# new mom



## michelle_gonzales74 (Aug 9, 2006)

hi everyone!! well Im very new to all this. my youngest son has shown interest in martial arts as long as I can remember. hes 5. well after much talk with alot of different people Ive let him join a class. I have enrolled him in a kungfu/san shou-shuai jiao class.we live in a VERY small town and there was that and taekwondo and an aikido class. thats it. anyways, his wrestling coach is the one that eventually suggested a teacher. (my son wrestled this year for the first time and ranked 1st in his age/weight bracket for northern new mexico!). as i have ABSOLUTLY NO KNOWLEDGE of any martial arts, i have come here to get as much info and advise as possible. im just a mom who is trying to understand this all......

any advise or suggestions will be greatly appreciated....

thanks!


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## Kacey (Aug 9, 2006)

First - welcome to Martial Talk, and happy posting!  :wavey:

I would suggest asking your son's instructor for recommendations on reading material, as any recommendations he gives you will align with his curriculum.  After that, I'd just hang around here a little while - the kung fu practitioners should be along shortly to give you more advice specifically on kung fu; I do TKD, so I can't provide much specific information on kung fu.

And as a school teahcher as well as a martial arts instructor - let me just say thank you for finding out about what he's doing, instead of just dropping him at the door and assuming that was all that was needed.


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## lamanna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi Michelle, welcome to MartialTalk. 

You said your son was interested in Martial Arts, is there something particular he likes? Is there something in particular you want him to get out of it? There are some styles that are more competition based, some very self-defense orientated and probably most of them are great for fitness. I'm not familiar with that particular Kung Fu but every type of school is different. From my experience, most Kung Fu schools teach good self defense, they're able to enter tournaments(allow I'm not sure about children) and they have a lot of meditation/relaxation type mind exercises. If your son is fully into competition then something like Judo or Tae Kwon Do is probably best, on top of that, they're still great for self defense. Some school might be all into competition so you'll see the teaching vary. With Judo you do lots of throws and locks, much like wrestling. Tae Kwon Do is mostly kicks and punches.

Sorry to derail your thread a little but could I ask how you were convinced to let your son start Martial Arts? I want to get my younger cousins into it but their father says it's too dangerous. I've tried explaining it to him but I can't get through hehe.


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## SFC JeffJ (Aug 9, 2006)

Welcome and enjoy.  Lot's of good information here, and knowledgeable people, so feel free to ask about anything.


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## Swordlady (Aug 9, 2006)

Welcome to MT!    You definitely came to the right place for information.  Ask away...


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## Drac (Aug 9, 2006)

Greetings and welcome to MT..


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## bignick (Aug 9, 2006)

My goodness...first thing.  Take a breath, as with anything new the amount of (dis)information out there can be overwhelming.  Spend some time asking questions in the Chinese forums here, and looking/searching through old threads to see what you can pull up about this style.  

Is there anything specific you're wondering about.  Don't worry about asking what may seem like dumb questions.  We've had quite a few parents come on here in your exact situation.  We're always willing to help...

Welcome, by the way...

May I also suggest trying some classes?  You'd be suprised what you can do, no matter the age.  It's also a great way to share something positive with your son, meet new people, and get some good excersize...how can you go wrong?


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## terryl965 (Aug 9, 2006)

Welcome and happy posting. There are some very knowledgable people here on MT ask and they shall answer.
Terry


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## matt.m (Aug 9, 2006)

Welcome.  I hope you find the answers you are looking for.


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## MJS (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to Martial Talk! Enjoy your stay!:ultracool 

Mike


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## Ceicei (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to MartialTalk!  :wavey:  You've come to a good place to seek answers!

Almost all of my family is involved in martial arts.  I study American Kenpo (I started in 1985) and Danzan Ryu JuJitsu (less than a year ago).  Three of my four children are also in Kenpo.  My boys (now 14 and 12) have been training for nearly four years.  My daughter (6) started the same age as yours--at 5 years old.  My youngest is still too young (4) for martial arts, but if she is interested, she may join next year.  She is, however, taking gymnastics and loves it.  My husband is supportive of all this.

