# I know this is uncool for me to say but...



## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

I quit drinking. 

I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.

So I've got an upcoming trip to Vegas and I'll be hanging with alot of drinkers. To me Vegas has always been about drinking. My last trip to Vegas (a little over a year ago) I came close. While at the JET nightclub someone handed me a glass of wine and I went so far as to put the glass to my lips before a friend of mine (a drinking friend no less) asked me what the hell I'm doing.

Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.


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## Carol (Feb 24, 2009)

I can't say that I quit drinking entirely but I've given it up for months at a time.  Not the same number of months that you have...  

What originally did it for me was all the student creeds my old school had us say in class... "I will not do anything to harm my mental growth or my physical health".  I reached a point where I felt like I was being a bit disingenuous.  So, I got away from the habit.  

I can't say that I do not drink, but I don't drink a lot, and I don't really miss it.  I found that I'm way more productive when I don't drink.  I don't miss the time lost in a haze...LOL.  I also don't miss the smells, or "pissing away your money" as a friend put it, and I don't miss the gatherings where booze is the center of attention.   I mean that's...boring.  

A tip I learned awhile back is something that *may* help you.  When I was a sales engineer, I was around sales people a lot.  And there are a lot of salespeople that DRINK.   I mentioned to a friend that I often found the after-hours environment to be a bit much, she suggested ordering grapefruit juice, on the rocks.  Its "different" enough to look like you are drinking a cocktail, and it lends itself to sipping.


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## Nolerama (Feb 24, 2009)

All I can say is that you should stay strong. Keep up your accomplishment at staying sober for so long. That's a great thing for you.

Would it be possible to find a training group in Vegas that would occupy your time there? Or maybe find a non-drinking group that would be able to show you around?

Would it be possible to find a AA group that might be more proactive than the one you visited? They're out there, and are their own support communities. They're very strong and perform a ton of community service. Have you thought about starting your own?

My heart goes out to you. Stay strong.


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## exile (Feb 24, 2009)

QGwill there be someone there who doesn't drink? Whom you're sure, or pretty sure, is going? Because it would be 110% appropriate to ask them to do you a favor and act as your 'backup' conscience here. Surely not everyone you'll be with there will be a consumer of alcohol, eh? Whoever isn't... they can do you a good turn, at little or no inconvenience to themselves, by keeping one eye on you, with a license to issue a gentle reminder in case they see you heading down Temptation Road, no?


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## grydth (Feb 24, 2009)

Some years back, I found myself the single parent of two daughters aged 4 and 7. I quit drinking completely then, realizing that it was now just me responsible for them. I couldn't afford to be drunk if something came up that endangered the kids. 

Consider what you mean to your family.

Things have since changed, to include a wonderful 2d marriage. But I haven't gone back to drinking. I don't need it, and you don't either.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 24, 2009)

I truly wish I could say something that would help but all I have is what is more important to you than drinking?

You have the strength, that I know, you do San Soo.

Your Kung Fu Brother
XS


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## Gordon Nore (Feb 24, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.



For 42 months you've done it one day at a time, I presume. So that's your job on the Vegas trip -- one day at a time. If you're uncomfortable being around your friends while they're drinking, you have the right to absent yourself.

I don't believe that people in recovery should have to prove or test themselves by placing themselves in front of a buffet of temptation -- that's pretty much Vegas in a nutshell -- everything you can be addicted to is right there. As the rehab tech said recently on _Sober House_ the TV show, "Hang around the barber shop and you're gonna get a haircut."


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## jks9199 (Feb 24, 2009)

Fantastic achievement!   

AA is not for everyone -- but there are other support groups out there.  And nothing says you can't wander into an AA meeting in Vegas if you need some reinforcement, even if you don't plan on sticking around.

And, y'know... a glass of ice water can be served in a rocks glass... and is indistinguishable from a vodka on the rocks unless you're drinking it.  Just in case you're in one of those situations where you have to have a glass in your hand...


