# Last Resorts



## WhiteRose (Mar 8, 2005)

If one defend themselves well enough, they'll never be pinned down into defeat.  But obviously, when one is, that's when you start lashing out your last resorts.

  In my case, I have a step-dad...who I think did get pretty high in Tae Kwon Do as a kid, and he always likes to test we daughters.  Occasionally, he'll leap on one of us and pin us down, leaving us to choose to try and struggle out or to submit.
  Naturally, I fight, because I also want to see how much damage I can do.  Rightly angled and swung/thrust, my legs can kill.  I don't really claw.  I bite.  Then comes my ultimate last resort: head-butting.
  I don't know why, but my head doesn't feel pain.  I've crashed headfirst into the floor, hit my head into walls on many occasions, but I've gotten away with at least a slight headache.  And I use it as a final weapon towards my step-dad.  Why final?  Because eventually, so help me, he gives up.
Is there some explanation to that?

Aside from that, does anyone else ever have to bring out last resorts (if so, what? for sake of conversation), or are you all able to keep from getting pinned? (I could use some advice there ^^)


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## bushi jon (Mar 8, 2005)

My sons when I attack them in play. It gets pretty ruff around my house pressure points, arm lock,submition holds and a few throws(all in fun)The eldest boys never give up we will screw around for hours


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## gakusei (Mar 8, 2005)

Try a pinch. Very simple but very effective. By the rib cage, inside of the arm, inside of the thigh work very well. But, take what you can get.


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## Jerry (Mar 9, 2005)

I'm likely to use everything at my disposal for a given situation from the get-go. The obvious exceptions would be limits imposed for "friendly play", and the damn recuiprocity laws on weapons (though honestly, if it's not "friendly play", I've probably avoided anything that doesn't warrant weapons).

If there is something I'm willing to do under the given conditions... I'll do it long before I "am loosing". If I'm not willing to do it, I'm willing to loose not doing it (believe me, I spent a lot of time making sure I could "not cheat" just because I was loosing at something friendly). It's a big mistake (in real fights) to reserve something. At the point you are desperate, it's far less likely to help you than if it had been employed early and often.


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## mj-hi-yah (Mar 9, 2005)

WhiteRose,

Wow, first let me say I think it is amazing that your step-dad challenges you in that way.  Hopefully neither of you seriously gets hurt from this.  One thing is certain you are continually being pushed to your instinctual limit and that should hopefully give you the confidence to do whatever it takes if someone were attacking you for real.  Although, I must say those head-butts sound pretty real!  For me a last resort like you describe was only needed once in the dojo.  I was pinned by two guys at the same time and I couldn't move and it was an intense moment and without thinking I sunk my teeth into the closest arm to my mouth and broke that guy's hold which allowed me to hammer the other guy and escape.  For lots of other reasons that day he deserved it, but I did feel bad later, and wished some of my other training could have helped me to prevent that pin to begin with, but I did learn that I will do what it takes...so to me that's a good thing to know.

MJ


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## OUMoose (Mar 9, 2005)

WhiteRose said:
			
		

> Then comes my ultimate last resort: head-butting.
> I don't know why, but my head doesn't feel pain.  I've crashed headfirst into the floor, hit my head into walls on many occasions, but I've gotten away with at least a slight headache.  And I use it as a final weapon towards my step-dad.  Why final?  Because eventually, so help me, he gives up. Is there some explanation to that?


You may not feel pain, but that doesn't mean you're not doing damage.  Blunt head trauma is not a good thing because even though your head feels solid, it's basically a big squishy sponge inside floating in a pool of liquid.  Everytime you hit something with it, that big sponge rattles around in there causing damage.  If you need an example, look at most of your retired boxers.  I'm wagering most of them suffer from some level of physical brain disorder caused by blunt trauma.



			
				Whiterose said:
			
		

> Aside from that, does anyone else ever have to bring out last resorts (if so, what? for sake of conversation), or are you all able to keep from getting pinned? (I could use some advice there ^^)


I don't think there's much I wouldn't try if it came to last resorts.  Nerve pinching, Eye gouging, biting, throat punching, etc etc.  Just depends on the situation.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Mar 9, 2005)

Rosarito Beach is my last resort. I have to drive through Tiajuana to get there, and just about always have to deal with Federale's over speed traps. So, in general, I prefer to go somewhere else first, permitting.

