# Children in Resturants



## Drac (Jan 22, 2007)

Does anyone else get upset at the parents of loud children in resturants who do nothing to quiet them down?? Not talking about infants or toddlers but the 2-7 age range..They always as if you prefer Smoking or Non, they should also ask Children or Non..


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## Domo Kun (Jan 22, 2007)

I'm not really bothered but I also think their parents shouldn't allow them to do that...

Mine didn't...


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## Drac (Jan 22, 2007)

Domo Kun said:


> Mine didn't...


 
Nor did mine...


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jan 22, 2007)

If the kid's are really loud then yes it is just not right!  I try to keep mine in check and consistently remind them to whisper.  That is why I particularly like loud restaurants where everyone is talking so that you do not have to worry about it.  Like Macaroni Grill, etc.  Big open air restaurants are a favorite of mine. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Bottom line though you need to keep your kid's under control for
your own enjoyment as well as everyone else around you. (that is 
just common courtesy)


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## Drac (Jan 22, 2007)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> Bottom line though you need to keep your kid's under control foryour own enjoyment as well as everyone else around you. (that is just common courtesy)


 
They could learn from you...


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## Tarot (Jan 22, 2007)

Drac said:


> Does anyone else get upset at the parents of loud children in resturants who do nothing to quiet them down?? Not talking about infants or toddlers but the 2-7 age range..They always as if you prefer Smoking or Non, they should also ask Children or Non..



Yes, yes and double yes.  Also this new trend of seeing small kids in bars.  One place you would think would be adults only and yet it's not.  Very bizarre.


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## MJS (Jan 22, 2007)

Drac said:


> Does anyone else get upset at the parents of loud children in resturants who do nothing to quiet them down?? Not talking about infants or toddlers but the 2-7 age range..They always as if you prefer Smoking or Non, they should also ask Children or Non..


 
Unfortunately, some parents are blind to the actions of their children.  Dining out should be a pleasureable experience.  I've been seated behind people with kids and thru-out the entire meal, I've had to deal with constant banging against the booth seat or kids looking over.  I usually bite my tounge, but if things were getting too out of hand, I would not think twice about bringing this to the attn. of the manager.  

When I was little, my parents would not tolorate behavior like that from me.


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

IMO, people that get upset because of loud children most likely have never had children.  People who have had children are generally tempered to them.  Honestly, I don't hardly notice.  

What is more annoying are loud nextel using adults!  

One other thing.  It depends on the restaurant.  If it is a family style restaurant, no I don't get upset.  However, if it is a fine dining restaurant, I believe it is considered rude, but I still don't get upset.


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## shesulsa (Jan 22, 2007)

I expect small children to make *some* noise, however I also expect their parents to set a good example and reward good behavior, not bad.  

My kids are older now - two teens and a mature 8 year old.  They do pretty well now, but when they were younger, dessert was NOT guaranteed.  Sometimes we didn't buy dessert at all just because, other times we used it as an incentive for good behavior.  

We would also sometimes go in two vehicles so one parent could take the ill-behaved, previously warned child home where they would eat something boring and go to bed early.

Now, they are considerate yet understanding diners who will help out someone else who needs it.

It's not as much the kids, though as it is _the parents_.


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

Loud is one thing, unruly is another.  I believe unruly is considered rude no matter the restaurant.  Loud on the otherhand is not nearly as bad in the right environment.  Although, loud doesn't bother me.   I am the one who is like... What baby crying, I don't hear.... Oh that one (shrugging shoulders). :uhyeah:


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> If the kid's are really loud then yes it is just not right!  I try to keep mine in check and consistently remind them to whisper.  That is why I particularly like loud restaurants where everyone is talking so that you do not have to worry about it.  Like Macaroni Grill, etc.  Big open air restaurants are a favorite of mine.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I agree!  I do the same.


