# How can you tell...



## kenposcum

Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?

A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.

Again, hee hee hee!


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## Kenpo Wolf

That is so wrong


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## tonbo

Good thing that jokes like that don't start flame wars.... 

Heh....just remember, folks....it's a JOKE...

Peace--


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## Bod

Whereas a BJJ guy is flat on his back in the tournaments and the streetfights.


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## kenposcum

The BJJ is flat on his back in the tournaments, but he's dead in the streetfights because while he was in the guard, dealing with one assailant, the guy's buddies came up and kicked him in the head over and over and over....and over and over and over...:asian:


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## ChoyLiFutDude

Wow, I like that joke. It was pretty good.


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## TkdWarrior

wrong answers...the rite answer will be...
A. with all those Dan stripes in the belt  

inteded pun...


-TkdWarrior-


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## Damian Mavis

"Q: How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?

A: He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights."



I didn't think that joke was funny.

Damian Mavis
Honour TKD


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## Bob Hubbard

How can you tell a guy studies kenpo?

He's the one throwing 6 punched, 8 kicks, 3 headbutts and 1 eye gouge in the air after his 1st punch took out the glass jawed yetz who attacked him....  

OR

When he's got a busted right arm asks his attacker to come back in a few weeks when he can do his technique that he only studied from the right side.

OR

He asks his attacker to pause so he can remember movement 85 in long 4 which is just what he needs at the moment.

----------------
How can you tell a guy studies FMA?  
 - He's always grinning at the knife show.
 - 'Getting Wood' means he's digging out his rattan
 - He knows what the phrase 'and you are already cut' means, and remembers it fondly. 



I got more around somewhere.....


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## Rich Parsons

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> 
> *
> . . .
> ----------------
> How can you tell a guy studies FMA?
> - He's always grinning at the knife show.
> - 'Getting Wood' means he's digging out his rattan
> - He knows what the phrase 'and you are already cut' means, and remembers it fondly.
> ..... *




How Can you tell someone trains in FMA?

Boy this makes me smile Kaith. Oh How so true all three are.

Here is my addition: When the guy uses his machete to trim down a small tree or brank into a good striking stick.  

The FMA practitioner is the guy who shows up to the knife fight and has brought enough knives for everyone.  

The FMA Practitioner is also the guy who shows up to the Gun fight with a knife. And then proceeds to explain the rule of 20 Feet for safe distance. 

Rich


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## Kenpo Wolf

How many kenpoists does it take to screw in a light bulb? No kenpoist can do it because SGM Ed Parker never wrote the technique for it


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## kenposcum

Heh heh heh...
The Kenpo ones are actually funnier than my original post!
:asian:


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## cdhall

> _Originally posted by Kenpo Wolf _
> 
> *How many kenpoists does it take to screw in a light bulb? No kenpoist can do it because SGM Ed Parker never wrote the technique for it *



You are of course, wrong.  Which is not uncommon in the Kenpo community. 

It takes 10+ Kenpo Black Belts to screw in a lightbulb.

1 to do it first and 9+ others to gather around and tell him it won't work, and that he is wrong because Mr. Parker showed him another way.

Nevermind that the light is on.  Do it again the right way.


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## kenposcum

We see a lot of that, don't we?


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## Master of Blades

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


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## Yari

An aikidoka does it softer and in harmony  
A karatedoka does it harder while saying "OUSH" all the time  
A Tai chi praticer does it slowly and all by himself  
A Iaidoka does it on the first stroke (draw)   
A Kempo-ka does it with a stick, screaming  
A kempo artist uses everypart of his body - twice  

Enjoy!

/Yari


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## JDenz

10 reasons to date a wreestler
Always wears headgear
will eat anything
knows when to push and pull
endurance,endurance endurance
goes hard from start to finishcan work a two on one
knows how to use his hips
can score from any position
never stalls on bottom
knows how to ride


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## ace

><


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## JDenz

who is there?


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## ace

><


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## JDenz

Boo Who?


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## ace

><


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## JDenz

yes they are boo hoo boo hoo


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## cali_tkdbruin

> _Originally posted by kenposcum _
> 
> *Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?
> 
> A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.
> 
> Again, hee hee hee! *



What are you, a comedian??? :moon:


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## kenposcum

Officer:  What are you kid, a freakin' comedian or something?

