# Self defence tips - How to avoid getting attacked in the first place



## RTKDCMB (Jun 2, 2013)

Here are some self defence tips for avoiding trouble. If anybody has some  more then please add to the list and tell me what you think.





Number 1 rule  Be alert and aware of your surroundings at all times.
Always walk with confidence and never mope around with your head down, this will make you less of a target for bullies. Bullies are like wolves  they often hunt in packs and only prey on the weak so if you walk around with confidence then you will not appear weak.
When dealing with a potential threat or persistent pest always speak in a firm confident voice, especially if you have to say no. This lets the other person know that you are not afraid and mean business.
While walking turn around and look behind you occasionally  this makes it harder for anyone to sneak up on you. Try not to walk alone at night. Avoid walking in dark places such as poorly lit streets, alleyways or paths edged by tall thick bushes. In these places it is easy to be surprised by someone jumping out at you.
If you think you are being followed do not go home instead go to a crowded public place or a police station. If you go home then the person following you will find out where you live.
Wear long hair up or just have short hair as long hair is easy for someone to grab, especially from behind.
When choosing clothes always pick clothes that do not restrict your movement  tight jeans that do not allow you to raise your knee up to your waist will severely limit your kicking ability. Choose a bow tie or clip- on neck tie rather than a regular neck tie as a regular neck tie gives a potential attacker a convenient tool to strangle you with. Wear quiet shoes i.e. soft soled running shoes so if you have to run and hide you can do so quietly.
Carry a mobile phone with you whenever you go out so that you can call for help if needed.
When asking for directions always choose carefully who you ask  for instance do not go up and ask bunch of teenagers, as one unfortunate tourist did one day and got beaten up.
 When using the ATM turn around on occasion and look behind you. This lets any potential muggers know that you are aware and vigilant. If you think you are in danger then cancel your transaction and walk away. After withdrawing money put it away as quickly as practical  never advertise to potential muggers that you have lots of money to steal by counting your money out in the open for all to see.
Always park your car in a well lit non-isolated parking space. When approaching your car have your key in your hand so that you dont have to fumble around for them in an emergency and always check the back seat for intruders before you get in.
Never pick up hitchhikers, especially at night, as you dont know who you are picking up  they could be bad people or they could have others lying in wait to steal your car.
When entering a public building such as a restaurant or pub always take note of the entrances and exits so that you can make a quick escape if necessary. Look around the room and try to size up the people there for potential threats when you first arrive. If you have to sit at a booth try to sit on the outside so that you can easily get out if attacked or threatened, this also applies to busses and trains. If you are threatened and have to leave get a friend or one of the staff to distract the person so that you can leave peacefully.
 At home always keep your doors and windows locked when practical. Roller shutters are a good idea for home security  they make your home harder to break into. Keep all entrances well lit to shine the light on any potential intruders. Avoid allowing shrubbery to grow too high outside your windows as this gives prowlers a convenient hiding place.
Get a dog  large, loud and mean looking are good qualities to look for in a dog. This helps to keep burglars away. Even if your dog is friendly to everyone they still make noise when someone approaches your home. Dogs have great hearing and can serve as an early warning system for prowlers.
If you live alone do not advertise that fact by using your first name, Mrs, Ms, Miss or Mr on your letterbox or house or in the phonebook and never let strangers know that you are home alone. This gives burglars the idea that your house is an easy target until they find out the hard way that you know martial arts.
Never leave a key under your doormat, in the letterbox, under a rock or any other place that might be found by the wrong person  they can use it to gain easy access to your home. If you come home and find someone in your house do not go inside, instead call the police.
When you have just made an expensive new purchase e.g. Plasma TV, do not leave the empty box outside in your front yard for all to see as this is an advertisement to a burglar that you have something good for them to steal.
Use a touch lamp or one that turns on by clapping in your bedroom so if someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night you are not fumbling around looking for the on switch.
When professionals, such as electricians, installers and repairmen, come to your door always check and verify their credentials before letting them in to your house.
Always be on good terms with your neighbors so that you can go to them for help if necessary and also so that they do not think you are just a crazy stranger trying to gain access to their house.
When all else fails remember your martial arts training.