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> I can't say that I quit drinking entirely but I've given it up for months at a time. Not the same number of months that you have...
> 
> What originally did it for me was all the student creeds my old school had us say in class... "I will not do anything to harm my mental growth or my physical health". I reached a point where I felt like I was being a bit disingenuous. So, I got away from the habit.
> 
> ...


 
Thanks Carol. Interesting info in your PM. I'll check it out. I'll send you a PM when I have more time.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

Nolerama said:


> All I can say is that you should stay strong. Keep up your accomplishment at staying sober for so long. That's a great thing for you.
> 
> Would it be possible to find a training group in Vegas that would occupy your time there? Or maybe find a non-drinking group that would be able to show you around?
> 
> ...


 
Actually, I will have some good people with me that have always had my back. It's really me that I have to worry about  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

exile said:


> QGwill there be someone there who doesn't drink? Whom you're sure, or pretty sure, is going? Because it would be 110% appropriate to ask them to do you a favor and act as your 'backup' conscience here. Surely not everyone you'll be with there will be a consumer of alcohol, eh? Whoever isn't... they can do you a good turn, at little or no inconvenience to themselves, by keeping one eye on you, with a license to issue a gentle reminder in case they see you heading down Temptation Road, no?


 
Thanks Exile. I will have some good "backup" in place. Odds should be in my favor. I hope. I think.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

grydth said:


> Some years back, I found myself the single parent of two daughters aged 4 and 7. I quit drinking completely then, realizing that it was now just me responsible for them. I couldn't afford to be drunk if something came up that endangered the kids.
> 
> Consider what you mean to your family.
> 
> Things have since changed, to include a wonderful 2d marriage. But I haven't gone back to drinking. I don't need it, and you don't either.


 
Yeah it's all about the family. My biggest concern when drinking was driving. I always loved driving my car and motorcycle after drinking. Driving fast. Riding the bike hard (dirt bike). Luckily I never had an incident or accident. I like to think it was skill but I know it was luck. Gotta think about the kids.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

Xue Sheng said:


> *I truly wish I could say something that would help *but all I have is what is more important to you than drinking?
> 
> You have the strength, that I know, you do San Soo.
> 
> ...


 
You said plenty in your PM brother. Thanks. I'll send you a PM when I have more time.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

Gordon Nore said:


> For 42 months you've done it one day at a time, I presume. So that's your job on the Vegas trip -- one day at a time. If you're uncomfortable being around your friends while they're drinking, you have the right to absent yourself.
> 
> I don't believe that people in recovery should have to prove or test themselves by placing themselves in front of a buffet of temptation -- that's pretty much Vegas in a nutshell -- everything you can be addicted to is right there. As the rehab tech said recently on _Sober House_ the TV show, *"Hang around the barber shop and you're gonna get a haircut."[/*quote]
> 
> I love that. And so true.


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## Tames D (Feb 24, 2009)

jks9199 said:


> Fantastic achievement!
> 
> AA is not for everyone -- but there are other support groups out there. And nothing says you can't wander into an AA meeting in Vegas if you need some reinforcement, even if you don't plan on sticking around.
> 
> And, y'know... a glass of ice water can be served in a rocks glass... and is indistinguishable from a vodka on the rocks unless you're drinking it. Just in case you're in one of those situations where you have to have a glass in your hand...


 
Thank you jks.


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## mook jong man (Feb 24, 2009)

Good on ya mate , I gave up drinking and smoking . The reason I gave up drinking is because everytime I got drunk if there was some one there smoking I would be straight into the smokes again . If your there with the other people and you have even one drink it will be all down hill from there believe me .

 If you start to get tempted , just before you do it , think to yourself how ashamed of yourself you are going to be tomorrow , the little shindig your at will be over in a couple of hours .

 But that shame and guilt will plague you for days , thats what has helped me a couple of times when I was about to slip .


