# ...You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You



## Zumorito (Aug 11, 2016)

DEAR READER

...I want to feel like I can open up to humanity about who/what I really am, but it's been my experience in life, that no matter how much evidence I might provide, most people simply just _can't_ believe it...they don't _want_ to believe that stuff like this happens to _children_, let alone in _America_...or that certain _forces_ exist. ...So I've just been trying to keep it to myself, and the result is that I can't hardly say _anything_ about me, which makes people suspicious and nervous, which is counterproductive....I don't like to lie; if I was good at lying, then I would have made up a total bland, normal, _believable_ story other than telling them the _truth...._but I'm starting to think/hope maybe this is a safe place for me to be open and honest and not pretend to be something I'm not because I'm afraid that people just wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyway...I should say this _beforehand_; if you think the following recollections are just a big, long, made up fantasy, just do everyone a favor and _keep it to yourself_. It's not going to _surprise_ me a single bit if _nobody_ believes me at all...just _giggle_ quietly to yourself and move along if all you're going to do is say what everybody _probably_ _already_ _knows_. My life's story is, by and large, _unacceptably_ unbelievable and it's going to sound absolutely loony-toons-bonkers-_insane_. You have been _warned_...

PART ONE

I don't know who I am; what my real name is, and I literally never should have been born. My Father was somewhat adopted...he doesn't talk about it a lot, but my Grandfather isn't really my Grandfather; my Father had a different Father who gave him a different name. Nobody knows for sure where he came from though, probably because his Mother was sleeping around a bunch and high out of her mind. She died a while back though. Father then left the big city and met my mother in a small-town bar in Montana. He and her got really drunk, and then my Father asked my Mother if she'd marry him, (even though he had no idea who she was). Then they got married, and Father dragged her off across Canada in a pick up truck, where they arrived in Alaska and traveled pretty much all the Last Frontier, camping out of their truck. The adventure came to an end though when my Mother suddenly became pregnant with me. This scared them both pretty badly seeing as they were both alcoholics and Father was probably on narcotics because it wasn't that much longer before that he said he was floating over San Diego before he left the Navy because his mother got shot in the face by a drug dealer. She lived. She died of alcoholism about ten years ago.

You see, my mother was almost fifty at that point; she had been told by doctors a while back that it was _impossible_ for her to have anymore children. They finally settled down in a little trailer about a hundred miles south of the middle of Alaska; Mother broke her leg halfway though her pregnancy with me; the cast bothered her after a while though so she cut it off with a hacksaw. When I was born, I arrived very late, was very small and frail, jaundiced, starving and dying. Doctors were pretty sure I wasn't going to make it, but I ended up pulling through.

Our family home burned to the ground on my first birthday. A generator had been blowing hot exhaust on a wall in the basement, the wall ignited and spread to all the dangerous stuff people keep in their basements (gas, paint,  laundry detergents and cleaning supplies etc etc...I hate basements.) Mother was on the phone with the fire department and Father had gotten me out to the truck before running back in to try putting out the fire, but it was no use and he came back out. Mother suddenly heard a booming voice tell her "GET OUT. GET OUT RIGHT NOW". She said she could hear it clear as day; it wasn't my Father.

She told the fireman she had to hang up because it was no longer safe for her; she started getting a sick feeling in her stomach that something was coming and told the fireman she had to get out, she had to get out _right now_. She hung up (it was back in the days of springy cord wall phones) and sprinted out to the truck. Not a split second after she was clear of the house, an enormous explosion finished off the rest of the house, starting with the precise spot she'd just been standing in.

I was sick a lot as a kid and I didn't start talking until I was about five years old; I communicated using some kind of made-up sign language. This led them to start thinking I might be autistic or retarded or something. I started making up for it later though; hyperactive would probably be an understatement.

