# Martial Art Students using Dojo for daycare/convenience



## Anarax (Aug 16, 2017)

I've been attending the same Dojo for years and enjoy the high quality training it provides. However; there are several adult students that feel it's appropriate to bring their kids(ages 1-8) to class. It's not a kids class, thus they don't participate. They run around, slam equipment on the mats and are overall a major distraction. I was doing a pad work drill with one of the instructors the other day, and the child just walks over and stands between me and the pad. I look over at the Mother who's a fellow student waiting for her to interject, but she just apathetically stares back at me. I eventually had the tell the child to move. It breaks your concentration and throws your training off. The head instructor/owner usually isn't there when they bring their kids. Thus I was going to inform him of how distracting they are. Has anyone else experienced this problem?


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## ks - learning to fly (Aug 16, 2017)

definitely not to that degree - but I have seen child color belts 
get reprimanded if they get in the way of an adult warming up
or doing drills - in your case, I would recommend speaking or
emailing your head Instructor about the situation - not just for
the discipline aspect, but also the safety..what if you were throwing
a kick and one of those kids took a shot to the head..?


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## JR 137 (Aug 16, 2017)

Anarax said:


> I've been attending the same Dojo for years and enjoy the high quality training it provides. However; there are several adult students that feel it's appropriate to bring their kids(ages 1-8) to class. It's not a kids class, thus they don't participate. They run around, slam equipment on the mats and are overall a major distraction. I was doing a pad work drill with one of the instructors the other day, and the child just walks over and stands between me and the pad. I look over at the Mother who's a fellow student waiting for her to interject, but she just apathetically stares back at me. I eventually had the tell the child to move. It breaks your concentration and throws your training off. The head instructor/owner usually isn't there when they bring their kids. Thus I was going to inform him of how distracting they are. Has anyone else experienced this problem?


I have 4 and 6 year old daughters.  I've brought my 6 year old with my several times (she was a few months shy of 5 the first time).  She sat and either colored or played games on her iPad/iPod touch.  One time the volume got a little loud on her iPad; not too loud, but just loud enough for us to hear it.  I quickly and quitely went over to her and turned it down.  That was the only time anyone noticed her there.  My 4 year old?  I wouldn't bring her because I know she'd get bored and do something.

If kids can't sit quietly, they shouldn't be there.  It's not fair to anyone - people training nor the kids.  Very, very few kids can sit there for an hour and be ok.  I guess I got lucky with my 6 year old.

I think you should bring it to the CI's attention.  What ks-learning to fly said is definitely true.  If they walk into a kick or punch, they're going to get seriously hurt.  And they could break something or hurt themselves playing with stuff.

If the kids can't follow the rules, they shouldn't be there.  And I'm not bashing the kids with that, I'm bashing the parents.  If my kids were interrupting class in any way, I wouldn't bring them back.  No one else should have to watch my kids, reprimand my kids, etc.  No one else should have their training compromised because of my kids.  That would just be selfish on my part.  If I couldn't get to class because I didn't have someone to watch my kids, then I'd miss class that night.  That comes along with parenting, and should be common sense.  But for so many reasons, I question why it's called common sense when it's not very common.

Rant over 

Speak to your CI.  It's his/her job to address this IMO.  If it's a common issue due to many people doing it, it should be a policy thing.  If I was running a dojo and this was occurring, I'd have a rule of no unattended children.  That's not an unfair rule, it's a common sense rule for so many reasons.

Make it more about safety, as in the kid got in your way and almost got hit while the parent (who should remain nameless unless explicitly asked) didn't make an attempt to stop the child, and you'll probably be taken more seriously than if you say the kids are annoying you.  If others aren't happy about it either, let him m know you and several others are having a difficult time hearing instruction and concentrating too.  Just don't make it sound like a personal thing against a few people.


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## drop bear (Aug 16, 2017)

We have people bring their kids in. Mostly hasn't been a problem. I don't even mind the dog.


