# How to start 6 yr old son in martial arts - where to begin?



## sweetpotato (Feb 7, 2011)

Hello,
I stumbled onto this website as I was researching on Google.  I have a 6 yr old son who my husband and I would like to get started in martial arts classes.  I have seen tae kwon do and mixed martial arts schools in my area and don't know what to look for or what to do.  I am strongly interested in getting my son started, out of concern that he needs to learn to protect himself.  He's very mild-mannered and very NON-competitive - I am concerned if he'd enjoy or fare well in a martial arts class at all because he tends not to thrive in competitive environments.  However, he just does not stick up for himself if another kid is a little too rough with him.  He won't fight back at all even if he gets hurt.  My husband and I are very concerned about this and wants our son to build some confidence and be willing and able to protect himself.  There have been enough instances over the past year or two that have caused us to be concerned.
Where do I go about looking for a school?  And what kind of martial arts do I sign him up for?  How can I tell if a school is good?
Thanks in advance for your feedback.


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## clfsean (Feb 7, 2011)

sweetpotato said:


> Hello,
> I stumbled onto this website as I was researching on Google.  I have a 6 yr old son who my husband and I would like to get started in martial arts classes.  I have seen tae kwon do and mixed martial arts schools in my area and don't know what to look for or what to do.  I am strongly interested in getting my son started, out of concern that he needs to learn to protect himself.  He's very mild-mannered and very NON-competitive - I am concerned if he'd enjoy or fare well in a martial arts class at all because he tends not to thrive in competitive environments.  However, he just does not stick up for himself if another kid is a little too rough with him.  He won't fight back at all even if he gets hurt.  My husband and I are very concerned about this and wants our son to build some confidence and be willing and able to protect himself.  There have been enough instances over the past year or two that have caused us to be concerned.
> Where do I go about looking for a school?  And what kind of martial arts do I sign him up for?  How can I tell if a school is good?
> Thanks in advance for your feedback.



It's good to hear that you're concerned about your son, but before you go & enroll what can ultimately be very expensive due to lock tight contracts a lot of places use, find out if he wants to study MA.

Take him to one or two classes. Most storefront schools will have a "try X number of classes for free" or "2 weeks for $19.95" options. 

Don't worry about a "good school" at this point, because it might not matter. If he does seem to like it, go somewhere cheap for a little while & see if it a true interest & desire. Then shop for a "good school".


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## jks9199 (Feb 7, 2011)

Excellent advice, but I'm going to tweak it a little.

Find out if he's interested.  Try some classes.  Honestly, at his age, it's not really about self defense.  (That's a whole different thing.)  It's an activity.  Something to do that will let him practice successes and coping with some failures.  Watch the classes at each school.  Look at who's teaching (an adult? a kid?  what's the ratio of teachers to students?), but even more importantly look at the students.  Are they behaving?  Are they being kept interested?  How is misbehavior or distraction dealt with?  Does the school have an atmosphere that you want your son in?


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## ETinCYQX (Feb 8, 2011)

sweetpotato said:


> Hello,
> I stumbled onto this website as I was researching on Google.  I have a 6 yr old son who my husband and I would like to get started in martial arts classes.  I have seen tae kwon do and mixed martial arts schools in my area and don't know what to look for or what to do.  I am strongly interested in getting my son started, out of concern that he needs to learn to protect himself.  He's very mild-mannered and very NON-competitive - I am concerned if he'd enjoy or fare well in a martial arts class at all because he tends not to thrive in competitive environments.  However, he just does not stick up for himself if another kid is a little too rough with him.  He won't fight back at all even if he gets hurt.  My husband and I are very concerned about this and wants our son to build some confidence and be willing and able to protect himself.  There have been enough instances over the past year or two that have caused us to be concerned.
> Where do I go about looking for a school?  And what kind of martial arts do I sign him up for?  How can I tell if a school is good?
> Thanks in advance for your feedback.



I started when I was 6, in TaeKwonDo. 

Excellent advice so far. The only thing I'll add is that I personally would prefer a TMA such as TaeKwonDo (which you mentioned) as opposed to a mixed martial arts gym for a child that young. Reason being is that TKD has respect and discipline and the idea of defense-only built into the curriculum, and that age IMO that's more important than pure effectiveness.


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## Yondanchris (Feb 9, 2011)

clfsean said:


> It's good to hear that you're concerned about your son, but before you go & enroll what can ultimately be very expensive due to lock tight contracts a lot of places use, find out if he wants to study MA.
> 
> Take him to one or two classes. Most storefront schools will have a "try X number of classes for free" or "2 weeks for $19.95" options.
> 
> Don't worry about a "good school" at this point, because it might not matter. If he does seem to like it, go somewhere cheap for a little while & see if it a true interest & desire. Then shop for a "good school".



