# On The Opposite of Triumph



## OnlyAnEgg (Mar 27, 2010)

I see it all around me:  in the flower trying to grow in full shade, in the plant that my cat stares at when I'm not looking, in my own desire to succeed and the frequent failure to do so.  Not so much in the actual failure; but, that area that surrounds it; the shadow that I strive against.

For example, I was doing quite well in MA for a few years.  I was in better shape, I got a few belts and placed in several many tourneys.  Success, right?  At least, successful.  When my daughters introduced me to WoW (Be warned, all you ADD people:  this will kill you), I did both MA and WoW for a while; but, but the time I hit 80, I had gained 8 lbs and nearly doubled my smoking and couldn't recall the last time I'd trained.  WoW win.  Life fail.

Now, as I approach 3 weeks after uninstalling and freezing my account, I see how much I've lost.  I had left WoW several times in the past, always to return; but, this time it really seems gone.  Like someone in another thread about not smoking said, 'There was no magical click in my mind the time I succeeded quitting'.  The desire to play is just not there, anymore.  As with any addiction, many things fell by the wayside.  These are the shadows I find myself in.

How then, do you deal with that region around failure?  It seems to me that the longer I remain in the neighborhood of defeat, the more likely defeat will find me.  How do you make your way back to an area where success and failure are on more equal footing?  

In return, a kitty!


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