# The Ick factor



## RTKDCMB (Jul 25, 2013)

Just curious but when grappling on the floor how do you deal with occasionally having your face so close to another mans groin or butt? I would find that rather unpleasant. Is it something you can desensitize yourself to or do you just get used to it over time?


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## MJS (Jul 25, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Just curious but when grappling on the floor how do you deal with occasionally having your face so close to another man&#8217;s groin or butt? I would find that rather unpleasant. Is it something you can desensitize yourself to or do you just get used to it over time?



I suppose you can add the guard and north/south positions to that list as well. 

To answer your question though...it's just part of the game.  It's really no different than a male and a female grappling.  Given the fact that you're going to be very close, you have a choice...accept it/learn to desensitize yourself or just find a different art to train in.


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## Steve (Jul 25, 2013)

If you don't like it, get better at grappling.


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## Tony Dismukes (Jul 25, 2013)

There's no real "ick"factor as far as I'm concerned.  When I'm grappling, I'm too concerned with improving my position to worry about whether I'm violating the normal socially-mandated groin buffer zone.

What _is_ unpleasant is being in the bottom of north-south position when the top guy is using his cup as a weapon to crush my face.  That can be uncomfortable.


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## RTKDCMB (Jul 25, 2013)

Tony Dismukes said:


> There's no real "ick"factor as far as I'm concerned.  When I'm grappling, I'm too concerned with improving my position to worry about whether I'm violating the normal socially-mandated groin buffer zone.
> 
> What _is_ unpleasant is being in the bottom of north-south position when the top guy is using his cup as a weapon to crush my face.  That can be uncomfortable.



Probably not as unpleasant as if he let one rip at the wrong time.


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## Carol (Jul 25, 2013)

I am a very private person, but I have no issue with grappling.  Your mind is on saving your own butt, not being near someone else's.


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## Kframe (Jul 25, 2013)

Ill admit that the first few times I was mounted, or had to take back mount were horrifying to me.


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## RTKDCMB (Jul 25, 2013)

Kframe said:


> Ill admit that the first few times I was mounted, or had to take back mount were horrifying to me.



How did you get past it?


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jul 25, 2013)

Train and do not worry about it.  Concentrate on what you are doing and your technique, position, etc....


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## jks9199 (Jul 26, 2013)

It's never really been something I've worried about in wrestling and grappling exercises.  Maybe a little self-conscious sometimes with a female...  but even that goes away if she's making me pay attention to what I'm doing.


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## Kframe (Jul 26, 2013)

I had to get over it quickly as I could. Focusing on my phobia would have prevented me from learning anything. I honestly got over it quickly,  and part of the reason is I felt reasonably safe in the fact that no one was going to try and get fresh with me. They all had assured me that It was normal for a guy to feel awkward the first few times.

Like others have said, you just got to deal with it and train, and eventually you wont think about it. That time comes fast in grappling arts because if you don't pay attention, it tends to be a painful mistake..


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## frank raud (Jul 27, 2013)

RTKDCMB said:


> Just curious but when grappling on the floor how do you deal with occasionally having your face so close to another man&#8217;s groin or butt? I would find that rather unpleasant. Is it something you can desensitize yourself to or do you just get used to it over time?


 Grappling involves being in bad breath range and dealing with another sweaty and possibly odiferous individual. But if you have time to consider the view, then either you are not training hard enough, or as Steve says, you need to get better at grappling.


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## Dirty Dog (Jul 27, 2013)

Considering the things I see in the ER, a persons clothed groin ain't no big deal...


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## zDom (Jul 30, 2013)

Tony Dismukes said:


> What _is_ unpleasant is being in the bottom of north-south position when the top guy is using his cup as a weapon to crush my face.  That can be uncomfortable.



Only slightly less unpleasant than same scenario minus the cup.


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## RTKDCMB (Dec 19, 2013)

Dirty Dog said:


> Considering the things I see in the ER, a persons clothed groin ain't no big deal...



I should imagine that seeing it and having it on your face are two entirely different things.


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## wingchun100 (Feb 27, 2014)

I think I'd be too worried about them getting in an arm bar or twisting my limbs in a way they weren't designed to go. LOL


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## drop bear (Feb 27, 2014)

RTKDCMB said:


> Just curious but when grappling on the floor how do you deal with occasionally having your face so close to another mans groin or butt? I would find that rather unpleasant. Is it something you can desensitize yourself to or do you just get used to it over time?




I was talking to a very competitive mma fighter and we were joking about this. People watch never back down and think mma is cool. Mma is not cool. There are no hot girls and parties there is just a sweaty guy sitting in mount punching you in the face.

Look you get over it and train professionally.

You want ick? at the last fight I was helping out at a boxer who had his gloves signed.(which means he cannot take them off) had forgotten to put his groin guard in.

Guess who had to do that?


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## drop bear (Feb 27, 2014)

RTKDCMB said:


> Probably not as unpleasant as if he let one rip at the wrong time.


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## TheArtofDave (Apr 6, 2015)

Before my training came to an abrupt end in bjj because of a tough personal decision they told me to keep moving when rolling. When another person is trying to submit you a butt being in your face is the least of your concerns.


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## AlphaBJJ (Apr 14, 2015)

This can be more of an issue for some people than others.  There's no real quick fix if it is.  However, if you continue to train, it will start to diminish and eventually go away altogether.  For me, its about focusing on fixing the problem.  That's all a negative position is- a problem to solve.  Each problem will be different based on your attributes, your partner, the energy he or she is giving you, etc.  So by focusing on those factors, you minimize focusing on the proximity.  

After awhile, you're simply identifying problems and finding solutions without concern for things like this.  Good luck and keep us posted on your advancement.


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## Sub Zero (May 26, 2015)

Never an ick factor.  Now,  some of the problems you described I felt while rolling against girls in my class.  Obviously I don't feel "icky" but am very conscious not to touch their private areas when I can avoid it.


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