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## Headhunter (Aug 17, 2017)

If that was me I would've had a word with the mother. Parents need to control there kids and can't just let them do what they want. I get they may have to bring their kid for child care reasons but they need to take responsibility. If I was In your position I would've said straight away you going to ask your kid to move? Because we're training here it's not a playground you know. I would've said it straight away


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## jobo (Aug 17, 2017)

drop bear said:


> We have people bring their kids in. Mostly hasn't been a problem. I don't even mind the dog.


i take my dog with me to class, the instructor some times brings his little girl , the dog and girl play together ,


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## Tez3 (Aug 17, 2017)

I'd have kicked the child in the head for the sheer joy of having someone in the adults class I could actually do that to. 

We haven't had children in the adults classes but we have had a parent bringing a younger sibling into the children's class and leaving them sat on the side 'to watch' while parents went off 'shopping' or whatever. We've also had a child who was a student brought in by parent who asked if they could just sit the class out because they weren't feeling well, wasn't a sudden onset either the child had been kept off school but mother needed to go off and do something so we were supposed to babysit. Guess what we said.


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## Flatfish (Aug 17, 2017)

Tez3 said:


> I'd have kicked the child in the head for the sheer joy of having someone in the adults class I could actually do that to.




You have no idea how happy it makes me that someone else feels exactly like I do.....


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## Gerry Seymour (Aug 17, 2017)

drop bear said:


> We have people bring their kids in. Mostly hasn't been a problem. I don't even mind the dog.


I especially wouldn't mind the dog. If my youngest dog didn't throw up in the car, I'd bring her in every class. It'd be great awareness training, too, because she'd be sneaking up and jumping on people in the middle of a technique.


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## JR 137 (Aug 17, 2017)

Tez3 said:


> I'd have kicked the child in the head for the sheer joy of having someone in the adults class I could actually do that to.
> 
> We haven't had children in the adults classes but we have had a parent bringing a younger sibling into the children's class and leaving them sat on the side 'to watch' while parents went off 'shopping' or whatever. We've also had a child who was a student brought in by parent who asked if they could just sit the class out because they weren't feeling well, wasn't a sudden onset either the child had been kept off school but mother needed to go off and do something so we were supposed to babysit. Guess what we said.



My barber has had people leave their children at his shop while cutting their hair so they could go shopping (he's in a strip mall).  If the kid is well behaved and the parent is back within a few minutes, no big deal.

He's had 3 different kids left there for over an hour after they were done.  He called the police (as an abandonment issue) all three times, and his policy is if the parent leaves, the police are immediately called.  Stopped that problem real quick.

You try to be nice, but ultimately you end up getting s@!t on.


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## drop bear (Aug 17, 2017)

gpseymour said:


> I especially wouldn't mind the dog. If my youngest dog didn't throw up in the car, I'd bring her in every class. It'd be great awareness training, too, because she'd be sneaking up and jumping on people in the middle of a technique.



We also had a baby goat and a baby possum there at one point.


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## JR 137 (Aug 17, 2017)

drop bear said:


> We also had a baby goat and a baby possum there at one point.


No crocs?  Or is crocs dropping in obvious and doesn't need to be said?

Edit: Along with dingos, koalas, and Tasmanian devils, of course.


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## drop bear (Aug 17, 2017)

JR 137 said:


> No crocs?  Or is crocs dropping in obvious and doesn't need to be said?
> 
> Edit: Along with dingos, koalas, and Tasmanian devils, of course.


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## Andrew Green (Aug 17, 2017)

Anarax said:


> I've been attending the same Dojo for years and enjoy the high quality training it provides. However; there are several adult students that feel it's appropriate to bring their kids(ages 1-8) to class.


 I'd say good, kids seeing their parents exercising and treating martial arts as a family thing is good 



> It's not a kids class, thus they don't participate.



Also good



> They run around, slam equipment on the mats and are overall a major distraction. I was doing a pad work drill with one of the instructors the other day, and the child just walks over and stands between me and the pad. I look over at the Mother who's a fellow student waiting for her to interject, but she just apathetically stares back at me. I eventually had the tell the child to move. It breaks your concentration and throws your training off.



And here is where the problem is.  If they are allowed to do it, they will.  Because until they are told otherwise it's acceptable in their mind.  I don't think the problem is the kids being there, it's how the instructors and parents handle them being there.  Parents can also easily become a distraction in a kids class if allowed... instructors need to step up and control their floor regardless of the age of the distraction.


