# Talking about golf



## Yari (Apr 28, 2003)

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the
fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.

The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told
the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he is so successful that he gave a
friend a new home for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line
dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully
loaded."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker
and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of
business. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How
is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar. I'm
not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing good. His
last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock
portfolio."

/Enjoy!

Yari


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## Jill666 (Apr 28, 2003)

Fantastic! I can't wait to tell my gay friends. :rofl: 


I've got a similar one-

Three women talking in their sewing circle. 

The first woman said "My son became a priest. Everywhere he goes people call him "Father".

The second woman said "Well my son is a bishop. Everywhere he goes, people call him "Your Worship".

The last woman said "My son is a blond-haired, green eyed lifeguard with a rock-hard body. Everywhere he goes, women say "Oh, my God!":ladysman:


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## Yari (Apr 29, 2003)

I'll be telling all the lady's this one  , thanks for sharing!


/Yari


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## cali_tkdbruin (Apr 29, 2003)

Good punchline Yari...


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## Rich Parsons (Apr 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *Fantastic! I can't wait to tell my gay friends. :rofl:
> 
> 
> ...




Jill,

Not to bust your chops, but I am going to anyways .

Are they your Gay Friends or your freinds that happen to also be Gay? 

Hmmm You said you had a similar one and three women, WOW! :rofl:  


I could not resist


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## Jill666 (May 1, 2003)

Picky, picky!

Actually I have friends who happen to be gay, and we do stuff in a mixed crowd or one-on-one, THEN I have my gay friends, who go out as a group to gay bars and clubs with me as the token hetero tag-along.

Two different groups with two different dynamics. Both are equally fun. 

And before you ask, yes, of course I dance with my lesbian friends, just as I dance with my male friends. 

Anything else, your Richness?


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## Nightingale (May 2, 2003)

LOL...

I have friends like that too, Jill... I think my gay friends outnumber my straight friends.


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## Seig (May 6, 2003)

Three elderly women were playing golf and talking about their sons.  The first woman said, "My son is a priest and just got a promotion, they now call him Monsignor!  He hopes to make Bishop some day."
The second woman said, "That's nothing"
The third woman said, "That really is nothing."
The second woman said, "My son is already a Bishop, he was just promoted to Cardinal, and the call him "Emminence."
The first woman said,"My that is impressive."
The third woman said, "Nothing, still nothing."
By now the first two women were getting perturbed with the third woman.  The first woman says to the third, "You are a jew!  You know nothing of greatness!"
The third woman says, "Maybe, maybe not."
The second woman by now is really angry, "You are just jealous that one of *our* children may wind up leading God's church on earth!"
The third woman says, "I tell you, that is nothing.  Let me explain something to you two, one of our boys slew 40 with the jaw-bone of an ***, another parted the Red-Sea, another one BECAME God....."


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## Seig (May 6, 2003)

Moses, Jesus, and an old bearded man were out playing golf one day. 

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway
but rolled directly toward a water trap.  Quickly, Moses raised his club,
the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound. 

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward
the same water trap.  It landed directly in the center of the pond and
kind of hovered over the water.  Jesus casually walked out on the pond and
chipped it up onto the green. 

The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out
over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces
off a truck and hits a nearby tree.  

From there it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into
the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the
aforementioned pond. 

On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the
water and onto a lily pad where it rested quietly.  Suddenly, a very large
bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth.  

Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. 

As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped
the ball which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole-in-one. 

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your dad."


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## KenpoDragon (May 6, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Three elderly women were playing golf and talking about their sons.  The first woman said, "My son is a priest and just got a promotion, they now call him Monsignor!  He hopes to make Bishop some day."
> The second woman said, "That's nothing"
> The third woman said, "That really is nothing."
> ...


 Good stuff!!!:rofl: :asian:


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## Eggman (May 6, 2003)

Four guys have been planning to play at augusta national for the last twenty years.  On the seventeenth green, a bolt of lighting strikes down and kills all four of them.  Standing in front of god the four men hear him say, "You have been destined for the last twenty years to die on the eighteenth green at augusta national. "  Well , the leader of the foursome tells God that they were only on the seventeenth green.  God apologizes and to show his benevolence offers them a chance to go back to earth as whatever they would like.  The four men huddle up and the leader tells God they want to come back as lesbians.  God shrugs his shoulders and says, OK but why lesbians? The leader responds this way we can eat all the p***y we want and tee off from the red tees.


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## Jill666 (May 6, 2003)

Welcome to Martial Talk, Eggman!

I think you'll find a home here. :cheers:


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## Eggman (May 6, 2003)

Thanks Jill, i joined a while ago at the begging of my instructor, jk Sandor, and have been on the sidelines but i thinki will take a more proactive stance from now on.


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## jfarnsworth (May 8, 2003)

You two crack me up. I don't believe that I know 1 gay person period. Unless they've never said anything. ....Anyway that would be cool to have friends to do things like that with.


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## Rich Parsons (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *Picky, picky!
> 
> Actually I have friends who happen to be gay, and we do stuff in a mixed crowd or one-on-one, THEN I have my gay friends, who go out as a group to gay bars and clubs with me as the token hetero tag-along.
> ...





Jill, 

Some of those "guys" can be real Drama Queens 
And Yes being the token Hetro is acceptable with women and it is not with men. 

No one says anything about a girl and her 'friends' dancing, yet you will most likely see to hetro men dancing together 

I just had to bust your chops, and knowing you get a good reply 

Thank You --- Your Jillness!
:asian:


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## Jill666 (May 10, 2003)

You always give good reply!  

And he's single, ladies...


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## chufeng (May 10, 2003)

These three elderly gentlemen were playing golf, as they did every Wednesday.
When they finished the game two of them go to shower and change before heading to the 19th hole for a cold one.
They meet up with the third guy at the bar...

One of the two that showered turns to the third guy and asks, "Ben, why don't you shower after a round of golf? You get just as sweaty as we do."

Ben replies, quietly, "I've got a really small penis and it embarrasses me."

The first guy pipes in, "Does it still get hard?"

Ben says, "Yes."

The first guy says, "Want to trade it for one that just looks good?"

 
chufeng


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## Randy Strausbaugh (May 17, 2003)

What's the world's worst golf foursome?
O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton.
O.J.'s a slicer
Monica's a hooker
Ted can't drive over water
and Bill keeps forgetting which hole to go to.:cheers: 

If you liked this, my name is Randy,
If not, my name is Saddam


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## tonbo (May 29, 2003)

A golfer is in the hospital, quite badly beaten up, with a golf club wrapped firmly around his neck.  The doctor asks him, "Okay, I've just got to know....how did this happen?"

"Well, doc," the man says, "I was playing golf at this course near a farmer's field.  I hit my ball off into the rough and lost it.  I wandered over to look around, and noticed this cow standing there, just chewing on the grass.  I looked everywhere for my ball, and still couldn't find it.  On a whim, I lifted up the cow's tail, and, sure enough, there was a ball stuck there.  However, the ball was a Top Flite, and I use a different brand."

The doctor nods and says, "Okay, so how did you get so beat up?"  The man says, "Well, as I'm standing there wondering where my ball went, this older lady comes up looking for her ball.  She had hit her ball into the same rough.  Trying to be helpful, I lifted up the cow's tail and asked, 'Does this look like yours?', and, well, here I am."

Peace--


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