# Poems



## Jade Tigress (Feb 5, 2010)

​*A Woman's Poem*​
Before I lay me down to sleep,​I pray for a man whos not a creep.​One whos handsome, smart, and strong,​One who loves to listen long.​One who thinks before he speaks,​One wholl call, not wait for weeks.​I pray hes rich and self-employed,​And when I spend, wont be annoyed.​Pull out my chair and hold my hand,​Massage my feet and help me stand​Oh, send a king to make me queen,​A man who loves to cook and clean.​I pray this man will love no other,​And relish visits with my mother.​​*A MANS POEM*​*
*​I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a​small butt, 36DDs;​who owns a bar on a golf course,​and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This​doesnt rhyme and I don't give a ****.​    The End​


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## Drac (Feb 5, 2010)

My step-daughter says the same prayer.....


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## CoryKS (Feb 5, 2010)

But a deaf-mute can't tell me how great I was last night.  Do not want.


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## Andy Moynihan (Feb 6, 2010)

Jade Tigress said:


> *A Woman's Poem*​
> Before I lay me down to sleep,​I pray for a man whos not a creep.​One whos handsome, smart, and strong,​One who loves to listen long.​One who thinks before he speaks,​One wholl call, not wait for weeks.​I pray hes rich and self-employed,​And when I spend, wont be annoyed.​Pull out my chair and hold my hand,​Massage my feet and help me stand​Oh, send a king to make me queen,​A man who loves to cook and clean.​I pray this man will love no other,​And relish visits with my mother.​
> *A MANS POEM*​
> 
> I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a​small butt, 36DDs;​who owns a bar on a golf course,​and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This​doesnt rhyme and I don't give a ****.​ The End​


 


We laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true........


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## seasoned (Feb 6, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Jade Tigress*
*I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a *

*small butt, 36DD&#8217;s; *

*who owns a bar on a golf course, *

*and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This *

*doesn&#8217;t rhyme and I don't give a ****. *

*The End* 

Even though it doesn't rhyme it has a catchy tune.


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## teekin (Feb 7, 2010)

seasoned said:


> Originally Posted by *Jade Tigress*
> *I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a *
> 
> *small butt, 36DDs; *
> ...


 

Ohhhh the little extra's Id like to add into this poem
would get me booted off MT
lori


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## seasoned (Feb 7, 2010)

Grendel308 said:


> Ohhhh the* little extra's Id like to add* into this poem
> would get me booted off MT
> lori


Hey lori, is that so it would rhyme a little. All in fun.


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## Ken Morgan (Feb 7, 2010)

Grendel308 said:


> Ohhhh the little extra's Id like to add into this poem
> would get me booted off MT
> lori


 
Go for it, I won't tell Bob, I swear!


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## Ken Morgan (Feb 7, 2010)

That would be great for about a month or two, but I know I would be sick of her after that time..I dont golf

Whats that saying, no matter how good looking she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her ****? Im sure the women here have something similar for us guys.

I simply want athletic, intelligent, educated, confident, a wacky sense of humour and someone who wants to go through life as equals. 

Hell she can even be NDP,  http://www.ndp.ca/  Id probably sleep with one eye open but thats OK.


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## Bill Mattocks (Feb 7, 2010)

Reminds me of a poem my grandfather used to tell:

_I finally met the perfect girl, I could not wish for more.
She's deaf and dumb and oversexed, and owns a liquor store.
_​


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## David43515 (Feb 7, 2010)

Hell, I`d settle for happy to see me at the end of the day.


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## Ken Morgan (Feb 7, 2010)

David43515 said:


> Hell, I`d settle for happy to see me at the end of the day.


 
Get a black Lab....


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## AlanE (Feb 11, 2010)

That was funny as heck. The extra message I know everyone caught was also the brevity of the man's poem. Wow, very funny. Thanks, Jade!


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## SensibleManiac (Feb 11, 2010)

That was hilarious, if a bit unrealistic, most guys would just pray for a nymphomaniac with 36DD's.


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