# Excerpts From The Cat's Daily Diary



## hardheadjarhead (Jul 8, 2005)

Excerpts From The Cat's Daily Diary   

Day 283 Of My Captivity.   

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little   
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,   
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing   
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the   
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional   
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another   
house plant.   

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving   
around their feet while they were walking almost   
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In   
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile   
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit   
on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.   

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless   
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am   
capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.   
They only cooed and condescended about what a good   
little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.   

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.   
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,   
I could hear the noise and smell the food. More   
importantly I overheard that my confinement   
was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what   
this is and how to use it to my advantage.   

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and   
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and   
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously   
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be   
an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am   
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current   
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.   
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. . . .  




Regards,



Steve


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## Eldritch Knight (Jul 8, 2005)

Yes! I love it. Kinda reminds me of that evil cat overlord from Cats & Dogs.


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## bdparsons (Jul 8, 2005)

Priceless, and unbelievably accurate!


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## arnisador (Jul 8, 2005)

LOL! Could've been written by my cat.


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## kid (Jul 8, 2005)

My cat escaped once and came home all beat up with young dead badger.  My dog stayts outside on a chain i wonder if she helped my cat exact justice on the attack?



Kid


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## Flatlander (Jul 9, 2005)

You know, someone should attempt to actually write out a few months worth of that.  That would be an entertaining read.


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