# The Guys' Rules...



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 12, 2004)

In an effort to better understand...Is this how ya really see it? :shrug:  
*The Guys' Rules *

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down 

Finally, the guys' side of the story. ...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. 
Now here are the rules from the male side. 

These are our rules! 

Please note... these are all numbered "1" 

ON PURPOSE! 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 

We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: 

Subtle hints do not work! 

Strong hints do not work! 

Obvious hints do not work! 

Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 

1. Thank you for reading this. 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


----------



## Zepp (Jul 12, 2004)

Rules 1 and 1 don't always apply, depending on the guy.  But rules 1, 1, and 1 definitely always do. 

Does that help?


----------



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 12, 2004)

Zepp said:
			
		

> Rules 1 and 1 don't always apply, depending on the guy. But rules 1, 1, and 1 definitely always do.
> 
> Does that help?


LOL :boing2: NOOOOO!


----------



## Enson (Jul 12, 2004)

i loved those! very funny.


----------



## TKD USA (Jul 12, 2004)

You really got that down packed, but you forgot beer is like food to us
and food is like oxygen. too bad I'm under age for both 

I'm sorry it's really not funny:idunno:


----------



## TigerWoman (Jul 13, 2004)

Ahem, but just try to assert those "rules" ...
that will be a completely different storyyou do know that they only exist in the male mind.... TW


----------



## Rob Broad (Jul 13, 2004)

I have always had a much simpler of rules I have lived by, it goes lik this.

Women Are Better!!!

I am man she is woman,  Man plus the Wo of woman, more is better.  I am he, she is she, again more is better,  I am male she is female, and as every guy knows if there is a fee involved when relating to a woman we just paid it.


----------



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 13, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> Ahem, but just try to assert those "rules" ...
> that will be a completely different storyyou do know that they only exist in the male mind.... TW


TW *giggle giggle*:boing2:


----------



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 13, 2004)

Rob Broad said:
			
		

> I have always had a much simpler of rules I have lived by, it goes lik this.
> 
> Women Are Better!!!
> 
> I am man she is woman, Man plus the Wo of woman, more is better. I am he, she is she, again more is better, I am male she is female, and as every guy knows if there is a fee involved when relating to a woman we just paid it.


  Note to self:   Hmmm....From my observations here it appears that the species is perhaps beginning to evolve... artyon: 

Must explore this further....


----------



## Rich Parsons (Jul 13, 2004)

mj-hi-yah said:
			
		

> Note to self:   Hmmm....From my observations here it appears that the species is perhaps beginning to evolve... artyon:
> 
> Must explore this further....



MJ,


What is the 'Fee' to explore this futher? :rofl:

I could not resist


----------



## mj-hi-yah (Jul 13, 2004)

Rich Parsons said:
			
		

> What is the 'Fee' to explore this futher?


 As with all things womanly the answer to that can be found in Girls' Rules # 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 , 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 222, 23, 24, 254, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, ..................(ooof ...*blowing bangs out of eyes*.....fingers getting tired) :boing1:...... 999,678,675,998,332,445,109... Basically Rich, ya need to read the entire rule book before signing up for the fine print on the fees :rofl: :lol:  



> I could not resist


Yes :lol: I see a pattern emerging here with that, hmm..., I might have a way to help:whip: , but I'll have to look back and see if behavior mod violates Guys' Rules # 1. 
:rofl: hee hee he

MJ :uhyeah:


----------

