# Positive parent encounter that could have gone badly



## IcemanSK (Jun 11, 2010)

I have to share this story here. I teach in an upper-class suburb and often have parents want to me to change various things about the way I teach, change testing days/times etc. to accommodate their schedules on a few days notice, and even the actual Art itself to fit their comfort level. That's why I was bit worried when a parent came to me a few days after I told his kids they were not ready to test. The kids are 9 & 12 years old.


I told the father that his kids are bright, funny & aren't discipline problems in my class. But, unless it's sparring, they just don't seem to care to be in class. After several missed testing cycles they still don't remember their forms, one steps, or even basic stances. Rather than get defensive or upset, he listened, asked questions about specific things his kid's were struggling with, & appreciated my point of view when I that I cannot teach them new forms (or test them for new rank) when they don't remember material we've worked on for 6 months. (Sometimes, they would be able to do a form they've known for 6 months, but not be able to remember it from Monday to Wednesday.) This father understood that it was his kid's lack of effort that was holding them back from testing. He appreciated that I couldn't/wouldn't "pass them on" because they had been that rank for some time. Nor did he expect me too. It was nice to work with a parent who understood this.


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## Shuto (Jun 12, 2010)

Why any parent would want to spend all that money to have their children simply 'passed on' without really learning anything is beyond me, but they certainly exist.  There's much cheaper forms of babysitting available.


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## Ken Morgan (Jun 12, 2010)

A good father.
It may be an indication of other problems in the kids lives, as learning disability along the lines of ADHD. It would be interesting to see how they perform at school.


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## bushidomartialarts (Jun 12, 2010)

Don't give all the credit to your father. I'm certain that conversation went well in part because you handled it with confidence, kindness and integrity. Well done.


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## Tez3 (Jun 12, 2010)

bushidomartialarts said:


> Don't give all the credit to your father. I'm certain that conversation went well in part because you handled it with confidence, kindness and integrity. Well done.


 

Absolutely! No parent, however fair they are, wants to hear criticism of their child, it's a parent thing but if told with consideration and understanding parents do accept (and understand) what the instructor tells them.
Parents like this one you can work with and find solutions to any problems.


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## IcemanSK (Jun 12, 2010)

Ken Morgan said:


> A good father.
> It may be an indication of other problems in the kids lives, as learning disability along the lines of ADHD. It would be interesting to see how they perform at school.



They do quite well in school, they have no learning disabilities, nor ADHD.


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## MBuzzy (Jun 12, 2010)

At least you got lucky with the parent.  Some kids just don't pick things up very easily....


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