# Lies people tell to save the marriage ...



## shesulsa (Sep 7, 2005)

Inspired by this post ...


			
				upnorthkyosa said:
			
		

> Great, I can see the headlines now...
> 
> "Martial (marital) Talk Advocates Lying to Save Marriages"
> 
> If this is an official policy, perhaps Bob can add it to the rules forum...


 ... in this thread, I thought this would be an interesting and fun way to reveal and explore things we do to keep our sig others happy and ... well, to keep them as our others.

 I can think of many lies I've told to save my marriage, like ...

 I just love your new beard, honey.

 You sure do know how to barbecue.

 It's what I've always wanted.

 You have such good taste in jewelry.

_That_ (pant, pant) was _awesome_! (pant, pant)



 Have any you'd like to contribute?


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## Lisa (Sep 7, 2005)

"of course I care..."

"oh really that (insert type of gun/rifle here) really shoots (insert speed from chronograph here)  how interesting"...


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## Bigshadow (Sep 7, 2005)

Yes of course I am listening to you...

 Yes, that tea set is so cute!

 Yes, I want to go shopping with you...


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## The Kai (Sep 7, 2005)

No, I don't think the weight you put on is noticable at all.


Please, go on, I love hearing about your day.  Besides it's only been 45 minutes.

No I think it's great that you are wearing the same fashions as your teeneage niece


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## Makalakumu (Sep 7, 2005)

"Oh her, I don't find her attractive at all..."

"I was looking at her necklace.  I was thinking of getting the same one for you!"

"Sure we can just cuddle, we don't need to have sex ALL of the time..."


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## mj-hi-yah (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I just love your new beard, honey.
> 
> You sure do know how to barbecue.
> 
> ...


LOL sooo funny...ok:

I love kissing you after you've eaten a hot dog. (can't lie about the onions)

You should be a professional painter.

You look cool in those white socks.

Toeless slippers...very comfy - like air conditioning.

No need to wear cologne...it gives you that rugged kinda smell.

It's my pleasure to wash your 80 lb. gi soaked in man sweat. Oh and here let me take your basketball sweat laden socks and T-shirt too while I'm at it honey. (No, it's ok, I don't need the tongs.  )

I'm so glad you went out on a limb and got me the necklace with the *heavy *chain instead that crappy _delicate _one I cut out the picture of and put on the refrigerator for you. It's more durable.  

I'd love to take your mom shopping with me. :lookie:


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Sep 7, 2005)

No, Honey; those jeans don't make your butt look giganormous at all.

Even though you're an absolute peri-menopausal freak, I really enjoy spending time with you/around you.

Of course I don't mind driving you all the way across the L.A. basin in miserable traffic to look at special dog food.

That was one of the best shows we've seen on the WE channel yet.

No, really...I like being 6-foot, 3-inches, 235 pounds, broad-backed, and sharing a queen sized bed with you...and five dogs. It's cozy.

Gettin freaky once every couple months is more than enough for any man.

:bs: 

Best Regards,

Dave


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## hemi (Sep 7, 2005)

They both look good on you. 



Your new Short hair looks fine, it will grow back anyway.



I was listing to you I just wanted to see the end of this show. 



I think that color curtains will look good with this color paint in this room (God shoot me now) 



Oh I didnt notice the tall blond in the pool I was just looking at the shape of the pool. 



The best one, I dont care where we go eat just PICK someplace


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## shesulsa (Sep 7, 2005)

I love your hair JUST THE WAY IT IS.

 You don't have a beer belly, what are you talking about?


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Inspired by this post ...
> ... in this thread, I thought this would be an interesting and fun way to reveal and explore things we do to keep our sig others happy and ... well, to keep them as our others.
> 
> I can think of many lies I've told to save my marriage, like ...
> ...




As to Marital Talk, I had a manager walk into my open cube a few years ago and see a post I was about to make and thought the site was Marital Talk. I answered his question and went back to my post (* During lunch time so no issues *).  

Later he made a comment about me posting about my divorce, and I smiled and said actually, it was Martial Talk. He could understand that much more as he was a martial artists as well. 


Lies told:

Before: No, your mother is fine, and it is ok to go shopping.
During: No, your mother is fine, and it is ok to go shopping, just realize how much money we have, and do not over spend.
After breaking point:  No, your mother is fine, and it is NOT ok to go shopping, as I cannot compete with you father for being able to allow my wife to go spend as much as he can allow his wife to spend.

Oh yes, another winter Jacket. No, it will go great, and now I have so many options, from the last few years of gifts. The Wool over coat, The Rain Overcoat, The leather overcoat, The leather jacket, and now this one as well.

