# Strangest calls...



## jks9199 (Jun 20, 2010)

I thought it'd be amusing to throw this out.  For the cops, sheriffs, dispatchers, and the like out there...

What're some of the strangest or most unbelievable call you've received?

I'll give two to start:

First was from a shift in dispatch.  It was snowing pretty good, and they'd recently cleared trees and brush from along some powerlines that double as a Rails-To-Trails park.  Woman calls in, and she's worried.  You see, "the little birdies are going to get cold" since their nests and habitat got cut away...

Second...  From the street.  I was a rookie.  (Yeah, I'd handle it differently today.)  Got dispatched to help someone look for a lost cat in single digit temps because they didn't have any flashlights... and I did, for 20 or 30 minutes!  (Like I said... I'd handle it differently today!)


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## Bill Mattocks (Jun 21, 2010)

How much time do you have?  I've got a million of 'em...

How about the man who called 911 to report he was crossing the street and he got hit in the back of the head with a _'cosmo ray'_ which caused him to bite his tongue.

There was a woman who called to ask if CD players really had lasers in them.  Assured that yes, they did, but very little ones that could do no harm to her, she asked for a police officer to respond and remove it, because she was afraid the laser would get out and chase her dog.

Takes me back...


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## Archangel M (Jun 21, 2010)

A CIA operative broke into her house and injected her with a mind control drug, but it was acid and was eating away at her brain (look at the * nonexistent* needle marks!!!)...

There is a Skunk trapped under my shed! Sure enough all I see is the working end of a Skunk aimed at me. Call animal control..not me.

And the ever present "come be a parent to my kid" calls. I have lost count of how many rude, snotty, brats I have had to coerce or outright drag to school...


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## Bill Mattocks (Jun 21, 2010)

Speaking of animal control...

911 caller reports there are geese wandering around in the street.  Yes, they do that.  Well, can't you *do* something about it?

Another 911 caller reports deer have been eating her garden.  What did she think we were going to do, arrest the deer?

This one happened outside of our jurisdiction, but reminds one that Colorado still has rural areas; woman called 911 to report that a mountain lion had just eaten her dog.  Turned out she was right.  It came right down onto her back porch and ate Fifi, while she was sweeping the back porch, right in front of her.  Amazingly, it left when she hit it with her broom.  Too late for Fifi, though.

http://tiny.cc/301ot


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## Archangel M (Jun 21, 2010)

Removed ducklings from a storm drain....the frantic mother duck and their pathetic "peeping" overrode my "call animal control" response.


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## jks9199 (Jun 21, 2010)

I've had a couple of the "duckling crossing" calls over the years.  Don't always get there in time; at least, I did find pieces of duckling & feathers.  :shrug:

Just got reminded of a woman I dealt with for several weeks.  First time, it seemed to be a straightforward larceny case.  She was sure that some workers who had delivered some furniture stole her purse.  Well... a couple days later, it turns out she hid the purse so that they wouldn't steal it.  Which led to the "phone police."  See, it seems that the phone police were after all her bank records....  and were hiding and spying on her.  I even got accused of being with them...   Things got a lot better when her daugher got her meds adjusted!

Then there was the rabid woodchuck!  Guy calls; his house is on the market, he thinks that the woodchuck in his yard is rabid.  Get there... woodchuck is in a bush in back, and it's definitely acting wrong.  Not scared, not hiding...  and then it charged me!  It finally took shelter in a window well, so I ended up getting animal control to take care of it.  And, yes, after testing, it was rabid.


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## Bill Mattocks (Jun 21, 2010)

jks9199 said:


> Then there was the rabid woodchuck!  Guy calls; his house is on the market, he thinks that the woodchuck in his yard is rabid.  Get there... woodchuck is in a bush in back, and it's definitely acting wrong.  Not scared, not hiding...  and then it charged me!  It finally took shelter in a window well, so I ended up getting animal control to take care of it.  And, yes, after testing, it was rabid.



Reminds me.  If you ever have a bat fly into your house, don't tell animal control that you shooed it out with a broom.  It doesn't matter if you think you didn't get bitten or not; you're going to get the rabies treatment.  And believe me, you don't want to.  If you get bit, that's one thing.  But at least where I lived, if they were close enough to bite you, that's close enough to get the treatment - by law.


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## Ken Morgan (Jun 21, 2010)

Bill Mattocks said:


> How about the man who called 911 to report he was crossing the street and he got hit in the back of the head with a _'cosmo ray'_ which caused him to bite his tongue.


 
Idiot. 
Everyone knows a well made tinfoil hat will protect you!


