# Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon "Batleth"



## Bob Hubbard (Feb 4, 2009)

*Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon "Batleth" on Wednesday February 04, @10:06AM  							 				 						*

*	 		Posted 		by  	 	 		 			CmdrTaco 		 	 	  	 	 	on Wednesday February 04, @10:06AM* 
*from the build-a-more-awesome-criminal dept.* 
 
mnovotny writes _"Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores, armed with a Klingon "Batleth" sword inspired by the Star Trek science fiction series.  They did appear more human in the original series."_
http://slashdot.org/#


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## CoryKS (Feb 4, 2009)

Just remember:  If you outlaw Batleths, only dorky outlaws will own Batleths.


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 4, 2009)

True. 


I posted this here, because as geeky as it is, there seems to be a real point here. That being, defense against non-traditional and fantasy weapons. Look through the latest Bud-K catalog at all the fantasy wall hangers that clueless folks buy because they think they are real.  Sure, that Klingon blade would shatter in a real knife fight, won't hold an edge for crap, etc. But it's still sharp and can still hurt. Same with the Gil Hibben blades. Weird as hell, but still functional enough to hurt ya.

Seems today so many people are dropping traditional weapon work in favor of "realistic" stuff. After all, who mugs someone with a hook sword?

Well, who robs a convenience store with a Klingon sword?


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## CoryKS (Feb 4, 2009)

I think there's actually an intimidation benefit to the weird knives. That Klingon thing is menacing as hell, which is probably what it was designed for.

If you pull out a knife, the clerk might try to fight.  If you pull out a knife with three blades, and each blade has three blades plus a gnarly spiny thing sticking out of it, he might reconsider.


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## tellner (Feb 4, 2009)

The Gil Hibben knives and the fantasy blades send a clear, unambiguous message:

"Someone has a milling machine and is NOT afraid to use it!"


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## MA-Caver (Feb 4, 2009)

Heh... could've been worse the guy could've slipped an altered glove over this one and pretended he was wolverine!  
Let his beard and hair grow out... trim them... get some gel for the upswept portions along the side of his head and sideburns... Hey! a bad Mo-fo right there dude... now if you can get the clerk to stop laughing...


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## The Last Legionary (Feb 4, 2009)

Soke Calkins?
http://martialtalk.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=134&order=desc&page=2


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## arnisador (Feb 4, 2009)

Intimidation must be the key idea here--"I'm crazy and I'm holding a sharp object."


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## The Last Legionary (Feb 4, 2009)

I use my razor like intellect for that.
That fails, I'll use the nearest blunt object.
Any blonde works well.


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## David Weatherly (Feb 4, 2009)

MA-Caver said:


> Heh... could've been worse the guy could've slipped an altered glove over this one and pretended he was wolverine!
> Let his beard and hair grow out... trim them... get some gel for the upswept portions along the side of his head and sideburns... Hey! a bad Mo-fo right there dude... now if you can get the clerk to stop laughing...


 

Well the Wolverine movie comes out in May so there's still time for this to happen.


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## Deaf Smith (Feb 4, 2009)

If one tries to rob me with a Batleths, I'll just draw my phaser.

Deaf


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## grydth (Feb 4, 2009)

I wonder if the robber slipped up and wrote the hold up note in Klingon, too...  and when this menace is caught, what will the police line up look like?

The banks should give their security guards light sabers.


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## matt.m (Feb 4, 2009)

You have got to be kidding me.  What a total moron.  Hopefully in this genius case I hope that there will be only one.


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## Josh Oakley (Feb 5, 2009)

matt.m said:


> You have got to be kidding me.  What a total moron.  Hopefully in this genius case I hope that there will be only one.



Remember, it's only crazy if it doesn't _work._ He's done it twice, effectively. And he chose to knock over convenience stores instead of banks. And 7-11 has a no weapons policy. The guy has the tactical and psychological advantage.


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## Josh Oakley (Feb 5, 2009)

I'm going to call my buddy in colorado springs. He runs a dojo and maybe he can go around to 7-11s and run some free classes on self-defense against a batleth. 

Then I'm going to ask him to film them so I can have a laugh.


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 5, 2009)

Batleth http://www.geocities.com/indygizmo/batleth.jpg

It looks intimidating. It looks dangerous. In the hands of someone who can use it, it can be effective. A combination bo/hook sword type deal. Personally, I find it too awkward to use. We're laughing at the "its from a tv show" angle, but really, I've seen Filipino and Chinese blades equally as weird.


