# Promoted himself to black belt.



## hardheadjarhead (Nov 14, 2004)

Had a guy come in yesterday and buy a black belt.  He watched classes for awhile and my wife casually asked him if he was a black belt, and where he trained.

He said he and his buddy made up their own style...and said "So I guess I'm a black belt."

Sigh.

I think I'll go bang my head against a wall.  It is, after all, worthy of my moniker.


Regards,

Steve


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## Bob Hubbard (Nov 14, 2004)

So that's how you do it.

Heck, now I don't have to goto class anymore, I can just wack some trees and buy a belt.

Wait!  I have black dye, and a white belt!  YES!
I now don my black belt on Scooby Do ryu Kung Pow.


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## D_Brady (Nov 14, 2004)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> So that's how you do it.
> 
> Heck, now I don't have to goto class anymore, I can just wack some trees and buy a belt.
> 
> ...



Do you do any Scooby forms


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## TigerWoman (Nov 14, 2004)

But why was the guy watching the class?  Wannabe but can't act on it?  Trying to pickup some moves to fake it?  And when he does put on that belt who's he trying to impress especially if he can't even tie it right to begin with?  Then I know of a husband (not mine) who puts down his wife and says she is buying her belt when in actuality is working very hard, he just never bothers to ever come and see. Alot of people are living in their own world. TW


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## D_Brady (Nov 14, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> Then I know of a husband (not mine) who puts down his wife and says she is buying her belt when in actuality is working very hard, he just never bothers to ever come and see. Alot of people are living in their own world. TW




I see it also, I HAD a student who came to class feeling defeated as soon as she came throught he door.

The class would work on various scenarios and she's feeling great, then the next class walking in with her head down again. At this point I know it's the hubby at home, so I say to the class (all women) is it possible for your husbands or boy friends to make to class so they can see what your training is and how to help you train at home.

I got some good feedback from most except her, in front of everyone she says my husband said this stuff is a waste of time and if I ever get attacked I'm dead anyway (he always says this as she leaves the house for class)

This didn't shock me I figured this might be the case, but I was hoping he would at least show up to find out. I saw him in the parking lot one day and I let him know he was invited, he began to say how great an idea that was and how good this was for his wife and all the other women in class.

We shook hands said see ya later and I went back into class, that was her last day at my school.

Was I surprised no, did it bother me, a little. The real problem is no matter her training , if you believe the moment your attcked that your going to die , then I belive you will.

Back to that self promoted Black Belt, he won't last long and hopefuly he dosen't do much harm before he's exposed, That's about all you can hope for.

Unless he starts a Women's self-defense class and they kick the crap out of him, I'd be ok with that.


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## TigerWoman (Nov 14, 2004)

Yeah, occasionally some self-defense classes pop up around here usually for one class.    For the most part it is just a foray to see if a new school would have support and are by reputable black belts from other towns.  But then some aren't ... maybe I should start going to those for the reason you mentioned.  TW


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## Flatlander (Nov 14, 2004)

How much does this bother you, Steve?  Would you be prepared to seek him out, and check out a couple of his classes - perhaps discouraging him from duping unsuspecting students by shaming him through demonstrating his lack of abilities?  I know, it's harsh, but geez.  This is the kind of stuff that damages the credibility of all legitimate instructors, and could feasibly hurt your reputation.  All he needs to say is "I recieved my black belt from Steve Scott", and suddenly your reputation is involved.  

What a fubar.


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## Kenpo Mama (Nov 14, 2004)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> How much does this bother you, Steve? Would you be prepared to seek him out, and check out a couple of his classes - perhaps discouraging him from duping unsuspecting students by shaming him through demonstrating his lack of abilities? I know, it's harsh, but geez. This is the kind of stuff that damages the credibility of all legitimate instructors, and could feasibly hurt your reputation. All he needs to say is "I recieved my black belt from Steve Scott", and suddenly your reputation is involved.
> 
> What a fubar.


You know Steve, Dan has a point!  Why didn't he just go to a supply store or get one on the internet.  No - he came to you - so now he can say - "oh I received my black belt from Steve".  Man this really urks me!  What a booger!

