# Monarch of the Mountain



## Andrew Green (Apr 24, 2006)

Here's a little game, I start, so I am on the top of the mountain. Next person has to find a way (be creative) to push me off the mountain, and the person bellow them pushes them and so on.

You can't push yourself, you have to say how you pushed the person above you, and whoever gets post #250 in this thread wins


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## Lisa (Apr 24, 2006)

Lisa flings fish at the penguin master and as he tries to jump and catch them he slips tumbling down the hill.

Lisa is now the King of the mountain... muaahahahahahaha


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## Flying Crane (Apr 24, 2006)

Flying Crane throws a dog biscuit down the mountain, and Lisa's ferocious poodle bounces after it, dragging Lisa behind him.

I am Monarch of the Mountain!!


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## Lisa (Apr 24, 2006)

Lisa recovers quickly.  Slaps a ham sausage on Flying Crane's butt sending Mr. Chew after him while he screams down the mountain with a poodle on his butt.

I am Monarch of the Mountain! muahahahahaha!


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## Flying Crane (Apr 24, 2006)

yeah, well, I slap the pooch off my butt, flap my wings and fly up over Lisa's head and cut loose with a torrent of bird poop right on lisa's picknick lunch.  She is soo revolted and mentally unbalanced by the experience that she wanders off in a gibbering daze, until she lies down under a rocky overhang and falls asleep.  Hours later she awakens under the light of the full moon.  Still disoriented from the afternoon trauma, she gets up, takes six steps in the wrong direction and slips right off the edge of a cliff.  

My work is done.  I  settle upon the crown of the hill, the reigning Monarch.


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## Flatlander (Apr 24, 2006)

Flatlander parachutes in, dropping flaming chickens to clear a landing space.  Flying Crane, wisely, recovers to a lower altitude.

Flatlander quickly builds a stone wall around the top.....


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## Makalakumu (Apr 24, 2006)

upnorthkyosa lurks on the edges of the melee for a while...observing...like a good drow.


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## elder999 (Apr 24, 2006)

el Brujo de la Cueva sets off a 30 kiloton nuclear charge on the mountain,takes out Flatlander's stone emplacement, upnothkyosa's lurking butt, singes Lisa's poodle fur, chars Flying Crane's wings, and reduces the mountain to rubble.

I'm Monarch of a pile of rocks.artyon:


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## Lisa (Apr 24, 2006)

Lisa picks up one of the rocks.  Flings it at elder999 (cause the other name is too damn long) pinging him in the side of the head sending him flying backwards where he lands unconscious.

Lisa mutters to herself as she starts to pile the rocks to make a mountain "damn boys always spoil everything, look what they did to my pretty mountain" grumble grumble grumble....

Rebuilds the mountain.  Sits down with Mr. Chew... ahh..peace.


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## Flying Crane (Apr 25, 2006)

Flying Crane settles at the foot of the mountain.  Reaching down and grabbing hold of the mountain by the roots, he picks it up, tips it upside down and gives it a good shake to rid it of its Lisa infestation.  

Placing the mountain back on the ground, Flying Crane soars to the peak and overlooks his vast landholdings.


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## Andrew Green (Apr 25, 2006)

Andrew borrows a jumbo jet, makes a low fly by sucking Crane into the engine, parachutes to the top


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## HKphooey (Apr 25, 2006)

HKphooey takes a large fan (large generator with me for power) an fills Andrew's chute back up with air pulling him back into the air, where is own jet (which was on auto pilot) runs him down.


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## elder999 (Apr 25, 2006)

elder999 uses Judge Doom's 'toon eraser from _Who Framed Roger Rabbit,_ in an Indian pump, deconstitutes Hong-Kong Phooey....steps lithely to top of reconstituted mountain......


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## shesulsa (Apr 25, 2006)

Shesulsa hikes up the old fashioned way, rips the 'toon eraser from El Brujo's hands, crumples it up like a piece of paper, socks him an old-fashioned good one to the jaw which knocks him into next week, draws sword, crouches behind shield and awaits attack.


