# Thought Provoking Phases of Friendships



## KenpoTess (Nov 25, 2003)

Do you ever notice in friendships  how we tend to go through phases.  Hot/Cold.. nothing really inbetween.  
We tend to either give it our all or just quasi go through the motions.  You may be great friends with someone, doing stuff with them all the time, then suddenly.. Nothing really changes.. but they are no longer 'there'.  This is an observation over the years and I'm wondering why it tends to occur.  
People just wander off in their own worlds, ceasing to care?  Or too busy to even notice there's anything wrong.

What are your thoughts.


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## Touch Of Death (Nov 25, 2003)

Sometimes freinds come to you with their problems. You don't have that problem; so, you tell them exactly how to solve the problem. What you get is a million reasons why they can't do the simple thing you tell them to do. There is only so much of this one can take before you give up. These are my thoughts.


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## MartialArtsChic (Nov 25, 2003)

I've often wondered this myself and I don't think there's really any one answer for it.  

Somewhere along the line, I figured out, at least for me that some people are only meant to be in your life for a little while and if they are then hopefully somewhere along the way you learned either something from them or something about yourself for having known them.  This is the reasoning that has occurred more often then not with me.  I have many people who were in my life for a long, long time, always doing things, then it just stopped.  I think about them now as time has passed with a certain fondness and know that they just weren't supposed to be in my life forever.  But I am a better person for having known them for just a little while.

However, there are other reasons too.  You are right, some people just get so busy with their lives, they don't have time for friends and by the time they get around to thinking about it, they figured they've been gone so long that why bother?

Pretty sad, I think.

Lorrie


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## KenpoTess (Nov 25, 2003)

Lorrie and Touch.. I think you both have some good reasoning behind your thoughts,  Just think back to HS, and all the friends you swore up and down you would never lose track of.. where are they now?  And for whatever reason people you thought were friends through the years.. just vanished.  Maybe you still see them almost daily.. but they retreated from you.. that's another aspect of ponderance.  And with the Internet.. how many people can you really call a friend.. do you have to Know them in reality.  Do you have to at least talk on the phone.. or maybe Internet Friendship is stronger than some real time relationships?
just food for thought 
I like what you said Lorrie, Good stuff 

Tess


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 25, 2003)

There are Friends I can see or call and then we talk for a while and it is like old times. Yet, for many of them their family and or work eats up all their time. They make choices, in my humble opinion, that they think are the best for them and their family.

I also have friends I see regularly, I have know for years from college, yet almost none from High School now.

I have friends only through work, and others only through Martial Arts. Yet, some I only talk to at these events, and others I would loan money too.

I have friends I have only made in the last few years and we are like brothers, and others are just lunch buddies.

It is interesting to think about though. 

:asian:


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## Ceicei (Nov 25, 2003)

I still keep in touch with a friend I knew since we were both three years old in pre-school.  We've always remained friends for over three decades.

However, since leaving for college and then getting married, both of us have not contacted each other as much as we could have.  We average at least once a month or two, and if we do, it's usually for five to fifteen minutes at the most.  I know we could do better--kids and work do keep us both busy.

- Ceicei


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## MartialArtsChic (Nov 25, 2003)

Thanks, Tess.

I can see both sides.  I'm single and don't have any kids so I have more time to go out and get together or talk on the phone.  I do see how work, spouses/kids and their activities take up a lot of time.  I usually just throw it in their lap and they tell me when they are free since my schedule is more flexible.

I have a small core of friends that I have known for 14 years and we've found our balance.  We don't see/do things for months at a time, but when we do get together, it's pure quality catch up time.  I also know that if push comes to shove and when I need them, doesn't matter how long it's been since I've seen them, they'll be there.

As for internet friendships, I think they can work well and sometimes even better.  But both sides still have to work at keeping in touch and keeping it together.

You know, I read somewhere (women's magazine years ago) that people in romantic relationships talk to each other and break up with each other but people who are just friends don't.  They tend to just drift apart and not see/speak again.

Lorrie


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 25, 2003)

I have three bestest friends at home. Out of the buncha folks I came through high school with, I keep in touch with few. We just went our seperate ways. A lot of them either went to Salsbury State or Univeristy of Delaware or a U Maryland campus, while I went to West Virginia. Some of them stayed and went to the community college. If I see them, then we still talk and we remember each other, but this is rare.

And when I'm home, I don't really converse with my college friends.

But I am a big internet socialite. I have at least 5 friends online that I've trusted enough to give my number to, and we've chatted. In fact, I stayed in London for a few days with two ladies I met over a message board. If someone I chat with a lot online asks, then I'll give them my cell number or home address to get snail mail or a call.


