# Ripping my graying hair out!



## granfire (Nov 14, 2011)

What can I say...the kid is 14.

K, we had WWIII when report cards came out.
3 Ds...and all because of stupid stuff like 'I forgot'

Now, we get the progress report: one *F*

More of the 'I forgot'

Naturally many teas flowed...many things are on the line. Not a lot of them vital, but bound to the grades....

The truly sad thing?
If the kid just did the dang work and turned it in, he'd have straight As. 


Pass me a beer. Maybe in 15 years we are over this.


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## shesulsa (Nov 14, 2011)

Boy can I relate. Went through it with my daughter, now going through it with my son.  *sigh*  I think we need to hold their widdle hands agaain.


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## granfire (Nov 14, 2011)

shesulsa said:


> Boy can I relate. Went through it with my daughter, now going through it with my son.  *sigh*  I think we need to hold their widdle hands agaain.



I bought a 12 pack, want one?


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## Sukerkin (Nov 15, 2011)

:chuckles in sympathy:  What you really need is to read my book on child care - it involves detailed installations of barbed wire to prevent access to 'distractions' and application of cattle-prods, on various settings, to encourage compliance with parental instructions .


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## granfire (Nov 15, 2011)

Sukerkin said:


> :chuckles in sympathy:  What you really need is to read my book on child care - it involves detailed installations of barbed wire to prevent access to 'distractions' and application of cattle-prods, on various settings, to encourage compliance with parental instructions .



There was a reason we get a long so well. 

Might need that cattle prod.


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## oftheherd1 (Nov 15, 2011)

Yep, and it can be for some many reasons, it is often very difficult to figure out the best cure.  Cattle prod, water-boarding, promise of something he wants?  Who knows?  When I was in high school, it was a combination of laziness and boredom.  I read a lot when I was younger, and so knew a lot.  Why do the homework? I already knew it.  We are now going through that with my grandson.  Smart little guy.  We finally seem to have gotten a teacher on our side that he needs to be advanced for the greater challenge.  Good luck on finding what he needs for motivation, and what you need for relief.


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## Gemini (Nov 15, 2011)

Been through it with all 3 of the boys. Victory came down to a matter of wills and constant reminders. A huge advantage we have is that we could see progress on-line, so nothing escaped us for long, not do we have to wait for report cards to monitor progress or identify signs of trouble. Even when they "forgot" and failed an assignment, we made them do it anyway. Once they figured out forgetting didn't mean any less work, just less credit, the problem subsided. The strange thing is, we had to do this with each one. The younger never learned by watching the older, reinventing the same problem.


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## Sukerkin (Nov 15, 2011)

If it's any consolation, Gran, when I was in the early years of Secondary School, my report cards often had some variant of "could try harder" on them and I, eventually, ended up with more letters after my name than are in it .  Sometimes apparent poor performance is just boredom brought on by not being challenged enough.  Indeed, I pretty much missed one term of school entirely (illness real and psychological (induced by bullying)) and learned more than I would have done in school by copious reading (including the entire Children's Britannica and the Encyclopedia of Nature and Science).


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## Carol (Nov 15, 2011)

granfire said:


> Pass me a beer. Maybe in 15 years we are over this.



That stinks 

*passes a cold drink of something good*

I'm happy to pass you lots of beers, but as much as I hate to say it, this doesn't sound like anything he will "outgrow".  Now granted, I don't know the young man (and I'm missing a lot of detail so I could be wrong) but this appears to be more like an engrained habit.  Its what he is used to.  That being said, I don't have kids so I don't have any wise ideas as to the solution.  My instincts would be to move to more of a micromanaging role with regards to his homework but I don't know how realistic or practical that is.

How dare he upset a German woman!  I mean, really! :lol:


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## granfire (Nov 15, 2011)

Sukerkin said:


> If it's any consolation, Gran, when I was in the early years of Secondary School, my report cards often had some variant of "could try harder" on them and I, eventually, ended up with more letters after my name than are in it .  Sometimes apparent poor performance is just boredom brought on by not being challenged enough.  Indeed, I pretty much missed one term of school entirely (illness real and psychological (induced by bullying)) and learned more than I would have done in school by copious reading (including the entire Children's Britannica and the Encyclopedia of Nature and Science).



