# Dubya give speech about what's next....



## Bob Hubbard (Jun 7, 2004)

I got this in email, and found it on a few other sites...

====

*US Pulling Out of Iraq
**Date:* Wednesday, May 19 @ 09:35:45 PDT
*Topic:* Odd News/Headlines

President George Bush held a press conference today and announced pklans to begin an immediate withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. 


Here's the full text of his announcement: 

My fellow Americans: 

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. 

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. 

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. 

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. 

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. 

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. 

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. 

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. <[p> On that note, a word to terrorist organizations-mess with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France ... or maybe China. 

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. 

I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes aims. 

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. 

A special note to our neighbors-Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change. 

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sittingaround. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep ... border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ... Starting Now. 

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying. Darn Tootin.' 

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmityof just about everyone on the planet. 

It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America. 

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you. 

To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead. God bless America.


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## Ender (Jun 7, 2004)

*chuckles

Can we still eat freedom fries???


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## TigerWoman (Jun 7, 2004)

That was great.....pretty darn tootin'

Wish it was the real thing, kind of rings true.


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## Bob Hubbard (Jun 7, 2004)

I'm reminded of Reagans 'sound check' when I read  this. 

"My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever [laughter]. We begin bombing in five minutes [laughter]."
http://reagan.webteamone.com/sounds/bombing.au


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## theletch1 (Jun 7, 2004)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> I'm reminded of Reagans 'sound check' when I read  this.
> 
> "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever [laughter]. We begin bombing in five minutes [laughter]."
> http://reagan.webteamone.com/sounds/bombing.au


The press announcement is something that I could almost hear President Reagan saying right after his "Tear down this wall" speech.  While I love the message in the first post, I'm sure there are those who will brand me cold hearted, self centered and cruel for doing so.  That's o.k., my first wife called me all of those things too, now she's the one paying child support.


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## KenpoTex (Jun 8, 2004)

Hell, sounds like a good plan to me.  Hey Chirac, Shroeder :2xbird:


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## oldnewbie (Jun 8, 2004)

Could we vote that into reality????


Sign me up!!!


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## Flatlander (Jun 8, 2004)

Please, don't hate all Canadians.  Really, we're good people.  Don't you like our beer?  Wanna beer?  Its good beer?


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## OUMoose (Jun 8, 2004)

I'll take my beer from the UK/Ireland...  To quote South Park: "Blame Canada!"  

Oh if we could only dump some of that money back here.  ah well.


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## oldnewbie (Jun 8, 2004)

flatlander said:
			
		

> Please, don't hate all Canadians. Really, we're good people. Don't you like our beer? Wanna beer? Its good beer?


Ummm moose drool... good stuff

(Go Lightning !!! Sorry couldn't help muself...)


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## OUMoose (Jun 8, 2004)

oldnewbie said:
			
		

> Ummm moose drool... good stuff



haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!  I do not!!  OK, well maybe a little, but only after 12-14 pints of Gunness...


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## oldnewbie (Jun 8, 2004)

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:


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