# Preparation for death...



## Cruentus (Jan 20, 2007)

I have an interesting question.

If you knew that the probability of your death (or at least risk to your life) was coming very soon, what would you do to prepare? Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?

This could be due to disease, a crisis situation, high risk job or travel, combat zone, or what have you.

Not looking for advice here, just curious as to what people think they would do...


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## bydand (Jan 20, 2007)

Cruentus said:


> I have an interesting question.
> 
> If you knew that the probability of your death (or at least risk to your life) was coming very soon, what would you do to prepare? Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?
> 
> ...



Spend every remaining moment with my Wife and sons!  That would suffice for me in all the aspects you mentioned; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.


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## Makalakumu (Jan 20, 2007)

A very interesting questions...I see my own grandfather struggling with this right now.  Last weekend was his last weekend at home and I visited him with my two small children...2 and 5.  I talked to him about death and said that I really wanted my children to have a chance to say good bye with dignity.  He agreed...

I have never seen a man fight like he did.  He has cancer that has spread throughout his entire body and is constantly in pain.  Every time he draws a breath, it really is a chore.  When I brought Olivia and Charlie by, he put all of that aside and sat up in rocking chair...just like he did when I was a boy...this great big bear of a man smiling and laughing and playing with the little children by his feet.  

When we were getting ready to leave, grandpa was getting really tired and was resting in his chair.  My daughter leaned over and kissed his cheek and my son crawled up into his lab and gave him his "traditional" hug and a kiss and a smooch.  I don't know if they will remember him or this moment when they get older...

...but I will...


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## tellner (Jan 21, 2007)

I'd probably do what I did last time. See my Rabbi. See my Shaykh. Spend time with parents and every minute I could with my wife. Walk the dogs. Pray for strength to meet the end with as much dignity and courage as possible.


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## terryl965 (Jan 21, 2007)

I would do the exact same thing I have always done spend time with the family and friends chat on line here and run my school. IF you really have to change your lifestyle for you are dieing then you are dieing because of your lifestyle.

No one should have to make a complete overhaul of there life, if there life is ran the way it is suppose to be.
Just my opinion


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jan 21, 2007)

Death awaits everyone and may come sooner than you think.  I think it is important to live your life the way you would want to *all of the time* so that you do not have any regrets.  Live and be happy and always treat and take care of the ones you love!  That is what I try to do.


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## Haze (Jan 21, 2007)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> Death awaits everyone and may come sooner than you think.  I think it is important to live your life the way you would want to *all of the time* so that you do not have any regrets.  Live and be happy and always treat and take care of the ones you love!  That is what I try to do.



Have to agree with this. I lost my sonwhen he was 15yrs old. That was 13yrs ago. That was a reminder that anyones life can end at any time. 

Live with no regrets, do the things you want to do be it a cruise or trip somewhere, forgive those that have wronged you and seek forgiveness from those you may have wronged. Work hard, play hard and enjoy each moment you have with ones you love.


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## theletch1 (Jan 21, 2007)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> Death awaits everyone and may come sooner than you think. I think it is important to live your life the way you would want to *all of the time* so that you do not have any regrets. Live and be happy and always treat and take care of the ones you love! That is what I try to do.


Heijo-shin.  If you have reached an understanding of this and someone tells you that tomorrow is your last day on earth then you would live that day like any other because you are already living life as you want to.  You've left nothing unattended to or undone.  I'm almost there.  I would say that I'd spend my last days glued to my wifes side or spending extra time with the kids but I'm not sure that I would.  I don't fear death for deaths sake.  I'm ready to go when it's my time.  I fear death only for what it would do to those I leave behind and for the loss of time with my family.


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## Lisa (Jan 21, 2007)

Haze said:


> Have to agree with this. I lost my sonwhen he was 15yrs old. That was 13yrs ago. That was a reminder that anyones life can end at any time.
> 
> Live with no regrets, do the things you want to do be it a cruise or trip somewhere, forgive those that have wronged you and seek forgiveness from those you may have wronged. Work hard, play hard and enjoy each moment you have with ones you love.



