# You Know You've Been in the Martial Arts Too Long When you.........................



## Bob Hubbard

You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...

* you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think
I can kick in them."

* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.

* you go to the shoe store to try on shoes.

* Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting,
sweeps, stances and kicks.

* You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well

* and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other
patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)

* Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that
structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.

* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger
and _damage_ it.

* "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

* "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my
arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."

*  when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly

* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;

* don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches

* open and close doors with spinning kicks

* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place

* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a
flurry of mock strikes and kicks

* haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a
blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots

* leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home

* deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap
to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the
parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings

* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,
based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough
to see it

* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your
pockets

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by
your bed when you sleep

* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes

* have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the
fight by saying something *so* cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and
Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes

* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when,
directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately
ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

* Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room? Uh, not anymore,
thankfully.

* I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with
fair regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying 'hai!' instead of
'yes!'.

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your
art

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

* Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or
tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about
breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of
hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.


----------



## Rob_Broad

Another joke from a great site.


                - say to the salesmen in the store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in 
                  them." 
                - can't walk by anyone in your school without casually exchanging a flurry of 
                   mock strikes and kicks. 
                - find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil 
                   during dull meetings. 
                - have the urge to bow everytime you leave or enter a room. 
                - are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them. 
                - find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines 
                - bow going into and out of the bathroom 
                - open and close doors with spinning kicks 
                - buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes 
                - when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow. 
                - you go to the shoe store to try on shoes. Instead of walking or jogging 
                  around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks. 
                - You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and 
                   whether it protects the toes well 
                - Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that 
                  structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard. 
                - When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger 
                   and _damage_ it. 
                - "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing 
                    my arms and legs?   Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....." 
                - when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, 
                  notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block 
                  into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly. 
                - when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on; (this includes your 
                  feet folks) 
                - don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches 
                - find yourself  idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives 
                   at the fast food place 
                - haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a 
                  blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots 
                - leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu", 
                  "Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home 
                - deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to 
                   your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking 
                   lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at  class 
                - try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based 
                   on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to 
                   see it 
                - notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets 
                - tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your 
                   bed when you sleep 
                - have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight 
                   by saying someting so cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and Clint 
                   Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes 
                - have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when, 
                  directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately 
                  ask "Are you a Black Belt??" 
                - I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with fair 
                   regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying 'hai!' instead of 'yes!'. 
                - When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood. 
                - Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, 
                  and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. 
                  Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration, 
                  then maybe measure off a few times. 
                - and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons 
                   are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)


----------



## Nate_Hoopes

LOL When i went to buy my boots 2 weeks ago i bought them for the steel toe and yes instead of walking in them i practiced a couple snap kicks and side kicks in them to make sure they had good balance and werent over weighted.


----------



## girlychuks

Our little family has been in the martial arts for less than a year, but I am beginning to wonder how much more it will invade even the most benign aspect of our lives....
True facts...
1) My 17 month old knows how to clasp hands and bow, throw a front ball kick, and do a push up.  
2) My daughter bows at the door of her schoolbus. SHe says it because it is taking her to a place of learning. She also bows at the kitchen table to show respect to her father and I before she eats.
3) When I come home and visit for holidays,  me, my bro, sis, and kid spend the vast majority of our time discussing weapons and play sparring. It ain't christmas until someone bruises!


----------



## fist of fury

LOL! Those are great.

find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines 

I've done that on elevators and bathroom stalls at work 

when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly. 

