# I have committed a sin ...



## shesulsa (Mar 5, 2007)

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys, girls and everyone else out there ...

I have an important announcement to make.

I have done it.  Regrettably, heart-rippingly, gut-wrenchingly, with the sound of my entire being ripped into shreds, sounding the shriek of the damned and unforgiven ... I have done it.

I ...

have given up ...

coffee.

That's right.  Java.  Joe.  Cappucino, Frappucino, espresso, mocha.  That good old swift kick-in-the-pants that got me going in the morning and kept me going all day.

Gone.

I had white tea with breakfast this morning.

:shrug:

Do you have any idea how absolutely disheartening it was?  Oh, and did I mention that caffeine is addictive?  I'm jonesing SOO BAAD right now for some coffee I can't stand it.

This is how bad it is:  I thought I smelled coffee coming from my oldest son's room.  He's not supposed to have caffeine.  I burst into his room after all children were gone this morning to find a canister of Hills Brothers instant Double Fudge Mocha Cappucino mix tucked into the corner of his room covered by some blankets.

I'm seriously considering making some, but I have no idea what else he might have put in it.  Then again, I'm not so sure I care anymore.

Now, I've done this many times before.  In fact, I think I'd need the fingers and toes of the entire staff plus a few members to count how many times I've done this ... but I'm coming out now in an effort to gallantly brave the coming detoxification and soon-to-be crabbiness.

So ... pray for me ... drive me to a meeting ... be my sponsor ... what the hell else?  Oh yeah - can you make me a cup of coffee?

:tantrum:


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## Carol (Mar 5, 2007)

I'll pray for you but I don't think I can be your sponsor given that I still have the addiction


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## Brian R. VanCise (Mar 5, 2007)

I will pray for you as well.  You are entering the Forbidden Zone and will need all the help you can get. :erg:


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## exile (Mar 5, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen, boys, girls and everyone else out there ...
> 
> I have an important announcement to make.
> 
> ...



But _why_, Shesulsa? I don't want to undermine your program or anything, and I've no beans to grind, so to speak, on the issue because my caffeine-fix-of-choice is weapons-grade Darjeeling or English Breakfast TeaI've never drunk coffeebut... the last info I've seen on the subject suggests that coffee is _good_ for youspecifically good for your cardiopulmonary system, i.e., good for your heart and helps protect you against strokes.


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## CoryKS (Mar 5, 2007)

You... are dead to me.

Seriously though, good luck.  It's a hard habit to break.  Depending on your usage, expect a few days of migraine-level headaches and a week or so of lethargy.  The last time I quit, I was going to bed around 7pm every night.  :asian:


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## shesulsa (Mar 5, 2007)

I was raised by southerners.  Pre-WWII, when they grew up, as soon as you were old enough to sit up in a high chair, you were fed what everyone else got, only softer.  So when they raised me, as soon as I was able to pour my own cereal (five years), I found a cup of coffee sitting next to it.  A lot of cream, a lot of sugar and I was good to GO!

So that means I've been drinking a cup a day minimum for 36 years.  It will be tough to break, but I've done it before for long periods.  I'd just like to be rid of it as a regular habit again.


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## Jade Tigress (Mar 5, 2007)

Oh my. You're a stronger woman than I. Good luck, and I'll just keeping to myself around you for the time being.


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## tellner (Mar 5, 2007)

...not to mention mild fits of psychotic rage (or at least severe crankiness) for a while.

I had to give up caffeine for medical reasons. It took about two weeks to dry out. The last time my wife was trying to conceive she gave it up and took the opportunity to stay off it except for tea.

Good luck. After the first couple weeks it isn't so bad.


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

I....I...I...I just don't know what to say to you....:uhohh:

I am not even sure we can still be friends...:idunno:

I need time and space to think how this will effect our friendship...OMG...my world is being turned upside down.. I am lost.


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## Carol (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> I....I...I...I just don't know what to say to you....:uhohh:
> 
> I am not even sure we can still be friends...:idunno:
> 
> I need time and space to think how this will effect our friendship...OMG...my world is being turned upside down.. I am lost.





You can still drink coffee with me, Lisa


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## zDom (Mar 5, 2007)

Yea  what Exile said.... _WHY?_

Why not the "in moderation" route?