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## shesulsa (Jan 22, 2007)

I wanted to add that dessert need not be the only reward for good behavior.  Oftentimes (even though it may make them frown and sigh), a pat on the shoulder and the acknowledgement of good behavior and your pride goes A LOT farther than a dirt-and-worms sundae will.


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## MJS (Jan 22, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> IMO, people that get upset because of loud children most likely have never had children. People who have had children are generally tempered to them. Honestly, I don't hardly notice.


 
My wife and I do not have kids.  However, IMO, that still does not give the OK for people to let their kids run wild.  Its no different in a supermarket or dept. store.  I see kids running around all the time.  If a clothing rack falls on top of them, if they run out in front of the waiter/waitress and something falls, injuring the child, should the store/restaurant be responsible or should the parent?  Chances are, being that we live in a "sue happy, I won't take responsibility for my own actions" world, they'll say the server should've been more carefull.  I was in a store one day with my wife.  The was a huge cage filled with rubber balls.  2 kids were in there with their parents and decided to play with the balls.  Next thing I know, I'm hit in the back of the head with a ball.  I looked over at the kids, and they ran off.  Now, when I'm not wearing my contacts, I wear glasses.  Had this ball hit me in the face, and my glasses broke, who would be responsible?  Should I have to deal with that because parents can't keep control of their kids?



> What is more annoying are loud nextel using adults!


 
Agreed.  Thats one thing I've never understood about those things.  Whats the reason behind them?  They still need to be held, so why not just hold it to your ear like a regular phone?  I am not interested in hearing a 2 way convo.


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## terryl965 (Jan 22, 2007)

Drac said:


> Does anyone else get upset at the parents of loud children in resturants who do nothing to quiet them down?? Not talking about infants or toddlers but the 2-7 age range..They always as if you prefer Smoking or Non, they should also ask Children or Non..


 

Drac I have three 12,9,8 and believe me when we go out they know how to act or else big daddy will tear up that bottom. You must remember in most cases these parents was barely a teenager when they started to have childern and really never matured themself, at least that is what I have noticed when the chils is acting up usaully they have younger parents.


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## MJS (Jan 22, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> Loud is one thing, unruly is another. I believe unruly is considered rude no matter the restaurant. Loud on the otherhand is not nearly as bad in the right environment. Although, loud doesn't bother me. I am the one who is like... What baby crying, I don't hear.... Oh that one (shrugging shoulders). :uhyeah:


 
Point taken.   Most restaurants are loud in general, so I agree..loud is one thing, I was gearing my posts more towards the unruly ones.


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## Kreth (Jan 22, 2007)

Things like this get out of control because people on the whole are not assertive enough. I find that, "Would you mind keeping your kids under control so I can enjoy my dinner, or should I just speak with the manager?" usually works well. If they get huffy about it, so what? They're in the wrong, not me.


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

MJS said:


> However, IMO, that still does not give the OK for people to let their kids run wild.



I agree!  That is being unruly in my opinion.  No doubt I agree with you.  I was just referring to loud children in restaurants.


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

terryl965 said:


> Drac I have three 12,9,8 and believe me when we go out they know how to act or else big daddy will tear up that bottom. You must remember in most cases these parents was barely a teenager when they started to have childern and really never matured themself, at least that is what I have noticed when the chils is acting up usaully they have younger parents.



That has been my observation as well.


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## shesulsa (Jan 22, 2007)

Kreth said:


> Things like this get out of control because people on the whole are not assertive enough. I find that, "Would you mind keeping your kids under control so I can enjoy my dinner, or should I just speak with the manager?" usually works well. If they get huffy about it, so what? They're in the wrong, not me.


If the kids are particularly nasty, yeah, I'll emulate your choice above.  Usually I just tell the kids who let their nastiness spill over to the aisleway or to my table to go sit down so their mommy and daddy can enjoy their meal.  If they're young enough, they cry and go back to the table, get consoled and eat quietly.  If not, they're nasty and the parents have a clue.  I haven't yet had a parent get in my face about their own child's behavior.  I'm waiting for that one.