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## Makalakumu (Feb 24, 2009)

Qui-Gon

I have also given up alcohol for an extended period of time.  I'm not sure if I'll ever change my mind, but I am pleased with the results so far.  I definitely am more "with it" in my world.  I'm a better man, a better father, a better teacher, and I am more committed to my priorities.  

For me, alcohol was becoming a distraction that was standing in the way of the serious personal development that I set out to do when I moved.  So far, when I feel like going out with the guys for a beer or sitting at home and indulging, I've been successful with reminding myself with the reasons why I stopped in the first place and that has helped.

What do I gain?  What do I lose?  And the clincher, How much is your Word worth to yourself?  

Stick it through.  I've got your back and am sending positive thoughts your way.

Aloha

John


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## StrongFighter (Feb 25, 2009)

Many men do not enjoy going to A.A. Taking a different approach, What about writing a list of places where you can go that are non-drinking establishments ? 

I am sure that list will grow. If you don't like to write down a list then make a mental list of places you see that you would like to have peace for yourself because you need to take care of yourself first then think of good places that you can take your family along for fun events.


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## kaizasosei (Feb 25, 2009)

Can't completely relate to drinking booze because it makes me feel so rotton.  I mean i sortof like the taste of say a whiskey sour or even enjoy spirits-drank almost a whole bottle of tequila last year out of the blue.  I can drink something like 10 beers rather easily, but the weird thing is i really don't like the taste....i have to force myself to get it down and sometimes it almost makes me gag.  When i was a kid my dad used to say that i would grow to like the taste as i get older, but strangely, it never really happened.  God knows i tried and got myself drunk plenty as a youngster sometimes even taking up to two sleeping pills during a hardcore whiskey binge....barely made it home sometimes and i felt like **** everytime.  i mean, drinking is not for me and thus, i don't really drink at all except socially or when the time comes again when i get tricked by the delicious looking bottles into giving it another go.  Like the last tequila binge....again i felt like i was put into one of those astronaut machines cyclotron thingys.  My conciousness is not really different either-aside from being a bit goofy, i keep saying to myself out loud 'never again' , 'why?'
but damn those bottles looked so tasty!!

Smoking pot has been my drug for some time.  But i have quit a while ago.  Although i had a few timeouts since then, i am basically clean right now. So if alchohol is for someone what weed is for me then i can understand drinking.  Only thing is that it is a fact that all substances are not healthy especially when taken excessively.  
Right now, i would really like to keep up my clean lifestyle, but i would like to smoke every now and then-within reason...no big spending-something like having a tiny amount and making it last a long time.  Problem i have is with my girl, it's either all or nothing....all is quite extreme and nothing is kindof strict as i see it-  I mean why can't we be grown up and be able to have the frickin willpower to regulate....

tough case i know, because many addicts of whatever substance choose to never have any contact with their problem substance.  I can understand the precaution and respect the willpower, but isn't that like a murderer saying he doesn't want to see any people because he can't help but kill... not really healing in my book.  

Why can't we just know when enough is enough and regulate ourselves.  Try not drinking or smoking at all for a while and see how it is...life is inebriating or intoxicating enough as it is.  family, friends,Movies, conversations, sports, arts, ********...all that stuff is natural and normal and it gets you there-that is for sure.  

So as an adult, why not drink when it's good to drink, smoke when one must, but first and formost aim to keep the body pure enough to be healthy.  Healthy enough to live long, healthy enough to take care of ones loved ones and show them ones real face...hell, we owe it to them.
Addiction is a sign that there is a saddness in the person.  I know it. It is not easy even admitting it and admitting it is not good without trust but so be it.  But still, saddness is not an excuse to ruin oneself.  One must take care to keep healthy and treasure the body that is the house of our soul.
If someone in a difficult position achieves success, it is so much greater than someone that has it easy to begin with. Yiie!