Donna :ultracool


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## TigerWoman (Nov 14, 2004)

Well if Steve gives out fancy embroidered ones with his school name on it and the name of the holder that would differentiate it.  But to the general unknowing public, its a belt and its black-wow.  But, a fake wouldn't last long in a class/school situation if word of mouth gets around like it does in our town.  

And also nowhere is it mentioned that that guy has a class, just probaby boxes in the garage with a buddy--his style.  Who knows?  But definitely something to keep ears open to...any new classes starting in town. TW


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 14, 2004)

It's people like that in which gives martial arts a bad name. It'll only be a matter of time before he gets students that will figure him out. Most likely after they watch a class that someone else teaches that legitly got their belts with old fashioned hard work.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 14, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> But why was the guy watching the class?  Wannabe but can't act on it?  Trying to pickup some moves to fake it?  And when he does put on that belt who's he trying to impress especially if he can't even tie it right to begin with?  Then I know of a husband (not mine) who puts down his wife and says she is buying her belt when in actuality is working very hard, he just never bothers to ever come and see. Alot of people are living in their own world. TW



His buddy was taking our judo class.  I'm going to have to mention it to the instructor...see what he says.  _The one watching says he never took any formal classes._

That wife you mentioned needs to reach out and grab her hubbies testes and squeeeeeeeeeeze.  Slowly at first, so as to get a whimpering plea for mercy and wheedling negotiation.  Then harder so as to settle the issue with his gurgling and breathless pants of desperation.

Geez.  He needs Doctor Phil.


Regards,


Steve


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## TigerWoman (Nov 14, 2004)

Or she could say, honey, I bought you a black belt, now that we're equal, I can show you some of my skills... it won't hurt too much.   TW


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## Flatlander (Nov 14, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> Or she could say, honey, I bought you a black belt, now that we're equal, I can show you some of my skills... it won't hurt too much.  TW


:rofl:  Nice!  I like your style!


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## Feisty Mouse (Nov 14, 2004)

D_Brady said:
			
		

> I see it also, I HAD a student who came to class feeling defeated as soon as she came throught he door.
> 
> The class would work on various scenarios and she's feeling great, then the next class walking in with her head down again. At this point I know it's the hubby at home, so I say to the class (all women) is it possible for your husbands or boy friends to make to class so they can see what your training is and how to help you train at home.
> 
> ...


Sounds like she had to put up with a lot of verbal abuse at home, and then was no longer allowed to come to class.

I'd like to kick the (blank blank) out of that guy.

Or a slow choke.  Either way.


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## D_Brady (Nov 14, 2004)

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> Sounds like she had to put up with a lot of verbal abuse at home, and then was no longer allowed to come to class.
> 
> I'd like to kick the (blank blank) out of that guy.
> 
> Or a slow choke.  Either way.




Are suggesting slowly choking as you do the Riverdance on his groin.

(ouch)


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## shesulsa (Nov 14, 2004)

Hey, Feisty, let's tag-team him.  One of us can put the choke on until he starts to pass out, then revive him long enough for us to Riverdance on his groin (as D_Brady so fondly suggested), then put the choke on again, etc. etc. etc.

 I got a few hours to kill, you?


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## BrandiJo (Nov 14, 2004)

oh can i join ya... i dont know much yet ...but im sure i can come up with something fun  :btg:


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## Cryozombie (Nov 14, 2004)

Now Now ladies, thats not why you learn martial arts...


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## BrandiJo (Nov 14, 2004)

aww your no fun


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## pakua (Nov 15, 2004)

D_Brady said:
			
		

> do the Riverdance on his groin.



That seems pretty 'armless to me.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Hey, Feisty, let's tag-team him.  One of us can put the choke on until he starts to pass out, then revive him long enough for us to Riverdance on his groin (as D_Brady so fondly suggested), then put the choke on again, etc. etc. etc.
> 
> I got a few hours to kill, you?




Can I watch?  Can I?

I'm...uh...weird...that way.  