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## Kacey (Jan 22, 2007)

I agree with the family friendly vs. fine dining part - in a family friendly restaurant, I expect families, and I expect that children will still be learning how to behave.  In fine dining restaurants, I expect (or at least hope) that parents whose kids don't know how to behave will leave them home, or take them somewhere more appropriate... sadly, they often don't; those are generally the same parents who take young children to inappropriate movies and let them run up and down the aisles.

I also take exception to restaurants that offer to move me away from the noisy child(ren) rather than risk saying something to the parent.  As previously mentioned, noisy is annoying - but out of control running around is asking for injury to child, staff, or patron, and also (as these kids are often out of sight) vastly increased risk of child abduction.  Like Mike, I have been nailed by a ball thrown by a child whose father was on the opposite end of a large grocery store - and when I told the child to return to parent and take little brother with (they were about 3 and 6, and loose in a very large store) she left - and dad drove up to me in the parking lot and started screaming about how no one would discipline his kids but him... I told him that was his choice, but the next time I saw his kids loose, I would take them to the manager as "unattended minors" and call the police to report him for neglect... and pointed out that since he had driven up, I had his license plate numbers.  He turned bright red and drove off, still fuming; several people in the parking lot started applauding.


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## Rich Parsons (Jan 22, 2007)

Kreth said:


> Things like this get out of control because people on the whole are not assertive enough. I find that, "Would you mind keeping your kids under control so I can enjoy my dinner, or should I just speak with the manager?" usually works well. If they get huffy about it, so what? They're in the wrong, not me.


 

I usualy look at the child and smile at them. In a nice way. I get one of three reactions. One of happy smile back and usually the child will behave if I just look up form time to time and smile or wink at the child. The second reaction is the fear reaction. This comes in two forms. The first being the child where they can react and be quite or cry. Usually their crying though is quieter than the screaming a second before. The other rection is fear in the parents. Then they look at me like what am I doing? At this time, I smile at them. If they let it go, no big deal. If not then I say in my loud voice so the whole place could hear, "I was just looking and smiling at your child, as it seems you are not aware of its' existence or willing to parent the child. So please excuse me, for trying to enjoy my time out, and also helping everyone else at the same time." This usually settles the issue. If not then I just start talking real loud to myself, and or making loud noises, and or screaming myself. Usually the child gets is before the parents that I am imitating them and they stop. Sometimes the parents take offense. I just smile, and ask them if they thought I was talking to them. If so I apologize for them thinking that their behavour matched the description of my rant. The third reaction is being totally ignroed by the child. I then have told them to stop myself. Usually quiet, but if that does not work, I have no problems standing up and embarrsing the parents by saying "NO!" to their child. NOTE: I never touch anyone. I just talk, and or smile or give direction. 

I have dealt with a child kicking a seat behind me on a plane, where he would not listen to me or his parent. So, I just dropped my seat as far back as possible and then stared at the parent. The child was picked and taken to the bathroom, and when returned no kicking occurred. Usually just being polite it enough. 

So I agree say something, even if it embarasses the parents. This is how they learn.


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## Carol (Jan 22, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> IMO, people that get upset because of loud children most likely have never had children. People who have had children are generally tempered to them. Honestly, I don't hardly notice.
> 
> What is more annoying are loud nextel using adults!


 
I'm not entirely sure.  I'm a telecommunications engineer and am very well tempered to the sounds of cell phones, Nextel-style 2 ways, and the people that use them. 

Even though they don't bother me that much, I still think they absolutely don't belong in a restaurant.


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## Bigshadow (Jan 22, 2007)

Carol Kaur said:


> I'm not entirely sure.  I'm a telecommunications engineer and am very well tempered to the sounds of cell phones, Nextel-style 2 ways, and the people that use them.
> 
> Even though they don't bother me that much, I still think they absolutely don't belong in a restaurant.



