# Things not to say to your sifu



## fist of fury (Feb 19, 2002)

not too sure if this has been posted before:

After his impressive breaking demo, say ' boards don't hit back 
Instead of bowing to him, raise your hand and say ' give me five 
What would you do if I shot you ? 
That looks just like Karate 
But WHY would a monkey steal a peach? 
Yes, sensei. 
'That looks more like an ape than a cat...' 
I'm just trying to sweat out a hangover today, so could you take it easy on me? 
When will I be a sifu? 
'You are not a Jedi yet.' 
Ever get your *** kicked ? 
That's not how Billy Blank punches. 
Can we start a Tae Bo class ? 
No, no, Sifu... it's like a finger pointing at the moon... 
No way! If a monkey fought a tiger then the monkey would NEVER win! 
Dragon Fan Form? So you've seen a dragon using a fan have you? 
How the hell can a panther make a fist? 
All right - now show us that again, but put these 18 hole Doc Martens on first. That's what people in the street wear 
Ah, so Jit Fu means Blocking Tiger. How many bullets can a tiger block? 
You come one step closer, old man, and you'll be coughing up pepper spray for a week! 
'What do I do with this long stick?' 
'Your kung fu may be good, but I bet I can drink you under the table...' 
'What do you do in real life?' 
That pushing hands didn't look real. He was just falling over for you." 
'The guy in the dojo down the road says your kung fu is pants...' 
'Aah! Daniel-san!' 
'Aah! Grasshopper!' 
(when sifu shows you a technique).."yeah, but check THIS out...". 
"...hmmm...yeah, that's cool, but I don't know if Bruce would do it that way...". 
I don't think you could hurt anyone with that technique. 
Bruce Lee was the greatest martial artist of all times. 
Wow, your daughter is one hot babe ! 
I can't get that block right, can you show me it again (P.S. Be sure to have cell phone pre-dialed to 911 if you use this. 
Oh, come on! That wouldn't really work. 
That workout wasn't tough at all.


----------



## Bob Hubbard (Feb 19, 2002)

You left out my favorite

"Sure I'll be the demo guy....but don't hold back, lets go full out".

:asian:


----------



## Yari (Feb 20, 2002)

Or try saying these:

Sissy
When are you starting the technic (after it's supposed to be done)
Even a dead cow looks better in that... (looking at the new patch on you intructors gi)
I'm faster than you!
Try doing it again, but correct this time (when getting up after a technic was shown on you)
Do you want me to treat you nicly and move slowly.....

/yari

trying these are on your own risk......


----------



## Kirk (Feb 20, 2002)

I'll call you Sifu, when you can snatch this pebble from my hand.


----------



## Yari (Feb 21, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *I'll call you Sifu, when you can snatch this pebble from my hand. *



Yeah.. and you glued it to the palm of your hand   :rofl: 


/yari


----------



## donald (Feb 21, 2002)

Dude, Who cut your hair?????

Salute in Christ,
Donald


----------