Most of us here are like family to each other.

- Ceicei


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## Flatlander (Aug 10, 2006)

bignick said:
			
		

> May I also suggest trying some classes? You'd be suprised what you can do, no matter the age. It's also a great way to share something positive with your son, meet new people, and get some good excersize...how can you go wrong?


This is a great suggestion for a couple of reasons.  First, it will give you a sense of what type of person the instructor is, as well as it will help you become more familiar with what type of training your son is receiving.  Secondly, it's good for you!

Welcome to Martial Talk.  I'm a parent also, my daughter is 3.  My hope was to be able to get her training too when I think she has developed the attention span to "be there" and get something out of it.  

You'll find Martial Talk to be very informational; there's something here for just about everyone.  It's a friendly community, with many regular, informative, and helpful people.

I have a question: how long did you lurk before you joined?  Or did you join right away?

- Dan


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## Brian R. VanCise (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to MartialTalk!  There are alot of very knowledgeable people here so just ask away and hopefully we can help you out.

Brian R. VanCise
www.instinctiveresponsetraining.com


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## Kreth (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to the forum, Michelle.


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## stone_dragone (Aug 10, 2006)

Greetings and welcome to MT.  You've come to the right place for info!


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to Martial Talk! You will indeed find much help and information here. Ask any questions you may have. 

*silently wonders how long it will be before mom is signing up for classes too*


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## michelle_gonzales74 (Aug 10, 2006)

first of all i want to thank all of you for welcoming me into your forum!! I have a myspace account and tryed the forums there and with the exception of a few really helpful people i got nothing. the groups I asked got no response besides a bunch of kids screwing around. i got alot of people bashing eachother. that is not what i was looking for.

what finally got me to allow my son to join was my brother. my brother is at camp pendleton (proud sister of a marine sgt.!!) he takes muay tai and jujitsu. when my sons wrestling coach recommended san shou i right away called my brother. he is the one that got me to the point where i am now. he expained that the MA i was looking into was very similar to wrestling. he should already be comfortable on the mat enough by now that it wont be so awkward for him. he also said that with kungfu it is alot of self defense and as he put it "practical kickboxing". and if he didnt like it or i felt uncomfortable with it i can always take him out but that for me to try it out. so we went to the class to check it out. i sat in on a beginners and an intermidiate class. i really liked what i saw. the teacher is cool and the kids were comfortable around him but yet very respectful. he is strict but not harsh if that makes any sense...i go and sit in on the class when hes there now too. he gives me thumbs up when the teacher isnt looking.

as for me, i wont be joining anytime soon.... not that i wouldnt want to, just i have some injuries that i am still recovering from that wont allow me to... but who knows in the future...

anyways, is there any advise or suggestions from anyone about kids and MA?? anything i should or shouldnt do?? anything i can do to give him an advantage in his learning? i really hope that this will turn out to be a life long thing for him....


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## Flying Crane (Aug 10, 2006)

michelle_gonzales74 said:
			
		

> first of all i want to thank all of you for welcoming me into your forum!! I have a myspace account and tryed the forums there and with the exception of a few really helpful people i got nothing. the groups I asked got no response besides a bunch of kids screwing around. i got alot of people bashing eachother. that is not what i was looking for.
> 
> what finally got me to allow my son to join was my brother. my brother is at camp pendleton (proud sister of a marine sgt.!!) he takes muay tai and jujitsu. when my sons wrestling coach recommended san shou i right away called my brother. he is the one that got me to the point where i am now. he expained that the MA i was looking into was very similar to wrestling. he should already be comfortable on the mat enough by now that it wont be so awkward for him. he also said that with kungfu it is alot of self defense and as he put it "practical kickboxing". and if he didnt like it or i felt uncomfortable with it i can always take him out but that for me to try it out. so we went to the class to check it out. i sat in on a beginners and an intermidiate class. i really liked what i saw. the teacher is cool and the kids were comfortable around him but yet very respectful. he is strict but not harsh if that makes any sense...i go and sit in on the class when hes there now too. he gives me thumbs up when the teacher isnt looking.
> 
> ...


