# I almost died a week ago



## Fight with attitude (Aug 18, 2005)

As some of you know I'm a bouncer, it's not the easyest job in the world. Last week I was trying to talk a guy into givening me his beer because he was drinking it illegelly. After a few times of asking I knew he wouldn't I grabbed the beer myself and tried to take it at which time I either got sucker punched or bottled with the beer bottle. Then the back of my head hit the ashfalut and cracked my skull wide open.

 I woke up in a puddle of blood, as I heard the sirens come to pick me up to go to the ER. I lost a lot of blood. I was told later that my brain was bleeding and I need to stay for a while. I thought I was going to die, I mean my brain was bleeding and when I got a cat scan a few days later the blood was increaseing. Now I was very worried, day by day I very slowly got better and I was relesed an 1 hour ago. I am very lucky that I'm even alive.

 I now want to talk to anyone and everyone that I can, so you can PM me or post on this thread, I would love to talk to you on the phone or in person. I could come by training one day if you wanted but I couldn't train, it's going to be weeks, maybe even months before I fully heal.

 I thought I was going to be a good bouncer because I've been training in MMA for about two years and I know how important talking is in bouncing but a week ago I was so very wrong, not all the training in the world could have prepared me to get sucker punched or sucker beer bottled like I did. So Bouncers and cops out there be carefully.

  God bless you,
  Don


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## Eternal Beginner (Aug 18, 2005)

I'm so terribly sorry to hear of your injury.  How are you doing now?  I'm sorry you feel a little let down that your training didn't save you, but you have to know that everyone, no matter how good their training is is vulnerable and no one is perfect.  I'm sure you were/are a good bouncer and will be succesful again if you choose to return.

 Be well, be strong, take time to heal and my prayers are with you.


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## The Kai (Aug 18, 2005)

Wow

I hope you will be allright.  Take it easy, the brain ain't nothin' to trifle with.  Rest up listen to the Doc


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## Fight with attitude (Aug 18, 2005)

The Kai said:
			
		

> Wow
> 
> I hope you will be allright.  Take it easy, the brain ain't nothin' to trifle with.  Rest up listen to the Doc


 Thanks, I to also hope it's not going to be a perament brain injury.


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## hwarang (Aug 18, 2005)

Yea Ive got a scar on the back of my head from  a damn beer bottle... YOu always have to be on your toes when working in security or public safety tough job...


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## kenpochad (Aug 18, 2005)

I hop every thing go good for you. And stick with your training.

Just remember your not superman sometimes all the training in the world wont 

Help if you get sucker punched.

That happened to a friend of mine he was walk a man out and at that last sec. the drunk decided to stab him its hard to read someone when they been have drinking. Sorry


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## searcher (Aug 18, 2005)

Get well quickly.   Keep us up on your recovery.


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## MA-Caver (Aug 18, 2005)

I'm feeling you're down because of the sucker punch. It happens. I'm glad you're okay and it seems you're going to be alright. 
Important thing is that you don't beat yourself up because you got suckered. Learn from it. Learn that even the best of us can be caught off guard. You were doing your job and you knew that there are risks involved. You can do better next time if you're going to stick with your job... or take another line of work where confrontations are at minimum or nothing. 
Hope you'll be okay in the future.


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## Phoenix44 (Aug 18, 2005)

Sorry to hear this.  Rest and take care of yourself. Don't overdo it or go back to training before your doctors think you're ready.


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## Martial Tucker (Aug 18, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> I thought I was going to be a good bouncer because I've been training in MMA for about two years and I know how important talking is in bouncing but a week ago I was so very wrong, not all the training in the world could have prepared me to get sucker punched or sucker beer bottled like I did. So Bouncers and cops out there be carefully.
> 
> God bless you,
> Don


  Hi Don,

 I participated in the thread you started about being a bouncer a few weeks ago, and I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you, but glad that you survived and are on the road to recovery. I have a few thoughts about what happened to you:

 First, my wife suffered a very bad fall on ice about two years ago and hit the back of her head, and had hemmoraging similar to yours. Her recovery was very slow. Her vision changed as a result of the accident, and she lost her sense of smell, which is not uncommon in severe head injuries. She has yet to regain the sense of smell, and may never regain it, but she has otherwise recovered. You are going to have good and bad days well after you feel like you have "mostly recovered". I guess I'm trying to say take your recovery and return to physical activities very slow for awhile.