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> You can still drink coffee with me, Lisa



Thank God!  Someone who still has some sense! :lfao:


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## dubljay (Mar 5, 2007)

Shesulsa you and I are on the same path.  I'm trying to quit caffeine, I've become too dependant upon it.  A cup (big cup) of coffee before work.  At least one soda or energy drink while at work, followed by another large cup o' joe before school after I get off work. 


I've about managed to break the soda habbit, except for last night I was weak and had some with dinner :whip:

I'm slowly but surely trying to quit the coffee.  Though it doesnt help when I get to work in the morning and my manager asks 'do you want coffee this morning?'   How does one say no when someone else is buying!


I'm taking it just one day at a time.  *twitch*  I think *twitch*  I'll be okay.

*twitch*


I hope....

*twitch*

May god have mercy on our souls, Shesulsa


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## crushing (Mar 5, 2007)

Coffee?  I never really got the whole gotta have coffee thing.  Given the subject line I was hoping for some juicier reading.  The confession started out sounding like Jimmy Swaggert, but then turned into giving up bean juice.


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## Tames D (Mar 5, 2007)

It's easy to quit drinking coffee. I quit and now I'm a diet coke freak...


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## Ninjamom (Mar 5, 2007)

zDom said:


> Why not the "in moderation" route?


Are you kidding????!?  Now that she quit, she's going to come after all of us, telling us why WE should quit, too!


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## tellner (Mar 5, 2007)

For those of you who are still guzzling from The Devil's Cup I would like to recommend something so evil, so sinful, so loaded with life-giving caffeine that you will fall down on your knees and curse the Shadhiliya for bringing the cursed bean out of Africa and hold out your bowls for more. 

The Indonesians call it _Kopih Tarik_, White Coffee. It's regular coffee beans, but they are only roasted until they're slightly yellow, just past green. Once you've had some you'll realize that even the best coffee you had before was burned. The liquor is lighter, almost yellow. The taste is more like a nut. If you've ever had barley tea it's similar. You can drink it like it was water. There's none of the bitterness or alkaloid taste of roasted coffee. And it has 2-3 times the caffeine of your regular cuppa Joe. 

The roaster I get it from uses only certified Organic beans to avoid risks to customers from pesticides and fertilizers that might be destroyed in the regular roasting process but would be on the unprocessed product. He also says that the yellow beans are hard and will tear up a home burr grinder.


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## Bigshadow (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> I....I...I...I just don't know what to say to you....:uhohh:
> 
> I am not even sure we can still be friends...:idunno:
> 
> I need time and space to think how this will effect our friendship...OMG...my world is being turned upside down.. I am lost.



I will have coffee with you too!  But I wont be staying for dinner and chianti.


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## zDom (Mar 5, 2007)

tellner said:


> For those of you who are still guzzling from The Devil's Cup I would like to recommend something so evil, so sinful, so loaded with life-giving caffeine that you will fall down on your knees and curse the Shadhiliya for bringing the cursed bean out of Africa and hold out your bowls for more.
> 
> The Indonesians call it _Kopih Tarik_, White Coffee. It's regular coffee beans, but they are only roasted until they're slightly yellow, just past green. Once you've had some you'll realize that even the best coffee you had before was burned. The liquor is lighter, almost yellow. The taste is more like a nut. If you've ever had barley tea it's similar. You can drink it like it was water. There's none of the bitterness or alkaloid taste of roasted coffee. And it has 2-3 times the caffeine of your regular cuppa Joe.
> 
> The roaster I get it from uses only certified Organic beans to avoid risks to customers from pesticides and fertilizers that might be destroyed in the regular roasting process but would be on the unprocessed product. He also says that the yellow beans are hard and will tear up a home burr grinder.



Hrmph. I prefer the dark roasts, thanks


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> I will have coffee with you too!  But I wont be staying for dinner and chianti.




Why not?  We are having liver and fava beans....mmmmm...mmmm...good


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## Bigshadow (Mar 5, 2007)

zDom said:


> Hrmph. I prefer the dark roasts, thanks



Dude you rock!   Dark roast is King!


