# some things in my mind/rant/ I have no idea *** this is



## Josh (Feb 10, 2007)

So, I'm new here. I really like this forum.  I've been stuck home all day with the flu and this forum has given me something to do. It just dawned on me while writing a term paper.... I'm 20 years old. I'm not a teenager anymore..........

......

... in 10 years... I will be 30. Now, I don't mean to offend anyone that is over 30 years old (30 is not old)

It's just that I dont FEEL 20 years old. I have my life in order for the most part. I work, I'm in school. I know what I want to do with the rest of my life more or less. That is just the thing. Everything seems so... hmm.. set in stone. I think i'm going to go for a roadtrip with some friends this summer just to shake it up. I'm only 20 years old and I feel like i'm going through mid life crisis... damn.

I'm sitting here typing on a forum my thoughts about growing up when I should be typing a term paper for psychology. I want to get my PH.D someday, yet.. I don't want to be an "adult". The idea of fully growing up  scares me to no end. I have friends that are getting married. Married... at 20... what the ****? GAHHHH. haha. This whole suit and tie growing up thing will never work for me. ever. I don't consider myself a rebel, or out of the norm. I'm actually quite average. I have my hobbies, (Martial arts being my fav) Ideas, beliefs like everyone else. Sometimes I just feel out of place. So many people are okay with the idea of losing all childish ideals. I'm not. I like being carefree. I like being somewhat of a dreamer.

I just thought i'd share that with you. Now, back to my term paper.
wow.


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## Andrew Green (Feb 10, 2007)

Don't worry, your in school.  Pretty early after High school as well.  Give it time, the effects will wear off


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## Lisa (Feb 10, 2007)

Hi! :wavey:

Just wanted to say, my life is pretty much in order and has been for years but I still hold childish ideals and don't ever want to fully grow up.  I will be 42 very shortly.

Welcome to the club!  Don't sweat things, they won't happen if you don't want them to!

Lisa


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## Josh (Feb 10, 2007)

Thanks. I didn't think this would even get read, let alone replied to.
someone even gave me some good rep and told me to take take deep breaths.. haha

I hope to the be same person overall at 40 that I am now insofar as being carefree. I don't even know why I posted that, I guess I just needed to write it down. 

thanks for the replies


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## Tames D (Feb 10, 2007)

Wow. I didn't grow up until I had kids. Actually, I still haven't grown up.


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## Josh (Feb 10, 2007)

It's good to be around like minded people haha.


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## bydand (Feb 10, 2007)

QUI-GON said:


> Wow. I didn't grow up until I had kids. Actually, I still haven't grown up.



I know what you mean.  My wife keeps asking me if I ever plan on growing up.  The answer is still no.  By the way, she usually asks after I do something stupid and is laughing about it.  I didn't get married until 33, and now at 43 I still have a hard time envisioning myself a day past 20.  Sure I have stopped taking the absolutely stupid risks now that I have kids, but it doesn't mean I still don't WANT to sometimes.  Thinking about the first post here I initially thought "Oh to be 20 again", but really looking at it, I wouldn't change places for any money in the world.  I like being in my 40's; more respect, less BS if I happen to go out, People actually listen now when I have something to say, and the kicker- I still feel 20.   


Joshua, enjoy it!  I thought my life was set at your age as well, man was I wrong!


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## Tames D (Feb 10, 2007)

Life is what happens while your making other plans.


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## matt.m (Feb 10, 2007)

Man, it is all good.  You will have "Revelations" all throughout life.  It is good though that you have a decent head on your shoulders where you see what it is what you want.


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## morph4me (Feb 10, 2007)

There is a saying that goes "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional".  Now growing old may not be mandatory, but the alternative really sucks, and at 53 I choose not to grow up.


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## Makalakumu (Feb 11, 2007)

Life is only set if you want it to be so.  Go out and "shake things up."  That's a good way to experience things...and in the end, that is all we'll ever have.


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## Jade Tigress (Feb 11, 2007)

upnorthkyosa said:


> Life is only set if you want it to be so.  Go out and "shake things up."  That's a good way to experience things...and in the end, that is all we'll ever have.



Well said. 

I will be 43 in two weeks and I don't feel my age all. I mean sheesh, to my ears it _sounds _old for _me_ to be. But I FEEL 25! lol! I think *mid-life crisis's* are cyclical too. I remember feeling like I was going through a mid-life crisis when I was 30. Ha! Now I know better. I feel like I'm going though a mid-life crisis now! I really don't plan on ever "feeling my age". My mom is in her mid 60's and she says the same thing. "It sounds so old but I don't feel like I'm 66." Life is full of ups and down and there are seasons of life we all go through. Do the best you can with where you are and never give up hope for the future. :asian:


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## Drac (Feb 11, 2007)

bydand said:


> I know what you mean. My wife keeps asking me if I ever plan on growing up. The answer is still no.