It is especially sad and somewhat wrong when a martial artist is an addict to drugs.  That is not the right way.  The body is the temple so we must cherish it and not let it go derelict. 
I have a couple of cool definitions for love....one is and i'll write it in japanese romaji first:  ai to iu no ha(wa) aite no ichiban takai kanohsei wo midasu koto.  that means love is to see out the highest(greatest) possibilty in the partner(other)...but ultimately as my friend Jarrod has already stated here on mt, one must love oneself. ! .  One must aim for the highest, see the precious and only compare oneself to the best.

also, Ai to iu no ha aite wo jiyu ni shiteageru koto...love is to set ones partner free.  So by loving oneself, one can also set oneself free from all evil bonds.


Good luck to you...I hope you can at least come to the realization that i have made.  Would be great to live the life of a immaculate warrior monk on some mystical mountain whos body is in better shape than a dogs and heart as pure as a child and mind as clever as an immortal serpent-but i guess we're human so we cannot always be perfect.  

When i was a kid i could not pronounce the letter L-and i'd always tell my grandad- breibe range, breibe range!(bleibe lange)  Which means:  stay long. 
same to goes to you, and most everyone for that matter. One must take care of oneself and put ones training above all else.  Always be getting better at at least certain fields...a true martial artist can do without sex, without intoxication, without worldly pleasures..but must take good care of himself/herself with the best judgement available.  

j


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## elder999 (Feb 25, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> I quit drinking.


 
No-that is totally cool. Good for you, and keep it up.


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## 14 Kempo (Feb 25, 2009)

I believe it is totally cool as well. Good for you and keep it up!

Although I never considered myself an alcoholic perse, I gave up drinking as I knew it some 24 years ago. I will have an occasional beer with the boys, but that's it.

Glad to hear you have been strong, I know it can be tough at times.


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## KempoGuy06 (Feb 25, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> I quit drinking.
> 
> I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.
> 
> ...


im 24 years old and I developed a drinking problem at 18 while i was in high school. It took putting my car in a ditch to realize i was on the wrong path. after hard fought battle i managed to control my problem and now I can drink when i want to but i dont really like it all that much anymore. Its expensive and unhealthy.

good luck to you man and Im glad you have made it thus far

B


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## DavidCC (Feb 25, 2009)

There are probably a dozen AA groups with a short drive of your home. If you would benefit from a support group you should try some of the other meetings, from what I hear they can be as different as night and day.


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## bluekey88 (Feb 25, 2009)

Brother, you're doing the right thing.  You ARE strong enough to get through this .  And....God forbid, you slip...you have a drink.  Y'know what?  You get back on the wagon and get yourself sober again.  I guess what I'm saying is that slipping up does not make you a failure.

I say this as one who has been sober for 204 months.  I used to not be a happy or a mean drunk, butrather a wake up in someone else's clothes with my car keys jammed up my ### drunk.  I had to make some pretty significant lifestyle choices.  It's still one day at a time.  Some days I'm tempted, most days I'm not.  You can do this....you're stronger than you think (to make it almost 4 years is pretty incredible).  We here at MT hve your back!

Peace,
Erik


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## Tames D (Feb 25, 2009)

bluekey88 said:


> Brother, you're doing the right thing. You ARE strong enough to get through this . And....God forbid, you slip...you have a drink. Y'know what? You get back on the wagon and get yourself sober again. I guess what I'm saying is that slipping up does not make you a failure.
> 
> I say this as one who has been sober for 204 months. I used to not be a happy or a mean drunk, butrather a wake up in someone else's clothes with my car keys jammed up my ### drunk. I had to make some pretty significant lifestyle choices. It's still one day at a time. Some days I'm tempted, most days I'm not. You can do this....you're stronger than you think (to make it almost 4 years is pretty incredible). We here at MT hve your back!
> 
> ...


 
Luckily I've never been a rowdy drinker, just loved to have a good time. Have you ever tried fighting while wearing a lampshade on your head? It's difficult and looks ridiculous...


