# Who're you?



## Sam (Jun 16, 2006)

Just for fun. 

I am the sensei grandmaster 23rd degree tye-dye belt of clothes shopping. I can walk into the mall and try on 32 sizes of jeans and they will all look great on me. And the clerks will look at me and be like, omg she's so amazing we just have to give her these clothes for free - no, wait, we should pay her for being here! And if you dont believe me, ask my master who made me sacred holder and defender of the debit card...

Who're you?


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## HKphooey (Jun 16, 2006)

Paris Hilton?


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## Sam (Jun 16, 2006)

I didnt mean for it to be a guessing game, lol.

My grammar and syntax are better than hers, I hope...


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## HKphooey (Jun 16, 2006)

Lol!  I am about to leave work and then on a week's vacation.  I have cocktails on my mind right now.  So I am a little slow, like her.


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## Phadrus00 (Jun 16, 2006)

I.....  am Bulbous Fartybartfast..  Supreme Great Grandmaster of Fart-Fu the ancient and powerful art of flatulence fighting!

My disciples usually call me "Your Flatulence.." when they are not gagging...

I teach the Eight Tri-gram Buttocks style where we focus our inner chi into a noxious cloud and project it at our opponents!  They succumb to the lack of oxygen and the overpowering smell.  It's a crippling art!

Of course we cannot spar because it is TOO DANGEROUS (and technically banned by the Geneva Convention), but sometimes you can catch us practicing our art on the unfriendly civilians at the local Country Buffet when they try and cut into line for the Fried Chicken!

Oh and I AM taking new students...

Bulbous "The Stinky One"


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## matt.m (Jun 16, 2006)

I am grandmaster and supreme commander of Ninja Gaiden and Batman Begins, for the xbox.  I am father to jedi puppy Louie the Poodle, who is a 5th dan in chinese boxing.


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## OnlyAnEgg (Jun 16, 2006)

I am Grand UberSoke of Nincom Fu - A style of Martial Art so secret, even I, The Grand UberSoke, know nothing about it.  I can, however, go on and on, indefinitely, on all aspects of my art that make it infinitely better than your art


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## crushing (Jun 16, 2006)

I am an ignorant jeja with much to learn.  I have a wonderful wife and we have three beautiful children.



Well, at least that's what they told me to say at the briefing when I came to this planet.


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## Cryozombie (Jun 16, 2006)

I simply Am.

Nothing more, nothing less.


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## Xue Sheng (Jun 16, 2006)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I simply Am.
> 
> Nothing more, nothing less.


 
Well I was going to say "I am I"... but I guess, for all intensive purposes, you pretty much beat me to it.


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## kyudogrrl66 (Jun 16, 2006)

I am a 13th degree black belt in ShoYofut Karate. Our specialty is to brand our style's logo on our feet so that the hard calloused scars leave a welt on the enemy's cheek (our secret technique is the 720 snotfling kick).

Lest I forget to mention, if you ever visit our Master, Hanshi Scholl's (he prefers to be addressed as "Doctor", though), don't forget to bring an offering of epsom salts in lucky red envelopes. (Yeah, I know the red envelopes are a Chinese thing instead of Japanese, but we haven't found a way to tell him yet).

Ssssh...mums the word about out secret technique. I'll get my face logo'd for sure!!! Who's got my back??


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Jun 16, 2006)

I am only, and merely, Cheese. Very zen. Think about it.


























OK, stop that. You're pondering the zen of cheese, you silly person.


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## Carol (Jun 16, 2006)

I am the high priestess of an eastern religion.  Glass ceilings fear me, for I shatter them all and leave shards of destruction in my wake.   I am the grandmaster of Gen-X-do.  I killed my television, questioned authority, and now spend my time captivating men, astounding women,  and otherwise just jolly well enjoying life however I damn well please. :roflmao:


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## Flatlander (Jun 16, 2006)

I am the unbeatable and supreme master of Tiger Woods 2005 for XBox.  I have nearly $300 Million in earnings.  I have remained undefeated for well over a year.


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## TigerWoman (Jun 16, 2006)

I am it, her, the one ~ holder of adoration for four eyes of dogs especially when I set them free in the back yard.  But how exalted can I be when I have to pickup the poo, clean the poopy butts and keep them bathed, brushed, trimmed, fed, exercised and happy. Who's got who wrapped around their paw?  Well, I do hold the treats during training, but when full they will accept a pat on the head instead and they do finally come to me when exhausted outside, so yeah I must be something! TW


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## terryl965 (Jun 16, 2006)

I'am the most humble, honest and at the same time by saying that I cannot be so I'am just me Terry Lee Stoker consist studeny of my chosen Art and humble servant to all mankind.
Terry


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## Swordlady (Jun 17, 2006)

I am the Grandmaster Super Soke-Doke of Shaqido.  My secret weapon is a bouncing orange sphere.  Promotion in Shaqido is determined by the number of times you _miss_ throwing the orange sphere into the golden hoop.  I am ultimate master because I still have yet to throw the sphere through the hoop.