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## Flying Crane (Apr 25, 2006)

Shesulsa never sees the attack coming, as Flying Crane swoops in from behind, and pecks her in the back of the head with his beak.  He gives her body the heave-ho over the edge and dares all comers.


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## Lisa (Apr 25, 2006)

Lisa jumps from behind a rock, plucks out cranes flight feather, hoofs him one in the jewels and sends him hurdling down the mountain


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## shesulsa (Apr 25, 2006)

Shesulsa takes Lisa, chokes her till her razor sharp teeth bare and slingshots her at Crane's twins.


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## Flying Crane (Apr 25, 2006)

Crane nimbley sidesteps a rapidly accelerating poodle (where the hell did THAT come from??!!) and takes stock of the situation.  He settles in a sheltered cove on the side of the mountain, to brood and plan....


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## shesulsa (Apr 25, 2006)

Meditates and remote-views Crane's thoughts .... :ultracool


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## Ceicei (Apr 25, 2006)

I slink near the mountain, observing all things that happened, then discovered a cave.  I rappel inside, and while inside, slowly drill a hole right under Shesulsa.  I stand out of the way while her weight crashes down and she's sucked into the deep caverns of the earth.  I climb out with my ropes, cover the hole, and sing,

"I'm king of all that I see...."

- Ceicei


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## HKphooey (Apr 25, 2006)

I take Lisa's poodle and load my puddle cannon.  I aim it at CeiCei.  Unfortunately my aim is off and i hity Flying Crane who is swooping down for his attack.  Fortunately he flies into CeiCei knocking her off the mountain (Crane gets tangle in her climbing ropes and falls with her).  I jump in my HK car with spot and drive up the mountain.


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## Lisa (Apr 25, 2006)

Mr. Chew is not impressed with being used in your evil plan.  Pushes a large rock down the mountain crushing HKPhooey.

Lisa reigns once again.


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## Ceicei (Apr 25, 2006)

I disengage myself and Crane from the ropes, give him the :btg: , then lasso Lisa off.  I charge up there to regain my throne!


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## OnlyAnEgg (Apr 25, 2006)

I hide off the side of the mountain and go 'Soo-EEE! SooEE!' and Ceicei  goes charging off in search of the caller and I assume my Rightful Throne as 
Monarch Of The Mountain!!!!​


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## Ceicei (Apr 25, 2006)

Realizing I've been led astray, I make a quick U-turn and charge back, ramming into Egg, and cracking him into pieces.  Sorry Humpty!  I settle down to enjoy my seat with scrambled Egg by my side.


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## OnlyAnEgg (Apr 25, 2006)

Using the sharp shards of my shell, I turn on Ceicei and, dispatching her, I sit upon my throne, enjoying a rasher of bacon, as
Monarch Of The Mountain​


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## Sam (Apr 25, 2006)

My little shop of horrors sidekick smells the bacon, and to avoid being eaten, I take my avatar up the mountain and let it eat the bacon, and the egg which was previously eating the bacon.

My avatar is now king of the mountain!


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## Lisa (Apr 25, 2006)

Lisa sneaks up behind Sam, spraying her with herbicide, she withers and dies

I am monarch of the mountain!


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## Sam (Apr 25, 2006)

I leave my avatar for dead and vow to buy a new one, when I notice Lisa's custom user title.

I rally the trolls which Lisa has been so annoyingly pecking and promise to share my monarch-ness with them in exchange for help.

Sam and her army of cut ladden trolls (thanks to lisa's pecking) bury Lisa in a hole.

I am now the goddess of the mountain.


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## Ping898 (Apr 25, 2006)

The sun rises to a new day and the trolls all turn to stone at first light, I then push a surpised Sam tumbling down the mountain and sit and enjoy my new throne.  I am the Monarch of the Mountain


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## elder999 (Apr 25, 2006)

el brujo de la Cueva uses counter-rotating superstring projector to transport Ping , all others and sundry to alternate dimension where the mountain does not exist-I am monarch once more of the mountain, here in this dimension, for a little while, anyway.......