 
Yours too Scott??? Most guys my age would rather sit in front of a TV for hours and take it easy..Me I'm happiest when I'm training..Like Pete Pan said "I'm Never gonna grow up."


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## Jade Tigress (Feb 11, 2007)

Drac said:


> Yours too Scott??? Most guys my age would rather sit in front of a TV for hours and take it easy..Me I'm happiest when I'm training..Like Pete Pan said "I'm Never gonna grow up."



I still watch cartoons.  

Ok...so it's the adult swim variety...but STILL!


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## bydand (Feb 11, 2007)

Jade Tigress said:


> I still watch cartoons.
> 
> Ok...so it's the adult swim variety...but STILL!



43 last September,  just ask me a question about "Cars" or "Ice Age" or... Oh who am I trying to kid, I have 4 boys 9 and under and think I like some of their cartoons better than they do.  I like to refer to them as either "Cinimatic Animation" or "Anamated Shorts"  Sounds better than Cartoon movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons.


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## dubljay (Feb 11, 2007)

Everyone knows that if you haven't grown up by the time you are 35 you dont have to.


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## Drac (Feb 11, 2007)

dubljay said:


> Everyone knows that if you haven't grown up by the time you are 35 you dont have to.


 
I am a living testamony to that statement...


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## Drac (Feb 11, 2007)

bydand said:


> refer to them as either "Cinimatic Animation" or "Anamated Shorts" Sounds better than Cartoon movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons.


 
Philistine!!! They were called *cartoons* when I was a kid, and they are still called cartoons now that I'm a big kid...


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## exile (Feb 11, 2007)

Jade Tigress said:


> Well said.
> 
> I will be 43 in two weeks and I don't feel my age all. I mean sheesh, to my ears it _sounds _old for _me_ to be. But I FEEL 25! lol! I think *mid-life crisis's* are cyclical too. I remember feeling like I was going through a mid-life crisis when I was 30. Ha! Now I know better. I feel like I'm going though a mid-life crisis now! I really don't plan on ever "feeling my age". My mom is in her mid 60's and she says the same thing. "It sounds so old but I don't feel like I'm 66." Life is full of ups and down and there are seasons of life we all go through. Do the best you can with where you are and never give up hope for the future. :asian:



Wise mom, Pam! I know exactly what she's talking about. I have yet to meet anyone my age (cusp of 60) who I've talked about this with who doesn't say the same thingno one feels `older', much less `old'. 

I've wondered about why this is.... have some ideas but no way to tell if they really hold water. But definitely this is a common feeling that people have about themselves.


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## Tames D (Feb 11, 2007)

bydand said:


> 43 last September, just ask me a question about "Cars" or "Ice Age" or... Oh who am I trying to kid, I have 4 boys 9 and under and think I like some of their cartoons better than they do. I like to refer to them as either "Cinimatic Animation" or "Anamated Shorts" Sounds better than Cartoon movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons.


Hey, 43 is the new 23...


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## tshadowchaser (Feb 11, 2007)

If anyone at the age of 20 feels that their life is complet or that the road ahead of them is totally preordained than they will have many surprises in life. At 20 i thought I had seen way to much already and had a strong grasp of what was ahead, man was I surprised to find out that life can take some unexpected turns at the most inopportune times.
Enjoy your youth, get your education if that is what you want, take those road trips (always good for memories later) and enjoy being young. When you reach my age you will find that all is still not set in stone and that many things can change at the drop of a dime


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## Josh (Feb 12, 2007)

tshadowchaser said:


> If anyone at the age of 20 feels that their life is complet or that the road ahead of them is totally preordained than they will have many surprises in life. At 20 i thought I had seen way to much already and had a strong grasp of what was ahead, man was I surprised to find out that life can take some unexpected turns at the most inopportune times.
> Enjoy your youth, get your education if that is what you want, take those road trips (always good for memories later) and enjoy being young. When you reach my age you will find that all is still not set in stone and that many things can change at the drop of a dime



I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the advice.


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## jdinca (Feb 12, 2007)

I'm 43 and I refuse to grow up. Just ask my kids.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 12, 2007)

I'm 20 with over 20 years experience at being 20. When I started in MA Enter the Dragon was a new movie. 