Haven't been caught yet


----------



## TLH3rdDan

LMAO thats me i do just about everything on that list lmao i even sleep with a katana on the floor next to my bed lmao ive done the whole measureing off thing for breaking stools and tables and chairs and wondering about what the walls are made of lol


----------



## Chris from CT

Yeah, I qualify.  But If I bowed before going into the bathroom I may not have to go in after the bow.     
:flushed:   

Take care


----------



## tshadowchaser

After you've been in a while try to go through Any door or enter any building with out bowing. Really want a test see if you can go to a school you are not know at and see if you bow autoaticly when you get to the door or when someone speaks to you.
Shadow


----------



## Nate_Hoopes

I bow as i walk past people at work to say hi instead of waving now, I just realized this a couple days ago when someone mentioned it. Its strange, It seems like yesterday i started with my first lesson, now im just a couple months away from my first anniversary in the arts.


----------



## Bob Hubbard

Those hit too close to home...

:rofl:


----------



## Chris from CT

> _Originally posted by Nate_Hoopes _
> 
> *I bow as i walk past people at work to say hi instead of waving now, I just realized this a couple days ago when someone mentioned it. Its strange, It seems like yesterday i started with my first lesson, now im just a couple months away from my first anniversary in the arts. *



Happy Anniversary, Nate!!!!  :cheers:

I actually had a woman at work ask me once, "what's with the bowing stuff?"  To make it worse, I had to think about what she was talking about.    

Take care


----------



## D.Cobb

I have actually seen that list before, but I originally thought it was written about me, hehe.

It is scary how many of us are so similar in habits. Scary but nice.

--Dave

p.s. are you still off the smokes, Nate?

:asian:


----------



## tunetigress

OMG I am so glad to know I am not alone in continually quelling the compulsive urge to bow!


----------



## Ty K. Doe

75% of those hit close to home.  Especially daydreaming about how I would break the table.


----------



## Ty K. Doe

How about praciticing your back fist every time one of your roommates walks by.  They start to getting pretty ticked, even though you never actually hit 'em.


----------



## tunetigress

Ty, I get that same ticked reaction from my hubby, for some unknown reason!  Apparently it looks really scary, but honestly I thought he would have got used to it by now! LOL    :rofl:


----------



## Cthulhu

I get annoyed when people find out I study martial arts and try to fool around with me...feeble little fake jabs and kicks at me and whatnot.  

Not too long ago, a guy at work kept doing that...all damn day.  I got a wee bit miffed, so I launched the fasted backfist I could and pulled it an inch from his nose.  He almost peed himself.

He doesn't try to fool around with me much anymore.

Am I evil?  Yes I am! 

Cthulhu


----------



## TLH3rdDan

lol i can sympathize with ya cthulhu had to do that on two different occasions while i was in high school... one was a close friend who kept messing with me so i used a simple wrist lock put him on his knees and said dont do it again needless to say he never messed with me again... the second was a guy that i had classes with he found out and wanted to see what i would do if he messed with me so one day i was going out to my car he stepped in front of me and pushed me back and happed to have a cigarete in his mouth so i did a hook kick and shot the cigarete across the parking lot and left him standing there mouth wide open along with his eyes and a noticable smell of urine that was my senior year i didnt have any problems out of anyone after that got around lol


----------



## fist of fury

So far I've been lucky no one at work messes with me they jus assume I'm dangerous


----------



## tunetigress

oh Fist of Fury, with a handle like that, you probably are!  LMAO! :rofl:


----------



## D.Cobb

I once had this guy, when he found out that I do karate, kept hassling me with the line,"show me a move, show me a move". I kept putting him off until one day he decided to annoy the hell out of me by saying almost like the simpsons,"are we there yet? are we there yet?"

So I made a fist, with the end of my thumb poking forward just a little bit. I hit him with the end of my thumb, square on the Liver plexus point on the floating ribs (not real hard) and he folded like a card. I looked down into his eyes and said,"There, hows that for a move?"

I think he was satisfied, he has never asked me again.:rofl: 

--Dave


----------



## fist of fury

> _Originally posted by tunetigress _
> 
> *oh Fist of Fury, with a handle like that, you probably are!  LMAO! :rofl: *



:rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## tonbo

Yeah, too many of those "hit" too close to home, both the stories and the original list.....

