# No more training. Win every fight in one move!



## swiftpete (Apr 8, 2006)

Check this out. This guy is selling such a fantastic system that he says you'll be black belt level in only 1 week. Also as he says you'll be able to win every fight in just one move!

*I will personally show you*
*how to win ANY fight*
*EVERY time*
*with just 1 move!*


*I will train you to the*
*level of elite black belt*
*martial artist **from*
*home **in **1 week!*​ 
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/wing-chun-book-blackbelt-kempo-kenpo-rare-manga-dvd_W0QQitemZ7230962218QQcategoryZ47348QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


----------



## Odin (Apr 8, 2006)

what!I could be a black belt in just one week!!!yipppeeee sign me up!(")


----------



## green meanie (Apr 8, 2006)

Odin said:
			
		

> what!I could be a black belt in just one week!!!yipppeeee sign me up!(")


 
Perhaps even faster. Just depends on how long it takes for your check to clear.


----------



## swiftpete (Apr 8, 2006)

_Discover how to immobilize a full grown man who is 4x your weight and strength!_

I've just found that on there. I'll now know how to immobilise a 48 stone man. I'm pleased he tells you how to do that as quite often in my town powerlifting giants go round the place trying to cause a ruckus. 

_Start a self-defence school or learn how to defend yourself from home. We will give you everything that you need to get started. Teaching resources, administrative resources, business letters, promotional letters, practical templates, CV layouts, response forms, class timetables, tips, tactics and teaching techniques and much more._


This is what they say you can do after buying their course and reading though it for a week. Plus...


_The Close Protection Security Specialists are entitled to grant successful candidates with a Wu shi Dao Combat Protection Diploma for advanced training completed with them. This privilege permits the more experienced student to display the initials 'Dip CP' after their name during any formal event or meeting._

_Completed gradings will be added to our online database for verification. This database comes with full search functionality and is open to the public. It serves to prove your belt status. A number of poorly trained instructors are teaching half-baked methods, techniques and philosophies that will get you killed! The internet is a new way that we can spread the truth and possibly save a life or two!_


Obviously you wouldn't be one of those poorly trained instructors after buying their course! And if anyone doubts you, you can prove that you're a pro by showing them the website. Cool eh?


----------



## frank raud (Apr 8, 2006)

I'll now know how to immobilise a 48 stone man. I'm pleased he tells you how to do that as quite often in my town powerlifting giants go round the place trying to cause a ruckus. 

48 stone? You'll still be dealing with lightweights.  Your 672 lb powerlifters(phhffft!!!) would quake with fear at just one look at the 848 lb(60 stone)
behemoths my mad skillz  would allow me to handle. Now I just need to find me a 1/2 ton man to make it a real challenge to my abilities.


----------



## MartialIntent (Apr 8, 2006)

Guys, you just ain't reading this right. I mean, is it genuine? Well of course it is - it's "_guaranteed_" and not just 90% guaranteed but the full 100%. Therefore should you purchase and *not* develop sufficient proficiency in "Dim Mak" and the "controversial Death Touch" to annihilate your boss, KO all your inconsiderate neighbors, and just destroy random people in the subway, then you'll get your money back no questions, _right_?

Sounds almost too good to be true. I wonder what that means? It's endorsed by Japan Karate Union, US Fighting Academy and Pro Bodyguard Guild International who must all be so totally clandestine and covert, they're not even found on Google. 

And furthermore, scores of buyers have given good positive feedback and they can't all be idiots now can they?  Hehe.

Respects!


----------



## Xue Sheng (Apr 8, 2006)

1 week.

I can get you a black belt quicker than that guaranteed. Of course it may cost a little more with ordering and using overnight deliverybut youll have a black belt and I even throw in a complimentary Louisville slugger for the self-defense part of the deal.


----------



## FearlessFreep (Apr 8, 2006)

I thought that the fact that the keywords in the title included "Manga" says a lot.   I like Manga as much as the next geek but I don't think I'll be working on Ranma Saotome's "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire Attack" anytime soon and Alita's _Panzer Kunst_ is just way out of my league


----------



## MJS (Apr 8, 2006)

**Mod Note**

Thread moved to Horror Stories

MJS
MT Mod


----------



## Kacey (Apr 8, 2006)

_Discover how to immobilize a full grown man who is 4x your weight and strength!

_What if you're attacked by a half-grown girl?  Does it still work?  And is it still guaranteed?  Or is it only effective on full-grown men 4 times your own size?

_I will reveal to you exactly how you can get anything you want using 'mental' martial arts!"_

Now... this sounds interesting... I want $1,000,000, and world peace... do you think I should buy this system?  (not!)


----------



## FearlessFreep (Apr 8, 2006)

_What if you're attacked by a half-grown girl?_

What happens to you if *she* knows these techniques?


----------



## green meanie (Apr 8, 2006)

FearlessFreep said:
			
		

> _What if you're attacked by a half-grown girl?_
> 
> What happens to you if *she* knows these techniques?


 
It tears a hole in the time-space continuum.


----------



## FearlessFreep (Apr 8, 2006)

green meanie said:
			
		

> It tears a hole in the time-space continuum.



Well, that makes us much sense as any of the rest of it I suppose..


----------



## HKphooey (Apr 10, 2006)

Bring on the "X-Ray Glasses!"

That ad is old school comic book!


----------



## still learning (Apr 10, 2006)

swiftpete said:
			
		

> Check this out. This guy is selling such a fantastic system that he says you'll be black belt level in only 1 week. Also as he says you'll be able to win every fight in just one move!
> 
> *I will personally show you*
> *how to win ANY fight*
> ...


 
The answer is obivous...just one move?  ....move to another state or move out of the way.  You can win by staying or win by moving?  ..so it is moving here.

Train you to the level of a black belt.  What does this level means?  .. be able to throw a punch or do a kick, the same way as a black belt does?  Is there another way to learn this?  White belts learn to do it the way the black belts do it!   .....just having some fun here....Aloha


----------



## Flying Crane (Apr 10, 2006)

swiftpete said:
			
		

> _ This privilege permits the more experienced student to display the initials 'Dip CP' after their name during any formal event or meeting._


 
I don't know about the rest of you, but I would never display the letters "DIP CP" after my name, for any reason.


----------



## Xue Sheng (Apr 10, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> I don't know about the rest of you, but I would never display the letters "DIP CP" after my name, for any reason.


 
Agreed, but if anyone were get into this and pay for the program, it may actually be appropriate.


----------



## Hand Sword (Apr 11, 2006)

green meanie said:
			
		

> Perhaps even faster. Just depends on how long it takes for your check to clear.


 

Good Advice! I'll use a money order.


----------



## Hand Sword (Apr 11, 2006)

This no training stuff is sounding real good at this time. I've been killing myself getting back into it, after a good while. No more sore muscles, feeling tired, and putting aside time? Sounds great!


----------



## BrandiJo (Apr 11, 2006)

dude you mean i can actuly not train and be good? wtf and i wasting my time for!!!! sign me up. and i will proudly display the dip cp next to my name...... when pigs fly


----------