 I have a couple of "tactical thoughts" about what happened, and I'm sorry if this sounds like a lecture, particularly so soon after what happened, but 
 my intent is to help you. Also, while I was a bouncer for 2-3 years in a fairly rowdy bar, my experience was over 20 years ago, so if anyone reading my comments has more experience in crowd control, they may feel free to either add to or contradict anything I say. I am not an expert, but rather someone with a bit of experience offering opinions.

 My main observation in your altercation was that you made a mistake in initiating physical contact with your "troublemaker", which from here I'll refer to as "TM". IMHO, the only time it is advisable to initiate contact with a TM is if he is unmistakebly in the process of attacking either you, another employee, or a patron. Also, you hit your head on asphalt, so you were outside, meaning the TM was no threat to other patrons inside the bar.
 I don't know the type of neighborhood your bar is in, or how many employees it has, but what I would have done in a situation where someone was doing something illegal, but not being violent would be:
  1. Tell him to stop.
  2. If necessary, tell him one more time to stop.
 3. At this point, it depends more upon the situation and other employees available for backup. If I had ample employee backup, or a partner, I would essentially surround the TM and tell him he must LEAVE immediately. 
 4. If he still refuses, instruct one other employee to go call the police, while the rest of the employees available continue to stand around the TM, in case he does turn violent, and to act as witnesses when the police arrive.

 I realize some of this may be impractical, depending on the situation and availability of employee backup, but my point is to never initiate physical aggression unless it is in defense of yourself or others. It's just not necessary. If physical aggression seems likely, get backup before you approach the TM, if possible. 
 The police would rather be called to keep a fight from occurring than to try and break up a group fight. Most TM's will back down when they are clearly outnumbered, and if they won't, thats what the police are for.

 Remember, 2 years of training doesnt make you invincible, and wearing a shirt with the bar's name on it doesnt mean you will get respect....sometimes it will make you a target.

 Sorry if this sounds harsh, but reading your journal, you sound like a really good, dedicated guy, and I have no doubt you'll be back at it in due time.

  Best of luck to you.


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## Kenpojujitsu3 (Aug 18, 2005)

Rest up, take it easy, add one more to the list of people praying for you.


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## Tony (Aug 18, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> As some of you know I'm a bouncer, it's not the easyest job in the world. Last week I was trying to talk a guy into givening me his beer because he was drinking it illegelly. After a few times of asking I knew he wouldn't I grabbed the beer myself and tried to take it at which time I either got sucker punched or bottled with the beer bottle. Then the back of my head hit the ashfalut and cracked my skull wide open.
> 
> I woke up in a puddle of blood, as I heard the sirens come to pick me up to go to the ER. I lost a lot of blood. I was told later that my brain was bleeding and I need to stay for a while. I thought I was going to die, I mean my brain was bleeding and when I got a cat scan a few days later the blood was increaseing. Now I was very worried, day by day I very slowly got better and I was relesed an 1 hour ago. I am very lucky that I'm even alive.
> 
> ...



Hve you thought of a career change? I woudl hate to be a relative of yours because I would die of worry stressing whether you would be a vegetable and you so easily could have died. Take this as a sign and choose something safer. Ok you could just as easily be knocked down by a car but I think if you work in a volatile environment such as this you have to expect to be challenged and assaulted byut every drunken idiot how doesn't want to leave his or her beer.  It doesn't matter how good your Martial Arts skills are you could be caught off guard at anytime! I mean it only takes second for someone to distract you and you're in a pool of blood on the floor.

Well I hope you get better and learn from this experience.


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## Ran Pleasant (Aug 18, 2005)

Don

I too wish you the best.




			
				Martial Tucker said:
			
		

> My main observation in your altercation was that you made a mistake in initiating physical contact with your "troublemaker", which from here I'll refer to as "TM". IMHO, the only time it is advisable to initiate contact with a TM is if he is unmistakebly in the process of attacking either you, another employee, or a patron. Also, you hit your head on asphalt, so you were outside, meaning the TM was no threat to other patrons inside the bar.