I used to work with a guy that knew I was in MA.  He would talk tough about "surprising" me and how he could mess me up, even though he had no training.  One day, he tried to surprise me.....and did.......he "attacked" with a rolled up magazine, used like a knife thrust.  We were both surprised when I disarmed him and "filleted" him with it.  I honestly don't know which one of us was more surprised, but I got the bigger laugh out of it......

....and more than once, I *have* been caught at work, running through techniques in my cubicle while programs I was working on were running.  "So, tonbo.....what was all that hand-waving going on?"  "Ahh....well, I....uh...."

At another company I worked for (as technical support), there was an iron pole in my cubicle (part of the support for the roof).  While on "hold" sometimes, I would practice strikes on the pole, working on my speed and flow......that is, until the CEO of the company (who just happened to be in the room above me!!) called my boss and asked who was banging on the supports...

Ah, yes....the memories..

Peace--


----------



## karatekid1975

Last year, at one of my jobs, a fellow worker found out I did martial arts (I think I was a green belt at the time). He kept saying "That MA stuff doesn't work ..... blah blah blah." So one day we were bored and flinging rubber bands across the room. He got pissed because I kept nailing him with rubber bands. He charged me with the tape gun pretending he was going to "thrust" it at me. I threw the fastest side kick I've ever done. I just tapped him in the ribs, and left my foot print on his shirt. I was suprised and so was he. I think he stood and stared at me for about 5 minutes in aw .... hehehehehe


----------



## Seig

They hit very close to home, my wife is a Brown Belt under me and it seems that every time I'm standing in the kitchen she wants to spar......


----------



## karatekid1975

Hiya Seig.

hehehehehe. Me and my man get into nightly sparring matches in the kitchen. He started martial arts in January (after I got him addicted before that), and we are both yellow belts in TKD. He tries to beat me, but he can't hehehehehe


----------



## Seig

Hi!
Well, fortunately for us, I WAY outrank her, a fact she sometimes forgets.  What usually happens is that when I finally get annoyed, I do something she hasn't learned a counter for yet.  Her next thing is to ask me why I haven't taught it to her before and then demands to be taught it RIGHT NOW.  That's when I say something profund, like I taught you all YOU know, not....or something else that could wind me up on the couch...


----------



## D.Cobb

It could be worse guys...
My missus likes to play fights, but she has no idea. She has never trained in any martial arts, and will only watch martial arts if they are a part of an action movie. Of course, I don't want hurt her, so I let her get a few in. Then she says silly things like, "Geez those guys at karate must be weak. If you can train with them and not get hurt, but I can hurt you.." She just doesn't realize that it's easier to handle if you are allowed to hit back. So the other night, I had learned some new pressure point techniques, and after applying some of the 'rub' points, give her a tiny little jolt on the jaw line. Well it didn't knock her out but it made her eyes roll, you should have seen the look on her face. The best part was that she couldn't complain of being hurt, or me being too rough, cause I wasn't. She just wasn't sure what had happened to her, and I got to have a good laugh.

 Dave  :rofl:


----------



## tunetigress

My hubby won't play fight with me, and he even hates when anyone does it near him now.  I see him cringe when we are around any of our Kenpo friends, cuz he knows what's coming!  His trouble began when I first started training and he thought it was fun to tease me about it.  I'll grant you that I didn't seem like the 'Karate type' whatever that is supposed to be, but I was having loads of fun learning it and perhaps he was jealous.  Really, the only time contact was ever made with him occurred not long after I started and was still learning Yellow Belt Tech's.  I didn't even have a Gi yet, but was already fully addicted.   My daughter and I arrived home all excited from our lesson that day after learning a tech called 'Breaking the Sword.'   Hubby went into his usual teasing mode, laughing at me, and asking if we learned any deadly moves yet.  "Well" I replied, "we DID learn how to break a person's arm today from a handshake position."  After the required 'yeah, yeah, you couldn't even break a nail'  load of crap, he did a really dumb thing.  He grabbed my hand.  He regretted it.  I was surprised (yet pleased)  to discover how effective Breaking the Sword can be.  No actually, I did NOT break his arm ( tho I betcha I could now! )  but  I hurt him pretty badly, and succeeded in scaring the daylights right out of him.  And since that day, he has never again teased me or belittled me about my training or my daughter's.  If I want a new piece of equipment or pair of Otomix, it's 'whatever you need sweetie' , though now I'm starting to get 'I thought you already had one .'  He is happy to carry our bags, and hold water bottles and Bos at tournaments.  Just as long as we don't hurt him! LOLOLOLOL :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## karatekid1975