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## Andrew Green (Apr 25, 2006)

Andrew goes with the Donkey Kong style hammer, sending Elder to the bottom complete with PC speaker death noises.


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## shesulsa (Apr 25, 2006)

Shesulsa emerges from the hole in the top of the mountain wearing the only nuclear-proof suit with SCBA with a remote control with two buttons on it. Shesulsa presses the first button which effects an EMF charge taking out all electronic devices and emitting a biomagnetic pulse which neutralizes all attacks.  Shesulsa presses the second button which evaporates all others within a 200 mile radius.  

I, my friends, am the Monarch of the Mountain.


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## Flatlander (Apr 25, 2006)

Flatlander runs up the side of the mountain, bringing Shesulsa muffins.  He offers her the box, being certain to avert his eyes.

Flatlander then backs down, crouching, from whence he came.


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## shesulsa (Apr 25, 2006)

Flatlander said:
			
		

> Flatlander runs up the side of the mountain, bringing Shesulsa muffins.  He offers her the box, being certain to avert his eyes.
> 
> Flatlander then backs down, crouching, from whence he came.



I caught you munchin' my muffins on the way up here. My girl will call you for an appointment.


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## Ceicei (Apr 25, 2006)

Radiation from Shesulsa's efforts revive this rack of bacon.  I slowly rebuild myself, atom by atom.   Soon, I have gained incredible strength and increase to 50 feet high.  I flatten Flatlander under my feet and punt Shesulsa into the next galazy.  I claim myself....
Monarch of this hill!!!​


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## Cryozombie (Apr 25, 2006)

Ceicei said:
			
		

> Radiation from Shesulsa's efforts revive this rack of bacon. I slowly rebuild myself, atom by atom. Soon, I have gained incredible strength and increase to 50 feet high. I flatten Flatlander under my feet and punt Shesulsa into the next galazy. I claim myself....
> Monarch of this hill!!!​


 
Ceicei watches as shesulsa flies off the mountain, raises her head to proclaim herself Monarch and fails to notice the shadowy form that slips up behind her and breaks her neck... tossing the corpse off the top and, then, for good effect, pushes the trampled mess that was flatlander on top of her corpse... becoming the new Shogun of the Mountain, technopunk giggles like a little schoolgirl.

Tee hee, tee hee.


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## Lisa (Apr 25, 2006)

Technopunk said:
			
		

> Ceicei watches as shesulsa flies off the mountain, raises her head to proclaim herself Monarch and fails to notice the shadowy form that slips up behind her and breaks her neck... tossing the corpse off the top and, then, for good effect, pushes the trampled mess that was flatlander on top of her corpse... becoming the new Shogun of the Mountain, technopunk giggles like a little schoolgirl.
> 
> Tee hee, tee hee.



The crazy little school girl type ninja fails to see the sharpshooter laying in wait behind him.  He turns around and has just enough time to notice the laser on his chest.

Two soft tap sounds.  Techno is dead.

Lisa pushes his bloody body onto flatlander and ceicei's

I am the monarch of the mountain.


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## Ceicei (Apr 25, 2006)

Oh, the pain, the pain!  My neck isn't broken, fortunately.  I see buried in the ground, the climbing rope.  Steeped with bits of Flatlander and Techno corpses on me, I lost my power, going to a small quick four legged critter.  With the rope in my paws, I run up quickly, faster than an eye can blink, and tie Lisa up tightly with the rope.  I string her up on the lone tree and play pinata!

I reclaim my throne once more!!!


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## elder999 (Apr 25, 2006)

elder999 gathers large amounts of mountain laurel from the reconsituted mountain's side, places them in clear plastic bags with $100 bills, and leaves them in the sun for Ceicei and others  to find and open, whereupon the poison gas from the dried leaves completely incapacitates or kills them, and elder999 rolls their poisoned corpses and comatose, cyanotic bodies down slope, becoming, once more, monarch of the mountain.....


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## bluemtn (Apr 26, 2006)

Just when elder999 thought he was in the clear...  someone new comes in.  You didn't hear them at first-  they were moving so quietly, then *WHAM!!!!* You're hit from behind with a running tackle, claiming me, tkdgirl, the reigning champion and monarch of the mountain as you do somersaults all of the way down to the bottom!


