199 said:


> At a guess... No. "Disappointed" rings like a one-use screenname. And they didn't get a pat on the back about how poorly they were treated. Oh well...



Oh dear how sad never mind.


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## Thesemindz (Oct 27, 2011)

The OP refers to his roommate as a "professional kickboxer." I can't think of any professional sport where I could show up on the practice field with zero experience or knowledge in the sport and expect to keep up or be welcome. I couldn't show up at an NFL practice and say "hey guys, I do some sports, let me join your workouts. Teach me how this game works." I couldn't show up at an NBA practice and expect to run baseline suicides and ask Kobe to show me how to dribble and pass. They warned him, then they showed him, and somehow they're the a-holes? THEY'RE PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES. That's a whole different level. If you aren't, you can't. Period. Now you might be able to train up to that level, but nobody with zero experience can play as a walk on. It's really that simple. Everybody starts at the beginning. To me, this smacks of arrogance and a complete lack of understanding of what martial arts really is and what it takes to be a pro. -Rob


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## Thesemindz (Oct 27, 2011)

I used to teach black belt level kenpo classes at a local school, and even people with a couple of years of martial arts training wouldn't have been able to either keep up with the physical intensity or participate in the training at that level. I had a black belt workout at my house a few weeks ago where we trained, combatively, to the point of exhaustion and minor injuries. Beginners wouldn't be able to keep up with that. And we aren't professional athletes. We're just some dudes. Civilians. Average Joe American. Hell, I'm a hundred pounds overweight and I've run fit young men into the ground in our training. You can't jump in at the top level. It takes years to adjust to that kind of training. Even when you aren't doing it professionally. -Rob


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## jks9199 (Oct 27, 2011)

Fitness is activity specific.  I can train for hours without a problem -- but I'd kick your *** if you told me to run 3 miles.  That's what they make cars and bicycles and radios for!  I used to laugh at one guy who looked to be in fantastic shape -- but would invariably gas out about halfway through the second round of a fight.  Why?  Because he was training for looks, not the specific combination of endurance needed for fighting.

The OP may well be in pretty good shape -- but doing a kickboxing/MMA workout could very possibly have been beyond his ability.  Especially if he doesn't have any prior martial arts training.


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## Carol (Oct 27, 2011)

Pro or not, the tale is too fangirl-ish/fanboy-ish.  What's starkly missing is love and respect for the sport.

Most folks get in to sports for the love of the game, not because the guys on the team are swell and they wanna be around them.  And the people that love the game, find a way to do it no matter what.   Ever see guys in wheelchairs playing hockey?  They strategize, shoot, score, rotate, and yes...fight...they just do it on sleds instead of skates.  Its hockey!  That's the love of the game.

Some years ago, I had a Dell rep that was big in to running.  Apparantly Austin has a pretty big fitness scene.  He thought he was one of the best runners in the park, when some jacketed blur sped past him........navigating a baby jogger.  The blur?  Lance Armstrong.    He says he saw Lance out a few times and each time he saw him, he would try to keep up.  He never could, at least not for very long.   I don't think he was outraged that Lance didn't stop or ask the guy to run with him.  On the contrary, he thought being schooled by a pro athlete pushing a baby carriage was inspiring in some ways and damn funny in others.  That's respect for the sport.


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## Grenadier (Oct 28, 2011)

Looks like someone needs a lesson in humility and practicality.  



You can't just step into an advanced training seminar, no matter how good of an athlete you are.  

For one thing, your body isn't ready to handle the rigors of such a training method.  Even if you're athletic, you might not have the right level of athleticism to step into such a workout.  Furthermore, it takes time to develop the right kind of conditioning.  The class you attended was for an advanced group, who has had the proper conditioning.  

Second, you do not have the fundamentals needed to train at a high level just yet.  It's no different than a white belt who asks me to teach him kata Unsu (one of the most difficult in the Shotokan system), and he gets frustrated when his stances are wobbly, and that he falls flat on his face when trying to execute the vaunted 540 degree manuver at the end.  

The coach was entirely in the right, for telling you to better prepare yourself the next time around.  Once you have accumulated significant martial arts experience in a respectable system, under a good instructor, then you may find yourself ready to handle the rigors.  


I'm going to be even blunter than the others here.   Your situation reminds me of the movie "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back."  

In a nutshell, you should think of yourself as Luke Skywalker, who only had a very short time of training, even though he had superior talent.  After getting your hand chopped off by the highly skilled and practiced Darth Vader in a one-sided lightsaber duel, you had to retreat.  

Now, what you do after having retreated is going to shape how you'll develop.  If you choose to be patient, train hard in the arts, do some studying, then the next time around, you may very well end up beating the Dark Lord of the Sith.  You're going to have to face the music first, though, and in my best Master Yoda impersonation:



> "_No. Unfortunate that you rushed to face him&#8230; that incomplete was your training. Not ready for the burden were you."_



Again, think of this as a test for you.  If you train first, and then ready yourself for the next time around, I honestly believe that the coach will be very impressed with you, that you had the fortitude to overcome your previous obstacles, and became a stronger person as a result.