LOL. That's too funny. Eventhough my man and me are both yellow belts in TKD, I studied before. Everytime he'd learn something in class, I already knew a counter for it, or suprise him with something I learned in TSD. He would get frustrated and mumble under his breath hehehehe. But he'd keep trying to get me till he was too pooped to do anything lol. Then I just give him a good swif round kick in the butt (yes, in the butt) hehehehehe.


----------



## Aikikitty

:rofl:  Those are so funny!  I have to admit that I've accidentally done several of those things.  Particularly the bowing and the practicing stances in line or while waiting for someone to come pick me up.  :lol: 

    How do some of you guys get those awesome Dragonball Z and other Anime Avatars on your profile?  Download them from the computer?  I've tried to save my Avatar from another website forum and use it on this one but for some reason, it didn't work! 

    Robyn :wavey:


----------



## tunetigress

Hee Hee Hee...

Robyn I quietly lifted mine from AOL! Shhhh.....


----------



## Bob Hubbard

Check the support forum for Avatar info.  If ya ned help getting one up, drop me an email with your username and include the avatar and I'll see what I can do.

:asian:


----------



## Aikikitty

Thanks so much guys!   

 Robyn


----------



## Tachi

back to the thought you all were on about sparring with your spouse...my husband and I are both black rank...he's in Kenpo and I'm in Tai Chi.  It's natural for us to greet each other at the door with "will you punch in for me?" instead of a hug.  

Any of you see the old "Pink Panther" movies with Kato where he stalks Clouseau as he comes in the house?  

The best is when we are with friends of family and get into a 'friendly' mini-match.  Everyone has become used to it, but they still tell him to not hurt me...when usually I can nail him with a good dim mak move.


Cheers!


Tachi


----------



## Rich Parsons

All those and many more I have done and seen.

How about using weapons on the beach to train
and doing forms and wondering why the rengers
came over to talk to us in the first place.
The scary thing was that by the end of the summer
all the regulars knew us 'crazies' over there
in the far corner and left us alone and did not
complain. 

It is all good training.

As for the sparring with the spouse, this is good,
just remember to never let it get bad between you
two, then the 'history' of 'abuse' could be
an issue. Enjoy it, for if you can train with
each other than most likely the trust is there 
and will remain there.

I enjoyed this thread. Very nice.

Rich
:rofl:


----------



## tonbo

"As for the sparring with the spouse, this is good, 
just remember to never let it get bad between you 
two, then the 'history' of 'abuse' could be 
an issue. Enjoy it, for if you can train with 
each other than most likely the trust is there 
and will remain there. "


LOL.....

I *am* the spouse.  And things are good.  Haven't been bad, and I doubt it will get there.  Most of our sparring is VERY light, and more theoretical than anything.  Working on *techniques*, however, is a different story.  Her working those pressure points can get *really* annoying.......and painful.....
 

But seriously....it is a great setup, and a wonderful situation all around.  Makes training that much better.