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## Bigshadow (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> Why not?  We are having liver and fava beans....mmmmm...mmmm...good




Oh I dunno....    Maybe it is something about that mask that I find rather disturbing!   You don't wear that to dinner do you?


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> Oh I dunno....    Maybe it is something about that mask that I find rather disturbing!   You don't wear that to dinner do you?



No, it gets in the way....


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## Bob Hubbard (Mar 5, 2007)

My doctor once told me to give up caffeine. I told her to get stuffed.
I drink 16-32 oz of tea a day. Every day. Most of the varieties don't come in a 'decaf' version, and I firmly believe that the health benefits of tea drinking far outweigh any negatives.

On occasion, I'll have some cappuccino or espresso.


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## exile (Mar 5, 2007)

Bob Hubbard said:


> My doctor once told me to give up caffeine. I told her to get stuffed.
> I drink 16-32 oz of tea a day. Every day.



Yes. Yes. Yes.

I have a huge blue teapot that I stuff to the gunwhales with the blackest, most toxically tannic and caffeine-loaded tea I can get my hands on, stuff that takes porceline layers off the inside of the mugs I drink it out of. And then I can tear merrily through the day without even once feeling the fatigue that my really lousy sleep cycle would otherwise lead to. The end of caffeine would be the end of the world as we/I know it...






Bob Hubbard said:


> Most of the varieties don't come in a 'decaf' version, and I firmly believe that the health benefits of tea drinking far outweigh any negatives.



Amen. Tea has so much good stuff in it that it would be ridiculously perverse for the caffeine it contains to be bad for you. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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## shesulsa (Mar 5, 2007)

tellner said:


> For those of you who are still guzzling from The Devil's Cup I would like to recommend something so evil, so sinful, so loaded with life-giving caffeine that you will fall down on your knees and curse the Shadhiliya for bringing the cursed bean out of Africa and hold out your bowls for more.
> 
> The Indonesians call it _Kopih Tarik_, White Coffee. It's regular coffee beans, but they are only roasted until they're slightly yellow, just past green. Once you've had some you'll realize that even the best coffee you had before was burned. The liquor is lighter, almost yellow. The taste is more like a nut. If you've ever had barley tea it's similar. You can drink it like it was water. There's none of the bitterness or alkaloid taste of roasted coffee. And it has 2-3 times the caffeine of your regular cuppa Joe.
> 
> The roaster I get it from uses only certified Organic beans to avoid risks to customers from pesticides and fertilizers that might be destroyed in the regular roasting process but would be on the unprocessed product. He also says that the yellow beans are hard and will tear up a home burr grinder.


WHY did you have to tell me that?


			
				Lisa said:
			
		

> I....I...I...I just don't know what to say to you....:uhohh:
> 
> I am not even sure we can still be friends...:idunno:
> 
> I need time and space to think how this will effect our friendship...OMG...my world is being turned upside down.. I am lost.


If I drink Postum and lie to you and tell you I'm drinking coffee, will that be okay?  They smell the same over the internet. :lol2:


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## tellner (Mar 5, 2007)

I told you because I am evil. 

You could always try *shudder* de-caf.


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## Cryozombie (Mar 5, 2007)

tellner said:


> You could always try *shudder* de-caf.



I switched to D-calf for a while, but there is somthing evil about the flavor... its not the same... 

But then again, it could be because I was drinking cheap diner coffee at the time... but... well... yeah...

I have to try and find some white coffee.  My uncles coffee company doesnt sell it, so I have to go and *gasp* buy some coffee.


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> If I drink Postum and lie to you and tell you I'm drinking coffee, will that be okay?  They smell the same over the internet. :lol2:



Excellent!  Our friendship can be based on a lie caused by a little bean!  It will have such depth and meaning! :lfao:


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## Drac (Mar 5, 2007)

Cryozombie said:


> I switched to D-calf for a while,


 
Why drink hot colored water...


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## terryl965 (Mar 5, 2007)

Damm now she is going to turn into Lisa, watch out everybody another chewy on the war path


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## Drac (Mar 5, 2007)

Ninjamom said:


> Are you kidding????!? Now that she quit, she's going to come after all of us, telling us why WE should quit, too!


