# Uh.....



## Bob Hubbard (Jul 1, 2010)

Not me, but funny.
====
 		Client: In the future, Id prefer not to pay you  to make websites for me. Ive seen what you do, and I think its pretty  easy. Can you just teach me how to do your web stuff? 

Me: If youre really interested, I guess I can  teach you the basics of web design, but its going to require at least  several lessons and itll cost $xx for every hour I spend with you. 

Client: GOD, do you have to charge for  everything?!?


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 2, 2010)

Again, not me, but some parts are familiar.

===
*She  Uses The Google*

Web Design | New York, USA
*Me:* &#8220;Hello, how can I help you?&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;Hi! I need a website&#8230;&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Okay. Well, to start, tell me a little about  what exactly you are looking for.&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;Nothing big&#8230;just 2-4 pages with my  company&#8217;s info, and our phone number. It wont need to be updated. I just  need a basic web page. I just opened a dog grooming business, and I  feel we need a site.&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Okay, well I would be glad to help you out&#8230;&#8221;
*
Client:* _*interrupts*_ &#8220;One catch though. My  friend told me that I need to get on Google.&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Yes, we offer Search Engine Optimization&#8230;&#8221; _*explains  SEO*_ &#8220;&#8230;and generally your page will be indexed within about a  month.&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;No, I need my site to be on Google  immediately! I want to be able to type in &#8216;Dog Grooming&#8217; and have it be  the first listing on Google. I need the site in about 4 days, and it has  to be on Google by then also.&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;I&#8217;m afraid thats impossible. Besides, you&#8217;re a  local dog groomer, in NY, you don&#8217;t need people to from California to be  able to find you. No offense but it&#8217;s not like people are going to fly  across the country to have you cut their dog&#8217;s hair.&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;I guess you&#8217;re right. Okay, well then lets  go with &#8216;local dog grooming&#8217; instead. How much do you charge for your  services?&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Well ma&#8217;am, I&#8217;m afraid it&#8217;s going to be  impossible to get your site built in 4 days and have it listed, by then,  as the number 1 result on the largest search engine, for a term as  broad as &#8216;Local Dog Grooming&#8217;, but we can come back to that. A ballpark  quote for your site, and this is just the design and upload&#8211;this is not  for the SEO you want&#8211;possibly&#8230;$250.&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;That is ridiculous&#8230;I am going to just buy  Dreamweaver. &#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Ma&#8217;am, just Dreamweaver alone is $399 and even  then you&#8217;re going to need to learn how to use it.&#8221;
*
Client:* &#8220;Well can you teach me?&#8221;
*
Me:* &#8220;Ummm&#8230;I don&#8217;t mean to sound rude, but I went to 4  years of school for this, and make a living doing web design. I don&#8217;t  feel comfortable training you. That&#8217;s sort of like if I were to come to  your establishment, and ask you if you could take your time to show me  how to properly cut my dogs hair, rather than paying you to do it.&#8221;
*
Client:* _*speaking to someone else near her*_  &#8220;The ***** people will tell you just to be able to steal your money!&#8221; _*click*_


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## Thesemindz (Jul 2, 2010)

My wife is a cosmetologist. Until she went to school I had no idea how technical a field that is, and by the time I pay off her student loans it will have cost nearly forty thousand dollars for her to get an education just good enough to be an absolute rank beginner.

People are constantly asking her for free services, or to teach them how to do their hair at home the way she does at the salon, or worst of all, doing their hair at home and destroying it and then asking her to fix it for free.

There's no respect for the massive amount of technical skill, or the huge financial investment we have made. Some people just think you're cheating then when you charge for your services.

Haircutting, karate, photography, web design. Everybody thinks it's so easy to figure it out on their own. Maybe for Musashi, but most people invest a lot in their education, and deserve to be compensated for their knowledge and skill.


-Rob


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## MBuzzy (Jul 2, 2010)

I love people, they are so inconsiderate and stupid.


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## MA-Caver (Jul 2, 2010)

MBuzzy said:


> I love people, they are so inconsiderate and stupid.


(insert agreeable with what you said sarcasm) Really? Gee I deal with at least 150 (new) people each day on my tours and I don't get that! 

Bob, thanks for sharing that with us... it's funny and yeah it gives insight to what you have to put up with on your end of the business of webpage design. 