Well said. In my younger days back in the early 1980s I worked as a bouncer at a club in rual North Louisiana who's customers included local college kids and the local redneck population (really nice mix of people). I saw the job more as a peace maker than as a protector. I was able to breakup all of the confrontations before they became actual fights, I never got hurt, and none of the customers were ever hurt. I used the word "Sir" a great deal and I was very quick to buy a drink for the parties involved and even quicker to call the police. Grabing someone who is drunk and mad is never a good idea. Although it was fun at times I also quickly realized that there are a lot better jobs than bouncing.


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## still learning (Aug 18, 2005)

Hello,  Bouncing is dirty work, knowing you will be dealing with EGO drunk guys.  Your job requires you to ask them nicely knowing it could get ulgy.  

 Watch for knives/guns and after you finish work most of you know you have to watch your backs..........get as must infomation from other bouncers/ books and videos about your line of work while you are resting from your injury.  Also read tongue Fu / Judo fu!

 Every adversity can lead to a greater benifit..........take care....Aloha


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## Jonathan Randall (Aug 18, 2005)

Well, glad to hear that you didn't! There has been some great advice given in this thread so rather than repeat any, I'll just wish you a speedy recovery.


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## Sam (Aug 18, 2005)

I hope you recover soon and don't give up on your training.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Aug 19, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> As some of you know I'm a bouncer, it's not the easyest job in the world. Last week I was trying to talk a guy into givening me his beer because he was drinking it illegelly. After a few times of asking I knew he wouldn't I grabbed the beer myself and tried to take it at which time I either got sucker punched or bottled with the beer bottle. Then the back of my head hit the ashfalut and cracked my skull wide open.
> 
> I woke up in a puddle of blood, as I heard the sirens come to pick me up to go to the ER. I lost a lot of blood. I was told later that my brain was bleeding and I need to stay for a while. I thought I was going to die, I mean my brain was bleeding and when I got a cat scan a few days later the blood was increaseing. Now I was very worried, day by day I very slowly got better and I was relesed an 1 hour ago. I am very lucky that I'm even alive.
> 
> ...


I posted on another thread, about a year ago, about a gentleman I know who is an excellent JKD instructor with impeccable kick-boxing, FMA, and BJJ skills. Teaches cops, combat hand-gunning, spec ops boys, etc. Got clocked with a beer bottle in a bar; never saw it coming. The guy is a phenom combatant that would tool 99.9% of any given member of the world population in a brawl, but-you-have-to-sense-the-attack!  Nobody is bullet-proof. Learn from it; heal up to the best of your body's ability, and keep on trucking.

Best of Health in your recovery,

Dave

PS -- Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is a nasty thing that can have life-long residuals. Take it slow, remembering to give your body the rest and nutrition it needs to completely heal up.


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## Fight with attitude (Aug 19, 2005)

I just want to say thank you to all that posted on this thread and PMed me. It means a lot.

 I will be doing an inerview with the local newpaper so hopefully I can bring a little more respect to the bouncing world because now everyone thinks bouncers are just people who love to fight and don't have a brain.


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## swiftpete (Aug 20, 2005)

Good luck with your recovery,  I don't mean to just echo what others have said, but no one is invincible, my instructor always tells me, anyone can get hit with a sucker punch. I've been clocked myself with one so I know what its like, coming to your senses in a pool of blood is never nice!!

Get well soon, sounds like a good time to get into playing computer games and generally relaxing around the place!


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## Kamaria Annina (Aug 29, 2005)

I'm so glad to hear that you are alright.  I hope the injury hasn't left you with any major problems.  You are very fortunate, and thank you for letting us know you're okay!


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## Fight with attitude (Aug 29, 2005)

I just want to give everyone an update on how I'm doing and post an article about me from a winnipeg newspaper.

I'm still having pains in my head, they are getting better but they are still there and hurt the quality of my life. I'm not as zoned out of it as I once was but I'm still not 100% here, so hopefully I'll be able to go to school next week and learn at a good rate where I can get the kind of marks I want.

