# Paul Janulis hospitalized...



## James Patrick

Master of Defense Paul Janulis was hospitalized today with lacerations on his arms and face, and blunt force trauma all over his body. He suffered a concussion and 3 broken ribs as well. He has been in a coma since 3pm today, so we haven't gotten the full story.

A note of some kind was left on the scene (his apartment); it said something about how his Modern Arnis is not the true Modern Arnis or something like that. It looks as if the injuries were inflicted by sticks, knives, and martial art foot pads.

The police are suspicious that it was actually a gang of pre-adolecent Tang Soo Do stylists from a local family Karate school hired by one of the larger Modern Arnis oganizations to teach Master Paul a lesson, as he has been an ongoing nuisance to the Filipino Martial Arts community.

This is all the info I have at this time. Please pray that he may survive;

More to follow as I gather more information.

James


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## rutherford

.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

I don't expect he'll make it. RIP Mr. Janulis.


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## bignick

You win some...you lose some...


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## rutherford

Paul's last post was at 4:33 pm eastern.  

If this is an April Fool's joke, it's in poor taste.


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## Brian Johns

Wait a minute....is this for real ? What is this about "RIP" ?

I find this hard to believe....that something like this would happen. Keep us up to date.

Sincerely,
Brian Johns (in disbelief)


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## Brian Johns

Indeed,if this is an April Fool's joke, it is in very poor taste.


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## Ceicei

Brian Johns said:
			
		

> Wait a minute....is this for real ? What is this about "RIP" ?
> 
> I find this hard to believe....that something like this would happen. Keep us up to date.
> 
> Sincerely,
> Brian Johns (in disbelief)


 Think about what today is....


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## Paul B

James Patrick said:
			
		

> a gang of pre-adolecent Tang Soo Do stylists from a local family Karate school


OMG!! I've heard about those guys...Yeah,they like to run with those Kempo stylists from Chuan Fa schools...some very shady characters....


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## arnisador

James Patrick said:
			
		

> a gang of pre-adolecent Tang Soo Do stylists


 Clearly a joke, but definitely in questionable taste.


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## James Patrick

Because people are questioning the tastefulness of the joke, I will let the cat out of the bag right now: yes of course it was an April fools joke. 
Oh well...I thought it was funny. I mean, yes it starts out with analarming title and a little "Oh my gosh," but it does get sillier and sillier. Especially at the end? With some of the wounds being inflicted by Martial Arts Kick Pads? With the prime suspects being pre-adolescent (ages 10 - 12) Tang Soo Do practitioners? I figured everyone would get that it was an April fools joke by then.

I liked Mr. Kembudo-Kai Kempoka and Mr. Big Nicks responses. :lol: That only compounded the joke, and they seemed to have gotten it.

But it was ment to be a joke, and I really am sorry if I alarmed or upset anyone, because that was not my intent. I was just having a little April fools day fun. Taste Questionable? Yes...but so are shows like Southpark, and I still watch that and think it's funny. Oh well, no more jokes for me for a while...

Yours,
James


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## Bammx2

I read it..

I caught it...

I chuckled profusely!

it was FUNNY!


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## Bammx2

shows how much faith the others have in Mr.Janulis' skill to ACTUALLY believe he could be beat up by a pile of 10 year olds.............. 


sheesh


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## Cruentus

Bammx2 said:
			
		

> shows how much faith the others have in Mr.Janulis' skill to ACTUALLY believe he could be beat up by a pile of 10 year olds..............
> 
> 
> sheesh



:rofl: hey man! It could happened! Those kids Karate programs here in the detroit area are mean....why else do you think I am armed all the time!  :ultracool


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## RRouuselot

Tulisan said:
			
		

> :rofl: hey man! It could happened! Those kids Karate programs here in the detroit area are mean....why else do you think I am armed all the time! :ultracool


   I hear ya! Hell I saw the movie Three Ninja.you know the one with the 3 little Tae Kwon Do kids that think their Grandpappy is some sort of Ninja from Japan but in actual fact is Chinese  .that scared the *bujeezaz* out of me.