NOTE: The wool one was way to warm, unless outside walking a long distance, the rain one was nice, but made way too much noise, and the leather one worked fine. The Leather jacket was nice as well, and would work when not using the twice a year with the long coat. Yet, more were *needed*. 



Lies told to oneself:
She does not mean to spend so much that we cannot pay our bills or buy food. 

She will stop throwing those things at the wall. . .  (* Eventually, she will have to stop to go buy more stuff to go break *)



Truth told to try to save the marriage:

Honey, I really want to listen to your day, but I need a few minutes when I get through the door, to unwind from the hour pkus drive where there were accidents and people fighting, and roll overs, and ..., . No I am not trying to trivialize your day, I really want to listen and give it some thought, so I need to empty myself of long drive and bad day at work, so, just give me a few minutes to go to the bathroom and unwind. Do not talk to me through the door,, just let me decompress, and then I will be human again. I apologize for not being ready when I walk through the door, but this is the way I am, and I am asking.


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## KenpoEMT (Sep 7, 2005)

"No, no...I love the fact that you are a selfish shrew. It's endearing..."

"You're the only woman that I want to let destroy my life and sense of self worth. Honestly, sweetheart."

"Of course you can be the sole driver of our new car! Why on earth would I even want to drive it? No, no, no, I'm sure that all of those accidents were not your fault. You are an awesome driver..."

"Real men certainly do not desire to have sex with the love of their lives. That's just Hollywood..."

"Your delightful mother??? No, I did not say that she was spawned of Satan himself for the sole purpose of spending every second attempting to dominate our every choice together and ultimately destroy our marriage."

"Of course I don't think that you are to cowardly to stand up to your mother. It's good to show your parents some respect... I can prove that you are not a coward: Look at how aggressive and verbally abusive you are toward me. ...oh no, I...uh...I...meant that in a good way, sugar-puss..."

"It doesn't bother me at all to be threatened for no reason by your psychopathic, alcoholic, redneck, waste of human life, inbred family. It's actually quite entertaining  "

"I love pretending to be happy together."

"I don't mind it at all when you don't come home at night, and then some strange man drops you off in the morning... Really, that's just the way that I want to start my day....thinking of you  Annnnnnd, we get to have company for coffee!!! artyon: Yippee! artyon: 








:disgust:


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## Bigshadow (Sep 7, 2005)

Dang! Some of those are brutal!    I wish I could have come up with them!


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## Sapper6 (Sep 7, 2005)

and for when it doesn't quite work out, always a good tune to get you back on your feel... :ultracool 

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/wifemet.html


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## Cryozombie (Sep 7, 2005)

I used to say:

  Shut up!  I'm sick of listening to you babble on and on and on and on...

   (Hey, theres a reason  I am DIVORCED.)


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## shesulsa (Sep 7, 2005)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I used to say:
> 
> Shut up!  I'm sick of listening to you babble on and on and on and on...
> 
> (Hey, theres a reason  I am DIVORCED.)


 Yeah, see, you didn't lie.  :lol:


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## mj-hi-yah (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Yeah, see, you didn't lie. :lol:


 :lol2:


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## Raewyn (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I love your hair JUST THE WAY IT IS.
> 
> You don't have a beer belly, what are you talking about?


 Of course you dont have a beer belly, I would just call that resting muscle!!!!!!!


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## Chronuss (Sep 7, 2005)

Raewyn said:
			
		

> Of course you dont have a beer belly


if he starts calling it his tool shed, then you have problems...


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## shesulsa (Sep 7, 2005)

No, I'm not wearing the sunglasses to shade my eyes from the glare from your head.


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## Chronuss (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> No, I'm not wearing the sunglasses to shade my eyes from the glare from your head.


that's just the solar panel for the love machine.


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## Raewyn (Sep 7, 2005)

Im not mad at you...........


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## shesulsa (Sep 7, 2005)

Chronuss said:
			
		

> that's just the solar panel for the love machine.


 YES! 
 ...
 ...
 ... now if I could only get it to work right ....


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## Lisa (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> No, I'm not wearing the sunglasses to shade my eyes from the glare from your head.



LOL!

of course I don't think your going bald honey, and anyways I find it sexy


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## Chronuss (Sep 7, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> YES!
> ...
> ...
> ... now if I could only get it to work right ....


PEBCAK.

problem exists between chair and keyboard.


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## shesulsa (Sep 8, 2005)

Chronuss said:
			
		

> PEBCAK.
> 
> problem exists between chair and keyboard.


