# Top ten signs you've got wrong Doctor



## Gary Crawford (Sep 29, 2004)

The Top 10 Signs You've Got The Wrong Doctor 

10. Directions To His Office Include The Phrase, "Turn Off The Paved Road."

9. Magazines In The Waiting Room: "Juggs," "Cracked," And "Soldier Of Fortune."

8. Medical Diploma On The Wall Appears To Be The Warranty From A Craftsman Cordless Screwdriver

7. Number 5 On The Patient Questionnaire: "Are You The Type Who's Likely To Press Charges?"

6. He's Wearing A Pair Of Pants You Gave To Goodwill Last Month.

5. All The Tongue Depressors Have A Faint Taste Of Fudgesicle.

4. You Don't Seem To Remember Viagra Coming In Different Colors With Little M's On Them.

3. Your "Stress Test" Consists Of An Appearance With Your Relatives On "The Jerry Springer Show."

2. Giggles Uncontrollably Whenever He Hears The Word "Rectum"

And the Number One Sign You've Got The Wrong Doctor...

His Answer To Dubious Test Results: "Oh Well...Let's All Do A Shot.


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## Sarah (Sep 29, 2004)

LOL...very good


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## Seig (Sep 30, 2004)

What about the one where he tells you to drop your pants and he reaches for his belt buckle?????/


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## bignick (Sep 30, 2004)

Seig said:
			
		

> What about the one where he tells you to drop your pants and he reaches for his belt buckle?????/


what kind of doctor do you go to?


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## KenpoTex (Sep 30, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> what kind of doctor do you go to?



You gotta remember...he lives in West Virginia


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## Ronin Moose (Oct 1, 2004)

How about when he goes to write you a prescription, reaches in his pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer.  Then, with a puzzled looks says "I wonder what happened to my fountain pen?"


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## Baytor (Oct 2, 2004)

:rofl:


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## shesulsa (Oct 28, 2004)

When he brings in the medical book to look up the lesions on your hands, feet, arms and legs to identify the skin condition you have.

 When he asks the nurse, "Well, I'm open for suggestions - what's your opinion?"

 When you go in for a strep swab and he tells you to put your feet in the stirrups.

 When he tells you to drink a cup of cyanide and call him in the morning.

 When he walks in wearing nothing but his white coat and stethescope - the the stethescope isn't hanging around his neck.....

 When you go in for your yearly physical (ladies), assume the position, and he says, "Now say ahhhhh....."

 When he comes in the room and lies down on the table and starts telling you HIS problems.

 When he enters the exam room with a cleaver and says, "Now - where's that mole???"

 When you tell him you have never had pneumonia, he says, "Want some?"

 When you see his doctorate in his office the university name is "Cracker Jack."


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## RTKDCMB (Jul 1, 2021)

When your oral thermometer tastes funny.


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## Xue Sheng (Jul 1, 2021)

You 


Gary Crawford said:


> The Top 10 Signs You've Got The Wrong Doctor
> 
> 10. Directions To His Office Include The Phrase, "Turn Off The Paved Road."
> 
> ...



You forgot the sign above the door

"All hope abandon, ye who enter here"


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