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## Tgace

PULL THE PLUG!! What? Oh it was a joke.........nevermind.


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## dubljay

Bammx2 said:
			
		

> shows how much faith the others have in Mr.Janulis' skill to ACTUALLY believe he could be beat up by a pile of 10 year olds..............
> 
> 
> sheesh


 

 Have you ever taught a kids class???   I usually went home with bruised ribs after teaching the kids class.


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## Bammx2

Hey! I was just tryin to get the guy a little slack!

I figured he has the skill to tackle a pile of 10 year olds!

11 year olds..........
hhhmmm..............

I don't teach kids.
 I ran an ice cream stand at a cub scout jamboree once.
 after the machines went down,it became known as the great cub scout inqisition of '83.
It was total chaos!
I'm still scarred.I can't go near a first aid class or a swiss army knife to this very day.
the horror...the horror


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## Bob Hubbard

I have to ask aquestion....

He was determined to be in a coma.....how could you tell?


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## Tgace

Ohhh that was good.


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## Cryozombie

Bammx2 said:
			
		

> shows how much faith the others have in Mr.Janulis' skill to ACTUALLY believe he could be beat up by a pile of 10 year olds..............
> 
> 
> sheesh


Hey... anyone who referes to themselves as "Master of Defense" prolly couldnt take a 10 year old, let alone a pack of them.  Sounds like somthing that should be addressed on Bullshido to me.


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## Cruentus

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Hey... anyone who referes to themselves as "Master of Defense" prolly couldnt take a 10 year old, let alone a pack of them.  Sounds like somthing that should be addressed on Bullshido to me.



Err...too late! :rofl: :rofl:



> He was determined to be in a coma.....how could you tell?



The room got peaceful for a few seconds...  :uhyeah:


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## Cruentus

Tgace said:
			
		

> PULL THE PLUG!! What? Oh it was a joke.........nevermind.



Seriously...pull it...my *** is killing me. :rofl:


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## OULobo

Tulisan said:
			
		

> Seriously...pull it...my *** is killing me. :rofl:


Now I know how his face got that way. J/K


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## Dan Anderson

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> I have to ask aquestion....
> 
> He was determined to be in a coma.....how could you tell?


Kaith,

He stopped talking for longer than it takes to take a breath.  That's how we knew.  What wasn't reported was his 3-day bout of the continuous runs which weakened him prior to the attack of the vicious 10-year olds.  Had he not been severely weakened, he would've defended himself successfully.  Yes, I am saying that he is powered by...whoops.  Can't say it.  This is a family public forum and I can't say ca-ca.  Oops.  Anyway, get the young man a cork and he'll be just fine.

Yours,
Dan Anderson


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## Jade Tigress

Ceicei said:
			
		

> Think about what today is....


That and the fact it's posted in the Comedy Cafe....

Too Funny! 

Hang in there Paul...and stay away from the light!


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## Bob Hubbard

Dan Anderson said:
			
		

> Kaith,
> 
> He stopped talking for longer than it takes to take a breath.  That's how we knew.  What wasn't reported was his 3-day bout of the continuous runs which weakened him prior to the attack of the vicious 10-year olds.  Had he not been severely weakened, he would've defended himself successfully.  Yes, I am saying that he is powered by...whoops.  Can't say it.  This is a family public forum and I can't say ca-ca.  Oops.  Anyway, get the young man a cork and he'll be just fine.
> 
> Yours,
> Dan Anderson


 He stopped talking?

Man, this is serious.


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## arnisador

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> He stopped talking?
> 
> Man, this is serious.


 Sounds terminal.

 Has he stopped typing too?


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## Rich Parsons

arnisador said:
			
		

> Sounds terminal.
> 
> Has he stopped typing too?



He was eating a double Whopper, and had half the sandwich in his mouth so he needed to stop talking and swallow and then breath in


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## Sarah

Wish I had a clue who you are all talking about..  :idunno:


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## Bob Hubbard

Sarah said:
			
		

> Wish I had a clue who you are all talking about..  :idunno:


  Tulisan  aka Paul Janulis


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## Ceicei

Sarah said:
			
		

> Wish I had a clue who you are all talking about..  :idunno:


 Paul Janulis, aka Tulisan, is a moderator here. The original poster was pretending to announce (for April Fool's day) that something happened to him. It was originally in the Arnis Forum before it was moved later to the Comedy Cafe.

