# BE yourself..do not compare to others!



## still learning (Sep 21, 2007)

Hello, We just had two new girls (young teens).  They both have been training for about 2 months now and they enjoy the training.

They try very hard and somtimes feel like it is impossible to do certain techniques.

They are comparing themselve with the other students who have been training for years, and do not realize these older(longer training)....students have been doing those techniques for a very long time.

Try to remember as a beginner, each of us is an individual, each of us will learn things in our own pace of training. DO NOT COMPARE YOU SELF WITH OTHERS!

The only time you make comparsion is when you look back at your beginnings...and see how much you improve and gotton better....THIS IS THE TRUE WAY TO MEASURE ONE SELF!

Everyone who trains very hard ,will see improvements within themselves.

Off course I can train for you....but who will gain the benifits?

Only you can make a difference in your training......Aloha


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## Big Don (Sep 21, 2007)

Excellent point. It is far easier for some reason for others to see your progress. My Sifu always tells us not to be our own worst critics.


> I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies, for the hardest victory is victory over self.


 Aristotle


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## Tez3 (Sep 22, 2007)

I find it very hard not to compare myself to everyone else. So much so in fact I find it very hard to train with anyone else other than my club. I'm off on holiday on a couple of weeks and I noticed on here there's a TSD club close to where I'll be staying and I would love to PM them and say please can I come and train with you but there's no way I'll do it! I'd feel well out of my depth and they'd think I was a pretty lousy black belt! I haven't trained TSD class for over three years but have to teach it to the kids. 
I suppose looking back I am better than when I started martial arts (about 15 years ago) but compared to others of my grade I know I'm not very good at all.


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## FieldDiscipline (Sep 22, 2007)

Tez, I suspect you are selling yourself very short there.


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## still learning (Sep 22, 2007)

Tez3 said:


> I find it very hard not to compare myself to everyone else. So much so in fact I find it very hard to train with anyone else other than my club. I'm off on holiday on a couple of weeks and I noticed on here there's a TSD club close to where I'll be staying and I would love to PM them and say please can I come and train with you but there's no way I'll do it! I'd feel well out of my depth and they'd think I was a pretty lousy black belt! I haven't trained TSD class for over three years but have to teach it to the kids.
> I suppose looking back I am better than when I started martial arts (about 15 years ago) but compared to others of my grade I know I'm not very good at all.


 
Hello, Please do not lack confidence in oneself.  All you need to do is start more physcial training at home. (remember physcial training requires-MORE MENTAL training to GO and DO IT!

Plus as we age?....one slows down.   Do not expect yourself to be faster or quicker just because you have a black belt.

A black belt doesn't mean you are a suppose to be SUPERMAN!

Your expectation of yourself is ? ....gotta change this thought to more positive thinking!

I know just because you have a black belt....you think that people expect you to be like "Bruce Lee"  

Bruce lee at one time train over 8 hours day to stay in the shape he was, he also knew he didn't want to train this way forever (as he age).

Be positive and think positive, you are no different than the rest of us, I know I am slower and cannot keep up with the Juniors or younger black belts.

Do more excerise NOW...than  compare yourself in a few months?  I think you will feel better about yourself.

Martial arts is about prepare oneself of self-defense.  BUT NOT to fight
Awareness and avoidance is the key (self-control)....humble, kind, honest, trueful, and MENTALLY STRONG!!!!!!

Aloha (you are not the only one who feels this way sometimes)


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## newGuy12 (Sep 22, 2007)

still learning said:


> (remember physcial training requires-MORE MENTAL training to GO and DO IT!



Isn't that the truth?  In the end, for me, it comes down to that there are two kinds of people:

1) Those who train.

2) Those who do not train.

At least I am getting off of the couch and am enjoying participating with the class.  I get to stretch out and learn some motions.  And exercise.  I know that there will always be someone out there who can "kick my butt".  All the same, I am not going to miss out on this practice, since I have the chance.  Its a great world to live in that we have these martial arts available to us. 

And, what is the alternative?  To grow old in such a way that I can hardly move my body because I did not exercise?  No, that's not good.  And, the people involved with this seem to be good folks, nice to spend time with.