 
You can have my coffee when you can pry it from my cold dead hands..All this talk of coffee has made me thirsty...Time for some Kona Coffee..


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

terryl965 said:


> Damm now she is going to turn into Lisa, watch out everybody another chewy on the war path



There is now and ever shall be only one true chew.   However, since Geo and I are close, he could be instructed by her to do her bidding.


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## terryl965 (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> There is now and ever shall be only one true chew.  However, since Geo and I are close, he could be instructed by her to do her bidding.


 

You will aways be the original and I'm sure she will take you up on that offer


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## shesulsa (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> Excellent!  Our friendship can be based on a lie caused by a little bean!  It will have such depth and meaning! :lfao:


I thought it was because I was your sun, your beam of light in the midst of glowering darkness, your reason for living and breathing ... but now I see I was just nearby when you were saying those things lovingly to the nearest can of Folgers.

:vu::miffer:


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## Bob Hubbard (Mar 5, 2007)

Always 2 there are........


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> I thought it was because I was your sun, your beam of light in the midst of glowering darkness, your reason for living and breathing ... but now I see I was just nearby when you were saying those things lovingly to the nearest can of Folgers.
> 
> :vu::miffer:



Oh puhlease...timmy's honey, never folgers  :lfao:


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## Lisa (Mar 5, 2007)

Bob Hubbard said:


> Always 2 there are........



two what, bob? :angel:


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## Kacey (Mar 5, 2007)

I have a confession... I've never liked coffee.  I do drink diet Coke, but since I like to have the kind that comes in the 16 oz bottles, I'll nurse the same one for hours...


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## Bob Hubbard (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> two what, bob? :angel:


No comment


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Mar 5, 2007)

**Insert Scottish accent about here** Tea and coke are for wussies and women! Real men (trilled "R" in "real") quaff the nasty, foul-smelling, addictive black bean of death! **End Accent**

I don't start my day without coffee first...brewed, strong. When I have mistakenly, stoopidly tried to stall the inevitably of bean, I've achieved raging headache status the likes of which not even the gods have seen before.

Quitting coffee??? Stupid, nasssty, horrible idea (gollum).

What?! (Who said that?)

:caffeine:


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## zDom (Mar 5, 2007)

Drac said:


> ...Time for some Kona Coffee..



Ahh... you drink the GOOD stuff 

Making due with Colombian Supremo at the moment ...

Ever had Blue Mountain Jamaican? Pricey, but GOOOOOOOOOD

But on the taste-per-buck scale, Kona is a better value. Almost as good as Kona but not quite as pricey, last time I checked.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Mar 5, 2007)

Jamaican Blue Mountain Mocha made with organic dark chocolate.....mmm...:fanboy:


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## bluemtn (Mar 5, 2007)

Lisa said:


> I....I...I...I just don't know what to say to you....:uhohh:
> 
> I am not even sure we can still be friends...:idunno:
> 
> I need time and space to think how this will effect our friendship...OMG...my world is being turned upside down.. I am lost.


 

I'd drink coffee with you Lisa, but too much of that stuff will have me running around in circles for the rest of the night.  How about a nice cup of hot chocolate, or tea?


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## Flatlander (Mar 6, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> I ...
> 
> have given up ...
> 
> coffee.


So, how's it going so far?  Still off of that beautiful, heavenly, aromatic, warm, caring, nurturing, first thing in the morning, dark, succulent, caressing, broth of comforting embrace?


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## Drac (Mar 6, 2007)

Flatlander said:


> So, how's it going so far? Still off of that beautiful, heavenly, aromatic, warm, caring, nurturing, first thing in the morning, dark, succulent, caressing, broth of comforting embrace?


 
Dude, that was cold...LOLOL..


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## Touch Of Death (Mar 6, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen, boys, girls and everyone else out there ...
> 
> I have an important announcement to make.
> 
> ...


Nobody likes a quitter!:uhyeah:


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## Lisa (Mar 6, 2007)

Flatlander said:


> So, how's it going so far?  Still off of that beautiful, heavenly, aromatic, warm, caring, nurturing, first thing in the morning, dark, succulent, caressing, broth of comforting embrace?





Drac said:


> Dude, that was cold...LOLOL..



no...that was beautiful, man.