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## MA-Caver (Jun 21, 2010)

Bill Mattocks said:


> Reminds me.  If you ever have a bat fly into your house, don't tell animal control that you shooed it out with a broom.  It doesn't matter if you think you didn't get bitten or not; you're going to get the rabies treatment.  And believe me, you don't want to.  If you get bit, that's one thing.  But at least where I lived, if they were close enough to bite you, that's close enough to get the treatment - by law.


Even better don't even tell them that you got bats. Open the doors and windows and take a towel and lightly ... LIGHTLY flap it at the animal until it's radar spots the open door/windows and it'll fly out on it's own. 

Bats do get rabies... about 1 out of 100,000 so what are the odds? About the same as winning a million bucks on Deal or No Deal.


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## Bill Mattocks (Jun 22, 2010)

MA-Caver said:


> Even better don't even tell them that you got bats. Open the doors and windows and take a towel and lightly ... LIGHTLY flap it at the animal until it's radar spots the open door/windows and it'll fly out on it's own.
> 
> Bats do get rabies... about 1 out of 100,000 so what are the odds? About the same as winning a million bucks on Deal or No Deal.



Well, despite the odds, if I got bit, I'd voluntarily submit myself to the shots, painful as they are.  However, I think I know if I got bit or not; the animal control statutes where where I used to live said that if bats were anywhere near a person and they COULD have bitten, then that person must undergo the treatment by law; they could be taken into custody and strapped down and forced to undergo the treatment if they refused.  Many people found out the hard way that just reporting they were near a bat was a one-way ticket to a series of very painful injections.


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## Bruno@MT (Jun 22, 2010)

Interesting. When I grew up we had over a hundreds bats living in the false ceiling over the porch at the back door. Never bothered us once. At twilight you could see them coming out of the shelter one after the other. They sure kept the area bug free.


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## Drac (Jun 22, 2010)

The lady that called dispatch and said her funiture is moving...The one that called and said her neighbors are planting crabgrass on her lawn at night...


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## Xue Sheng (Jun 22, 2010)

Man called to report that a woman was running up behind him and zapping him in the butt with a cattle prod. He never saw her, but he knew it was a woman because he could hear her running in high heel shoes and he felt the zap and he did have burn marks on the back of his pants. Same guy was carrying (no exaggeration, my best guess) 800 keys in a back pack because that was the only way the CIA could not find him since they were looking for him to do a job. He was a trained killer after all.

Another needed transport to the ER because he was dead.


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## David43515 (Jun 22, 2010)

Bill Mattocks said:


> Well, despite the odds, if I got bit, I'd voluntarily submit myself to the shots, painful as they are. However, I think I know if I got bit or not; the animal control statutes where where I used to live said that if bats were anywhere near a person and they COULD have bitten, then that person must undergo the treatment by law; they could be taken into custody and strapped down and forced to undergo the treatment if they refused. Many people found out the hard way that just reporting they were near a bat was a one-way ticket to a series of very painful injections.


 
That`s a wierd law. When I went through EMT training we were told again and again that if someone refused treatment all you could do was wait around for them to pass out and then proceed on "implied consent". It was drummed into us that treating someone against thier will was considered assault in Ohio.


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## Bikewr (Jul 8, 2010)

Hehe-- Brings back memories.   The lady who was getting poison gas under her door, the one who thought the local Dodge dealer was shooting laser beams at her, the guy with the tin-foil-stuffed helmet....

But one of the oddest (and most disturbing) I recall came in as a domestic disturbance.   
We arrived to find a very upset grandfather-type, an equally-upset 14-year-old girl, and an 18-year-old young man.

Seems the young man was the boyfriend of the young girl's older sister.  Being a nice young hoosier, he tells his girlfriend.."I sure would like to get a piece of your sister."
Being a nice young hoosier girl (not to malign residents of Indiana, we use the word locally to describe "rednecks" or "white trash") she says, "I wouldn't want her to do anything she didn't want to", and arranges to have her home alone with the boyfriend.
Boyfriend tries to get amorous... Younger sister panics and starts screaming, granddad calls police.
Unbelievable.


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## punisher73 (Jul 8, 2010)

Soon after 9/11 and the Anthrax scare, older woman called in and said that some terrorist had snuck into her basement and had sprinkled anthrax powder around all the edges of her walls.  Got there and she had just started getting her basement refinished and the drywaller was putting up drywall etc.

Had a guy one time come up to me and thank me for the job etc, which is always appreciated and talked about his family that had once worked in law enforcement.  Then out of the blue, he starts telling me how his brother was kidnapped a week ago by a band of gypsies.