Thanks for your reply, Rich.....:asian: 

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

my ex boyfriend never saw me do any martial arts, never came to class, never went to my tournaments (not because he didn't want to, just schedule conflicts), and then would accuse me of being a wuss because he could pin me in a tickle fight. LOL.  He didn't realize that I knew counters to the hold, I just CHOSE not to use them, because they were things like eye pokes, throat jabs, and groin shots.  People that don't take martial arts don't realize that it isn't something that is used for play.  Kenpo is a very get-in-get-dirty-you-walk-away-he-doesn't type of martial art, and my ex didn't understand that the only way I could get out of the hold was to cause him serious damage! LOL.


----------



## Kirk

> _Originally posted by nightingale8472 _
> 
> *my ex boyfriend never saw me do any martial arts, never came to class, never went to my tournaments (not because he didn't want to, just schedule conflicts), and then would accuse me of being a wuss because he could pin me in a tickle fight. LOL.  He didn't realize that I knew counters to the hold, I just CHOSE not to use them, because they were things like eye pokes, throat jabs, and groin shots.  People that don't take martial arts don't realize that it isn't something that is used for play.  Kenpo is a very get-in-get-dirty-you-walk-away-he-doesn't type of martial art, and my ex didn't understand that the only way I could get out of the hold was to cause him serious damage! LOL. *



Now THAT is a funny story!


----------



## tonbo

Nightingale, I know *just* what you mean.....

Sometimes, when my wife and I are wrestling around (just playing!!), she will "place" her knee or elbow, fingers, or hand, shall we say, *very strategically* and just smile.....no, it is not *always*....ah....*there*.....but, she is good with pressure points.  When she wants me to know that she *could* do something, she lets me know with just enough pressure.

That always adds fun to it, since I have to laugh back, knowing that I would try to counter that, and so on, and so on......

Maybe with next/current boyfriend, you could "remind" him of what you could do in a tickle fight.....

*makes a phoenix fist and smiles*.  In just the right places.....you don't have to hit.....just apply a little pressure.... 

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

the current boyfriend is a 4th degree black.


----------



## tonbo

So he should know better, right?  And if not......well.....you just get him when he ain't lookin'......

I'm married, and I can threaten my wife all I want.  She always says the same thing...."You gotta sleep sometime, sweetie."

 

Good thing I am never serious......I can't sleep with one eye open, and I get dizzy when I am always turning around to make sure no one's behind me.....

All in fun--

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

LOL!:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## tonbo

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Tachi (see earlier posts above) is my RL wife.

She is soooooo on base when she mentions the "Pink Panther" setups....almost every time she comes home from class, one of the first things she says to me is, "I need to borrow you..".

Roughly translated, that means: "Get up off the couch and throw a right punch at me....I have an application I need to work through". 

*sigh*  Okay, hon.  Will do.  *Thud*  Can I get up now?   

I can't return the favor, though.  She's always asleep when I come home from *my* class.  (of course, my class is late on Tuesday nights).

But the weekends, now.....that's a different story..... 

Peace--


----------



## Tachi

Yeah, tonbo can talk the talk... 

So far it has worked out nicely.  It seems when you reach certain levels in your training, it's hard to find partners to work with, i.e. fewer fellow students working on the same material...

It has been a real benefit to not only have someone to try techniques on that has the same experience, it's also a treat to work with someone from a different style.  I would say it has improved my forms and techniques to work with input from my husband (thx, sweetie )


 


Tachi


----------



## Seig

Just amke sure you do it inside or the neighbors may call the police....In our house we call it Domesticly Disturbed.


----------



## karatekid1975

LOL I like that. Can I steal that? ..... er.... borrow


----------



## tonbo

Heh....Domestically Disturbed.....I like that.... 

My wife and I spar throughout the house, simply because we will throw moves at each other in short bursts, and totally at random.  Yeah, we *have* space upstairs that is open and suited just for that purpose, but that would require some sort of *formality*......

And the neighbors wouldn't call the police on us.  They're all too busy just shaking their heads and trying to figure out if we are nuts.  They know we are not *violent*, but they don't know if we are.....uh....sane..... 