As for that drift that happens, I don't know why. I guess it's like I said before, we just go our seperate ways.


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## ABN (Nov 26, 2003)

Commonality or lack of same? Change is the only constant in humanity that I've seen. In H.S. your base of experience is fairly equal. Your world is rather homogenous. 

Post H.S. begins the separation process of one aspect of life and begins the next homogenous environment of college, military etc. You also begin to develop a more complex version of "you".  You begin to shape your value systems and your world view on your own experience rather than on the second hand opinions and experiences of others, such as your parents and teachers. Your base of experience is no longer the same. Your world is very heterogenous now. My friends were in a bunch of different colleges, I was either at Ft. Bragg or in countries that geography major would be hard pressed to find on a map... you have less and less in common. Silence due to absence is easier to accept than tension due to presence. In other words memories of what things were like are sometimes better than the fact that you can't agree on anything anymore. 

Post college (mid to late 20's), you become wrapped up in establishing yourself, changing the world or at least blowing up 35% of the planets surface. Putting down roots perhaps, or the opposite, becoming comfortable as a gypsy. Either way you spend more time developing that sense of your self, your world, and your place in it. Some are also a bit more competitive. I remember hearing that my 10 year reunion was more a case of who's got what, who's doing what, who's doing the best...

Now I'm married more settled and I find myself talking to old friends from HS, college, and the military more often. Most of us are married and in fairly stable careers, some have children, some are still practicing . Marriage and family has brought about a new type of commonality. So it begins again. It's all cyclical. Seeing that some of you are from Shepherdstown reminds me of a friend I had at one point who went to Shepherd. and I wonder what happened to her... 

Anyway, that's my doctoral thesis on the topic...


andy


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## Nightingale (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Touch'O'Death _
> *Sometimes freinds come to you with their problems. You don't have that problem; so, you tell them exactly how to solve the problem. What you get is a million reasons why they can't do the simple thing you tell them to do. There is only so much of this one can take before you give up. These are my thoughts. *




Most of the time, when someone comes to you with their problems, they're not looking for a solution. They're looking for someone to listen.  A lot of times, when you talk things over with someone else you find your own solutions.  The problem will get solved when they're ready to solve it.  Until then, realize you're helping by lending an ear.


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## theletch1 (Nov 26, 2003)

My definition of "friend" is a bit extreme I suppose.  I have tons of people whom I consider acquaintances to one degree or another but no true "friends".  Being a friend is a point of very high responsibilty to me, almost equal to being a sibling.  I had someone that I considered a "friend" from age 5 until age 26.  He betrayed me in a way that was unforgivable.  From that point on I haven't allowed anyone to get that close to me.  I'm not a hermit, stand-offish or introverted, I simply have very concrete boundaries that I do not allow others to cross.  I attempt to be as good a "friend" to others as possible while keeping others at arms length.  I find, surprisingly, that many people don't realize that the intimacy is one way.  I listen well and often, as Nightengale stated, people are just looking for an ear to listen to them.


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## Cryozombie (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *
> 
> But I am a big internet socialite. I have at least 5 friends online that I've trusted enough to give my number to, and we've chatted. In fact, I stayed in London for a few days with two ladies I met over a message board. If someone I chat with a lot online asks, then I'll give them my cell number or home address to get snail mail or a call.
> *



Your Cell Number is in your away message... EVERYONE on the internet has it, I'm sure.  :rofl: 

As for me, I am still close freinds with my best friends from High School.  One of them is my roommate now...  

I stop talking to people because I just get tired of them, and decide I dont really like them.  I assume they do the same to me...


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## KenpoTess (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *My definition of "friend" is a bit extreme I suppose.  I have tons of people whom I consider acquaintances to one degree or another but no true "friends".  Being a friend is a point of very high responsibilty to me, almost equal to being a sibling.  I had someone that I considered a "friend" from age 5 until age 26.  He betrayed me in a way that was unforgivable.  From that point on I haven't allowed anyone to get that close to me.  I'm not a hermit, stand-offish or introverted, I simply have very concrete boundaries that I do not allow others to cross.  I attempt to be as good a "friend" to others as possible while keeping others at arms length.  I find, surprisingly, that many people don't realize that the intimacy is one way.  I listen well and often, as Nightengale stated, people are just looking for an ear to listen to them. *



I am sure with you here.. I have quite a few acquaintances ... friends?  That depends on one's definition.. Someone who has been through the thick and thin with you, who doesn't ask for anything in return, one who cares about you from the inside out... and could care less about the outside, Someone who knows by the expression on your face that you just need a hug, Someone you can sit in that wondrous rare comfortable silence with.  the list goes on.. it's a rarity indeed.. and I can count but 2 people in my life that are friends.. 
The others.. fun people to be around.. but I'm not a part of their lives.. nor they a part of mine.. 
I guess I am a hermit of sorts, betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow.. and trust when once freely given .. is a now a challenge. 
I forgive easily... I never forget.. I don't hate anyone.. the people that have hurt me.. are no longer important enough to have any emotion spent on them.. 