Lady walks up to where I am parked holding an old shoe box.  She opens it up and there is an injured bird in it and wants to know if I can do something about it.  Then another 9-1-1 call because there were ducks sitting on the frozen pond and they might get stuck to the ice.

Guy knocks on the door to our substation and wants to make a complaint because there was a nationwide conspiracy against him by semi truck drivers.  They ALL drove behind him with their lights on in an attempt to blind him and run him off the road.


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## punisher73 (Jul 8, 2010)

Slightly before my time at the department, one of our guys used to get called out to this particular house because aliens had been messing with the house.  Well, this time he again states that aliens had messed with the house and had implanted stuff into the electric outlets of the house to spy on him.  Our deputy being of quick wit, gets out his PBT and starts to push the purge button in front of each outlet and then show the guy the .00 reading and tell him that they had been deactivated, he did that for the whole house and told him his house was all clear.  It worked, the guy NEVER called back in for that again.


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## jks9199 (Jul 8, 2010)

A guy used to live near the PD.  He had a unique take on the world, to say the least...

He was sure that his landlord was involved in numerous conspiracies against him, to kill his parents, and other illegal activity...  Like the day he walks into the station, and proceeds to tell us how his landlord is involved in cocaine sales.  Seems he overheard the landlord talk about snow coming in...  Of course, the fact that this was in January, and the weather forecast was for anything from flurries to several inches of frozen precipitation had nothing to do with the landlord's statements...


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## Archangel M (Jul 8, 2010)

punisher73 said:


> Soon after 9/11 and the Anthrax scare, older woman called in and said that some terrorist had snuck into her basement and had sprinkled anthrax powder around all the edges of her walls.  Got there and she had just started getting her basement refinished and the drywaller was putting up drywall etc.
> 
> Had a guy one time come up to me and thank me for the job etc, which is always appreciated and talked about his family that had once worked in law enforcement.  Then out of the blue, he starts telling me how his brother was kidnapped a week ago by a band of gypsies.
> 
> ...



God! I forgot about the Anthrax scare. I could flood the thread with all the crazy stuff people thought was contaminated. Like a terrorist is going to break into your car and sprinkle your baby car seat with Anthrax lady. It's powdered sugar!!


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## jks9199 (Jul 8, 2010)

Archangel M said:


> God! I forgot about the Anthrax scare. I could flood the thread with all the crazy stuff people thought was contaminated. Like a terrorist is going to break into your car and sprinkle your baby car seat with Anthrax lady. It's powdered sugar!!


Wait, you mean the white powder spilled on the floor at the laundromat WASN'T anthrax?!  (Yep, really got that one.)

Then there was this one:  We get called to the headquarters of a huge banking institution, with branches all over the world.  Sometimes, when people open new accounts, they send out little stuffed animals to the new account holders.  Cute little give away, right?

One day, a package comes into the office.  Passes through receiving, the mail room and gets to someone's desk.  As they start to open it, it starts to play music, and they can see some sort of foreign writing on it.  YIKES!  Call the cops.

It gets taken down to the loading dock, and we start looking at it.  Finally, the sarge and I decide we'll take a chance, and open it further, since it's already half open and had been moved around so much.  So we're gingerly pulling the flaps of the box up, moving the packing peanuts one at a time... and we unearth more foreign writing.  Looks maybe Chinese or Japanese...  Move the next flap, and get some more packing material out of the way...

and

It's a toy.  Some little plastic dog/robot toy thing with several buttons that plays various tunes when the buttons are pressed! 

No idea why it was sent... all we can figure is someone got a toy, so returned a toy.


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 8, 2010)

During the anthrax scare a 8 x 8 Package arrives for a commissioner of a state office it is covered with Arabic writing and Muslim symbols that everyone is afraid to touch so they put it on my desk and then immediately run back to their office and call the Bomb squad without any word to me other than HERE. The bomb squad arrives opens it to find a VHS tape that was of a guy spouting threats against said commissioner. He left a return address on the tape.

During that same time a call from a state office mailroom that there is white powder spread all over and they want it checked it could be anthrax.. turns out that if you work in a mailroom that envelopes are great at producing white dust after a few yearsit had been there for years and they did not notice it until after the anthrax scare started.


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## punisher73 (Jul 9, 2010)

There was a new female officer at one of the neighboring PD's in our county.  Her dad was a retired city officer and she had worked in our jail for a shorttime before leaving "to go to a real department".  Anyway, one day she calls in a bomb and has the road shut down both ways to create a perimeter to get it checked out.  It was one of the MDOT traffic counter devices that they chain to a sign and have the rubber rose running across to count cars etc.  (she was let go shortly after that and is no longer in LE).