D.


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## TonyM. (Mar 10, 2005)

Ah, the pinch. thats a good one . What OUMoose said about trauma is spot on. It will catch up to you later and you will spend the rest of your life dealing with it. This from someone who's head has hit, other heads, fists, feet, nightsticks, baston, a '66 Bonneville, a'78 Coranado, a C141 Starlifter, trees and the Earth.


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## loki09789 (Mar 10, 2005)

WhiteRose said:
			
		

> If one defend themselves well enough, they'll never be pinned down into defeat. But obviously, when one is, that's when you start lashing out your last resorts.
> 
> In my case, I have a step-dad...who I think did get pretty high in Tae Kwon Do as a kid, and he always likes to test we daughters. Occasionally, he'll leap on one of us and pin us down, leaving us to choose to try and struggle out or to submit.
> Naturally, I fight, because I also want to see how much damage I can do. Rightly angled and swung/thrust, my legs can kill. I don't really claw. I bite. Then comes my ultimate last resort: head-butting.
> ...


If your talking about just horsing around with the family like this it is one thing.  If, on the other hand, you mean in a real life self defense situation it is TOTALLY DIFFERENT in what you can and can't do within the scope of justified force.

It isn't a question of 'last resort' as much as 'appropriate.'

If you are simply being harassed, delayed or pestered, kicking/beating is excessive response and will get you a visit from the men in blue.  But, if the situation is that you fear for your safety/life by a 'reasonable' estimation, then you don't have to start soft and go hard later - you can hit has hard, often or use any applications that will effectively neutralize the threat.

If you work from that mentallity, the 'last resort' mentallity isn't a real issue because there is no 'last resort' to deal with.

If a person poses a reasonable, but not deadly threat, you are justified to use a certain level of force.  As you are scuffling and trying to get away, if the level of force escalates (grabbed by the neck, weapons appear...) you can crank up your response to the appropriate level that will neutralize that threat.

I don't wait until the last resort for anything.  If I have reasonable perception of a threat, if I have no avenue of escape AND the Bad guys intent is reasonably clear I simply do what I have to do to get out of there.  If the situation gets more deadly, I can change to match that level of threat...


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## WhiteRose (Mar 10, 2005)

I know for a fact that if I were ever truly attacked, things would run completely different.  God help me 9o9
^^ I'll have to keep in mind that pinching thing, though, for future play-fights.

As for the head damage ^^ Okays.  Even though I don't feel anything now, I'll try to keep it safe.  Just thinking abut some of those past boxers/wrestlers helped me realize the potential damage.  Thanks for that.


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## Knifehand (Mar 10, 2005)

In a fight, like all out fight to the death...It would depend on if my life was in jeporady(SP!!), i mean serious danger! If i were pinned, i might go with a head butt, however, if i were still standing and they were trying to kill me, Phakeso Sang Dan Soo Do Kong Kyuck (side hand strike) to the Neck or temple. It can be a death blow if done properly, but that would be a last last resort. 

My first resort is words... I always give them a chance to walk away...But they never listen...That was also before i took up Tang Soo Do, i haven't gotten into a fight since i joined TSD, so for that i can be happy.


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 13, 2005)

Let me say two things.

First, I do NOT advocate "jumping" someone as a test of their skill, even in play. When you are jumped, you enter the "self defense" mindset, and it is very easy for someone to get hurt. A friend of mine tried that once or twice. He learned the hard way you really should not.

Second, your step-dad does this to you? Aside from bordering on assault, I've read too many cases of sexual assault in these circumstances to be comfortable with it. It's not hard for me to believe he has motives other than testing you.


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## ginshun (Mar 14, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Let me say two things.
> 
> First, I do NOT advocate "jumping" someone as a test of their skill, even in play. When you are jumped, you enter the "self defense" mindset, and it is very easy for someone to get hurt. A friend of mine tried that once or twice. He learned the hard way you really should not.
> 
> Second, your step-dad does this to you? Aside from bordering on assault, I've read too many cases of sexual assault in these circumstances to be comfortable with it. It's not hard for me to believe he has motives other than testing you.


  Holy accusation Batman!!

 I mean come on, you are talking to a 19 y/o woman here, I think she is in a little better position to judge motives than you.  Plus you know nothing of the situation, he may have been her stepdad since she was born.