Robert


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## Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu (Sep 22, 2007)

We are almost always our own worst enemies.  We look around, and see that Johnny's front kick is better than ours, or Suzy's high block is a lot smoother or Timmy's mid-punch is so flawless.  What some people do forget is that some people can just pick up and get the handle on things a lot faster than other people.  It doesn't necessarily make then any better, it just means that the individual may have to train a little bit harder or a little bit more often than said other students.  

Along our dojo floor we have huge mirrors up and down the entire length.  And as my Sensei has always said "I prefer you focus on two people myself and yourself."


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## still learning (Sep 22, 2007)

Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu said:


> We are almost always our own worst enemies. We look around, and see that Johnny's front kick is better than ours, or Suzy's high block is a lot smoother or Timmy's mid-punch is so flawless. What some people do forget is that some people can just pick up and get the handle on things a lot faster than other people. It doesn't necessarily make then any better, it just means that the individual may have to train a little bit harder or a little bit more often than said other students.
> 
> Along our dojo floor we have huge mirrors up and down the entire length. And as my Sensei has always said "I prefer you focus on two people myself and yourself."


 
Hello, I always tell the kids practice in front a mirror, one of the best ways to see yourself in action.

I also tell them is you can punch or kick faster than the person in the mirror?   ....then you achieve something most of us can't do!

Learn to be faster than that person in the mirror!  ( almost did it once?)?????? ................Aloha ( we have slow moving mirrors).


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## TheOriginalName (Sep 23, 2007)

I have to agree with others who have posted here ...

It is very difficult not to compare yourself with others.
I've been training for about 6 months now and find that i am still often looking at those who are more advanced or even at my level and competeing/compairing myself to them. 
Perhaps this comes a bit from the fact that i use to play team sports where you have to be competative to earn you spot. 

I personally think that if comparison to those more advanced motivates you to achieve what they have then it is a good thing.
If it is however a demotivator then you need to focus on the self.


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## CoryKS (Sep 24, 2007)

One of the best tips I ever received was to treat each class as a private lesson.  I don't compare myself to others because, while class is going on, they don't exist.  Except for sparring, of course.  But during technique/kata training, it's me and the instructor.


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## tshadowchaser (Sep 24, 2007)

> Try to remember as a beginner, each of us is an individual, each of us will learn things in our own pace of training. DO NOT COMPARE YOU SELF WITH OTHERS!


 
how true   or to put it in other words:

the only compition in class should be between you and yourslef. Do what you can and strive to be better with each class


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## Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu (Sep 24, 2007)

I once heard a story from one of our students that he walked into a dojo and the Sensei was taking him on a tour, at one point he turned to the black belts and said "you should strive to look and move like them" this student looked to the Sensei and asked "but what if I don't want to look or move just like them, but like me?" the Sensei was dumbfounded and continued the tour.

Personally I don't think it's right for the Sensei to try and categorize a student the minute there in the door (granted that many not have been his intention) but I personally have never pointed one student out to another and said "see that student that student will be you after a couple years of training etc etc"

Let students be the individuals they were born to be, and watch the growing process begin!​


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## still learning (Sep 24, 2007)

Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu said:


> I once heard a story from one of our students that he walked into a dojo and the Sensei was taking him on a tour, at one point he turned to the black belts and said "you should strive to look and move like them" this student looked to the Sensei and asked "but what if I don't want to look or move just like them, but like me?" the Sensei was dumbfounded and continued the tour.​
> 
> Personally I don't think it's right for the Sensei to try and categorize a student the minute there in the door (granted that many not have been his intention) but I personally have never pointed one student out to another and said "see that student that student will be you after a couple years of training etc etc"​
> Let students be the individuals they were born to be, and watch the growing process begin!​


 
Hello,  So true!   We always compare trees as students.  We let them know each person will plant a seed in learning martial arts...each seed will grow in it's own size and shape.

Like a tree...each will form his own looking tree,  Some will be taller ,others wide and many branches, some quick and fast, some will never grow?  Form your own self in learning and make your own tree!

Aloha, (which is faster the apple tree or orange tree)  most people says you cannot compare apples to oranges?  Where did I hear that before?  UM?


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