# Rules to Live by



## KenpoTess (Sep 29, 2004)

Erma Bombeck's 10 Rules to Live By:

   1. Never have more children than you have car windows.

   2. Gravity always wins. Accept that. Science is trying to reverse the
aging process; the kicker is that you look young on the outside, but
inside you're still aging. There is no advantage to looking like Arnold
Schwarzenegger on the beach if you can't travel two feet away from a
restroom.

   3. Never loan your car to someone to whom you have given birth.

   4. Pick your friends carefully. A 'friend' never goes on a diet when
you are fat or tells you how lucky you are to have a husband who
remembers Mother's Day -- when his gift is a smoke alarm.

   5. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who
waved off the dessert cart.

   6. Given a choice between the man of your dreams and a plumber,
choose the latter. Men who can fix your toilet on Sundays are hard to
come by.

   7. Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother
Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

   8. Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may
need this man/woman someday to finish a sentence.

   9. There are no guarantees in marriage. If that's what you're looking
for, go live with a Sears battery.

  10. Never go to a class reunion pregnant. They will think that's all
you have been doing since you graduated.


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## TigerWoman (Sep 29, 2004)

I miss Erma Bombeck, I always admired and liked her spirit. TW


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## Chronuss (Sep 29, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> Erma Bombeck's 10 Rules to Live By:
> 
> 1. Never have more children than you have car windows.


...but the only vehicle that doesn't have windows are motorcycles...and I can see my fat **** on one of those now...I'd have an up close and personal chat with a guardrail...


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## someguy (Sep 29, 2004)

A guardrail.  WEll you'd do better than me.  I'd meet the pavment more times than if I was walking.


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## KenpoTess (Sep 29, 2004)

Chronuss said:
			
		

> ...but the only vehicle that doesn't have windows are motorcycles...and I can see my fat **** on one of those now...I'd have an up close and personal chat with a guardrail...




Well 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 this is one reason you're not going to have offspring~!!!


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## Chronuss (Sep 29, 2004)

you mean one   *MORE*   reason not to have offspring...


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## KenpoTess (Sep 29, 2004)

well Yesh~!! Damn I'm blind now...


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## Chronuss (Sep 29, 2004)

so...since I'm not going to buy a motorcycle anytime soon...looks I'm duct taping all the windows on my Honda...then technically I'll have no windows and therefore hold true to the saying...


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## KenpoTess (Sep 29, 2004)

Yep yep yep~!!  *twitches*


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