# "Personal Safety" Seminar



## Laurentkd (Apr 7, 2007)

Hello all,

On Thursday I am teaching a "personal safety" seminar for senior girls at my local high school.  I have done a lot of women's self defense seminars (especially while I was in college) but I am excited about this one, because they don't want any actual physical involvement, which should be interesting! Due to legal worries.. Basically they don't want me really working on techniques with them, but instead talk about what to do BEFORE the need arises (for example travel in groups, don't accept drinks from people, etc).  Basically it's to sort of prepare them for the college scene.  While I normally teach some basic techniques, I think this total focus on preventative maintenance is important and can be very beneficial, as they are way more likely to be able to remember and use these tips than they ever would some technique they practiced with me one time back in high school.  

Anyway, the purpose of my post is.... this is the first seminar like this I have taught since joining MT, and I am wondering if anyone here has anything that I don't normally talk about, and maybe I can add it to my "spiel."

So, if you would, share the tips you think are most important, or the ones you use the most.  I am sure many of us will have most of the same tips, but maybe we can all pick up a couple new things from each other.


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## Carol (Apr 8, 2007)

From personal experience, I'd say something very important to stress is being careful when out at night and to avoid being out too late. 

Last year I started working nights for the first time in my career and it has been eye-opening.  I've stopped for a soda at a small store and narrowly missed seeing it get robbed.  I've gotte gas at a brightly lit gas station and saw some creep sneak out from behind the pumps and approach me.  I've stopped at a 24 hour drug store and had to call 911 while in the store due to trouble that has broken out.   I regularly see drivers on the interstate driving erratically, and I also see policement pulling them over.

I don't work in the city or live in a bad neighborhood.  In fact the areas of New England where I live and work sport some of the lowest crime statistics in the country.  But, compared to daytime, there is a greater percentage of people out that cause trouble either intentionally (hoodlums) or unintentionally (someone that's had too much to drink).  Couple that with the fact that most police forces run a bit lean during the late night hours and that just ends up tipping the odds unfavorably.

I don't know how you can tell this to a stubborn highschooler and be convincing.  I probably would have scoffed at the advice a bit but...I think its worth bringing up. 

Good luck!


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## terryl965 (Apr 8, 2007)

I agree with Carol and good luck with your seminar.


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## Kacey (Apr 8, 2007)

Lauren, I have a handout you can use - it's attached to this post.  If you'd like the version with pictures, PM me with an email address and I'll send it to you.  The statistics don't have the web addresses on them, but they do have the name of the source, so you should be able to update them.  You can also look here for more statistics - since it's from a university and aimed at college-aged students, that might have a bigger impact than some of the crime sites.


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## kidswarrior (Apr 8, 2007)

All of the high schoolers I work with are boys, so don't have any brilliant insights to add (sorry--the girls are all in the K-5 'Goofy' class). But I noticed something in what Carol said. She uses her head to stay safe: called 911, had an awareness of the creep emerging form the shadows at the gas station, watches for erratic drivers, etc. That awareness is 99% of self-defense, IMHO. And thank God, it's proven true for Carol. I noticed that she didn't get to use her Combat Silat skills even once.  Lucky for the bad guys.


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## Grenadier (Apr 9, 2007)

One of the seminars I attended focused on something similar.  The point that was hammered home, was awareness, as well as explaining the folly of putting too much faith in "go to brightly lit areas," etc.  

Now, I certainly do agree, that going to brightly lit areas is better than to dark areas, but Carol's example from above, should be proof, that people will come up to you, regardless of how "secure" an area may really be.  

Does this border on paranoia?  Maybe, but it's better to prepare for the event that never occurs, than to be caught unprepared for the one that does.


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## Drac (Apr 9, 2007)

You've recieved some excellent advice..I cannot add anything except my wishes for an *oustanding* and *successful *seminar...


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## shesulsa (Apr 9, 2007)

Lauren, I have a good handout for exactly that purpose but I won't publish it here on MT without permission from my instructor as most of it is his material.   He worked in law enforcement, security, security management and personal protection for many years.

I'll fax or email it to you if you like.