And I have to say this; it is required whenever someone in their 20s thinks they are old..... MY MOUSTACHE IS OLDER THAN YOU.... Ok now that I got that out of the way... don't worry about it, your 20 for crying out loud. You have no idea what is going to happen over the next 20 plus years and it can all be pretty damn cool.... sorry, I'm old I am allowed to use cool whenever I want to... now see there are advantages to it. 

I doubt I will lever grow up to be honest, or at least not in the way you are worries about. I still watch cartoons (AND THEY ARE CALLED CARTOONS) However I can now use my kids as the excuse as to why I am watching them if need be. Bad if I were an adult as you think an adult should be I would not be out beating trees for training.

Don't worry about it, get your degree and go form there...

And a PhD in Psychology.... You can show up to work in a t-shirt shorts and sandals and it will be expected and if anyone questions you on it... just use what you have learned against them.


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## shesulsa (Feb 12, 2007)

Anyone else here remember when athletes and dancers used to retire when they were 30? :lol2: Because they were OLD!! :rofl:

Josh ... there's some things that have come with my years that I like having and there's a few things I miss having.  But when I think back, I think life is pretty much always like that.  I felt that way in college, I felt that way afterwards, I felt that way when I got married, divorced and married again ....

It's just a path, man, with some things to see.  Sometimes the road gets bumpy and once in a while it might even seem unnegotiable. Sometimes it's a cake walk - enjoy those times dood and when it gets rough, just remember there's smoother times ahead and keep on keepin' on.

Maturity I don't mind ... it's the sore hip, bad back and heartburn I don't enjoy. 

No matter what happens, here's a tidbit I heard recently that I really like:  aristocracy is of the soul, not of the cloth.  And if you don't believe in the soul, you can substitute character, heart, mind ... whatever.

On the inside, I still feel much like I did when I was 20 and I'm 41.

So ... you define who you are.  You'll question what you know and what you believe and how you feel about things off and on throughout your life - good exercise.  Makes you think, helps you understand people better.

Now I'm rambling.  

Welcome to MT.


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## Eternal Beginner (Feb 12, 2007)

Joshua said:


> *This whole suit and tie growing up thing will never work for me. ever.* I don't consider myself a rebel, or out of the norm. I'm actually quite average. I have my hobbies, (Martial arts being my fav) Ideas, beliefs like everyone else. Sometimes I just feel out of place. So many people are okay with the idea of losing all childish ideals. I'm not. I like being carefree. I like being somewhat of a dreamer.
> 
> I just thought i'd share that with you. Now, back to my term paper.
> wow.


Hey, who said you have to be a suit?  I did the university thing, got my degree but never...ever, did I do an "office job".  I was never a cubicle warrior.

What I did is employed myself, I found something I liked doing and then made it fit my life.  My first company started to take over my life and I found myself more and more tied to it.  So I decided to sell the whole thing and I am in a _completely_ different line of work now.

If it doesn't work for you, change it.

I never lost my childish ideals, in fact, now that I have the means I can actually indulge quite a lot of them.  Putting in the work earns you the play time.  MA is my family's passion as well.  Working our "have to's" in such a way we are able to do the "want to's" as well.  We have travelled all over Canada and the US competing and will be training and competing in Brazil as well this year.

Don't let the the adult world scare you, attack it, tackle it...wrestle it to the ground  and make it what you want it to be.

Carpe diem.


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## hong kong fooey (Feb 13, 2007)

i know how you feel


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## Josh (Feb 13, 2007)

I just wanted to say that i'm more than impressed with the feeback i've recived from this forum and it's members. I posted this on my first day as a member and I don't think i've seen that kind of warmth in ANY other forum. I'm still getting used to the rules of MT. I've almost already been banned... twice. for dropping what some considered to be "challenges" and I apologize. I didn't mean it in a rude or jerk-like way. Hubbard said they normally ban right away for such things, but I was given a second chance because it was a ethnic issue. 

I'm very very happy I stumbled upon MT. I thought this would just be a place to talk martial arts and whatnot. But it turns out you guys are in a strange way .. kind of like familyish. This might be my way of being honest, but I just wanted to let you all know that I appreicate the support I've gotten, and all of the different opinions i've read and taken in over the last couple of days.

that being said, tommorow morning I will look into my options and get a supporting membership and stick around for a good long while.

Again, I think this forum has so much to offer, I will try and be more carefull of the rules from now on. The level of respect you guys treat eachother with is more than you see in "real life" I feel at home here already.