I'm still not sure when the next time I'm going to be training if ever. I have heard of people with brain injurys having to never go back to the sport they love because of the brain injury. I'm hopeing I don't have that kind of an injury but I do know I won't be training for a very long time, at least 6 months to a year.

I did have an interview done with me on what happened with my brain. http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Winnipeg/2005/08/29/1192262-sun.html

Finally, I just want to thank everybody on this site. I really enjoy reading all the posts on this site. Thank you for all your help and support with my head injury.


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## arnisador (Aug 29, 2005)

Good luck, and thanks for sharing your story. Hopefully others will take heed.


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## John Lacy (Aug 30, 2005)

Fight with Attitude.
I am glad your feeling better. I know training may be a far thing for now. But when you're able,and the Doc's say it's OK, get back to it. Get back to the feeling of accomplishment when you finish class. Get back to the comraderie you feel at class. Get back to the things that make you smile. Get back to who you know you are.

Don't give up-- Don't ever give up- Coach Jimmy Valvano


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## Eternal Beginner (Sep 27, 2005)

How about an update?  How are you doing now?

 I hope things are looking up for you.


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## Jonathan Randall (Sep 29, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> I just want to give everyone an update on how I'm doing and post an article about me from a winnipeg newspaper.
> 
> I'm still having pains in my head, they are getting better but they are still there and hurt the quality of my life. I'm not as zoned out of it as I once was but I'm still not 100% here, so hopefully I'll be able to go to school next week and learn at a good rate where I can get the kind of marks I want.
> 
> ...


Good luck with your recovery. I was in a serious automobile accident 3 1/2 years ago and, despite using a seat belt, sustained a head injury. It takes some time but you may have a greater recovery than expected - the brain has multiple redundancies.


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## masherdong (Sep 30, 2005)

Sorry to hear about that.  I hope you get well soon.


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## Soldier (Sep 30, 2005)

Sorry to hear what have happened to you.
Everyone is unique,
but I would guess that I would try some supplements to speed up recovery.
Vit. C, Zink, Sulfur are some of them.

Get well soon!


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## Soldier (Sep 30, 2005)

Also take a look into ginkgo and how it can help you.


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## Fight with attitude (Oct 10, 2005)

Eternal Beginner said:
			
		

> How about an update?  How are you doing now?
> 
> I hope things are looking up for you.


 Everything is slowly getting better. The doctor said my thinking patten was doing great which I think is from going to school and reading books all day.

 My cardio is still pretty bad, I can't even walk up stairs without being out of breath. The doctor said it this was a pretty big shock to my cardio system so I will have a lot less energy. I do go for walks to help my cardio system get better faster, it still might be some time before I can jog or even run.

 They still don't know how much if any perament damage is done, only more time will tell, which is kinda worrying me because it might cut back on the quality of life I have. I try to think positive because I have already come so far, when it happened the doctors thought there was a high proablity of me dieing within 24 hours and even if I did live pass 24 hours they thought I might be mentally handicapped. Now I'm doing a full course load at a University getting straight A's so far, six weeks ago I was looking and feeling so bad but I never gave up, I've been reading books with people who had the mental will to never give up when face with bad odd's with diseases. People where doctors said they would be ok and then died and people who doctors said they would die and then lived. A lot of this has to do with the thinking in the person. I think this may have played a part in where I am today so I'm going to fight what ever this injury throws at me.

 I have a goal to get a degree in psychology, it's something that I wanted for years and as I said before I'm going to put up a hell of a fight to this injury.

 This whole near death experience has given me things that I could not have got other wise. I really found out what I was made of when I was in bad shape, it made me realize if I can beat this then I can put up a hell of a fight againest anything this world thows at me. This has event has changed me in so many ways that I sometimes see myself in my second life. There was the person before the assult and the person after the assult who acts very different (and IMHO better) then the first. I'm stronger now then I have ever been in my life. This post is getting very long so I'll just stop right here


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## Flying Crane (Oct 10, 2005)

If it still looks like a long time til you can train again, maybe consider finding a good Tai Chi instructor.  It could be much more gentle, and gradual return to training.  the gentle movement might even help with your overall recovery.  Emotionally, you would have a reconnection to your training so it might be easier to handle.  baby steps will get you there.  all the best.


