# Son has turned into a "Flopper"



## RED (Dec 18, 2006)

My son wrestles with the local middle school. He is 12. He has wrestled since he was 5 with clubs and youth tornaments. This is all his choice, I've never had any interest in Wrestling. (He isn't being pushed into it.) During practice he does great. Wrestling bigger more aggressive kids even to the pin. But in the duels and mid school tornaments he is intimidated by the other kid becuase he doesn't know them...I think. He has good technique and plenty of knowledge for his age. He did say to me that he doen't think fast enough while on the mat. I told him he can't think but needs to react. What can I do to help him? How can he relax more before a match so he can react better? How much warming up should he do before going out onto the mat?


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## BJJMichigan (Dec 20, 2006)

One suggestion I might have for your son is to set aside a few minutes to "visualize" his success. I know when I have competed in interschool sports I was always taught to take a few minutes to just "gather yourself". Have your son sit indian style after warming up and just breath in deep and "visualize" his grappling. Prompt your son to visualize a takedown scenario, or an escape, or a pin. I have found that doing visualizing and breathing really helped calm me down a ton. At 12 years old I don't know how focused he can get, but it seemed to work for me at that age, so let me know if it works.


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## RED (Dec 20, 2006)

Thanks,
I tell him about visualising the other guy.  Good idea thanks.


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## MJS (Dec 21, 2006)

RED said:


> My son wrestles with the local middle school. He is 12. He has wrestled since he was 5 with clubs and youth tornaments. This is all his choice, I've never had any interest in Wrestling. (He isn't being pushed into it.) During practice he does great. Wrestling bigger more aggressive kids even to the pin. But in the duels and mid school tornaments he is intimidated by the other kid becuase he doesn't know them...I think. He has good technique and plenty of knowledge for his age. He did say to me that he doen't think fast enough while on the mat. I told him he can't think but needs to react. What can I do to help him? How can he relax more before a match so he can react better? How much warming up should he do before going out onto the mat?


 
What your son is going through, is something that is common in many arts.  When we work with the same group of people over and over, we get that comfortable feeling and we begin to get so used to working with the same body types, that when its time to work with someone else, we find ourselves having to make adjustments, and we start getting frustrated.  

One solution, if this was available, would be to work with people he doesn't know.  During the training session, it'll allow him to build up that confidence with others.  

The visualize technique that was mentioned is a very good idea as well.  

Mike


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