# Finally asking for help



## Ironcrane (Jan 29, 2012)

I've resisted posting this for awhile, but now I think it's time to. For my entire life I've suffered from an eating disorder that I only found out had a name two years ago. It's called food neophobia. Though in my case it's slightly different from the standard definition. On top of that I also have problems with an addiction, though I'm not going to say what that is just yet. I have been trying to correct this problem for perhaps 10 years now, and after this length of time I have finally come to admit that this is simply something that I can't do on my own.
This also creates another problem, and thus, the reason for this post. I don't know where to go to find the help I need to deal with this. I don't have any parents, and my family is scattered all over the place. They're not easy to get to, and I don't have much contact with any of them. I don't have any friends to go to except for one. He is willing to help, but it's very limited as I'm not able to see him very much either. And I also can't go to a Doctor, or a Psychologist because I don't have any money. It doesn't matter what discounts, or special deals are involved - if it costs money, than it's not an option.
This is the only place left where I haven't brought this up, so I might as well give it a try. Without friends, family, or the ability to pay for treatment, how do I go about finding help?

Not only has this affected my health, but it's getting in the way of me being able to work on any of my personal ambitions. They're piling up, but I simply have to much fatigue, and can't think clearly enough to do them, and it's starting to drive me mad.


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## Flea (Jan 29, 2012)

First, I want to congratulate you on reaching out.  It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge a problem and to ask for help with it.

I don't know all that much about eating disorders, but if you can't pay for professional help, a lot of places accept people on a sliding scale.  There are also a lot of scholarship programs and financial aid if you ask around.  I'd suggest contacting your local community health center, health department, or crisis hotline for information on resources.

Personally, I've found the best thing going is peer support.  Which is to say, the company of like-minded individuals in the same boat.  If you can find a support group, that's gold.  You mentioned an addiction as well, so perhaps a 12-step group might help.  One benefit of the 12 Step paradigm is that they have groups for everything imaginable, so your odds of finding a fit are pretty good.  There are other paradigms too, like Rational Recovery.  Or a generic group like DBSA for help with depression.  Again, call your local crisis line, department of health, the psych department at a local hospital, or even your clergy if you have one.  I'm guessing that if you google "food neophobia," some online support groups will probably pop up too. Any of these resources could be a good networking tool to get you where you need to go.  

Let me know if I can be of any more help.  May the blessings be.


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## Razor (Jan 29, 2012)

Does this eating disorder sometimes go by another name? I've never heard of an eating disorder under that name (I'm a Psychology student), only a fear of new things and experiences. 

I have read that there are often support groups for people suffering from such conditions, as Flea mentions above, and agree that it may be good to try and seek one out. I know that on the face of it, it may seem less helpful that seeing a doctor and getting treatment, but support of peers is often remarkably effective for certain conditions.


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## Razor (Jan 29, 2012)

Ah, never mind on the first bit, I have now found what it is. It seems like you're doing the right thing to try and get it sorted, and I hope you can find a support group or something near you.


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## aedrasteia (Jan 29, 2012)

Ironcrane

deep gassho to you for stepping forward. maybe start here?? http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/02/lewis_clark_to_host_conference.html

contact the conference coordinator if you aren't able to attend (do it after the conference) and 
ask for contact information on those attending , just start approaching people, tell them yoour situation 
and ask for advice. You are not likely to encounter insults or hostility.

please let us know how its going. most here are happy to help if ewe can
and offer encouragement and support.


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## Ironcrane (Jan 29, 2012)

Thank you for the support. I've started looking around again.


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## Tez3 (Jan 29, 2012)

I have no experience I'm afraid that I can help you with but wish you well and I'm a very good, across the seas surrogate grandmother if you need someone to listen, moan at or just have a chat with!


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## ballen0351 (Jan 29, 2012)

Your afraid to eat new foods?  So what are eatting now?  Ive never head of this before id be interested to learn more.  It sounds alot like my daughter she will go into tears if we try to give her anything new and not just healthy stuff either a new candy bar or type of ice cream she goes into major meltdown mode.  She basically lives off of Waffles and chicken nuggets, and strawberries.


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## Ironcrane (Jan 30, 2012)

Well, the theory behind what causes this, is some major, and disruptive change happening around the age of two. The two year old will try to compensate by trying to take control over something that they can control. Namely what they eat. Most outgrow it, but some don't. And this fits me perfectly, because when I was two years old my biological mother died right in front of me. (So I'm told. I have no memory of her whatsoever) I was then taken in by my grandmother, who I call my mother. And she was short on patience, and had a raging temper. It's hard to remember clearly by now, but I think she tried to force feed me my own vomit, because I couldn't handle cottage cheese that she gave me.
In my case it's a little bit different, because I'm not afraid of trying new things. It's just that certain types of food are vile beyond what words can describe. The foods I can't handle are fruits, and vegetables, with the exception of potatoes.They made me throw up almost instantly, and what little I was able to eat made me sick, and I threw it up anyways. Everyone found this completely incomprehensible, and I was talked down to a lot for being so picky. Personally I find it incomprehensible that you people can actually 'enjoy' those disgusting things. There is a way to experience what it's like for me to eat something like a piece of fruit, and that would be to try and drink a carton of milk that has been expired for 5-6 months. (I did that once by accident. Payed closer attention to the dates after that) And if you can't drink it, then I'll scream at you at the top of my lungs, while I grab the nearest object in reach, and smash it in your head. I might be able to manage this a little bit better if it wasn't compounded by the other problem I have.
Though now that I think about it. Because of this some others in my family were also always extremely angry at me, to the point I was afraid to be around them. Even one of the neighbours was borderline. I think I'm going to stop right there before I get to angry, and go do something else.


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