 You don't know HOW wrong you are.


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## Chronuss (Sep 8, 2005)

been there...done that...never returning.


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## DavidCC (Sep 8, 2005)

The one I tell : "yes, I agree"


The one she tells : "Yes, I was listening"


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## Raewyn (Sep 8, 2005)

DavidCC said:
			
		

> The one I tell : "yes, I agree"
> 
> 
> The one she tells : "Yes, I was listening"


 

I thought it was the other way around??   :ultracool


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## Cryozombie (Sep 8, 2005)

Another one of my classics was 

 "No honey that dress doesnt make you look fat.  All the fat in your *** makes you look fat."


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## shesulsa (Sep 8, 2005)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Another one of my classics was
> 
> "No honey that dress doesnt make you look fat.  All the fat in your *** makes you look fat."


 See?  See? What'd I tell ya? Lie, damn your ears, LIE!!!


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## jfarnsworth (Sep 8, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> No, I'm not wearing the sunglasses to shade my eyes from the glare from your head.


Now, that's just wickedly wrong.


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## arnisador (Sep 8, 2005)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Another one of my classics was
> 
> "No honey that dress doesnt make you look fat.  All the fat in your *** makes you look fat."


 I think that's one of Al Bundy's, actually!


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## shesulsa (Sep 9, 2005)

No, don't change your outfit - those clothes from high school still look great on you!

 You're feet aren't ugly, don't be ridiculous.

 Are you kidding?  Sex is the very, very first thing I want to do every morning - full bladder or not!

 You're right - the kids don't really need that physical exam once per year - let's only take them when they need antibiotics; cheaper that way.

 No, I didn't spend the whole day on the internet again, I was busy with kid stuff!

 Boy, you sure do smell good!


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## DavidCC (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *DavidCC*
_The one I tell : "yes, I agree"


The one she tells : "Yes, I was listening"_







			
				Raewyn said:
			
		

> I thought it was the other way around?? :ultracool


 
I don't bother to lie about not listening and she doesn't bother to lie about not agreeing.

Geez that is some kind of relationship-honesty calculus or something.  I have no idea how it works.


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## Chronuss (Sep 10, 2005)

...I'd rather write Java than do calculus......


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## arnisador (Sep 11, 2005)

Chronuss said:
			
		

> ...I'd rather write Java than do calculus......


 You're a sick man. Most folks would rather _drink_ java than do calculus.


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## Rich Parsons (Sep 11, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> You're a sick man. Most folks would rather _drink_ java than do calculus.




I need to see pictures of Java and Calculus 

Personally I rather use Calculus to solve a problem that can be easily written up in some form of code


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## Chronuss (Sep 11, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> You're a sick man. Most folks would rather _drink_ java than do calculus.


didn't like my calc teacher in highschool...we were always correcting her when she tried to show us how to solve a problem on the board...very frustrating.


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## shesulsa (Sep 12, 2005)

You're so much smarter than me.

 I love beer.

 I'd love to have your family over for a barbecue.

 I don't need you to kiss me, just do me, big fella.

 The cat's not as important as you.

 I can't imagine what I'd ever do without you.


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## The Kai (Sep 13, 2005)

You're right there is nothing as exciting as an afternoon shopping


Sure, what's a  little debt?

You're right people who work out all the time are gross


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## shesulsa (Sep 19, 2005)

What tattoo? :idunno:


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## Lisa (Sep 19, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> What tattoo? :idunno:




 :rofl:


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## Flatlander (Sep 19, 2005)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> I love beer.


How could you not?  Honestly though, I'm just as pleased if the beer in the fridge knows its mine and mine alone....


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## shesulsa (Sep 19, 2005)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> How could you not? Honestly though, I'm just as pleased if the beer in the fridge knows its mine and mine alone....


 Okay, you have your beer just for you and I'll have my *cough* beer *cough* just for me!


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## shesulsa (Sep 19, 2005)

No, honey, I don't mind if you drink beer every day.

  I'd LOVE some beer over my vanilla ice cream.

  Who needs wine? I have beer!

  Yes I'd love some more beer.

  I'll go get more beer and be back in FIVE MINUTES.

  Can't have enough beer!

  (just for you, Dan :uhyeah:  )


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## arnisador (Sep 19, 2005)

Sigh...all the good ones are taken!


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## shesulsa (Sep 19, 2005)

If there's one thing I love more than beer, it's FOOTBALL!

 No, I don't mind if you watch football all day.

 OH yes! Trick out that 71 Nissan king cab pickup!


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