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## Cryozombie (Apr 26, 2006)

Lisa failed to realize the #1 thing any kid learned from every sho kosugi movie in the 80's:

Only a Ninja can Kill a Ninja.

So I pick myself off, do a quick Kuji: Rin Pyo To Sha Ki Jin Retsu Zai Zen and the bullet holes disapear.

TKDGIRL is patroling the mountain top, when she notices a ball of rice.  "Mmm, she thinks, "I am hungry" and she gags on the poison rice ball.  As she falls to the ground I just laugh atop my mountain.


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## elder999 (Apr 26, 2006)

Technopunk is in full-on ninja mode, and forgets all about technical methods. elder999 constructs pulsed rF generator at 2.4Hz, directs focused pulsed waveformdirectly at Technopunks head, causing seizures-Technopunk rolls down hill while foaming at mouth, convulsing and wetting pants......elder999 reigns supreme once more as monarch of the mountain....


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## bushidomartialarts (Apr 26, 2006)

bushido martial arts begins a long, pedantic diatribe loaded with veiled threats, self-important rhetoric and internet forum bile.  soon, all other competitors have fallen asleep from boredom or gone off to cruise kenpotalk.com.

he then proclaims himself KING OF THE MOUNTAIN, even though nobody cares but him.


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## Ceicei (Apr 26, 2006)

I recover from elder999's poison.  All of bushidomartialarts' diabribes fall on deaf ears.  While he is all puffed up with hot air, I aim the snow-making machine at him and snow him under to a frozen death.  Soon the mountain is all covered with snow.  I strap on my snow-shoes and climb up, claiming myself:

Monarch of Snow Mountain!!!!​


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## bushidomartialarts (Apr 27, 2006)

being full of hot air, i easily melt the snow mountain with a single exhalation.  all are washed away in the resulting flash flood as i waft gently above the carnage much like pompom on homestarrunner.  

lightly i set foot down on the empty mountaintop.

i am the king of the mountain.


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## elder999 (Apr 27, 2006)

elder999 purchases pure teflon on e-Bay, and launches it in  rocket with incediary charge-burning teflon results in heavier-than-air poison gas, descending on mountaintop and down mountain-sides, killing all within it's path almost instantly, and quite painfully. Wearing gas-mask and level A hazmat suit, elder999 ascends to mountaintop to reign, once again, as monarch of the mountain.


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## Ceicei (Apr 27, 2006)

I take the antidote for the poison and recover.  I muse. "He really likes poison."  He needs a taste of his own.   I plot a way to take revenge.  I bring up a small nuclear missle full of the right kind of uranium.  It is a miniature of the atomic bomb as a missle.  I send it chasing after elder999 and it strikes upon impact with him, ripping his hazmat suit and mask, and elder999 dies from radiation sickness.  After the wind blows the majority of the radiation away, I stride up, made strong from my antidote, and proclaim, "I am

MONARCH OF THIS MOUNTAIN

MINE FOREVERMORE!!"​


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## elder999 (Apr 27, 2006)

Ceicei said:
			
		

> I take the antidote for the poison and recover. I muse. "He really likes poison."


 
Nah, just one of those unfortunate areas of expertise that I thought I'd have some fun with. 

There is, btw, no antidote for the poison  released from the oxidation of _pure_ teflon, which is, naturally, a controlled substance, though it can, oddly, sometimes be obtained on e-Bay-a point of much discussion for me of late. The poison is, in fact, a toxin of extreme lethality, say, a 100% fatality at 80 ppm. 

Overheating of PTFE generates fumes of highly toxic PFIB and poses a serious health hazard to the human respiratory tract. PFIB is approximately ten times as toxic as phosgene . Inhalation of this gas can cause pulmonary edema, which can lead to death. PFIB is included in Schedule 2 of the Chemical Weapons Convention (CWC), as a result of the prompting by one delegation to the Conference on Disarmament. 

