# Talking about training



## Flatlander (Jan 31, 2006)

I remember when I first started training in JKD.  I was so excited about the concepts that I was learning, I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to _everybody_ about it.

What I found was that most people were mainly disinterested.  I found this really surprising - how could everyone in the world not find this stuff exciting and intriguing?  Doesn't everyone in the world want to understand this stuff?

Has any one else had this experience?  How did it make you feel?  Did you receive any surprising or negative responses?


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## Bigshadow (Jan 31, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I remember when I first started training in JKD.  I was so excited about the concepts that I was learning, I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to _everybody_ about it.
> 
> What I found was that most people were mainly disinterested.  I found this really surprising - how could everyone in the world not find this stuff exciting and intriguing?  Doesn't everyone in the world want to understand this stuff?
> 
> Has any one else had this experience?  How did it make you feel?  Did you receive any surprising or negative responses?


HAHAHA  I think many of us go through this.  Heck that is why we are here on MT.  I found out very early that when I talked about my training, other than those that train, nobody understood me and or was interested.  So I don't talk about it too much to outside of the dojo or MT.  Unless of course I am trying to recruit someone.


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## OnlyAnEgg (Jan 31, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I remember when I first started training in JKD. I was so excited about the concepts that I was learning, I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to _everybody_ about it.
> 
> What I found was that most people were mainly disinterested. I found this really surprising - how could everyone in the world not find this stuff exciting and intriguing? Doesn't everyone in the world want to understand this stuff?
> 
> Has any one else had this experience? How did it make you feel? Did you receive any surprising or negative responses?


 
Oh, yes...I understand this well.  Even my wife was bleh about my training.  I have about 2 people, outside of class, to speak with on the topic (excepting this clan here, of course).

The most negative comment came from my soon-to-be-ex, in which she said, 'I am SO sick of hearing martial this and martial that'.  The most positive came from a friend (female) that said, 'That'll buff you up'.


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## jdinca (Jan 31, 2006)

They pretend to look interested in the beginning, but the eyes soon glaze over...


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## Lisa (Jan 31, 2006)

jdinca said:
			
		

> They pretend to look interested in the beginning, but the eyes soon glaze over...



The "deer in the headlights look" 

Yup, been there, done that.  See I talked about it to my husband constantly.  But I figured if I had to contantly listen about guns and ammunition and what type of powder to use, what brass, etc.  He deserves every minute of my babbling 

I tried to share my interest with family, they just didn't care.  They were polite but I got a lot of "oh, yeah, that is nice" 

Basically I find if people don't hold interest in what you are doing themselves, if they don't train, they don't want to hear it.  I suppose that is why we flock to MA boards like these.  Birds of a feather..


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## hemi (Jan 31, 2006)

Its good to see I am not the only one in this situation. It drove me nuts that I would tell friends about what I was learning and to me it was very cool but they for the most part are very uninterested. Even my better half has no interest in any part of my training. But I get even LOL, when she goes to talking about curtains and room decorations I just nicely remind her that this kind of frilly froo froo stuff is as interesting to me as Kenpo is to her.


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## Sam (Jan 31, 2006)

they just dont understand. have sympathy for them.


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## Eternal Beginner (Jan 31, 2006)

It's true.  I guess that is why so many of my husband and my friends nowadays are also training partners of ours.  They understand our obsession and our social circle is mainly made up of BJJ and karate friends, almost all of whom  are currently training or have done so.  We always have tons to talk about!

My family, however, doesn't want to hear anything about it.  Although I have converted a couple of my nephews into UFC and Pride fans...so slowly I will take over the family as well!


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## jdinca (Jan 31, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> Yup, been there, done that. See I talked about it to my husband constantly. But I figured if I had to contantly listen about guns and ammunition and what type of powder to use, what brass, etc. He deserves every minute of my babbling


 
Nice payback. :lol:


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## Gemini (Jan 31, 2006)

Absolutely! It proved to be both something good and bad. Bad, because I wanted (and still do) to talk about it all the time and glazed over only begins to describe it. Good, because that's ultimately how I got here with all you good folks!


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## bluemtn (Jan 31, 2006)

I don't usually talk to anyone (other than here) about MA training.  About 98% of the people I told what I do in my spare time, were open enough to not act goofy.  However, nearly no one is interested in what I'm doing.  I said in another post, how another female said, "I would like to do something like that, but I just couldn't".  She acted like it was like becoming a secret agent of some sort.


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## Flatlander (Jan 31, 2006)

Well, I have to agree with all of this.  There's just this thing - this spark of interest - that not everybody has.  It's what separates us from the rest of society.  Maybe we're weird.....

But it tells me something!  It tells me that the Martial Talk forum serves a purpose for us that nothing else can.  It gives us an opportunity to share with others of like mind, because if they're not of like mind, they don't want to discuss this stuff! (man are _they_ missing out....)