:bow:


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## shesulsa (Mar 7, 2007)

Don't kid yourself, Dan. She's a Jezebel - deceitful, dark, conniving.  

And yes, I am still off of it.


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## exile (Mar 7, 2007)

Bob Hubbard said:


> Always 2 there are........





Bob Hubbard said:


> Lisa said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Whoa, dude&#8212;that's too dark for _me!_

Lisa, if I'm not mistaken, Bob has just identified you with Darth Sidious, the evil Sith Lord (of whom there are always two, master and apprentice, at any time) and evil Emperor of the Galactic Empire, and Shesulsa with Darth Vader; or maybe Shesulsa is Darth Sidious and you are Darth Vader... in either case, if I'm right you are both Darths, and very dangerous you are. I can only hope he meant something else... but I don't think so...


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## Drac (Mar 7, 2007)

Drac said:


> Time for some Kona Coffee..


 


zDom said:


> Ahh... you drink the GOOD stuff
> 
> Making due with Colombian Supremo at the moment ..


 
One of the ladies at the theatre introduced me to Kona coffee years ago, and I shall be forever grateful..Never tried Columbian Supremo, so I will next time I go shopping..Thanks for the tip..


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## shesulsa (Mar 7, 2007)

Well, today I'm nauseous and have a roaring headache .. and neckache ... and body ache. In fact, I'm rather certain I am going through withdrawals, even detox, maybe.


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## Flatlander (Mar 7, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Don't kid yourself, Dan. She's a Jezebel - deceitful, dark, conniving.


Perhaps, but she knows how to please and how to keep me on my knees.


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## tellner (Mar 7, 2007)

All kidding aside, you _*are*_ going through withdrawal. Coffee is an addictive drug. Caffeine is only one of the active ingredients. It will take a couple weeks to get through it. But you will emerge out the other side without that particular monkey on your back.

Hang in there!


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## Shaderon (Mar 7, 2007)

I have an admission to make, I know this will make me an outcast amongst you but I am.....

*gulp*

I am caffeine free.  *hangs head*

I gave up caffinated coffee years ago after I found out that coffee irritates the mucus membranes and as I have problems with mine (you really DON'T want to know) I tried it.  I halved the severity of my chest infections as soon as I got past the withdrawal symptoms.  Now I don't take an hour to get going in the morning, I don't have them ups and downs caffeine causes and I don't crave coffee.     I drink de-caff coffee AND tea, get the right make and you really can't tell the difference, I've sprung it on friends and they can't tell!  Honest!

Shesulsa, you are doing the right thing!  Stick with it!


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## Drac (Mar 7, 2007)

tellner said:


> All kidding aside, you _*are*_ going through withdrawal. Coffee is an addictive drug. Caffeine is only one of the active ingredients. It will take a couple weeks to get through it. But you will emerge out the other side without that particular monkey on your back.Hang in there!


 


Shaderon said:


> I have an admission to make, I know this will make me an outcast amongst you but I am.....
> 
> *gulp*I am caffeine free. *hangs head*


 
I cannot imagine starting a day with an excellent cup or a Coke..I give you both credit..


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## Bob Hubbard (Mar 7, 2007)

1 large frapichino, with 4 shots in it please?


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## Bigshadow (Mar 7, 2007)

Shaderon said:


> I drink de-caff coffee AND tea, get the right make and you really can't tell the difference, I've sprung it on friends and they can't tell!  Honest!




I can tell the difference.  Give me about 30 minutes after drinking it and I will be able to tell the difference.


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## zDom (Mar 7, 2007)

tellner said:


> All kidding aside, you _*are*_ going through withdrawal. Coffee is an addictive drug. Caffeine is only one of the active ingredients. It will take a couple weeks to get through it. But you will emerge out the other side without that particular monkey on your back.
> 
> Hang in there!



Pffft. The trick is to USE the drug without ABUSING the drug 

Then it won't abuse you!


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## IcemanSK (Mar 7, 2007)

You will be ok, m'dear. Just keep away from the gun closet for awhile:ultracool


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## hong kong fooey (Mar 11, 2007)

congrats on giving up coffee. hope the best for you. I know I could never give up coffee.


