# Things You'll Find Out When You Have Sons



## GuruJim1 (Jul 7, 2006)

*You will find out interesting things when you have sons, like:* 

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. 
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with 
roller blades, they can ignite. 

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a 
crowded restaurant. 

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not 
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and 
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint 
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. 
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a 
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a 
long way. 

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a 
baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's 
already too late. 

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even 
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- 
year old Boy. 

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same 
sentence. 

12.) Super glue is forever. 

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you 
still can't walk on water. 

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV 
commercials show they do. 

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys 
do not like ovens. 

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response 
time. 

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make 
earthworms dizzy. 

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their 
friends, with or without kids. 

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake 
fluid


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## Shodan (Jul 7, 2006)

More to look forward to, eh?!!  We've already experienced a few of these and our son is only 4!!    Our daughter is 16 months and already more active and more into stuff than our son ever was.......so maybe she will complete more of the list than he has........ahhhhhhhh!!  Funny- thanks!


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## Makalakumu (Jul 7, 2006)

GuruJim1 said:
			
		

> 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
> fluid


 
Yup.  Yup!

artyon: 

I've got some kiddos of my own and I gotta tell you that alot of those apply to daughters as well...


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## stone_dragone (Jul 7, 2006)

As a son who has a son, I have only one thing to say about that...



...Its a lot of smoke, but not as much as I hoped.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jul 7, 2006)

Ceiling fans and boys are a recipe for disaster!

Brian R. VanCise
www.instinctiveresponsetraining.com


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## TROUBLE IS (Jul 7, 2006)

I agree!  Funny!!  You should put all this in a book. Parents need humor when chilren are little. I know I had 4 sons myself. Sometimes to laugh or cry was debatable?? Needless to say I usually laughed to keep from crying!


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## Cryozombie (Jul 7, 2006)

I read this and thought to myself, I would mix clorox and brake fluid...

Then I saw the last line.

LOL!


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## Kreth (Jul 7, 2006)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> I read this and thought to myself, I would mix clorox and brake fluid...
> 
> Then I saw the last line.
> 
> LOL!


I'm undecided... Clorox/brake fluid, or Mentos/Diet Coke? :lol:


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## JBrainard (Jul 7, 2006)

Well, my son is only 4 years old and the worst thing he's done is stuff a bunch of chips ahoy cookies into the 3.5" floppy drive of my computer. I can't wait until he gets older...

*GuruJim1*, at least your son(s) are creative. Just don't let a copy of the anarchist's cookbook into your house!


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## GuruJim1 (Jul 7, 2006)

Damn, I already have that book.... LOL That's a bad book to have??? LOL:rofl:


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## Gemini (Jul 7, 2006)

No, you can NOT buff out the scratches when they decide to surprise you and wash your car with an SOS pad...

Great post!


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## JBrainard (Jul 7, 2006)

GuruJim1 said:
			
		

> Damn, I already have that book.... LOL That's a bad book to have??? LOL:rofl:


 
With your kids, I would suggest a good ol' book burnin'


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## Swordlady (Jul 7, 2006)

This list makes me look like the perfect little angel when I was a kid.    The worst I did was draw on the walls - and Mom made me scrub off my "artwork".  Oh yeah, my brothers and I also threw around our parents' records like frisbees.


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## Mcura (Jul 7, 2006)

*GASP*  My Journey albums!


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## HKphooey (Jul 7, 2006)

Kreth said:
			
		

> I'm undecided... Clorox/brake fluid, or Mentos/Diet Coke? :lol:


 
How about all 4!!!!?  Your tree fort or mine?!


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## Kreth (Jul 7, 2006)

HKphooey said:
			
		

> How about all 4!!!!? Your tree fort or mine?!


If anyone needs us, we'll probably be in Intensive Care shortly... :lol:


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## MA-Caver (Jul 7, 2006)

Kreth said:
			
		

> I'm undecided... Clorox/brake fluid, or Mentos/Diet Coke? :lol:


Why not both...? Back-yard entertainment!


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## GuruJim1 (Jul 7, 2006)

Well, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my garage mixing the clorox with brake fluid...:lool:


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## donna (Jul 7, 2006)

Let me see....I can add to that list:

1/    Garden sprinkler +hose fed through the bedroom window and turned on flat out. Took days to dry the mattresses, carpet, clothes etc...

2/ Five bags of flour jumped on and spread all over the living room, my vacume cleaner exploded in a fireball trying to suck it all up, scorched the carpet.

3/ Two year old boys *can* fit in the automatic washing machine with the lid shut and be very quiet when they know a frantic mum is looking for them. (he tried our drier but couldnt fit!!)

4/ When  they learn how to use a can opener ,but cant read yet, they just line the cans up and keep opening cans till they find the one they want to eat.

5/ when you cant find the baby's bottles, check the floor waste hole in the bathroom.My son managed to stuff 5 bottles down the hole and replace the little lid. I only discovered it when I pulled the plug in the bath and had all the water gurgle up the floor waste and flow out he bathroom door.

6/ When you get to the checkout at the supermarket and find an empty packet of bandaids in the trolley and a very contented toddler with arms and legs covered in bandaids, especially bright colored novelty ones.

These are just the tip of the iceberg. I could definately write a book.


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## FearlessFreep (Jul 7, 2006)

_ 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake 
 fluid_

I *did* consider it...even before reading the last line


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## GuruJim1 (Jul 7, 2006)

If you didn't, your not truely a guy. When this was e-mailed to me and I came across that line my thoughts was, "How Cool!!! I've got to try this one". I swear my mother wrote these down and sent them to me. I was a little hyper as a young man...Hell, I'm still just as hyper.... Got to try Mixture NOW!!!!artyon:


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## Don Roley (Jul 8, 2006)

Here is something to look forward to if you have sons.

Note how fast they can run. Then multiply it by four and you get the correct speed they will take off at the second your back is turned in a shopping mall.

Oh, and kids figure out early on that if they get on something with wheels and grab onto the dogs leash, they can get a pretty fun ride while it lasts. 
Damn near gave me a heart attack on the spot.


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## MA-Caver (Jul 8, 2006)

Don Roley said:
			
		

> Here is something to look forward to if you have sons.
> Note how fast they can run. Then multiply it by four and you get the correct speed they will take off at the second your back is turned in a shopping mall.



*This* applies to daughters as well... as I can attest from babysitting. 

As a matter of fact quite a few of these can apply to girls too.


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## shesulsa (Jul 8, 2006)

Well, being female and having no younger siblings and none close in age to me, I was amazed to find out that my little boys could make their penies disappear!

"Oh my god! Where'd it go? Where is it?"

"PEEKABOOOOO!!!"


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 8, 2006)

As I read these I hear a strange thud followed by another strange thud

I decide to get up and look....

My daughter is banging a laundry basket on the front of a glass door China cabinet.

Apparently this stuff does not only apply to boys

Now my wife walks out and finds her sitting in the laundry basket that I just took away form her.

Gotta go..


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## Sam (Jul 9, 2006)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Well, being female and having no younger siblings and none close in age to me, I was amazed to find out that my little boys could make their penies disappear!
> 
> "Oh my god! Where'd it go? Where is it?"
> 
> "PEEKABOOOOO!!!"


 

...WHAT??


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