# Kosher computers



## Kacey (Dec 27, 2006)

[FONT=&quot]In case you need a new computer:
[FONT=&quot]I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase Kosher computers![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]They are made in [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Israel[/FONT][FONT=&quot] by a company called DELL-SHALOM. The price is so low even with the shipping from [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Israel[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. I bought one. I've been using it now for several weeks and highly recommend it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]However, before you purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there are some important changes from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" button.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]3) The cursor moves from right to left.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother knew you did this, she would die."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und dreck."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I should fix this?" message.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]10) It comes with two hard drives--one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]12) The multimedia player has been renamed, "Nu, so play my music already!"[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Vey."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchis."[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]18) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.[/FONT][/FONT]


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## morph4me (Dec 27, 2006)

Do you have to say a brocheh before you use it?


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## Kacey (Dec 27, 2006)

morph4me said:


> Do you have to say a brocheh before you use it?



I would think so... but what _is_ the prayer to say over computers?


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## morph4me (Dec 27, 2006)

Boruch hata adonai, elohaynu melech haolam, boray harddrive


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## terryl965 (Dec 27, 2006)

That is just great Kacey and Morph that is the proper prayer for a computer.


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## Ping898 (Dec 28, 2006)

hahaha


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## Brian R. VanCise (Dec 28, 2006)

:rofl:


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## Kreth (Dec 29, 2006)

So has the rubber coating on your peripheral cables been circumcised?


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## Carol (Dec 29, 2006)

The shielding has been properly cut away from the end of the cable, but I don't think there is anything in Jewish law that says you can't have a rubber coating on your male connectors.


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## Kacey (Dec 29, 2006)

Carol Kaur said:


> The shielding has been properly cut away from the end of the cable, but I don't think there is anything in Jewish law that says you can't have a rubber coating on your male connectors.


:roflmao:


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