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## Cyriacus (Jun 2, 2013)

1: Yeah. A bit generalized, but yeah.
2: And confidence is another form of vulnerability. Someone who is comfortable in their own surroundings is more vulnerable than someone whos in an anxious hurry.
3: A firm confident voice can be provocative, causing conflict rather than avoiding it. A submissive voice can be provocative, causing conflict rather than avoiding it as well. A correction would be to base your tone of voice on the situation, rather than having a rule for using one particular tone.
4: Same as rule 1. Also, alleys are quite safe, really. Stuff rarely happens in alleys.
5: Sure. Id prefer to just find somewhere to let them pass me by so i can double back. Much simpler. But sure.
6: Your head itself is easy to grab. Hair just hurts more, but your head will still be dragged around easy enouch.
7: Optionally, learn to work low lines, rather than being dependent on non restrictive clothing.
8: Yep.
9: To be fair, groups of young men tend to be passive. Gauge it on where you are, more than anything else. Young men standing around a shop arent going to do anything. If theyre the only people in a long industrial street, thats different, and goes back to no. 1.
10: Ineffective. A mugger isnt exactly going to broadcast his intentions. All he needs to do is stroll down the sidewalk. Whether you see him or not would only affect the level of overkill. Hes already decided to mug you. Your awareness as he goes to do it wont be a deterrent, itll just make him concerned about leaving you able to walk. Generally.
11: Sure. Except us poor large town/city folks dont exactly get to pick and choose where we park our cars. Just sayin.
12: Agreed.
13: Its not just exits - Its also routes to them. Seeing the back door and figuring out in advance that tossing yourself over a tabletop will get you there faster can matter. Also, most threats wont look like threats. Theyll be doing what youre suggesting, and playing it safe.
14: Maybe. Im not gonna knock that. But most home invasions ive heard about recently have happened while the owners out.
15: Dogs are expensive. Thats an impractical suggestion 
16: They dont give a damn about your martial arts.
17: Agreed. Theres much better ways to hide a key.
18: Mm, maybe. Okay, ill agree.
19: Thatd also broadcast that you know theyre there. Thatll either deter them, or tell them exactly where that sob is, and how to get to them.
20: Yeah, but i mean, if theyre there, you probably ordered them in the first place.
21: Well, you dont need to be on good terms. Just dont be on bad terms and let them see you doing stuff, so they do know its *your* house. But yeah.
22: No comment. We, and others, have been over this. Im in helpful mode right now. I.e. im in a veritably helpful pleasant mood for the first time in about a month. 

Now, if you wanna do something productive, compound these down to less tips, and then make a guide to no. 1, because just giving it lip service does nothing for it.


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## K-man (Jun 2, 2013)

Mmm! I doubt I could remember all that. It's probably better to just move to Australia.


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 2, 2013)

K-man said:


> Mmm! I doubt I could remember all that. It's probably better to just move to Australia.



Just remember control c, control v, control p.


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## DennisBreene (Jun 3, 2013)

Carry a heavy guage pocket sized flash light with  a bright beam and a strobe beam. The strobe can help disorient an attacker and the flashlight itself can be used as a kubotan. It's also helpful when you drop your keys.


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## Zero (Jun 4, 2013)

18.  I actually think nbr 18 is good, I see quite a few such boxes put out with the trash, if I was an onto it crook I guess that could be advertising a nice pay day.
15.  Yeah, the dog one is nice but crazy. Why stop at one dog? Get 6 big mean crazy sons of bs, feed them steroids and human flesh, and have an aligator in the basement at all times.
19. I hate the touch lamp, particularly the clap-lamp, idea.  Often it may be better in a house/room/environment that you should be very familiar with to keep the lights out, despite intial instinct. The dark will be a negative for a home invader. Makes it harder to draw a bead on you or locate you or to determine how many of you there are (although normally I would expect no more than two in the marital bed...just saying...). You should be well versed in getting out of bed and acquiring your defense weapons in the dark as a basic. You should also be familiar with where the noises, ie the creaky stair, in your home are.


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 4, 2013)

If all else fails become a master thespian and act like a fricken Lunatic. @_@
On the other hand, it is not such a big stretch. Its a part that comes natural to me. 
Sean


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 5, 2013)

Cyriacus said:


> 7: Optionally, learn to work low lines, rather than being dependent on non restrictive clothing.


Striking low is good advice for self defence but as far as wearing non-restrictive clothing so you don't restrict your kicking ability goes - it's better to have the ability and not the inclination than the other way around. Besides if you can not lift your leg up past your knees because of the clothes you wear then you might not be able to jump over or climb over a fence or wall to get away if you need to.


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## Cyriacus (Jun 5, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Striking low is good advice for self defence but as far as wearing non-restrictive clothing so you don't restrict your kicking ability goes - it's better to have the ability and not the inclination than the other way around. *Besides if you can not lift your leg up past your knees because of the clothes you wear then you might not be able to jump over or climb over a fence or wall to get away if you need to.*



See now, that parts good advice. Just go with that. Because the only reason youd have an inclination to kick high is if youd convinced yourself it was a great idea  (Thats not a knock on doing it. I mean, if you have the range and you want to, whatever. Im not one to judge.)