Until recently, I never knew that there was another part of the story of my entrance into the world...it was a _prophecy_; she had happened upon a Fortune Teller at a Fairgrounds one day not long after doctors had given her the bad news, and she asked my mom to come sit with her. After a preliminary interview of sorts, the prophet told her that she would soon find herself with child; Mother laughed at this though, and told her there had to be some kind of mistake, for she was elderly and baron. The seer just smiled and told her that it's just what the stars have told her. A couple years or so later, I was born...Mom says I've always been her little miracle baby....sometimes though I wonder if maybe I'm something else...maybe I'm Mommy's little _monster._

To Be Continued in Part Two


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## hoshin1600 (Aug 11, 2016)

Zumorito said:


> DEAR READER
> 
> ...I want to feel like I can open up to humanity about who/what I really am, but it's been my experience in life, that no matter how much evidence I might provide, most people simply just _can't_ believe it...they don't _want_ to believe that stuff like this happens to _children_, let alone in _America_...or that certain _forces_ exist. ...So I've just been trying to keep it to myself, and the result is that I can't hardly say _anything_ about me, which makes people suspicious and nervous, which is counterproductive....I don't like to lie; if I was good at lying, then I would have made up a total bland, normal, _believable_ story other than telling them the _truth...._but I'm starting to think/hope maybe this is a safe place for me to be open and honest and not pretend to be something I'm not because I'm afraid that people just wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyway...I should say this _beforehand_; if you think the following recollections are just a big, long, made up fantasy, just do everyone a favor and _keep it to yourself_. It's not going to _surprise_ me a single bit if _nobody_ believes me at all...just _giggle_ quietly to yourself and move along if all you're going to do is say what everybody _probably_ _already_ _knows_. My life's story is, by and large, _unacceptably_ unbelievable and it's going to sound absolutely loony-toons-bonkers-_insane_. You have been _warned_...
> 
> ...



Zumorito, 
You seem like you could be a nice person but this is a martial arts forum.  The meet and great section is to tell others about your martial art experience. It is not a place to tell your life story.  I am sure the administrators of this sight would appreciate it if you could keep any posts you make focused on martial arts.


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## Zumorito (Aug 11, 2016)

I didn't know it was only for telling others about my martial arts experience. Under the description of the section, it listed multiple uses for it. Which one is it?


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## Zumorito (Aug 11, 2016)

...Says it's for introducing yourself, saying hello, and meeting new members...nothing about informing others of one's martial arts experience...huh.


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## Tez3 (Aug 11, 2016)

Often life experiences influence why someone takes up martial arts or why they choose a particular style.


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## Kickboxer101 (Aug 11, 2016)

Zumorito said:


> I didn't know it was only for telling others about my martial arts experience. Under the description of the section, it listed multiple uses for it. Which one is it?


Well sorry but you kind of post these kind of things all over the board and from what I've seen you haven't actually posted about actual martial arts but I could be wrong I can't be bothered to go through your entire history


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## Zumorito (Aug 11, 2016)

I don't think I do; I posted a couple things which sparked some long debates, and, personally, I feel it kinda got blown out of proportion. I'm more interested in survivalism and spirituality; posted some stuff regarding martial arts too. I'm just more philosophical than physical.


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## Tez3 (Aug 11, 2016)

Zumorito, welcome to MT anyway, ignore the children, they get bored easily.


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## Touch Of Death (Aug 11, 2016)

Zumorito said:


> DEAR READER
> 
> ...I want to feel like I can open up to humanity about who/what I really am, but it's been my experience in life, that no matter how much evidence I might provide, most people simply just _can't_ believe it...they don't _want_ to believe that stuff like this happens to _children_, let alone in _America_...or that certain _forces_ exist. ...So I've just been trying to keep it to myself, and the result is that I can't hardly say _anything_ about me, which makes people suspicious and nervous, which is counterproductive....I don't like to lie; if I was good at lying, then I would have made up a total bland, normal, _believable_ story other than telling them the _truth...._but I'm starting to think/hope maybe this is a safe place for me to be open and honest and not pretend to be something I'm not because I'm afraid that people just wouldn't be able to handle it. Anyway...I should say this _beforehand_; if you think the following recollections are just a big, long, made up fantasy, just do everyone a favor and _keep it to yourself_. It's not going to _surprise_ me a single bit if _nobody_ believes me at all...just _giggle_ quietly to yourself and move along if all you're going to do is say what everybody _probably_ _already_ _knows_. My life's story is, by and large, _unacceptably_ unbelievable and it's going to sound absolutely loony-toons-bonkers-_insane_. You have been _warned_...
> 
> ...


