# Throwing it all away..



## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm just wondering why someone would devote their time (years) to a Martial Art and then just walk away from it.  Have you met people like this?   Is it because they're no longer learning? Or is it Money/lack thereof? Time constraints?  Do they ever go back or can they go back? Switch instructors til they are labeled 'jumpers'?  Do the instructors take them back? 

We've had students walk away, one had already tested for BB and passed.. and just out of the blue.. Left and never came back.. and he never got his promotion..

So if there's problems .. and the student doesn't communicate.. should they be 'dumped' or should they be given a 2nd chance?

Thoughts?
 ~Tess


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## Ping898 (Aug 10, 2004)

Most of the students who I have encountered have left for 1 of only about 5 or 6 reasons, they no longer have the money, they got a serious illness or someone in their family does, they got seriously hurt, they no longer have the time or they moved.

With kids you can see them loose interest, but have to admit I haven't seen that happen with an adult.  Personally I think as adults we realize how much money you are sinking into training so don't start or stop it on a whim.

But I think you got to take them back.  If they want to learn, I don't think they should be denied the opportunity.  I know personally trying to get any info out of my that is more than what I ate for dinner, is like trying to pull teeth.  I don't share except with a select few and don't want to.  So I don't expect anyone to share with me things like why they stopped coming if they don't want to volunteer that information.

Sometimes people are also lookng for something and they just don't know what, which is why they may switch instructors a lot and not see anything wrong with doing so.  Never encountered it myself, but know it exists. 

Just my thoughts on it....


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## jfarnsworth (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> I'm just wondering why someone would devote their time (years) to a Martial Art and then just walk away from it.


I could never do that.


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## Martial Tucker (Aug 10, 2004)

I've seen several people come thru our school in the past 8 years that I've been there, and as soon as they pass their BB test, they're gone. It seems to me that
some of them just figured they've learned all they need, some just wanted to be able to tell their friends they were a BB, and others just considered getting a BB in a MA to be one more thing to "check off" on their list of things to do in their lives. 
Some of them you could kind of predict in advance would quit, a few others were a surprise. At our school, when you pass your BB test, you are a "probationary" BB for a year. You do not receive a Dan Certificate, and your belt is plain black with no embroidered name. If, after a year your attendance has been good and you have conducted yourself in a manner appropriate for a BB, then you are awarded a "full" BB with certificate and belt embroidered with your name, rank, etc.

As for returning, it totally depends on the reasons for leaving and is between the student and the master.


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## OUMoose (Aug 10, 2004)

I can kind of answer this question from a personal standpoint.  At my old school, I was driving an hour and a half (1-way) to train.  Once night, coming home after a particularly strenuous workout, I totaled my car on the highway.  Granted, it was raining heavily, and I didn't get any bad marks from the LEO's for it, but that left me sans vehicle.  When I finally got a car, and got some money built back up so I could start training again, my hip was injured pretty bad trying to help someone out (a whole other story).  So, in the year+ that it took to heal that up, I had found another teacher closer to home, who I could try to keep my skills up with.

Now I'm on my own again, since my teacher moved to florida, and I've been kicking around going to my old school.  It's cost prohibitive though, due to gas prices and me driving a big V8.  Plus, I kind of feel like I let my old teacher down, since it's been probably 2 years since i've set foot in his school now.  In a sense, I walked away from the school due to money and health difficulties, but I didn't walk away from the art.  

Hope that helps a little by shedding a little light on at least one situation.


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

What makes me curious is the ones that don't communicate anything to the instructor.. We've had a few that left due to graduation and of course they would be welcomed back.. and others that have gone elsewhere due to other constraints, might be welcomed back. But the ones that are afraid to talk to us.. *why I have no idea*.. and just quit coming to class..after a few years, if they are bored.. or feel they're not getting anything out of it.. *shrugs*, the lack of communication is what irks the most.


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## shesulsa (Aug 10, 2004)

Tess, Ma'am:

 It could be that some feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities in life or that they have a lack of self-confidence viewing the upcoming material they must learn and moves they must perform.  Perhaps some have conflicts they don't speak about and just drop it.

 Could be they get a minor injury and decide they don't want to travel down that path anymore, or they witness someone else in class get a more serious injury and it scares them away.


