# Laugh, or despair?



## Kacey (Jan 29, 2007)

The picture didn't come out well (it was a camera phone) but the sign said "Help!  My family was killed by ninjas and I need money for karate lessons".  I can't decide if I should laugh, or scream in despair.


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## shesulsa (Jan 29, 2007)

Tell them to take the little pink pills ... one in the morning, two at night, and the ninjas will go away.

Maybe they figure if they make you laugh you might give them money. LOL


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## SFC JeffJ (Jan 29, 2007)

Kudos for originality.  Better than the "will work for food" when all they want is a handout.


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## exile (Jan 29, 2007)

JeffJ said:


> Kudos for originality.  Better than the "will work for food" when all they want is a handout.



Kacey, I agree with Jeff. Very original... and so far as your original question goes



			
				Kacey said:
			
		

> I can't decide if I should laugh, or scream in despair.



I suggest doing _both_. Or maybe, laugh in despair...


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## Tames D (Jan 29, 2007)

I think that one might get a couple bucks from me...lol.


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## morph4me (Jan 29, 2007)

QUI-GON said:


> I think that one might get a couple bucks from me...lol.


 
Me too, gotta award originality


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## bydand (Jan 29, 2007)

QUI-GON said:


> I think that one might get a couple bucks from me...lol.





morph4me said:


> Me too, gotta award originality



Third this thought.


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## Cirdan (Jan 30, 2007)

Actually it is not that original...

http://www.ozskier.com/blog/hello/1239729/640/T40501211222320-2005.03.15-17.24.31.jpg


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## Drac (Jan 30, 2007)

QUI-GON said:


> I think that one might get a couple bucks from me...lol.


 


bydand said:


> Third this thought.


 
Fourth!!!!


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## Makalakumu (Jan 30, 2007)

That seems more of a joke to me, but I can't really see the guy holding the sign.  So, I can't determine how serious it seemed.  What do you think, Kacey?  Was this sincere?


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## morph4me (Jan 30, 2007)

Cirdan said:


> Actually it is not that original...
> 
> http://www.ozskier.com/blog/hello/1239729/640/T40501211222320-2005.03.15-17.24.31.jpg


 
Damn, I want a refund .


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 30, 2007)

Kacey said:


> The picture didn't come out well (it was a camera phone) but the sign said "Help! My family was killed by ninjas and I need money for karate lessons". I can't decide if I should laugh, or scream in despair.


 
laughs diabolically and walks away


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## Ceicei (Jan 30, 2007)

If he's serious, I'd invite him to my studio and help him negotiate/barter something for his lessons.

- Ceicei


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## matt.m (Jan 30, 2007)

That is funny.  However, nothing suprises me.  Once in DC I was at the Mouth of the Patomac on the strip and saw a sign that said, "Robbed by Smurfs, need money."


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 30, 2007)

matt.m said:


> That is funny. However, nothing suprises me. Once in DC I was at the Mouth of the Patomac on the strip and saw a sign that said, "Robbed by Smurfs, need money."


 
OK Smurfs I can beleive... But Ninjas... come on


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## searcher (Jan 30, 2007)

Why didn't I think of that?   I am wasting my skills by working for a living.


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## Kacey (Jan 30, 2007)

upnorthkyosa said:


> That seems more of a joke to me, but I can't really see the guy holding the sign.  So, I can't determine how serious it seemed.  What do you think, Kacey?  Was this sincere?



He had a pretty big grin on his face for someone who was panhandling on a freeway offramp - I think he was just trying to get peoples' attention in hopes of getting more money.


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Kacey said:


> He had a pretty big grin on his face for someone who was panhandling on a freeway offramp - I think he was just trying to get peoples' attention in hopes of getting more money.