I don't find this unbelievable. It is the same feeling I had when I was a child. I blame Sunday School. I felt like I was the Devil's little secret, and fought like hell to not be that person. Again, I blame Sunday School.


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## Zumorito (Aug 11, 2016)

@Tez3: Thanks for the warm welcome. 

@Touch Of Death: Haha; right?! Parents tried to convert me as a kid later on; never really took though. I just have a hard time believing in an all-knowing all-powerful invisible man in the sky who created us flawed then demands we apologize for being flawed or we get thrown into a fire forever....just doesn't make sense to me. XD ....Sounds like an attempt to terrify free spirits into falling in line, haha. Ancient Aliens though....those I believe in. Pretty sure the "Gods" were just aliens trying to take advantage of the human race. I want all aliens out of our solar system; I don't care if they claim to be the good aliens or not, I want them ALL to leave and just let us Humans succeed or fail on our _own_. That's how foreign incremental takeovers always start; starts out with gifts and promises of helping make the future better. Next thing ya know, you're getting anal-probed and thrown into a People-Zoo! XD


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## Steve (Aug 11, 2016)

I think you're right, Zumorito.  You told me, and I don't believe you.  But I do think you have a very vivid imagination and are a pretty good writer.  I hope you keep it up.


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## Tony Dismukes (Aug 11, 2016)

Steve said:


> I think you're right, Zumorito.  You told me, and I don't believe you.  But I do think you have a very vivid imagination and are a pretty good writer.  I hope you keep it up.


However a creative writing forum might be a better venue than a martial arts forum for expressing himself.


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## Zumorito (Aug 12, 2016)

Actually...I think a Spirituality forum might be a better venue than a martial arts forum. They seem to be able to handle weird stuff better. Thinking I've had it backwards; I was thinking that Spirituality was a part of Martial Arts, when perhaps the real Truth is that Martial Arts is a part of Spirituality.


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## Touch Of Death (Aug 12, 2016)

Zumorito said:


> @Tez3: Thanks for the warm welcome.
> 
> @Touch Of Death: Haha; right?! Parents tried to convert me as a kid later on; never really took though. I just have a hard time believing in an all-knowing all-powerful invisible man in the sky who created us flawed then demands we apologize for being flawed or we get thrown into a fire forever....just doesn't make sense to me. XD ....Sounds like an attempt to terrify free spirits into falling in line, haha. Ancient Aliens though....those I believe in. Pretty sure the "Gods" were just aliens trying to take advantage of the human race. I want all aliens out of our solar system; I don't care if they claim to be the good aliens or not, I want them ALL to leave and just let us Humans succeed or fail on our _own_. That's how foreign incremental takeovers always start; starts out with gifts and promises of helping make the future better. Next thing ya know, you're getting anal-probed and thrown into a People-Zoo! XD


I would sooner believe that Sleestacks were controlling us from the center of the earth, like it says in that other Holy Book, but what ever.


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## Zumorito (Aug 12, 2016)

PART TWO

So yeah; I was a weird frail little kid, really pale, never talked, except I think for maybe saying the word ::bird" once when I was about four. Haha, and my pinky was deformed because my sister accidentally cut it off in the spring door when I was two; it was hanging by a thread but doctors managed to stitch it back on. Still a weird bump and a scar going over halfway around my finger haha.

Dad was still drinking back then and fought with mom; yelling, broken dishes, the usual stuff. He didn't start throwing my sister and I around until we were around eight or so though.

Around five years old I finally started talking and I guess that's when everything started going downhill. I was hyper and bouncing off the walls and asking my religious and academic teachers questions they couldn't or didn't want to answer; I always wanted to know the how and why of things and the reason "Because I said so." just didn't fly with me so I was usually booted for being "disruptive". I always got good grades though, and by and large my teachers liked me pretty good, but sometimes I kinda freaked them out...