Just rambling


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 26, 2003)

Yes there are people who fall into the following groups:

Friend of an Acquaintance
Acquaintances
Friends of Friends
Friends

Friends I call Brother or Sister
Family


Now in my case the Friends I call Brother or Sister are the closest to me. Family has done things I may not agree with, that would as non family may cause me to think about associating with them.


So, yes there are many levels, and When I posted before I was posting in the general sense of friends representing the complete list.

:asian:


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## Touch Of Death (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Nightingale _
> *Most of the time, when someone comes to you with their problems, they're not looking for a solution. They're looking for someone to listen.  A lot of times, when you talk things over with someone else you find your own solutions.  The problem will get solved when they're ready to solve it.  Until then, realize you're helping by lending an ear. *


 How many decades do you suppose this might take? Because, after a while it can get pretty monotonous. Lou Reed said it best in the song 'Hangin' Round'... "You Keep hangin' 'round me, but I'm not so glad you found me. Cuz your still doin' things that I gave up years ago."


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Technopunk _
> *Your Cell Number is in your away message... EVERYONE on the internet has it, I'm sure.  :rofl:
> 
> As for me, I am still close freinds with my best friends from High School.  One of them is my roommate now...
> *



Thats cuz a good majority of the people on AIM I trust with my number. Plus, half of my list (140 some...) is people from school...be it other college, my college, or high school, or MMA...but most of them are in college anyway...


...my high school friends don't wanna come to west virginia, i don't know why...



...as for Tess's comment on hating ppl...i do hate a few people...but i'll get over it when they swallow their pride and stop spreading crap around campus about me...


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## RCastillo (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Thats cuz a good majority of the people on AIM I trust with my number. Plus, half of my list (140 some...) is people from school...be it other college, my college, or high school, or MMA...but most of them are in college anyway...
> 
> 
> ...



Not a problem. After seeing your pic, I'll come see ya!


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

Aww! Spanx Castillo


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## RCastillo (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Aww! Spanx Castillo  *



Thank you Ma'am may I have another! (With apologies to Animal House)


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Thank you Ma'am may I have another! (With apologies to Animal House) *




Denyed!! 



...well, if your a good boy....


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## RCastillo (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Denyed!!
> 
> 
> ...



Whoa, my heart stopped fora sec, be careful with those!


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## Chronuss (Nov 26, 2003)

at first glance I thought it said "Thought Provoking Friendships"....and all I could think about was everyone at MMA...:rofl:


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Chronuss _
> *at first glance I thought it said "Thought Provoking Friendships"....and all I could think about was everyone at MMA...:rofl: *




wait....we think?


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## Chronuss (Nov 26, 2003)

speak for yourself, Rusty.


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

...what??? *looks at sig line* oh yeah...


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Whoa, my heart stopped fora sec, be careful with those! *




If only I had a digital camera...

...i'd sell it on e-bay!
(i dislike digital)


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## MartialArtsChic (Nov 26, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *I am sure with you here.. I have quite a few acquaintances ... friends?  That depends on one's definition.. Someone who has been through the thick and thin with you, who doesn't ask for anything in return, one who cares about you from the inside out... and could care less about the outside, Someone who knows by the expression on your face that you just need a hug, Someone you can sit in that wondrous rare comfortable silence with.  the list goes on.. it's a rarity indeed.. and I can count but 2 people in my life that are friends..
> The others.. fun people to be around.. but I'm not a part of their lives.. nor they a part of mine..
> I guess I am a hermit of sorts, betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow.. and trust when once freely given .. is a now a challenge.
> ...



Well, your "rambling" has hit some of my views on friendship right on the head.  Always thought it was just me that viewed things this way - well it sure seemed like it.  My definition is also on the extreme side.  I have 3 people I've known for 14 years  these are my friends in every sense of the word even though we don't see each other alot.  Along the way, there have been numerous acquaintances, but no new real friends.  I guess I'm a hermit too, but that's okay.  I can amuse myself greatly.  Friendship is a relationship, just in a different capacity from a romantic one, it needs work too to thrive and survive from both sides.  I'm always open to seeing how things develop with people, because you never know when you'll meet the ones that will be in your life forever as your friends.