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## karatekid1975 (Jun 17, 2006)

I am the grandpoopa super grandmaster 15th dan of Typo-do. My enemy is out to kill this art, the spellcheck-do.


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## FearlessFreep (Jun 17, 2006)

I've already introduced myself ans Founder and Grand Master of "Lightning Duck Do"

Our most well known and secretive technique is the "Lightning Duck of Unhittable Face"  We also practice the techniques of "Miss Kwon Do" which is paraphrased loosely from Korean as "The Art Of The  Enemy's Foot Missing"


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## Drac (Jun 17, 2006)

I am Dracula, Prince of Darkness, Lord of Depravity, Master of The Undead and King of Vampires..I fear no mortal scum except *Bulbous* *Fartybartfast*, *Supreme Grandmaster of Fart-Fu* because even a vampire must breath..


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## Paul B (Jun 17, 2006)

I'm the guy hiding in the frozen foods aisle dialing 911. 

Wait..Isn't this the movie quotes thread?:uhyeah: Ah well.

Other than that..I am one of only two Hapkidoin in the whole world who can say the words "Lineage" and "Rank" and not get all red in the face. It doesn't sound like much..but it's a very rare gift,indeed. :asian:


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## Cryozombie (Jun 18, 2006)

Drac said:
			
		

> because even a vampire must breath..



Technically they don't.


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## bluemtn (Jun 18, 2006)

I have many aliases:  I am known mostly by those I work with as Soke Green Thumbs-  plant extraordinare.  I can throw arrangements together faster than lightning, and put everyone in awe at my skills!  I have quick wit and always try to help.  Watch out though-  can be a bit testy from time to time!


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## Phadrus00 (Jun 19, 2006)

Drac said:
			
		

> I am Dracula, Prince of Darkness, Lord of Depravity, Master of The Undead and King of Vampires..I fear no mortal scum except *Bulbous* *Fartybartfast*, *Supreme Grandmaster of Fart-Fu* because even a vampire must breath..


 
you better beleive it Drac....  BTW...  just came back from the Olive Garden..  Got some Garlic Fu for YU!  *bloated and grinning!*

Bulbous "The Stinky One"


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## Rich Parsons (Jun 19, 2006)

Sam said:
			
		

> Just for fun.
> 
> I am the sensei grandmaster 23rd degree tye-dye belt of clothes shopping. I can walk into the mall and try on 32 sizes of jeans and they will all look great on me. And the clerks will look at me and be like, omg she's so amazing we just have to give her these clothes for free - no, wait, we should pay her for being here! And if you dont believe me, ask my master who made me sacred holder and defender of the debit card...
> 
> Who're you?



I am Rich.

The Self elected PRESIDENT of the imorral Minority. Members about 6 billion strong, as the Moral Majority has about 1 million strong. I also hold the rank of 3 & 1/3 rank in the art of Internet Posting and laughing at oneself.


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## MA-Caver (Jun 19, 2006)

*I am the Grand-Master of Cave-Fu gaze upon me and suffer Awe!*

Behold I rest upon my throne!


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## Sam (Jun 19, 2006)

Nice photo.


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## Shaolinwind (Jun 20, 2006)

Sam said:
			
		

> Who're you?


 
I am Grand Master Chef of Ying Jow Pie.  You don't want a slice of Ying Jow Pie.  My culinary masterpieces can kill you in a whirlwind of supreme Yumminess.


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## Drac (Jun 20, 2006)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Technically they don't.


 
True, but it helped the joke...


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## Drac (Jun 20, 2006)

Phadrus00 said:
			
		

> you better beleive it Drac.... BTW... just came back from the Olive Garden.. Got some Garlic Fu for YU! *bloated and grinning!*
> 
> Bulbous "The Stinky One"


 
Woe is me...


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## Flatlander (Jul 5, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I am the unbeatable and supreme master of Tiger Woods 2005 for XBox. I have nearly $300 Million in earnings. I have remained undefeated for well over a year.


I was finally defeated by a friend of mine last week in a game of skins.  My shame is so great, I cannot bear to look at myself in the mirror.  I really ought to lash myself.....


ETA: It seems as though I've quoted myself, which of course is exceptionally lame.  And I thought my shame could be no greater....



:lol2:


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## stone_dragone (Jul 5, 2006)

I am the steely-eyed, silver-winged, barrel-chested god of my own small universe.  Small although it may be, it's paid for and it's mine.

I am the thing that fear itself stands in awe of, on occasion.

I am the king of my castle (when my wife isn't around.)

I am all that stands between this reality and total annihilation by the forces of Nerb...well, me and Mandy Patakin any way.


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## Shaolinwind (Jul 5, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> My shame is so great, I cannot bear to look at myself in the mirror. I really ought to lash myself.....


 
Mea culpa! Mea culpa!


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