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## JR 137 (Aug 17, 2017)

Andrew Green said:


> Because until they are told otherwise it's acceptable in their mind.


I agree with everything you've said, but I'd tweak that one sentence.

Kids are told a lot of things.  The only way they actually listen/do what they're told is when they're held accountable.  My sister-in-law is famous for telling her kids what not to do.  And her kids are even more famous for giving her a dirty look and doing it anyway, without any consequences.

Classic example...
Her 7 year old daughter stands directly in front of the tv with her elbows on the tv stand, blocking everyone's view and being annoying.

Mom: Back up from the tv please.
Daughter: turns, gives a dirty look, then turns back to the tv.
Mom: Please back up from the tv; you're going to hurt your eyes.
Daughter: same exact look then ignore.
Mom (to me): She never listens (then she gets up to walk away frustrated).
Me:  I've got a solution if you don't mind.
Mom puzzled.
I turn off the tv and smile, and tell her I'll turn it back on when she backs up.
Daughter stomps her feet and walks away angry.
Mother is dumbfounded.

It's all about consequences.  Even simple consequences that are followed through on usually work, so long as you don't make empty threats and are consistent.

As a school teacher, it's shocking how often I see parents without any real consequences for their kids' behavior.  I guess taking a kid's Xbox or cellphone away is way too harsh and abusive these days.


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## Buka (Aug 18, 2017)

Children....those loud, sticky things, right?


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## drop bear (Aug 21, 2017)

Happy the gym dog.


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## Anarax (Aug 24, 2017)

Update on the situation. I spoke to the head instructor/owner of the facility, he agreed it's unacceptable. He straightened it out.

Thank you everyone for your input


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## Gwai Lo Dan (Sep 29, 2017)

jobo said:


> i take my dog with me to class, the instructor some times brings his little girl , the dog and girl play together ,


That seems like a bad idea to me.  No parents are immediately around.  Kids play with the dog. One kid pokes/pulls/annoys the dog, the dog bites the kid's face....then what?


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## Gerry Seymour (Sep 29, 2017)

Gwai Lo Dan said:


> That seems like a bad idea to me.  No parents are immediately around.  Kids play with the dog. One kid pokes/pulls/annoys the dog, the dog bites the kid's face....then what?


Most dogs don't actually have much chance of doing that if they are well socialized and played with. My only concern with most of the dogs I've ever owned would be them getting excited and stomping on the kid. Most kids over the age of 6 like that, though.


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## jobo (Sep 29, 2017)

Gwai Lo Dan said:


> That seems like a bad idea to me.  No parents are immediately around.  Kids play with the dog. One kid pokes/pulls/annoys the dog, the dog bites the kid's face....then what?


not that worried its not my kid, but anyway my dog is,child friendly, he has been poked pulled and annoyed by multiple children and loves the whole,experience,, its only me he bites, though he did once catch a squirrel, obviously dis like the taste as  he never,chased one again


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## jobo (Sep 29, 2017)

gpseymour said:


> Most dogs don't actually have much chance of doing that if they are well socialized and played with. My only concern with most of the dogs I've ever owned would be them getting excited and stomping on the kid. Most kids over the age of 6 like that, though.


its a smallish dog, a sort of a big jack Russell


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## Gerry Seymour (Sep 29, 2017)

jobo said:


> its a smallish dog, a sort of a big jack Russell


Even better for stomping on children. Not very effective, but the kids love it.


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## JR 137 (Sep 29, 2017)

Gwai Lo Dan said:


> That seems like a bad idea to me.  No parents are immediately around.  Kids play with the dog. One kid pokes/pulls/annoys the dog, the dog bites the kid's face....then what?


To quote my vet...
"Most dogs are pretty stupid - they get punched in the nose, ears pulled, fur grabbed, stuff like that, and they keep wagging their tail and coming back for more.  Don't worry about 99% of the dogs out there around your kids; worry about every cat.  Dogs love it and keep coming back.  Cats are smart enough to never go around the kid again, or they get even."

This came about when my wife was pregnant with our first child and I asked him about pets around kids.


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