  - Ceicei


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## Cruentus

arnisador said:
			
		

> Sounds terminal.
> 
> Has he stopped typing too?



I can type...even in a vegitative state. Just read any one of my posts.



> Wish I had a clue who you are all talking about..



You mean YOU don't know him. I here he is pretty famous.   

Update: I am recovering well. With a few more heavy doses of Enzite, I should be cured of my problem. 

Also, I have gotten used to the feeding tube, even though it is in the wrong end. I wanted to take it out, but Jeb Bush came up from Florida and petitioned for the legislature to mandate that I leave it in. So now with that hole plugged, EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth is crap.

 :uhyeah: 

 :uhyeah:


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## OULobo

Tulisan said:
			
		

> You mean YOU don't know him. I here he is pretty famous.



How about infamous?   :uhyeah:


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## Flatlander

Tulisan said:
			
		

> Also, I have gotten used to the feeding tube, even though it is in the wrong end. I wanted to take it out, but Jeb Bush came up from Florida and petitioned for the legislature to mandate that I leave it in. So now with that hole plugged, EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth is crap.
> 
> :uhyeah:
> 
> :uhyeah:


:rofl:  This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.  Man, you need your own TV show....


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## Cruentus

Flatlander said:
			
		

> :rofl:  This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.  Man, you need your own TV show....



Well...my stage name IS Faggy Mcbutterpant...

Oh...not that kind of show... :uhyeah:


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## Cruentus

Update on my condition:

I am finally out of the comotose state. Yes, yes... I know that I was able to type while in this condition; but make no mistake - despite what the religuous right had to say, that was only my reflexive response. Most of what I say does not make sense, as most of my brain has been liquified.

However, I am finally up and moving around, thanks to a hero, and noble man. He heard about my condition here on martial talk, and decided to take action.

I remember seeing only darkness while in my coma, and I had just gotton used to the feeding tube being in the wrong spot. Then...I felt the tube enlarge greatly. It was very uncomfortable; it remined me of a babies arm, or something. The discomfort caused me to open my eyes. Luckily, it wasn't a babies arm, but was just Rich Parsons, trying to revive me with his index finger.

If it wasn't for this brave and heroic soul, Rich "wiggle fingers" Parsons, I would still be in a coma today.

Everyone cheer for Parsons, the great MartialTalk Hero!

Here Here!
:cheers:


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## Rich Parsons

Flatlander said:
			
		

> :rofl:  This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.  Man, you need your own TV show....




You had to egg him on did you not?   

Besides his Friend Bill wants to do a live TV script based on his friends. I think it would be boring. They think people will watch it.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka

Rich Parsons said:
			
		

> You had to egg him on did you not?
> 
> Besides his Friend Bill wants to do a live TV script based on his friends. I think it would be boring. They think people will watch it.


Isn't this how Wayne's World started?

PS -- I'm glad it was his finger, only.

D.


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## Cruentus

Rich Parsons said:
			
		

> You had to egg him on did you not?
> 
> Besides his Friend Bill wants to do a live TV script based on his friends. I think it would be boring. They think people will watch it.



Listen here stinky fingers,

First off....it would not just be any TV script with our dopy friends...It would be called, "The Rich Parsons Project." It would be a reality show about a disgruntled GM employee by day who is also a hitman by night, and every now and then crushes someones head and hides the body in his basement.

Tell me that isn't an awesome reality show premise... :ultracool


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## Makalakumu

Tulisan said:
			
		

> Listen here stinky fingers,
> 
> First off....it would not just be any TV script with our dopy friends...It would be called, "The Rich Parsons Project." It would be a reality show about a disgruntled GM employee by day who is also a hitman by night, and every now and then crushes someones head and hides the body in his basement.
> 
> Tell me that isn't an awesome reality show premise... :ultracool



People might tune in thinking is like the Monkeys version of the Alan Parson's Project...


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