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## Laurentkd (Apr 9, 2007)

Grenadier said:


> Does this border on paranoia? Maybe, but it's better to prepare for the event that never occurs, than to be caught unprepared for the one that does.


 
Excellent point!! I might even quote you on this if you don't mind!!


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## Laurentkd (Apr 9, 2007)

I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Keeping in mind that this is a talk for seniors in high school getting ready to go off to college, some aspects I am planning on including are:

Never go to a second location.  Wherever they take you is going to be better for them and worse for you, so do whatever you can to get away initially.

Along with this, whatever the "bad guy" says, do the opposite.  Whatever he tells you not to do is what he is afraid you will do.  So if he says don't scream, don't fight back, hold still etc, do exactly the opposite.  Anything they tell you is to make the situation better for them, don't let that happen!  Don't wait for a "better opportunity" to try to escape, the longer you are with him the better he is going to make the situation for him (the bad guy).

Fight! Fight! Fight! and leave marks! Go for the face/eyes with your nails, fingers, palms, fists anything.  If you leave marks there is no way it can be considered "consensual" (I feel this is especially important in date rape type situations).  

Never go to a party alone, and never leave alone.  If you go with a group (which you should) you stay with the group the entire time.  No one goes home with a guy that night.  Get a phone number and make the guy take you out on a date (in a safe location), don't just "hook up" that night.

Meet at a location for a date.  Don't drive together initially, and don't "hang out" at one or the other's dorm room (I hate this aspect of college-- I never let a guy take me out on a date which only involved sitting in his room watching a movie, but most dates are just this).

There was a good thread on having a "code word" not to long ago, I am going to look that one up. 



OK, so those are a few of mine... anyone else have others?


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## MJS (Apr 9, 2007)

Laurentkd said:


> Hello all,
> 
> On Thursday I am teaching a "personal safety" seminar for senior girls at my local high school. I have done a lot of women's self defense seminars (especially while I was in college) but I am excited about this one, because they don't want any actual physical involvement, which should be interesting! Due to legal worries.. Basically they don't want me really working on techniques with them, but instead talk about what to do BEFORE the need arises (for example travel in groups, don't accept drinks from people, etc). Basically it's to sort of prepare them for the college scene. While I normally teach some basic techniques, I think this total focus on preventative maintenance is important and can be very beneficial, as they are way more likely to be able to remember and use these tips than they ever would some technique they practiced with me one time back in high school.
> 
> ...


 
Seeing that you're limited with what you can teach, I'd focus on overall safety and awareness skills.  Being aware of whats going on around them, having their keys already in their hand, walk with a group if possible, watch what they're drinking.  Not alcohol per se, but anything they drink.  Leaving a drink unattended leaves the door open for someone to slip something in, which can disorient them, etc.

Mike


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## morph4me (Apr 9, 2007)

MJS said:


> Seeing that you're limited with what you can teach, I'd focus on overall safety and awareness skills. Being aware of whats going on around them, having their keys already in their hand, walk with a group if possible, watch what they're drinking. Not alcohol per se, but anything they drink. Leaving a drink unattended leaves the door open for someone to slip something in, which can disorient them, etc.
> 
> Mike


 
To would take this an extra step, if they leave thier drinks to go to the ladies room or dance or whatever, even if they leave them with friends, get a new one when they return, their friends are there to have a good time and may be distracted. I taught my daughter to keep her hand on her glass, or her bottle resting on the top, and her bottle in her hand, when she was out.


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## shesulsa (Apr 9, 2007)

The thing I try to impress is that it's not just self-defense it's Self Protection, Life Defense and that Personal Safety is a way of living, daily choices, manner of being.

I try to point out several times during the course of seminars I've given that there's smart living and then there's paranoia.  There's no need to walk around afraid of every possible thing, and there are many people who do all the right things and get attacked anyway, though those accounts are fewer than easy victims.

Generally, our society is used to assigning our safety to other people when the opposite is true - we are responsible for much of our own safety in the way we walk, where we go and the choices we make.


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## Bigshadow (Apr 9, 2007)

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.  It should give you TONS of things to work with.  It would certainly be worth suggesting THEY read it as well.


