# Craigs List Ad



## Bob Hubbard (Sep 22, 2009)

Got this in my email today.
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This Ad Was Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A M EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.  Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.  The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you . . . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex


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## Knives (Sep 23, 2009)

That was by far the BEST story I've read all year!  Thanks for a good laugh!


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## shesulsa (Sep 23, 2009)

Entertaining - but hopefully not true. I wonder ... if it *were* true, could this piece of writing legally be considered a written confession?

Retribution for mugging by doing damage to other people's property and putting the blame on him?  

Someone needs to take that guy's gun away.


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## celtic_crippler (Sep 23, 2009)

shesulsa said:


> Entertaining - but hopefully not true. I wonder ... if it *were* true, could this piece of writing legally be considered a written confession?
> 
> Retribution for mugging by doing damage to other people's property and putting the blame on him?
> 
> Someone needs to take that guy's gun away.


 
Yes, and he would ultimately be held responsible for credit card fraud, threatening the President, and armed robbery just to name but a few criminal charges... I'm sure he could be tried in civil court as well for additional injuries... if this were indeed true he would be as screwed as he is stupid.


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## shesulsa (Sep 23, 2009)

Yup. Nice little story tho.


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## Nolerama (Sep 23, 2009)

I'd like to know if it's real, and who originally wrote it...

I think this was discussed before in a previous thread but this story has been reproduced on a number of personals sites and forums.

Regardless... outside of the threatening the FBI and President thing, I'd probably ring up a ton of cash on the mugger's credit card, and call his mom.


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## Jdokan (Sep 23, 2009)

Awesome....rotflmao!!!!!!


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## Steve (Sep 23, 2009)

I don't know guys.  This wasn't funny to me because it was such obvious BS.

Now, if you're looking for a funny (if likely untrue) Craig's list ad, this is the best one I've ever read:

_To the woman that crapped in my car&#8230; - 

I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don&#8217;t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said &#8220;First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me&#8221; was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle&#8217;s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don&#8217;t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That&#8217;s why they call it &#8220;gambling&#8221;. I&#8217;m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better&#8230;like when you&#8217;re not sitting on a heated leather seat&#8230;

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call, Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early&#8230;Touché&#8230;
_


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## Knives (Sep 23, 2009)

hahahah thats another good one stevebjj


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## Haze (Sep 23, 2009)

Besides all the legal ramifications that would fall on the one that wrote this if it where true,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I got a big laugh out of it  !!!!!!


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## Knives (Sep 23, 2009)

stevebjj said:


> I don't know guys.  This wasn't funny to me because it was such obvious BS.


Even if it was fake, it was still a funny story.


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## Matthew McMullen (Oct 5, 2009)

I didn't find the first story funny the 2nd one I did find amusing.


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