# Chuckles from the Docs



## Jade Tigress (Feb 1, 2008)

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
    Baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted
    The lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.  Suddenly I
    Noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.

            Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco


         2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
    Elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big
    Breaths," I instructed "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

             Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA


         3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife
    That her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more
    Than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the
    Family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

             Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


          4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
    Cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
    With one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the
    Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running
    Out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered
    What I hoped I  wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on
    His body!  Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch
    Before applying a new one.

             Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA


          5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
    Asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete
    Confusion she answered.."Why, not for about twenty years - when my
    Husband was alive."

             Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR


       6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
    Checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this
    Morning?"  "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't
    Seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to
    See the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly"

             Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI


         7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman
    With purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
    Of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
    Determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
    Scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on
    The operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
    Dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the
    Grass."  Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
    Note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the
    Lawn."

             Submitted by RN no name


    AND FINALLY!!!................


          8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite
    Embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
    Embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
    The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly
    Burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my
    Work and  sheepishly said, "I'm sorry.  Was I tickling you?"

    She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish
    I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

              Dr. Wouldn't submit his name


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## MA-Caver (Feb 1, 2008)

Those have GOT to be true... too funny not to be. :lol: 

Favs were #2, 6, 7 & 8 

Good find Jade.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Feb 1, 2008)

:rofl:


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## Tames D (Feb 1, 2008)

LOL. Kentucky jelly....


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## pad256 (Feb 1, 2008)

Thanks, my sisters a nurse, she'll get a kick out of those.

to funny


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## stone_dragone (Feb 1, 2008)

Very good!


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## Jade Tigress (Feb 1, 2008)

MA-Caver said:


> Those have GOT to be true... too funny not to be. :lol:
> 
> Favs were #2, 6, 7 & 8
> 
> Good find Jade.



I think they're true too, 3 & 5 are my favs. lol


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## jim777 (Feb 5, 2008)

Funny stuff! :lol:


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