# Feelings of Inadequacy ~ Rant



## Jade Tigress (Aug 8, 2006)

You know, I feel so inadequate in training sometimes. Mostly when it comes to application. I have had a little over 2 years training, and I cannot apply anything worth a crap. It's not that I'm not taught application, it's just that my mind kind of freezes and I can't remember what to do, or to be spontaneous, or in the least bit effective.

I still need to be told how to apply things and I feel stupid and inadequate in my training. Last night we did an application drill and I felt like a total moron. There were guys in class that had like 5 months of training and were kicking ***...and here I am like an idiot, duh...what do I do? 

Anyway, I get discouraged by my lack of "getting it" after all this time. WHY DON'T I GET IT?????


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## Kreth (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade Tigress said:
			
		

> I still need to be told how to apply things and I feel stupid and inadequate in my training. Last night we did an application drill and I felt like a total moron. There were guys in class that had like 5 months of training and were kicking ***...and here I am like an idiot, duh...what do I do?


I'm not a CMA guy, but one of the most important things I learned for these types of drills is to do *something.* Sure, you may look like an idiot a few times, but you're training yourself out of the habit of stopping. Of course, check with your instructor first. He/she may not want you varying from the techniques applied.


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## AceHBK (Aug 8, 2006)

*Holds candle*

"My name is AceHBK and I also so inadequate in training sometimes"

Hey I know how ya feel.  It happens I think to all of us.  I know u moved and found a new school so could rust be a factor?

I feel your pain.  I took 2 and a half months off then just started back.  I went to Terry's school and started sparring and I can't seem to just get things clicking like they use too and after 2 years training a green belt was giving it to me pretty good.  I felt like an idiot and like things aren't going how they should be. Stuff that should be easy now take a minute.


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## lenatoi (Aug 8, 2006)

The most important thing I've (tried) learned in these situations is just to relax. I understand. when your arround all the big boys and everyone is better than you, you freeze up. Learn to say "so what." so they know more than you, so they can think of something big and flashy. Who cares. Do your basics, and don't break down in tears. (personal exp.:waah 

Just because someone knows more than you doesn't mean they're better.


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## Xue Sheng (Aug 8, 2006)

lenatoi said:
			
		

> The most important thing I've (tried) learned in these situations is just to relax.


 
Relaxation is the key.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 8, 2006)

Thanks everyone. I'm not crier, I do tense up and show some frustration. I just feel....inadequate. Like I _should _be getting this. I _should _be able to perform some techniques spontaneously, but I just can't. I would probably be less frustrated if I were a complete beginner. But after having had at least some training, and good training that taught application, I shouldn't be so green. I don't think it's a matter of being a little rusty, though I am, because I struggled with the same thing in my prior training. And I'm not a wimpy girl. I'm not afraid to hit. My mind just blanks. It's like I can't make the connection to _apply _techniques without great concentration and it's turning into an issue for me personally. 

I don't think I would have felt quite so inadequate if I wasn't seeing people with a lot _less_ training than I have had applying techniques like they've been doing it for years. Sheesh. 

I'm going to practice now. I'm going to try running through the entire class format and see if I can get some of this stuff into muscle memory faster and work on really thinking about applications as I do.

:asian:


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## clfsean (Aug 8, 2006)

1) relax
2) basics
3) relax
4) basics

repeat as necessary as needed


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## Kensai (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade Tigress said:
			
		

> Thanks everyone. I'm not crier, I do tense up and show some frustration. I just feel....inadequate. Like I _should _be getting this. I _should _be able to perform some techniques spontaneously, but I just can't. I would probably be less frustrated if I were a complete beginner. But after having had at least some training, and good training that taught application, I shouldn't be so green. I don't think it's a matter of being a little rusty, though I am, because I struggled with the same thing in my prior training. And I'm not a wimpy girl. I'm not afraid to hit. My mind just blanks. It's like I can't make the connection to _apply _techniques without great concentration and it's turning into an issue for me personally.
> 
> I don't think I would have felt quite so inadequate if I wasn't seeing people with a lot _less_ training than I have had applying techniques like they've been doing it for years. Sheesh.
> 
> ...