Me: Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am a comedian.  That is my chosen profession.  Are you discriminating against me on the basis of employment?

Officer:...

:asian:


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## cali_tkdbruin

:rofl: 
Ah huh, you're funny...


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## Elfan

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> 
> *How can you tell a guy studies kenpo?
> 
> He's the one throwing 6 punched, 8 kicks, 3 headbutts and 1 eye gouge in the air after his 1st punch took out the glass jawed yetz who attacked him....
> 
> OR
> 
> When he's got a busted right arm asks his attacker to come back in a few weeks when he can do his technique that he only studied from the right side.
> 
> OR
> 
> He asks his attacker to pause so he can remember movement 85 in long 4 which is just what he needs at the moment.
> 
> 
> I got more around somewhere..... *



The first one is wicked funny, you come up with that yoruself or from a list somewhere.  If a list, please share more.


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## Hollywood1340

Fellow Artists,

Taekata to Kenpoist: And what am I supposed to do while your dancing about waving your hands in the air?

Kenpoist to Taekata: Be carefu with those kicks, one of these days you're leg is gonna get stuck like that, so don't say I didn't warn ya.


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## CraneWings

Why do you guys have to make jokes like that.  Can't we all just except eachothers styles, as different as they may be?


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## Matt Stone

> _Originally posted by CraneWings _
> *Why do you guys have to make jokes like that.  Can't we all just except eachothers styles, as different as they may be? *



No.



How can you tell the difference between a Yiliquan student and any other internal CMA boxer?

The Taiji guy is busy standing still (because it develops power).

The Xingyi guy is busy walking in funny lines (because it develops power).

The Bagua guy is busy walking in circles (because dizziness begets power).

The Yili guy is busy getting up, dusting himself off, taping up the bruised or broken ribs, spitting out a few teeth and a mouthful of blood saying "That was good.  Let's try that again..."

(we hit each other for fun...  If ever in the SeaTac area, you must visit and ask about the Capitol Hill B*tch Slap...)

Gambarimasu.
:asian:

***CAVEAT:  We, in Yiliquan, also practice Xingyiquan, Taijiquan and Baguazhang.  The above jokes are intended for humor only, and apply equally to our practice as to that of other IMAists.


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## Jill666

> _Originally posted by kenposcum _
> *Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?
> 
> A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.
> 
> What's wrong with being on your back? I enjoy it...
> *


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## Jill666

Bring it on! 

Especially the Kenpo jokes- I resemble the first one  

The wrestling jokes I have to send my partner, who was once all-state.


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## JDenz

lol jill


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## Kenpo Wolf

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *
> 
> 
> 
> Originally posted by kenposcum
> Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?
> 
> A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.
> 
> What's wrong with being on your back? I enjoy it...
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Being the honorable gentleman that I am, I will refrain from making a crude comment *


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## Master of Blades

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *
> 
> 
> 
> Originally posted by kenposcum
> Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?
> 
> A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.
> 
> What's wrong with being on your back? I enjoy it...
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I............Well I...............Y'know what, its all good :rofl:*


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## jeffkyle

> _Originally posted by Kenpo Wolf _
> *Being the honorable gentleman that I am, I will refrain from making a crude comment  *



Ditto!


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## cali_tkdbruin

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *
> 
> 
> 
> Originally posted by kenposcum
> Q:  How do you know if an individual studies Tae Kwon Do?
> 
> A:  He's up on his toes in the tournaments and flat on his back in the streetfights.
> 
> What's wrong with being on your back? I enjoy it...
> 
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> What do you mean being on your back? :erg:*


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## Master of Blades

> _Originally posted by cali_tkdbruin _
> *What do you mean being on your back? :erg: *



Your a big guy Cali.........guess


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## ace

She Will Send a Few Kicks from The Ground
To The Family Jewels.
:idea:


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by cali_tkdbruin _
> *What do you mean being on your back? :erg: *



 Oh my gosh. I think I know. _(jumping from the back of class with my arm up. Me Me Me Me  hey Me_ :rofl:


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## cali_tkdbruin

> _Originally posted by Master of Blades _
> *Your a big guy Cali.........guess  *



I think I have a good clue :idea:
But, I too am an honorable gentleman so I won't make public my guess...  :rofl:


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## Jill666




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## JDenz

These guys are way to nice lol you should be over at my place.  I even got a mat to cut down on the rug burn =-).