 Wow.


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 14, 2005)

I'm not accusing him of anything. What I am saying is that a step-dad should NOT be doing that to a step-daughter, even if only to test her. It just doesn't look right. Your father should be someone you feel comfortable around, not the Kato character from Pink Panther who was waiting in the closet to attack.


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## mj-hi-yah (Mar 15, 2005)

I will say, this is an unusual family activity, but it does not seem fair to judge this step-dads intentions from here. Instead we can ask this: White Rose does this behavior that is initiated by your step-dad make you or your sister (if you've discussed it with her) feel uncomfortable in any way? Has anyone ever gotten seriously hurt during these "mock attacks"? I agree with OUMouse about the head butts and possible long term damage, and I'm glad you aware of that now. 



			
				loki09789 said:
			
		

> I don't wait until the last resort for anything. If I have reasonable perception of a threat, if I have no avenue of escape AND the Bad guys intent is reasonably clear I simply do what I have to do to get out of there. If the situation gets more deadly, I can change to match that level of threat...


 Good advice Paul!


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## ginshun (Mar 15, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> I'm not accusing him of anything. What I am saying is that a step-dad should NOT be doing that to a step-daughter, even if only to test her. It just doesn't look right. Your father should be someone you feel comfortable around, not the Kato character from Pink Panther who was waiting in the closet to attack.


 Sorry, but exactly who are you to decide what is and isn't appropriate to a family other than your own? I am sure that there are plenty of people out there who think that teaching 12 y/o's matial arts in inappropriate, but that is most likely becasue they know nothing about it. Kind of the same way that none of us know anything about this family. I would say that 19 is plenty old to be able to decide for yourself what you feel comfortable with, and it seems pretty obvious that White Rose isn't offended or made to feel uncomfortable by these mock attacks or tests or whatever you want to call them.

 I really wonder if you would have brought up sexual assault if she had just said dad and not step dad, pretty doubtful. Seems like a pretty big jump in the context of the rest of the thread, and one that shouldn't be made.

  but I am off topic, and I am sorry.


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 15, 2005)

WhiteRose said:
			
		

> If one defend themselves well enough, they'll never be pinned down into defeat.  But obviously, when one is, that's when you start lashing out your last resorts.
> 
> In my case, I have a step-dad...who I think did get pretty high in Tae Kwon Do as a kid, and he always likes to test we daughters.  Occasionally, he'll leap on one of us and pin us down, leaving us to choose to try and struggle out or to submit.
> Naturally, I fight, because I also want to see how much damage I can do.  Rightly angled and swung/thrust, my legs can kill.  I don't really claw.  I bite.  Then comes my ultimate last resort: head-butting.
> ...


Avoid Headbutting!!! Sure it cause you no pain, but the blood in your eyes will suck when you need to gather visual information to further survive the encounter.
Sean


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 15, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Let me say two things.
> 
> First, I do NOT advocate "jumping" someone as a test of their skill, even in play. When you are jumped, you enter the "self defense" mindset, and it is very easy for someone to get hurt. A friend of mine tried that once or twice. He learned the hard way you really should not.
> 
> Second, your step-dad does this to you? Aside from bordering on assault, I've read too many cases of sexual assault in these circumstances to be comfortable with it. It's not hard for me to believe he has motives other than testing you.


I think you just read way too much into this. It wouldn't be hard for anyone to believe anything once their mind starts racing. Why did you choose a profession that puts you in charge of lots of children? My mind is racing.
Sean


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 15, 2005)

Sean,
What profession do you think I do that puts me in contact with lots of children?

Anyway,

Instead of saying "Why don't you try this in this situation", did it not occur to anyone that perhaps, just perhaps, it is not appropriate for this man to be mock assaulting his step-daughter like this? I'm not accusing the guy of actually being improper with his stepdaughter. I am saying that a father or stepfather should act honorably around his children. In other words, act like a father. That does not include "jumping them" to see how they react. She said it herself. She suffers injuries during these tests. If I mock assaulted a son or daughter of mine to test how they react, and injured them in the process, I would feel horrible. In addition to what my wife would say to me! That is not my job. My job is to teach, guide, and support them as my children, not cause them injury.


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Sean,
> What profession do you think I do that puts me in contact with lots of children?
> 
> Anyway,
> ...