Lorrie


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Whoa, my heart stopped fora sec, be careful with those! *



Oh great!  You have found another female on here to flirt with?:rofl:


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *I am sure with you here.. I have quite a few acquaintances ... friends?  That depends on one's definition.. Someone who has been through the thick and thin with you, who doesn't ask for anything in return, one who cares about you from the inside out... and could care less about the outside, Someone who knows by the expression on your face that you just need a hug, Someone you can sit in that wondrous rare comfortable silence with.  the list goes on.. it's a rarity indeed.. and I can count but 2 people in my life that are friends..
> The others.. fun people to be around.. but I'm not a part of their lives.. nor they a part of mine..
> I guess I am a hermit of sorts, betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow.. and trust when once freely given .. is a now a challenge.
> I forgive easily... I never forget.. I don't hate anyone.. the people that have hurt me.. are no longer important enough to have any emotion spent on them..  *



Gosh, I was going to go past this little piece of the forum then I decided not to. Now I need to go back through and see if I ever had any friends.


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by MartialArtsChic _
> *Friendship is a relationship, just in a different capacity from a romantic one, it needs work too to thrive and survive from both sides.  I'm always open to seeing how things develop with people, because you never know when you'll meet the ones that will be in your life forever as your friends.*



Very thought provoking. Between your posts and Tess' posts I'm not sure about any of my friends in life  .  Beginning to think I should leave this thread alone now.

Oh, what a lovely day for a drive to the east side today. Filled with rain all of the way up and all of the way back. Hopefully your turkey day was a good one. Mine was filled up with 3.5 hrs there and back from the east side.:asian:


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## MartialArtsChic (Nov 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Very thought provoking. Between your posts and Tess' posts I'm not sure about any of my friends in life  .  Beginning to think I should leave this thread alone now.
> 
> Oh, what a lovely day for a drive to the east side today. Filled with rain all of the way up and all of the way back. Hopefully your turkey day was a good one. Mine was filled up with 3.5 hrs there and back from the east side.:asian: *



Everyone has their own definition of friendship.  Unfortunately for me, I've had to re-evaluate rather early on what true friendship is to me in my life but I have learned.  Who knows, maybe you'll learn something you never knew that may help in the future by reading this thread instead of passing it by.    But, if you were sure about your friends in life before reading this, then there's no reason to not keep being sure about them after reading this.

I horsed around all day and then drove 10 min. to my sister's house to just sit around and play with my niece while the turkey cooked..and cooked...and cooked.  They need a new oven!

Lorrie


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 27, 2003)

You're my friend, Jason 


as for my turkey day, i can't mention mom's "friend" to dad. shh. *sighs and grumbles about strange fam-damn-bly sitiation* but it was cooked by my mom, my sister, her friends Christine and Eve, me, and Seth and Liz (two more of my sister's friends), and the aforementioned mother's friend Ernie. It went quite well, and the cat sat under the table where the turkey was set COMPLETELY EXOPOSED and didn't once try to take any peice till after everyone had their fill. then i had a brownie, felt the adverse effects while driving back to dad's place.


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## RCastillo (Nov 27, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *You're my friend, Jason
> 
> 
> ...


  Oh Please!


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *You're my friend, Jason  *




Oh, cool!  Thank you,

As for the post below yours here; just remember Castillo is just plain weird.:rofl:


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Oh, cool!  Thank you,
> 
> As for the post below yours here; just remember Castillo is just plain weird.:rofl: *




Aren't we all weird?


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## RCastillo (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Aren't we all weird? *



Thank you my dear, well said.:asian:


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## RCastillo (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *You're my friend, Jason
> 
> 
> as for my turkey day, i can't mention mom's "friend" to dad. shh. *sighs and grumbles about strange fam-damn-bly sitiation* but it was cooked by my mom, my sister, her friends Christine and Eve, me, and Seth and Liz (two more of my sister's friends), and the aforementioned mother's friend Ernie. It went quite well, and the cat sat under the table where the turkey was set COMPLETELY EXOPOSED and didn't once try to take any peice till after everyone had their fill. then i had a brownie, felt the adverse effects while driving back to dad's place. *



A spiked brownie!


