# gift giving etiquette for instructors



## rachel (Dec 19, 2002)

what is proper as far as giving your instructor a xmas gift? Just give something from your child(who takes lessons too) or from both of you? any thoughts? ideas? thanks in advance!


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## Seig (Dec 19, 2002)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *what is proper as far as giving your instructor a xmas gift? Just give something from your child(who takes lessons too) or from both of you? any thoughts? ideas? thanks in advance! *


Make it heart felt and inexpensive.  You do not want to make them feel bad by spending a fortune if they have given no gift to you outside of your training.


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## Michael Billings (Dec 20, 2002)

1. Another Parker II knife;
2. A black corvette;
3. One of Mike Pick's fighting knives;
4. A winning lottery ticket.

No seriously, I think it is more appropriate for the class to give an instructor a present.  That way he/she does not feel obligated to give each sender a gift in return.  (Not that he/she should, reference Giri for the student - and shibumi for the teacher.)  It is already a reciprocal relationship to me, I learn by teaching, or at least try to.  

Try not to create more of a sense of obligation that you have to.  I got a Parker  I knife a coupe or five years ago from my whole class.  This meant more to me than I can describe ... and it was not expected.  By everyone pitching in and pooling their resources, you can purchase or make, a much nicer present than the individual student can afford.  (reference gift #2 on my list above.  

I do not encourage giving the instructor a gift - a lot of traditional or ravenous individuals may want all the stuff they can get from their students, but to me, it creates a sense of Giri, or duty back to the student that I may not be willing to give.  Of course chocolate and cookies are always accepted.

Oss,
-Michael


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## KenpoTess (Dec 22, 2002)

> _Originally posted by rachel _
> *what is proper as far as giving your instructor a xmas gift? Just give something from your child(who takes lessons too) or from both of you? any thoughts? ideas? thanks in advance! *



I was tickled with just the cards we received.. with  heartfelt note inside from our students 

I always feel a bit embarrassed when a student gives a gift and I have nothing to reciprocate with.. so maybe just a card (especially the first Christmas) would be appropo *S*
course cookies are good..*w*


Tess


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## Old Warrior (Dec 22, 2002)

"I always feel a bit embarrassed when a student gives a gift and I have nothing to reciprocate with. so maybe just a card (especially the first Christmas) would be appropo *S*" 

Why?  You've done your best to teach a student a difficult art.  If the student wishes to acknowledge your sincere effort - learn to accept the thought and just say "Thank You".  I wrote a nice humble, self depricating note that I enclosed with the gift I gave to my Kumdo teacher.  My only hope is that the Master will have someone translate it into Korean.


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## Kirk (Dec 22, 2002)

A friend of mine who studies kendo in Houston said that the dojo
collectively gets the owner of the dojo a gift on christmas and his
birthday.  Most of the time, it's been something for the school, like
mats, mirrors, equipment, etc.  It's a pretty big school, and this
year, they all bought him a $5,000 kyoto(sp?) sword, to replace 
one he sold back in the early 80's when the dojo was still 
struggling.  

I was touched enough to ask the guys in my school if they wanted
to chip in for a gift, and I got pure silence in the locker room.  To
each his own.  Next year, I'm going to buy that 3 foot diameter
Universal Pattern that Ron Whipple sells.  If anyone wants to chip
in before I give it to him, fine, their name will go on the "From:" 
tag with mine.  If not, I'm still doing it.


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## arnisador (Dec 22, 2002)

A group gift is a good idea. Another common approach is to get something for the _school_ rather than the instructor. Is there something it clearly needs? At one school I studied at the instructor's clock lost time so rapidly that he never knew when to start class. Several students got him a clock. It was really appreciated and practical. It can be that simple.


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## KenpoTess (Dec 22, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *A friend of mine who studies kendo in Houston said that the dojo
> collectively gets the owner of the dojo a gift on christmas and his
> birthday.  Most of the time, it's been something for the school, like
> ...



we Tried that last year.. the group gift for Seig.. no problem getting the money together.. but it was a hassle trying to wait for it to arrive and finally did Months later from an online site.. this year we are just having a small potluck at the school (tonight actually)  It is a nice gesture for the Head Instructor 
Good to see you Kirk.. Happy Holidays~!

Tess


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## jfarnsworth (Dec 22, 2002)

I think a gift certificate for the instructor and significant other is quite nice. Given by the entire class this way it can be a better cert. for a nicer resteraunt.


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## Seig (Dec 22, 2002)

Test Dummy and Fuzzy gave us a gift certificate to the local chinese place.  That was really nice.


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## jfarnsworth (Dec 22, 2002)

We went to our local chinese buffet today as well. I love frog legs and put a pretty good dent in the pan/


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## Seig (Dec 22, 2002)

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *We went to our local chinese buffet today as well. I love frog legs and put a pretty good dent in the pan/  *


I hope the proceeds went to wheel chairs for the poor little critters!


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## jfarnsworth (Dec 22, 2002)

It must be tough to be them. Heather didn't want to even touch them. I ate about 20 - 25 of the little guys.


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## Seig (Dec 22, 2002)

Frog murderer! :wah:


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## Michael Billings (Dec 22, 2002)

Home baked pastries were big this year, and much appreciated.  Thanks MIN and HAPPY BIRTHDAY on the 25th.

Home brewed beer, a whole case ... some english style ale (similar to Newcastle) and an american style ale (Samual Adams maybe?)  Some still needs to sit a while due to "yeast" issues.  Whatever, all I know is I appreciated the thought and plan on appreciating the product.

We, as a school, went out after advanced class Thursday for a meal and a brew.  It started the Christmas season off well.  

Thanks All & Merry Christmas,
-Michael


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