# morning-after contraceptive



## Kirk

Over sixty medical and women's groups told the government that 
the morning-after contraceptive pill is safe and should be sold in 
drugstores and supermarkets without a prescription.

"Okay, I need a price check on the whore pills! I got a drunk girl 
in a prom dress over here, can we hurry up?  Price check?  Whore 
pills?"
                 --Jimmy Fallon






.


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## Cruentus




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## Jill666

Why spend your money- all you have to do is jump up & down afterwards and you won't get pregnant.


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## jfarnsworth

Holy s***, Is that all you have to do.


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## KenpoGirl

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Holy s***, Is that all you have to do.  *



LMAO  Not You Jason the GIRL!!!!


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## GouRonin

I'm waiting for the male contraceptive pill. You know, afterwards the guy takes it and it changes his DNA...


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by KenpoGirl _
> *LMAO  Not You Jason the GIRL!!!!   *



No I'd look perfrect trying to jumping jacks or something after this.


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *I'm waiting for the male contraceptive pill. You know, afterwards the guy takes it and it changes his DNA...
> *



Gou, you know. I was listening to Bob & Tom (I think) yesterday morning where they said a woman was about to have a set of twins. Each one of the twins had a different father. Apparently according to the doctor that it is quite possible but very very rare this could happen. It seems that when she ovulated that both men had to be there the same night within moments of eachother.  I don't have any male friends that I'm that comfortable with.:rofl:


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## Bob Hubbard

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *No I'd look perfrect trying to jumping jacks or something after this.  *



Why am I now having bad flashbacks to Robin Williams in the Fisher King?  You know, the scene in the park?

:rofl:


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## Rob_Broad

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Gou, you know. I was listening to Bob & Tom (I think) yesterday morning where they said a woman was about to have a set of twins. Each one of the twins had a different father. Apparently according to the doctor that it is quite possible but very very rare this could happen. It seems that when she ovulated that both men had to be there the same night within moments of eachother.  I don't have any male friends that I'm that comfortable with.:rofl: *



I think that is an EX of mine she had a great motto "2 is copmpany but 3 is an extra $75."


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by Rob_Broad _
> *I think that is an EX of mine she had a great motto "2 is copmpany but 3 is an extra $75." *



WHAT!!!!   :rofl: :rofl:


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## Rob_Broad

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *WHAT!!!!   :rofl: :rofl: *



When I first met her I though she worked for the city at night holding up street lights.  Oh well you live, you learn.


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## jfarnsworth

Bumber, I hope the next one was picked out a little more carefully.


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## Kirk

> _Originally posted by Rob_Broad _
> *I think that is an EX of mine she had a great motto "2 is copmpany but 3 is an extra $75." *



I told my wife, I says "honey, lets make love like the old days"
she says "okay .. gimme 50 bucks!" :shrug: 


I don't get no respect at all!

--Rodney Dangerfield


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## Bob Hubbard

Add $75 hazard pay if its the night after a Texas Chilli cookoff!

:rofl:


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## jeffkyle

Oh man...I didn't need that mental picture!


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## Nightingale

the post was humerous.  

but I figured I'd add a little info...

The reason these groups want this pill sold over the counter is that in case of rape, or even in case  of "oops" (and "oopses" can happen no matter how careful one is, and they don't happen exclusively to unmarried folks either) that the person can walk into the store and buy something to reduce the chances of a pregnancy.  These pills are about 75% effective (compared to 84% effectiveness for condoms used properly, and 98% for the pill, and 99.99% for the shot, so they're not a real reliable form of birth control, but at that point, its a whole lot better than nothing)  and have to be taken within 72 hours.  You can't always get seen by a doctor or clinic in that timeframe.  The pills don't cause abortion (RU486, the abortion pill, is something different entirely, and should ONLY be used under a doctor's care, because it is actually more dangerous than a surgical abortion).  The "morning after pills" are basically a high dose of birth control pills and act in pretty much the same way.


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## WilliamTLear

This is the Humor section isn't it?

Jeeze!!! Nightingale you've gotta drop being so damn serious. We know... that you know... what we don't know... and what we'll never know... Relax!!!! Let us dumb guys have some fun for a change!