Anyway, why not do your training partners and interested friends a favour, and refer them here?  The more of us there are, the stronger our community will be.  At least think about it, will ya?

Thanks to all those who have replied!


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## TheBattousai (Jan 31, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> Well, I have to agree with all of this. There's just this thing - this spark of interest - that not everybody has. It's what separates us from the rest of society. Maybe we're weird.....


 
No, most people just don't want to do anything good for themselves....


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## evenflow1121 (Jan 31, 2006)

I think that is one of the reasons video promotions and one year black belt courses are so on the rise, cause people dont want to put up with the hard work.  Sure, most people I know are quite disinterested in any form of MA, they dont understand that it is not just self defense, that is just one piece of the puzzle, but a way of life.


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## terryl965 (Jan 31, 2006)

Flatlander I believe we have all been there at one time or another. Real training is what it is about and liking the training is a plus and being enthusiactic about it is icing on the cake.
Terry


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## Drac (Feb 1, 2006)

TheBattousai said:
			
		

> No, most people just don't want to do anything good for themselves....


 
Amen...


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## KenpoTess (Feb 1, 2006)

Then you get the 'Karate Kid' weirdos, assuming a crane stance,(though looks more like a stork laying an egg stance) croaking out some funky pseudo kiai... 


*shakes head*..


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## Bigshadow (Feb 1, 2006)

evenflow1121 said:
			
		

> I think that is one of the reasons video promotions and one year black belt courses are so on the rise, cause people dont want to put up with the hard work.



For the most part, people want immediate gratification.  You don't get immediate gratification from MA.  Well, there is.... but on a different level that they don't understand.


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## scottcatchot (Feb 3, 2006)

Well, I used to be in Amtgaurd, A medevial(sp) reinactment group We dressed in period garb and pummeled each other with foam padded weapons and such. This always drew far more funny comments than my martial arts training.  
%-}


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## Grenadier (Feb 3, 2006)

Most of us that signed up for a martial arts-related forum, are probably more dedicated than the "average" martial artist.  This is not to say that those that don't sign up aren't dedicated, it's just that I'm only looking at a sampling from one group. 

The dedicated folks are going to find the martial arts to be more exciting than others will.  There's no doubt about it.  I can take a look at one of the classes I teach, and compare some of the more enthusiastic students with the ones that really don't want to be there (and would probably play hooky if their parent(s) weren't watching).  The differences in the eagerness to learn and the enjoyment of the training is easily evident.  

Some folks who aren't quite as eager as the more enthusiastic ones can still grow to certainly enjoy it more as time goes on.  Some folks simply need time to crawl out of their proverbial shells.  It should actually be pretty easy to see who really wants to be there and who does not, after a couple of years of training.


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## stone_dragone (Feb 3, 2006)

For the longest time, my in-laws looked at me as if I had a tomato plant growing out of my forehead whenever the topic of martial arts came up...then my father-in-law tried aikido!  HOOKED!

I love being able to talk to him about this common thread we have now and, even though we got along great before, this has brought us even closer.  

For the most part, however, I have found that I don't discuss martial arts with anyone who doesn't practice. The main reason being that I will talk forever on subjects fueled by just one question, so I try to answer in short, one word answers now as to hold my tongue and avoid the fatal eye-glaze.


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## cali_tkdbruin (Feb 4, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> I remember when I first started training in JKD. I was so excited about the concepts that I was learning, I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to _everybody_ about it.
> .
> .
> .
> Has any one else had this experience?  How did it make you feel?  Did you receive any surprising or negative responses?


I don't share the fact I'm a martial artist with people other than my immediate family unless I'm asked. When someone does inquire, they're for the most part interested and the response is usually positive. Some people do think it's strange that we do martial arts because of all the misconceptions they've learned from the movies and the media. We Martial Artists are mostly normal people who enjoy the MA we practice, nothing more, nothing less. 

Well, that's unless you're a 7 year old kid and your parents are forcing you to do martial arts... :idunno:


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## Kacey (Feb 4, 2006)

I remember when I first started... it was so COOL!  I couldn't believe that no one else I knew (except the guy I was dating who talked me into trying TKD) knew about this cool stuff.  I was so excited... although people looked at me funny when I bowed coming into work (the entrance to the lab was the same configuration as the entrance to the dojang... you know how *that *goes...).  Over the 19 years I've been in TKD, some of the newness has worn off - but never the enjoyment and excitment.  I love teaching, and I love practicing and learning new things.

Most of my friends have heard about it... seen me limping last year after my last testing - when the instructor's wife (who is a nurse practioner, in addition to being an I Dan, and knows whereof she speaks) tells you later she can't believe you kept going after what sounded like a ligament in your knee ripping... well... it *was *my IV Dan test - and I do have 5 years to heal now... but still... it *is *an addiction - but hey, at least it's a (mostly) *healthy *addiction!  