 
Hello you,  I think part of the problem is you. Or me. As I often feel the same way. As mentioned already, it is part of the process. The important thing to do is realise this. The next time it happens, i.e when you feel inadequate during a class, I want you to smile. A big cheesy grin if you can manage it. Stop whatever you're doing (unless of course you're in the middle of a block!!  ) and RELAX! Take a deep breath, calm yourself mentally, and also tell yourself "why should I know it all, 2 years is a lot less than a lifetime it takes to perfect an art" or words to that effect. Have a quick run through the move/technique, then start practising it slow time for a bit. The slower the move, the better to begin with. In my view anyway. 

As importantly, go easy on yourself. It's easy to berate yourself for not knowing everything, or as much as you think you should, but it's much harder to congratulate yourself for something you've done well. You probably don't even notice the things you do well. It's all up here ------>  in the mind. 

Train hard... but make it fun too. I hate people that take it all so SERIOUUUSSLLLLYYY... With a big  :miffer: face all the time. Keep the training based on reality, but as XZ said. Relax. 

Just me tuppence. 

Kensai


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## MA-Caver (Aug 8, 2006)

... (leans over and nudges Ceicei... discreetly signing) ... inadequacy she's feeling... and this is from a lady who has a '06 Mustang and she's feeling inadequate. 

From my understanding you're starting a different type of Kung Fu... naturally you're gonna be stiff with it til it starts to flow... like water ( :wink1: ). 
I can imagine most MA-ist go through this period at one time or another. Keep training irregardless and suddenly everything will click (that's your joints making that sound ...) and you'll start being smooth and back to where you were. 

If that doesn't work try Professor Lupin's cure-all... *CHOCOLATE!* :uhyeah: < it works for Ceicei >


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## Ceicei (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade, 

If you want to :whip: or :btg: MA-Caver, you have my full permission to do so!  I'll be happy to join you....

- Ceicei


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## pstarr (Aug 8, 2006)

"Relax" means that you must not only relax your body, but relax your mind as well.  Practicing to relax your mind is very important.  Chan (meditation) is an excellent way to learn to do this.  

It may also be that you've hit a "plateau" - no one seems to know WHY they happen; they just do.  Everything you do is wrong - everything you touch turns to **** and nothing works.  What's going on inside is that your mind (and body) are figuratively "digesting" new material...until they get it fully digested, they won't let you do anything...

Then one day, Boom!  You're actually better than before!  And it seems that there's no rhyme nor reason to it.  

But beware the plateau.  It's caused many a fine student to give up.  Just hang on.

     But like I said, I don't know if that's what's causing the problem.  But certainly, you need to relax your mind and spirit.


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## Ceicei (Aug 8, 2006)

pstarr said:
			
		

> It may also be that you've hit a "plateau" - no one seems to know WHY they happen; they just do. Everything you do is wrong - everything you touch turns to **** and nothing works. What's going on inside is that your mind (and body) are figuratively "digesting" new material...until they get it fully digested, they won't let you do anything...
> 
> Then one day, Boom!  You're actually better than before!  And it seems that there's no rhyme nor reason to it.
> 
> ...



I will have to agree with pstarr.

Plateaus can happen even with switching to a new style so recently.  Just work it through....  and it will eventually pass.  My last plateau lasted for a long time (a few months) that I had started to wonder and question my decisions.  When it finally passed, I was so glad I had stuck through this.  I actually got better afterwards.  Perhaps it is a way of the body/mind taking a break of a sort (and many of us are so addicted to MA that we sometimes don't give ourselves a needed break).

- Ceicei


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## Bigshadow (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade Tigress said:
			
		

> You know, I feel so inadequate in training sometimes.


I noticed you said "Sometimes".  I suppose it is relatively safe to assume that other times you don't feel this way?  I  would venture to that maybe you are pushing the edge of your comfort zone.  Maybe learning something new?  A new way of moving (even if it is something familiar, but it feels different).  I get like that every so often and if I reflect back on previous times, it usually has to do with learning something new.

Rather than let it get you down, realize that maybe that is indication there is some area you need to be working on.  Don't worry about the newer students "appearing" to get it.  I am sure they are struggling in other places where you don't give it a second thought.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 8, 2006)

pstarr said:
			
		

> "Relax" means that you must not only relax your body, but relax your mind as well.  Practicing to relax your mind is very important.  Chan (meditation) is an excellent way to learn to do this.
> 
> It may also be that you've hit a "plateau" - no one seems to know WHY they happen; they just do.  Everything you do is wrong - everything you touch turns to **** and nothing works.  What's going on inside is that your mind (and body) are figuratively "digesting" new material...until they get it fully digested, they won't let you do anything...
> 
> ...



