# Thermodynamics of Hell



## Baytor (Aug 19, 2004)

_I thought this would be a good time to post this, with the conversation about us all going to hell for being martial artists...._


The following is an actual exam question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law (Gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed.) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate that they are leaving."

"I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving."

"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most souls go to Hell."

"With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially." "Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, then

Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added." This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having that event take place, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only 'A' in the class


----------



## OUMoose (Aug 19, 2004)

Aye, I've heard that...  *chuckle*

I like the one about the philosophy teacher administering his final.  He simply walked in the room, grabbed some chalk, and wrote one question on the board:

"What is Courage"

Most of the students started scribbling furiously save one.  He looked at the board, wrote something down quickly and handed his paper in.  His answer?

"This is."

He was also the only one to receive an 'A'.


----------



## JPR (Aug 19, 2004)

Thus proving the point, actions speak louder than words.


----------



## KenpoTex (Aug 20, 2004)

gotta love the B.S. artists...takes me back to my term-paper days


----------



## bignick (Aug 20, 2004)

that takes me back too...

i used to be on the speech team...me and best friend joined because we were really bored...my friend used to work as a telemarketer...right before he quit the team we were at a speech meet...the first thing he did was walk to a garbage can and throw away his speech...the whole day he did his sales pitch from his telemarketing job...

"Hello, this is Ben and i'm calling on behalf of..."


----------