Its that_ tamakeri _ thing.


Regards,


Steve


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## someguy (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Hey, Feisty, let's tag-team him.  One of us can put the choke on until he starts to pass out, then revive him long enough for us to Riverdance on his groin (as D_Brady so fondly suggested), then put the choke on again, etc. etc. etc.
> 
> I got a few hours to kill, you?


Yeah so manythings could be said but umm then I'd get hurt really badly for saying them. So I'll just leave that alone now.

Hey I'm liking this idea.  How much does a black belt cost.  Hmm I think I'm going to make my own style.  it will be called whata goo siam style.  Say it real fast now  Whatagoosiam.  

A duck says quack and a cow says moo what does a goose say?  Important reserch for my style I must know what to replace kia with.


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## shesulsa (Nov 15, 2004)

Actually, ya never know with some people.  He might have just been kidding around.  Maybe he was buying the belt for a student and said what he did just to see your reaction.

 I might know someone who might do something like that, but I would never expose him or her.  :idunno:


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> His buddy was taking our judo class.  I'm going to have to mention it to the instructor...see what he says.  _The one watching says he never took any formal classes._
> 
> That wife you mentioned needs to reach out and grab her hubbies testes and squeeeeeeeeeeze.  Slowly at first, so as to get a whimpering plea for mercy and wheedling negotiation.  Then harder so as to settle the issue with his gurgling and breathless pants of desperation.
> 
> ...




An anonymous negative rep point for THIS?  Apparently he/she didn't like the Dr. Phil reference.

Geez.  You need Doctor Phil, too.  To quote him, "WHAT were you THINKIN'?"

It matters not. I'm still a "Glorious beacon of light," so nanny boo boo on you, too.


Regards,


Steve


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## Satt (Nov 15, 2004)

I think I am gonna make up a martial art that incorporates "Tantric" principles in the hearts of everyone. artyon:  LOL.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Actually, ya never know with some people.  He might have just been kidding around.  Maybe he was buying the belt for a student and said what he did just to see your reaction.
> 
> I might know someone who might do something like that, but I would never expose him or her.  :idunno:




I'll find out eventually.  'Tis a small enough town that if this guy starts wearing said belt, and others dispute it, it'll become well known.  

He'll never wear it in here, that's for sure.


Regards,


Steve


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## Flatlander (Nov 15, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> An anonymous negative rep point for THIS? Apparently he/she didn't like the Dr. Phil reference.
> 
> Geez. You need Doctor Phil, too. To quote him, "WHAT were you THINKIN'?"
> 
> ...


Steve, dontcha know it's like, totally lame to quote yourself?  You are so, like, totally lame. :moon:


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## shesulsa (Nov 15, 2004)

Welcome to the Lame Club, Steve!  I am a member, as is Flatlander.  Wow - with Steve and Dan, I feel like I'm in good company!  Warm fuzzies all 'round!


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

A negative rep point and now allegations of lameness?

I'm a sensitive man, Dan.  I'm crying now.

I know...I know...I shouldn't let my life revolve around the opinions of others <sob!>...Dr. Phil would say, "How is that workin' for ya?"   And it isn't...it isn't working <sniffle>.  If I could just do as he says and "get a spine" I'd be able to handle the cruel barbs of Dan ("lame?"  Et tu, Brute?) and my anonymous red rep point giver.

And with that strength...I know I could conquer my fears and lose twenty pounds.

Maybe...maybe someday.  

I've TiVo'd Dr. Phil and he talks to me every night.  There is hope.  I must believe....  

Lamely,


Steve


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## Feisty Mouse (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Hey, Feisty, let's tag-team him. One of us can put the choke on until he starts to pass out, then revive him long enough for us to Riverdance on his groin (as D_Brady so fondly suggested), then put the choke on again, etc. etc. etc.
> 
> I got a few hours to kill, you?


lol!!!  Sounds like a plan to me....

Hey, Steve, just because others can't see your glorious beacon - I mean, that you *are* a glorious beacon - doesn't mean that should get you down!


