# Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck?



## Seig (Jan 10, 2006)

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck? 

Here is a little test that will help you decide. 

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Rednecks? 

The answer can be found by posing the following question: 

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,  raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal ..40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. 

What do you do? 

********************* 

*Democrat's Answer:* 

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! 

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? 

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? 

Could we run away? 

What does my wife think? 

What about the kids? 

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? 

What does the law say about this situation? 

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? 

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? 

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? 

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? 

Should I call 911? 

Why is this street so deserted? 

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier,  healthier street that would discourage such behavior. 

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. 

************************** 

*Republican's Answer:* 

BANG! 

**************************** 

*Redneck's Answer:* 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click 

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"


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## Rich Parsons (Jan 10, 2006)

Then there is the Rich way of doing it.

** Pull Gun and Fire **  Firearm explodes in your hands. 

(Badguy) Dude that never happens. 

(Me) Yeah what are the odds? :idunno:


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## shesulsa (Jan 10, 2006)

Hmmm ... moving aside and letting him spear Jerry Falwell walking behind me wasn't an answer so ... ummm ... Independent? :boing1:


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## Fluffy (Jan 10, 2006)

Bang (wound).....spinning hook/round/side combo......


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## Kreth (Jan 10, 2006)

Fluffy said:
			
		

> Bang (wound).....spinning hook/round/side combo......


Um... you misspelled spinning hook/get knife stuck in leg/round/side combo...


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## bustr (Jan 10, 2006)

*Republican's Answer: 

Draw the gun but let him across the border into Pakistan. Make sure he is safe and that he is rewarded for pretending to attack you. Then bomb the **** out of a secular nation who has never attacked you.*


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## Touch Of Death (Jan 10, 2006)

Despite the common belief about redneck meaning you have a sunburn on your neck from hard work, the term Redneck is actualy another way of saying you are a union supporter and wear a red kerchief to show it. Specificly the Chicago Union. Anywhoo Redneck and Democrat mean the same thing.
Sean


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## Fluffy (Jan 10, 2006)

Kreth said:
			
		

> Um... you misspelled spinning hook/get knife stuck in leg/round/side combo...


 
Have you ever watch Walker TR, that would never happen!  :idunno:


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## Kreth (Jan 10, 2006)

Fluffy said:
			
		

> Have you ever watch Walker TR, that would never happen! :idunno:


Stuntmen, multiple takes, and variable camera speeds can do that for you...


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## Makalakumu (Jan 11, 2006)

I'm sure the wound that fluffy was talking about was the weapon hand...


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## Fluffy (Jan 11, 2006)

upnorthkyosa said:
			
		

> I'm sure the wound that fluffy was talking about was the weapon hand...


 
Yea.......yea......that's it!  That's the ticket!

A just like good old Chuck, I'll have some stand in legs waiting just around the corner!


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## bluemtn (Jan 11, 2006)

Would you be singing your "Eyes of a Ranger" song as you do all of this?


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## Rick Wade (Jan 11, 2006)

I already knew I was a redneck.

V/R

Rick


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## someguy (Jan 12, 2006)

You are carrying a Glock cal ..40.... Whars my shotgun.


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## Fluffy (Jan 12, 2006)

tkdgirl said:
			
		

> Would you be singing your "Eyes of a Ranger" song as you do all of this?


 
Great, now that song is in my head...........thanks!


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## Cujo (Jan 12, 2006)

Redneck! But hey, I'm from Hicksville, Ohio so what do ya expect.

Pax
Cujo


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## Keite (Jan 13, 2006)

That was great! LOL



			
				Seig said:
			
		

> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?


 
Democrats...We Republicans know how to keep things simple!


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## Touch Of Death (Jan 13, 2006)

Keite said:
			
		

> That was great! LOL
> 
> 
> 
> Democrats...We Republicans know how to keep things simple!


 As if you had a choice.:uhyeah:


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## Fluffy (Jan 13, 2006)

Touch Of Death said:
			
		

> As if you had a choice.:uhyeah:


 
Choice:  Bang!  or  Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang ....................


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## Kreth (Jan 13, 2006)

Fluffy said:
			
		

> Choice: Bang! or Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang ....................


I was thinking head shot vs. center mass... (and I happen to be an Independent)


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## Fluffy (Jan 14, 2006)

Kreth said:
			
		

> I was thinking head shot vs. center mass... (and I happen to be an Independent)


 
   the world is full of choices........


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## jfarnsworth (Jan 14, 2006)

Well I don't carry guns. Never had one and never really ever wanted one. However in this given scenario I'll tell you what I'd do without a thought. 


Bang!

Easy as that.


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