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

Hey you... *hugs* I think I need to clarify my post a bit.. when I wrote the above posts, I was feeling rather blahish.. the holidays in the past weren't the best of times for me (the times spent with my ex).. and I was 'waxing nostalgic' so-to-speak... As far as 'friends' go... 
I have often retreated into my own world rather than host a retinue of relationships.  Just because of my past history of innane times. 
You, Jason and I have a friendship indeed.  I wasn't referring to you .. I was lashing out at someone that has rather suddenly cast me aside without any explanation.. someone that I considered a very close friend who shared with me everything.. then suddenly "Nothingness'.  
So don't fret Jason. you are a good friend   
*hugs*
Tess




> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Very thought provoking. Between your posts and Tess' posts I'm not sure about any of my friends in life  .  Beginning to think I should leave this thread alone now.
> 
> Oh, what a lovely day for a drive to the east side today. Filled with rain all of the way up and all of the way back. Hopefully your turkey day was a good one. Mine was filled up with 3.5 hrs there and back from the east side.:asian: *


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## theletch1 (Nov 28, 2003)

Tess, I have always found those times when I am feeling "blahish" to be the times when I am able to best analyze my feelings and my life in general without having a moment of "oh, well, that doesn't really matter" get in the way.  The blahs can bring into stark clarity all of the little things that have been naggin' you for a while that you haven't been able to put a finger on.  The trick is to be able to stare those little things in their beady little eyes and decide just how much power you are going to give them.  It's when you turn a blind eye to them that they get together in a pack and sneak up on you.  That's not to say that everyone that has a little "something" odd about them needs to be cast aside.  It's often those little "somethings" that make the friendship/relationship work.  The "blahs" are a time to deal with all those little things one at a time and decide just how much power they are going to be allowed.  I spend a minimum of 46 hours each week alone in the cab of my truck at work.  That's plenty of time to work on these things.  It's a lonely job and one that requires that I be very comfortable with myself lest I drive myself even more nuts than I already am.  

Sorry to hear of the conflict in your friendship there, Tess.  You've still got plenty of folks that care a great deal about ya and I'll tell you the same thing I tell my kids in this situation..... "If they were truly your friend they wouldn't have split in the first place."  Sounds trite, I know, but it's the "dad instinct" coming out.  Best of luck


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

Thanks so much Letch 
*hugs*
I sure hear you about the being alone part.. I have never had problems with entertaining myself.. not quite the same as being alone in a truck cab all those long hours.. but during the day Seig sleeps, he gets up at 5.. we eat dinner.. then on weekdays.. off to class, come home he changes and leaves for work for the midnight shift.. so yeah I'm alone 90 plus percent of the time.  The 'Blahs' I'm glad to say never go further than just that.. I have tempered my emotions through the years to not allow anything deeper than blahs to touch me.. 

I'm not a great communicator outside of the keyboard.. so realize alot of my issues with keeping in touch with people is my own fault.. I despise talking on the phone.. (my car accident few years back caused mega nerve damage in my thoracic (ribcage etc region) so holding a phone.. my hand not only goes numb.. but the arteries under my arm get impinged and that causes lots of problems .. plus had reconstructive jaw surgery and well yapping alot.. hurts~!
 Typing sure alleviates that problem  Plus with my rather quiet lifestyle.. There's not a whole hellova lot to talk about to others~!
Now people who commonalities with me.. Same likes such as MA's Art, Photography, same type of book-likes, sculpting, sailing, Art of all kinds,  now then maybe I can carry on a half-way decent conversation.. 
all in all.. I am not one to get together with the 'girls' *even if I knew any my own age* to go shopping.. *much rather find it on the net and buy it without facing  madhouse 'Mauls'  I'm not into 'women's gatherings' or egad, Bridge, or tupperware parties.. *snickers*  I don't belong with the college crowd.. and not ready for shuffleboard.. I guess I'm kinda lost at this ridiculous young age. 
:rofl: 

Sorry for the ramblage..  
Tess


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## RCastillo (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *Thanks so much Letch
> *hugs*
> I sure hear you about the being alone part.. I have never had problems with entertaining myself.. not quite the same as being alone in a truck cab all those long hours.. but during the day Seig sleeps, he gets up at 5.. we eat dinner.. then on weekdays.. off to class, come home he changes and leaves for work for the midnight shift.. so yeah I'm alone 90 plus percent of the time.  The 'Blahs' I'm glad to say never go further than just that.. I have tempered my emotions through the years to not allow anything deeper than blahs to touch me..
> ...



We're here for you, Tess!:asian:


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## theletch1 (Nov 28, 2003)

> We're here for you, Tess!


 We're supposed to be making her feel BETTER.:rofl:   Just kiddin' with ya.  I have found that this forum (the only one I frequent) can be a real santuary when I'm really down.  There is no physical contact, the conversation is in lag time vice real time so you can think about what you want to say instead of simply react and a problem/concern is generally met with support instead of mean spirited snipes.  Granted, there are limits to what should/can be discussed here but generally, yeah, what Ricardo said holds true.... we're here for ya, regardless of who you are.