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

Very good responses.. though I'm more inclined to think it's laziness and fear that's holding this particular person back..We had one student who was gone all summer.. and he came back last week.. dues in hand, and an apology on his tongue.. he was welcomed back with open arms and a stern talking to.. but he knew it was done in a caring spirit.  
Alot of the younger kids whom have left, I blame the parents.  They don't want to drive, or some other excuse.  We have one 14 yo who is still in the kids class because he's just not maturely ready for the adults, His mom is sending him to a college prep school this fall (9th grade) and was gonna yank him from Kenpo as he will have 3 hours of homework nightly.. He had a FIT~!  So we rallied and he's going to be still able to come at least 1 class a week.  *twitches at 3 hours of homework for a HS freshman~!


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## Mark L (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> ....the lack of communication is what irks the most.



Call them, ask where they've been, is there a problem, how come we haven't seen you.  Communication is a two way street, some of us are good at it, others aren't.  As instructors it is our responsibility to see that our students are properly trained, to the best of our abilities.  Sometimes that means bestowing  a gentle nudge, or a more forceful reminder.  If your efforts are met with resistance, well, all you can do is try.

I hadn't been to class for several months last fall due to work pressures adn other responsibilites, and I hadn't communicated directly with my teacher.  He called me to find out where I was, if something was wrong, etc.  It reminded me of how important training is to me.

I'm currently helping three of the young bucks at the school get ready for BB, I'm chasing them all over to get them to do what they need to do to get ready.  It's a pain in the neck, but I feel a responsibility ...


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## Lisa (Aug 10, 2004)

We have one guy in our school that took a month off due to finishing some school work.  Then this month he didn't want to come back because he didn't have the money to pay for instruction.  When I informed the instructor about this he quickly sent him an email telling him to get his butt into class and that they would square things up later.  He also threatened to let loose two of the young female students (10 year old girls are scarry!) on him and hold him down while they gave him a facial!  

Needless to say... he was in class last night!


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

He doesn't respond to communication.. so we've tossed up our hands ..


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## Lisa (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> He doesn't respond to communication.. so we've tossed up our hands ..


Tess,

Unfortunately then there probably is nothing you can do.  If he doesn't want to share his concerns or reasons with you then maybe it is time to put that to rest.  Sometimes people are very private about their reasons.  I think it is a sign of a good instructor to follow up with students that go missing.  Sometimes they will hear criticism and that can help them become better instructors and help their school grow.


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

yep Nalia.. methinks you're right.. and it's too bad because he once was a very good friend


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## psi_radar (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> He doesn't respond to communication.. so we've tossed up our hands ..



This could be just about anything. I haven't been back to my school all summer. At first I thought I was going to do Systema, but that didn't work out, partially because life just got so darn busy. We moved, my wife was taking night classes for her teaching certificate, my son needed some extra attention, we were low on funds, etc. 

I dropped by my old kenpo school last week. I got a really nice, warm reception, which made my decision to go back once things calm down that much easier. I didn't even need to provide an excuse, just said I was busy and you know how life goes...and that was that. My teacher's reaction showed me yet again what a decent and big-hearted person he is. 

Your student might have the same sort of things coming up in his life. Or maybe he went to study another art or from another instructor and is embarassed to tell you. Like another mentioned, maybe MA is not a life-long thing for him and he's checked that particular box and just wants to move on. Regardless, however you react if he ever comes back is a fine measure of who you are. If you grouse and moan, he probably won't be too psyched about coming back.  If you're understanding and warm, not only is that a fine reflection of your maturity, but will most likely instill in him a positive feeling toward training again.


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## Nightingale (Aug 10, 2004)

stress and burnout.

I've walked away from kenpo twice in my life.  Each time, I knew I'd go back, but I also knew I needed a break, because I wasn't enjoying it.  When I was home, I didn't want to go to class, and when I was at class, I was watching the clock to see when I could go home.  It wasn't the instructors or the art, it was just that I'd been doing it for five days a week for however long, and sometimes, there's more to life than just kenpo.  

The last time I left, I started skydiving shortly before, and wanted more time and money to devote to my new sport.  When I was in kenpo class, I was wishing I was on a plane ride to altitude.  Now, I'm at the point where I have all the equipment I need and have completed my training, so the huge cost burden isn't there anymore, and I have money to train again.  Plus, as much as I love skydiving, the novelty's worn off a bit, and I'm content with just jumping on the weekends, as opposed to weekday evenings as well, freeing up the weekday evenings for kenpo.