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> lol!!!  Sounds like a plan to me....
> 
> Hey, Steve, just because others can't see your glorious beacon - I mean, that you *are* a glorious beacon...




Shhhh!!!

You weren't supposed to tell people that was my special pet name for _it._



Regards,


Steve


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## shesulsa (Nov 15, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> Shhhh!!!
> 
> You weren't supposed to tell people that was my special pet name for _it._


 _(SS dons facial expression of Beavis)_ ... heh-heh ... heh-heh .... _(taunts)_

 Steve has a glorious beacon!  Steve has a glorious beacon!


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## Flatlander (Nov 15, 2004)

> Steve has a glorious beacon! Steve has a glorious beacon!


:rofl:  What does this say of me, I wonder?  :rofl:


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## TigerWoman (Nov 15, 2004)

someguy said:
			
		

> A duck says quack and a cow says moo what does a goose say?  Important reserch for my style I must know what to replace kia with.



goose says honk - alot of honkers going by these days above M'Sota.
But everyone would sound like they have a cold. not good.

I don't know about kia, but I refuse to say pow upon strikes (my instructor wants everybody to)  so I adopted Feisty's GAH!  Hey it comes from the diaphragm and is much more scary!    TW


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## Feisty Mouse (Nov 15, 2004)

LOL!!!!  I am absolutely delighted to know that "GAH!" is making the rounds.  TigerWoman, you made me laugh!


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## Cryozombie (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> _(SS dons facial expression of Beavis)_ ... heh-heh ... heh-heh .... _(taunts)_
> 
> Steve has a glorious beacon! Steve has a glorious beacon!


There is something REALLY wrong with me because I read that as Bacon.

:idunno:

I think I need to go back to 4th grade english class and learn to read all over again.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 15, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> _(SS dons facial expression of Beavis)_ ... heh-heh ... heh-heh .... _(taunts)_
> 
> Steve has a glorious beacon!  Steve has a glorious beacon!




And now I am "a name known to all," thanks to green rep points you all  gave me.  

Everyone knows about my bacon beacon now, thanks in part to all of you.  There's no hiding it, what with it shining and all.  I guess the line from women now will be, "Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"



Regards,


Steve


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## shesulsa (Nov 15, 2004)

Yes, Steve, but you must remember that although you are a glorious beacon of light, Flatlander is a splendid one to behold.

 All behold the splendid one!


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## TigerWoman (Nov 15, 2004)

Nice save, shesulsa.  or maybe not....   TW


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## bignick (Nov 15, 2004)

hey...there's nothing wrong with just being a jewel in the rough...

but get a tad on topic here...so the guy just came in and bought a black belt? Obviously, as you said yourself, you won't let him train with that rank in your school.  Then why did you sell him the belt?


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## shesulsa (Nov 15, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> hey...there's nothing wrong with just being a jewel in the rough...


 You are quite right, me friend.



			
				bignick said:
			
		

> Then why did you sell him the belt?


 Steve, I just assumed that you are also running a supply area out of your dojang, is that not correct?

 I went to the only martial arts supply store in the area and bought a second black belt (plain and unembroidered) to work out in and decided to keep my embroidered belt for special occasions like tests, seminars, etcetera.  I'm not the only one to do this in my club.


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## bignick (Nov 15, 2004)

supply store...oh, ok....got it

SS, that's a pretty common practice in my TKD school as well...my instructor has two or three belts...on is the first one he ever got with just the tape to mark degrees and the other one is his "dress" belt...

I've actually never met a judo or jujutsu instructor who has there degrees on their belt...of course of the judo ones above sixth dan mark it with the red and white belt...and those above 9th mark it with just a red belt...


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## Adept (Nov 15, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> I don't know about kia, but I refuse to say pow upon strikes (my instructor wants everybody to)


 Pow? _POW?!_ They want you to say _pow_?! 

 :rofl:

 I think perhaps someone has been watching too many old episodes of Batman.


