# Jesus In The Bar



## MA-Caver (Oct 26, 2009)

The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too. 

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slow. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too. 

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too. 

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door. 

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. 

Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"


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## Omar B (Oct 26, 2009)

Ok, but why was the Redneck getting disability?  You didn't mention what was wrong with him.


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## MA-Caver (Oct 26, 2009)

Omar B said:


> Ok, but why was the Redneck getting disability?  You didn't mention what was wrong with him.


He's a redneck... what more disability do you need?


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## Omar B (Oct 26, 2009)

He gets disability for being a redneck?  Guess I just don't find your joke funny.


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## Dirty Dog (Oct 26, 2009)

Omar B said:


> Ok, but why was the Redneck getting disability? You didn't mention what was wrong with him.


 
I hate it when you have to explain the joke...

There was nothing wrong with the redneck. He (like many others) is on disability for no good reason.


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## crushing (Oct 26, 2009)

Dirty Dog said:


> I hate it when you have to explain the joke...
> 
> There was nothing wrong with the redneck. He (like many others) is on disability for no good reason.


 
Are you sure?  I thought it was a social commentary on how the person with a neck red from toiling for years in the sun on a farm that has been in his family for generations can save more money drawing disability than he can competing with corporate farms whos subsidies allow them to maintain artificially low prices.  With that money his son, who isn't planning on being stuck on the farm his whole life as he sees the writing on the wall, can go to college and be the first in the family to earn a degree.


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## arnisador (Oct 26, 2009)

Lol!


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## Bill Mattocks (Oct 26, 2009)

MA-Caver said:


> Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"



I'm not offended, and I get the context, but what is actually interesting here is that some people are not aware of just how many people in the USA are drawing some form of 'disability' compensation.

http://www.infouse.com/disabilitydata/disability/5_1.php



> The number of noninstitutionalized people in the United States with a work disability is estimated to be 16.9 million, which represents *10.1% of the working age population (16 to 64 years old)*.



Based strictly on percentages (not considering the merits of the individual disability), you have about a 70% chance of getting awarded a disability pension from the government if you file and pursue the claim vigorously (ie, with a lawyer of the type who specialize in this sort of thing):

http://disabilityblogger.blogspot.com/2007/06/how-many-people-win-disability-benefits.html

What is commonly not known is that disability is a common 'retirement' for police officers and firefighters.  It is understandable to some extent, in that police officers and firefighters put their lives at risk and injuries are not uncommon.  However, there is a common understanding by those in these fields - a 'disability pension' generally pays better than a standard retirement, and you can retire 'early' so to speak if you happen to have a disability of the sort covered.  And it is *TAX FREE* in most cases.


Abuse?  Well, it is hard to say, but consider the some cities like Boston have reports more disability pensions awarded in the past two years than had been awarded in the past 20 years combined.  Some cities facing financial difficulties are trying to get union concessions on disability retirement claims, as the cost to the cities is skyrocketing.  And there is some level of fraud being claimed:

http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2009/10/disability_frau.html

http://www.newsday.com/long-island/...ability-payout-needs-more-oversight-1.1513460

The problem has gotten so bad, that some retirement funds have reported that the percentage of employees retiring has dropped - because they're on disability!!!

So it isn't just 'rednecks', but the joke is still funny in the sense that yeah, there are a lot of people out there on 'disability retirements' who would hate to actually lose their disability - they'd have to go back to work.

We talk about health care reform, here's one area that needs fixing.  Yes, there are people who are actually hurt and deserving of disability pay.  But IMHO, there are also a whole lot of fakers who have figured out how to game the system and discovered that disability retirement is more lucrative than actual retirement.


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## jim777 (Oct 28, 2009)

I thought it was funny, and I have no other comment


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## celtic_crippler (Oct 28, 2009)

Remember the days when you could just tell a joke and nobody took it seriously?


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## MA-Caver (Oct 28, 2009)

celtic_crippler said:


> Remember the days when you could just tell a joke and nobody took it seriously?


Or if they didn't get it they'd just ignore it? (sorry Omar)


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