Recently, our dispatch center just split into two locations and divided how calls are routed.  MANY people were not happy with that since some calls took a long time to be rerouted to the appropriate center.  A plain brown package all taped up is left by a door with no markings on it at all to the new dispatch center.  Fearing a REALLY unhappy citizen, they take precautions and evacuate the new center and send in the bomb squad to investigate.  They open the package and find out that they are the new crisis management plans that were to be delivered!  LOL talk about ironic.


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## Bruno@MT (Jul 9, 2010)

David43515 said:


> That`s a wierd law. When I went through EMT training we were told again and again that if someone refused treatment all you could do was wait around for them to pass out and then proceed on "implied consent". It was drummed into us that treating someone against thier will was considered assault in Ohio.



Rabies and a couple of other things can earn you involuntary treatment because if you get it you can infect other people and it is not a pretty death. This is kinda like how smallpox inoculation was mandatory in several European countries until some time ago.

There are probably some other scenarios, but this is really no different than being committed. Only difference is you're not having mental issues but physical ones: you carry a deadly and infectious disease.


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## Drac (Jul 11, 2010)

Then there was the lady who regularly called the station to say that someone was on here property..Responding officers never found anyone and were treated to a 5-10 min story about how her children were pumping poison gas into here bedroom to kill her so they could take her land..


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## Balrog (Jul 15, 2010)

Many moons ago, I was a deputy sheriff.  I started out in Communications.

We had a regular caller, a little old lady who wasn't all there.  The aliens would land on her roof and then come down and pull the weeds up out of her flowerbed and eat them.  She didn't mind that, but she objected to the ray that they shined on her house that was causing the bricks to fall out.

One of the other dispatchers told her to wrap her house with aluminum foil; it would reflect the ray back on them.  About 4 hours later, the deputy who patrolled that district happened to drive by her house and called us on the phone dying with laughter.

Yep.  She had wrapped her house in foil.  Must have worked because she didn't call us any more after that.


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## Bikewr (Jul 28, 2010)

The delusions about being poisoned or gassed seem to be very common.  Way back when I was working in communications, we had a local woman who would come to the police station every Saturday to fill up a large container with water.
The evil folks couldn't have gotten the police department's water, could they?
Our lieutenant at the time got tired of this , and waited near the front desk one Saturday with a glass of water.
As the dear lady walked in with her bucket, he made a point of taking a long swig.   Then, he grabbed his throat and choked out...."They got ours too!"

She never returned.


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## jks9199 (Jul 28, 2010)

Bikewr said:


> The delusions about being poisoned or gassed seem to be very common.  Way back when I was working in communications, we had a local woman who would come to the police station every Saturday to fill up a large container with water.
> The evil folks couldn't have gotten the police department's water, could they?
> Our lieutenant at the time got tired of this , and waited near the front desk one Saturday with a glass of water.
> As the dear lady walked in with her bucket, he made a point of taking a long swig.   Then, he grabbed his throat and choked out...."They got ours too!"
> ...


My dad worked for the federal government, and was stationed overseas, at an embassy.  One day, a woman comes into the embassy, and is overjoyed to finally be drinking "American water" again.  (This was before the bottled water era...)  I don't think anyone was willing to explain to her that the water from the taps in the embassy came from the same municipal supply as everyone else on the street...


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## Big Don (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm loving these stories! Tell me more, please.


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## Cirdan (Jul 29, 2010)

This thread is hillarious!

I have a cousin who is a bit paranoid and get these strange ideas now and then. For instance when she saw that there were some cables running under a bridge in the neighborhood, she naturally concluded that the power company was using these to "steal her electricity".

Also, she figured out that some of the containers that come in at the docks are full of dead bodies. Asassinated victims of the italian mob to be precice. The local farmers then grind up the bodies and use them as fertilizer for their fields.


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## ballen0351 (Dec 30, 2010)

Had a guy tell me he was Jesus now that happens every now and then but this guy was good. I asked his name he told me Jesus and I asked his date of birth (now heres where I thought I had him until he answered me) he said Dec 25th. I said ok what year he came back with ZERO. 

Then there was the lady that said she had ghosts in her walls and called every night almost. So one night I took the taser out and told her it was an anti-ghost ray and set the taser off near all the walls in her house and told her they were all gone she never called again.

Had a lady call because the airplanes were to loud when they flew over her house.

And Ill never forget the Anthrax and the DC sniper calls. We must have stopped every white van and box truck in the tri state area.


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