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## Rich Parsons (Feb 26, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> I quit drinking.
> 
> I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.
> 
> ...




If you have a specific server step aside with him or her and give them a tip up front. Ask them that if anyone buys you a drink to say no. If it would make too much of a scene to just bring you coke or seven up. 

It might help for many people will go out of their way to help people if they know. 


Good Luck


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## exile (Feb 26, 2009)

Tim, my sense of people is that if they understand that you'd just as soon not have anything alcoholic to drink, for reasons that are good and sufficient to you, they'll wholeheartedly support you and try to facilitate thatthe decent ones will, anyway, and in spite of my cynicism, I actually believe that most people really are decent and want to do the right thing, because they hope that if the situation were reversed, people would be trying to do the right thing for _them_. I think Rich is right about this: if a few people know that you really, really want to avoid drinking anything alcoholic, they'll try to see that your wishes are respected.

A lot has changed during the past half century or so. Once upon a time, it was considered anti-social if you didn't want to go 'drinking with the boys', just as it was considered manly to smoke and vaguely sissyish not to, especially if you were a young male. These days, that attitude is almost literally a museum piece. In the same way, I think people have a lot more understanding of the position of the man or woman who's not against other people drinking but doesn't want to do that himself or herself. The trick, as several people have already touched on, is to make sure that people know in advance that you're there to have fun, but fun for you doesn't include anything over 0%. Just a word in the ear of a few people in your group should be more than enough, I'd bet.


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## MA-Caver (Feb 26, 2009)

This month I celebrated my 20th year being sober (and clean). Personally... I don't see a DAMN thing UNCOOL about quitting drinking. But that's just me. 
If you're quitting because you WANT to quit, *and* because you KNOW you got a problem *and* KNOW that if you don't stop you're gonna die or hurt someone you love then I applaud you and you have my support whenever you need it. You can PM me any time with questions or whatever. I've got AOL/IM and will be happy to chat with you on that for as long as you wish. 
If you're quitting for the sake of quitting well... good luck to you, sincerely.

I've been there (still there) and I know. True, that it took my first 90 days of sobriety to really realize that I really was an alcoholic and had a problem with it... 90 days to clear that crap out of my system entirely and attending AA meetings twice (sometimes 3 times a day) for 90 days to fully get it through this thick skull of mine that I was going to die within a few years if I didn't stop. 
Now 20 years later the best thing in my life at the moment is that I haven't drank again or taken a drug for recreational purposes. Hell, I rarely take a prescription drug and if it's a pain killer (which I've had to take from time to time on various injuries sustained) I tell the doctor to make sure it's non-narcotic... non-opiate based. 

Some people I associate with still drink and I'm okay with that because they're not getting plastered nor reeking with it. They have one or two beers and behave themselves which is alright with me. I can see they don't have a problem with it so I don't have a problem with them. I've disassociated myself from those who drink for the sake of getting drunk and my life is the better for it, IMO. I don't care if someone doesn't like it that I don't drink... they're not me and they don't have my problem... if they really are my friends then they'll respect my decision. Same for you, same for anyone who takes this step in their lives and now walk a different path. 

You've set yourself on a path and I truly believe that you're a better person for making that decision. Your family will thank you for it and you'll find your real friends will respect you for it. 
You've always had my respect as a member of this board, a fellow MA-ist and as a human being, it's now grown to two-fold. 
If I can help out lemme know. 
:asian:


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## Tames D (Feb 28, 2009)

Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.

I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...


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## exile (Feb 28, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.
> 
> I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...



Let us know how it goes, Tim. We haven't forgotten about your tricky situation. There are a lot of people thinking of you and wishing you well.