Our families are a different matter.  They *know* we don't have all the dots on our dice.  But, nice thing is, they love us anyway.

 

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

hehe...
my neighbors think I'm totally nutso...

I got permission from the management of my apartment complex to practice with blunt (blunt kamas are okay, but nothing that looks like a sword) weapons in the aerobics area of the apartment gym.  I walk over there with a bag full of weapons and spend an hour or two... the people on the exercise bikes think I'm nuts, but heck, its private property, and management says its ok...  Its either that or practice indoors...and my cat has not learned yet that chasing the nunchuks is not a smart move.


----------



## Seig

> _Originally posted by karatekid1975 _
> 
> *LOL I like that. Can I steal that? ..... er.... borrow  *


Feel Free


----------



## Seig

> _Originally posted by nightingale8472 _
> 
> *hehe...
> my neighbors think I'm totally nutso...
> 
> I got permission from the management of my apartment complex to practice with blunt (blunt kamas are okay, but nothing that looks like a sword) weapons in the aerobics area of the apartment gym.  I walk over there with a bag full of weapons and spend an hour or two... the people on the exercise bikes think I'm nuts, but heck, its private property, and management says its ok...  Its either that or practice indoors...and my cat has not learned yet that chasing the nunchuks is not a smart move. *


Let him/her catch them once, He/She'll learn.  Like my dad used to say, let him pull the TV down on his head once or twice, he won't do it again.


----------



## Nightingale

hehe...true...but weapons in general aren't a very good idea in a little one bedroom apartment with lamps, televisions, trophies, and a computer...


not completely sure about the cat learning... Indiana is a cat of very little brain.  my kitten has fallen in the bathtub at least five times, the fish tank twice, off the edge of the balcony (with a strong wind) twice, gotten his face stuck in a water glass three times, and accidentally pitched the other cat out of a second story window once... (he was fine, btw, Anakin (other cat) was sleeping on top of the recliner by open window. I had pulled screen out to clean it.  Indy barrelled into the backrest of the recliner after a toy that was lying on the seat, and the chair opened, dumping Anakin out the window and Indy halfway out.  i hauled indy back in, then went down and retrieved Anakin.  Both were fine, but Anakin gave Indy a pretty good smack when he got back upstairs...silly beasties.).


----------



## tonbo

> weapons in general aren't a very good idea in a little one bedroom apartment with lamps, televisions, trophies, and a computer...



NO?  I would call it....."environmental awareness".... 

Yeah, you don't get the full range of motion, but......who knows, maybe someday you will *have* to fight in a one bedroom apartment using kamas!!  Hey, it could happen......

J/K... 

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

it can be called environmental awareness when its somebody else's lamp.


----------



## tonbo

.....you could call it...."redecorating"..... 

Okay, okay....my bad.  Yeah, practicing in your apartment is probably not a good idea.  Might make the neighbors think you are more....uh...."challenged".....than they already do.

"Geeez, Mabel.....you hear that girl crashing around again?"  "Yes, George.  Sounds like she broke the lamps and a few vases this time.  She should invest in cheap dishes, instead."

 

Reminds me of one of my early apartments, when I was in college.  My roommate and I were both taking a fencing class, and we would fence in the parking lot in front of the apartment.  We would also jokingly banter back and forth while fencing, in the style of Cyrano de Bergerac.  Talk about getting some looks from people.

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet in college...dunno why they cast a girl as Mercutio, but hey, floppy hat, ponytail, loose fencing shirt with very tight sports bra on underneath, I guess I could pass for a rather feminine looking guy... 

we were always practicing with our swords in the middle of the quad; the campus police didn't know what to make of it, very conflicting issue... 1 it was a weapon and weapons are no-nos. and 2, it was for a university event...  they were very confused, so they just left us alone.  We'd practice our lines at the same time...  

