# wise man say



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 21, 2004)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the heck alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It is always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when y! ou criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. too adult sorry... 

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to argui! ng with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our...then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


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## Feisty Mouse (Jul 21, 2004)

> 26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


 In the middle of a difficult day, this made me smile.  Thanks MJ.



> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the heck alone.


ANd that's my theme song.


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## mj-hi-yah (Jul 21, 2004)

Feisty Mouse said:
			
		

> In the middle of a difficult day, this made me smile. Thanks MJ.
> 
> 
> ANd that's my theme song.


Glad to bring a  !  I love the theme song too!


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## Insedia_Cantharis (Aug 3, 2004)

"Don't count on me, to let you know when, Don't count on me, I'll do it again, Don't count on me, cause the point you'remissing, don't count on me, If I'm saying this I'm not listening."


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## TigerWoman (Aug 3, 2004)

MJ said:
			
		

> 27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".



And its a good thing martial arts is not in the hobby category after all, this is a serious job for us martial artists, right? right? Am I hearing voices? 

I know, some of you actually get paid for teaching but the rest of us???

TW


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## Cryozombie (Aug 3, 2004)

All The Things you want from me, dont come easily, because if i give them away, they are worth even less than they are now.  --- Jesus Jones

Thats as Wise as I can be today, unless you mean Wise @$$.


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## Zepp (Aug 3, 2004)

"You can't sue yourself for writing an unauthorized autobiography."
"It's not the size that counts, it's the woman that counts the size."
"Fight for peace!  Make love not war!  Unless you love to kill."
-taken from _The Chainsaw Juggler_ by The Four Postmen


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## MA-Caver (Aug 4, 2004)

War not determine who right... war determine who's left.

Virginity is like bubble...one prick, all gone.

A man should not make a cat angry without a litterbox in the house.


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## bassplayer (Aug 19, 2004)

LOL...war determine who's left, allright!


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## Sarah (Aug 19, 2004)

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt


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## Sarah (Aug 19, 2004)

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.


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## mj-hi-yah (Aug 19, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.


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## TigerWoman (Aug 19, 2004)

On Stupidity:
Quitters Never Win, Winners Never Quit,
But Those who Never Win AND Never Quit are Idiots.

reminds me of someone....TW


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## Sarah (Aug 19, 2004)

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive. 

 http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001


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## Raewyn (Aug 19, 2004)

Women are never wrong!  Maybe mistaken but never wrong!


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## kelly keltner (Aug 19, 2004)

never argue with a fool for he may be doing the same thing.


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## Hollywood1340 (Aug 19, 2004)

Forgivness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza!


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## MA-Caver (Aug 19, 2004)

Hollywood1340 said:
			
		

> Forgivness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza!


Amen brudda! Amen!


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## mj-hi-yah (Aug 20, 2004)

kelly keltner said:
			
		

> never argue with a fool for he may be doing the same thing.


   :rofl:


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## Baytor (Aug 20, 2004)

Confucious Says:
Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag
Man who farts in church, sits in own pew
Man who live in glass house, dress in basement
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Baseball all wrong ... man with four balls no can walk

I can't believe that no one said this yet...A wise man says..."Yes Dear!"
Yup, you can tell I'm married.


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## Sarah (Aug 22, 2004)

Here is some more Confucius:

[font=Arial, Helvetica]Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants! 
*He who throw dirt is losing ground. 

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in desert. 

The end of the day is near when small men make long shadows. 

*[/font]


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