Like the Right Reverend Bob always says:

*Gimme SLACK!!!!*


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## Kirk

> _Originally posted by WilliamTLear _
> *This is the Humor section isn't it?
> 
> Jeeze!!! Nightingale you've gotta drop being so damn serious. We know... that you know... what we don't know... and what we'll never know... Relax!!!! Let us dumb guys have some fun for a change!
> 
> 
> Like the Right Reverend Bob always says:
> 
> Gimme SLACK!!!!  *




Yes ... seriousness in all other boards, but this is the humor 
board!


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## Hollywood1340

"...finaly Friday I'm outta control,
Forget the working blues and
LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!"

Laughter is the best medicine, right up there with Alieve and Tiger Balm, and Advil, and Prozac and.......
HEHE


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## GouRonin

> _Originally posted by nightingale8472 _
> *but I figured I'd add a little info...
> The reason these groups want this pill sold over the counter is that in case of rape, or even in case  of "oops" (and "oopses" can happen no matter how careful one is, and they don't happen exclusively to unmarried folks either) that the person can walk into the store and buy something to reduce the chances of a pregnancy.  These pills are about 75% effective (compared to 84% effectiveness for condoms used properly, and 98% for the pill, and 99.99% for the shot, so they're not a real reliable form of birth control, but at that point, its a whole lot better than nothing)  and have to be taken within 72 hours.  You can't always get seen by a doctor or clinic in that timeframe.  The pills don't cause abortion (RU486, the abortion pill, is something different entirely, and should ONLY be used under a doctor's care, because it is actually more dangerous than a surgical abortion).  The "morning after pills" are basically a high dose of birth control pills and act in pretty much the same way. *



You know baby, nothing is more erotic than a woman who quotes stats...back off you guys, this one is mine.


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## WilliamTLear

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *You know baby, nothing is more erotic than a women who quotes stats...back off you guys, this one is mine.
> *



DOOOOOOOOOD!!!

I found her first!!! I love women that don't forget to take their smart pills.


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## GouRonin

This one is mine. This way I will never have to know anything about Kenpo. I'll just have her explain it all to my attackers and they can die of boredom.


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## WilliamTLear

Why would she stump your attackers with talk about Kenpo... She's a leading expert on everything in the KNOWN UNIVERSE... She could puzzle them with small talk about the nuclear science involved in the nipple piercings of the future while you hit them over the head with a claw-hammer.

Besides, She's mine! :moon:


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## GouRonin

I will carefully watch her technique and then try to imitate the feared _"Flapping Gums of Death"_ and use the _"Windy Lips of Boredom"_ as my extention technique.

She'll never love you like she loves me!


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## WilliamTLear

I have already mastered those techniques, and have a couple of secret ones that I alone have witnessed.... like the know-it-all chat box of death, and my favorite... Forum Omniscience, the secret technique of the Keyboard Warrior!!!

And DOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

*SHE'S MINE!!!*


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## GouRonin

Once I get her to show me the answer to the eternal question of _"What is the sound of one tongue flapping"_ then I shall truly be the master.

All mine Billy...all mine...


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## WilliamTLear

I'm trying to learn HER SECRET!!! She knows everything... and once I have a handle on that... I will take over the world.... ALL WILL SUBMIT TO MY POWER... EVERYONE WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME...

*BILLY "THE KNOW-IT-ALL" LEAR*  

Watch out or I may try to kill you through sheer boredom alone too!!! :fart: 

and uh dood... she uh... well... She's MINE!!!!


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## GouRonin

...she's yours...


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## WilliamTLear

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *...she's yours...
> *



*TAKE HER BACK!!! I CHANGED MY MIND!!!*


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## GouRonin

Ha! No way! I lost her fair and square.
:iws:


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## WilliamTLear

I reconsidered... the idea of people's brains exploding from too much information, and liquified brain matter filling the streets due to a know-it-all epidemic isn't the way I want to rule the KNOWN UNIVERSE!!!

:redeme:

*SHE'S YOURS!!!*


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## GouRonin

You won and now you have to accept it. Take it like a man. But I'm not unreasonable...here, take this $50.00 bucks and go see a movie... buy her something nice... ball gags are in this season I hear...