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *We're here for you, Tess!:asian: *



Thanks Ricky 
*hugs*


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *We're supposed to be making her feel BETTER.:rofl:   Just kiddin' with ya.  I have found that this forum (the only one I frequent) can be a real santuary when I'm really down.  There is no physical contact, the conversation is in lag time vice real time so you can think about what you want to say instead of simply react and a problem/concern is generally met with support instead of mean spirited snipes.  Granted, there are limits to what should/can be discussed here but generally, yeah, what Ricardo said holds true.... we're here for ya, regardless of who you are. *



*smiling* and I do feel better.. 
I used to chat alot in a group that I've known for bout 6-7 yrs.. it used to be fun but anymore all they seem to do is gossip, and tear each other apart.. that holds absolutely no interest to me.. We've held get- togethers and met some of the other chatters, which was kinda nice.. but all in all I tend to stay behind the scenes cuz there's too much latitude out 'there' when it comes to people communicating and the net sure has a way of allowing some to just say what they want without  thought that the recipient is alive on the other side of the monitor and has feelings.. 
*where that diatribe came from I dunno *G*
Hugs Letch.. you're a good man~!


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *We're here for you, Tess!:asian: *



I believe that we are all our own support group.


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *I believe that we are all our own support group. *



Yes that we are Jason


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *Yes that we are Jason  *



Glad to be here with 'ya.


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Glad to be here with 'ya.   *



awwww *getting the warm fuzzy feeling *G*


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *I am not one to get together with the 'girls' *even if I knew any my own age* to go shopping.. *much rather find it on the net and buy it without facing  madhouse 'Mauls'  I'm not into 'women's gatherings' or egad, Bridge, or tupperware parties.. *snickers*  I don't belong with the college crowd.. and not ready for shuffleboard.. I guess I'm kinda lost at this ridiculous young age.
> :rofl:
> 
> ...




Well, if you wanna go mall rat, tess, i've got a cell phone you can ring and tell me to get my skinny butt over there and pick you up. i think it'd be fun! and i promise to drive safely! 


i'm sure my college experience would be way different without you, or anyone at MMA! *big squeezy Kenpo hugs, keeps head tucked in incase of Striking Serpent's Head...*


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

aww thanks Abbey  *refrains from 'thrusting prongs' on ya *snortles*

Malls and I are a bad combination~!!  Unless I get to use my kenpo on the hoards~!! Puhleeeeeease~!!!! heheee now that would be most amusing methinks...mayhaps I would get into much mischief.. but it would be most fun.. yesh~!


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *aww thanks Abbey  *refrains from 'thrusting prongs' on ya *snortles*
> 
> Malls and I are a bad combination~!!  Unless I get to use my kenpo on the hoards~!! Puhleeeeeease~!!!! heheee now that would be most amusing methinks...mayhaps I would get into much mischief.. but it would be most fun.. yesh~! *




Save the prong thrusting for when chad is a bad boy...or the ookie...whichever...


hmms, mad kenpo skillz + mall filled with rushing rednecks = maybe getting kicked out, but mega fun! yay!~


i'll be back in state on monday. I is not driving sunday night. And I heard WV is gettin snow!!! Just rain here in MD/DE


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

bah.. I don't wanna wait til Chad's a bad boy.. course he always is.. soooooooo... *angelic look*    Snow.. oh don't you dare utter that 4 letter word in my presence... Ack.......
No no no.. I 'fuse S*#@*~!!!  *blinks*


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *aww thanks Abbey  *refrains from 'thrusting prongs' on ya *snortles*
> 
> Malls and I are a bad combination~!!  Unless I get to use my kenpo on the hoards~!! Puhleeeeeease~!!!! heheee now that would be most amusing methinks...mayhaps I would get into much mischief.. but it would be most fun.. yesh~! *



It was a few days before Christmas and I was out shopping and returning a duplicate gift. Well there before me my eyes could not believe, a crowd just talking. Nothing more nothing less. The excuseme. The please move. The casual push or nudge only received me the Glare of death. I was trapped in between all these little women. (* Note when you are 6'3" most women are shorten then me  *), well I was caught and was frustrated, and I had been polite and all.

What could a young male do now?

I picked up the young lady in front of me by the elbows and moved her to the side. This cleared a path for me. All of a sudden I was a leper and no one wanted to hold up my progress of trying to leave. 

