# What is Marriage?



## theletch1 (Jan 13, 2004)

What is Marriage???? 
> 
>1. Marriage is not a word.  It's a sentence, a life sentence. 
> 
>2. Marriage is love.  Love is blind.  Therefore marriage is an 
>   institution for the blind. 
> 
>3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's 
>   Degree and the woman gets her Master's. 
> 
>4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring 
>   and suffer-ring. 
> 
>5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration.  In the 
>   first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. 
>   In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. 
>   In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens. 
> 
>6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with 
>   friends.  You order what you want, and when you see what the 
>   other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead. 
> 
>7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and 
>   found himself married.  A year later he muttered something in 
>   his sleep and found himself divorced. 
> 
>8. Son: "How much does it cost to get married, Dad?" 
>   Father: "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." 
> 
>9. Son: "Is it true, Dad?  I heard that in ancient China, 
>   a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her." 
>   Father: "That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!" 
> 
>10. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 
> 
>11. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, 
>    it is love; after marriage it is self-defense. 
> 
>12. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.  But when 
>    a man married ten years looks happy, we wonder why. 
> 
>13. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell 
>    for her.  They got married, and now he is going through HELL. 
> 
>14. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. 
>    They just can't face each other, but still they stay together. 
> 
>15. Marriage is when man and woman become one. The trouble starts 
>    when they try to decide which one. 
> 
>16. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. 
>    After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent. 
> 
>17. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, 
>    it only seems longer. 
> 
>18. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 
> 
>19. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 
>    "Aren't you wearing your ring on the wrong finger?" 
>    The other replied, "Yes, I am.  I married the wrong man." 
> 
>20. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished. 
> 
>21. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, 
>    he still ends up with the same boss. 
> 
>22. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.  The next day 
>    he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing, 
>    YOU CAN HAVE MINE. 
> 
>23. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can 
>    be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is. 
>


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## Chronuss (Jan 25, 2004)

wow....twenty-four more reasons to stay single.


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## Cruentus (Jan 26, 2004)

I'd better find out soon what marriage is. I'm getting hitched October 9th!


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## tshadowchaser (Jan 26, 2004)

I know better than to say anthing other than I have seen this page. Anything else will result in my supper being burnt, my bed being ice cold, and as soon as I take a shower she will do the dishes (useing the hot water). She of coures being the "boss" and keeper of the purse string.  
ever notice how when you where single you paid for everything and still had a little left over and being matrried you still pay for everything and she has some left over


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## Rich Parsons (Jan 26, 2004)

> _Originally posted by PAUL _
> *I'd better find out soon what marriage is. I'm getting hitched October 9th!  *



Paul,

Go Ask Kate, and she will tell you all you need tio know about what she expects from marriage


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## Chronuss (Jan 26, 2004)

"I missed my girlfriend yesterday....so...I backed up and tried again..."  :rofl: :rofl:


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## theletch1 (Jan 29, 2004)

Not sure if I should be worried or not, I got the original post for this thread in an e-mail from my wife.


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## Chronuss (Jan 29, 2004)

...think she's tryin' to tell you somethin'.....?


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## Ceicei (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *Not sure if I should be worried or not, I got the original post for this thread in an e-mail from my wife. *



She's probably trying to say "pay attention some more".

- Ceicei


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## edhead2000 (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Ceicei _
> *She's probably trying to say "pay attention some more".
> 
> - Ceicei *




Or, "aren't you glad I'm not like this?!?!?.......now pay more attention to me!"


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## theletch1 (Jan 29, 2004)

My wife has nothing to complain about in the paying attention department.  She is doted upon, spoiled rotten and has every spare moment of my time.  I've never missed a b-day, valentines day or anniversary and I even acknowledge the anniversary of our first date every year.  She gets flowers for no reason, love notes in her e-mail box and time to do the things she wants to do with her friends while I stay home with the young-uns when my oldest daughter isn't available to babysit.  More attention indeed.


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## Chronuss (Jan 29, 2004)

> Originally posted by theletch1
> *My wife has nothing to complain about in the paying attention department.  She is doted upon, spoiled rotten and has every spare moment of my time.  I've never missed a b-day, valentines day or anniversary and I even acknowledge the anniversary of our first date every year.  She gets flowers for no reason, love notes in her e-mail box and time to do the things she wants to do with her friends while I stay home with the young-uns when my oldest daughter isn't available to babysit.  More attention indeed. *



you go.