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## shesulsa (Mar 11, 2007)

Lisa said:


> There is now and ever shall be only one true chew.   However, since Geo and I are close, he could be instructed by her to do her bidding.


ooOOOOOOoooo ... Chew at my bidding ... wooooww!!!  *eyes glint with the prospects of universal domination*

Well, peeps, the last few days have been rough.  I'm still going through some withdrawal.  I think part of the problem is how much I have to doctor up my coffee - LOTS of cream and sugar ... so the old man thinks I'm going through a triple withdrawal - from caffeine, from cream and from sugar.  He's prolly right, cuz I feel like ****.

Still! No coffee, tho!


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## Brian R. VanCise (Mar 11, 2007)

Congratulations Shesulsa!


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## aedrasteia (Mar 11, 2007)

for S. enjoy vicariously

just so you can remember .... or plan

several years ago I had the luck to visit Jamaica to live for 2 weeks, not at a resort, but at the home owned by a friend's relative, in the hills above montego bay (Ironshore area if you know it). We had several people who worked at the house and became our friends, taking us around the area, visiting in their communities, going to church with them, a blessing all around. One man had a car and we took a trip - all day - up to the Blue Mountains, to visit a guest house in the process of being built with the hopes to attract some tourists to stay awhile. On a cool, cloudy day, the bamboo stands of 75 feet and more were shrouded in mist. We traveled up and up again as the road shrank to a narrow path and the trees grew impossibly taller and more beautiful, darker green to deep blue. 

At the end of the track, the car stopped in front of a partially completed 2 story house, just above a coffee tree grove. The people there were growing on land they owned, working hard to keep their co-operative alive by roasting beans as they were harvested and selling the freshly roastyed glossy mollases colored beans to people who were willing to climb high to find them. My friend had come prepared, with a satchel and bags to bring the coffee home. She bought over 100 ponds. I thinlk it is still legal to bring in that much for personal consumption. I was able to carry about 50 lbs home.

There was no sound there, it was a cloudy and mistly day, only someone's radio picking up faint reggae on the radio from Kingston. A wind washing through bamboo so tall it seemed my eyes were unable to translate the deep blue/green flowing 75 feet or more.

In side the building the ground floor held a roughly finished kitchen with a propane fueled stove. Not a pot but an enormous enameled blue kettle held the coffee, cooked every morning. At least a gallon of deep, rich dark and sweet (without sugar), the grounds settled to the bottom, the cups at hand, we used a dipper to fill them. milk, evaporated or the thick sweet condensed the growers loved, if you needed it. it was like a song, so many flavors like music. i took mine untouched, tho i usually add milk, and carried a cup i can only call perfumed, around the building to the covered shed where the roaster and barrels were placed, to watch the young men who watched the day's roast, as they bagged it for us, smiling faintly and offering us splifs of herb rolled from torn brown paper bags.

the unroasted beans, in large burlap bags, some ready to be shipped to distributors, were piled along the wall. Only a bit was roasted each day. I still dream of the smell and can't find the words to tell you how rich and sweet it was. The young men and families talked about keeping their land and trees, some planted by fathers and grandfathers. impossible to avoid the politics or the smell of the beans turing darker as they roasted it slowly. We stayed for a long time, talking and smoking and drinking the deepest, sweetest coffe i'll ever find. they laughed a little at our happiness with the coffee, talking politics of coffee growing and selling, wondering if the herb would ever be legal to sell to make some money they desperately needed. They were generous and funny and loved the coffee they offered us.

I think i paid $7 a pound and gave all the $ i had with me. once home i gave lots away, saving it for special times. when we brewed the last of the blue mountain we'd brought from there we saluted the fine people and their hillside trees. i buy it when I can but try to only bring home shade-grown, from co-ops that are owned by people who grow. it seems like the least we can do for the ones who were so generous to us. 

i still love the smell, no matter whose it is, but i'm spoiled. the smell of that kettle doesn't leave me. letting go of it is fine. maybe possible now to take it as a 'great mana' a powerful gift... once a month or season or yearly. like everything, when we have it only seldom, perhaps we can see and smell it as it deserves


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## arnisador (Mar 11, 2007)

I've never tasted coffee. Ever.