 
Hi Michelle,  welcome to MT.

I am one of many practitioners of Chinese Martial arts here on the forum.  I'll give you some thoughts, and like the others said, feel free to ask.

I haven't studied San Shou, but what I understand of it, is that it is a type of competitive full contact kickboxing that also allows for some takedowns and grappling work.  It's roots are in the traditional Chinese arts, but it is perhaps a bit of a more "modern" art, as far as it being somewhat geared toward competition.  I expect it has a lot of practical stuff that would also be useful outside the competition ring, in a real self-defense situation.

If the school also teaches a traditional Chinese art, I (and probably the others here) would be interested in knowning exactly what system that is.  There are many many many (literally, probably hundreds or more) different styles of Chinese martial arts.  Some are very similar to each other, others are quite different.  There is no standard answer or description that would apply equally to all Chinese martial arts across the board.  These arts all have their own strengths and weaknesses, but when done well they can all be tremendously effective.

For now, I would say just attend the classes with your son, and watch how they operate.  If you are comfortable with the situation, and your son enjoys it, you are probably in a good place.  If not, go elsewhere.  Don't get too attached to a particular art.  Rather, the right instructor is much more important.  If he is someone you trust, and he relates well to your son and the other students, and has a lot to teach, he is the right one.  If he makes you or your son uneasy in any way, including over finances, get out.

If you do look at the other schools in you area, I suspect Aikido might not be the best choice for your son, as he is quite young.  Aikido has a certain subtlty about it that I think can be very difficult for adults to grasp, and it might just be a bit too frustrating for a child his age.  I am sure the aikidoists here can comment more fully on this.

OK, I just checked your profile, I see they teach Shuai jiao.  This is a traditional Chinese wrestling.  I have not studied it, and have seen very little of it, but it is a grappling art with some similiarities to Japanese Judo and Jujitsu.  It focuses on throws and takedowns, and grappling work on the ground, as well as joint manipulations to control an opponent.  If you son likes the wrestling he has done, this might be a good choice for him.


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## Lisa (Aug 10, 2006)

Welcome to the forum Michelle :wavey:


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## michelle_gonzales74 (Aug 10, 2006)

he does love his wrestling and is very good... that is why his coach recommended this teacher.

the class Mario(thats my sons name) goes to is not in a regular "dojo" or "gym"... he does semi private classes in his teachers home that part of has been turned into a studio. he studies kung fu and competes in san shou/shuai jiao. he studied under phil romero who is pretty well known in new mexico for his wing chun training.


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## Flying Crane (Aug 10, 2006)

michelle_gonzales74 said:
			
		

> he does love his wrestling and is very good... that is why his coach recommended this teacher.
> 
> the class Mario(thats my sons name) goes to is not in a regular "dojo" or "gym"... he does semi private classes in his teachers home that part of has been turned into a studio. he studies kung fu and competes in san shou/shuai jiao. he studied under phil romero who is pretty well known in new mexico for his wing chun training.


 
Ah, wing chun, that is something that I have some experience with.  I don't know Phil Romero, so I can't comment on that.  Wing Chun is quite a bit different from San Shou and Shuai Jiao.  It is a stand-up, punching and kicking art, but has a lot of "trapping" and pinning of appendages, done from a standup position.  It can be very effective, but is not one of the "flowery" or pretty styles.  It's actually kind of an ugly style, but I like it quite a bit.  Is he teaching this to your son?