If this is where they find common ground with eachother who are you to tell him how a father should behave? Are you a step parent, or are you just pontificating?
Sean


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## CMack11 (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Sean,
> I am saying that a father or stepfather should act honorably around his children. In other words, act like a father. That does not include "jumping them" to see how they react. She said it herself. She suffers injuries during these tests. If I mock assaulted a son or daughter of mine to test how they react, and injured them in the process, I would feel horrible. In addition to what my wife would say to me! That is not my job. My job is to teach, guide, and support them as my children, not cause them injury.


Let me play a little Devil's Advocate here:

So how would you feel if that mock assault ended up saving this girl's life in a REAL assault case, because she was prepared for it?

Which is better, the injury sustained while training someone to defend themselves, or the injury sustained in an assault?

Also, I would think that different people relate to their families differently.  The martial arts family might relate in a martial way.  People get injured training all the time.  If you are taught by your parent and they injure you, is that wrong? 

I'm not saying that it's right or it's wrong what this girl's stepfather is doing because I can't.  I don't know the whole story.  But MichiganTKD--just because you have a certain set of family values doesn't mean that everybody has to have the same set you do, or that your values are better or worse than another family.


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 16, 2005)

In traditional Islamic families, it is not uncommon for male members to murder a female member who they believe has dishonored herself and the family. But hey, that's their custom. Who am I to say otherwise?


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## CMack11 (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> In traditional Islamic families, it is not uncommon for male members to murder a female member who they believe has dishonored herself and the family. But hey, that's their custom. Who am I to say otherwise?


Isn't that a rather extreme example?

Way to avoid the question.


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> In traditional Islamic families, it is not uncommon for male members to murder a female member who they believe has dishonored herself and the family. But hey, that's their custom. Who am I to say otherwise?


Yeah, who are you to say? Right, you havent' studied the custom so you don't know where it comes from. In western society the offending girls death is left up to drug overdose or a random john. I suppose we are being more humane, but what does that have to do with this thread?
Sean


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 16, 2005)

Sean,

You might want to put some more thought into your responses so they make more sense. I don't care if you are a "Moderator". There is no excuse for being unintelligible.


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 16, 2005)

I am sooooooo soooory! please tell me what you didn't understand and I will try to re-state it for you in terms you may understand. Did I mis-spell something?


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 16, 2005)

Sean,

If you are going to represent Martial Talk as a Moderator or other staff member, my advice to you is to conduct yourself at least semi-professionally. Otherwise, you come off looking like an immature ***. If you cannot do this, or choose not to, then give the position to someone who can. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are not cut out for something.
And if you continue to respond the way you have been, I will go over your head until the problem is solved. I refuse to have someone with your attitude overseeing my contributions.


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## ginshun (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> In traditional Islamic families, it is not uncommon for male members to murder a female member who they believe has dishonored herself and the family. But hey, that's their custom. Who am I to say otherwise?


 Last time I checked, murder was illegal, and tackling a freind (or family member) in play or to test them wasn't. Nice try though.


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 16, 2005)

Not illegal, no.

However, there is a difference between one friend testing another friend's abilities, risky though that may be. Two friends, or even classmates, are pretty equal in standing. My friend is the same level as me. 
A step-father tackling his daughter and testing her abilities, though perhaps not illegal, is unseemly because it is his daughter. You do not subject your children to that, especially a female child if you are a father. It just doesn't look right. If she had to go to the hospital and explain what happened, you think the hospital staff wouldn't be a little suspicious?


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## MJS (Mar 16, 2005)

Guys, lets try to avoid the personal shots and return to the topic.

If someone has a problem with a post or a member here, use the RTM, state your concerns and it'll be addressed.

Thanks,

Mike


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## ginshun (Mar 16, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Not illegal, no.
> 
> However, there is a difference between one friend testing another friend's abilities, risky though that may be. Two friends, or even classmates, are pretty equal in standing. My friend is the same level as me.
> A step-father tackling his daughter and testing her abilities, though perhaps not illegal, is unseemly because it is his daughter. You do not subject your children to that, especially a female child if you are a father. It just doesn't look right. If she had to go to the hospital and explain what happened, you think the hospital staff wouldn't be a little suspicious?


  Ya, your right.  A daughter getting hurt while roughhousing with her dad just sceams sexual abuse.  

  Man I hope you are not working in the emergancy room if I ever have to take my daughter there.