Ditto, also ask about the instructor to student ratio and if they have a dedicated Kids instructor!


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## ETinCYQX (Feb 9, 2011)

Now that I have a few minutes, here's a list of what I'd look for if I were to choose a school for your son based on my experience. 

1) Do the students bow when entering/leaving? If they don't, does the instructor correct them? Even better if they remind each other. 

2) Do they refer to him as "Sir" or "Mr."? (Maybe not for an assistant instructor. When I help out with a kid's class I go by Ethan by choice.)

3) Are they well behaved? (Fidgeting, talking, rolling eyes etc. Looking interested is a good sign but don't take looking bored too seriously. A lot of repetitive drilling in TKD for kids.)

4) Long shot but have a look at higher belts. Probably around green or blue is a good measure. What's their technique like, does it look nice and crisp? At that Rank it should be IMO. 

I think one can tell a lot about a school by watching a children's class. Their behavior reflects their instruction pretty accurately.


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## Gaius Julius Caesar (Feb 21, 2011)

If one of your main reasons is so he actually learns to defend himself I would avoid about 98% of Tae Kwon Do schools and I say this as someone who got his start doing TKD (and a mix of Muay Thai and "Dirty tricks") with my step dad and later at a Dojang run by Jung Soo Park in the 80s.

 Most TKD now has degenerated into a mix of flashy dance fighting and Olympic TKD which teaches habits that will quite frankly get your son knocked to the ground and stompped on. If you find one of the 2% that teach it the old way then I would consider it.

 For a kid I would start in Judo, from day one he will work with another human body not just kicking in the air and on pads. 

 He will leanr to unbalance, sweep throw and pin down opponents and keep from being pinned down. Thank about it, if he has a bully come at him in school do you want him taught to try to beat his opponent down (hard for kids to do as they lack power) or to slam them down and control them until a teacher can break it up?

 Your son will clearly be seen as DEFENDING himself as oppossed to trading blows, making him look like the aggressor if the teacher misses the lead up and first motions of the fight.

 Judo is great self defense, it is also a sport so he can compete for fun and it hel;ps build good charachter (TKD does do that very well too.)

 It also builds a great, realistic attribute base for further and more severe martial study.

 My kids started with what I call "Martial play" Nerf swordss and lightsabers.
 I mix it up between just playing with them and actually teaching them elements of Japanese, European and Filipino weapons skills that builds attributes for controlling ranges in fighting. I also take the oldest to my Dojo and teach him unarmed self defense.
 He starts Judo in march, I will also expose him to some Karate crooss training after about a year in Judo.

 The above will give him a great base for when I bring him in as a full student in Jujutsu and Filipino martial arts.

 He has allready handled a couple of bullies and yesterday another kid in the poark was waiving around a knife at him and he did one of the best techniques there is, he ran home to tell me as I have told him never to engage a blade unless your withing 10 feet and can't run. Nike Fu is a great MA for kids vs. kids and many times for adults as well.

 Good luck and I hope he has fun in whatever you choose, it needs to be fun or he will hate it.


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## Fuzzy Foot (Mar 1, 2011)

Some good things for you to look for have already been mentioned. I will add or repeat. 
At his age and because of his personality traits, I'd recommend a kids only class . I taught kids for many years and this is just my observation, but kids like yours, timid, non-combative etc as you described, in my experience do better with women instructors. The catch being if the woman instructor is good with kids because not all are, just like not all men are. However I would not rule out a male teacher if you feel you're in the right place/school. As far as defending himself, for the most part its the simple stuff that works. That means basic kicks, punches etc with some modifications and some exceptions. In the various arts labeled as "karate" the basics are much the same. A front kick, a reverse punch, a basic block with minor differences look and are performed the same across the arts of karate. So for him if he can learn some good basics, gain some confidence in the right environment and if you'll pardon this "come out of his shell" he'll do well. The last thing is, if you try a school that doesn't seem to be what you're looking for after the fact find another. This kid just needs the right school/teacher to excel.


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## Apatride (Mar 2, 2011)

Hi,

As it has been said, I would definitely go for Judo in a kid only class.

Traditional MAs have a lot of advantages at this age and tend to keep bullies away (boxing classes end to attract them).

The other reason I would go for judo is that it develops strength in the entire body, it is a real sport, extremely physical (while other MAs like Aikido are more adapted for older beginners). It also gives good habits regarding falls at an age when you can afford some mistakes (learning how to fall properly is way more difficult and painful when you get old, believe me on this one, I know what I am talking about... 
It is also a MA were things are kept real so it is a good defensive tool. A young Aikido beginner might be surprised and disappointed when the opponent resists (don t get me wrong, Aikido is effective but it takes time before one can use it out of the dojo) while Judo is practiced with a resisting opponent and covers most of the dangerous situations for a kid (as stated, strikes are not very powerful at this age so learning how to throw/ pin an opponent while preventing him from doing it to you is he ultimate tool at school).

