# New Chuck Norris Fact



## skribs

I came up with a Chuck Norris fact of my own...

Mythbusters wanted to do an episode testing Chuck Norris facts, but their insurance plan doesn't cover Acts of God.


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## jks9199

Mythbusters wanted to do a show about Chuck Norris, but there were no myths about Chuck.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk


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## seasoned

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret. Just saying...........


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## Takai

seasoned said:


> Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret. Just saying...........



I don't think that Victoria has an secrets left...just saying.


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## seasoned

Takai said:


> I don't think that Victoria has an secrets left...just saying.



What about the one where she...................


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## Madilyn

LOL.... that was great! Thanks for the laugh...


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## Brmty2002

Chuck Norris partook in a pissing contest outside a bar once. His opponent drowned.
He can also take a woman's virginity twice.
He invented the spoon, because using a knife to kill somebody was too easy.
He sued the creators of "Brokeback mountain" for stealing the name of the pile of dead ninjas in his back yard.

Stay tuned for more!


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## Seizan

On the seventh day God rested, because Chuck Norris told him to take a day off.


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## Paul_D

I did one a few years ago:-  It takes Rhonda Rousey _two_ rounds to arm bar Chuck Norris.  Of course it doesn't work now, but I was pleased with it at the time.


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## Xue Sheng

He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it's definitely his last laugh.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life

Chuck Norris' face was going to be on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard


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## Brmty2002

Every one of Chuck Norris blood cells have black belts.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


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## JR 137

Perhaps a little inappropriate, but oh well...

How does Chuck Norris make his manhood 12 inches long?

He folds it in half.


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## Balrog

When the boogeyman gets ready for bed at night, he checks the closet to see if Chuck Norris is hiding in it.


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## Tarrycat




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## Balrog

Chuck Norris got challenged by Superman.  Loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes.


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## CB Jones

God said “Let there be light”

Chuck Norris replied “Say please”


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## kunetao

Jesus can walk on water...... Chuck Norris can swim on land.


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## Tez3

Ah Chuck Norris aficionados, just what I've been looking for! does anyone know if Chuck competed in Europe at any time? If he did, can you say when. It's important  but I'll let you know why later.


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## Gerry Seymour

Tez3 said:


> Ah Chuck Norris aficionados, just what I've been looking for! does anyone know if Chuck competed in Europe at any time? If he did, can you say when. It's important  but I'll let you know why later.


If it's not in his movies or TV shows, I probably don't know it, except in these "facts".


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## Tez3

gpseymour said:


> If it's not in his movies or TV shows, I probably don't know it, except in these "facts".




I think that's the problem, so many 'facts' but few real ones.
There is what we call a Walt ( someone bloating about his military service) who has been writing in a prestigious New Zealand mental health professionals magazine, we can prove his military 'credentials' are lies but he's also claiming he fought Chuck Norris in a European karate championship, he stops short of saying who won but no one can find proof that Chuck ever competed in Europe.
The most worrying thing apart from his, as Americans call it stolen valour and fake martial arts history is that we think his counselling and hypno therapy is fake too.


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## Gerry Seymour

Tez3 said:


> I think that's the problem, so many 'facts' but few real ones.
> There is what we call a Walt ( someone bloating about his military service) who has been writing in a prestigious New Zealand mental health professionals magazine, we can prove his military 'credentials' are lies but he's also claiming he fought Chuck Norris in a European karate championship, he stops short of saying who won but no one can find proof that Chuck ever competed in Europe.
> The most worrying thing apart from his, as Americans call it stolen valour and fake martial arts history is that we think his counselling and hypno therapy is fake too.


Yikes.


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## kunetao

Well if someone is lying about their military carrier.... Then everything else is probably bullshido. Hell the military to be in all you have to do is NOT QUIT..


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## JR 137

kunetao said:


> Well if someone is lying about their military carrier.... Then everything else is probably bullshido. Hell the military to be in all you have to do is NOT QUIT..


Well, you’ve got Sen Blumenthal of Connecticut who outright lied about his Vietnam war service. Made up stories about fighting and saving people. Come to find out he was in the reserves and I don’t think he stepped foot on Vietnam soil.

Yet he’s a senator who’s been re-elected after the lie was exposed and was one of the senators questioning Kavanaugh. Paraphrasing Blumenthal, he said something along the lines of once a liar always a liar or once untrustworthy always untrustworthy to Kavaunagh. Gotta love it. Then you had another senator (can’t remember his name) who admitted to molesting a child when he was a child himself, yet he’s somehow credible enough to question Kavanaugh about his past.

Where am I going with all that? Bullshido. It’s everywhere. Doesn’t matter which side of the political, ideological, etc. fence you stand on. Bullshido is bullshido. Just like the guy Tez mentions. It’s all sickening.


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## CB Jones

*Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus* is a Latinphrase meaning "false in one thing, false in everything."[


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## JR 137

CB Jones said:


> *Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus* is a Latinphrase meaning "false in one thing, false in everything."[


Pretty sure that was Blumenthal’s line in the hearing. How he could say that with a straight face is beyond me. Then again, he’s got a ton of political experience and training.


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## Buka

Wait, what? Are you telling me a rich, private school brat who grew up to be a democratic senator told a lie?

*Blasphemer!*


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## Xue Sheng




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