# The Amazing Death Predictor!



## Jade Tigress (Feb 14, 2007)

http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

*pam: At age 69 you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much. *


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## mrhnau (Feb 14, 2007)

*MrHnau: At age 79 a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of King Cobra. 

*What the heck is King Cobra? LOL


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## bydand (Feb 14, 2007)

*bydand: At age 84 you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth magarita of the day. (And it's on 3:00pm, shame on you!)*

:lfao:

mrhnau, King Cobra is a cheap beer.  Think real, real cheap.  Last time I saw it a 40 was less than a 12 can of Pepsi.


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## shesulsa (Feb 14, 2007)

> *G: At age 85 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown. *


At 85?  Heck, I could be passed out drunk and never know what happened!  I supposed I could live with that, though it would be second to another choice.


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

mrhnau said:


> *MrHnau: At age 79 a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of King Cobra. *
> 
> What the heck is King Cobra? LOL


 
Malt Liquor..


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

At age 100 I'll cash in my chips at an arcade playing Street Fighter Omega, I'll be electrocuted by the headset..The first such death in years..Hey, there are worse ways to buy it..


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## MA-Caver (Feb 14, 2007)

*MACAVER: At age 55 while playing Street Fighter Omega at an arcade, you will be electrocuted by the headset. You will be the first such death in years. *
Damn... only 10 years to go. Haven't played Street Fighter in years... hmm, I could always stay away from them henceforth... But I do have the game on a CD ROM... perhaps I should burn it... and be arrested for destroying every Street Fighter cabinet that I see from now on? 

Odd... 10 years left... time to get busy... *ahem* Ladies which of you lovelies want to marry me? Line up behind the green line on the floor please, interviews begin shortly... :uhyeah:


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

MA-Caver said:


> Odd... 10 years left... time to get busy... *ahem* Ladies which of you lovelies want to marry me? Line up behind the green line on the floor please, interviews begin shortly... :uhyeah:


 
WAIT, let me get my camcorder first, this I gotta preserve for all time..


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## Kacey (Feb 14, 2007)

*Kacey: At age 93 you finally kick the heroine habit! Congratulations. Unfortunately you stopped because you died from an overdose.*

I guess I've never really seen myself as a herione... better get to work!


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## Carol (Feb 14, 2007)

*Carol Kaur: At age 72 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Mexico. *

¡Por lo menos me moriré la muerte de una guerrera! 

(At least I will be dying the death of a warrior)


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> *Carol Kaur: At age 72 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Mexico. *
> 
> ¡Por lo menos me moriré la muerte de una guerrera!
> 
> (At least I will be dying the death of a warrior)


 
Oh sure, *she * gets a warriors death and I die in an arcade...What an epitath..


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## bydand (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> Oh sure, *she * gets a warriors death and I die in an arcade...What an epitath..



Yeah, at least you are out and about; I die drunk at home.  (kind of what I would have laid money on until I got married.  )


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

bydand said:


> Yeah, at least you are out and about; I die drunk at home. (kind of what I would have laid money on until I got married.  )


 
I hear ya brother and the same fate would have befallen me, that's  PROVIDING I was able to crawl back inside my apartment and not croaked in the car...LOL


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## SFC JeffJ (Feb 14, 2007)

*Jeff: At age 78 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then. *

Just like home, I'm always the last to find out about anything.


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## bydand (Feb 14, 2007)

SFC JeffJ said:


> *Jeff: At age 78 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then. *
> 
> Just like home, I'm always the last to find out about anything.



:lfao:


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

SFC JeffJ said:


> *Jeff: At age 78 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then. *
> 
> Just like home, I'm always the last to find out about anything.


 



:lol2::lol2:


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## Rich Parsons (Feb 14, 2007)

Rich: At age 60 you will be gunned down in the street by hippies after enacting a bill that grants the WTO even more power. 


My New plan is to stop this BILL and the WTO. 

I wonder how many I took with me?


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## Infinite (Feb 14, 2007)

*At age 55 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours! 

*So yeah ... death by pop culture I will hear no more whining about anyone elses death. Not to mention I get it at 55 

--Infy


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

*Tom: At age 86 you will become involved in revolutionary activities in Ecuador, and be killed. *

Carol, can you teach me to speak spanish??


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## Ping898 (Feb 14, 2007)

*Ping: At age 65 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay. *

This is awesome!  Just how I want to go!!