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## qwksilver61 (Feb 28, 2009)

Qui-Gon,The toughest thing I have ever had to do........by far,almost a religious experience.The temptation to drink is...every day.I hear you on that AA thing,pardon me for everyone who partakes...but they almost never wanted to hear my side...almost cold and indifferent.
I started drinking in my teens,I love to be around people,still do.Giving up the drink...I had to re-think....friends.....places to hang out and different things to do without making excuses to have another.Consequences; lose my, marriage,dui,work,health etc.The law is making it harder to get away with,no tolerance policy,as soon as an accident occurs..automatic blood test for controlled substance.....It would be easy to go back and stay there,but the reality of it scares me,and you know what? some of those people that I used to see...have health issues,are locked up,or are no longer living breathing souls.Also when you are sober you can see the illusion of a good time when you are on the outside looking in,now I enjoy everything.....in real time.God bless...press forward and never look back.


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## Rich Parsons (Feb 28, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> Hey, thanks everyone for all the great advice and well wishes. We're leaving later tonight and should be checking in after midnight (this might be getting off to a bad start, lol). We're back on Wednesday.
> 
> I'm feeling good. We'll see how it go's...





exile said:


> Let us know how it goes, Tim. We haven't forgotten about your tricky situation. There are a lot of people thinking of you and wishing you well.




Yes Good Luck and keep us posted or updated when you get back.


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## kidswarrior (Feb 28, 2009)

Not much to add, Bro. Your time sober is substantial, but it's always a day at a time, huh? I've got nine years now, but that doesn't mean a hill of beans if I start again tomorrow. So it's a precious thing, hard to earn, easy to let go of.

I understand the pros and cons of AA. Don't have any answers. Some meetings I found better than others, tho. I had to do some 'shopping.'

All I can say is at first I thought the AA old timers (my first mentors in sobriety) were being dramatic when they'd say stuff like, If I drink I'll die. Now in late middle age, finally get it. It's no laughing matter.


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## bluekey88 (Mar 2, 2009)

kidswarrior said:


> not much to add, bro. Your time sober is substantial, but it's always a day at a time, huh? I've got nine years now, but that doesn't mean a hill of beans if i start again tomorrow. So it's a precious thing, hard to earn, easy to let go of.
> 
> I understand the pros and cons of aa. Don't have any answers. Some meetings i found better than others, tho. I had to do some 'shopping.'
> 
> all i can say is at first i thought the aa old timers (my first mentors in sobriety) were being dramatic when they'd say stuff like, if i drink i'll die. Now in late middle age, finally get it. It's no laughing matter.


 
qft


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## Dao (Mar 9, 2009)

I don't drink I don't need to drink to have a good time.  It's bloody expensive in Canada.  I've seen alcohol done more harm than good especially drinking and driving, many people do it often.  One of my old friend actually drinks a beer from a can while he's driving.  Just nuts.


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## MA-Caver (Mar 9, 2009)

I had a t-shirt long time ago (when I was drinking)... said: 
I don't have a drinking problem...
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
... no problem!


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## Tames D (Mar 21, 2009)

Almost forgot about this thread. I should give it some closure by letting you know how it went.

Had a great time and everything went smooth. I was never offered a drink in any of the clubs/restaurants we were in by anyone including the waiters. Hmmm, I wonder if someone made arrangements for this, no one said and I didn't ask
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.  Obviously I have some good people in my life that care about me and my wellbeing. 

Never really thought about drinking on this trip, just kinda focused on the good times. I may have reached a stage where most of the desire to drink is gone? Yeah right...

All in all it was a great trip with some good friends. No problems, no trouble. A special thanks to all of you who supported me with your words.

*One more thing:* I have to say that I regret starting this thread. I'm a little embarrassed now that I went public with this. It probably should have been kept private. But the responses I got gave me strength and I'll never reget that.


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## Nolerama (Mar 21, 2009)

I'm glad the trip went well, Qui-Gon.

When I quit smoking, I told everyone that I was doing so. I'm a nicotine addict, and cigarettes were my drug. I told them that I was afraid that smoking would kill me so I needed to stop.

So I quit cold turkey and asked my smoking friends to never give me a cigarette, even if I ask.