I don't talk about it at work much, because I teach middle school, and if I talk about it where the kids can hear, they start asking things like "can you break this desk?" - to which the only reasonable answer is "do you have $100 to buy a new one?", followed by "look underneath, what do you see?" (answer) "A metal bar" (me) "no" - and anyway, desks are particle board covered with laminate!  Not the best breaking material in the world.  But all of my friends indulge me when I talk about my students (both TKD and school), so it's not that bad.  

One of my friends even came to me once, somewhat embarrassed, because her then 9 year-old daughter's doctor had recommended martial arts as a way to teach the child discipline (slight impulse control problem), which I had already recommended; my friend, who had thought I was kidding, came to me to ask about finding her daughter a class, since I teach on the other side of town from where she lives (a 45 minute drive each way for a 90 minute class is a little impractical for a 9 year-old, after all!).

My father always accepted my TKD training, even if he's never truly understood it; my mother thought it was a phase I was going through until about 10 years ago, when she came to watch my class, and talked to the 
parents of some of my students - after that, she understood the instructing part, but she's never understood the rest of it, and probably never will.


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## Zepp (Feb 6, 2006)

I totally understand what this thread is about.  Some of the other martial artists I know don't even care to talk about martial arts.  Just a few hard-core addicts like us.

Once, only once, I made the mistake of trying to discuss martial arts on a first date.  Didn't go over very well.

For the most part, I've learned to keep any mention of my favorite hobby brief unless I'm talking to a fellow enthusiast/addict.


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## krowe (Sep 3, 2021)

Flatlander said:


> I remember when I first started training in JKD.  I was so excited about the concepts that I was learning, I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to _everybody_ about it.
> 
> What I found was that most people were mainly disinterested.  I found this really surprising - how could everyone in the world not find this stuff exciting and intriguing?  Doesn't everyone in the world want to understand this stuff?
> 
> Has any one else had this experience?  How did it make you feel?  Did you receive any surprising or negative responses?


Oh wow, yeah I know that feeling. I mean its so interesting! Like who knew there was so much to learn. Its a gift that keeps on giving you know? I don't think there is anything in my life that is as interesting and fulfilling as the study of martial arts. Yet. As you said lotta people don't get that. I guess different strokes for different folks. Some peeps like violin, others wanna paint. Then some like martial arts.


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## Gyakuto (Sep 8, 2021)

The martial arts are so ubiquitous these days, they have lost their allure with the general public. I’ve been practising Japanese swordsmanship (with a kiri wood bokuto, naturally) in a quiet corner of the woods and many people merely  give me a glance and walk on by. Unless one is leaping around like Beatrix Kiddo, nobody is interested.


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## Hanzou (Sep 9, 2021)

Gyakuto said:


> The martial arts are so ubiquitous these days, they have lost their allure with the general public. I’ve been practising Japanese swordsmanship (with a kiri wood bokuto, naturally) in a quiet corner of the woods and many people merely  give me a glance and walk on by. Unless one is leaping around like Beatrix Kiddo, nobody is interested.



I think a better way to put it is that they've been de-mystified.  Kung Fu movies and martial arts movies from the 70s, 80s, and 90s had guys doing backflips, flying kicks, and other fancy moves to defeat hordes of people, and that was very attractive to people. As a child of the 90s, I still remember the pre-UFC world where people would debate whether Van Damme or Chuck Norris could beat Steven Segal. People took up Aikido for that very reason, because they believed that they could stand in one place and throw bad guys around like paper dolls. It was a far more innocent/ignorant time.

Then Royce Gracie came along and showed people what fighting actually looked like, and it wasn't fancy or spectacular, just practical. So unlike the 1970s when people would watch a Bruce Lee movie and would flood into a Kung Fu school so that they can fight like the paragon they just watched on screen, people today see a movie like Shang Chi and recognize that it's just a movie. They know that if they want to really know how to fight, they need to go to a BJJ, Muay Thai, Boxing, MMA, etc. gym. People simply aren't buying the fantasy anymore.


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## Gyakuto (Sep 9, 2021)

Mystery was all we had really. As we all know, there’s nothing intrinsically special about MAs…it’s just hard work and _lots_ practise. But before we took the red pill and our eyes were opened, there was the possibility of ‘special’ training, ‘special’ incantations, ‘special’ foods/elixirs/ointments etc  I’m feeling nostalgic…

You’re right, they don’t buy our fantasy anymore, it’s now superheroes and men in special costumes that fly!


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## Gyakuto (Oct 4, 2021)

Martial arts, guitars, synthesisers, taiko playing, general relativity, Noh….nobody’s interested unless they are involved.


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## KenpoMaster805 (Oct 4, 2021)

Same with kenpo 1st your interested but after the while it’s the same thing over over and it’s get boring for some people like we used to have a lot but some of them quit but there some new ones kids that is mostly kids are joining no more adult that’s joining


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