# 12 Rules of Life



## KenpoGirl (May 8, 2003)

Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are...

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire.  Anything we have isn't really ours; we just borrow it while we're here....even our kids.

12. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.


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## jfarnsworth (May 8, 2003)

For some reason I think I have fit into a few or more of those categories.


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## karatekid1975 (May 9, 2003)

You forgot that duct tape, string and bubble gum can fix almost everything ..... hey, don't pick on me. I was raised by a red-neck LOL.


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## Randy Strausbaugh (May 18, 2003)

Don't forget needle-nose pliers and bailing wire.:wink2: 

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh


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## RCastillo (May 18, 2003)

That was a badly needed tutoring for me!


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## jfarnsworth (May 20, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *That was a badly needed tutoring for me! *



You know what they say.

If the shoe fits .... ..:rofl:


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## RCastillo (May 20, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *You know what they say.
> 
> If the shoe fits .... ..:rofl: *



I ain't Cinderella.................


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## Ender (May 20, 2003)

and remember, on yer death bed, you'll never wish you spent more time at the office.


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## Seig (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *I ain't Cinderella................. *


Thank God!  I can imagine you in a pumpkin! :barf:


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## Randy Strausbaugh (May 21, 2003)

Does that mean at midnight he would change to Frank Dux?  Just wondering. 

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh


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## RCastillo (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Thank God!  I can imagine you in a pumpkin! :barf: *



Hey, I ain't that bad. Got the bod that men fear, women ,love!


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## RCastillo (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Randy Strausbaugh _
> *Does that mean at midnight he would change to Frank Dux?  Just wondering.
> 
> Trying to avoid life's potholes,
> Randy Strausbaugh *



No, a rejuvenated Frank Trejo, "The Masta of Disasta!"


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## yilisifu (May 21, 2003)

I check the obits every day in the newspaper.  If my name isn't in there, I go on to work.


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## rachel (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Ender _
> *and remember, on yer death bed, you'll never wish you spent more time at the office. *


 I guess you never met the plant manager at the Post Office.LOL


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## jfarnsworth (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *I ain't Cinderella................. *



could have fooled me.


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## jfarnsworth (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> * Got the bod that men fear,  *



I'm not scared yet; pal. 



> women ,love!


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## jfarnsworth (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *I guess you never met the plant manager at the Post Office.LOL *



Yes I have seen her at the local post office here. AND she is SCARY!


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## RCastillo (May 21, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *could have fooled me.  *



This "Cinderella", becomes BOLO! look out IKKO!


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## Seig (May 22, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *This "Cinderella", becomes BOLO! look out IKKO! *


 A rock with a piece of string wrapped around it?  Boy are you bringing the wrong weapon top this fight.


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## RCastillo (May 22, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *A rock with a piece of string wrapped around it?  Boy are you bringing the wrong weapon top this fight. *



Wrong Bolo. But BOLO, THE CHINESE HERCULES!


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## jfarnsworth (May 22, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Wrong Bolo. But BOLO, THE CHINESE HERCULES! *



Very interesting! .... How do you plan on doing that?


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## RCastillo (May 22, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Very interesting! .... How do you plan on doing that? *



I already am!


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## Seig (May 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *I already am! *


Well then Mr. Hercules ala king.  Since I don't have stables for you to clean out, go clean my garage while I come up with 11 more labors for you.


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## RCastillo (May 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Well then Mr. Hercules ala king.  Since I don't have stables for you to clean out, go clean my garage while I come up with 11 more labors for you. *



Think I can borrow the dogs to help pull the trash wagon?


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## Randy Strausbaugh (May 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Well then Mr. Hercules ala king.  Since I don't have stables for you to clean out, go clean my garage while I come up with 11 more labors for you. *


Suggestions for more labors:
Tame Hillary Clinton (another three-headed dog)
Obtain the girdle of Janet Reno (queen of the Amazons)
Abduct Brittney Spears (something about golden apples)
Defeat Frank Trejo (a big guy who keeps getting up when thrown)  

Trying to avoid life's potholes, 
Randy Strausbaugh


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## jfarnsworth (May 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> * go clean my garage while I come up with 11 more labors for you. *



Good lord man, what do you want to do own a kennel?


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## jfarnsworth (May 23, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Think I can borrow the dogs to help pull the trash wagon? *



Are you going to be in the wagon? :rofl:


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## Seig (May 24, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Think I can borrow the dogs to help pull the trash wagon? *


As of next Saturday, it is dog, singular.  My sister is taking her dog and I am taking mine.  No, you may not borrow my puppy for such things.


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## Seig (May 24, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Are you going to be in the wagon? :rofl: *


or under it? :roflmao:


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## jfarnsworth (May 24, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *or under it? :roflmao: *



In front of the wheels.:rofl:


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## Seig (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *In front of the wheels.:rofl: *


Ricardo, is it true ?  You are really a speed bump?


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## RCastillo (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Ricardo, is it true ?  You are really a speed bump? *



Only when I'm sleeping!


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## jfarnsworth (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *Only when I'm sleeping! *



Or enticed with sushi?


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## RCastillo (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Or enticed with sushi? *



No, saki!


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## jfarnsworth (May 28, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *No, saki! *



Whichever you prefer.:rofl:


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## Seig (May 29, 2003)

Jason likes sushi....:rofl::rofl::rofl::roflmao:


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## KenpoTess (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by RCastillo _
> *No, saki! *




Seig and I attended a get together where they were warming the Saki in the fire.. egad.. that stuff was nasty.. It tasted what I thought dirty socks would be like.. hence Dirty Socki  as I coined  *G*


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## Seig (May 29, 2003)

Fermented Rice, yuck :barf:


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## jfarnsworth (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Jason likes sushi....:rofl::rofl::rofl::roflmao: *



I can be a gentleman here and let you have my portions.


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## jfarnsworth (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *Seig and I attended a get together where they were warming the Saki in the fire.. egad.. that stuff was nasty.. It tasted what I thought dirty socks would be like.. hence Dirty Socki  as I coined  *G* *



 Ummmmm..... Ms. Tess _(giving hugs)_  please keep that away from me!


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## jfarnsworth (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Fermented Rice, yuck :barf: *



Now that's just plain gross!:barf:


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## KenpoTess (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> * Ummmmm..... Ms. Tess (giving hugs)  please keep that away from me! *




Jason .. *hugs back*  I was happy to see the bottle melting in the bonfire .. what rot gut~!!!!


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## Seig (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *I can be a gentleman here and let you have my portions. *


Let's both be gentlemanly and let Mr.C have it.


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## Seig (May 29, 2003)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Now that's just plain gross!:barf: *


Sake is fermented and distilled rice, didn't you know that?


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## jfarnsworth (May 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Sake is fermented and distilled rice, didn't you know that? *



No, actually I didn't. That is because I don't eat that yuck.


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## jfarnsworth (May 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *Let's both be gentlemanly and let Mr.C have it. *



Then it shall be his.:asian:


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## jfarnsworth (May 30, 2003)

> _Originally posted by KenpoTess _
> *Jason .. *hugs back*  *



Thanks  



> I was happy to see the bottle melting in the bonfire



That's the best place for it.


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## YouAgain (Jun 3, 2003)

For some reason this thread reminded me of a quote I heard somewhere..............


Don't Follow in my footsteps............... I walk into windows.:rofl:


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## thepanjr (Mar 18, 2005)

those were pretty scary rules


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