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## cali_tkdbruin

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *These guys are way to nice lol you should be over at my place.  I even got a mat to cut down on the rug burn =-). *



You're a funny MAist *JDenz*... :rofl: :rofl:
:lol:


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## JDenz

lol oh ya I forgot I am joking.  lol unless you serious lol


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## Jill666

It's good you protect yourself against rug burn, JD


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## Kirk

Don't you guys just love Jill's posts!  Betcha her husband's always
got a smile on his face!


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *Don't you guys just love Jill's posts!  Betcha her husband's always
> got a smile on his face! *



She seems cool. I do get enjoyment out of reading her posts! Very funny stuff.


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## ace

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *Don't you guys just love Jill's posts!  Betcha her husband's always
> got a smile on his face! *



I 2nd the Smile:boing2:
 :boing2: 
:boing2:


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## JDenz

I kinda like it.  It is like a battle scar.


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## Rich Parsons

Jill is a good sport, and honest about herself and others.

Her and the others that express themselves here are a major source of my enjoyment for my daily reading.

Thank you all


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## Seig

> _Originally posted by JDenz _
> *These guys are way to nice lol you should be over at my place.  I even got a mat to cut down on the rug burn =-). *


Thanks:shrug: Now I have to go wash my eyes out with soap


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## jeffkyle

Very entertaining!


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## Goldendragon7

I don't get it?


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## Jill666




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## Seig

Oh no, she fell for it.


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## KenpoTess

*not going to 'splain to Mr. C.. Nope.. nada.. not gonna do it~!!!


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## Goldendragon7

I think I need a nurse! or need to nurse or somethin':drink2tha


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## chufeng

> What's wrong with being on your back? I enjoy it...



It appears that you've learned to deal with "the mount."

 
chufeng


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## chufeng

How can you tell if someone practices WuShu?

They run, run, run, punch, run, kick, jump, land, pose....and then do it again, and again, and again...

:asian:
chufeng


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## Cliarlaoch

> It appears that you've learned to deal with "the mount"



That's wrong on far too many levels.






Funny, but wrong.


Then again, one does have to be very careful how to ... er... position oneself one wrestles, so I suppose the argument's relative.

(Sorry, I had to do it)


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## Cliarlaoch

> It appears that you've learned to deal with "the mount"



That's wrong on far too many levels.






Funny, but wrong.


Then again, one does have to be very careful how to ... er... position oneself one wrestles, so I suppose the argument's relative.
(Sorry, I had to say it) ;P


--Cliarlaoch


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## Cliarlaoch

whoops... sorry about the extra posts...


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## JDenz

Ya right trying to up your posts on Jill's dime err 50 cents lol


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## chufeng

> That's wrong on far too many levels.



Not at all...

I think it very important to be effective in ground fighting...
Jill666 has found her "comfort zone" with this particular aspect of her art...how many of you enjoy being your backs? 

You see what I mean? 

:asian:
chufeng


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## Seig

> _Originally posted by chufeng _
> *Not at all...
> 
> I think it very important to be effective in ground fighting...
> Jill666 has found her "comfort zone" with this particular aspect of her art...how many of you enjoy being your backs?
> 
> You see what I mean?
> 
> :asian:
> chufeng *


I much prefer a Recliner......


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## Cruentus

other then you guys crack me up!:rofl:


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## Cliarlaoch

> _Originally posted by chufeng _
> *
> 
> "comfort zone"
> :asian:
> chufeng *



Indeed... 

I don't know, I thought the goal was not to get "pinned" while wrestling.

You have to get a hold of yourself to take control of the situation.




Argh, getting worse... puns... and... bad entendres... causing... brain... to leak out... of ears... (bad Shatner impression)


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## Jill666

You all can get ahold of yourselves   I have someone.

And by the way, NOBODY pins me...


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## KenpoTess

I have to admit.. I enjoy ground work..  Just about Every fight is going to end up on the ground.. so it's best to know what to do in that respect.. my jiu jitsu training works right along with Kenpo..  


And practicing is fun *G*


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## Master of Blades

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *You all can get ahold of yourselves   I have someone.
> 
> And by the way, NOBODY pins me... *



I think your man would object to that remark :rofl:


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## JDenz

You don't hang out with enough wrestlers then


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