.  
MERCUTIO:  Tybalt, you rat-catcher!  
TYBALT  What wouldst thou have with me?  
MERCUTIO  Good king of cats, nothing but one of your nine 
lives!

swordfight!

ROMEO Gentlemen, for shame, forbear this outrage! 
 [TYBALT stabs MERCUTIO, and turns tail and runs like the coward he is]
MERCUTIO  I am hurt. 
A plague on both your houses! 

insert dramatic death scene reinacted with catsup in the middle of the quad.


:jediduel:


----------



## Seig

Seek brave Mercuito on the morrow and you shall find me a grave man.


----------



## tunetigress

Oh man, you guys are even killing me!  :rofl: :rofl:


----------



## Nightingale

glad we could amuse, Tune.


...what's in a name... that which we call a martial artist, were he not a martial artist called, would still smell quite foul after a long evening in the dojo.

-Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene 2, with apologies to the bard.

:asian:


----------



## Seig

soft, through yon lamp, nunchucku breaks......


----------



## Nightingale

Shakespeare is rolling in his grave! LOL.



Life...is but a poor player that struts and frets his hour across the stage...it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, and signifying nothing.   -Macbeth act V, Scene 5


This is what I tell myself when my boss is hollering at me (and he normally should be hollering at someone else, because usually I had absolutely nothing to do with whatever ticked him off)....thinking about this quote makes me smile....but its hard to keep a straight face, and that sometimes pisses him off more.


----------



## Judo_Kid

lol, i know i entered this school, its JKD School, they let us do something silly and Stupidity. That Teacher might have a problem or Amnesia on his head. that guy actually Acts sooo silly! I will never apply or go there again!


----------



## Seig

> _Originally posted by nightingale8472 _
> 
> *Shakespeare is rolling in his grave! LOL.
> 
> 
> 
> Life...is but a poor player that struts and frets his hour across the stage...it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, and signifying nothing.   -Macbeth act V, Scene 5
> 
> 
> This is what I tell myself when my boss is hollering at me (and he normally should be hollering at someone else, because usually I had absolutely nothing to do with whatever ticked him off)....thinking about this quote makes me smile....but its hard to keep a straight face, and that sometimes pisses him off more. *


Damn, you win this round....Time to ig out that complete worls of Shakepeare set.......naw, it's more fun to make a mockery......Is this a shoto I see before me?


----------



## tonbo

.....that is the question.....whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the backfists and roundhouses of outrageous fortune.....

Nah, maybe not......

 

Peace--


----------



## tunetigress

Oh c'mon Tonbo, let 'er fly!  You were doing just fine!


----------



## tonbo

....tell ya what.....I have a meeting I need to go to in just a couple of minutes, but then I will continue.  Fair enough??  Hehe....sheeesh....how to get ye olde englishe to fit into a sparring session.....gonna take a second or two to compose, no?

That Hamlet, man.....he was one guy who could throw a nasty backfist, I'm sure....hehe....

Peace--


----------



## tonbo

Just for tunetigress, I will attempt this one.....my apologies in advance..... 

HAMFIST'S SOLILOQUY   

"To beat, or not to beat: that is the question. 
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the backfists
and roundhouses of outrageous fortune, or to raise arms
against a sea of opponents, and by opposing block them?
To spar, to beat: no more; and by a beating to say we end
the heart-ache and the thousand natural checks the flesh 
is heir to, 'tis an end of doubt devoutly to be wish'd.
To spar, to beat; to spar, perchance to win; aye, there's the rub;
for in that sparring session what dreams may come true when 
we have shuffled off this white belt must give us pause:
there's the respect that makes a virtue of such long study 
in the arts; for who would bear the techniques and forms of 
belt tests, the instructor's questionings, the proud mom's 
incessant nagging, the pangs of defeat, the certification's delay,
the insolence of lower ranks and the spurns that patient merit
of the unworthy takes, when he himself might his quietus make
with bare fists?  Who would pushups bear, to grunt and sweat
under a tedious workout, the undiscovered belt test under whose scrutiny no tester passes, puzzles the mind with martial
question, and makes us rather bear those techniques we have
than to fly to others we know not of?  Thus, sparring with masters
does make white belts of us all; and thus the native hue of 
resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, and 
enterprises of great bob and weave with simple parries the 
masters turn away, and we lose our point of origin.  
Spar you now!  The fair muse of combat!  Nymph, in thy heart
be all my failed blocks remembered.....