He'd better be careful, if that wasn't just a one-time thing. If it's a regular gig of his, he's setting himself up for someone with a, um, _disturbed_ sense of humor to recruit three or four friends, dress up as ninjas, and pull up to his corner in their car, pulling swords out of their robes... :uhohh:


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## searcher (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> He'd better be careful, if that wasn't just a one-time thing. If it's a regular gig of his, he's setting himself up for someone with a, um, _disturbed_ sense of humor to recruit three or four friends, dress up as ninjas, and pull up to his corner in their car, pulling swords out of their robes... :uhohh:


 

I'd buy that for a dollar.


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

searcher said:


> I'd buy that for a dollar.



Me too... in case you hadn't guessed! :wink1:


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> He'd better be careful, if that wasn't just a one-time thing. If it's a regular gig of his, he's setting himself up for someone with a, um, disturbed sense of humor to recruit three or four friends, dress up as ninjas, and pull up to his corner in their car, pulling swords out of their robes...


 


searcher said:


> I'd buy that for a dollar.


 


exile said:


> Me too... in case you hadn't guessed!


 
I just can't believe this... HOW mean... :disgust:  HOW Cruel... :angry: Count me in :uhyeah:


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> I just can't believe this... HOW mean... :disgust:  HOW Cruel... :angry: Count me in :uhyeah:



OK, XS, you're in... any ideas where we can rent some serious-looking ninja outfits for fairly cheap?? :EG: :EG: :EG:


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> OK, XS, you're in... any ideas where we can rent some serious-looking ninja outfits for fairly cheap?? :EG: :EG: :EG:


 
I know this will likely get me into trouble but I just can't stop myself

I suppose we could ask Ashida Kim.


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## Carol (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> OK, XS, you're in... any ideas where we can rent some serious-looking ninja outfits for fairly cheap?? :EG: :EG: :EG:


 

Sure!  Just go to Wal-mart and get some black pajama bottoms with a hooded top.  Insta-ninja!


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> Sure!  Just go to Wal-mart and get some black pajama bottoms with a hooded top.  Insta-ninja!



Good advice! (though we are going to need help with the face-masking bit...we can probably work that out though...)

Hey, Carol, you want _in_ on this party? Some dude who thinks he's being clever is in for a hell of a shock... There's still plenty of room in the car... waddyasay??


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## Carol (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> Good advice! (though we are going to need help with the face-masking bit...we can probably work that out though...)
> 
> Hey, Carol, you want _in_ on this party? Some dude who thinks he's being clever is in for a hell of a shock... There's still plenty of room in the car... waddyasay??


 
You betcha!   That sounds like a helluva time


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## searcher (Jan 30, 2007)

We could have fun that would be worth telling our grandchildren about or as previously stated.....Ashida Kim.


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> You betcha!   That sounds like a helluva time



Great... I _knew_ you wouldn't be able to resist! My idea is, we approach the guy in the car and the driver rolls down the window as we pull to a halt in front of the poor stunned guy, and says, in a suitably bizarre voice (I don't know what ninjas are supposed to sound like, the non-turtle variety anyway , and probably no one else does either), `You have publically accused ninjas of muderous violence, which is a disgusting falsehood, and the penalty for which is instant death by the ninja blade!' (Inspired by a bumper sticker I once saw which read, `Death to extremists!!!') Then we start pulling our aluminum pseudo-ninja swords from our robes and...

... and Carol, this is very important: should a police office notice us during this, um, merry jape,  and request information from us on just what the hell we were doing, our story is, we heard there was a costume party in the neighborhood and we were rehearsing our entry for the `best group' part of the contest...


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## Kacey (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> ... and Carol, this is very important: should a police office notice us during this, um, merry jape,  and request information from us on just what the hell we were doing, our story is, we heard there was a costume party in the neighborhood and we were rehearsing our entry for the `best group' part of the contest...



:lfao: :roflmao:


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Kacey said:


> :lfao: :roflmao:



Hey Kacey, don't do that... it'll make it too hard for us keep a straight face and resist the tempation to crack up if that happens...  

... I assume you're in on this jolly prank also!


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## Kacey (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> Hey Kacey, don't do that... it'll make it too hard for us keep a straight face and resist the tempation to crack up if that happens...
> 
> ... I assume you're in on this jolly prank also!