I've tasted coffee-flavored candies and ice cream so I have some idea what it must taste like, but I've never so much as taken a sip of the liquid stuff.

Good luck to you in kicking this addiction!


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## Drac (Mar 12, 2007)

hong kong fooey said:


> I know I could never give up coffee.


 
You ain't alone....


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## shesulsa (Mar 13, 2007)

Hah. I had coffee this morning. 

Last night, I allowed myself to get really pissed off because of the mis-match of declared objectives and actual desires and the misrepresentation of intention and apathetic processes of other adults.

I'm a Girl Scout leader.  My initial co-leader was sports and fitness minded, travel goal oriented and we had similar designs on our usage of the GS experience for our duaghters.  Then we merged with another leader who undoubtedly knows the GS program really well, but is plain old LAZY.  These girls stated they wished to travel to explore other cultures, international carreers and volunteer opportunities.  Now, in GSUSA we have something we like to call "progression" where we start by doing everything for the young girls, gradually introduce them into leadership roles and decision making, the end goal being they run the entire troop and program themselves.  So to travel internationally, these girls would have to start by travelling inside the states, but far away from home.

Last night, they voted on what they were going to do with their cookie money and they voted on an overnight at a gymnastics facility.

:shrug:

An overnight ... at a gymnastics facility ... 15 minutes away.  

Many of these girls are from well-to-do, double-income families and their college is likely already paid for, so it matters little to them if they stretch their boundaries and demonstrate leadership qualities.  They also get opportunities to travel regardless of troop activity for family vacations.  This has left my daughter and a few others completely in the lurch.  They will undoubtedly have fun anyway, but the point is they will not be working towards their goals.

Unfortunately, I allowed this to piss me off so much, it interfered with my slumber last night, so I arose this morning sleepy, grumpy and exhausted.  I ordered coffee with my breakfast without even thinking.

I posted this lengthy rant because patterns are always behind addictions of every kind and at great risk of embarassment, exposure of failure, yadda yadda yadda, I've put it here so I have more accountability.

There are things I can do about this - I can get her into another troop, I can register her as an independent and explore those goals with her (thought this option eliminates the peer-leadership element), or we can find another program.

I think I very likely would have felt better last night if I had broken out those materials and made another plan with her right away for a wider op event.

But I think it noteworthy that I allowed this to upset me to the extent that a domino effect happened and I fell back, without thinking, into an old habit.

So.  Choice had a lot to do with my wagon bump today.  *wipes sleep from her eyes and climbs back on*  Let's try again.


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## Drac (Mar 13, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> So. Choice had a lot to do with my wagon bump today. *wipes sleep from her eyes and climbs back on* Let's try again.


 
Many a Saint had a falling from grace at least once...Try again...


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## CoryKS (Mar 13, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Hah. I had coffee this morning.


 
How much are we talking about here?  A cup or two isn't going to wipe out your progress, if you remain committed to the goal.  You should be mostly through the physical effects by now.  How are you feeling?

BTW, I totally agree on the scouts thing, I had the same experience with cub scouts.  It's a great program and my son's school has a really involved group of parents, but a lot of it is just lost on these kids because it just ends up being one more activity to wedge in between soccer and birthday parties at Gymboree.


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## Lisa (Mar 13, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Hah. I had coffee this morning.
> 
> <sni>
> 
> ...



Oh dear...say it isn't so..you mean...you're human?????:uhohh:

Falling off the wagon can be just as important a lesson as the desire to climb back on it.  I applaud you for doing something that I don't have the strength to accomplish myself.


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## Flatlander (Mar 13, 2007)

Georgia, you will be successful.  Of that, I have no doubt.


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## shesulsa (Mar 13, 2007)

Thanks, folks.

Physically, I'm feeling better - the headaches and nausea have abated (before the coffee this morning), my lungs feel clearer (cream?) and my belly fat is already less than it was before.

Emotionally, I'm less angry now that I know I'm not the only leader who was upset by the decision, though I am a bit miffed that I haven't been listened to as to the progression of these girls.

I think what I'm beginning to realize is how strongly personality, emotion, even rationale all finds a funny combination when lending itself to addictive behavior and I wonder exactly where that line is drawn for me.


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