That and knowledge of 'trouble children' making it to graduation eases my mind. Not the immidiate pain though. 

The kid is not a bad one. Just too bright for his own good. And he finally reached a point were not working sets him back.

(I call him 'not dumb, but stupid' I mean, if he only turned his work in, he'd be cruising!)

Oh, and I used the swear words Carol loves so much a bunch in the last 2 days!


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## Carol (Nov 15, 2011)

The himmel!! The himmel!!


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## granfire (Nov 15, 2011)

Carol said:


> The himmel!! The himmel!!



yep, that would be the one!


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## WC_lun (Nov 15, 2011)

I was the same way as a child and look how I turned out.  Oh wait...ummm maybe ground him from everything but breathing and homework until he starts doing the work


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## granfire (Nov 15, 2011)

WC_lun said:


> I was the same way as a child and look how I turned out.  Oh wait...ummm maybe ground him from everything but breathing and homework until he starts doing the work



:lfao:


not sure about the breathing though!


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## Master Dan (Nov 16, 2011)

My wife and i require my 7 year old to read two books a night pracice writting math and other home work we do it with her it has reall made a differnce do all you can before 12 after that it may be to late


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## Steve (Nov 16, 2011)

My son is doing better. Last year, he would "forget" to turn it in.  It's done.  It's in his bag.  He DID THE WORK.  

Or he'd do 90% of it but not turn it in because it wasn't finished.  


But, I have to say, I won't complain.  They're both doing great and getting poor grades in high school is a tradition among the males of my clan.  We are too busy charming young ladies and being affable scoundrels.  I have no doubt he'll land on his feet, although you'll never hear me say that to him.  

All that said, he's much better this year and fortunately, his little sister who is now in the 9th grade gets straight As.


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## granfire (Nov 16, 2011)

Master Dan said:


> My wife and i require my 7 year old to read two books a night pracice writting math and other home work we do it with her it has reall made a differnce do all you can before 12 after that it may be to late



2 books? good grief!

(I don't think anybody had to tell me to read at that age...)

well, we had a conference with the teachers (and I am suspecting the 4th teacher not with a complaint is, well, not as good? :lol 
same old problem: If he did the work he's be B average with no problem.
and his notebooks are all exploding. le sigh.

eventually he'll grow up. I just hope I can experience that without heading to the Betty Ford clinic....


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## Scott T (Nov 16, 2011)

No offense, but I can actually rellate to the kid! I was considered an underachiever in school because I didn't do reports, turn in papers, etc... Turned out I generally found the work too easy and too easy meant not being challenged by it. In short I found it b-o-r-i-n-g, and I generally have a phobia towards boredom. One of my teachers figured it out and started giving me harder work and I was forced to apply myself. It worked, my grades went back up.

I never could resist a challenge.


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## granfire (Nov 16, 2011)

Scott T said:


> No offense, but I can actually rellate to the kid! I was considered an underachiever in school because I didn't do reports, turn in papers, etc... Turned out I generally found the work too easy and too easy meant not being challenged by it. In short I found it b-o-r-i-n-g, and I generally have a phobia towards boredom. One of my teachers figured it out and started giving me harder work and I was forced to apply myself. It worked, my grades went back up.
> 
> I never could resist a challenge.



non taken.
We have come to the conclusion a while ago. 
He was in the gifted program, but - you guessed it - ruined that chance by not doing his regular work. And now all programs get cut and he is not old enough to do AP classes.


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## Sukerkin (Nov 16, 2011)

Gran, does he 'study' on his own i.e. does he have interests (girls don't count ) with which he engages and expends effort?  

When I was his age I was a voracious reader, consuming anything and everything I could get my hands on, particularly if it related to ships or sailing.  I was also inquisitive about how technical things worked and was forever taking things apart that I shouldn't have done :O.  That was when I wasn't building 'dens' out of wattle and daub or making fires or figuring out what went boom/fizz/sparkle the best with my chemistry sets (do they still sell such things for youngsters these days?).

Why I ask is that if he does, then, amongst other things, that is a sure sign that the school work is not challenging him and/or does not interest him.


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## granfire (Nov 16, 2011)

sadly as a child of this age, VIDEO GAMES.

well for the time being, he lost the laptop....ah shucks, the fun of being a parent.