Most Teflon is treated to stabilize the PFIB, in case momma leaves a pan on the stove too long-though, oddly, non-stick pans are toxic to birds when burned. This stuff isn&#8217;t treated, though, and with a density of 0.15 g/cc,and its relatively low median lethal toxicity of between 5 and 350 ppm, depending on length of exposure, a  stick of PTFE could produce enough PFIB to potentially kill a large theater full of people, say on the order of 10,000. You could buy it retail, or wholesale, but eBay is potentially anonymous-and most often cheaper.

Relax, though. While the burning of Teflon might be undetectable, it would require engineering a rather special set of circumstances to use it this way-you can&#8217;t just buy it and burn it, and you couldn&#8217;t readily ascertain how to do so through any commonly available sources&#8230;.I think.

The fact is, one can obtain a variety of uncontrolled, untraceable materials with a minimum of knowledge, and fashion a variety of extremely lethal WMDs-though thermite, toluene and a variety of other chemicals don&#8217;t fall into this category, and Teflon disguises it&#8230;..as do many pesticides. 

It would take alittle less than a pound of teflon to kill everyone in the Pontiac Silverdome.......

On the other hand, if I, long relatively immune to the hazards of radiation and uranium, due to career long exposure, and only appearing to be dead whilst plotting and recovering,were to take common pool chlorine and brake fluid, and mix them, they would spontaneously combust in an  explosive release of burning  poisonous gas, wiping ceicei from the side of the mountain in flames, suffocating from severely damaged lungs with supperating sores-well, I'd be monarch of the mountain, wouldn't I?

Instead,though, I just pop up and scare her, 'cause she thought I was dead, and shove her off while she's standing there in shock-I'm monarch once more......


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## Ceicei (Apr 27, 2006)

I'm definitely shocked!  I tumble down into a hole underground, and meet my two buddies, the green and black dragons.  I whistle softly in code, and they fly out, quickly grabbing elder999.  They fly in opposite directions, ripping him apart with agonizing pain.  I wave to my dragons in thanks, and reclaim my throne!


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## bushidomartialarts (Apr 28, 2006)

dragons?  we're using dragons?

well, then, i roll 3d20 and teleport the whole damn mountain to a pocket dimension where every living being worships me as a god.  they proclaim me king of the mountain in a festival of bloody revelry that would make a drunk aztec wince.


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## Hand Sword (Apr 28, 2006)

I, having Sauron's ring of power on, being invisible, attempting to steal the dragons treasure below, am transported with the mountain. Everyone being very drunk passes out. I Hand Sword cut  BushidoMartialarts and the rest of the bodies down, and roll them off the mountain. Leaving me King of the mountain!


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## someguy (Apr 28, 2006)

While bushidomartialarts in variably rolls for a saving throw I the magnificent great umm other nice sounding words for my title (but not fluffy) Someguy appear with a giant stick and chase them all away (all while hoping they don't remember they can probably beat me down).  
I am the the magnificent great and umm stuff Monarch of the Mountain


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## kid (Apr 28, 2006)

Since nobody is watchingwhat is happening off of the mountain I manage to build a bigger and better in every way mountain next to the old tiny one that people are fighting over.  Chuck Norris and I watch from my mountain peak as we sip on gin and juice.


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## Makalakumu (Apr 28, 2006)

kid said:
			
		

> Since nobody is watchingwhat is happening off of the mountain I manage to build a bigger and better in every way mountain next to the old tiny one that people are fighting over. Chuck Norris and I watch from my mountain peak as we sip on gin and juice.


 
Chuck takes a sip from his glass and roundhouse kicks your *** so hard that you fly into one of the tiny curled up string theory dimensions.  Chuck then moves over and upnorthkyosa appears on your new psuedomountain.  Chuck takes one look at my +10 vorpal flame tongue holy avenging foot of slaying, puts up his hands and walks off the mountain.  Thor comes down from the heavens and names my leg Mjolnir 2.0 and I promptly bust out a round house kick that Nighogg feels at the base of Yggsdrasil.  The World Serpent shivers in fear and the entire world quakes at my presence.


