# Light Bulbs



## Rob_Broad (Mar 7, 2002)

How many 9th degree Black Belts does it take to change a light bulb.  

10.  1 to change it and 9 others to complain thatis not the way Master Parker taught them.


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## Rob_Broad (Mar 7, 2002)

How many 10th degree Black Belts does it take to change a ight bulb?

None, it is a 9th degree's job.


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## Yari (Mar 7, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Rob_Broad _
> 
> *How many 10th degree Black Belts does it take to change a ight bulb?
> 
> None, it is a 9th degree's job. *



None... they can see and fight in the dark.......¨

 


/Yari


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## Rob_Broad (Mar 7, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Yari _
> 
> *
> 
> ...



Sometimes that is true, but usually because they are blinded by their own limelight.


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## Kirk (Mar 7, 2002)

> _ Originally Posted By: Rob Broad _
> How many 10th degree Black Belts does it take to change a light bulb?
> 
> None, it is a 9th degree's job.



If a kenpo white belt does it,  

- 1 blackbelt to tell him to keep his elbow down when he does it.
- 1 2nd deg b.b. to remind him to check with the other hand
- 1 1 Tracy kenpoist to show him 5 other ways to screw it in
- 1 Greenbelt to quote the Infinite Insights In Lightbulb Screwing
- 1 Self acclaimed Grandmaster of XYZ Kenpo to tell him how his
     method of lightbulb screwing in is ineffective
- 1 Chung Moo student to talk about how he knows the best way
      to screw in a light bulb over anyone else, but can't show you
      cause it's too deadly to the socket.  He frequently tells stories
      of how "Iron" Kim once put screwed in a thousand lightbulbs
      in under a minute.


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## Yari (Mar 8, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> 
> *
> 
> ...



You forgot 1.....

Doing it with out hands!


/Yari


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## tonbo (Apr 8, 2002)

....if you are an intermediate ranking.....

     --at least one higher belt telling you to try it on the "left" side
     --now try it while you have someone breaking your concentration....
     --now do it in full gear
     --yes, but can you change it while sparring?
     --no, only the "ideal phase" says you can use a chair, this is the "what if" phase....
     --okay, there's the "test" way, and the "individual" way...do it the "test" way, unless you are out on the street....
     --"What's the defense against someone changing a lightbulb?"

    Hehe......more to come, if I get any more ideas from class.. 

Peace--


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## Seig (Apr 19, 2002)

None....he forgot to pay the electric bill and the bulb is not the problem


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## Stickboxer (Apr 19, 2002)

Q: How many martial artists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
All  A: 100.  One to do it and 99 to tell him he's not qualified.
Eskrima  A: 100.  One to do it and 99 to say he stole their technique.
Karate  A: 100. One to do it and 99 to say they don't think people would really carry light bulbs.
Gung Ho  A:  100.  One to do it and 99 to say UFC lights are better.
BJJ  A:  100.  One to do it and 99 to say that lights on the ground would be better.
Kung Fu  A:  100.  One to do it and 99 to tell him to screw the bulb left and right to sync the Yin and Yang.
Aikido  A:  100. One to do it and 99 to tell him to become one with the light bulb.
Wing Chun  A: 100.  One to do it and 99 to tell him to use more economical bulbs.
Ninjitsu  A:  Who needs lights?


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## tonbo (Apr 19, 2002)

Zen light bulb jokes, for those of you who have Zen as part of the practice.....

Q:  How many zen students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  Two.  One to change the lightbulb, and one to NOT change the lightbulb.


Q:  How many zen MASTERS does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  Tree in the Golden Forest.


Peace--


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## Kirk (Apr 19, 2002)

How many fat, redneck newbie kenpoists does it take?

Just one, (me).  But I'll create a thread about it on here,
and get the opinion of kenpoists all around the world as
to the multiple variations of screwing it in, just to feed my
morbid curiosity


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## Rich Parsons (Apr 19, 2002)

You can only change the light bulb ...

If and only If it really wants to change on its'
own
:rofl: 

Rich


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## Seig (Apr 20, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> 
> *How many fat, redneck newbie kenpoists does it take?
> 
> Til you said newbie, I thought you knew me......*


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## deadhand31 (May 1, 2002)

how many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

it can't be done.. it's hardware.


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## Kirk (May 1, 2002)

> _Originally posted by deadhand31 _
> 
> *how many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> 
> it can't be done.. it's hardware. *




You damned right!


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## migo (May 1, 2002)

Sure you can, hack into the electrical company's computers. Start alternating the electrical current so it creats a polar magnetic field and the light bulb will align itself float up and screw itself in.


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## Cthulhu (May 2, 2002)

But all magnetic fields are dipole...there isn't a magnetic monopole.



Cthulhu


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## migo (May 2, 2002)

You only have to make the computer think it is.


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