# Confidence Dropping??



## Love to Learn (Nov 18, 2008)

Hi all,

I have been training in kenpo for almost a year and a half and I am a purple belt. I am 17 years old and as you will see in another of my posts, i suffer with health anxiety - my doctor thinks it is something i will grow out of.

The problem is recently I have become frightened to take a punch from fellow students and my instructor. I suffered from anxiety when i started kenpo, but nowhere near as badly as i am now. This is bringing my confidence down and i am developing a negative attitude towards my training, feeling that i cannot do things when i used to tell myself i can do anything. i know i can do anything i set my mind to but when i am training I feel I cant. i think i have developed a fear of pain, and my question is is there a way of getting out of this negative attitude and getting over the fear of pain? I know I have nothing to be frightened of but cant get out of the fear.

Any advice on re building my confidence and ridding myself of my fear would be really appreciated 

Thanks for reading


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## terryl965 (Nov 18, 2008)

All I can really say is remember your instructor is not there to hurt you but rather help you. Try to focus on soft and control fighting with someone you trust and build from there.


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## JadecloudAlchemist (Nov 18, 2008)

> The problem is recently I have become frightened to take a punch from fellow students and my instructor. I suffered from anxiety when i started kenpo, but nowhere near as badly as i am now.


 
It would help if you worked on mediation and learn relaxation coping techniques. 


It is normal to be afraid of getting hurt. You have to tell your teacher your concerns. You might have to be desensitize or re trained in response to a punch. Meaning maybe the act of being punched really soft and the speed very slow to help get use to it. A doctor should be the one to suggest methods of coping with this.




> This is bringing my confidence down and i am developing a negative attitude towards my training, feeling that i cannot do things when i used to tell myself i can do anything. i know i can do anything i set my mind to but when i am training I feel I cant


 
It is a normal reaction to your anxiety the feeling of self doubt because of your fear. 



> i think i have developed a fear of pain, and my question is is there a way of getting out of this negative attitude and getting over the fear of pain? I know I have nothing to be frightened of but cant get out of the fear.


  I have a high pain tolerance and the way that I deal with it are
1.It will pass 2.Pain is in the mind 3.focusing on a part another part of the body. 4.Mediation. Learning to accept things and examine yourself and your thoughts and examing your fear.

Krishnamurti wrote a book called On Fear

I highly recommend it and to discuss with your doctor.


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## still learning (Nov 18, 2008)

Hello,  They say to face fear is to face it!

Talk to your Instructor....tell them what you are facing with.

I sure the answer will be?  ...is to face the fear by ...actully sparring and learning to accept hits...AND GETTING HIT BY PUNCHES AN KICKS.

You may have been hurt once or a few times...and your mind...is making you fear getting hit AGAIN.

Best to get in and sparr alot....the pain you THOUGHT YOU FEAR!  ....was base on a bad past experience...

I too did not like to sparr...got kick in the groin real bad.....my greatest fear is getting hit there again....and getting hit in the ribs...hurts for about a week too......after a couple of times ....of hurting...it can effect the mind!

Your only hope of over coming this?  ...may lie in actual hits...from sparring and other techniques....in time....you will notice? ....Yep it still hurts....but You will overcome the fear!   ....cause you will always recover!

Please do not hit me with a bad comment?   ahhhh

Some people fear the oceans....only way to over come is jumb in....and do not drink as much as you can....as not to drown!

Aloha,


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## newy085 (Nov 18, 2008)

Have you been hurt before in class, because that could also add to the anxiety.

A few members in my club have similar reactions, and I think it mainly comes from not knowing and waiting. I done a little exercise with them.

Firstly, taught them to breathe correctly, if done properly and at the right time, punches to the chest and abdomen, are pretty much negated.

The next step we partnered up and told them I was going to hit them as hard as they hit me, so they controlled the power of the punch, and where in full control of when they would be punched. This took out alot of the apprehension and anxiety. All of the students started off with a light touch, but grew in confidence with each punch, reminding them to focus on their breathing.

We would practice with this for a couple of minutes at the start of every lesson and there was a massive improvement in confidence. See if you can find a high level student to help you with this, and remind them that you need to feel in control, to help develop your confidence, and reduce your anxiety. Any student should be happy to help.


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## Sukerkin (Nov 18, 2008)

The first step is the one you have already taken - acknowledging and verbalising that the fear you are feeling is not rational.

This is something you have already been doing for 18 months or so and your cognative mind knows that the fear of pain and injury is not one grounded in experience.  

So, the obvious thing to do is to take your ability to explain what you are feeling to a professional who can help you deal with it; for altho' we might be well meaning out here in Web-land, there's not a lot we can do to really help you overcome this.


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## matsu (Nov 21, 2008)

as still learning said... feel the fear and do it anyway buddy!

easier said than done i know but explain to a good instructor perhaps on a private lesson and he will take you through the various stages.

once you have taken a few hits you relise that its only tempoary and that what you are learning will decrease the chances that you will get hurt in a real situation if you get through this controlled phase.

on a much lesser path i still struggle not to turn away as a punch/strike comes at me and learning to move into a strike is still nervy its against human nature generally but others before me learn this skill so i know i can and must if i am to fulfill my potential in my chosen art.

hope that helps
 good luck man!

matsu


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## Love to Learn (Nov 25, 2008)

thanks to all that posted! 

strangely yet miraculously over the last few days my anxiety and health worries have faded dramatically and I am starting to feel like I was before it all started happening again. I am happy and confident in my training again and I have improved in my attitude towards what I am doing, I am much more positive and my training is improving too!

I dont know what has caused me to suddenly rid myself of the anxiety, maybe I'm growing out of it like the doctor said? Either way heres hoping it never returns and I continue to improve myself in training and as a person!

Once again thanks to everyone who took the time to post, it was greatly appreciated! 

With Respect


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## newy085 (Nov 25, 2008)

Thats good to here. Could have been a phase you were going through. Make sure you learn from it.


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## jks9199 (Nov 25, 2008)

Love to Learn said:


> thanks to all that posted!
> 
> strangely yet miraculously over the last few days my anxiety and health worries have faded dramatically and I am starting to feel like I was before it all started happening again. I am happy and confident in my training again and I have improved in my attitude towards what I am doing, I am much more positive and my training is improving too!
> 
> ...


A suggestion...  Take it for what it's worth -- and no more.

Talk to a mental health professional.  There are a lot of things that might be going on here.  If nothing else, you admit to some tendencies towards worrying too much about your health.  It might help you to get some professional insight into this.


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## Touch Of Death (Nov 25, 2008)

Love to Learn said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I have been training in kenpo for almost a year and a half and I am a purple belt. I am 17 years old and as you will see in another of my posts, i suffer with health anxiety - my doctor thinks it is something i will grow out of.
> 
> ...


Spar without ever throwing a punch back. Just evade and, yes, let the punches come to you. Pretty soon you will realize that you are not dying and become less afraid.... really.
Sean


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