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## elder999 (Apr 28, 2006)

elder999 releases 5  specially trained peregrine falcons, which pick up unorthkyosa's lightweight and gently deposit him at the foot of the next mountain over....I am monarch of the mountain....


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## kid (May 1, 2006)

Betrayed, by  my own brother and Chuck Norris.  Not cool.  I instant transmission back to MY mountain, blast a spirit bomb at upnorthkyosa, point my finger at elder999 and say bang, he wets himself and throws himself off My mountain in sheer terror of my Awsomeness, and rugged good looks.  I fly over to the top of the mountain and turn too look at my destruction of upnorthkyosa, a huge crater is now where he and the old mountain were.  I pear into the crater and see a black belt blowing in the dusty wind.  I turn and look where elder had thrown himself and there he is walking away in shame. I tilt my head to the side until my neck cracks and the mountain shivers.  Elder999 loses his balance and falls the rest of the way down never to be seen again.  I grab my cocktail and sit in my lawn chair as monarch of the mountain.


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## bushidomartialarts (May 1, 2006)

too bad the lawn chair is one of the cheap wal-mart versions.  it collapses under your weight and you fall to the ground, stunned and bruised minorly.

as you sprint for your lawyer's office, hoping to cash in with a lawsuit, i saunter to the craggy peak, for i am the king of the mountain.


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## kid (May 1, 2006)

bushidomartialarts said:
			
		

> too bad the lawn chair is one of the cheap wal-mart versions. it collapses under your weight and you fall to the ground, stunned and bruised minorly.
> 
> as you sprint for your lawyer's office, hoping to cash in with a lawsuit, i saunter to the craggy peak, for i am the king of the mountain.


 
A jedi cares not for these things.  As I come back to my mountain from defeating the Evil Empire, (wal-mart) I notice that someone has been inhabiting my mountain.  I walk up to bushidomartialarts and wave my open hand, palm facing him from right to left, and say this Mountain was never yours and now you will leave and never return.  He repeats this and walks away.  I walk over to a boulder and carve a solid chair out of it with my hands and feet, when I finish I sit and contemplate on making a Harem.


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## elder999 (May 1, 2006)

elder999 goes to Wal-Mart, purchases insecticide, paint thinner, 
anti-freeze, and Draino. Whips up noxious concoction that leaves the kid burned beyond recongnition, epileptic and *impotent*-so much for the harem. I take off my gas mask, chisel at  the stone throne to make it my own, and sit down, monarch of the mountain....


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## Makalakumu (May 1, 2006)

upnorthkyosa looks down at the crater his brother thinks he left him in and laughs.  "Spirit bombs harm me not, I am an agnostic nontheist and it turns out that my guess was correct."

upnorthkyosa then uses his chi to take control of HAARP.  The newly mind controlled slaves in Fairbanks Alaska bounce a massive EMP off of the ionosphere and onto Elder999.  Elder999's five "highly trained" falcons swoop down to feast on his well done corpse as I become king of the mountain.


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## kid (May 7, 2006)

I walk up the mountain and place all his fishing gear near him and tell him that I got him a babysitter for the weekend and that he needs to go fishing.  He walks off the mountain in pursuit of fish.  I reclaim my seat as monarch of the mountain.


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## someguy (May 9, 2006)

While all of this insanity is happening I rigg up the mountaun to blow(trust me it isn't easy) blow up the mountain.  And sit on the old one.  I'm the monarch of the old school mountain.


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## Lisa (May 9, 2006)

Yeah.  Whatever.

Walks up to someguy.  Kicks him in the...well you get it.  PMS abouding 

I once again  I RULE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


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## elder999 (May 9, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> Yeah. Whatever.
> 
> Walks up to someguy. Kicks him in the...well you get it. PMS abouding
> 
> I once again I RULE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


 

I visit the stereo store, pick up a few things, then visit the lab, pick up a few more things, then get my ham radio. I fabricate a 7 hertz sonic generator; I direct a 7 hertz signal at Lisa's head, and she falls down twitching-I roll her down the mountain to once again become monarch of the mountain....