Just before I made my escape out the door, a long came the saviors. The local security guards came up yelled Halt. (* And I thought or what you will yell halt again?  *) I stopped. They then proceded to tell me that I had to leave. This took about 5 minutes  . They finally were down with their lecture, and I headed in the direction I had been heading. They yelled Halt again. You must leave. (* Picture this I am about 75' from the door and I am headed directly to it. No store entrances in between me and the exit.*) I replied that I was trying to. Then I as lectured too again. I asked if they would accept escorting me to my car. They agreed  . I then walked out the door with a guard in tow, and walked all the way down the isle to my car. The other guards were watching from the door way. As I got into my car, the guard asked me if this was my car. I replied I had teh keys and the title and insurance for it. He said, ut-oh! You are not the guy we followed from the tapes.   He ran back to his friends. I guess they were not after me for my incident.

I absolutely hate the holiday crowds. People yelling screaming and fighting and expecting me to be nice back to them. 

So, I shop on line or in foreign countries  

This was years ago, back when I was a hot head and all. You know like when I still had teens in my age. 

:asian:


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *bah.. I don't wanna wait til Chad's a bad boy.. course he always is.. soooooooo... *angelic look*    Snow.. oh don't you dare utter that 4 letter word in my presence... Ack.......
> No no no.. I 'fuse S*#@*~!!!  *blinks* *




hims is always bad. he was in my dream last night...tis disturbing cuz he's NICE to me then...

i sorry for mentioning the 4 letter word of doom. *begs forgiveness*


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Rich Parsons _
> *It was a few days before Christmas and I was out shopping and returning a duplicate gift. Well there before me my eyes could not believe, a crowd just talking. Nothing more nothing less. The excuseme. The please move. The casual push or nudge only received me the Glare of death. I was trapped in between all these little women. (* Note when you are 6'3" most women are shorten then me  *), well I was caught and was frustrated, and I had been polite and all.
> 
> What could a young male do now?
> ...




Wow, dats gotta suck. Inventive way of getting the lady outta yer way, tho 

...and for the "or will you say halt again" bit, have you been watching a bit too much robin williams 

i really REALLY despise shopping, but LOVE mallratting!


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

heheee that's a great story Rich~!!!  And a great way to get outta the mall alive~!   I truly despise shopping unless there's less than 10 cars in the parking lot ( the entire mall lot that is ~!!)  and then I only frequent 2 stores.. Books and Software.. that's it.. though once when Seig and I were getting new tires put on at Sears. .we had not much choice but to amble about.. course being Sears.. He was quite enthralled with the TOOL section.. so I towed alongside.. poking and prodding strange looking objects ..trying pipe clamps on for bracelets and giggled at the itsy bitsy ones that fit as rings.. donning welders helmets and wielding lethal looking pipe wrenches.. and saying something quite out loud about .. "ahhh smell the Testosterone in the air"      Finally made my way to the exit ... Seig, spittle at his lips at the indignity that I was making him leave... Having another 30 minutes to kill... I sniffed something pleasant to my senses.. and attempted to enter Bath and Beyond.. we were immediately accosted at the doorway.. my wrist physically snatched by a woman *whom I hoped worked there* some vile lotion squirted onto me.. with babbleage from her lips about the newest scent .. some concoction I think is used in Monkey shampoo~!!   Of course Seig retorted .. ahhh Smell the Estrogen in the Air.. " ~! Much louder than I ever whispered about the testosterone ~!! heheee.. needless to say.. I turned tail and got outta there without spending a penny 
:rofl:


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *heheee that's a great story Rich~!!!  And a great way to get outta the mall alive~!   I truly despise shopping unless there's less than 10 cars in the parking lot ( the entire mall lot that is ~!!)  and then I only frequent 2 stores.. Books and Software.. that's it.. though once when Seig and I were getting new tires put on at Sears. .we had not much choice but to amble about.. course being Sears.. He was quite enthralled with the TOOL section.. so I towed alongside.. poking and prodding strange looking objects ..trying pipe clamps on for bracelets and giggled at the itsy bitsy ones that fit as rings.. donning welders helmets and wielding lethal looking pipe wrenches.. and saying something quite out loud about .. "ahhh smell the Testosterone in the air"      Finally made my way to the exit ... Seig, spittle at his lips at the indignity that I was making him leave... Having another 30 minutes to kill... I sniffed something pleasant to my senses.. and attempted to enter Bath and Beyond.. we were immediately accosted at the doorway.. my wrist physically snatched by a woman *whom I hoped worked there* some vile lotion squirted onto me.. with babbleage from her lips about the newest scent .. some concoction I think is used in Monkey shampoo~!!   Of course Seig retorted .. ahhh Smell the Estrogen in the Air.. " ~! Much louder than I ever whispered about the testosterone ~!! heheee.. needless to say.. I turned tail and got outta there without spending a penny
> :rofl: *




Sounds like me when dad drags me somewhere....mainly home depot. but of course, i'm the jerk who grabs a bunch of things from one place in the store and relocated them 


....see the comment "Bath and Body Works, for when the guy can't afford a diamond" somewhere below....i figured, might as well add Godiva to that list...