I'd kind of have to be, wouldn't I?  I'm the only one who knows which corner he was on!


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## Carol (Jan 30, 2007)

exile said:


> Great... I _knew_ you wouldn't be able to resist! My idea is, we approach the guy in the car and the driver rolls down the window as we pull to a halt in front of the poor stunned guy, and says, in a suitably bizarre voice (I don't know what ninjas are supposed to sound like, the non-turtle variety anyway , and probably no one else does either), `You have publically accused ninjas of muderous violence, which is a disgusting falsehood, and the penalty for which is instant death by the ninja blade!' (Inspired by a bumper sticker I once saw which read, `Death to extremists!!!') Then we start pulling our aluminum pseudo-ninja swords from our robes and...
> 
> ... and Carol, this is very important: should a police office notice us during this, um, merry jape, and request information from us on just what the hell we were doing, our story is, we heard there was a costume party in the neighborhood and we were rehearsing our entry for the `best group' part of the contest...


 

:jediduel: 


I LOVE IT!


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## exile (Jan 30, 2007)

Kacey said:


> I'd kind of have to be, wouldn't I?  I'm the only one who knows which corner he was on!



By the Powers, you're right!!! Hmmmmm.... you wanna be the driver? I mean, it would save a whole step in the process... you wouldn't have to give directions to someone else, you could just _go_ there directly... I mean, I'll be glad to do it, but I have absolutely no sense of direction... 



			
				Carol said:
			
		

> I LOVE IT!



Right then, everyone! Let's go show this guy what it _really_ means to be clever! 

Then we can drive to the Urusai and toast our adventure with the usual gang of lounge lizards there... :wink1:


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## Cirdan (Jan 31, 2007)

You should leave one of Ashida Kim`s books on the scene to be found. If you are lucky he will take the blame and get to be the target of an appropriate media witch hunt. "Secret Ninja society out of control" "Are YOUR kids safe from the death Ninjas of Ashida Kim?" "Ninja mind control gone horribly wrong"


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 31, 2007)

Cirdan said:


> You should leave one of Ashida Kim`s books on the scene to be found. If you are lucky he will take the blame and get to be the target of an appropriate media witch hunt. "Secret Ninja society out of control" "Are YOUR kids safe from the death Ninjas of Ashida Kim?" "Ninja mind control gone horribly wrong"


 

And I just HAPPEN to have the book to leave.

This is falling into place rather nicely.


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## exile (Jan 31, 2007)

Cirdan said:


> You should leave one of Ashida Kim`s books on the scene to be found. If you are lucky he will take the blame and get to be the target of an appropriate media witch hunt. "Secret Ninja society out of control" "Are YOUR kids safe from the death Ninjas of Ashida Kim?" "Ninja mind control gone horribly wrong"



Stroke of genius, Cirdan! It's a win/win situation... we're in the clear, and he gets to persuade still more gullible people that he really is a ninja with horrific powers... hell, wish  _I'd_ thought of that!




			
				Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> And I just HAPPEN to have the book to leave.
> 
> This is falling into place rather nicely.



Just what I was thinking, XS... only problem is we're going to need a van or somethingthere's you, me, Kacey, Carol, Searcher and Cirdan... 



			
				searcher said:
			
		

> I know this will likely get me into trouble but I just can't stop myself.



No need to, JonAshida Kim is our fail-safe alibi!! 
__________________
l?o m? shí tú
__________________


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 31, 2007)

exile said:


> Just what I was thinking, XS... only problem is we're going to need a van or something&#8212;there's you, me, Kacey, Carol, Searcher and Cirdan...


 
Ahh I may be able to help there too. My Uncle has an extended Chevy Suburban.

Or we could all just read the Ashida Kim book I have (IT WAS GIVEN TO ME... HONEST.... I DID NOT BUY IT) and learn the art of Invisibility. 

Appear out of nowhere, do what needs to be done and vanish before their eyes.