He likes to draw though.


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## jks9199 (Nov 16, 2011)

Have you checked into the possibility of some sort of learning disorder like a mild case ADHD or dyslexia?  I want to stress that learning disorders ARE NOT signs of poor intelligence; in fact, it's often the opposite!  Often, a student that has troubles though clearly capable of doing the work has something else going on, and it's not always picked up on the way it should be.  If that's not the issue...  Speaking as someone who coasted through HS, doing what I had to and little more -- he'll probably survive, but he's building habits that'll be hard to overcome.  He might benefit from work with a tutor on how to learn and be organized.


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## granfire (Nov 16, 2011)

jks9199 said:


> Have you checked into the possibility of some sort of learning disorder like a mild case ADHD or dyslexia?  I want to stress that learning disorders ARE NOT signs of poor intelligence; in fact, it's often the opposite!  Often, a student that has troubles though clearly capable of doing the work has something else going on, and it's not always picked up on the way it should be.  If that's not the issue...  Speaking as someone who coasted through HS, doing what I had to and little more -- he'll probably survive, but he's building habits that'll be hard to overcome.  He might benefit from work with a tutor on how to learn and be organized.



We had that idea at some time, but as far as I know (after consulting professionals at one time) he's 'normal'
just smart, cookie, and 14.


We'll have to make sure he takes advantage of what the school offers.
oh, and the organization...


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## shihansmurf (Nov 23, 2011)

Steve said:


> My son is doing better. Last year, he would "forget" to turn it in. It's done. It's in his bag. He DID THE WORK.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## Tez3 (Nov 23, 2011)

granfire said:


> *sadly as a child of this age, VIDEO GAMES.
> 
> *well for the time being, he lost the laptop....ah shucks, the fun of being a parent.
> 
> He likes to draw though.



One of the things the RAF looks for in potential pilots is being good at the complicated video games that are out now, it shows aptitude in being able to concentrate on and complete several complex tasks at a time, all things needed for pilots and fighter pilots in particular. Obviously it takes other stuff as well but I wouldn't fret too much about the video games stuff, they aren't quite as mind numbing as many think.

Do you have anything like the army, RAF or Navy cadets we have here? Boys in particular love being in them, they get to be in a big gang, play with weapons ( in the RAF cadets case they learn to fly) go out on exercises, go abroad, all sorts of things that are age appropriate. they don't have to join up either when they are adults.
http://armycadets.com/become-a-cadet/what-youll-do/
http://www.raf.mod.uk/aircadets/whatwedo/


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## granfire (Nov 23, 2011)

Hey, i send him to you! ^_^

The stinker would probably stop playing video games if he was told they could be beneficial! 

(We actually do have a few shoot'em up games, he does not play them very much though. more of a fantasy/puzzle type gamer)

Well, he played sick Monday, coach send him to the nurse in 1st period (I will have to rethink my strategy on that one) and he thinks he's in the clear, with the Thanksgiving holiday keeping him out of school for 3 days. (no, really, is that necessary?!)

So I am having an uphill battle - again...

I am tired of laughing and too much alcohol does not agree with me.


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## Tez3 (Nov 23, 2011)

granfire said:


> Hey, i send him to you! ^_^
> 
> The stinker would probably stop playing video games if he was told they could be beneficial!
> 
> ...



Hey I'd quite happily have him! Send him across in the summer holidays. I'll chuck him in with the 14-16 year olds in the club, he'll love cage fighting. Actually they love the training, they are in with the squaddies, get treated as adults and get to work off frustrations, they do go home calmer. After our fitness coach John (Scots Guards Sgt.Maj) has called him things he's never even imagined existed and beasted him he'll be pleased to be home with you! Travel does broaden the mind and does help mature youngsters, but bear in mind on the whole boys are two years behind girls in the maturity league. Thay also mess around at school to start with then knuckle down, girls are the other way around.


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## granfire (Nov 23, 2011)

LOl, yep, sounds like a guy's holiday to me!

(I think he's need a dictionary though, for all the words that are not in it!) 

Ah, yes, my niece is 3 years younger, does home work, keeps her room clean...her mom was a hellion...I can only imagine how that will turn out when the hormones kick in....


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