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## Ceicei (Aug 10, 2004)

The two BB I knew left their styles because of serious injuries. One broke his neck and the other blew out her knee. Both required extensive off time and rehabilitation to recover. When they recovered (they still have residual pain though), neither of them returned to martial arts because they fear the possibility of re-injury. 

However, both of them have admitted privately they missed being able to work out--they enjoyed their training. But because of their absence, they knew they will have to work hard again to regain their skills. I guess they feel they let their school down by getting hurt in the first place.

- Ceicei


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## oldnewbie (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> *twitches at 3 hours of homework for a HS freshman~!


My son is in middle school (6th grade) and has 3 hrs of homework!!!
Yikes!


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## Bob Hubbard (Aug 10, 2004)

I'm gonna hit this from the students side a bit as I've left a few schools myself.

First school I left because it 'hurt' to be there.  Physically.  Taking a medicine ball full impact in the chest for 20 minutes on my first day did nothing to motivate me to return.  Neither did the 20 minutes on the torture rack either.

Second school I left because of a number of things.
I wasn't getting what I thought I should be getting out of the classes. (Partially my fault as I was cronically tired then).
I also felt their warmups weren't safe as firing full force snap kicks into the air did a number on my knees and hips.

Another school I left as I didn't feel the instructor paid enough attention to each students individual needs and that I didn't have the instructors confidence.  (IE I was taught because I was a friend, not because he believed in me).

I've trained at an easy half dozen schools.  Some just weren't 'my path'.  Some were excellent schools with great folks, but just not 'for me'.  Others, well....they weren't so good. 

I've left due to money, illness, being too busy professionally, no motivation, etc.
It really varies.

For me, I know what I want.  The question is, do I settle for less to do 'something', or do I wait until I find it and then run with it?

I've been out now 9 months due to my back and neck.  It's very frustrating.  I want to get back on the matts, but I like a more intense workout than just playing 'patty cake'.  I can't risk taking certain damage. That whole I like to walk and turn my head thing.  I hang out at the camps, I want to bang and roll, but, everytime I think it's safe, something has hapened (like the last week losing feeling in both arms due to neck and shoulder damage) to make me wait a little more.

I think when instructors loose students, when they can't keep students they need to take the blinders off and really look at how they run things.  They need to stop the 'well they just werent dedicated' crap.  I know several dedicated students who walked away from years of training and either quit or went elsewhere because their needs weren't being met.

In the end, it's a business.
If you don't meet your customers needs, you -will- lose them.
That doesn't require going broke, babying, mcdojoing or coddling either.
It just requires good customer service and a true dedication to really training your students.

peace y'all.


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## bignick (Aug 10, 2004)

From what I've seen...right after testing for your first black belt is when a lot of people leave...for whatever reasons...

My advice to people that have been injured and can't train to still go and watch classes...there is a senior judo student at my dojo that has MS...and really can't train all that well anymore...but he's there every class and if he doesn't feel up to working out...just sits on the side of the mat in seiza. Martial arts, if you train seriously, become a huge part of your life...on more than one occasion i've found myself not really wanting to train...i was tired, had a big programming project due, a cute girl wanted to come over and hang out(alright...maybe this didn't happen all that often), but the point is that before i knew what i was doing i was already at the gym. It just becomes such a habit and routine that when you don't do it you miss it...what i'll see is that people will take some time off due to health or injury reasons...or maybe work or school...and so they're not coming to class, and then they heal...or finish whatever they needed to get done...but somehow other things have crept into that time that used to be for training...and it's hard to get back to the gym...


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## clfsean (Aug 10, 2004)

I've walked away from a couple of schools in the past. Each time I had reasons specific to that style or school, each time there was a talk with the chief instructor & each time I left with an invitation to come back if I ever felt the desire to. 

There's also been one or two where I just didn't show up anymore & had no intention of calling them. Either the people, the training, the instructor or a combination of any of the 3 did me in. If a positive resolution wasn't reached, then obviously it was some where I didn't belong & moved on.

People leave for as many reasons as there are raindrops. Just go with the notion what they were doing didn't feel right to them or they had lost heart/faith in the training & it was time to go.


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

I can understand alot of the reasonings.. and since we are now a private Invitation-Only club, we are a very tight-knit group. When we were a public school, it was very different, we had students come and go and really didn't put much emotion into those that chose to go. I think as school owners we are allowing our emotions to rule in this case.. as the student is a friend.


