# Insights into Yiliquan & Ryushikan backgrounds



## RyuShiKan (Jun 15, 2003)

I got this from Mr. Cobb from Down Under.

This is pretty funny stuff to most people not from the Midwest.
However,  when you actually are from there, like Yiliquan and myself it just seems normal. 
------------------------------------------------
A message from the Rural Midwest
 Because of the constant misunderstandings that frequently develop when
 East Coasters and Californians cross our beautiful lands here in the
 Midwest, the state tourism councils for the eleven states have adopted a
set of information guidelines to help those outsiders understand us a little better. The following list will be handed to each driver as they enter the state:

 1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
 breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

 2. It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it.
 Drive it or get the Hell out of the way!

 3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. We
 saw Bambi too, but we got over it.

 4. Any references to "corn-fed" women will get you your *** whipped... by
 our women.

 5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis fly rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for....bait.

 6. Pull your pants up...you look like an idiot.

 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
 final approach, you might not want to put it up to your ear. Just a little
 friendly advice.

 8. That's right. Whiskey costs two bucks. We buy a fifth for what you paid
 at the airport for one drink.

 9. You bring Coke into my house....it better be brown, wet and served over
 ice.

 10. So, you have a $60,000 Mercedes you only drive on the weekends?
We're not impressed. We have quarter-million dollar combines we only use two weeks a year.

 11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when
 it's red. We might even stop if it's yellow.

 12. Our women hunt, fish and drive trucks, because they want to. So,
you're a feminist.....isn't that cute?

 13. Yes, we eat catfish. Carp, too and sometimes turtle. If you want sushi
 and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.

 14. They're cows. They smell like that. Get over it. Don't like it...
I-70, I -80 and I -90 go East and West. I-29 and I-35 run North/South. Pick one and get the Hell out.

 15. The "opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
 experience. You can get breakfast at the church.

 16. Yes, every person in a pickup truck waves. It's called being friendly.

 17. Yes, we have golf courses. Don't hit it in the water....it spooks the
 fish.

 18. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like
 an idiot....his name is Sir....no matter how old he is.


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## Kempojujutsu (Jun 15, 2003)

Most of that is very true.
Bob:rofl:


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## Randy Strausbaugh (Jun 15, 2003)

Right on the money.  Funny because it's true. :rofl: 

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh


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## chufeng (Jun 15, 2003)

I was born and raised in Iowa...where you can actually hear the corn grow in the summer...and the gravel roads are actually easier to navigate in the winter because some moron hasn't run the blade of his grader one inch from the surface turning the normal streets into ice rinks...at least that's how it was when I was a kid (a long time ago)...but the midwest "attitude" sticks with ya' no matter how far away you roam.

:asian:
chufeng


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## yilisifu (Jun 15, 2003)

I guess I'm an oddity here in SE Iowa.  I can read and write.  I loved the "rules."  They're absolutely true!

   But a wave is done by lifting only one finger from the steering wheel.


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## RyuShiKan (Jun 16, 2003)

> _Originally posted by yilisifu _
> * But a wave is done by lifting only one finger from the steering wheel.
> *



Safety first ya know.
You also have to slump over the wheel a bit while driving as if you were out on a John Deere........


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## yilisifu (Jun 16, 2003)

That's right!  And you have to have at least one old junker rusting out somewhere in your yard.


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## RyuShiKan (Jun 16, 2003)

> _Originally posted by yilisifu _
> *That's right!  And you have to have at least one old junker rusting out somewhere in your yard. *




Junkers are called "Classics" where I am from


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## chufeng (Jun 16, 2003)

Of course you do, that's where the cats hang out when they're not mousing...

:asian:
chufeng

classic or junker...makes no difference to the cats


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## qizmoduis (Jun 16, 2003)

Are you sure this is about the Midwest?  I grew up in west-central PA, and it fits to a 'T'.  First day of deer season is a school holiday!

Well, except for the giant combines, I suppose.  They don't go up mountains very well.


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## Jill666 (Jun 16, 2003)

To be perfectly honest, I don't even know what a combine is...

please expain.


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## chufeng (Jun 16, 2003)

A combine is a "corn-picker" or a "wheat picker" or a "bean picker" depending on what you planted in the spring.

:asian:
chufeng


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## Jill666 (Jun 16, 2003)

Huge machine, you drive it, has what looks like a giant comb under the front and a big deposit area on that back? I think I've seen 'em...

Thanks you. :asian:


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## tonbo (Jun 16, 2003)

LOL....that was *great*!!

Right on the money!

Peace--


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## yilisifu (Jun 16, 2003)

Jill, you must be from Ireland's "midwest!"


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## Jill666 (Jun 16, 2003)

You're picturing me having sex outside on a combine aren't you!
Bad sifu! :rofl:


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## Randy Strausbaugh (Jun 17, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *You're picturing me having sex outside on a combine aren't you!
> Bad sifu! :rofl: *


Not until you mentioned it.  But now that you have....
Hmmmmmm. :boing2: 

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh


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