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## Grenadier (Oct 28, 2011)

On another note, we all have to start somewhere. 

We were all neophytes at one time. 

In your case, you need to realize that you must build up your endurance the right way, and that's by training in the arts first, rather than to rely on sheer athleticism. If you can learn this, then your previous athleticism will give you a boost, once you've built things up properly, and may even give you a leg up on the others. However, let's be patient, and start from scratch.


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## Xue Sheng (Oct 28, 2011)

Thesemindz said:


> The OP refers to his roommate as a "professional kickboxer." I can't think of any professional sport where I could show up on the practice field with zero experience or knowledge in the sport and expect to keep up or be welcome.




:eye-popping: You...you mean...just cuz I drive a car I can't jump in a formula one racer and race at Le Mans and just because I can walk I cannot go join the US Olympic Track Team :disgust: ...DAMN!!!! :uhyeah:


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## Cyriacus (Oct 28, 2011)

Xue Sheng said:


> :eye-popping: You...you mean...just cuz I drive a car I can't jump in a formula one racer and race at Le Mans and just because I can walk I cannot go join the US Olympic Track Team :disgust: ...DAMN!!!! :uhyeah:



...Of... Course you can... buddy...
Dont let anyone ruin your Dreams!

And various other nonsense.


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## clfsean (Oct 28, 2011)

Xue Sheng said:


> :eye-popping: You...you mean...just cuz I drive a car I can't jump in a formula one racer and race at Le Mans and just because I can walk I cannot go join the US Olympic Track Team :disgust: ...DAMN!!!! :uhyeah:



Is for true...


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## Xue Sheng (Oct 28, 2011)

Cyriacus said:


> ...Of...Course you can... buddy...
> Dont letanyone ruin your Dreams!
> 
> Andvarious other nonsense.


 
Good...well then... since I train Martial Arts I am off to challenge Wladimir Klitschko for his heavy weight boxing title



clfsean said:


> Isfor true...


 
Oh....well then.... I'm off for a cup of tea instead after that Wladimir Klitschkomaybe


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## Carol (Oct 28, 2011)

Xue Sheng said:


> Good...well then... since I train Martial Arts I am off to challenge Wladimir Klitschko for his heavy weight boxing title
> 
> 
> 
> Oh....well then.... I'm off for a cup of tea instead&#8230; after that Wladimir Klitschko&#8230;maybe



Hammer fixes everything!


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## Xue Sheng (Oct 28, 2011)

carol said:


> hammer fixes everything!



:highfive: EXACTLY!!!:bangahead:


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## OKenpo942 (Nov 3, 2011)

I would ask what kind of workouts you could do to get ready to train with them. I didn't hear you say that he told you not to come back. I heard him say not to come back until you could keep up. To me, this would be a motivator to get into the kind of shape it would take to complete their workout. At the same time, you could find another place to train, get some experience, and then try again. 

If they are a team, they are only as strong as their weakest link. They don't want that. They want every member to be elite. If you are not there now, get there and quit whining about them having high standards. 

Why do you think cops get along best with other cops? Or special forces with other special forces? Because they have common experiences and interests. You don't just walk into a group and become one of the guys. You have to earn your spot. Pay your dues so to speak. Nobody likes a whiner. Put in the work and make them want you. 

Sorry if this is offensive, but I get tired of groups or organizations lowering their standards to allow weaker people to be able to join them. This is BS. I don't care who you are, what you look like, what kind of education you have, or how much money you have. Can you do what is expected of everyone else in the group? Did you do what they had to do to get there? That is what matters. You do those things, you will be accepted.

James


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## deathinshadows (Nov 4, 2011)

Howzit dude. 

Some things to consider. I personally teach martial arts and very seldom other guys even from our own system can join my school. They all want to, but never last. Here you are dealing with a group of guys who put in the time. You didn't. You don't mention how old you are and when last you played sports. But the average gym workout is nothing compared to elite athletes. Exercises they do will seem strange and therefore their bodies and minds are conditioned differently. Simply put, you are not good enough. Put in the time. We all had to start somewhere. I think it will be a bit arrogant to simply tell the coach you want to be on the team and he must help you. Speak to your mate first. And stop abusing the friendship to your advantage. Take his advice. But learn which questions to ask. If you simply ask How can i get on the team? The response will be farting against a thunderstorm. Ask what exercises you should do. What conditioning exercises you must do. WHat you should focus on. Be specific. And hopefully you can earn your spot amongst them and not get there with the help and good words of a friend. Because believe it or not. He vouched for you, and now you reflect badly on him. Think about your actions and stick your ego in your pocket.
Good luck


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