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## loki09789 (Aug 10, 2004)

Tess,

Warning:  This is off topic as hell.

I was in McHenry, MD not too long ago on my honeymoon.  It is right in that tri state area of Southern PA, Eastern WV and NW Maryland...how close were we to your WV location?  Just curious. The drive south of the PA turnpike was beautiful and we drove by the WV University where they filmed "THe PRogram" (football movie).


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## bignick (Aug 10, 2004)

if a school isn't working for you...don't stick around...if you're not enjoying your training you're probably not gonna get much out of it...but i'd explain to the instructor why i was leaving first


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## kenpo tiger (Aug 10, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> From what I've seen...right after testing for your first black belt is when a lot of people leave...for whatever reasons...
> 
> My advice to people that have been injured and can't train to still go and watch classes...there is a senior judo student at my dojo that has MS...and really can't train all that well anymore...but he's there every class and if he doesn't feel up to working out...just sits on the side of the mat in seiza. QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

Congrats on your marriage Paul  

We are in Martinsburg,WV.. which is in the eastern panhandle,  in Berkeley county.. we border PA,MD and Va, and are bout an hour from DC and Baltimore.. It's a gorgeous area and I hate to admit it.. but I really haven't been into WV other than this panhandle area~!


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

I agree BigNick.. if it's not for you.. head elsewhere.. but the courteous way would be saying goodbye first.  

KT.. I totally concur~!  We've had injured students who come and watch.. we've had students with broken legs come in and do their handwork.. whenever I get injured.. I'm still at class~!


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## kenpo tiger (Aug 10, 2004)

Tess,

I think we all do.  I've sparred with one hand behind my back (literally) because of a sparring injury and couldn't stand to be on the sidelines.  Didn't do too well - ya think!  KT


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## loki09789 (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> Congrats on your marriage Paul
> 
> We are in Martinsburg,WV.. which is in the eastern panhandle, in Berkeley county.. we border PA,MD and Va, and are bout an hour from DC and Baltimore.. It's a gorgeous area and I hate to admit it.. but I really haven't been into WV other than this panhandle area~!


I guess we weren't all that close then.  It was a little resort area on Deep Creek Lake, if that helps any.  Based on the map, we were about 2-3 hours from Baltimore/DC area.

Thanks for the well wishes.  Honestly, I'd say I made out better in the deal than she did, but I'll stick around until she figures that out .


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## hardheadjarhead (Aug 10, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> I'm just wondering why someone would devote their time (years) to a Martial Art and then just walk away from it.  Have you met people like this?   Is it because they're no longer learning? Or is it Money/lack thereof? Time constraints?  Do they ever go back or can they go back? Switch instructors til they are labeled 'jumpers'?  Do the instructors take them back?
> 
> We've had students walk away, one had already tested for BB and passed.. and just out of the blue.. Left and never came back.. and he never got his promotion..
> 
> ...



As to returning students, I'd treat them as I would the "prodigal son" and bring them back with open arms.  The exception would be if they went to a competing instructor.

Anymore when students give me their reasons for leaving, I just smile and nod.  I've accepted that the arts aren't for everyone, and some people...even incredibly promising people with loads of talent and time in training...will move on with their lives and leave the martial arts.  For the majority of us here that is such an alien notion we can't understand it.   We need not understand it, but we need to accept it otherwise we'll tear our hair out in frustration.

Probably why I'm bald.

A great many students quit after black belt.  They've gotten their ticket punched on their ego trip in life, and that's all they need.  They've got a conversation topic for parties, bragging rights, and supposedly that "ooh, ooh" aura that so many think a martial artist has.  

Still others have different priorities.  School, kids, jobs all come first for them.  It is hard to argue with these reasons, even though many of us have balanced our training with school, kids and jobs.  It would be unreasonable for us to dictate another person his/her priorities or tell them what the depth of their martial passion should be.  They may have loved and excelled at the arts...but they may love the other aspects of their lives far more.

When they're ready to come back, I'll usually take them back with a smile.  I don't expect them to hang with it for very long.  If they do, I'm pleasantly surprised.  

If they're not there the next week, or the next year--someone else will be--and I will be.  I suspect you will be there too, Tess.  In the end that is the most important thing of all.


Regards,


Steve


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## KenpoTess (Aug 10, 2004)

Paul.. well guess you weren't.. but glad you had a great time and I hear that area is beautiful~!