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## michelle_gonzales74 (Aug 11, 2006)

no.. he trained in it and still practices but said he will not teach anyone that young wing chun but that he would be willing to see how he progresses and maybe one day in the future would love to work with him. he said that wing chun is not for someone to take lightly and is a very serious issue.(i dont quite understand this).anyways, marios just happy hes on a mat.


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## Bigshadow (Aug 11, 2006)

Welcome to Martial Talk!


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## Flying Crane (Aug 11, 2006)

michelle_gonzales74 said:
			
		

> no.. he trained in it and still practices but said he will not teach anyone that young wing chun but that he would be willing to see how he progresses and maybe one day in the future would love to work with him. he said that wing chun is not for someone to take lightly and is a very serious issue.(i dont quite understand this).anyways, marios just happy hes on a mat.


 
I can understand his position.  It is really not something that someone would do casually, for exercise or something.  It is really a no-nonsense fighting art, very straight forward and to the point.  It also has subtlties that can be difficult for someone so young to grasp, but at the same time can  become quite effective after a short period of training.


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## OnlyAnEgg (Aug 13, 2006)

Hi Mom!


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## Ninjamom (Aug 13, 2006)

Hey Michelle!!

Welcome to MT!!

As far as what you can do to help your son, - you are doing it!!  I think it's great that you are visiting the classes, watching what the Instructor does, and seeing for yourself how the class is run and how your son is doing.  The fact that you have people you already know and trust giving input (your brother, the wrestling coach) is a big plus, too.

I have three children (12, 11, and 9), two of whom have been doing Tae Kwon Do for three years now.  It has been a great help for physical activity, discipline (my youngest is ADHD and is being evaluated this month for Ausberger's), social interaction, and self esteem.  I'm sure your son will love it.

I look forward to seeing your posts on the forum, and to comparing notes about kids.

God bless,
Ann R.


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## J-Man (Aug 14, 2006)

Welcome to MT!


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## michelle_gonzales74 (Aug 14, 2006)

Thanks again for all the help guys... and thanks to all for the warm greeting... 

to ninjamom: i have 3 kids too. all boys 13,8,5. the others didnt want to try it. the only sport they are into is baseball. mario is the only one that is into everything! he does hockey from october till march, wrestling from jan till june, baseball from may till july,soccer from august till october. then of course now we have his kung fu class year round. its been real different to have a kid want to do soooo much with as young as he is. 

his teacher now wants to move him to the intermediate class. he said he is advanced for his age as far as focus and that the time on the mat helped with his moving foward in the class.(because he knows the rolls and some of the takedowns). he thinks if he puts him in a class with older kids(not that much older really) that it will challenge him a little more and that he will be able to advance faster in that class. is it normal for a teacher to move kids up that fast?


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## Ceicei (Aug 14, 2006)

michelle_gonzales74 said:
			
		

> his teacher now wants to move him to the intermediate class. he said he is advanced for his age as far as focus and that the time on the mat helped with his moving foward in the class.(because he knows the rolls and some of the takedowns). he thinks if he puts him in a class with older kids(not that much older really) that it will challenge him a little more and that he will be able to advance faster in that class. is it normal for a teacher to move kids up that fast?



If he has the focus and the discipline, the extra challenge may be what he needs.  This happened with my older son (kenpo) and his cousin (jujitsu).  The main thing you do need to watch out for is "burn out" or "hitting plateaus" that your son will encounter.  It is good for kids to take a break every once in a while.  This will help maintain the interest (provided the break isn't too long) and actually could improve their progress.  My second son and my daughter moves at the regular pace.  

It is funny, my two sons started out at the same time.  When my older one moved up (different motivation and focus ability), they actually got along better now without the pressure of competition (from being at the same level/rank).  Even going at a regular pace for my second son, he does take breaks whenever needed too.

- Ceicei


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## jasonearle (Aug 16, 2006)

what's kickin Michelle?  I guess now you have 2 sites you can go to to talk to me or ask me questions.     Cool Beans!


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## w.kaer (Aug 17, 2006)

Welcome to MT Michelle.


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