# limerick time :)



## donnaTKD (Jun 12, 2014)

there once was a man from austrailia
whose backside was just like a dahlia
tuppence a smell was all very well
but 4 pence a lick was a failure

..........................................................


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## Randy Strausbaugh (Jun 12, 2014)

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who had a goose as big as a bucket
So great were the size
Of its legs and its theighs
If it'd only stand still you could...

Sorry, I forget the rest.


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## Steve (Jun 12, 2014)

There once was an incomplete limerick....


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## Randy Strausbaugh (Jun 12, 2014)

There once was a woman named Laporte
Who took Mr. Laporte to court
She said, judge see here
He stole my brassiere
And I'm suing for non-support.


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## donald1 (Jun 12, 2014)

Not quite sure whats a limerick
But ill be sure to make it quick
As soon as I learn how 
Or to borrow one from a guy named nick
Either way I will post it now


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## donnaTKD (Jun 13, 2014)

loving the responses to this thread


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## K-man (Jun 13, 2014)

donnaTKD said:


> there once was a man from austrailia
> whose backside was just like a dahlia
> tuppence a smell was all very well
> but 4 pence a lick was a failure
> ...


My version,

There once was a girl from Australia
whose **** was tattooed with a dahlia.
The drawing was fine, the colour devine,
But the smell of the bloom was a failure.

then ...

There was a young lady from Thrace,
whose corset grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said "Nelly, there's more in your belly,
than ever went in through your face".

Many others may be not so politically correct these days.


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## Rumy73 (Jun 13, 2014)

There once was a man who visited Japan
Who liked a well stocked mamasan
Then she scratched a certain side
From which the sun he'd hide
And for ten yen more he saw her can


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## Rumy73 (Jun 13, 2014)

There once was a man from Seattle
Who found his love amongst the cattle
When she winked and moo-ed
He kindly winked and pursued
Making the bovine promise not to tattle


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## donald1 (Jun 13, 2014)

The bear walked down the hill 
Yet it never sat still
Nobody knew why not even Phil or Jill 
But then up with a leap
It hid in the mill 
Quite,  still,  and fast asleep


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## K-man (Jun 13, 2014)

A pregnant young woman from Todd
thought babies a gift from God.
But 'twas not the Almighty who lifted her nighty, 
'twas Roger the lodger, the sod.


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## Marnetmar (Jun 13, 2014)

There was a good man from Mass., 
Who had a magnificent ***.
Not pretty and pink, as you well may think,
It was grey, had long ears and ate grass.

King Reginald Von Hubble of Joice
Did once shave his balls, twas his choice.
He slipped, oh how sad,
The results were quite bad,
He now has a quite high pitched voice.

There once was a lad called Lancelot,
At whom people looked askance a lot.
For whenever he passed,
A delectable lass,
The front of his pant would advance a lot.

Old mother hubbard,
Went to the cupboard,
To get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of her own.


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## donnaTKD (Jun 14, 2014)

love these 

didn't think the members of these boards would get so creative --- nicely done 

for the record - PC or not PC lets read them and we can all make up our own minds   afterall we are all supposed to be adults


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## Dirty Dog (Jun 14, 2014)

There once was a man from Stanbul
Who complained of red streaks on his tool.
Said the Dr, a cynic, Get OUT of my clinic! 
Try lipstick remover you fool!


An art buff from London named Snow,
Accosted a fortnight ago,
Is said to have quipped, when the flasher unzipped,
Your exhibit's well hung sir, good show!


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## K-man (Jun 14, 2014)

donnaTKD said:


> love these
> 
> didn't think the members of these boards would get so creative --- nicely done
> 
> for the record - PC or not PC lets read them and we can all make up our own minds   afterall we are all supposed to be adults


I suspect homosexuality is off the menu these days ... but 

There once was a plumber from Lee 
who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said, "Stop your plumbing, there's somebody coming!" 
Said the plumber still plumbing... "It's me!"


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## K-man (Jun 14, 2014)

Then again.


A policeman from Clapham Junction
lost the use of his sexual function.
For the rest of his life, he deceived his poor wife,
with the dexterous use of his truncheon.

This thread takes me back to my university days.


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## donnaTKD (Jun 14, 2014)

taking me back a few years too 

oh and PC or not PC who cares it's about having a laugh - it's not serious so get over it cos any topic goes and the contributions to this thread so far are outstanding 

there once was a young lady from ness
who always looked like a mess
she was told oil paintings are art
but hell you look like a tart 
and now she's totally distressed


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## K-man (Jun 14, 2014)

A couple of clean ones ..

There once was a lady from Yale,
had verses tattooed on her tail,
and below her behind, for the sake of the blind,
was a duplicate version in Braille.

and ...

There was a young maid from Madras,
who had a magnificent ***.
Not rounded and pink, as you probably think.
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.


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## donnaTKD (Jun 14, 2014)

LoL k-man


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