Steve.. so very true.. and I after all the years I've spent on this earth.. it just makes it all the harder letting go of friends..


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## Sarah (Aug 10, 2004)

I think If Martial Arts is truly in your heart then you never really leave it, you may leave a school or take time off because of injury or other commitments but its still there and when the time is right you will feel the urge to get back into it.

Then of course there are people who just want a BB, that is their focus, and once they have it they lose motivation to go any further.

I dont know of anyone (in the higher/BB ranks) that has totally left our Dojo, they might not train as much or are doing other things but they still pop in and keep in touch.

As for Lower ranks, as already said there could be many reason why they stop.


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## dearnis.com (Aug 10, 2004)

> I'm just wondering why someone would devote their time (years) to a Martial Art and then just walk away from it. Have you met people like this? Is it because they're no longer learning? Or is it Money/lack thereof? Time constraints? Do they ever go back or can they go back? Switch instructors til they are labeled 'jumpers'? Do the instructors take them back?



I've gone to semi-retired status gradually over the last 6 months or so, and while I miss parts of it, other parts I just dont.  I go to very selected events, teach even more carefully selected students (2), and have written off everything else, at least for now.  The big reason, I suppose, was not getting back anywhere near what I was giving, particularly in terms of teaching.  Not an easy decision with nearly 20 years invested, but 90% of my training time was a chore rather than being fun.  
Reasons?  Politics, student apathy, student dishonesty, bull$&** at seminars and training sessions.  Partly laziness on my part; I moved to a more remote area, so it is a time investment of 45 minutes to 2 hours plus travel time round trip to train depending on loctation.....but a year ago I was making the trips without complaint 4-5 times a week.  
I still train, but mostly solo now. It is unlikely I would go back into a school environment; maybe the right club, but that is hard to say.  No interest in teaching  any more either; I dont know if that is good or bad.

And for a positive, though off-topic note, the Martinsburg/Shepherdstown WVa area is absolutely beautiful.


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## bignick (Aug 10, 2004)

kenpo tiger said:
			
		

> Now THAT is someone who truly loves what he does. Sitting in seiza for any long period of time when you're 100% is quite difficult. To have MS and be able to do that - no, make oneself do that - is an accomplishment. A great example for others, in my opinion. KT


sorry...a bit off topic here...

Yes...he's great to work with...my instructor tells us that in your journey on the Way...you'll meet people that seem like supermen...and women to be fair...they can seem to do anything with absolute ease...and their depth of knowlede and their technique is unparralleled...you know the kind i'm talking about...the ones that you always watch out the corner of your eye when your supposed to be busy with something else, because you want to see them work...but this guy is a real superman...it's people like him that personify the diligence, perseverance, patience and discipline that martial arts instill in us...all this embodied in a guy just sitting on the edge of the mat...


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## Sarah (Aug 10, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> sorry...a bit off topic here...
> 
> Yes...he's great to work with...my instructor tells us that in your journey on the Way...you'll meet people that seem like supermen...and women to be fair...they can seem to do anything with absolute ease...and their depth of knowlede and their technique is unparralleled...you know the kind i'm talking about...the ones that you always watch out the corner of your eye when your supposed to be busy with something else, because you want to see them work...but this guy is a real superman...it's people like him that personify the diligence, perseverance, patience and discipline that martial arts instill in us...all this embodied in a guy just sitting on the edge of the mat...


 
Well Said


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## TigerWoman (Aug 11, 2004)

I always wondered where all the black belts went in our school. I know actually where the ones that I trained with went.  Some tried to teach and failed from their own expectations and temperament that got in the way. Some just from a move in job coupled with being 40 something. Some from just not going enough and the workout seems to get harder when its really you getting out of shape from not enough. But all that can be overcome by experience in teaching, by finding a new school in a new town, and by coming more often to class and not expecting so much of yourself until you get back in shape.  But as others have pointed out the reasons are many.

I remembered a post in which leadership qualities were written about by John C. Maxwell:  "There are many prerequisites required in order to develop the respect and consequently the loyalty of the student.  The following are the most important. 

First and foremost, the student must feel that the teacher is genuinely concerned with their welfare and safety.  This means that the teacher protects the student from harming themselves as well as allowing others to harm them. 

Second, the student must feel that the teacher respects them as a person as well as a student.  

Third, the student must feel that the teacher has something to offer them and that they are learning something well worth while.  