Hamfist's Soliloquy, by Wm. Shake-n-spar

All apologies given to the original author, and to all those that read......

 

Peace--


----------



## Tachi

That was sick and wrong  


Tachi


----------



## Rich Parsons

I pictured Mel Gibson dancing around with a
sword while giving stating the above prose.

Just my Sick and Wrong  brain at work.

Rich


----------



## tonbo

Heh....Mel Gibson, sure.  Strutting around, sure.  But sword? No.

How about sparring gear?

Have him contemplating a sparring glove, instead of a dagger.....now *that* could be sick and wrong.....

Sparring in tights?  *shudder*.....

 

Peace--


----------



## Nightingale

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!:rofl: :rofl:


----------



## tunetigress

Tonbo, oh Tonbo, wherefore art thou Tonbo?  Sorry, but I'm a Musician, that's the best I can do unless I've got a tune to sing it to, LOL!


Thank-you for finishing it, Tonbo, that was utterly spectacular!  What a way with words!!   Your Literary Brilliance should go down in MartialTalk history as our 'Wordsmith in Residence.'  The Bard would be proud!   

My day's Amusement Quotient has been highly enhanced by your efforts.  I appreciate you taking your time to keep me entertained.  Apparently you are aware that I am easily amused by anything remotely funny written by those possessing more than a tenth grade level of literacy.  

And OMG, your spelling Tonbo was impeccable!  Not once did I have to repress the urge to scribble on the puter screen with my trusty red pen  (the traditional weapon  used by people of my ilk to defend against ongoing ignorance)  and show you the error of your ways.

You've got an A+ in my book Tonbo!    :asian:


----------



## tonbo

Thank you....I am humbled.

I don't know for sure that have done the Bard proud....I think I more or less have him spinning so fast in his grave he could be a propeller.....buuuuuut, ya know.........he *had* to know he'd be parodied at some point, right?



> Apparently you are aware that I am easily amused by anything remotely funny written by those possessing more than a tenth grade level of literacy.



Hehe....I *didn't* know that, but I'm glad I amused you.  Me, I'm easily amused, period.  Just ask my wife.... .....I often feel like I have a sign above me that says, "Fascinated by small, shiny objects".....

Seriously, though, I was glad you threw out the challenge.  I used to have an English teacher that did things like that, and it was always fun.  As it is, my wife and I banter back and forth with puns and such.....the repartee' is always going on at our house....

See, many, many years ago when I was in high school, I was dating the woman who is now my wife.  We had many of the same teachers, and both went through honors English.  We made many a literary reference back then, and just never got it out of our systems......thankfully, now I am married to this wonderful woman, and her smarts force me to keep an edge on my "larnin' ".

Long reply, but you get the picture.  Thank YOU, Tunetigress, for the challenge.

:asian:  :asian: 

Peace--


----------



## tunetigress

Well Tonbo, you are quite welcome.  Anytime the spirit moves you, I will be here to enjoy your talents!

Anyone else out there with some 'larnin' under their belt who also possesses a sense of humor that  wants to try to provide this pathetically bored ole Tune with a giggle or two, please feel free to 'let 'er fly!'


----------



## SolidTiger

You know when my hands are full I always use my feet my elbow or my knee to push an button, open a door, and when I 
see a good fight I start kicking and punching. People look at me 
like I'm crazy but I just look back at them like nothing happen. ha 
ha ha ha your very funny....


----------