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *hims is always bad. he was in my dream last night...tis disturbing cuz he's NICE to me then...
> 
> i sorry for mentioning the 4 letter word of doom. *begs forgiveness* *



He's just a goober

well ok.. but I'm gonna expect extreme grovelage Monday..


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Sounds like me when dad drags me somewhere....mainly home depot. but of course, i'm the jerk who grabs a bunch of things from one place in the store and relocated them
> 
> 
> ....see the comment "Bath and Body Works, for when the guy can't afford a diamond" somewhere below....i figured, might as well add Godiva to that list... *



I have a 3 carat diamond set in Platinum.. and where Can I wear it???  Guess Bath and Body works prolly is better for a Martial Artist eh *G*


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *He's just a goober
> 
> well ok.. but I'm gonna expect extreme grovelage Monday..  *




how bout just i'll take beatings like the underbelt i am...


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## KenpoTess (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *how bout just i'll take beatings like the underbelt i am... *



ok.. that works.. I haven't had anybody to beat on in a week.. though I did see the goober the other night.. he needs alot of 'lopper pinches' to make up for it.


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

hehehe


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *Wow, dats gotta suck. Inventive way of getting the lady outta yer way, tho
> 
> ...and for the "or will you say halt again" bit, have you been watching a bit too much robin williams
> ...



I do not mean to take away from anyone's job as a security guard, as I have done it. Yet many times I felt after all the things they told me I could not do, this is all I was allowed to do was yell Halt again. And I ahve been saying it for years. Maybe I and some of my wrk friends have also picked it up from Robin Williams. Not sure.

She was not hurt, other than in the pride of having her legs leave the ground.

No by Mall ratting if you mean hanging out and playing hackey sack to some tunes that would make everyone look at you funny, then I am in. Well At least I used to be. I just cannot get myself to wear those pants around my knees and all that metal in my face. Nothing against it, just seen it used against people in a fight and it not for me. And the pants around the knees makes it hard to run or kick the hacky sack 

Not good at it tough I used to enjoy wastng many an evengin doing it. I went to last GENCON in Wisconsin, and I joined in wiht some of the guys there, adn they were suprised that this clean cut 'Older' guy not only wanted to play, he also knew the rules and, was dogging people just like them as they walked by .

:rofl:


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## TheRustyOne (Nov 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Rich Parsons _
> *
> Not good at it tough I used to enjoy wastng many an evengin doing it. I went to last GENCON in Wisconsin, and I joined in wiht some of the guys there, adn they were suprised that this clean cut 'Older' guy not only wanted to play, he also knew the rules and, was dogging people just like them as they walked by .
> 
> :rofl: *




LOL. The image formed by that thought is funny...

I can't hackey, but I can loaf around with the best of them! ..as for metal in my face...only if the fillings count! peircing is prolly too painful (i am a severe enemy of pain!) and peircings and kenpo just don't seem to mix


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by TheRustyOne _
> *LOL. The image formed by that thought is funny...
> 
> I can't hackey, but I can loaf around with the best of them! ..as for metal in my face...only if the fillings count! peircing is prolly too painful (i am a severe enemy of pain!) and peircings and kenpo just don't seem to mix  *




Yes it is a funny image.

As to Martial Arts in general does not mix well with metal in the face , unless you end up getting more in your teeth  

And Yes I am against pain. You can lock me or hit me and I am fine. Jus tdo not pinch my ear lobes, where the peircing would go. Boy does that hurt! 

Glad I could make you laugh
:asian:


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## KenpoTess (Nov 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Rich Parsons _
> *
> ...........................
> And Yes I am against pain. You can lock me or hit me and I am fine. Jus tdo not pinch my ear lobes,...............
> :asian: *



*makes a a note in my rememberance journal.. "Rich doesn't like his earlobes pinched.. and he's against pain.. *casts a glance at my title*


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## Rich Parsons (Nov 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> **makes a a note in my rememberance journal.. "Rich doesn't like his earlobes pinched.. and he's against pain.. *casts a glance at my title* *




Training Pain is just fine. Broken Knuckles from sticks, the occasional hand or foot strike to the head, are all just fine.

No Pain No Gain


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