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 5, 2013)

Personally I would not kick above the solar plexus in a real situation unless the situation warranted it, kicking high also includes kneeing in the head after pulling it down.


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## Cyriacus (Jun 5, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Personally I would not kick above the solar plexus in a real situation unless the situation warranted it, kicking high also includes kneeing in the head after pulling it down.



See now, im referring to the height of the kick, not the targetting. *shrugs*


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 6, 2013)

Cyriacus said:


> See now, im referring to the height of the kick, not the targetting. *shrugs*


Obviously I was referring to someone who is standing up.


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## Cyriacus (Jun 6, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Obviously I was referring to someone who is standing up.



I know you were. Im... unsure why you thought otherwise. Ill word it differently: You were referring to the height the kick goes, i was referring to low line targets on a standing person. Legs and hips, and the stuff extraneous to them. Like feet. If you pull someones head down, its still a high line target. Youre just making it possible (or easier, depending on context) to employ a low line strike on a high line target.

EDIT: In the name of humor, i dont suppose youve gotten so used to us not agreeing on stuff that you presumed i was disagreeing with you, did you?


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## Carol (Jun 6, 2013)

My #1 rule is to avoid the "3 stupids": 
Don't hang around stupid people, don't go to stupid places, don't do stupid things.

Will write more later when I'm off work -- that's an excellent list for discussion.


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## Touch Of Death (Jun 6, 2013)

Carol said:


> My #1 rule is to avoid the "3 stupids":
> Don't hang around stupid people, don't go to stupid places, don't do stupid things.
> 
> Will write more later when I'm off work -- that's an excellent list for discussion.


Work is a stupid place. That would explain all that work place violence.


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## Carol (Jun 6, 2013)

touch of death said:


> work is a stupid place. That would explain all that work place violence.



lol!!


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 6, 2013)

Touch Of Death said:


> Work is a stupid place. That would explain all that work place violence.



Maybe you need a new job.


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## Carol (Jun 6, 2013)

Don't answer your door unless you're expecting someone.  

Have your mailing address moved to a mail services center such as a Mail Boxes Etc. or UPS Store, and have that address printed on your license.  This way no one checking your ID will learn exactly where you live.

Don't use ATMs.  Go to the bank and give the tellers a chance to get to know you.  Take cash back from debit when buying groceries at a busy supermarket or drug store.


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## K-man (Jun 6, 2013)

Carol said:


> Have your mailing address moved to a mail services center such as a Mail Boxes Etc. or UPS Store, and have that address printed on your license.  This way no one checking your ID will learn exactly where you live.


Can you do that in the US? I would have thought it would invalidate your licence as primary ID. Then here it is only police that can demand to see your licence. Anyone else can only request.  :asian:


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## RTKDCMB (Jun 6, 2013)

K-man said:


> . Then here it is only police that can demand to see your licence. Anyone else can only request.  :asian:



I wonder if it is that way in Australia.


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## Carol (Jun 6, 2013)

K-man said:


> Can you do that in the US? I would have thought it would invalidate your licence as primary ID. Then here it is only police that can demand to see your licence. Anyone else can only request.  :asian:



It may vary from state to state, but I have been doing this for years without issue.   My identity does not change, and the fact that I receive mail at the address listed makes the address legitimate.   The registry of motor vehicles still has my physical address on file (I'm pretty sure LE can see it through their computer), and of course to get a license to begin with I still have to show appropriate proof of residency that demonstrates where in the state I physically live.


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## Carol (Jun 6, 2013)

The mail box service offers an added bonus -- there's always someone to sign for my packages and keep them safe until I can pick them up.  No sticky notes left on the door, no boxes left outside...


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## szorn (Jul 3, 2013)

Safety tips generally fall under the category of "awareness" which is one of the most important aspects to avoiding and escaping violence. However, THE most important aspect is having the appropriate Mind-Set, the mental preparation for dealing with violence. Those with the appropriate Mind-Set generally appear to be hard targets to the predators out there. Having the Mind-Set automatically increases levels of awareness but having awareness doesn't automatically give the person the appropriate Mind-Set. The Mind-Set has to come first. Unfortunately, Mind-Set is not like safety tips, we can't just give it to people. We can give them the proper steps to building that Mind-Set but they will have to make the decision to do it through those steps themselves.