Maybe I should have prefaced that with "What I find more annoying... " :uhyeah:


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## Carol (Jan 22, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> Maybe I should have prefaced that with "What I find more annoying... " :uhyeah:


 
I guess that's a difference in where my opinion stands.  In a restaurant (and other places) I usually value courtesy towards others and respect towards others as more important than what personally bothers me.


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## shesulsa (Jan 22, 2007)

I answered "no" in the poll because it's the parents that bother me.  And yes, I do mean bother. :uhyeah:


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## Cruentus (Jan 22, 2007)

Rich Parsons said:


> I usualy look at the child and smile at them. In a nice way. I get one of three reactions. One of happy smile back and usually the child will behave if I just look up form time to time and smile or wink at the child. The second reaction is the fear reaction.


 
Actually, the government is looking to use Parsons to aid in a screening process for potential seriel killers; the very few kids that don't scream in horror and crap themselves when Rich stares and smiles at them are definatily little Jeffrey Dahmars in training. Just look up the "Parson's Project" online. 

Anyway, how about parents that take their young kids to Hooters? WTF is up with that!?


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## Carol (Jan 22, 2007)

Cruentus said:


> Anyway, how about parents that take their young kids to Hooters? WTF is up with that!?


 
At least Hooters is a restaurant.  I find the situation Tarot is describing...parent(s) taking children to bars...to be more disturbing.


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## Andy Moynihan (Jan 22, 2007)

Well it's not so much that I don't *like* children as it is that for the life of me iv've never been able to finish a whole one.


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## Ceicei (Jan 22, 2007)

Andy Moynihan said:


> Well it's not so much that I don't *like* children as it is that for the life of me iv've never been able to finish a whole one.



I take it you love kids.  They're crunchy, aren't they?  A tad difficult to finish one that is squirmy, isn't it?   :wink:


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## Andy Moynihan (Jan 22, 2007)

Long as theyre properly cooked. This latest crop of kids leaves much to be desired, you have to blowtorch the meat to get all the fat off them, and their flesh tastes as though its full of unnecessary drugs and marinated in sodey pop....................I'm tellin ya they just don't make em like they used to.


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## Ceicei (Jan 22, 2007)

Andy Moynihan said:


> Long as theyre properly cooked. This latest crop of kids leaves much to be desired, you have to blowtorch the meat to get all the fat off them, and their flesh tastes as though its full of unnecessary drugs and marinated in sodey pop....................I'm tellin ya they just don't make em like they used to.



Agreed.  The natural ones from yesteryear do differ from the modern ones...  It's all in the training.


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## matt.m (Jan 22, 2007)

I don't really care if the kid is loud.  I blame the parents for letting them do whatever they want and not having the constitution to do something about it.


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## Jade Tigress (Jan 22, 2007)

Misbehaved children anywhere bother me. I understand children have their moments, but at a place like a restaurant it is the parents responsibility to teach their children proper behavior in a public setting. If the child can't behave then it's time to go home. I don't think it's too much to ask of a child to be age appropriately non-disruptive. Worse are the parents who ignore the child's rude behavior or think everyone else will find the child's rude antics *cute*. Gag me. I have 2 children. Ages 13 and 16 now. When they were  young we took them to restaurants and other places with us, and we taught them to behave. We were also complimented constantly on the well behavior of our children. We did not expect them to act like adults by any means, but courtesy and politeness can be taught to the youngest of children.


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## bydand (Jan 22, 2007)

Cruentus said:


> Actually, the government is looking to use Parsons to aid in a screening process for potential seriel killers; the very few kids that don't scream in horror and crap themselves when Rich stares and smiles at them are definatily little Jeffrey Dahmars in training. Just look up the "Parson's Project" online.
> 
> Anyway, how about parents that take their young kids to Hooters? WTF is up with that!?