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## Cirdan (Jan 31, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Ahh I may be able to help there too. My Uncle has an extended Chevy Suburban.
> 
> Or we could all just read the Ashida Kim book I have (IT WAS GIVEN TO ME... HONEST.... I DID NOT BUY IT) and learn the art of Invisibility.
> 
> Appear out of nowhere, do what needs to be done and vanish before their eyes.


 
Well I`ll mix some smoke bombs in the lab just in case the invisibility trick proves a little hard to master. :wink2:


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## tradrockrat (Jan 31, 2007)

I never get to do *anything* cool!!!!...:tantrum:


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## exile (Jan 31, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Ahh I may be able to help there too. My Uncle has an extended Chevy Suburban.



That will work, no question!



Xue Sheng said:


> Or we could all just read the Ashida Kim book I have (IT WAS GIVEN TO ME... HONEST.... I DID NOT BUY IT) and learn the art of Invisibility.



Honestly, XS, I _believe_ you. AK is one of those people who seems to do better the less well-informed people are about what he actually says. 



			
				Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> Appear out of nowhere, do what needs to be done and vanish before their eyes.



Absolutely, no better way to make it clear that ninjas hate violence and will kill anyone who says different! 



			
				Cirdan said:
			
		

> Well I`ll mix some smoke bombs in the lab just in case the invisibility trick proves a little hard to master.



Probably a wise precaution. If AK senses our michievous intent from afar by astral telepathy, he may well reconfigure the universe so that invisibility is suspended on the streetcorner where the guy Kacey posted us about likes to hang out... 

Smoke bombs, on the other hand, never fail! 


__________________


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 31, 2007)

exile said:


> Absolutely, no better way to make it clear that ninjas hate violence and will kill anyone who says different!


 
:lfao: 

Absolutly this is the only response to those who would question our non-violent and peaceful display :uhyeah:


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## exile (Jan 31, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> :lfao:
> 
> Absolutly this is the only response to those who would question our non-violent and peaceful display :uhyeah:



_YES_, XS!! Just _thinking_ about those vermin who question our peaceful meditative way of life makes me want to go out and slice someone into little pieces!!!!!! :ninja: :ninja: :tantrum: :tantrum: :ninja: :ninja:


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## searcher (Jan 31, 2007)

If we are going to keep up with the Jones'/Kims' we will need to video this and have it up on youtube or the like.  Who is going to shoot the video?


And which ofyou have a car big enough to fit everyone in?   If this gets going there mightbe need for a shortbus.


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## morph4me (Jan 31, 2007)

UH, I don't really want to be the one to point this out, but if you need a bus full of people it's going to be hard to stay invisible, you may have to bring in Ashida Kim himself to show you how to do it.

BTW, I'm hurt that no one invited me,  and don't bother doing it now, I already know that I'm an afterthought, I'll just stay home and sulk.:wah:


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## Xue Sheng (Jan 31, 2007)

exile said:


> _YES_, XS!! Just _thinking_ about those vermin who question our peaceful meditative way of life makes me want to go out and slice someone into little pieces!!!!!! :ninja: :ninja: :tantrum: :tantrum: :ninja: :ninja:


 

I to am incensed by those who doubt our peaceful ways :yinyang:

I believe the only way to deal with them :disgust: is with acts of extreme violence. :angry:


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## bluemtn (Jan 31, 2007)

matt.m said:


> That is funny. However, nothing suprises me. Once in DC I was at the Mouth of the Patomac on the strip and saw a sign that said, "Robbed by Smurfs, need money."


 

Living not too far from D.C.,  I believe it!   It makes me want to calmly go up to the person, politely smack them upside their head, and calmly walk away.