Thank you. This is an interesting occurance I was unfamiliar with and it is very encouraging. And yes, I do need to relax my mind. I think I may be so busy thinking of what the right thing to do is that I can't do anything spontaneously.



			
				Ceicei said:
			
		

> I will have to agree with pstarr.
> 
> Plateaus can happen even with switching to a new style so recently. Just work it through.... and it will eventually pass. My last plateau lasted for a long time (a few months) that I had started to wonder and question my decisions. When it finally passed, I was so glad I had stuck through this. I actually got better afterwards. Perhaps it is a way of the body/mind taking a break of a sort (and many of us are so addicted to MA that we sometimes don't give ourselves a needed break).
> 
> - Ceicei


Thanks CC. Good to know I'm not alone. Oh, and MaCaver made me laugh with that post! 



			
				Bigshadow said:
			
		

> I noticed you said "Sometimes". I suppose it is relatively safe to assume that other times you don't feel this way? I would venture to that maybe you are pushing the edge of your comfort zone. Maybe learning something new? A new way of moving (even if it is something familiar, but it feels different). I get like that every so often and if I reflect back on previous times, it usually has to do with learning something new.
> 
> Rather than let it get you down, realize that maybe that is indication there is some area you need to be working on. Don't worry about the newer students "appearing" to get it. I am sure they are struggling in other places where you don't give it a second thought.


You are correct about the "sometimes", also I probably actually meant somethings. See, I had this problem even before switching schools. I can learn other things at a reasonable rate. It's just the application of what I'm learning that I blank on when faced with a punch or something.  Someone will punch, even slowly, and I'm doing like this stupid useless block, leaving myself open and zero follow-up. And it's like, what good is it if I can do a form well and know the application of the form or technique, if I can't do it when it's needed? That's where I start feeling inadequate in my training. Like I'm dropping the ball and everything that I'm learning and is supposed to serve my self-defense is lost inside somewhere and it can't find it's way out! lol

And just for the record everyone... I'm not a quitter. It it just not an option for me. When I put I mind to something I do it with gusto.  It makes me try harder, but then I get frustrated that all my efforts seem to be fruitless...but I wll forge on! So no worries therre. 

I just got done going over as much of the class format as I can remember at this point. I will do the same tomorrow as I have class tomorrow night. 

I'm thinking about replacing my normal exercise routine with my class format as I don't have the time to do both. Since I just had about a 3 month break due to the move and finding my new school, I don't think that's the issue.


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## East Winds (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade Tigress,

Coach Christopher Pei says, "When you are climbing the mountain, don't look up and see how far you have to go. Look down and see how far you have come".

Good advice in these situations, which incidentally we all get. I've just come through one and that's after 16 years of training.

Very best wishes

Alistair Sutherland


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## 7starmantis (Aug 8, 2006)

There has been some great advice so far on this thread. I dont know what else I can contribute, but know that the plateau effect does happen to everyone. Also, I was going to say basically what Kensai said. Get someone you trust and go slow. I mean very slow. I mean so slow its almost funny. Relas like everyone said and just feel what could come next. Spontaneous drills can be hard, get a very basic drill and do it slow....then speed it up just a bit. Then start changing it and being spontaneous while going slow. If you haven't picked up yetm I think going slow is a big issue. You have to go slow in order to get your body used to feeling their center and which way they are pushing....then after you get some of these down you can do more spontaneous drills.

Oh, and dont be so quick to judge how well others are doing, they may be feeling the same way you are. Also, speed and "looking good" doesn't equate to proper or effective technique. 

7sm


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## pstarr (Aug 8, 2006)

East Winds - nice advice from Mr. Pei!  It IS good to look back every now and then instead of always focusing forward...

     People often worry so much about relaxing their bodies that they create mental (and even spiritual) "tension" which then causes the body to tighten up or "stutter" - usually at the worst possible moment.

     Relax everything.  Don't fix your mind on the technique or the opponent.  It's like trying to see a mountain when you're focusing your eyes on one small aspect of it, like a clump of trees or rock formations.