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## Grenadier (Feb 5, 2009)

I suspect the robber thinks that he has some great skill in the Batleh, much like how some of these swordlike object-swinging manaics think of themselves as great warriors...  

There was an incident in Florida about a decade ago, where a pawn shop owner refused to sell a .357 magnum to a crazy-looking fellow.  That guy then claimed that he was a master ninja, and assaulted the store owner with a stainless steel ninja-to...  

The results weren't pretty.  Poor Dave got a couple of feet of steel crammed into his gut, but was able to finish off the lunatic with several shots from his .25 ACP Beretta.


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## The Last Legionary (Feb 5, 2009)

So, if you're at th 7-11, and Worf and Gowron walk in, get the **** out of there fast homie!


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 5, 2009)

I've been in eateries where 2-3 dozen people were dressed like Klingons. I could tell you some good tales about that. (Course I'm also Dep. Quad. Cmd. for the regional KAG fleet.... *ahem* geek)


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## Kreth (Feb 5, 2009)

[geek]According to Marc Okrand, author of _The Klingon Dictionary_ and the guy who invented the Klingon language, the proper spelling is _betleH_.[/geek]


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## The Last Legionary (Feb 5, 2009)

Pulling your phaser out in public can get you an indecent exposure charge in some counties you know.


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## MA-Caver (Feb 5, 2009)

Grenadier said:


> I suspect the robber thinks that he has some great skill in the Batleh, much like how some of these swordlike object-swinging manaics think of themselves as great warriors...
> 
> There was an incident in Florida about a decade ago, where a pawn shop owner refused to sell a .357 magnum to a crazy-looking fellow.  That guy then claimed that he was a master ninja, and assaulted the store owner with a stainless steel ninja-to...
> 
> The results weren't pretty.  Poor Dave got a couple of feet of steel crammed into his gut, but was able to finish off the lunatic with several shots from his .25 ACP Beretta.



"A man has GOT to know his limitations" ~ Insp. Harry Callahan


Found another article related... with picture... Looking at it... all blurry... I think the clerk mis-identified the weapon. Don't look like no Klingon weapon I've ever seen. Hmmph! <scorn> Wanna be fan.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/18637190/detail.html#

Also this comment from another site on the same article... :lol: 


> The high score right now is this comment: 	Quote:
> 22 points   -  ConventionFans commented 12 hours 1 minute ago
> *I think 7-Eleven should require all clerks to keep Tribbles behind the counter, in case of future attempts*.


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 5, 2009)

No, it does look like a batleth, though it looks like he's holding it wrong.....


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## Carol (Feb 5, 2009)

Looks too small to be a Batleh.


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## Kreth (Feb 5, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> Looks too small to be a Batleh.


It's probably one of them sawed-off assault betleHs... :lol:


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## The Last Legionary (Feb 5, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> Looks too small to be a Batleh.


Never insult the size of a True Klingons Weapon! That's a strike against his Honor! 

LOL!


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## arnisador (Feb 5, 2009)

Bob Hubbard said:


> No, it does look like a batleth, though it looks like he's holding it wrong.....



Given that it's fictional, who knows?

The weapon will get its first ever combat test when he encounters a clerk with a Terran baseball bat...


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## Grenadier (Feb 5, 2009)

MA-Caver said:


> Found another article related... with picture... Looking at it... all blurry... I think the clerk mis-identified the weapon. Don't look like no Klingon weapon I've ever seen. Hmmph! <scorn> Wanna be fan.
> http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/18637190/detail.html#
> 
> Also this comment from another site on the same article... :lol:


 
Well now, this reminds me of all the times someone tries to commit assault with a stainless steel ninja-to, and the press sensationalizes is, calling it a "razor sharp samurai sword!"


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 5, 2009)

arnisador said:


> Given that it's fictional, who knows?
> 
> The weapon will get its first ever combat test when he encounters a clerk with a Terran baseball bat...


I get doctors ok, we can try padded versions in the summer.


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## tellner (Feb 5, 2009)

It's not polite to make remarks about the size of a man's Batleth. I'm sure that with proper technique even a very modest one could achieve enough penetration.


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## arnisador (Feb 5, 2009)

Bob Hubbard said:


> I get doctors ok, we can try padded versions in the summer.



Is it OK if I just cork the bat?


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 5, 2009)

ok, long as I just put those little plastic thingies on the tips.....


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## Guardian (Feb 8, 2009)

He's gotten lucky, he'll run out of it soon and meet that one with a gun.  He's got some guts though no matter how insane.


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## arnisador (Feb 8, 2009)

They did a bit on him on SNL last night too...


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