You rotten bugger!  I'm sitting here trying not to laugh too loud and wake up my 2 littlest Ruffians.  :lfao:

As a parent of 4 healthy, ACTIVE boys ages 3, 5, 7 & 9 there is nothing that sets me off that rowdy, loud kids in a resturant.  Sure if it is a place like Chucky Cheeses, then it is to be expected; which is why I have been to that resturant ONCE.  My 4 know how to behave in public, they behave the exact same way I was expect to behave when I was a kid in public.  It didn't kill or warp me to have to tow the line and I feel it won't hurt them either.  I have to go along with Terrys' first post, and it sounds like we view things the same way.  My oldest is starting to beam whenever somebody comes over to our table, or up to us in a store and comments on how nicely behaved my boys are being, he is seeing the WHY now that he is older and it thrills me.  And yes, we get comments all the time about how well behaved they are; at home though... 4 boys + lots of trucks + independent personalites = Chaos usually.


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## BrandiJo (Jan 22, 2007)

i think parents should control their kids or keep them at home. My parents would not take my bro and i out till we where old enough to behave, and even then if we didnt we got the check and left.​


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## bushidomartialarts (Jan 22, 2007)

i run an afters school program.  before that i was a camp counselor.

i am immune to annoyance by children.


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## BrandiJo (Jan 22, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> i run an afters school program.  before that i was a camp counselor.
> 
> i am immune to annoyance by children.




ah true, its not so much an annoyance but being polite. I love children i think they are great but if i wanted to have to hear one while im out at dinner i would have my own (and im not planning that one any time soon)


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## Drac (Jan 23, 2007)

Bigshadow said:
			
		

> What is more annoying are loud nextel using adults!




NOTHING!!!!



			
				Bigshadow said:
			
		

> One other thing. It depends on the restaurant. If it is a family style restaurant, no I don't get upset. However, if it is a fine dining restaurant, I believe it is considered rude, but I still don't get upset.


 
You should be applauded for your patience///


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## Drac (Jan 23, 2007)

My story: Sitting in my favorite Dennys..Lunch rush was tapering off so it was half full..Sitting in a window seat are 2 females so engrossed in coversation they don't hear the 5 year old WAILING about spilled pop or dessert..The looks given to them were ignored..The manager wouldn't say anything..
So I walked over to the table laid my bill down and said in a voice that bordered on a snarl "Since you ruined my lunch you might as well pay for it"..I left...I returned later and was told that they paid my bill without any comment..


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## Lisa (Jan 23, 2007)

I gotta start reading titles more closely...I thought for a second the title was "Children in restraints" and got excited thinking we were alllowed to put unruly children in them now. 

I voted no, it is not the kids that bother me but moreso the parents of those children.


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## Drac (Jan 23, 2007)

Lisa said:


> I gotta start reading titles more closely...I thought for a second the title was "Children in restraints" and got excited thinking we were alllowed to put unruly children in them now.


 
How SWEET that would be....



			
				Lisa said:
			
		

> I voted no, it is not the kids that bother me but moreso the parents of those children.


 
I guess I should have worded my question differently..Ultiatly its the parents fault..I have taken my Grandson into resturants when he was 5 yoa and younger without any incidents...


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## terryl965 (Jan 23, 2007)

Lisa said:


> I gotta start reading titles more closely...I thought for a second the title was "Children in restraints" and got excited thinking we were alllowed to put unruly children in them now.
> 
> I voted no, it is not the kids that bother me but moreso the parents of those children.


 

In the end it is the parents fault the way there dhild acts. Lisa hit the nail on the head


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## Brian R. VanCise (Jan 23, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> What is more annoying are loud nextel using adults!


 

Nothing, absolutely nothing!


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## Tarot (Jan 23, 2007)

Andy Moynihan said:


> Well it's not so much that I don't *like* children as it is that for the life of me iv've never been able to finish a whole one.



Try with garlic and butter.


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## Drac (Jan 23, 2007)

Tarot said:


> Try with garlic and butter.


 
LOL...