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## jks9199 (Apr 9, 2007)

Laurentkd said:


> I really appreciate everyone's feedback. Keeping in mind that this is a talk for seniors in high school getting ready to go off to college, some aspects I am planning on including are:
> 
> Never go to a second location.  Wherever they take you is going to be better for them and worse for you, so do whatever you can to get away initially.
> 
> ...



You've got good points in there; I'd contact one of the colleges in your area (or some that you know the kids are likely to attend) and see what they advise you mention.

Remind them to learn how to call for police and fire/EMS help; at the college or in a nearby apartment, it may not be 911.  They should also know the basics of how to report a crime (including to look up the non-emergency number ahead of time as well as knowing how to call in an emergency), from talking to the dispatcher (address & location, description of what happened/what's going on/injuries, etc.) through to following up with the cop afterwards.  And not to be afraid to report suspicious people, etc. -- and not to be afraid to use campus escort services, either.

I've got one minor disagreement; marks alone do not prove a non-consensual encounter, and thinking that way sets up what I consider to be a poor mindset.  Marks SUPPORT the victims statements that something was non-consensual -- but you've still got to say no, in no uncertain terms.  

On that note -- while you can't practice physical techniques with them, if time permits, I would encourage you to practice saying NO! with them.  Ideally one at a time...  I've got one high school girl in my class that I'm afraid won't be able to convincingly say no & mean it because "it's not ladylike" despite practicing in class...


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## Laurentkd (Apr 9, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It should give you TONS of things to work with. It would certainly be worth suggesting THEY read it as well.


 

I have read several recommendations about this book here, seems I really need to get my hands on it!


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## ArmorOfGod (Apr 9, 2007)

Lauren,
Please follow up how your seminar goes after you are done with it.  I am going to be giving the same kind at my church (aimed at women) and would love to hear what worked or didn't work at yours.

AoG


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## Nomad (Apr 10, 2007)

"No" is a complete sentence.  Anything you say afterwards qualifies it, shifts the focus, and gives the person you said it to something to hang onto and bargain with.  If you're uncomfortable for _any_ reason, don't worry about being rude!  (directly borrowed from "The Gift of Fear", but IMO one of the most useful pieces of advice from it.

If you are thinking of carrying a weapon for self-defense, realize that it can be used against you, and is very likely to be unless you have been trained to use it properly.  It can also give a false sense of security which may lead you to poorer choices (I'm safe in taking a shortcut through this dark alley because I have a knife in my purse!).


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## avm247 (Apr 10, 2007)

1) Buddy system.  Never go alone, anywhere.   
2) ALWAYS let someone know where you are, when you will be back, and who you are going with.
3) Keep a cell phone 
4) Carry a whistle on the key chain (or at least make it easy access).
5a) Walk to the car with your keys in your hand, especially at night.
5b) Check out the car before getting in (especially the back seat and perhaps under the car/truck/SUV).
6) Most universities have a service to escort/accompany students to their cars, especially late at night.
7)  Always carry ID.
8)  Know thier limits especially with alcohol. 
9)  Designate a driver.
10) Possibly discuss consequences of "hooking up" (STD, rape...)
11) Discuss "date rape"
12) I would never leave a drink unattended in a group of people I don't know. 
13) Call parents at least once a day to let them know they are okay.

Yeah, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but letting the folks know that their little girl is okay is great for their well being.  I have a coworker whose daughter calls here everday at a specific time to let her know whats going on that way they are comfortable with her going to school out of state.


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## Laurentkd (Apr 10, 2007)

ArmorOfGod said:


> Lauren,
> Please follow up how your seminar goes after you are done with it. I am going to be giving the same kind at my church (aimed at women) and would love to hear what worked or didn't work at yours.
> 
> AoG


 
will do!


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## Kacey (Apr 10, 2007)

avm247 said:


> 13) Call parents at least once a day to let them know they are okay.
> 
> Yeah, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but letting the folks know that their little girl is okay is great for their well being.  I have a coworker whose daughter calls here everday at a specific time to let her know whats going on that way they are comfortable with her going to school out of state.