Gee as if Google will automatically put your listing FIRST above all others and within 4 days! Wow... 
Hopefully she will get the same answer from other webpage designers but it's doubtful... you're probably one of the FEW honest webpage designers out there. I can bet some guy will say oh yeah I can have it up and running by the time your doors open. Then come up with some cagey excuses as to why it's not up yet... or simply ignore them after the check clears.


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 2, 2010)

I've been blessed in that the great majority of my clients have never hit me with the "can you take a couple minutes and tell me all you know so I can do it for free" bit.  To be honest, my main desire has always been to put as much power at "doing it yourself when you want it done" in my clients hands. So, I haven't had these hit me, yet.  But I've heard a lot of similar stories.

Hey, what's it take to be a web designer?
Nada.  Download a free site builder, or just steal a bootleg copy, and hang up your shingle. Set up any of a thousand free content managers, drop in some stolen artwork, and boom, you're in.
Me, I dropped serious cash for legal versions of my software, updating as needed (I hate Dreamweaver CS4 btw), spent maybe $5k-7k on a reference library and updated it yearly as new versions came out.  I maintain a business line (land line) and a cell line, and spend hours each week researching new ideas and concepts (used to spend a lot more time, but got too busy with the hosting to really stay as updated as I want to), regularly update on new search engine tweaks, etc etc etc.
My competition is seriously funded companies, and 14 yr olds running bootleg software on mommy's pc working for a new cd.  I regularly run into the "I'll just get a student do it for free lessons" bit, never mind that said student usually vanishes after 3 months, rarely does a serious job, and often loses interest and drags updates out forever. It's annoying, but it's what it is.

I'll gladly teach anyone what I know. As long as my time is fairly compensated for. And if you're charging $125/hr for a private, well, my time is as valuable at least as much as yours is. And, I get it. 
Cuz, I'm just that darn good. 

(No conceit here, nope. lol!)


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## Cryozombie (Jul 3, 2010)

Damn it Bob.  Teach me to do CSS and teach me NOW!


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

No. I let my wife choke you out in a hot tub. That's better than CSS.  LOL!


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## Big Don (Jul 3, 2010)

MA-Caver said:


> (insert agreeable with what you said sarcasm) Really? Gee I deal with at least 150 (new) people each day on my tours and I don't get that!


you poor bastard


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

*Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind*

Copy  Shop | San Francisco, CA, USA
_(Note: We always give a proof to customers prior to printing to  make sure they get what they want, then follow up with a phone call.)_
*Me:* &#8220;Hi, did you get the proof?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;Yes, go ahead and run the job.&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;Okay. Thanks.&#8221;
_(I print her stuff and have it delivered. She calls about an hour  later.)_
*Customer:* &#8220;I got my stuff but it&#8217;s wrong!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong with it?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;The color&#8217;s all wrong!&#8221;
*Me:* &#8220;But I printed them exactly like the proof!  Didn&#8217;t you say you got the proof and you approved it?&#8221;
*Customer:* &#8220;I&#8217;m supposed to LOOK at the proof?!&#8221;


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## Bob Hubbard (Jul 3, 2010)

ok, true story.  The last tale jogged my memory.

Way back when I was starting out I had a client. One of those 'connected' types. 'Knew' everyone.  I built the client a website. We went back and forth on all of the details. I would send in copies of every page for repeated mark ups and corrections. Finally I asked if everything looked good. I was told it did.  I asked if we should take the site live. I was told ok.

A year later I get a phone call with the client furious, screaming and swearing at me.
Seems I had angered them by daring to send them a bill for another years hosting.
Numerous profanities flowed. I was told they shouldn't have to pay for this site because they already had paid for lifetime hosting (the invoice sent out and paid previously had very specific dates on it)....that I hadn't done anything to promote their site (they had declined search engine optimization, and marketing training), and that it was "all wrong" anyway.

I pointed out the dates, past emails, and the declined services. I asked if they had put the web address on their business cards (no), their invoices (no), their receipts (no), a sign in their store (no) or window (no) or made any attempt to promote it (no). I also asked if there were problems with the content why had they not mentioned that earlier and why did they in fact ok all of the changes.

I was told they hadn't read them, and why should they, that was -my- job.

It was an interesting day.


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