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## exile (Jan 31, 2007)

morph4me said:


> UH, I don't really want to be the one to point this out, but if you need a bus full of people it's going to be hard to stay invisible, you may have to bring in Ashida Kim himself to show you how to do it.
> 
> BTW, I'm hurt that no one invited me,  and don't bother doing it now, I already know that I'm an afterthought, I'll just stay home and sulk.:wah:



Hey, Tom, no need to take it that wayit's just that you didn't actively fan the flames of deadly vengeance once it became clear that nothing but _violent disembowelment_ must be visited upon this blasphemer of the Ninja... the Dark Lords shall be summoned to drink his blood!!! ....:foam, foam: :rave: :eyes rolling crazily in head:.... 

um, sorry about thathave to catch my breath... OK, if you really want in on this peaceful delegation to discuss this young man's insensitive allegations about the humanitarian band of the Ninja, Tom, _of course_ we want you! Ummm.... you do have a sword, right? I mean, just in case it seems desirable to show the gentleman what _could_ have been done to him had we been as vile as he was suggesting... :EG:



			
				Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> I to am incensed by those who doubt our peaceful ways
> 
> I believe the only way to deal with them  is with acts of extreme violence.



YESSS! Exactly! He must be hacked into invisible shreds!!!....Hmmm, with morph4me and the Dark Lords coming along, we _will_ need Ashida Kim and a small bus to carry everyone ....


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## Cirdan (Feb 1, 2007)

Hmm.. I just read this:



> (wikipedia)*The Inverse **Ninja** Law* is a phenomenon that occurs frequently in martial arts movies. It is also sometimes called the _Anime Ninja Effect_, the _Rule of One_, or less frequently the _Inverse Ninja Effectiveness Principle_.The Inverse Ninja Law states that the effectiveness of a group of villains is inversely proportional to the number of villains in the group. While a single enemy (Ninja) is often portrayed as a significant threat, a large group of enemies are significantly less of a threat, and as such are easily defeated.


 
A bus full of us might be a bad idea. Perhaps it would be better to send just a small armed-to-the-teeth Ninja assasin band of death to complete this peaceful mission?


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## morph4me (Feb 1, 2007)

exile said:


> Hey, Tom, no need to take it that wayit's just that you didn't actively fan the flames of deadly vengeance once it became clear that nothing but _violent disembowelment_ must be visited upon this blasphemer of the Ninja... the Dark Lords shall be summoned to drink his blood!!! ....:foam, foam: :rave: :eyes rolling crazily in head:....
> 
> um, sorry about thathave to catch my breath... OK, if you really want in on this peaceful delegation to discuss this young man's insensitive allegations about the humanitarian band of the Ninja, Tom, _of course_ we want you! Ummm.... you do have a sword, right? I mean, just in case it seems desirable to show the gentleman what _could_ have been done to him had we been as vile as he was suggesting... :EG:
> 
> ...


 
I didn't realize I needed to fan the flames, I would have thought it obvious that anyone who doesn't agree with our peaceloving non violent ways deserves to be shown the error of his ways, not as you say by violent disembowelment or deadly vengence, but by traumatic, permanent, rehabilitation.

I realize that some people prefer a sword, but for me, there is nothing quite as satisfying as the sound of a Louisville slugger hitting bone. I know it's not the ninja thing to do, but we could always immobilize him with a couple of shuriken first. Can I still come?


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## exile (Feb 1, 2007)

morph4me said:


> I didn't realize I needed to fan the flames, I would have thought it obvious that anyone who doesn't agree with our peaceloving non violent ways deserves to be shown the error of his ways, not as you say by violent disembowelment or deadly vengence, but by traumatic, permanent, rehabilitation.
> 
> I realize that some people prefer a sword, but for me, there is nothing quite as satisfying as the sound of a Louisville slugger hitting bone. I know it's not the ninja thing to do, but we could always immobilize him with a couple of shuriken first. Can I still come?



Of course, and I'll brink shurikenI've got a bunch of them; we can both practice on a moving target. If you've got any of your own, bring 'em along; we can compare notes.

There definitely something to be said for baseball bats. I've been very impressed by the way Tony Soprano and others on _The Sopranos_ use them as effective tools for expediting discussions in productive ways_much_ more compelling and persuasive than, say, PowerPoint!