There's always email... if I talked to my mother every day, one (or both) of us would rapidly go nuts - email I can handle!  It's also a lot easier to fit into a variable schedule.


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## avm247 (Apr 10, 2007)

Kacey said:


> There's always email... if I talked to my mother every day, one (or both) of us would rapidly go nuts - email I can handle!  It's also a lot easier to fit into a variable schedule.



Email is just as good.  I call mom once a week.  Outside of that it gets tough.


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## ArmorOfGod (Apr 10, 2007)

avm247 said:


> 1) Buddy system. Never go alone, anywhere.
> 2) ALWAYS let someone know where you are, when you will be back, and who you are going with.
> 3) Keep a cell phone
> 4) Carry a whistle on the key chain (or at least make it easy access).
> ...


 
This is a very good post.  Also, he mentioned cell phones.  You could tell the students that even a cell phone that hasn't been paid on will still dial 911.  So, if you have an old cell phone put away in a drawer, charge it up and it becomes a 911 phone.  
Also, you can buy one of those $15 track phones at Wal-Mart and it will dial 911 even without buying any airtime for it.

AoG


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## Drac (Apr 10, 2007)

ArmorOfGod said:


> You could tell the students that even a cell phone that hasn't been paid on will still dial 911. So, if you have an old cell phone put away in a drawer, charge it up and it becomes a 911 phone.
> Also, you can buy one of those $15 track phones at Wal-Mart and it will dial 911 even without buying any airtime for it


 
The only problem dialing 911 on a cell phone is that it connects you to CECOMS and NOT the PD in the city you are in..You will have to provide that information to their operator...So it's a good idea that if you leave your normal stomping grounds to know WHERE you are..


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## Drac (Apr 10, 2007)

Drac said:


> The only problem dialing 911 on a cell phone is that it connects you to CECOMS and NOT the PD in the city you are in..You will have to provide that information to their operator...So it's a good idea that if you leave your normal stomping grounds to know WHERE you are..


 
I was just informed that CECOMS is only up here in Ohio in Cuyahoga County...Maybe the cells in other cities will dial up the local boys..It be good information to have BEFORE an emergency occurs


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## jks9199 (Apr 10, 2007)

Drac said:


> The only problem dialing 911 on a cell phone is that it connects you to CECOMS and NOT the PD in the city you are in..You will have to provide that information to their operator...So it's a good idea that if you leave your normal stomping grounds to know WHERE you are..





Drac said:


> I was just informed that CECOMS is only up here in Ohio in Cuyahoga County...Maybe the cells in other cities will dial up the local boys..It be good information to have BEFORE an emergency occurs



Since I had to learn about this because I had to learn enough to dispatch when the real dispatchers were off...

Dial 911 on a cell phone, and your call will generally be routed to the appropriate Public Safety Call Center for the cell phone tower that picked up the call.  In some cases, newer systems MAY route it to the jurisdiction that the cell phone's GPS says it's in -- but I wouldn't rely on that.  Generally, it's the tower.  Now -- if you have a regionall PSCC that dispatches fire/EMS & police for several agencies, you're probably fine unless you happen to be close to the border.  But if you're in an area where multiple jurisdictions have their own PSCCs -- it's kind of a crapshoot.  You'll get a PSCC... but it may not be the right one for where you're standing.  Where I live, for example, I'm actually within the margin of error for 3 separate jurisdictions, each with their own PSCCs that dispatch everything.  Or, where I work, the calls go to the county's PSCC because they dispatch all the fire & rescue in the county...  Call takers sort out the police calls, and hopefully transfer to the proper agency.  They don't always have the best understanding of the borders, though...  The newest versions of Enhanced-911 are improving this, because they're giving more accurate location information based on reverse phone lookups, GPS information and other sources of information about where a call is coming from.  Note also that Voice Over Internet Protocol type calls are an even bigger nightmare for 911 calls...  I seem to recall that their ads even warn that it's not reliable for calling 911 or something to similar effect.

Don't get me wrong; I'm *not *saying don't call 911.  In an emergency, it's lots easier to remember -- though you need to be aware that 911 is NOT universal; there are still places without 911 service.  (I don't know what a cell phone 911 call would do in a case like that.)  It's also sometimes faster if you know the local police number to dial them directly, especially for non-emergency calls.  