*Bwahahaha-*and all that.......


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## crushing (May 9, 2006)

Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well.  Hey, where did elder999 go?  Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (May 9, 2006)

crushing said:
			
		

> Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well. Hey, where did elder999 go? Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.


 
Dang. You beat me to it.


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## elder999 (May 10, 2006)

crushing said:
			
		

> Oh man, that cabbage-n-egg salad sandwich with a side of chili isn't sitting well. Hey, where did elder999 go? Oh well, I'll just stay up here and air out a little while.


 
elder999 went to Hollywood, to buy one of those big wind machines, with which he blows crushing-and his fumes-away!

Oh, and:


			
				upnorthkyosa said:
			
		

> upnorthkyosa then uses his chi to take control of HAARP.



_There is no *HAARP*_, at least, not the HAARP you're looking for. Move along. Move along....he-he


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## Zepp (May 11, 2006)

At Zepp's signal, the alien mothership appears above elder999 and beams him aboard for a "probing party."  The ship then enters hyperspace and appears in it's home system in the far reaches of the galaxy.  Coincidentally, the ship's hyperdrive battery is exhausted, and needs to be recharged over a period of 100 years before the ship can return to the location of the mountain.

Zepp, looking quite regal, marches to the summit of mountain, plants his flag, and is now Arch-Supreme Overlord of the Mountain.


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## elder999 (May 11, 2006)

Zepp said:
			
		

> At Zepp's signal, the alien mothership appears above elder999 and beams him aboard for a "probing party." The ship then enters hyperspace and appears in it's home system in the far reaches of the galaxy. Coincidentally, the ship's hyperdrive battery is exhausted, and needs to be recharged over a period of 100 years before the ship can return to the location of the mountain.
> 
> Zepp, looking quite regal, marches to the summit of mountain, plants his flag, and is now Arch-Supreme Overlord of the Mountain.


 
Said "probing party" turns out to be elder999 impregnating alien females, who are all beautiful combinations of the genetic material of Tyra Banks, Angelina Jolie and Marilyn Monroe. elder999 does so well, aliens crown him king for all eternity, and wait to obey is every command. At his order, monumental project is launched to return to earth inn record time, as well as transport Zepp to planet of the grey's, where, instead of being gruesomely violated, he is caged with one of the Tyra Banks clones, forever.

elder999 bids his alien subjects adieu, and is once more, monarch of the mountain (as well as ruler of an entire planet-thanks, Zepp!)


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## someguy (May 12, 2006)

Someguy builds a giant sun blocking device...simpson have done that never mind...Ok ok how about...no wait simpsons have done that.Wait South Park did THIS...Umm ok plan C.SOmeguy goes streaking thus everyone runs away in terror.  I am Monarch of the naked mountain.


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## Zepp (May 13, 2006)

Having been rescued from the clutches of the Tyra Banks clone and brought back to Earth by his army of minions (stupid minions!) Zepp bravely approaches the unclothed Someguy (he's seen worse).  Pointing off in the distance, Zepp yells "Look!  It's a bright shiny object!"  Someguy frantically runs down the mountain in search of the fictional object, leaving Zepp standing unchallenged as Grand Pooba of the Mountain.


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## hong kong fooey (May 15, 2006)

Zepp is on the mountian all alone when HKF wlaks up behind him and throws a skunk on him causing him to get sprayed as he flls off the mountain. leaving HKF alone on the mountain


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## elder999 (May 23, 2006)

elder999 arrives with two quarts of  Corazon Anejo (that's some _fine!_ tequila....) and offers hong kong fooey the first of several shots. Rolls hong kong fooey's semi-comatose butt down the mountain, and staggers to to his place as monarch (hic!) of the mountain once more.....


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## someguy (May 26, 2006)

Someguy sings the tequlia song in such a horrible manner that elder999 leaves the mountain in disgust vowing to never drink it again.  Also to wear earplugs as soon as elder999's hearing returns.  
We the great Someguy the sit around taking shots after removiong our royal ear plugs.  
Ah it's good to be the king...of The Mountain.