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## CMack11 (Mar 16, 2005)

Actually, as sad as it sounds, that would be a huge red flag for any emergency room if if a girl came in who was injured by her stepfather.


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## MichiganTKD (Mar 16, 2005)

Trust me, I work in a hospital. We have to undergo training about these situations. You may think it was innocent fun and games or training. We have to assume otherwise.


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## KenpoTess (Mar 17, 2005)

Comment..

When a Mod posts in a topic.. without the Mod Signature.. they are posting as members, Not Moderators.

Emotions run high on some topics,  I've seen Catholic Priests in a pub getting into it with lay people on heated Topics.. whilst downing a pint.. Did anyone go up to these priests and demand they 'Act the way we deem them to?'   Hell no... They weren't breaking any laws.. they are Human.. They were voicing their thoughts, concerns and be they not in agreement with their compatriots.. it didn't matter.. they were expressing their 'Freedom of Speech'..


So Lay off the attacks .. if a Mod is acting unprofessionally when whilst doing Mod Duties.. then bring it to our attention.  If he/she is acting as a member.  Then leave their status of mod out of the topic.  

~Tess


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## ginshun (Mar 17, 2005)

> Actually, as sad as it sounds, that would be a huge red flag for any emergency room if if a girl came in who was injured by her stepfather.


 Red flag or not, I think a 19 year old is plenty capable of deciding for herself whether or not the actions are innapropriate.  What exactly are you saying whould come from this "red flag"



			
				MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> Trust me, I work in a hospital. We have to undergo training about these situations. You may think it was innocent fun and games or training. We have to assume otherwise.


 Based on a girl laying in an emergancy room with a busted arm or neck maybe you can assume otherwise, but not based on what has been said here.  

 Again, maybe if she was 12 the situation would be different, but she is 19 for gods sake.


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 17, 2005)

MichiganTKD said:
			
		

> In traditional Islamic families, it is not uncommon for male members to murder a female member who they believe has dishonored herself and the family. But hey, that's their custom. Who am I to say otherwise?


I was obviously unclear so in the spirit of conversation I will re-try. In the old days disobidient children meant death for a family or that member. As you have read slaterns and thieves were stoned to death by the fellow villiagers.  The most loving thing a father could do was to be the one to end her life instead of just handing her over to the local mob. The dead girl also served as an example to other siblings. This doesn't look so loving to westerners but lets look at western society for one sec. The key word for western society would be neglect. Fathers and mothers abandon their children all the time to some degree or another. Eventualy these /children women die, or have children and continue the cycle of neglect that they came from. Lets not forget the children terminated before birth. But an ounce of Logic is worth a ton of tradition ehh MTKD?
Sean


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## KenpoTess (Mar 17, 2005)

Topic.. topic


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 17, 2005)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> Topic.. topic


Right, of course... anyways I'm sure your seeing constant trauma in the emergency room can make you accutely aware of what I'm talking about, but when and two consenting adults rough-house, I can see where a person with rigid standards of training may feel that unorthodox training and a non-traditional parental relationship could raise your eyebrows. 
Sean


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## Jerry (Mar 17, 2005)

> A step-father tackling his daughter and testing her abilities, though perhaps not illegal, is unseemly because it is his daughter. You do not subject your children to that, especially a female child if you are a father. It just doesn't look right. If she had to go to the hospital and explain what happened, you think the hospital staff wouldn't be a little suspicious?


 Interesting. So yur arguement goes something like "While possibly very practical and useful, play-fighting with your daughter is considered unseemly in some cultures... who are you to say they are wrong".

One supposes that, in a discussion of what is actually good or bad behavior, wheather it's considered such by a culture is not very interesting.


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## WhiteRose (Mar 17, 2005)

*quick scan-over* Aich!
No worries.  There is nothing inappropiate.  Just a tackle.  However, my mom is a tinse against physical play all-together.  I think she's had my step-dad stop, since I haven't fought him for months.  She worries that one day we'll get hurt.  My sisters and I even have little wrestles and she gets flustered.

