# Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts



## Jade Tigress

*Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts*

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

You will have trouble with the ties on your dobok pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.

The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.

The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.


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## Xue Sheng

Jade Tigress said:


> Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts
> 
> The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.
> 
> The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
> 
> After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.


 
:lol:

Yup I have personally experienced those 3

Accept the first one was the day you leave work early to make it to class on time, you discover you have forgotten that last week the instructor cancelled this weeks class.


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## Sukerkin

:lol:

There's that certain ring-of-truth about those 'Laws' .


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## stickarts

Lol!


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## Rich Parsons

Jade Tigress said:


> *Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts*
> 
> The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.



I used to volunteer for the joint locks.  
 



Jade Tigress said:


> *Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts*
> 
> After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.



If you do not trip some little kid will raise his hand to ask a question. The question will be, " What art does he study?" (* As kid points to student used in Demo *) 

Instructor giving the demo will be polite and ask "Why?"

The Kid will reply, "You guys beat the crap out of him and he kept getting back up, I want to study that art."


********

Can anyone guess which one I was? the Kid, Student or Instructor?


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## girlbug2

Here's more:

No strategy ever survives first contact with the enemy.

If you can see the enemy, he can see you also.

Careful planning is no substitute for dumb luck.


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## arnisador

Lol!


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## Sukerkin

"Suppressing fire doesn't" and "Tracers work both ways" have always been favourites of mine .


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## theletch1

I'm an aikido-ka so this one is an always for me:


> The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques


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## Rich Parsons

girlbug2 said:


> Here's more:
> 
> No strategy ever survives first contact with the enemy.



I thought this was a Gen Patton Quote?


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## KenpoTex

Rich Parsons said:


> I thought this was a Gen Patton Quote?


 
Gen. Heinz Guderian


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## Andy Moynihan

"If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward YOU".


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## girlbug2

Rich Parsons said:


> I thought this was a Gen Patton Quote?


 
Not sure who coined it first, but it's become one of Murphy's Laws of Combat ever since


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## Rich Parsons

KenpoTex said:


> Gen. Heinz Guderian



Thanks for the correction. I had a feeling I was wrong.


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## KenpoTex

Rich Parsons said:


> Thanks for the correction. I had a feeling I was wrong.


It's been "re-quoted" many times, including Powell in Desert Storm,  but Guderian was the first one to say it that I've ever been able to find (and he probably got it from someone).
(I'm a bit of a "quote geek" )

And, to actually contribute to the thread:

"Incoming rounds (or blades, or fists) have the right of way."


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## Sukerkin

Helmuth von Moltke is the originator of the "No plan" quote.  What he actually said was:

&#8220;Therefore no plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force.&#8221;


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## KenpoTex

interesting, thanks.  I stand corrected.


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## MA-Caver

I thought we were talking about Murphy's Law of Martial Arts??


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## Sukerkin

We were ... the definition of "martial" got a little stretched and then an interesting attribution problem came up.  

Peregrination over, I suspect the thread will cleave more tightly to it's core again.


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## tko4u

:-offtopic





MA-Caver said:


> I thought we were talking about Murphy's Law of Martial Arts??


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## tko4u

Agreed


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