# Signs That You have Grown Up (and Old)



## Drac (Feb 7, 2007)

Signs You Have Grown Up (and Old) 
*25 Signs You've Grown Up*
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn't apply to you. 


Author Unknown





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## jdinca (Feb 7, 2007)

Whew! Only about one out of four apply...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 7, 2007)

I am really not going to say how many apply so I may continue on practicing self-delusion


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## morph4me (Feb 7, 2007)

jdinca said:


> Whew! Only about one out of four apply...


 
Damn kids!!:shock:


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## Kreth (Feb 7, 2007)

When you play a multi-band gig, and guys from the other bands call you "Old School."


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## bushidomartialarts (Feb 7, 2007)

when you actually catch yourself saying 'when i was your age'

when teenage girls in skimpy outfits make your brain, not your inseam, uncomfortable.


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## morph4me (Feb 7, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> when teenage girls in skimpy outfits make your brain, not your inseam, uncomfortable.


 
When I get THAT old, put me out of my misery


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## evenflow1121 (Feb 7, 2007)

20, 21, 22 are great


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## Drac (Feb 7, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> when teenage girls in skimpy outfits make your brain, not your inseam, uncomfortable.


 


morph4me said:


> When I get THAT old, put me out of my misery


 
Ditto..


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## Amazon (Feb 7, 2007)

Drac said:


> Signs You Have Grown Up (and Old)
> *25 Signs You've Grown Up*
> 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
> 
> ...



DUDE!!  I'm _*27*_ and it's already all true.

Just kill me now........ :vu::vu:


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## ArmorOfGod (Feb 7, 2007)

I was at the grocery store and they were having a sweepstakes to win 2 years of free groceries and that excite me.
That's sad when 2 years of groceries is more exciting than than winning the new car option.

AoG


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## dubljay (Feb 7, 2007)

Amazon said:


> DUDE!!  I'm _*27*_ and it's already all true.
> 
> Just kill me now........ :vu::vu:




Imagine how I feel at 22 and having a fair number of those apply.  *sigh*


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 7, 2007)

I am sorry but the following is required when people in there 20s think they are old. It is not me it is just something that is required and must be done. :asian:



Amazon said:


> DUDE!! I'm _*27*_ and it's already all true.
> 
> Just kill me now........ :vu::vu:


 
OLD!!!:cuss: I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL BEFORE YOU WERE BORN  :uhyeah:



dubljay said:


> Imagine how I feel at 22 and having a fair number of those apply. *sigh*


 
OLD!!!:cuss: I HAVE LEATHER JACKETS OLDER THAN YOU :uhyeah:

I will spare you the part about me walking 20 miles to school in 8 feet of snow however. I know I am shirking my duties as a Geezer but it is my naptime.

Damn now that I wrote that I realize I AM old...


Please carry on with the regularly scheduled post


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## Carol (Feb 7, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> OLD!!!:cuss: I HAVE LEATHER JACKETS OLDER THAN YOU :uhyeah:


 
I do too. And Xue?? 

Here's to STILL BEING ABLE TO WEAR THEM. 

:highfive: :highfive: 

We may be old, but we....look...mahvelous


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 7, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> I do too. And Xue??
> 
> Here's to STILL BEING ABLE TO WEAR THEM.
> 
> ...


 
Good point Carol. 

As a friend of mine said as he walked away from the stage after spending the entire show hugging the amps at Metallica concert (when they played small clubs)&#8230; I FEEL BETTER NOW :highfive:

Wear it, damn straight&#8230; I&#8217;m gonna be buried in it&#8230; it&#8217;s a Walter Dyer.


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## jdinca (Feb 7, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Damn kids!!:shock:


 
You're just jealous, grandpa! :biggun:


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## jdinca (Feb 7, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> I am sorry but the following is required when people in there 20s think they are old. It is not me it is just something that is required and must be done. :asian:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Damn, you ARE old! :uhyeah:


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## morph4me (Feb 7, 2007)

jdinca said:


> You're just jealous, grandpa! :biggun:


 

Grandpa??? Now that really hurts:vu:


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## crushing (Feb 7, 2007)

Drac said:


> Signs You Have Grown Up (and Old)
> *igns You've Grown Up*
> 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.




People actually start ruling out places to have sex?????




Drac said:


> 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.




LOL!  I've heard Black Sabbath and Metallica as elevator music.




Drac said:


> 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.




This reminds me of my wife telling me about how embarrassing it was to watch 'There's Something About Mary' with my mom.  Especially the 'hair gel from the ear' scene.


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## Carol (Feb 7, 2007)

crushing said:


> People actually start ruling out places to have sex?????


 
:idunno:


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## jdinca (Feb 7, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Grandpa??? Now that really hurts:vu:


 
It's all right. My kids are 15, 16, and 20. I could be a grandpa at any time at the tender young age of 43. Gives me nightmares...


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## morph4me (Feb 8, 2007)

jdinca said:


> It's all right. My kids are 15, 16, and 20. I could be a grandpa at any time at the tender young age of 43. Gives me nightmares...


 

Mine are 27 and 23, but I'm still not ready to be a grandp. There are some advantages to getting older though, as shown in this story.

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.


One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep dodo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"


Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"


Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.


The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"


Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"


Moral of this story..


Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! bull**** and brilliance only come with age and experience!


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## jdinca (Feb 8, 2007)

A beautiful story! I'll take old age and trickery over youth and exuberance any time. Well, almost any time...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 8, 2007)

jdinca said:


> It's all right. My kids are 15, 16, and 20. I could be a grandpa at any time at the tender young age of 43. Gives me nightmares...


 
You're 43!!! Damn I am old


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## Amazon (Feb 8, 2007)

jdinca said:


> It's all right. My kids are 15, 16, and 20. I could be a grandpa at any time at the tender young age of 43. Gives me nightmares...




Hey - you might like it better that way.  My Grandma had my Mom at 19 and my Mom had me at 22.  I came along early enough to remember my grandparents in their late 40's.  They are barely 70 now and have been able to see me grow up, get married, and they will probably even see their great-grandchildren.  Plus they have stayed active enough to keep up with me by being relatively younger.


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## jdinca (Feb 12, 2007)

Amazon said:


> Hey - you might like it better that way. My Grandma had my Mom at 19 and my Mom had me at 22. I came along early enough to remember my grandparents in their late 40's. They are barely 70 now and have been able to see me grow up, get married, and they will probably even see their great-grandchildren. Plus they have stayed active enough to keep up with me by being relatively younger.


 
I would prefer that my teenage children wait a few years before having children of their own. :uhyeah:


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