# Karate Lessons



## Yeti (Oct 4, 2007)

This is hillarious....

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/02/onion.karate/index.html


----------



## Flying Crane (Oct 4, 2007)

gotta love the Onion.  The only news worth reading!


----------



## KempoGuy06 (Oct 4, 2007)

Yeti said:


> This is hillarious....
> 
> http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/02/onion.karate/index.html


pretty good

B


----------



## DavidCC (Oct 4, 2007)

awesome


----------



## terryl965 (Oct 4, 2007)

Well those lesson really paid off.


----------



## stone_dragone (Oct 4, 2007)

A heart warming story as only the Onion can write.


----------



## theletch1 (Oct 4, 2007)

"As Sensei Steve used to say......"
"Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap any more.":lfao:


----------



## exile (Oct 4, 2007)

The Onion is hysterical... I remember one story they did on how due to a secretarial error, Mother Theresa had wound up in Hell, with St. Peter simultaneously promising a full and impartial investigation into how it happened while cautioning everyone that it was unfortunately too late to do anything about it _now_, and then complaining that mistakes will happen even in the best-run companies when millions of souls a day are being processed; _you_ just try doing it for a day or two and see how far you get, etc etc. They did another one on how a vast, previously unknown region between the West Coast and East Coast had just been discovered, called the Midwest... they're really the best ever at that kind of humor, whatever it is...


----------



## Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu (Oct 4, 2007)

"The white-belt also said the lessons he learned could prove valuable should he need to protect himself against any future involvement in swimming or violin lessons."

When I read this part I laughed so hard I spit the water I was sipping all over the monitor.  I'm going to have to print that one out and hang it at the dojo!​


----------



## Jade Tigress (Oct 4, 2007)

> *ENGLEWOOD, Colorado (The Onion)* -- After months of being taught to develop courage, inner strength and other values of the martial arts, Daniel Finkelstein finally achieved the self-confidence necessary to stand up to his parents and quit taking karate lessons, the area sixth-grader reported Monday.
> 
> 
> Karate classes like this have given Daniel Finkelstein, 11, the ability to abandon things halfway through.
> ...



Full Article


----------



## Kacey (Oct 4, 2007)

What's really interesting is I live less than 10 miles from Englewood... and I saw this story _here_ - not on anything local!


----------



## jazkiljok (Oct 5, 2007)

> "I never thought I had it in me," said Finkelstein, who claimed he was prepared to use physical aggression only as a last resort to drop out of the martial arts class. "It was just like Sensei Steve used to say: 'Only by believing in yourself can you overcome the obstacles that lie ahead.' "
> 
> Added Finkelstein: "Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap anymore."



that one made me fall over laughing...


----------



## Jade Tigress (Oct 5, 2007)

Hey! I already posted this in the Comedy Cafe!


----------



## Lynne (Oct 5, 2007)

"When Daniel first showed up to class, he was like many of the other kids we see -- timid, unsure of himself, and very insecure," Guardino said. "But look at him now: He's gone." 

Too funny!


----------



## FieldDiscipline (Oct 5, 2007)

jazkiljok said:


> that one made me fall over laughing...



And me. :rofl:


----------



## CoryKS (Oct 5, 2007)

"It's like there's nothing I can't quit now if I just put my mind to it"  :rofl:


----------



## DavidCC (Oct 5, 2007)

Kacey said:


> What's really interesting is I live less than 10 miles from Englewood... and I saw this story _here_ - not on anything local!


 
Kacey, the story is completely made-up.  That's what the Onion is... made-up news for comedy.


----------



## Kacey (Oct 5, 2007)

DavidCC said:


> Kacey, the story is completely made-up.  That's what the Onion is... made-up news for comedy.



I know... it was just kinda weird, y'know?


----------



## shesulsa (Oct 6, 2007)

Admin note:  Threads merged. - G Ketchmark / shesulsa, MT Assist. Admin.


----------



## newGuy12 (Oct 8, 2007)

theletch1 said:


> "As Sensei Steve used to say......"
> "Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap any more.":lfao:



Whoo, Boy, I needed that!  Hahahaha!


----------