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## MJS (Jan 23, 2007)

What really surprises me...well, not too much I guess...is how blind some parents can be to their own childs actions, even when the child is right next to them, but let someone bring this to their attention, in a voice loud enough that brings everyone elses attention to them as well, they suddently snap out of the 'clueless' phase they were in and correct their child.


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## Drac (Jan 23, 2007)

MJS said:


> What really surprises me...well, not too much I guess...is how blind some parents can be to their own childs actions


 
I could tell you horror stories of children actions at the weddings I use to DJ...


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## Shotochem (Jan 24, 2007)

This is exactly why I rarely go to resturants. :ultracool 

 If my evil spawn will not behave properly, they will have dinner at home.
If I go to a resturant and they get out of line I will leave and their next meal will be something they totally despise. :rules: 

I find that "Take Out" is a fine alternative to fine dining.  Kids eat in kitchen, I eat anywhere else. 

                                                                                    -Marc-


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## shesulsa (Jan 24, 2007)

Went to IHOP today.  Two moms and their toddler girls out for breakfast next to a couple and their toddler boy out as well.  Moms were finishing talking while the girls were let out of their high chairs and mildly played close to the table ... restraunt wasn't crowded in the least and they weren't too loud nor in anyone's way.  Moms kept them under a fair amount of control.  Sounds okay and it was okay by me in that it didn't disturb my meal.

My thinking, however, is that these girls will think it's okay to do this and will want to at the wrong times.  It's inconsistency and it doesn't serve them well nor benefit anyone else.

And THEN, the boy's parents let HIM down.  He (and his parents) must have assumed he was running a victory lap around the restraunt ... because that's what he did.  Everyone else in the restraunt, as though of one mind, turned and stared at the parents until they fetched him and put him back in the chair.  When he started to throw a fit, they packed up and left, so at least we didn't have to stare them down for that.


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## KempoGuy06 (Jan 24, 2007)

Yes this upsets me. It is also bad when you work at a restraunt and are asked if you can do anything about it. Ive been asked to say something to the parents of the loud child, this is never fun. Ive actually been threatened by parents when I have asked kids not to run and yell in the lobby of the restraunt I worked at. I remember when I was kid, if I got loud I was in trouble, and not that "go sit in time out" trouble, Im talking 'belt' trouble. I did it once and as God as my witness I never did it again.

B


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## Drac (Jan 24, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> And THEN, the boy's parents let HIM down. He (and his parents) must have assumed he was running a victory lap around the restraunt ...


 
Same situation occured to me while in Fla with my Mom..Except everytime this "little darling" run past Mom's chair he bumped it and it jarred her and she felt it..Finally after the 5 th time I stood up and asked him "To please stop bumping my Mom's chair"..He ran back to his table wide eyed..His Mother stood and said "Don't you dare to discipline my child"  

"Then keep a leash on him". was my answer..They left immediatly..The manager picked up our tab..


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## shesulsa (Jan 24, 2007)

The thing is, I don't think these parents realize they are setting their children up for failure, to be punished!  If parents create or advocate a situation where their children are going to get into trouble or hurt someone else or be disruptive and where other people - NOT the children's parents - are calling them on it, these children grow into narcissistic, self-important, discourteous, disrespectul, ill-intentioned, heedless asses!  And then they wonder what the hell happened and ship these snot-noses off to brat camp so they can be fixed!

I honestly think most parents are afraid to hear their children whine or cry or complain.  Or maybe they're afraid of tantrums or of saying no.  Or maybe they feel guilty when they say 'no.'

Hmph.

Note to people who've not yet had children:  it is a thankless, heartbreaking job.  By the time they've figured out what's what and CAN say thank you like they ought to, they don't live with you anymore.  Sometimes your job is to make them cry, let them get angry, disappoint them, etcetera.  If they don't learn from someone they love, who do you think they _will_ learn it from?  

No kid ever died solely by the act of shedding tears.


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