# Martial Artist Joke



## PhotonGuy (Oct 20, 2014)

This is a joke I once read in a martial arts magazine.

Q: How many martial artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One hundred and one. One to change it and a hundred to say they could've done it better.

As it is, I don't think that's all that far from the truth.


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## donald1 (Oct 20, 2014)

They say if your in martial arts long enough you eventually you'll have symptoms 
Possible symptoms; 
- Breaking furniture 
-  using only strikes to open or close doors 
- often telling people to do pushups 
- using a hammer fist instead of actual hammer 
- sleep with atleast one weapon each night
- at restaurants use a chop(knife)  finger strike(fork)  
- constant sparring,  even if there's nobody there 
- always in some sort of stance or transition in between stances


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## Kung Fu Wang (Oct 20, 2014)

A female boxer challenged a female CMA girl. The female CMA girl accepted. When they meet during the "high noon", the female boxer brought her boxing gloves, the CMA girl brought her Guan Dao.


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## PhotonGuy (Oct 20, 2014)

donald1 said:


> They say if your in martial arts long enough you eventually you'll have symptoms
> Possible symptoms;
> - Breaking furniture
> -  using only strikes to open or close doors
> ...



The one about often telling people to do pushups, that sounds more like a symptom of being in the military long enough but aside from that I will add one
-using your foot to flush the toilet.


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## TwentyThree (Oct 28, 2014)




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## Transk53 (Oct 28, 2014)

PhotonGuy said:


> The one about often telling people to do pushups, that sounds more like a symptom of being in the military long enough but aside from that I will add one
> -using your foot to flush the toilet.



You know what, not ex military and what not, but I actually do that.


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## donald1 (Oct 29, 2014)

speaking about military... whats the difference between a drill sergeant and a mother in law; eventually the drill sergeant is going to yell at someone else...

whats do sarcasm and an angry instructor :whip: have in common, you will never see it coming


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## Marnetmar (Nov 12, 2014)

PhotonGuy said:


> The one about often telling people to do pushups, that sounds more like a symptom of being in the military long enough but aside from that I will add one
> -using your foot to flush the toilet.



I am incredibly guilty of this 

Sometimes I use my foot for light switches too.


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## Blindside (Nov 12, 2014)

PhotonGuy said:


> The one about often telling people to do pushups, that sounds more like a symptom of being in the military long enough but aside from that I will add one
> -using your foot to flush the toilet.



That isn't weird, that is normal behavior in a public restroom.


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## Touch Of Death (Nov 13, 2014)

Blindside said:


> That isn't weird, that is normal behavior in a public restroom.


Isn't that a Kenpo saying? "Never lift your foot unless it is to kick, or flush the toilet in public restroom"


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## donald1 (Nov 25, 2014)

sensei's guids to injuries:
-twisted ankle?
walk it off.
-broken wrist?
walk it off.
-internal bleeding?
walk it off.


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## PhotonGuy (May 17, 2015)

donald1 said:


> -  using only strikes to open or close doors


You mean like this?


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## Orange Lightning (May 17, 2015)

donald1 said:


> They say if your in martial arts long enough you eventually you'll have symptoms
> Possible symptoms;
> - Breaking furniture
> -  using only strikes to open or close doors
> ...



Extremely guilty of all of these. 

I have a lame addition.

- kicking the hackisack way too hard, in sometimes hilariously fantastic ways. Insert jumping spinning whatever here.


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## NinjaChristian (Apr 13, 2016)

I hung a piece of something on a string attached to the ceiling. Then as my mom walked by I said "Hey mom, watch this!" then did an inside to outside crescent kick above my head level, hitting the target. *CRASH!* perfect axe kick, destroying the back of my mom's oak chair. This was my first day wearing glasses.


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## Buka (Apr 13, 2016)




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## Tames D (Apr 13, 2016)

A Priest, Rabbi and Martial Artist walk into a bar...


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## Ironbear24 (Apr 26, 2016)

Your sensei is so stupid, he sits on the tv and watches the sofa. 

Your sifu is so fat, he was born on all of the zodiac signs.


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## donald1 (Apr 27, 2016)

If you think about the old masters like; ryu ryu ko,  Li Laoneng, kanryo higaonna, gichin funakoshi... ect.  If these guys were so smart, how come they never made videos on youtube or posts on facebook. They would be facebook celebrities.  If they were smart one of them might have become a film director and made cool ninja movies but they let Hollywood do it instead...


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