When you call 911, always give your location.  They'll ask you for it anyway, but give it out quickly.  They ask because all that reverse lookup stuff... it can be wrong!  (There's a block in our town that comes up on the wrong side of town according to the computers...  And the techs can't convince the computers otherwise, apparently.)  State the nature of the problem and stay on the line and answer the call taker's questions. ("I'm at Big Money University; I'm in front of the student union at 121 College Street, and some guy just hit my friend and ran off.")  Street addresses are great -- and landmarks can help in case you get the address wrong.

Never be afraid to call about suspicious people.  We'd much rather find out that Mr. Jones is just out watering the plants than respond tomorrow to a rape or assault or worse.


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## Tez3 (Apr 11, 2007)

Don't shout for 'help' or shout 'rape' shout FIRE! People will take notice then.
Don't walk down the road using your mobile phone for texting or calling. It mean you are distracted and not aware. A thief may be well target the mobile anyway.


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## Laurentkd (Apr 13, 2007)

Ok everyone, so my seminar went really well!
It was for senior girls in high school while the underclassmen were taking standardized tests.  So the girls could basically sleep in for 2 hours or come to my seminar.  I ended up with 40 girls (out of probably 150), which I thought was a good turn out.  The teacher who organized it had a couple of the girls read little paragraphs stating some general things, like statistics about rapes on campus, etc (I have copies of it I can post here in the future for anyone interested).  Then I went all to talk about safety tips when alone, when at a party, and when on a date. We briefly talked about what to do if you are assaulted (it's not your fault, don't shower, tell someone so he can't do it to anyone else, etc).
 Then we talked about what to do if you are feeling threatened or actually IN a threatening situation.  As I said before, we weren't supposed to get up and practice physical moves, so instead I got them all yelling no, and then I would have someone put me in a compromised situation (someone grab my hair, someone grab me around the neck, etc) and I said to them, "ok instead of freaking out that I am in this situation, what weapons do I still have to use, and where can I use them."  I thought getting them to say "oh! Even though someone grabs me around the waist I can still kick and bite and strike with my head" etc.  My purpose wasn't to teach them actual techniques (as we couldn't practice them) but instead impress upon them that you can fight back no matter what and you SHOULD fight fight fight!!  We also went on to talk about not going to second locations, not waiting for a "better" time to fight back etc.  
This is just a brief overview of what was covered.  Like I said, I'll post or email exactly what I did for anyone who is interested. One thing that I was especially happy about was that I talked about what to do if you were assaulted first, and THEN talking about what to do to prevent it.  As I was covering the "what to do after" part all the girls got really quiet and weren't really making eye contact; I could tell they were uncomfortable.  So I am really glad I didn't END with that stuff, and instead followed it with the exciting stuff and ended it on a real high note.

I was really happy with how it all turned out. All the girls were interested and really got involved.  What was especially great was that I had everyone talking and discussing, asking them what they thought was a good idea or what they had heard before, rather than just me lecturing, which makes it much more fun to teach and much more fun for them. 

I was really nervous going in to talk to high school girls, not knowing if they would really value it like I thought they should.  I was afraid they would be bored with it or not want to really participate, but I was pleasantly surprised! A lot of them afterwords told me how much they enjoyed it, how they hoped I would come back again, and even asked me how they could get more training.

Overall, it was a great experience! If you have the opportunity to do something like this yourself take advantage of it! I just really hope that they remember the tips I gave them, and who knows, it might just save someone's life someday!


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## Drac (Apr 14, 2007)

Glad to hear it went well for you..I was pleased to hear you impressed upon them to *fight, fight, fight..*


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## Kacey (Apr 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> Glad to hear it went well for you..I was pleased to hear you impressed upon them to *fight, fight, fight..*



Yeah - what Drac said!


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## terryl965 (Apr 14, 2007)

Drac said:


> Glad to hear it went well for you..I was pleased to hear you impressed upon them to *fight, fight, fight..*


 

I agree with Drac


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