# smarting off



## bushidomartialarts (Feb 8, 2007)

so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.

a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment.  lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.  

this seems sad to me, and a waste of personal resources.

has anybody else noticed this, or am i just getting grumpy in my old age?


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## fnorfurfoot (Feb 8, 2007)

It's not just you.  We live in a very negative, self centered world.  I wish that everyone could just mind their own lives and stop believing that everyone should believe as others do.  It really is a shame.


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## bydand (Feb 8, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> has anybody else noticed this, or am i just getting grumpy in my old age?



I'm going with grumpy in your old age. :lfao:

If that is the case though, I must be getting the same way.


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## Marginal (Feb 8, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.
> 
> a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment. lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.
> 
> this seems sad to me, and a waste of personal resources.


Just tell them to stop hatin'. (I get that all the time since I'm picky.)

But as someone who does frequently pick at movies, it's not to make myself feel smarter. If Superman wants to fly up into space and strike the Jesus Christ pose every 15 minutes ("HEY! SUPERMAN IS JESUS!" -B. Singer) in between bouts of stallking Lois Lane, it just bugs me. and that kind of nonsense takes me out of the movie I'm trying to enjoy. Which I then complain about, because I just wasted money I could've wasted in more productive ways. If someone thinks like me, then my complaining saves them from wasting their time in a similarly dissapointing fashion. 

For example, I could've rented/watched Crank instead of Superman, which would've taken up the same amount of time, and probably would've experienced that unabashed entertainment. Probably wouldn't have bothered with Superman at all but my friends kept saying how good it was. 

Rambling aside, I think it's largely due to people thinking that their opinions on how something could've been or should've been better will always magically find their way back to the ear of the producer, the director etc.


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## Cryozombie (Feb 8, 2007)

That entire opinion pisses me off.

No, but Seriously...

People SEEM to pay attention when you *****... they respond, give comments, ideas suggestions etc... when you focus on the positive, your comments often go, if not unnoticed, then less often responded too... at least compared with being negative... so I think people may do it because they are looking to share an experience, and want to feel like they are heard, instead of ignored.


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## Amazon (Feb 9, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.
> 
> a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment.  lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.
> 
> ...



I have noticed the same ('specially in your neck of the woods - I'm a Portland native myself )

Disliking everything makes it seem like one has high standards.  Also, people are sensitive of being looked down on in a circle for liking something someone else thinks is inferior - so more are willing to jump on the bandwagon.

Let me be the first to say - I actually kinda liked "Alf" and I'm a huge "Red Dwarf" fan.


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## Sukerkin (Feb 9, 2007)

I have to say that I do agree with the impression put forward by *Bushido* in post one.

Sadly, one aspect of the grumpiness that goes with my advancing age is that I complain all the time  . I often find myself saying things along the lines of "Well that was okay but this was wrong and that was wrong and that bit was poor etc etc".

In a stupendous display of two-faced-hypocrisy tho', it does wind me up when there is a sheep-like upsurge of 'nay saying' against something :lol:.  

The "Last Samurai" is a classic example of that.  I love the film, regardless of the historical and technical innaccuracies in it.  It was well made, had a story-line that tugged at the emotions, was well paced etc etc and yet it became very 'fashionable' to strike a pose of hating it.  The clamour of the "I'm far too cool to like this film" got so deafening that I stopped reading threads about it.

All of which rambling is just reinforcement of what I said at the start :blush:.


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## CoryKS (Feb 9, 2007)

Amazon said:


> Disliking everything makes it seem like one has high standards. Also, people are sensitive of being looked down on in a circle for liking something someone else thinks is inferior - so more are willing to jump on the bandwagon.


 
I think this is accurate.  It's an individuality thing - people tend to like things for the same reasons, but everyone's reason for disliking it is different.  And if you dislike something that a lot of people like, it makes you look discerning.


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## mrhnau (Feb 9, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.
> 
> a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment.  lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.
> 
> ...


That is one of my pet peeves too. It seems that pessimism sells more newpapers/advertisements than optimism. I think it's part of human nature to look for the negative. We spend alot of time rubbernecking when we see a traffic accident, don't we? Honestly, I don't watch local news anymore. It's just a parade of death, misery and upcoming destruction.

Hypocondriacs (sp) drive me nuts too. Just itching to hear that something is wrong LOL


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## morph4me (Feb 9, 2007)

bydand said:


> I'm going with grumpy in your old age. :lfao:
> 
> If that is the case though, I must be getting the same way.


 
The term is curmudgeonly, it's a term I've come to identify with and accept:uhyeah:


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## Drac (Feb 9, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> has anybody else noticed this, or am i just getting grumpy in my old age?


 
You ain't alone..Some folks aint happy unless they are bitching about something....