Last but not least, when I was a kid, all the Judo guys I knew were good kids, well behaved and usually succesful in school. Most of the boxers were bullies with learning issues. Is it a cause or a consequence ? I don t know. But it is a fact.

Edit: Just in case, I am not a Judoka (I tried but kept on getting hurt because I am a bit old and overweight) and I practice Muay Thai (really cool guys at the gym) and Escrima/Kombatan so no offense intended against these styles.


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## Kenpo17 (Jun 17, 2011)

Most Martial Arts schools will allow you to have 1-2 free lessons in the beginning to see if it is something you and/or your son wants to continue.  I was six years old when I first started learning Martial Arts myself.  Get to know the owner and instructors your first few times at the school to make sure that you entrust them with your son, even though most Martial Arts schools have glass windows or such so you can watch your son at all times.  Check the school online to see what other students think of it.  Because your son is only six, one of the instructors may even start him out with a private lesson.


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## MA-Caver (Jun 18, 2011)

Since you're having a 6 year old starting out in Martial Arts then one of the things that you should do is make sure he's not going to be a black belt by the time (or before  ) he's 7. 

There are serious MA instructors and there are the guys looking to make a buck. From my experience here on MT we have the former not the latter. So you've come to the right place.

You are aware that MA involves using violence against another for defense only. It has been that way for centuries. A good instructor in whatever art is going to teach your son that. Make him understand control and restraint and the use of best judgement... i.e. when to run and when to stand. The morality should be left entirely up to you and your husband. Is it right (wrong?) to hurt someone who is trying to hurt you (or a friend/loved one) and so forth. 
The instructor should teach your son only how to harness himself physically, mentally and emotionally so that the techniques can be governed easily by the values and morals that you teach him. That he won't lose his temper and seriously hurt someone. Discipline his mind and body to listen to that voice in his head saying "stop, that is enough." 
There is a certain amount of power that is gained for the individual who learns MA. That power grows with his skill. Self confidence he'll have and his fear will be reduced to the basic survival level while his humanity grows as he understands his growing strength and knowledge. As we all know, knowledge is power whatever that knowledge may be. 
It's been said often, MA is a journey. Many do not make it and for all others, the few, there is no destination. 

If you've no compunction to exposing your son to violence then have him watch some MA demos of each art. Study him, see which one gets his attention, then ask him about it and see if he has a genuine interest in it. And yes, as the others have stated take him to the different schools around your area and let him try it on. Your son will be exposed to MA violence sooner or later as he grows in his classes. Better to have been exposed by you the parent and taught the lessons (again, by you) on the differences between practiced violence (as in a MA-dojo) and street violence which he may (or pray not) face as he grows older. 

Also, never be afraid to ask questions here or in whatever art it may be to find out what questions should best be asked the instructor of said school, if an answer brings more questions during the interview, then do your best to ask them here as well and see a varied response. If you ask in a specific forum then you more n likely get the best answers from people who know. General forums would be good to get a wider variety. Remember, knowledge is power. And decidedly cheaper, as in spending your money wisely on the right instructor. 

Good luck to your son as he begins his journey, may he find his parents along side him someday. :asian:


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## Bill Mattocks (Jun 18, 2011)

Learn the charts yourself, well enough to make sure he practices correctly at home, especially at first.  Every kid feels awkward and out of place for the first couple months, they feel like they are not fitting in and can't do it.  The sooner they learn the basics and can keep up in class, the sooner they will enjoy learning martial arts.  Get them through their basic punches and kicks quickly by helping them at home and practice lots. When they catch fire, many of them love it for life.  If they get scared off or intimidated by what they think they can't do, they may lose interest.  Just my 2 cents.

I think 6 is a good age to start, especially if they have some level of maturity and a strong instructor who requires discipline in the dojo.  Will help them in every aspect of their lives.

Have fun!

Oh, consider taking classes with your child.  It's never too late to start - I started at 46.


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## Slipper (Jun 20, 2011)

I know of two places here (small town) that are having week-long summer 'camps' for children. I started two of my daughters (ages 9 and 6) this week. I think it's a good chance for them to have a feel for what martial arts are about. 

Also, if you're worried that your son might not like it due to shyness or hesitancy, see if one of his friends will be signing up. That small boost might be all he needs to give it a chance. 

All the best...


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## WC_lun (Jun 20, 2011)

Talk to the instructors of your local schools making sure to mention your particular worries.  Which one do you think your son would do best with?  Does what the instructor tell you make sense?  If any instructor tells you he can turn your son into a fighting machine, do NOT go there.  If an instructor tells you he will train a six year old to be as good as adults, run, do not walk, away from the school.  Most of all, trust your gut.  I would caution against signing any contracts without having your son go through some classes.