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## WilliamTLear

I'm sure she already knows all about ball-gags! She might even have a friend that had a bad expereince with one and a doctor that implicidly says they are no good for you. But then again What does she know?

and no doooood!!!

She's yours!!! All yours!!! I concede...


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## GouRonin

**ring**

**ring**

_"You have reached the answering service of Gou Ronin. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now but I had to leave the continent suddenly so there is no body home. Please leave a message and when I get back I'll try to respond ASAP. Have a great day."_

(...hang up...)


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## WilliamTLear

10...


9...


8...


7...


6...


5...


4...


3...


2...


1...


0...

Ignition... 

_"Lift Off!!! and Billy Lear is on his way to the moon ladies and gentlemen. He may be humanity's only salvation from the kenpo know-it-all epidemic started by Nightingale only a few short hours ago..."_ --mission control, NASA


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## jfarnsworth

Aw crap, This is what I missed after I went to bed!!!!!!!  I want to get involved. (_standing with my arms folded, tapping my right foot on the ground_ ). Not Fair.


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## jeffkyle

I don't want to get involved, but I sure like seeing the humor!  I can't wait for Billy to get back from the moon and pick up where he left off!


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## Rich Parsons

Yo! DUDE (* AKA Gou-ie *) 

Yo! Sweet (* AKA Billy Lear *) 

And Jay (* AKA Jfarnsworth *) 


Is this how you guys also feel about me????


Silent Bob


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## Nightingale

> _Originally posted by WilliamTLear _
> *I'm sure she already knows all about ball-gags! *



well, if you're counting the one in the trunk in my bedroom...


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## jfarnsworth

> _Originally posted by nightingale8472 _
> *well, if you're counting the one in the trunk in my bedroom... *



 Oh my gosh! :rofl:


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## RCastillo

> _Originally posted by Kirk _
> *Over sixty medical and women's groups told the government that
> the morning-after contraceptive pill is safe and should be sold in
> drugstores and supermarkets without a prescription.
> 
> "Okay, I need a price check on the whore pills! I got a drunk girl
> in a prom dress over here, can we hurry up?  Price check?  Whore
> pills?"
> --Jimmy Fallon
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> . *



Let's stay on Martial Arts!

Self Appointed Moderator, and Dark Apprentice of Kaith Rustaz !


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## white belt

Why not have Morning After pill dispensers marketed to the McDoJos and McDoJangs?  They could put them next to the Coke machine in the lobby.  If they "wake up" after a practice, and "feel violated" by fake Martial Art, they can then shop around for a legitimate school and not have to wait nine months.  No child support to tangle up the lessons fees for the male counterparts!

Better living/Martial Art through chemistry,
white belt


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## GouRonin

> _Originally posted by jfarnsworth _
> *Aw crap, This is what I missed after I went to bed!!!!!!!  I want to get involved. (standing with my arms folded, tapping my right foot on the ground ). Not Fair. *



Billy made me. I didn't want to do it. I was at home reading the bible to orphans when he msg'ed me.

Honest.

Oh and Rich, the answer to that is no. In fact I can sit and watch you talk for hours.


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## arnisador

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *I was at home reading the bible to orphans when he msg'ed me.*



Why were there orphans in your house?


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## Bob Hubbard

They ran outta chicken?


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## TLH3rdDan

> Why were there orphans in your house?



he is attempting to raise a master race of Canadian A$$ clowns to rule the world


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## white belt

It's @SSCLOWN Sir, not A$$CLOWN!

There are reports of @SSCLOWN cloning experiments as we speak.   They are being bred at the "Shurukan" in Kansas City, MO.  A hybrid has been seen thumbing on I-70.  More details are at the MMA area on the "Tank / Shamrock" thread.  Read the "APB" POST.  If you have kin in MO., call and WARN them.  If anyone in MO. is reading this and hears grunting sounds outside their home tonight, LEAVE THE PORCHLIGHT OFF AND TOSS ALL OF YOUR MEAT PRODUCTS AND BEER AS FAR AS POSSIBLE TOWARD THE STREET!!!  If you read the "APB" POST you WILL understand.  Apparently Canada has been selling their secrets to the highest bidder.

