# Warning labels for Alcohol



## D_Brady (Dec 23, 2004)

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
 manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following 
 warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

  1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what 
     the hell happened to your bra.

  2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
     think you are whispering when you are not.

  3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
     factor in dancing like a moron.

  4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
     to tell your friends over and over again that you love
     them.

  5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
     to think you can sing.

  6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that 
      ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the 
     morning.

  7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
     think you can logically converse with members of the
     opposite sex without spitting.

  8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
     think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your
     *** kicked.

  9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
     to roll over in the morning and see something really
     scary.

  10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of 
      inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

  11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
      you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

 12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you 
      are invisible.

   13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
       are laughing WITH you. and finally....

  14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in 
      the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally 
      disappear.


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## MA-Caver (Dec 23, 2004)

All of those above warnings were researched and verified by this fellow...


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## Sam (Jan 17, 2005)

I think I know that guy...
he lives in my basement...


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## Simon Curran (Jan 18, 2005)

I think I have experienced every one of those at one time or another...


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## shesulsa (Jan 18, 2005)

Dang.  My secret's out.


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