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## TigerWoman (Nov 15, 2004)

I laugh too, inside.  All I think about is Batman. I had a very nice argument about it and started a thread too.  TW


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## shesulsa (Nov 16, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> I laugh too, inside. All I think about is Batman. I had a very nice argument about it and started a thread too. TW


 Yes, we tossed the subject around quite a bit!  

 Pow! Bang! Crash! Ka-POW!  Ouch!  Biff!  Smash!


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## bignick (Nov 16, 2004)

aha....but you forgot about KABLOWEY and WHAM


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 16, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Yes, Steve, but you must remember that although you are a glorious beacon of light, Flatlander is a splendid one to behold.
> 
> All behold the splendid one!




You can get arrested for publicly displaying your spendidness for others to behold.  That has never happened to me, though...and never will again.

As to why I sold the guy the belt--yes, I do run a store out of my school.  There are 100,000 people in Bloomington.  The University here has the largest martial arts program in the U.S. (so they claim), and at I.U. there are black belts from all over the world.  There are six (or seven) commercial schools and mine is the only one selling supplies...I think.  

Because of that, when we sell a black belt, we don't verify a person's credentials.  A person could easily lie, and calling up his instructor to verify his claim to dan ranking wouldn't be worth the whopping $5.30 we charge for a belt.  In this case, had we thought to ask, we might have told him to go elsewhere.  He would have then ordered it out of Black Belt magazine.

At least this way I've identified another fraud and can "out" him to the community.


Regards,


Steve


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## Sarah (Nov 16, 2004)

OMG Steve I laughed SOOOO hard at this, you are so funny!  



			
				hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> And now I am "a name known to all," thanks to green rep points you all gave me.
> 
> Everyone knows about my bacon beacon now, thanks in part to all of you. There's no hiding it, what with it shining and all. I guess the line from women now will be, "Is that a flashlight in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"


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## someguy (Nov 16, 2004)

I have fnially developed a couple of tecniques for my style.  First you honk there nose.  
Don't forget to say honk.  
Second the Igo tyour nose 
Grab there nose an dyou guessed it say I got your nose.
By then they will leave you alone as they will think you insane.  
All else fails kick'em in there beacon and run.
Well know those three and I will sell you a black belt.  But wait.
YOu go from white belt(pay me 35 dollars for that) 10 year contract(haven't figured that out yet for the cost).  The second belt test will be fore your 3 degree after you leanr the first attack(costs 35 for the belt and umm couple hundred for the test)  The second test is with the Igo tyour nose attack and that will get you your 5th degree. 10th with you 3rd tec.
 Nto to worry though you can get your 11th degree belt in my system all you have to do is pay me umm $100.00.
Well who wants to sign up.  I'm a 17th degree black belt. :uhyeah: 

Zok is my favorite onimonopia.


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## 5 hand swords (Nov 16, 2004)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Yes, we tossed the subject around quite a bit!
> 
> Pow! Bang! Crash! Ka-POW! Ouch! Biff! Smash!


Ok sorry but Boof! 
You got to list Boof! if you got Biff! on the list.


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 16, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> OMG Steve I laughed SOOOO hard at this, you are so funny!




Thank you, Sarah.

What I don't generate with my own high levels of dopamine, I shamelessly rip off.  In this case, I ripped off Mae West.


Regards,


Steve


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## 9RingsSensei (Nov 17, 2004)