Fourth, the student must feel that they themselves are making progress and equally so that the teacher feels that they are making progress.  Everyone wants to progress and therefore it is essential that this component be present."

If the reason the student is leaving, isn't about money, moving or sickness and maybe a few others that a teacher couldn't prevent, then these reasons come into play.  I know all of them have for me recently (plus a few others) and I nearly quit. And it got down to communication to save it. But if you can't reach the student on the phone, write him. Then, you have to leave it in his court.  TW


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## kenpo tiger (Aug 11, 2004)

BN,

I don't think your response is off-topic at all.  The ten principles of taekwondo embodied in one person is rare to find.  Perhaps those who discover the inner strength someone like your classmate has are those who continue.  Personally, everyone I trained with in tkd who tested in the first group for bb is no longer in the art - or any martial art.  Reason?  The instructor and climate at the school.  [Reason I left, too, but I had only attained high brown and didn't care to "get" one of his bbs.  I wanted to EARN one.]  KT


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## Goldendragon7 (Aug 14, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> We've had students walk away, one had already tested for BB and passed.. and just out of the blue.. Left and never came back.. and he never got his promotion..
> ~Tess


 What's BB stand for?

 :idunno:


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## satans.barber (Aug 15, 2004)

As other people have said, a lot of people seem to leave as soon as they get to black belt. Of the 5 of us at our club (including me) who were promoted to black last September, 2 left soon after. They used to come every week, then it was once a fortnight, then once a month etc. until now they've just stopped. I think a lot of people do just see it as a goal that you hit and that's that, but that's a poor attitude in my opinion - there's always more to learn. I'm sure some of our seniors such as Mr Conatser and Mr Chap/el would attest that they've learn an awful lot in the years since making black belt!

I wouldn't mind people disappearing so much if they would come and give a reason, but nobody ever does. Out school has lost approximately 4/5 of its senior students in the last 2 years, partly for reasons I'm aware of, partly for reasons I aren't aware of. It'd make my life easier if people told me why they were going instead of just buggering off and never coming back as then I could maybe fix the problems!

Ian.


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## The Kai (Aug 15, 2004)

How's this for a kick. I just promoted my first 3 black belts, 2 have faded away in 2 months time,  The one who is sticking around probably has most reason to fade (Pregeant, with 1st child).  What can youi do


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## Sarah (Aug 15, 2004)

Goldendragon7 said:
			
		

> What's BB stand for?
> 
> :idunno:


Black Belt


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## bignick (Aug 15, 2004)

good one...but to give a serious answer...not enough to some people...and too much for others

that may not make sense...but i'm serious about it


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## Sarah (Aug 15, 2004)

Maybe if senior's were encouraged to help out more once they get to BB they would stick around??  Maybe take a more active role in the Dojo.


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## Han-Mi (Aug 16, 2004)

KenpoTess said:
			
		

> I'm just wondering why someone would devote their time (years) to a Martial Art and then just walk away from it. Have you met people like this? Is it because they're no longer learning? Or is it Money/lack thereof? Time constraints? Do they ever go back or can they go back? Switch instructors til they are labeled 'jumpers'? Do the instructors take them back?
> 
> We've had students walk away, one had already tested for BB and passed.. and just out of the blue.. Left and never came back.. and he never got his promotion..
> 
> ...


Life happens.  Most of our ex-students keep in touch,m and many want to come back but, it just doesn't fit. Can't really stop it.


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## Don Roley (Aug 16, 2004)

I am surprised no one seems to have thrown out this reason why people stop coming to class.

People change, and as they change so does their outlook and priorities.

I am not talking about those folks that drop out just after reaching black belt. I am talking about the folks who stop coming as often and then stop coming at all. They end up filling their lives with other interests and hobbies that they find more filling and they have to make a choice to concentrate on one rather than spread themselves thin.

I did a few things when I was younger that I do not do now. My likes and dislikes also changed as I grew and was exposed to new things and got deeper understanding into things I had been doing. New experiences give birth to new ways of looking at things. I gave some of my old hobbies up to devote more time to martial arts and such.  It may have been that if I had slightly different priorities I would have dropped martial arts. 

In martial arts I have stopped going to some teachers and started going to other teachers. Not becasue the old teachers were bad, but because I needed more work in what the new teachers were doing.

Is it so difficult to beleive that if someone was building up their life that they would drop martial arts to concentrate on an area they thought they needed more work on?


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