Let the mountain look at you.  Then you can see it all.  Before practice, blow the dust off your mirror (mind) with your breath so that it will reflect everything instantly and accurately.

Your body knows what to do.  Let it.


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## Kacey (Aug 8, 2006)

Jade Tigress said:
			
		

> You know, I feel so inadequate in training sometimes. Mostly when it comes to application. I have had a little over 2 years training, and I cannot apply anything worth a crap. It's not that I'm not taught application, it's just that my mind kind of freezes and I can't remember what to do, or to be spontaneous, or in the least bit effective.
> 
> I still need to be told how to apply things and I feel stupid and inadequate in my training. Last night we did an application drill and I felt like a total moron. There were guys in class that had like 5 months of training and were kicking ***...and here I am like an idiot, duh...what do I do?
> 
> Anyway, I get discouraged by my lack of "getting it" after all this time. WHY DON'T I GET IT?????



Um... not to make things worse... but I've been in TKD 19 years, and *I* still get that "WHY DON'T I GET IT????" feeling on occasion.

Here's what I tell my students:  

- whatever you know now, it's more than 99% of the population
- if it was easy, anyone could, and would, be doing it - and you're still here

A couple of other thoughts:

- there is always something else to learn/understand about any technique; there is no "finished"
- you're on a journey, relax and enjoy the ride; the destination will take care of itself.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 9, 2006)

Thank you so much for all the GREAT advice and encouragement everyone. I am going to practice at home again today and I have class tonight.


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## TonyMac (Aug 11, 2006)

JT, try internal visualization with intent. Develop a sense of enemy in your training.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 11, 2006)

TonyMac said:
			
		

> JT, try internal visualization with intent. Develop a sense of enemy in your training.




I like that that. Thank you, I will.


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## Blotan Hunka (Aug 11, 2006)

Not intending to open a can of worms but here I go.

Perhaps if you want to be able to fight, the style you are studying isnt sufficient. When it comes to fighting not all "arts" are created equal.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 11, 2006)

Blotan Hunka said:
			
		

> Not intending to open a can of worms but here I go.
> 
> Perhaps if you want to be able to fight, the style you are studying isnt sufficient. When it comes to fighting not all "arts" are created equal.




No that's not it at all. The applications are very effective...my mind just goes blank on spontaneous application drills. Re-read the post.


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## Xue Sheng (Aug 11, 2006)

Blotan Hunka said:
			
		

> Not intending to open a can of worms but here I go.
> 
> Perhaps if you want to be able to fight, the style you are studying isnt sufficient. When it comes to fighting not all "arts" are created equal.


 
I know the style Jade is training and I can tell you from (painful) experience it is very good at fighting.



			
				Jade Tigress said:
			
		

> No that's not it at all. The applications are very effective...my mind just goes blank on spontaneous application drills. Re-read the post.


 
Things take time, even if you have previous experience in another CMA form or for that matter the same CMA form. The approach to fighting can be different from form to form and teacher to teacher.

One of these days I will post my recent Yang style experience as it applies to teachers... now that was a very frustrating yet liberating situation... Pushed me right back into Chen it did.


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## Xue Sheng (Aug 11, 2006)

Correction in my previous thread, replace form with style.

*Correction:* Things take time, even if you have previous experience in another CMA *style* or for that matter the same CMA *style*. The approach to fighting can be different from *style* to *style* and teacher to teacher.

Sorry about the error


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## pirate wyatt (Aug 15, 2006)

The best advice on this ive ever heard was from one of my old football coachs "dont think do ill repeat that just to let you know how important it is, dont think do.  I dont care if you mess up but if you do i want to see you mess up at a million miles an hour"

Thinking back on a few of my boxing matches i never thought to myself "oh now would be a good time to throw in a jab" you just have to kinda loose control and not think about what your doing.

I dont know but maybe your worrying to much about "applying" let your instincts take over it makes your body do things much faster.


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 16, 2006)

pirate wyatt said:
			
		

> I dont know but maybe your worrying to much about "applying" let your instincts take over it makes your body do things much faster.



Well, that's exactly what happens, my problem is that when I let my instincts take over I end up responding with some dumb, ineffective action, rather than an effective technique I've been training. 

Another thing I realized the other night in class, was that I am learning some new techniques and feel that's what I have to use in the drill. I am supposed to be learning the new technique...so I refrain from using a technique I trained for against a similar attack. And again, when faced with needing a quick action I spaz...lol. 

