# The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School



## Bob Hubbard (Oct 25, 2001)

The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School

 13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.

 12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
     into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.

 11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
     spilled pocket protector.

 10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
     are just slices of old cheese.

  9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.

  8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
     the Three Stooges.

  7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
     quizzes" in dark alleys.

  6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.

  5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
     end.

  4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does 
     not exist in this dojo!"

  3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying 
     to tie your belt on.

  2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
     neighbors when he moved in.


             and the Number 1 Sign You've 
         Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...


  1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a 
     can of whoop-***" on someone?



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## D_Brady (Mar 24, 2003)

I always liked this one and I thought I'd bring it back.


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## Master of Blades (Mar 24, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> *
> 
> 5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
> ...



Damn.....guess I gotta find a new school :rofl:


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## Seig (Mar 25, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Master of Blades _
> *Damn.....guess I gotta find a new school :rofl: *


You wouldn't be such an easy target if you took the pocket protector off.


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## cali_tkdbruin (Mar 25, 2003)

That was amusing...


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## Yari (Mar 25, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> *
> 2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
> neighbors when he moved in.
> ...



And I thought it was getting your clothes washed...:rofl: :rofl: 


/yari

It's a hint to an old commercial from the 60-70's.


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## Jill666 (Mar 25, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> *  7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in dark alleys.
> *



Heh- maybe I should suggest that. Then he'd stop telling me I should take more privates.


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## Cliarlaoch (Mar 25, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz _
> *
> and the Number 1 Sign You've
> Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...
> ...



Ah. Confucius jokes seeping into brain again. New thread, perhaps? (Muahahahaah)


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