Teaching kids martial arts is a balancing act.  Thier bodies and minds are still growing rapidly, which limits many of the things you would teach them. However, thier minds are like sponges, if properly focused.  You must give them enough information to keep them interested and progressing. The keys to teaching kids is physical activity and confidence through the training.  That is going to do more for self defense against other kids than any technique in the world.


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## MA-Caver (Jun 21, 2011)

WC_lun said:


> Talk to the instructors of your local schools making sure to mention your particular worries.  Which one do you think your son would do best with?  Does what the instructor tell you make sense?  If any instructor tells you he can turn your son into a fighting machine, do NOT go there.  If an instructor tells you he will train a six year old to be as good as adults, run, do not walk, away from the school.  Most of all, trust your gut.  I would caution against signing any contracts without having your son go through some classes.
> 
> Teaching kids martial arts is a balancing act.  Thier bodies and minds are still growing rapidly, which limits many of the things you would teach them. However, thier minds are like sponges, if properly focused.  You must give them enough information to keep them interested and progressing. The keys to teaching kids is physical activity and confidence through the training.  That is going to do more for self defense against other kids than any technique in the world.


Exactly... and ensure that the instructors have non-MA activites involved as well. To give a bit of variety. One MA school I know of offered a one night/two day camping trip (with or without parents -- optional) just so to do something different but still together. 
Kids can get bored of the same old same old... "is martial arts ALL they do here?". Your six year old may not be at that point but later on it's going to be there in a year or two or three... when he  gets older and is still interested in doing MA.
Yeah having a friend along helps... just got to find the right friend (whose parents are of "like mind" as you). Eventually he'll befriend his long term classmates and things work out.


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## Lee Mainprize (Aug 2, 2011)

I think you really want to school that focuses on character development this will improve confidence.

Look out for these 3 things.

1.  Does the instructors use positive reinforcement - and do it sincerely.  Avoid Instructors that are negative in their coaching and seem to lose control of their emotions - not everyone is able to teach kids well.
2.  Does the school have good discipline and organization - students are running wild and the school is a little loose its its operation.
3.  Look for a school that separates belt groups - a small school is often small for a reason!  Your son will get better specific coaching in a beginners class for example

Good Luck


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## ArmorOfGod (Aug 6, 2011)

Hello and welcome.
I am going to give an unpopular opinion: wait until he is about ten years old.  If you put him in at six, he will have quit before seven (unless you make the mistake of signing a contract).  If you put him in, what are you trying to accomplish?  Do you want him to get a black belt after a few years then quit?  Do you want him to stay in for many years?  Do you want to simply get him some self-confidence and self-defense skills before he quits?  If it is that last thing I wrote, that is a pretty good reason, but if it is to get a cool belt and uniform, put him in soccer instead.

If you insist on putting him in, call your local Y's and community centers so you can find a school that will not insist you join the "leadership club," "splits club," and other silliness.  If a school insists on contracts, leave.  Some school have that as an option, but don't get into a contract.  If the school has "baby black belts" (black belts under about 15 years old), run away.  Six year old black belts are a joke to our community.  If they are too expensive, keep shopping.  Price is not corrolated with quality all of the time.

BTW, have you considered boxing?  Most cities have boxing clubs that are usually free and will teach him basic punches.

AoG


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## tayl0124 (Aug 19, 2011)

Bill Mattocks said:


> Learn the charts yourself, well enough to make sure he practices correctly at home, especially at first.  Every kid feels awkward and out of place for the first couple months, they feel like they are not fitting in and can't do it.  The sooner they learn the basics and can keep up in class, the sooner they will enjoy learning martial arts.  Get them through their basic punches and kicks quickly by helping them at home and practice lots. When they catch fire, many of them love it for life.  If they get scared off or intimidated by what they think they can't do, they may lose interest.  Just my 2 cents.
> 
> I think 6 is a good age to start, especially if they have some level of maturity and a strong instructor who requires discipline in the dojo.  Will help them in every aspect of their lives.
> 
> ...



This is exactly how I started.  My son just turned 6 at the time saw the Karate guys at our YMCA and told us "I want to do Karate."  So we talked to the instructor and asked him how old you have to be.  He told us that they suggest 8 because of the repetitive nature of training a MA.  He however said that some kids can handle it at 6, and that we could bring him to a few classes to give it a try.  After about 2 months of classes I was able to go ans watching him(work schedule interfered otherwise).  I would go with a notebook and pencil and write down the movements and instructions that his sensei was giving him.  Four months of doing this and his sensei suggested that I join the class.  And the rest as they say is history.  My son will be 9 in a few days, he often tells us that he doesn't want to go to karate on a given day, but when asked if he wants to quit he answers quickly without a doubt "NO".


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