Thank you to everyone i've come into contact with sofar.


cheers 



Josh


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## evenflow1121 (Feb 14, 2007)

Its change, its a good thing, you are adapting to a different scenario, that is life, it constantly changes on you man.  I am 28 years old, and chances are you are probably going to go through this feeling several more times during your 20's decade as you become more responsible and more stable.  I have friends that got married at 20 and got divorced at 25, I hope that dont happen to any of your friends, but in this day and age that is a very young age to get married.  The only advice I can give you is no matter how many pretty girls, no matter how tough it gets, no matter what you have to sacrifice and including you martial arts training, stick with school and get your phd.


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## Drac (Feb 14, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Anyone else here remember when athletes and dancers used to retire when they were 30? :lol2: Because they were OLD!! :rofl:


 
Yep and that would fate would NEVER befall us....





			
				shesulsa said:
			
		

> Maturity I don't mind ... it's the sore hip, bad back and heartburn I don't enjoy.


 
2 intense training days and NOW its 2 days to fully recover instead of a couple of hours..*BUT* unlike many my age *I'M STILL TRAINING!!!! *


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> 2 intense training days and NOW its 2 days to fully recover instead of a couple of hours..*BUT* unlike many my age *I'M STILL TRAINING!!!! *


 
Only 2 days? I'm usually feeling the full effects on the 2nd day, then it takes 2 or 3 days to get back to normal ( a relative term)


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> 2 intense training days and NOW its 2 days to fully recover instead of a couple of hours..*BUT* unlike many my age *I'M STILL TRAINING!!!! *


 

Ahhhhhh so this is why my body likes Sundays so much then, the day I don't really train. I train all the rest but around about Thursday it gets mighty difficult.... except for the tree beatings... I am always up for beating a tree. 

I did notice,  2 classes ago, after my Xingyi teacher used me as an example for application proposes over and over and over again that it took me about 2 to 3 days to actually not say ouch every time I moved.... Must be getting old...


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> I did notice, 2 classes ago, after my Xingyi teacher used me as an example for application proposes over and over and over again that it took me about 2 to 3 days to actually not say ouch every time I moved.... Must be getting old...


 
Getting old?? not at all, you are just relaxing developing your chi and awareness to the point that you even feel the pressure of the air around you, and you're still sensitive to that pressure, when you get used to it, it no longer hurts:uhyeah:


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 14, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Getting old?? not at all, you are just relaxing developing your chi and awareness to the point that you even feel the pressure of the air around you, and you're still sensitive to that pressure, when you get used to it, it no longer hurts:uhyeah:


 
Yes that's it HYPER QI SENSITIVITY from being beaten by a Xingyi Sifu.... It could happen.... I will go with that.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





    Not old, just heightened chi awareness


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## morph4me (Feb 14, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Yes that's it HYPER QI SENSITIVITY from being beaten by a Xingyi Sifu.... It could happen.... I will go with that.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Now that we have that settled, if you think trees are fun to beat on, you should try bridges. Now as it happens I have this great bridge and I'm willing to sell it at a loss to someone as uh, discriminating as yourself:uhyeah:


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 14, 2007)

morph4me said:


> Now that we have that settled, if you think trees are fun to beat on, you should try bridges. Now as it happens I have this great bridge and I'm willing to sell it at a loss to someone as uh, discriminating as yourself:uhyeah:


 
Thanks but, nope sorry, I have nothing against bridges.... But you can never trust a tree.  :ticked: 

One jumped me once and I am just getting even.... But I have never had any problem with a bridge. But if I ever do I will get back to you


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## Sukerkin (Feb 15, 2007)

I concurr with a great many of the views posted in this most interesting thread - I'm particularly heartened by those who come from my 'seniors' (I'm a strippling of 43, soon to be 44) as you tell me that this feeling of being thankful for my years does not pass :tup:.  I could *really* do without those aches and pains tho' :lol:.

In direct response to *Joshua*, as many have said, altho' from the perspective of a couple of decades it might seem as if your road is set, it trully isn't so.  

We all thought pretty much the same (as well as thinking we knew better than our fathers/teachers/generally older folks ) when we passed the 'adult boundary' of 21 but the world doesn't work on predestination so fear not ... your steps are yours to direct.

I still remember to this day the advice one of my school teachers gave me (tho' of course I thought he was talking twaddle back then ) - enjoy the physical energy of your youth because that will fade but prepare to enjoy the much wider benefits that maturity will bring because they endure.


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