# Calvin's Dad



## MA-Caver (Mar 6, 2007)

Bill Watterson author and artist of the wonderfully funny Calvin & Hobbes cartoon is brilliant and insightful and knows what it's like to be a Dad,... of course when mom isn't around to contradict every nugget of wisdom Dad passes on. 
Wish my dad had answered *my* questions like this when I was 5 years old (or is Calvin 6 yrs. old now?) my life would be so much simpler now ... 
Gotta love it... 


Ask Calvin's Dad 

Calvin's dad answering questions, quoted from various Calvin and Hobbes books by Bill Watterson. 

Q. Why does the sun set? 
A. It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets. 
Q. Why does it go from east to west? 
A. Solar wind. 

Q. Why does the sky turn red as the sun sets? 
A. That's all the oxygen in the atmosphere catching fire. 
Q. Where does the sun go when it sets? 
A. The sun sets in the west. In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff. That's why the rocks there are so red. 
Q. Don't the people get burned up? 
A. No, the sun goes out as it sets. That's why it's dark at night. 
Q. Doesn't the sun crush the whole state as it lands? 
A. Ha ha, of course not. Hold a quarter up. See, the sun's just about the same size. 
Q. I thought I read that the sun was really big. 
A. You can't believe everything you read, I'm afraid. 

Q. How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then? 
A. Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too. 
Q. But then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way? 
A. Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane. 
Q. But... But how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of gray back then? 
A. Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s. 
Q. So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too? 
A. Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember? 

Q. Dad, will you explain the theory of relativity to me? I don't understand why time goes slower at great speed. 
A. It's because you keep changing time zones. See, if you fly to California, you gain three hours on a five-hour flight, right? So if you go at the speed of light, you gain more time, because it doesn't take as long to get there. Of course, the theory of relativity only works if you're going west. 

Q. Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze? 
A. If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything. 

Q. How do bank machines work? 
A. Well, let's say you want 25 dollars. You punch in the amount and behind the machine there's a guy with a printing press who makes the money and sticks it out this slot. 
Q. Sort of like the guy who lives up in our garage and opens the door? 
A. Exactly. 

Q. What causes the wind? 
A. Trees sneezing. 

Q. Why does ice float? 
A. Because it's cold. Ice wants to get warm, so it goes to the top of liquids to be nearer to the sun. 
Q. Is that true? 
A. Look it up and find out. 
Q. I should just look up stuff in the first place. 

Q. How come you know so much? 
A. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.


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## bydand (Mar 6, 2007)

And too think, all this time I have been misinforming my sons about these questions.   

I love Calvin and Hobbes.


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## The Kidd (Mar 6, 2007)

Ah, it's great being a father and children believing everything you tell them.


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## bydand (Mar 6, 2007)

The Kidd said:


> Ah, it's great being a father and children believing everything you tell them.



Oh don't I wish.  My 2nd oldest when he was 4 asked me why the sky was colored blue.  I pulled some BS out and trotted it past him, at which point he looked at me like he suddenly realized his Father was an Idiot, then responded with, "I thought it had something to do with the color of the light waves."  This is also the son who was all concerned one day when he was almost 3, and was crawling around on his hands and knees looking for something. When I asked what he was looking for he told me he looked down and some rods and cones fell out of his eyes and he couldn't find them.  I didn't know about rods and cones until I was in 4th or 5th grade.  I'm screwed when he gets older!


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## bobster_ice (Mar 6, 2007)

MA-Caver said:


> Q. Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?
> A. If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.


 

Yeah, why do your eyes shut when you sneeze?

I learned a few years ago in school but...I forget.


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## terryl965 (Mar 6, 2007)

bydand said:


> And too think, all this time I have been misinforming my sons about these questions.
> 
> I love Calvin and Hobbes.


 

you and me both


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## MA-Caver (Mar 7, 2007)

bobster_ice said:


> Yeah, why do your eyes shut when you sneeze?
> 
> I learned a few years ago in school but...I forget.




Calvin's Dad: _If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out _and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.

Calvin's dad got it partially right... the force of a sneeze is reputed to be powerful enough to push the eyes out of the sockets... It's also an instinctive reflex action. Ever tried sneezing with your eyes open? Hurts like hell.


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## SifuPhil (Mar 7, 2007)

LOL - my sons stole all my C&H books by the time they were 8 or 9 years old.

But BEFORE then...

We were all out for a drive once in the winter, and were passing by some sheer rock cliffs. Someone had dumped color dye onto the top of the cliff, and the resulting ice on the face of the rock was green, red, yellow...

When my son asked what caused it, I told him it was the Flugelhauffer Effect.

...I had him conned for about 6 years with THAT one! :lol:


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## IcemanSK (Mar 8, 2007)

Ver nice.:ultracool


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## Xue Sheng (Mar 8, 2007)

*YES!!!*

Now I have ALL the answers I need for MY kids.


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