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

Ping898 said:


> *Ping: At age 65 you will participate in the newest reality game show. Contestants battle each other in an arena with swords and spears. You will have a good run (12+ victories) but eventually be killed, much to the audience's dismay. *
> 
> This is awesome! Just how I want to go!!


 
ANOTHER glorius death..I die playing a video game..:vu:


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> ANOTHER glorius death..I die playing a video game..:vu:


 
You can come to Equador with me, how's your spanish?


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## Infinite (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> ANOTHER glorius death..I die playing a video game..:vu:



I REPEAT I die by POP CULTURE!!! Death by video game has far more honor.

--Infy


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Infinite said:


> I REPEAT I die by POP CULTURE!!! Death by video game has far more honor.
> 
> --Infy


 
I don't know, death by pop culture is like torture, maybe you end up a political prisoner or something, you have to look at the bright side


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

morph4me said:


> You can come to Equador with me, how's your spanish?


 

So-so.. but we gotta take Infinite with us..Death by pop culture is NO way for a man to die...


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> So-so.. but we gotta take Infinite with us..Death by pop culture is NO way for a man to die...


 
The more the merrier, hell, at 86 I'll need all the help I can get


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## Infinite (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> So-so.. but we gotta take Infinite with us..Death by pop culture is NO way for a man to die...



*sniffle* Thanks drac but they made a good point perhaps I am capture IN Ecuador and tortured to death.

Come to think of it how do you avoid my death? At least you all can not drink, not do video games, or not show up to the fight.

Mine slips out and kills me without warning!

Darn it.

--Infy


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## Carol (Feb 14, 2007)

morph4me said:


> *Tom: At age 86 you will become involved in revolutionary activities in Ecuador, and be killed. *
> 
> Carol, can you teach me to speak spanish??


 
Asi es no problema.  (Sure I can)



Drac said:


> So-so.. but we gotta take Infinite with us..Death by pop culture is NO way for a man to die...


 
Fine with me.


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## Carol (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> Oh sure, *she *gets a warriors death and I die in an arcade...What an epitath..


 
:lol2:


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## JBrainard (Feb 14, 2007)

Jade Tigress said:


> http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php


 
Oh, man! My work's firewall blocked the website. I really wanted to know how I would go. Damn, guess I'll just have to wait and find out.


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

JBrainard said:


> Oh, man! My work's firewall blocked the website. I really wanted to know how I would go. Damn, guess I'll just have to wait and find out.


 
I was surprized I got in as the the Departmenst usually blocks out ALL the good sites


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## JasonASmith (Feb 14, 2007)

*jason smith: At age 58 a large monkey will beat you to death, using the antiquated art of fisticuffs. *
BRILLIANT!


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## Ceicei (Feb 14, 2007)

I tried this with my full name and it came out:

*At age 72 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Mexico.

*Commere, you terrorists!  I wanna you look at the end of my "walking cane" (bang, bang!)

*************

With my nickname, oh gee....  

*At age 57 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then. 

*At least I hope by the time I get to 54, my dreams turn rather exciting.  Looks like my nickname is just as real as my dreams get.


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## bluemtn (Feb 14, 2007)

*Kerri: At age 73 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill.*

I kid you not, that's what was generated!  I better stay away from electric fences, then.:uhyeah:

I thought that required a little something extra that I don't have (physically, that is)?


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## Infinite (Feb 14, 2007)

tkdgirl said:


> *Kerri: At age 73 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill.*
> 
> I kid you not, that's what was generated!  I better stay away from electric fences, then.:uhyeah:
> 
> I thought that required a little something extra that I don't have (physically, that is)?



Untrue watch the full monety  a demonstration of the female ability to do this is in the male strip club scene 

--Infy


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## bluemtn (Feb 14, 2007)

Oh my. More of us being sent to fight terrorism:

*tkdgirl: At age 44 you will die fighting the Global War on Terrorism in Spain. *


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 14, 2007)

*ushidomartialarts: At age 87 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!


*no!  no!  please god no!


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## Whitebelt (Feb 14, 2007)

Whitebelt: At age 24 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

Awesome! I'm looking foreward already...oh


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## Flatlander (Feb 14, 2007)

*Flatlander: At age 39 while showing your work at a major art gallery, you will be accosted and later slain by PETA activists.
*
Of course.  You should see the artwork.....