I just feel like I should be able to demonstrate more skill considering I have some experience. 

I appreciate all the feedback and it has all been very helpful. I feel better about it and will just keep trying my best until I succeed. At which point..I will move on!


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## 7starmantis (Aug 16, 2006)

One thing I want to say about the instinct thing is that kung fu is not natural. You have to train your body to react in certain ways to certain stimulus. Just letting your body react is great, but when training, when trying to learn kung fu, especially mantis, you need to slow down and learn the movements and let them become natural before you will be able to react and be able to pull off the techniques. So, while letting your body react is good advice, when learning new things that can't be done, you will have to go slow and learn every little piece of the tehcnique, every movement and such.

just my 3 cents,
 7sm


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## Jade Tigress (Aug 24, 2006)

7starmantis said:
			
		

> One thing I want to say about the instinct thing is that kung fu is not natural. You have to train your body to react in certain ways to certain stimulus. Just letting your body react is great, but when training, when trying to learn kung fu, especially mantis, you need to slow down and learn the movements and let them become natural before you will be able to react and be able to pull off the techniques. So, while letting your body react is good advice, when learning new things that can't be done, you will have to go slow and learn every little piece of the tehcnique, every movement and such.
> 
> just my 3 cents,
> 7sm


That is so true, I'm glad you brought that up.

Here's an interesting caveat...at class on Monday we were doing some application drills again and I was working with a younger guy, maybe 15 or so, who only started a few months before me and one of those whom last time I was thinking "look how well he does this already"...well, he says to me, "You do this so much better than me" LOL! I guess perspective has a lot to do with it too! HAHA! 

I am seeing improvement, slowly but surely..


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## Kensai (Aug 24, 2006)

You think YOU'RE inadequate? Mate, you've got nothing on me. I've just picked my car up from having it serviced. I raced back to my office during lunch having picked it up, around 3 to 4 miles or so. Thought I'd left my baby bag with all of my personal belongings (for when my daughter's born) at the garage. Raced back there, only to be told it wasn't there, I "must have left it in the taxi" on the way there. Raced back into the city centre taking a wrong turn down a one way street with cars coming at me. Found the taxi driver that took me, he maintained he'd seen nothing, but kindly gave me the address of the next person he'd taken after me, so I zoomed off another several miles to knock on their door to be told they'd not seen it. I came back to my desk, resigned to the fact that I'd lost it, all my personal details etc... It was at my desk all along. I'd never taken it.  

At the moment, I'm in the middle of a house sale, I'm (well my mrs is - but by default so am I) 8+ months pregnant, and studying in my spare time, and have a job interview next week... and am arranging a wedding. Think I'm doing too much....? I'm feeling kinda inadequate myself.


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## Xue Sheng (Aug 24, 2006)

Kensai said:
			
		

> You think YOU'RE inadequate? Mate, you've got nothing on me. I've just picked my car up from having it serviced. I raced back to my office during lunch having picked it up, around 3 to 4 miles or so. Thought I'd left my baby bag with all of my personal belongings (for when my daughter's born) at the garage. Raced back there, only to be told it wasn't there, I "must have left it in the taxi" on the way there. Raced back into the city centre taking a wrong turn down a one way street with cars coming at me. Found the taxi driver that took me, he maintained he'd seen nothing, but kindly gave me the address of the next person he'd taken after me, so I zoomed off another several miles to knock on their door to be told they'd not seen it. I came back to my desk, resigned to the fact that I'd lost it, all my personal details etc... It was at my desk all along. I'd never taken it.
> 
> At the moment, I'm in the middle of a house sale, I'm (well my mrs is - but by default so am I) 8+ months pregnant, and studying in my spare time, and have a job interview next week... and am arranging a wedding. Think I'm doing too much....? I'm feeling kinda inadequate myself.


 
DAMN!!!!

And I thought I was busy.


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## Kensai (Aug 24, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> DAMN!!!!
> 
> And I thought I was busy.


 
Can I have a hug? Group hug for Kensai? A big martial hug? Man I feel spaced. :boing2:


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## Kensai (Aug 24, 2006)

I don't see anyone rushing to hug the Kensai. Ok, I'll settle for a pint. Guinness please. :drinkbeer 

Back on topic. (Sorry)...


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