I'd inherited my mom's psychic abilities, but growing up I didn't really think much of it; I thought everyone was like that; I was kind of like a blind kid growing up in the world thinking it looked blurry for everyone else too before realizing I needed glasses. So when I felt like something bad was about to happen and spoke up about it, people would laugh and then give me weird looks when in the next moment the fire alarm went off for a drill or some kids suddenly got into a fight out in the hallway. Usually happens about five to ten minutes after my hairs stand up on end like there's static in the air. I could also kinda "see into people's souls"...I'm not sure what else to call it. It's like I could see people's memories and feel their feelings as if they were my own, and could tell when I was being lied to or manipulated in some way; had a feel for what kind of a person someone was.

I first started noticing it when asking my folks about their childhoods; they'd tell me stories and I'd visualize it in my head like a daydream as they were telling it; kinda like how you get when you're really into a good book. I'd ask questions about it for more detail and would often realize that the daydream in my head would match up with the details of their environment or what they were wearing, and sometimes my daydream would play out differently than what they were saying, and when I'd asked for clarification they'd be surprised to realize that I noticed they'd left something out. I played around with it for a while and made the mistake of trying it on my teachers one day; some of them got a bright twinkle in their eye when I showed them, others though got a fearful/hateful look in their eyes though and I wasn't sure why at the time.

I'd of course become a magnet for bullies at this point and had a problem controlling my impulses/temper. I'd get sent home a lot and dad would wail on me; that cycle went on for a while before I threw a temper tantrum towards the start of third grade...and, like I said at the start, this is hardly believable and I totally get that, but the lights started dimming and flickering when I was screaming and crying and carrying on. That was right around the time my parents yanked me out of school.

See, this is a small town, full of Russians and rednecks. We have a lot of two kinds of buildings: Churches, and Bars. Some of my teachers had expressed concerns/complaints to my parents that I was practicing witchcraft, or that I was possessed by a demon or in league with the devil; a couple hick farmers that my family's company does business with actually asked my dad once with a perfectly straight face if he had found me out in a field; like I was an alien that crash landed here. ...Can't really blame him for being as rough on me as he was; being born different from other people caused my family a whole lot of grief. Another reason a part of me just wishes I'd never been born/feels like I shouldn't have.

My parents tried homeschooling me after that, but it wasn't very successful seeing as they'd both dropped out of highschool and never bothered with GEDs, plus the business to run, plus they were old and tired, plus the expenses for a proper curriculum. ...It pretty much was just filling out the preliminary paperwork so that I was still legally "in school". I pretty much just did my own thing from there; hung out in the woods, read books, rode to the library on my bike to surf the web and tear up the playground. Wouldn't start school again until 6th grade....and that's a phase of my life best saved for part three haha.




...To Be Continued in Part Three


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## Chris Parker (Aug 12, 2016)

Zumorito, do not continue in part three. This is really irrelevant for the forum here… remember, this is a martial arts forum, not a creative writing one, nor a "spiritual study one", nor a substitute therapy one. We're here to discuss martial arts as the primary focus… and, when it comes to the "Meet and Greet" section, the idea is to give the forum at large an idea of yourself, yeah… but with a focus on the martial arts side.

Nothing you've posted here is relevant to this forum.


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## Zumorito (Aug 12, 2016)

Yeahhhh...This place isn't for me. Seeya.


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## elder999 (Aug 12, 2016)




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## donald1 (Aug 12, 2016)

Zumorito said:


> I didn't know it was only for telling others about my martial arts experience. Under the description of the section, it listed multiple uses for it. Which one is it?


Its not. People talk about all sorts of things here. Im sure someone here could say some useful information for you.  But im thinking those chances are low. And i dont think the people here including myself would know how to help you. What you need is someone you can talk to in person as well. If that whole story is true then what you need is a good friend you can both trust and speak to face to face. I wish you luck in finding what your looking for.


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## jks9199 (Aug 12, 2016)

Meet & Greetings is an area for folks to get to know each other.  It's kind of a vestibule,  a place for people to tell each other something about themselves, sort of pick up a name tag and say hi before they join the party elsewhere on the site. This thread is moving quite a bit beyond that. 

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk


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