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## hong kong fooey (Feb 14, 2007)

i hope this thig is wrong

*joseph: At age 55 you will die from a lethal overdose of methamphetamines*


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> *ushidomartialarts: At age 87 your head will explode after being exposed to Britney Spears for thirty-six consecutive hours!*
> 
> 
> no! no! please god no!


 
I was gonna say something about your exploding head but figured the Mods would be upset so I wil say nothing..


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## bydand (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> I was gonna say something about your exploding head but figured the Mods would be upset so I wil say nothing..



:lfao: That is just wrong!  I love it!  :lfao:


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## bluemtn (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> I was gonna say something about your exploding head but figured the Mods would be upset so I wil say nothing..


 
No problem, just take it to the "Premium" club!


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

tkdgirl said:


> *Kerri: At age 73 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill.*
> 
> I kid you not, that's what was generated! I better stay away from electric fences, then.:uhyeah:
> 
> I thought that required a little something extra that I don't have (physically, that is)?


 
Tsk, tsk, one would hope that at 73 you'd be smart enough not to bow to peer pressure


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

tkdgirl said:


> No problem, just take it to the "Premium" club!


 

NO! The moment is gone..Let your imaginations run wild...


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## shesulsa (Feb 14, 2007)

JBrainard said:
			
		

> Oh, man! My work's firewall blocked the website. I really wanted to know how I would go. Damn, guess I'll just have to wait and find out.



Here ya go!



> JBrainard: At age 78 a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.


:ultracool


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## terryl965 (Feb 14, 2007)

*Terry: At age 95 you will be attacked by a pack of escaped lap dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again. *


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## g-bells (Feb 14, 2007)

at age 86 a tiger will maul you, don't ask why,but you will be in a burmese jungle


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## exile (Feb 14, 2007)

*exile: At age 90 you will fall from the fifth floor window of a hotel while under the influence of Robitussin DM.*

My first question: why would I be in a hotel? I have a perfectly good house. Next: if I fall from a window because of Robitussin, it probably means I have a cold. But if I'm 90, wouldn't the cold have a better chance of killing me in the first place? And would they really put a 90 year old man on the fifth floor? What kind of place would do that? So why am I staying in crummy, heartless hotels at age 90? 

This `answer' is leading to too  many harrowing questions!!... the only good thing is, apparently I at least get to live to be 90...


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## bluemtn (Feb 14, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Tsk, tsk, one would hope that at 73 you'd be smart enough not to bow to peer pressure


 
I know, but sometimes I just can't help myself!


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## donna (Feb 14, 2007)

* At age 95 a group of children will text message you continuously for three years, eventually distracting you while driving and causing a fatal wreck; your fatal wreck. *

I hate mobile phones!! I must be ok tho if I am still driving at 95 :ultracool


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## Blotan Hunka (Feb 14, 2007)

At age 85 while playing Tekken 23, a burgler will break into your house. A fight will ensue and you will lose.


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## MA-Caver (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> ANOTHER glorius death..I die playing a video game..:vu:



Well you ain't the only one homeboy!


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 14, 2007)

*At age 72 you will be trampled by a mob of rabid people at the opening of X-Men 17. *


alrighty then...but I am taking some of the rabid mob with me...


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## crushing (Feb 14, 2007)

*At age 88 aliens will abduct you and use your body for sick and often anally-oriented experiments before dropping you off outside of a local homeless shelter smelling of beer.*

At age 87 I think I'm going to start drinking the 'tussin and playing Tekken 23.


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## Aikikitty (Feb 14, 2007)

*At age 63 your prototype flying machine will work, and while aloft on its maiden voyage a passenger jet will take you into it's jet engine, and throw you out as a mist. *

Oh dear!  :lol: 

Robyn


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## Tames D (Feb 14, 2007)

*Qui-Gon: At age 78 you will die fighting the global war on terrorism in Mexico.*


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## Drac (Feb 15, 2007)

exile said:


> *exile: At age 90 you will fall from the fifth floor window of a hotel while under the influence of Robitussin DM.*
> 
> My first question: why would I be in a hotel? I have a perfectly good house. Next: if I fall from a window because of Robitussin, it probably means I have a cold. But if I'm 90, wouldn't the cold have a better chance of killing me in the first place? And would they really put a 90 year old man on the fifth floor? What kind of place would do that? So why am I staying in crummy, heartless hotels at age 90?
> 
> This `answer' is leading to too many harrowing questions!!... the only good thing is, apparently I at least get to live to be 90...


 
You ask TOO many flippin questions..Accept your fate...LOL


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