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 1, 2007)

exile said:


> YESSS! Exactly! He must be hacked into invisible shreds!!!....Hmmm, with morph4me and the Dark Lords coming along, we _will_ need Ashida Kim and a small bus to carry everyone ....


 
Well I can't help with the bus, but for all we know Ashida Kim may already be with us.... He has mastered the art of invisibility after all.


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## exile (Feb 1, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Well I can't help with the bus, but for all we know Ashida Kim may already be with us.... He has mastered the art of invisibility after all.



Good heavens, XS, I hadn't thought of that!! I mean, he did make your book reappear... given his long-range astral powers, that doesn't necessarily mean he's actually among us... but it probably shows he's aware of our thinking... we can only hope we've pleased him with our plan to wreak lethal... um, _rehabilitation_, as morph4me nicely put it, on the blasphemer Kacey pointed outenough that he might actually join us...


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## morph4me (Feb 1, 2007)

exile said:


> Good heavens, XS, I hadn't thought of that!! I mean, he did make your book reappear... given his long-range astral powers, that doesn't necessarily mean he's actually among us... but it probably shows he's aware of our thinking... we can only hope we've pleased him with our plan to wreak lethal... um, _rehabilitation_, as morph4me nicely put it, on the blasphemer Kacey pointed outenough that he might actually join us...


 

Please, the proper term is traumatic permanent rehiblitation. Normal rehabilitation always has the possibility of recitivism, when I  traumatically, permanently, rehabilitate someone, they stay rehabiliatated.  :uhyeah:


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## exile (Feb 1, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Please, the proper term is traumatic permanent rehiblitation. Normal rehabilitation always has the possibility of recitivism, when I  traumatically, permanently, rehabilitate someone, they stay rehabiliatated.  :uhyeah:



I'm anxious to see this interesting therapeutic approach applied to that ninja-bashing social parasite who had such horrid things to say... 

The fact is, in castle-era Japan, he'd have been much more likely to have lost his family to samurai than to ninja! Samurai had peasant-killing perogatives which were almost unlimited, I gather... ninja were just all business. But cast a seemingly disrespectful glance a samarai's way, or accidently bump into his sword scabbard, and you were blade-testing fodder on the spot, if you were low-ranking...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 1, 2007)

Instead of rehabilitation I think we would be better calling it cultural sensitivity training.


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## jdinca (Feb 1, 2007)

Those pesky ninjas...


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## searcher (Feb 1, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Well I can't help with the bus, but for all we know Ashida Kim may already be with us.... He has mastered the art of invisibility after all.


 

Even without Ashida Kim present I think we can pull it off.  All we have to do is go to the nearest bookstore and find some books on invisibility.   It worked for Kim, so it would surely work for us.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 1, 2007)

searcher said:


> All we have to do is go to the nearest bookstore and find some books on invisibility. It worked for Kim, so it would surely work for us.


 
No need I have Ashida Kim's book on invisibility (IT WAS GIVEN TO ME... HONEST IT WAS) for us to use. After we aaaa finish our aaaaa cultural sensitivity training we can leave it behind so others can get the credit


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## searcher (Feb 2, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> After we aaaa finish our aaaaa cultural sensitivity training we can leave it behind so others can get the credit


 
Should we run the risk of someone gaining the Kim knowledge.   They could wipe out small countries with said knowledge and we would be responsible.


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## Cirdan (Feb 2, 2007)

searcher said:


> Should we run the risk of someone gaining the Kim knowledge. They could wipe out small countries with said knowledge and we would be responsible.


 
Perhaps we could minimize the damage by leaving behind *The Amorous Adventures of Ashida Kim *?

This way we will reduce the problem to a sudden increase in ninjer doormen working in brothels.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 2, 2007)

searcher said:


> Should we run the risk of someone gaining the Kim knowledge. They could wipe out small countries with said knowledge and we would be responsible.


 
No we wouldn't Asida Kim would be responsible.... 

Besides it is the price one must pay if one wishes to be Culturally responsible


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