The biggest part about it is that I had to make it known among my circle of friends. Voicing my addiction fueled my drive to remove myself from smoking. It gave legitimacy to what many smokers attempt in passing.

So don't feel embarrassed. Be happy that the people around you care about you, and your wishes.


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## exile (Mar 21, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> All in all it was a great trip with some good friends. No problems, no trouble.



That's brilliant, QG. I had the feeling it was going to be fine. Your own strength of will and character made that by far the most likely outcome.



QUI-GON said:


> *One more thing:* I have to say that I regret starting this thread. I'm a little embarrassed now that I went public with this. It probably should have been kept private. But the responses I got gave me strength and I'll never reget that.



No&#8212;don't be embarrassed for doing something that, in a sense, was part of your own plan to stick to your program. When someone makes a public declaration of intentions, which is what your OP was, as I read it, it's almost always a tactic for ensuring that they're going to carry through&#8212;a public commitment, after all, mobilizes the judgment of the community, eh? And for a lot of people, that's a key element in sticking to a certain course of action: you've promised, in effect, so you better come through. It's a very good kind of move, and it probably contributed here to your success. Nothing to feel embarrassed about in the least, amigo.


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## Rich Parsons (Mar 22, 2009)

QUI-GON said:


> Almost forgot about this thread. I should give it some closure by letting you know how it went.
> 
> Had a great time and everything went smooth. I was never offered a drink in any of the clubs/restaurants we were in by anyone including the waiters. Hmmm, I wonder if someone made arrangements for this, no one said and I didn't ask
> 
> ...




Embarrassed. I understand. But to let you know if you want to see embarrassment, check out the threads about me for quotes and then the one with the pictures.  


Seriously, I do understand your points and wish you the best and I am glad that the site could offer some help. 

It is even greater that you had the experience you did. You do have people looking out for you, not just others, but yourself. Keep up thehard and good work. :asian:


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## bluekey88 (Mar 22, 2009)

Goo djob Man.  It was a brave thing to do...both the trip and your  declaration.  Nothing to feel embarrassed about (though I understand). 

Peace,
Erik


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## Tames D (Oct 28, 2009)

A little update on this:

They say that all things shall pass. And all streaks must end... my streak ended last week at 4 years and 26 days.

As always, I will report the good, the bad, and the ugly.


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## Carol (Oct 28, 2009)

You are human, my friend.  

If you didn't cause trouble, it is not the end of the world. 

I'll send you a PM later tonight with something that you may find helpful


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## jks9199 (Oct 28, 2009)

Tames D said:


> A little update on this:
> 
> They say that all things shall pass. And all streaks must end... my streak ended last week at 4 years and 26 days.
> 
> As always, I will report the good, the bad, and the ugly.


Depending on the circumstances and effects... it simply means you start a new one.  There's plenty of us pulling for you.


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## Tames D (Nov 2, 2009)

Carol Kaur said:


> You are human, my friend.
> 
> If you didn't cause trouble, it is not the end of the world.
> 
> I'll send you a PM later tonight with something that you may find helpful


 
Thanks Carol. Would love to see that PM.


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## kidswarrior (Nov 3, 2009)

Tames D said:


> A little update on this:
> 
> They say that all things shall pass. And all streaks must end... my streak ended last week at 4 years and 26 days.
> 
> As always, I will report the good, the bad, and the ugly.


It was just another day, Tim.

We can only live the day in front of us. Haven't met anyone yet who didn't have regrets, and yet haven't met anyone who could rewrite a single day in their past. It's just the human condition.


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## bluekey88 (Nov 3, 2009)

Man, I'm sorry to hear that.  But, what others have said is soooo true.  You can pick things up and get back on track.  This can either be a little bump in the road or a giant obstacle....the choice in the matter is truly yours.  It's not a matter of failure or lack of fortitude....manure occureth....what matters is what you do with this going forward.

Good luck and well wishes my friend.

Peace,
Erik


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