Ok, this guy buying a black belt thing is crazy. No one should just train and beat up a punching bag in their garage, then go get a black belt for 5 bucks and be equaled to those who train for endless hours in a dojo, or school for 3-5 years. Now, Just to point out something about the make up your own style thing mentioned earlier, I have trained in numerous arts for the past ten years. I was trained privately by a Okinawan Goju-Shorei Instructor until I was brown belt level. it took about a year of 7 days a week training at his home dojo, in which I would train at after work everyday to AC/DC and other adrenaline boosting noises..LOL. Anyway, I moved away, and then went deeply into Jeet Kune Do training in Phoenix Arizona with a man who was certified by ted Wong in Jun Fan Kickboxing, and a tae kwon do 1st Dan as well. I got my closest friends together, and we made my house into a dojo. We would train, and fight all through the house day after day, along with our formal training. I then Took kenpo, judo, jujutsu, and kickboxing at a mixed MA school until I held brown belts in each one, and then studied under Nathan Ligo, the only american to ever be given a black belt by Mas Oyama in JApan before he died in Kyokushin/Budo kArate. ( As advertised in Black belt magazine, the 3 year live in program) So, I combined all the arts I ever studied and trained under, and formed a "collective " Style as I call it, and now that what I do.  Even though I was never given A BLACK BELT by any school or teacher, my experience, and years of experience are equal to, and more extreme than a regular martial arts student. I trained every day, 5-10 hours for almost 5 years before I put on a black belt. The average time to train is 3 years in any school, training 2 or 3 times a week for an hour or so. But martial arts was  an all day thing. My life. I hold the rank of 3rd degree black belt in My own collective style, in which is many styles I was formally taught, combine into one balanced system. I have been teaching for 4 years, and I have never lied or mislead my members. I have a dojo now in Pennsylvania, and it has been running for 1 1/2 years. Everyone who comes here loves what I do, and I get no complaints. But yes I created my own personal style form the systems I learned from legit instructors.


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## Flatlander (Nov 17, 2004)

Well, that brings a few questions to mind.  What have you named your style?  You say you wear a 3rd black - from whom did you receive this accolade?  I ask, not to be disrespectful, but to contextualize your response, and perhaps gain a better insight into the phenomenon of artistic re-organization.


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## OUMoose (Nov 17, 2004)

5 hand swords said:
			
		

> Ok sorry but Boof!
> You got to list Boof! if you got Biff! on the list.


ZOK!  Gotta have ZOK!


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## Feisty Mouse (Nov 17, 2004)

Bort!

Spiff!

Smurf!

Splut!

Wazzoo!

Snack!


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## TigerWoman (Nov 17, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> aha....but you forgot about KABLOWEY and WHAM


Hey, I might try those next!

Maybe Wazzoo, too, like the sound of that, real gutteral-Wah Soooh.  Probably get looks at a tournament - like what Korean word was that??? Impress the heck out of the judges.  TW


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## TigerWoman (Nov 17, 2004)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> Well, that brings a few questions to mind.  What have you named your style?  You say you wear a 3rd black - from whom did you receive this accolade?  I ask, not to be disrespectful, but to contextualize your response, and perhaps gain a better insight into the phenomenon of artistic re-organization.



That's four words in one sentence over twelve letters. So where were you when we did MA Scramble????  BTW what does that mean? TW


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## Flatlander (Nov 17, 2004)

I apologise for my extemporaneous obfuscation. :asian:


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## shesulsa (Nov 17, 2004)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I apologise for my extemporaneous obfuscation. :asian:


 Where's the swear filter when you really need it???

 Hey, if I have to pick up a dictionary more than twice in one post, I'm done for the day.  What with Tess's promotional hullaballo and now this???  Whew - I need more than a cigarette - I think I need a nap and cabfare in the morning!


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 17, 2004)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I apologise for my extemporaneous obfuscation. :asian:




Hey, no problem.  I get that myself occasionally when I eat cabbage or broccoli.  Gotta drive with the windows open when the wife is in the car.


Regards,


Steve


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## Flatlander (Nov 17, 2004)

Sometimes they just leak out.....:ultracool


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## shesulsa (Nov 17, 2004)

Whew!  What's that smell???  Jeez, guys ....


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## hardheadjarhead (Nov 18, 2004)

WHOA!  Flatlander!  If you're sick, go to the hospital!

We're going to have to call you Flatulancelander from here on in, man.

Geez.  My eyes are watering....



Regards,


Steve


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## D_Brady (Nov 18, 2004)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> Sometimes they just leak out.....:ultracool





Or was that the one cheek sneak.





.


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## The Prof (Jan 4, 2005)

A clown is a clown is a clown.  The only thing sadder that being a fool is not knowing that you are a fool.  He and a friend made up their own stuff, too bad you did not get a chance to see it.  At the least it probably would be entertaining.


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