First off, Haze...I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish it were that no parent ever had to lose a child. :asian:

As for Cruentus' question...I am not sure that I, as a healthy individual can truly "prepare" for death.  Certainly I can make a will and make sure my arrangements are taken care of but the emotional and spiritual side of me still lacks that knowledge and true understanding of what is going to happen.  It also lacks the acceptance of it.

Terminally ill people that have battled disease and elderly people who are acceptant that this is the time for them to pass are truly the only ones that  may be able to prepare themselves for their passing both emotionally and spiritually.


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## JasonASmith (Jan 21, 2007)

Haze-:asian: That's my absolute worst nightmare...
As for me, settle debts(as I could), spend time with the family, and face the end doing kata...


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## Kacey (Jan 21, 2007)

I tried to put my thoughts into words, and kept coming back to this song, "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.




> He said I was in my early forties
> with a lot of life before me
> when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
> and I spent most of the next days
> ...


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## Rich Parsons (Jan 21, 2007)

Cruentus said:


> I have an interesting question.
> 
> If you knew that the probability of your death (or at least risk to your life) was coming very soon, what would you do to prepare? Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?
> 
> ...





Make sure all fincances were in place. 

Living Trust  or Will or something similiar. 

Once those things are taken care of, then spend the time with family and friends. 


Yet, to find peace in where you ask for Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, asks for one to reflect and ponder and accept. 

Death is there and will come. We all want it to be as long away as possible.  (* Assuming quality of Life *) 

Emotionally, this could be with your loved one and or with yourself. Hopefully with your loved one the time and your acceptance yourself will be enough for them.  For yourself, you need to realize that this could happen at anytime. There are times when it is more likely, but if you stay alert and work and not loose focus of the objective (* Staying Alive *) then you should be able to address this, and the possibility of fear. If you accept the fact (* Disease *) then the fear should not be there as well. 

Mentally, as above, do not allow fear to overcome you. Just prepare and stay focused. 

Spiritually, is the hardest as each religion has a differnet approach and each individual has their own demons and fears and concerns. If there is something that bothers you that you want to say, then bring it out so it is not an issue. If you need to make peace wth someone make the peace. If you need to understand what you are doing and why, then look inside and understand what is bothering you and bring it to light to reflect and address or accept.


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## shesulsa (Jan 21, 2007)

Kacey's post pretty well sums it up.

My dad died 20 years ago and since then I have been hugging my family extra tight every time, saying "I love you" more than a dozen times a day.  

I look into the eyes of the people I love and make sure they know that I care.  

It's more important to me to do something with my family than build that porch or clean my car. 

I say no to training sometimes to be with my family instead.

I try to teach my children this morning like I might not be here this afternoon.

I try to smile and laugh more and be thankful for the moments I have.

When I get it right, I'm more gentle with my children ... it's easier not to sweat the little stuff.


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## Cruentus (Jan 21, 2007)

Interesting responses. Thanks everyone! 

What I would do is fairly simple.

I am lucky that I don't harbor resentments or have people that I need to track down and make amends or apologize too. Any fueds I have had with people, I am over. And anything that was worth apoligizing or making amends for, I have. I try to live everyday where I don't have any regrets. So if I have a regret or a redress that needs to me made, then I try to take care of it as quickly as possible. I don't like things hanging over my head.

I would make sure that my loved ones are taken care of, and that my wife will be taken care of (insurance, will, etc.).

I would go to confession. I'm not a "hardcore" Catholic or anything, and this is not my "safety line" or something I do for superstitions sake, it is just my way of making things right with my conception of God. It is my chance to, as Rich said, bring everything out on the table, talk about it, and come to a level of serenity with it.

Then I would make sure that I prayed/meditated every day; morning and night.

I might make it a point to call people or see certain people, but I wouldn't feel rushed or pressure to see everyone per say; like I said, I try to make every interaction I have with people meaningful so that if something ever does happen, I won't have regrets in that regards. Those kinds of regrets are impossible to really mend, so I don't want to go through that.

I have faced death before, and I will face it again. I don't fear it. But by doing all of the above, I would be able to face it free of anxiety or concerns over anything that might have been left undone.



Thanks again for replies. Keep em' coming; it really interests me to read about how people handle this...


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## bushidomartialarts (Jan 21, 2007)

i wouldn't change anything except maybe put a few things in order to make sure my wife was financially situated.

but i love my life as it is.


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