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## Lisa (Jun 4, 2006)

It has been 9 days and someguy has become sloppy and weak putting his guard down.

Lisa walks up quietly behind him and simply pushes him, rolling him down the mountain.

Simplicity rules.

I am now, once again, Monarch of the Mountain.


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## Kembudo-Kai Kempoka (Jun 4, 2006)

Boy, ar my dogs barkin'. Think I'll take off my shoes...the same polysynthetic baca bucci knock-offs I've been wearing for 3 weeks straight, over these crappy, on-sale nylon socks from the 99-cent store...that I put on just after I noticed the oncoming outbreak of dermatophytosis and athletes foot...right before this really bad heat wave we're having.

AAAHHhhhhhh....a first fresh breeze on my stifled feet. Hmm. I wonder what happened to that little white poodle that was here a second ago. I thought it might enjoy licking my feet. I sure woulda enjoyed the little doggy foot massage.  Ah well. Think I'll just go stretch out on this oversized decorative chair over there and catch a few Z's...let my feet air out a bit.


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## bluemtn (Jun 4, 2006)

Kembudo-Kai Kempoka said:
			
		

> AAAHHhhhhhh....a first fresh breeze on my stifled feet. Hmm. I wonder what happened to that little white poodle that was here a second ago. I thought it might enjoy licking my feet. I sure woulda enjoyed the little doggy foot massage. Ah well. Think I'll just go stretch out on this oversized decorative chair over there and catch a few Z's...let my feet air out a bit.


 
Kembudo- kai is suddenly woke up by a loud engine, from above.  Before they begin to wonder what that sound is, they get blasted off the mountain by my penguins space ship!  

AHH!  Now I can finally sit back and relax!  No one around for miles!!!


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## someguy (Jun 5, 2006)

On my little meandering gentle fall down the mountain I happened to find yeti's.  An army of them.  I sent them up the mountain to deal with the penguins(doncha know yeti's and penguins are archrival's).  Having seized control of the space ship I simply teleport the mountain about 50 feet to the right and watch from my throne as tkdgirl tried not to look down so as not to fall.  This works rather well until of course I mention that her shoes are untied.  Have a nice fall.


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## elder999 (Jul 15, 2006)

It's been more than a month, so I don't even have to sneak up on someguy to push him down the mountain, and claim my rightful place......hehe, complacency'll get ya every time....


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## someguy (Jul 17, 2006)

Ah Heiddeger my friend let us go talk with elder about Being... Surly this well make him cry then take so many advil for his headache that he passes out and I can depose him with a minumum of effort thus making me Monarch of the mountain.


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## Lisa (Jul 22, 2006)

I look around to find that someguy has become bored and has wondered off in search of a good meal leaving the mountain unattended.  I thow what is left of his "camp" stuff down the mountain, clean up the empties and am now monarch of the mountain.


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## elder999 (Aug 1, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> I look around to find that someguy has become bored and has wondered off in search of a good meal leaving the mountain unattended. I thow what is left of his "camp" stuff down the mountain, clean up the empties and am now monarch of the mountain.


 
I sneak upon the apparently sleeping Lisa, entice Lisa's leashed avatar with a gourmet dog biscuit,which I then launch from a catapault-the avatar takes off after it, dragging Lisa behind, and I am again, Monarch of the Mountain.


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## someguy (Aug 1, 2006)

I get a whole lot of mary jane.  I burn it all.  This of course makes elder999 have to go out on a run to the nearest Taco Bell.  Oh I may not have mentioned it yet but I also turned this Taco Bell into a space ship.  Have a nice flight the king commands it.


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## Ceicei (Aug 2, 2006)

(singing off-key)

_"All mine!" Ceicei cried. "Oh the things I now rule!
I'm Queen of a post! And I'm Queen of the Cool!
I'm Queen of a thread! And, what's more, beyond that,
I'm Queen of the dojo and a mat!
I'm Ceicei the MAist!  Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of this mountain, you see!"_

(Apologies to butchering of Dr. Seuss' "Yertle the Turtle")

Someguy runs off holding his aching ears and I regally reclaim my throne!


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