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## morph4me (Feb 9, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.
> 
> a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment. lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.
> 
> ...


 
I've noticed it too, seems that the energy spent on complaining about something would be better spent doing something about it or avoiding it.  I always find it interesting that people take a movie or book that was meant to be entertaining, not historically accurate, and complain that it wasn't historically accurate. To each his own:idunno:


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## bydand (Feb 9, 2007)

You know what the definition of ironic is?  This thread would be a fine example. :lfao:  

Just had to point this out you know.  I agree with what is being said, just funny as heck if you ask me.


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## morph4me (Feb 9, 2007)

I was thinking the same thing:lfao:


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## CoryKS (Feb 9, 2007)

morph4me said:


> I was thinking the same thing:lfao:


 
Me too, but I couldn't think of a good way to say it.


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## searcher (Feb 9, 2007)

We do live in a very negative society and it seems to be getting worse everyday.   If you are not able to respond to the negativity in like manour, then you be prepared for the worst.   I see it all of the time from every direction.   People can't say or do anything kind or selfless these days without getting torn apart.    Our government fights amongst themselves and with other nations, we fight each other over everything, our kids fight, our animals,and the list goes on and on.   If things don't change we are going to self-destruct.


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## Kacey (Feb 9, 2007)

I agree - and I'm not the only one.  I was reading Dear Abby this morning (yes, I admit it, I read Dear Abby every day), and this was one of today's letters:



> DEAR ABBY: I don't have a question, but perhaps you'd like to give your readers a smile. My late Aunt Isabel's wit was legendary in our family. We come from a small town in Connecticut where many roads are so narrow that if a car should stall, the car behind it would be unable to pass.
> This is what happened to my aunt one day. While she was trying to restart the engine, the driver in the car behind her began blowing his horn repeatedly. Aunt Isabel set the parking brake, got out of her car and walked over to the driver's window. When he rolled it down, she smiled warmly and said, "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be kind enough to start it for me? And I'll stay here and blow your horn for you." -- JOE P., MIAMI
> DEAR JOE P.: Thank you for the smile, but *when I read what your Aunt Isabel did, my smile turned wistful. Gone are the days. Someone who tried that today would risk a physical altercation or worse*.



The part of the response that I bolded shows this attitude all too clearly.


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## Ping898 (Feb 9, 2007)

Kacey said:


> The part of the response that I bolded shows this attitude all too clearly.


 
The reality of it though, is what she said was true....today the person honking the horn is just as likely to have a gun as to not have one....

I think part of the negativity in this world, besides most people on this thread being a bunch of old fogey's  comes from the fact that the world seems less safe and people less carefree....
Everything pushed on us, day in and day out, from the media and elsewhere has negative connotations...after a while, that begins to wear on you, you absorb it and internalize it....

That and I think some people are just too damn sensitive....like complaining that the mr. britney spears superbowl ad was demeaning to those working fast food....please....get over it...you can't pretend for one second that flipping burgers is as glamurous or as profitable as being a rap "star" is....


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## Touch Of Death (Feb 9, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> so here's what i've noticed lately that's sort of been up my craw.
> 
> a lot of people seem to feel like it makes them seem smarter to point out the negative sides of things than if they show unabashed enjoyment. lots of people seem to spend great energy in finding reasons to dislike a movie, book or person.
> 
> ...


Actualy people tend to feel overwhelmed by a new person and look for humanizing traits that they themselves can identify with, before they even feel as if they can be friends. Its a simple self defense mechanism.
Sean


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## Lisa (Feb 9, 2007)

Cryozombie said:


> That entire opinion pisses me off.
> 
> No, but Seriously...
> 
> People SEEM to pay attention when you *****... they respond, give comments, ideas suggestions etc... when you focus on the positive, your comments often go, if not unnoticed, then less often responded too... at least compared with being negative... so I think people may do it because they are looking to share an experience, and want to feel like they are heard, instead of ignored.



The squeeky wheel gets the grease syndrome.  If you ***** loud enough people will pay attention to you and try to quieten you down, often giving into you just to shut you up.

It is sad really to expend so much energy on the negative.  We are personally going through a family crisis right now and certain member of my family is only looking at the negative.  So much more could be accomplished if the energy was just directed the other way.


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## rutherford (Feb 9, 2007)

bydand said:


> You know what the definition of ironic is?  This thread would be a fine example. :lfao:
> 
> Just had to point this out you know.  I agree with what is being said, just funny as heck if you ask me.



And actually, the OP didn't start this trend.  You can recognize negativity and also recognize it for the waste of personal resources and drain of energy that it is without giving in to it yourself.

However, I have found that's a lot harder to do than to say.  And difficult in the extreme to internalize consistently.


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