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## edhead2000 (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *My wife has nothing to complain about in the paying attention department.  She is doted upon, spoiled rotten and has every spare moment of my time.  I've never missed a b-day, valentines day or anniversary and I even acknowledge the anniversary of our first date every year.  She gets flowers for no reason, love notes in her e-mail box and time to do the things she wants to do with her friends while I stay home with the young-uns when my oldest daughter isn't available to babysit.  More attention indeed. *



The perfect man.......I didn't think he existed.


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## theletch1 (Jan 29, 2004)

> The perfect man.......I didn't think he existed.


 Far from perfect.  But I'm working on it.  It isn't a one sided relationship, though.  She's a good woman and I do my best to take care of her.
  My first wife used to get sooo pissed when her girlfriends would ask if she wanted to trade (not "swap") husbands.  Then I'd have to listen to the old "Every one thinks you're so perfect" speech.  Her parents didn't help any either.  She'd complain to them about an argument and their first question was always "Well, what did you do this time?"  Ah, well, life with a manic depressive who refused treatment can be so much fun


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## edhead2000 (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *Far from perfect.  *



Ah ha, my suspicions were correct.  He does not exist.  But then again, I already knew I was right, cause women are always right, right?


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## edhead2000 (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *  Ah, well, life with a manic depressive who refused treatment can be so much fun *



Or not!........scary.


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## FUZZYJ692000 (Jan 29, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *My wife has nothing to complain about in the paying attention department.  She is doted upon, spoiled rotten and has every spare moment of my time.  I've never missed a b-day, valentines day or anniversary and I even acknowledge the anniversary of our first date every year.  She gets flowers for no reason, love notes in her e-mail box and time to do the things she wants to do with her friends while I stay home with the young-uns when my oldest daughter isn't available to babysit.  More attention indeed. *



Do you have a brother???   think some of the guys on here need to take some notes


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## Chronuss (Jan 30, 2004)

> Originally posted by edhead2000
> *But then again, I already knew I was right, cause women are always right, right?  *



...boy...are you gonna get it.  :hammer:


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## edhead2000 (Jan 30, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Chronuss _
> *...boy...are you gonna get it.  :hammer: *



Just stating the truth


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## Seig (Feb 4, 2004)

There are many secrets to a happy marriage, and those of us that are happily married ain't telling.  We have too much fun laughing at the rest of you.


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## Chronuss (Feb 5, 2004)

guess it's a good thing I don't wanna get married, ain't it?  :shrug:


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## edhead2000 (Feb 5, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Chronuss _
> *guess it's a good thing I don't wanna get married, ain't it?  :shrug: *



good thing for who? you or HER! :rofl:


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## FUZZYJ692000 (Feb 5, 2004)

> _Originally posted by edhead2000 _
> *good thing for who? you or HER! :rofl: *



Society...that would be larger possibility of little yettis running around


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## Chronuss (Feb 5, 2004)

> Originally posted by edhead2000
> *good thing for who? you or HER! :rofl: *



both.


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## Chronuss (Feb 5, 2004)

> Originally posted by FUZZYJ692000
> *Society...that would be larger possibility of little yettis running around  *



...there shan't ever be little yettis running around...


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## edhead2000 (Feb 5, 2004)

> _Originally posted by FUZZYJ692000 _
> *Society...that would be larger possibility of little yettis running around  *



The way the guys on this board talk, the possibility is actually probably greater if he DOESN'T get married........:rofl: :rofl:


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## Chronuss (Feb 5, 2004)

...that's not even funny.


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## Seig (Feb 5, 2004)

People cause 90% of all accidents, 90% of all people are caused by accident.


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## theletch1 (Feb 6, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Seig _
> *People cause 90% of all accidents, 90% of all people are caused by accident. *


 This should be emblazoned over the entrance to every highschool and college campus building in the country.


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## Seig (Feb 6, 2004)

> _Originally posted by theletch1 _
> *This should be emblazoned over the entrance to every highschool and college campus building in the country. *


It would put most of them into therapy.


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## jfarnsworth (Feb 7, 2004)

I will not comment on such topics of marriage.:asian:


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## theletch1 (Feb 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *I will not comment on such topics of marriage.:asian: *


 Wise, wise choice, Jason.


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## Seig (Feb 9, 2004)

Jason, 
My friend, you need to put things in persoective.  Think of some of the great marriages: Burns and Allen, Bronson and Ireland, Smith and Wesson......


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