So no need to worry about me ^_^


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## mj-hi-yah (Mar 17, 2005)

WhiteRose said:
			
		

> *quick scan-over* Aich!
> No worries. There is nothing inappropiate. Just a tackle. However, my mom is a tinse against physical play all-together. I think she's had my step-dad stop, since I haven't fought him for months. She worries that one day we'll get hurt. My sisters and I even have little wrestles and she gets flustered.
> 
> So no need to worry about me ^_^


Good, I'm glad to hear it's all in good fun.  As far as your mom goes that's her job - to worry LOL!  Thanks for letting us know though, sometimes people here just want to protect and mean no harm.  I used to wrestle with my brother and sisters all the time when I was younger.  I swear that is why I can do what I do in Kenpo today!  They gave me my early training.  It took away some of the fear I think.  Eventhough you haven't wrestled like this in awhile what do you think it's taught you about defending yourself?


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## WhiteRose (Mar 17, 2005)

Things I've learned about my defense...
In sister fights (you know, locking hands and trying to push/wrestle the other one further than the other can), I know I have a lot of back-up strength.  Just when one would think I'm cornered and done, I shove back hard with my shoulders and powered by my legs. (I think that's why at some point in life I thought I could make a good sumo-wrestler ^^ lol!)
My younger sis once called me an ox ^^ which funnily enough is my chinese zodiac sign, but anyway
I'm able to bide, able to take a hit or last through a tackle, and then be able to retaliate with more strength. ^^ Very helpful at times.

Oh ^^ and your little story of your last resort in the dojo was quite amusing, lol.  I'm sure I would've unleashed the headbutting in that situation.


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## mj-hi-yah (Mar 18, 2005)

WhiteRose said:
			
		

> Things I've learned about my defense...
> In sister fights (you know, locking hands and trying to push/wrestle the other one further than the other can), I know I have a lot of back-up strength. Just when one would think I'm cornered and done, I shove back hard with my shoulders and powered by my legs. (I think that's why at some point in life I thought I could make a good sumo-wrestler ^^ lol!)
> My younger sis once called me an ox ^^ which funnily enough is my chinese zodiac sign, but anyway
> I'm able to bide, able to take a hit or last through a tackle, and then be able to retaliate with more strength. ^^ Very helpful at times.


 Ha ha ha ha ha a sumo-wrestler maybe, but a great Martial Artist for sure!  You've taken a lot from these "training sessions".  I know a few guys who don't know how to take a hit  ...or a hint for that matter :whip: LOL



> Oh ^^ and your little story of your last resort in the dojo was quite amusing, lol. I'm sure I would've unleashed the headbutting in that situation.


OK *giggle* let's each promise to keep working on finding a better solution first...sound good?

MJ :asian:


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## John Bishop (Mar 18, 2005)

For any self defense training to be useful, some reality has to be injected into the training.  
Sometime during the training, women students have to work their techniques on men.  They have to be realistically challenged by the physical strength and size advantage men have.  No, they don't have to be beat to a pulp.  But they do have to learn how to make their skills work against a man.  

Now the question you have to ask is:  Would you rather have your 19 year old daughter rolling on the floor with her father, brother, stepfather, or some strange man in karate class?


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## shesulsa (Mar 9, 2006)

Thought I'd revive this thread and see what all you folks think about last resorts?


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## SAVAGE (Mar 9, 2006)

My last resort...shirley!


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## Martial Tucker (Mar 9, 2006)

ginshun said:
			
		

> Holy accusation Batman!!
> 
> I mean come on, you are talking to a 19 y/o woman here, I think she is in a little better position to judge motives than you.  Plus you know nothing of the situation, he may have been her stepdad since she was born.
> 
> Wow.


Well, I must admit, the "impropriety" thought crossed my mind, too. However,
since the girl is old enough to know right from wrong and judge comfortable vs. uncomfortable, I just kind of accepted it as an odd family activity.
She seems pretty OK with what happens in her posts. One question:
Does stepdad do this when the mom is around, too? Or just when you are alone? I don't think we know enough about the situation to get too judgemental, but I agree that it's pretty unusual, and could easily be mis-construed as something potentially more sinister.

As for the head-butting, go easy on it. If you must do it, make sure to use the top of your forehead where it just starts to curve towards the top of your head. That's the thickest part of your skull, and gives your brain the most protection. 

The pinches work great if someone's on top of you. Grab a SMALL fold of skin with each hand in the rib area or the triceps, and squeeze hard as you push the person away from you. You don't want a big fold of skin. If you do it right, the person will become very "cooperative" for a moment, giving you a chance to escape.


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