Steve


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## Cyriacus (Jul 3, 2013)

szorn said:


> Safety tips generally fall under the category of "awareness" which is one of the most important aspects to avoiding and escaping violence. However, THE most important aspect is having the appropriate Mind-Set, the mental preparation for dealing with violence. Those with the appropriate Mind-Set generally appear to be hard targets to the predators out there. Having the Mind-Set automatically increases levels of awareness but having awareness doesn't automatically give the person the appropriate Mind-Set. The Mind-Set has to come first. Unfortunately, Mind-Set is not like safety tips, we can't just give it to people. We can give them the proper steps to building that Mind-Set but they will have to make the decision to do it through those steps themselves.
> 
> Steve



The other important aspect is giving more than lip service to awareness and deescalation, and understanding that someone who really wants to hurt you wont give you a chance in hell to be aware of them or talk them down. Then your mindset just becomes a self destructive cascade. ("ILL BE AWARE OF T..." suddenly sustaining injury from unknown source*)


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## DavidMoreland (Jul 6, 2013)

Thanks for sharing these entire post about Self -defence .Its a basic part each and every fighting art.Make your self defendent then attack only on your enemy.


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## Stickgrappler (Sep 17, 2013)

Hello:

*bows deeply*

I posted Kelly McCann's List of PIN's (Pre-Incident Indicators) (and the full chapter of his book) to my site awhile ago. Went on vacation and got back and busy with work. My sincerest apologies for not posting here earlier. Any PIN is meant as a sign of potential trouble and hopefully you are aware of the PIN and deal accordingly with the situation at hand.

Here is the list:

*PREINCIDENT INDICATORS 
*

Unnatural impediment to your movement
Correlation of someone's movement to your own.
Any sudden change in a person's status as you get near or pass them.
Predatory movements (circling, two or more people moving in opposite directions, etc.)
Any verbal exchange initiated by a stranger
Target glancing
Persons closing on you from an oblique angle that intersects with your path.
A hand hidden that causes unnatural movement by someone as they walk toward you.
Bumps, shoves, pushes or grabs
Relative absence of other people or authorities
Automobiles stopping alongside you or slightly to the front or rear as you walk along
Any obvious intoxicated person
Any second pass of a vehicle
Obvious attempts at baiting you
Glances between strangers as they approach, impede, hail or otherwise interact with you
The calmest-appearing individual in a verbal altercation; not always the guy in your face

He discusses further each PIN in the chapter I transcribed here:

http://www.stickgrappler.net/2013/09/kelly-mccann-spotting-trouble-before-it.html


Hope this helps! Stay aware and safe!!

Very truly yours in the MA and SD,
~sg


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## Stickgrappler (Sep 17, 2013)

DennisBreene said:


> Carry a heavy guage pocket sized flash light with a bright beam and a strobe beam. The strobe can help disorient an attacker and the flashlight itself can be used as a kubotan. It's also helpful when you drop your keys.



Another option is to tie some cord around the middle and use the mini-flashlight like the "eda koppo", also called "koppo stick". More secure with your middle and ring fingers in so you won't lose grip on the flashlight.


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## RTKDCMB (Sep 17, 2013)

Stickgrappler said:


> Hello:
> 
> *bows deeply*
> 
> ...


A lot of those you will pick up almost instinctively.


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## Stickgrappler (Sep 17, 2013)

Hello:

Although one may pick up instinctively some of these PINs most may ignore that instinct, that gut feeling... Gavin DeBecker discusses this in his book The Gift of Fear.  

We as students of Self-Defense have to learn not to ignore our instincts. 

-sg


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## pgsmith (Sep 17, 2013)

Cyriacus said:
			
		

> Now, if you wanna do something productive, compound these down to less tips, and then make a guide to no. 1, because just giving it lip service does nothing for it.



  Compounding them down is simple ...

1) Don't be stupid!

  Every self defence situation that I am familiar with (at least here in Texas) can be traced back to someone doing something stupid. In the immortal words of Mr. Miyagi ... "Best defence is no be there!"


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## Stickgrappler (Sep 18, 2013)

pgsmith said:


> Compounding them down is simple ...
> 
> 1) Don't be stupid!
> 
> Every self defence situation that I am familiar with (at least here in Texas) can be traced back to someone doing something stupid. In the immortal words of Mr. Miyagi ... "Best defence is no be there!"



The Three S's! 

avoid Stupid people at Stupid places doing Stupid things (sometimes a fourth S is added namely "... at Stupid times")


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## Carol (Sep 18, 2013)

Carry a pickaxe for trail work on your shoulder when hiking alone.  Trust me, no one will mess with you


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