Ephedra anyone?  
white belt


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## Bob Hubbard

ok, the assclown stuff is getting old.....let it go.


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## GouRonin

> _Originally posted by TLH3rdDan _
> *he is attempting to raise a master race of Canadian A$$ clowns to rule the world *



Sadly, the @ssclowns in the USA are far superior to any we have. Good for you guys. You're number one. I suspect in the upcoming war they'll run into Iraq and take away Saddam's rank and make him feel much shame.


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## RCastillo

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *Sadly, the @ssclowns in the USA are far superior to any we have. Good for you guys. You're number one. I suspect in the upcoming war they'll run into Iraq and take away Saddam's rank and make him feel much shame. *



I don't know. I think I may just go hang out with Lord Ronin, and the Hells Angels Chapter at the local pub in Canada.


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## TLH3rdDan

didnt know the angels were so hard up for members... oh well it is just the canadian chapter... guess thats more like the boy scouts...  :rofl: :shrug:


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## RCastillo

> _Originally posted by TLH3rdDan _
> *didnt know the angels were so hard up for members... oh well it is just the canadian chapter... guess thats more like the boy scouts...  :rofl: :shrug: *



Hey, That's mean, and I was rooting for the Titans too!


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## TLH3rdDan

ohhhh im a titans fan but i knew that was a lost cause... there were not a lot of us tennesseans that thought they could pull it off... i mean there was that little glimmer of hope that just maybe they could pull it off... but honestly they never should have gotten past the steelers


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## GouRonin

> _Originally posted by TLH3rdDan _
> *didnt know the angels were so hard up for members... oh well it is just the canadian chapter... guess thats more like the boy scouts...  :rofl: :shrug: *



Well I can see how you might confuse the boy scouts up here with Bikers. Even our bikers, unlike yours, can tie their own showlaces and don't have to know to count higher than 2 because they don't marry their immediate family.

Actually, last summer the big fun was car bombs in residential neighbourhoods, and up here, they can make their own bombs on purpose instead of accidentally blowing themselves up in their meth labs.

Stop me if I went too fast for you there or used words that were too big.


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## Bob Hubbard

This is a friendly mod note... 

next person to take a shot at an art, or nationality, etc, regardless of who started things, is gonna get a 1 week suspension.  I don't want to be a hard ***, but I've gotten a few too many threads reported the last 24 hours that are dealing with shots at TKD, Canada, etc.  Enough ok folks?  

Thank you.


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## Cruentus

Did I miss all the fun or what!?!?

:rofl: 

Oh well, I had fun reading anyhow.


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## GouRonin

Hey Paul? Are you coming to the Tim Hartman/Paul Irish Arnis/JKD seminar in London February first? Call Jaybacca!


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## Cruentus

Hey....my names Paul....and I'm Irish. Does that count for anything? 

Sure, I'll go. I just have to make sure I don't have any other commitments that day. I know that it's a Saturday; my birthday is Feb. 2, and I'm not sure what my Girlfriend/family has planned that weekend. Looks like I'd better find out!

Thanks for filling me in!


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## arnisador

> _Originally posted by GouRonin _
> *Irish Arnis*



Tell me more!


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## GouRonin

> _Originally posted by arnisador _
> *Tell me more! *



You misunderstand

The seminar is with Tim Hartman who will be teaching Arnis and also at the seminar will be Paul Irish who is a JKD teacher.

Not Irish Arnis...although Mr. Irish can work a stick and knife and grapple well too.


It's a 2 for the price of one seminar!


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## Jill666

The things I miss when I go to class, sleep, go to class, eat, sign on AFTER all the fun. 

Jeez, and I had a ball gag too.  I guess most of us women do- wonder why that is?

Well, time to let the orphans go. :wah:


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## fist of fury

> _Originally posted by Jill666 _
> *The things I miss when I go to class, sleep, go to class, eat, sign on AFTER all the fun.
> 
> Jeez, and I had a ball gag too.  I guess most of us women do- wonder why that is?
> 
> Well, time to let the orphans go. :wah: *



It's so that.......No I better not say it the censors on this board will kill me.


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