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## mantis (Oct 10, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> As some of you know I'm a bouncer, it's not the easyest job in the world. Last week I was trying to talk a guy into givening me his beer because he was drinking it illegelly. After a few times of asking I knew he wouldn't I grabbed the beer myself and tried to take it at which time I either got sucker punched or bottled with the beer bottle. Then the back of my head hit the ashfalut and cracked my skull wide open.
> 
> I woke up in a puddle of blood, as I heard the sirens come to pick me up to go to the ER. I lost a lot of blood. I was told later that my brain was bleeding and I need to stay for a while. I thought I was going to die, I mean my brain was bleeding and when I got a cat scan a few days later the blood was increaseing. Now I was very worried, day by day I very slowly got better and I was relesed an 1 hour ago. I am very lucky that I'm even alive.
> 
> ...


 sorry to hear that
 it's horrible
 get well, and heal fast
 and most importantly GET OFF THE COMPUTER! (if told by a real doc)


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## arnisador (Oct 10, 2005)

Good luck! Keep a good attitude. College profs. will work with you--I'm one and I've had such students before. Just speak to them early on in the semester.


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## Eternal Beginner (Oct 11, 2005)

Fight with attitude said:
			
		

> ...six weeks ago I was looking and feeling so bad but I never gave up...


 And it is precisely this attitude that will see you through this whole ordeal.

 Your mental toughness and refusal to accept anything less than your best will pull you through this.  All the best and thanks for the update, I hope all your dreams come true.

 By the way, Winnipeg has a great support group for survivor's of head injury and another one for their families and friends to help everyone cope with the after effects. I hope you have looked into this as it can be a really great resource while you recover.


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## Fight with attitude (Oct 12, 2005)

Thanks everyone for the comments. A very special thing happened in class today. My psychology prof gave us a book to read which was written by his brother.

 It's called dying and living, in it he wrote about his cancer. He's had cancer since he was 28 and he is now 62. By all accounts he should be die, doctors have told him he was going to die several times, he beat all the odds and is still alive after all these years. The book was writen in 1985 and today my psychology prof spent most of the class talking about what happened to his brother in the last 20 years after the book was put out. He was very emotional talking about his brother getting a relapse many times and fighting through each of them. When I thought about what he went through it made me think that if he can fight that for so long then I should fight anything this head injury throws at me with everything in me.

 I wanted to join my prof in crying in class but I fought back the tears and it wasn't because I was sad that I wanted to cry. It was for joy, people told him many times he was going to die and he never gave up and when to work with maintaining a high rep in his company, it made me want to get 95% on my next test then 85% and it made me want to come back to the dojo and leave my heart and soul on the mat.

 I wanting to go up to my prof and thank him for the update on his brother but I knew I would burst into tears if I did, so as soon as I got home I email him. He was very kind, saying if I ever need anything I could call him at home and he gave his brother's email address so I could email him if I wanted which I did right after I finished reading my prof's email.


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## Fight with attitude (Oct 12, 2005)

I must not be the only one in this kind of a situation on the fourm. I'm sure other people have diseases that have to be fought off. The book that inspired me so much and continues inspired me everyday is called *Dying and Living. One Man's Life with Cancer.* It is written by *Kenneth A. Shapiro.*

 I really encourage everyone who has a disease to fight or knows of someone close to them that has a disease to fight to buy this book. This book has helped so many people before because it is so inspiring. The book is out of print so it may be harder to find. The one place I know where to find it is at the University of Manitoba's bookstore. So if you don't live in winnipeg this book may be harder to get. If anyone wants a copy of the book, please PM me or reply here and I'll email the writer of the book Kenneth and talk to my prof about finding an easyer way of getting this book for you. The cost is $15 at the store, it may be more for shipping.

 I've read this book cover to cover and I contine to reread it because it does help me out so much in my daily life.


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## jbclinic (Oct 16, 2005)

glad to here that you are doing better. if you were by yourself then your assesment was off, working with a team, the team would've been in position upon redirection of the civillian. not to disrespect or tell you that your approach was wrong. i think if you keep your job, that you will use a different tact.

god bless,good luck      keep your eyes open 

                    james


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