# horror story for all you guys...



## gyaku-zuki queen (Aug 18, 2004)

ok this section is about horror stories... heres a true story.. most likely horror for all of you guys. 

Edmonton, (Canada) 2004 National Championships. Junior Team Kumite Finals. Ontario Vs Quebec. 
Quebec guy is in the lead by about 3 points. Ontario is still in there. as its team kumite, finals, it was intense. almost everyone in the whole arena was watching it. (i mean team kumite finals? pretty much the beggest event  )
then it happens. ontario guy is coming in with a jodan mawashi (kick to the head) quebec guy kicks too. right where it hurts.. 
the guy gets knocked up in the air, and you (seroious no joke) hear the echo of the cup breaking in the arena. then he falls flat on the mat. 
dead silence in the whole arena for about 5 seconds.. 
then all the guys cry out at once.. gurls are jus like: oh *****...
i'm looking over at the other guys on my team... 3 of them are almost in tears.. one was...

surprisingly.. they didnt disqualify the quebec guy.. they won the match.


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## Bammx2 (Aug 18, 2004)

aw damn................................:erg:


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## Sarah (Aug 18, 2004)

http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001


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## Raewyn (Aug 18, 2004)

In thoe cases I am so so glad Im female!!!


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## Mark Weiser (Aug 18, 2004)

The image of the foot coming into contact with that part of the body with enough force to crack the CUP!!!! 

My Skin crawls with eeccckkkk! I think that the guy had to be sure he did not want anymore children.


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## MA-Caver (Aug 19, 2004)

Raisin said:
			
		

> In thoe cases I am so so glad Im female!!!



Well if it happened to YOU I think it probably would've been a lot worse don't cha think? 

But still... "cracking the cup" is gonna be a new catch-phrase for :btg: geez loo-weeze! 

Singing a-capella for the rest of his life. I got the image of the guy who got it in the opening fight sequence of Hot Shots: Part Deux; he spat up a pair of walnuts...then :"...._you wwiiiinnn_"


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## Raewyn (Aug 19, 2004)

MACaver said:
			
		

> Well if it happened to YOU I think it probably would've been a lot worse don't cha think?
> 
> But still... "cracking the cup" is gonna be a new catch-phrase for :btg: geez loo-weeze!
> 
> Singing a-capella for the rest of his life. I got the image of the guy who got it in the opening fight sequence of Hot Shots: Part Deux; he spat up a pair of walnuts...then :"...._you wwiiiinnn_"


 If I had balls it would!!!!!


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## hardheadjarhead (Aug 19, 2004)

I imagine that guy who got kicked is a little teste over this situation.  I'd go nuts over this if it happened to me.  It'd make me downright crotchety.  First I think I'd ball my eyes out, and then after recovering I suppose I'd groin ask the guy _why_ he kicked so low.

Gonad your thoughts to this.  I'd be interested in hearing them.

Regards,


Steve


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## Ceicei (Aug 19, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> I imagine that guy who got kicked is a little teste over this situation. I'd go nuts over this if it happened to me. It'd make me downright crotchety. First I think I'd ball my eyes out, and then after recovering I suppose I'd groin ask the guy _why_ he kicked so low.
> 
> Gonad your thoughts to this. I'd be interested in hearing them.
> 
> ...


:rofl: Steve!!  You're truly a joy to be around here on MartialTalk!!!

- Ceicei


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## DavidCC (Aug 19, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> I imagine that guy who got kicked is a little teste over this situation
> Regards,
> 
> Steve


I'm sure it actually became much larger.


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## jfarnsworth (Aug 19, 2004)

I'm glad it was him and not me. :asian:


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## Ceicei (Aug 19, 2004)

MACaver said:
			
		

> Well if it happened to YOU I think it probably would've been a lot worse don't cha think?


Hurt females worse? I don't think so. For us females, the only thing between the "boot" and us is just muscle to the bone. For you guys... there is "something else" besides the muscle, as you already know--unless you want me to practice that technique, Squatting Sacrifice, again on you for your review.

- Ceicei


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## OULobo (Aug 19, 2004)

Alright, since we are on the subject. I have one I heard, I don't remember where. It supposedly happened in the UK at a soccer (football) game. Two players try full swing kicks at the ball at the same time and the one misses the ball. He falls to the turf crying and the medics find his hip is dislocated. The one EMT decides to put it back. So he sits down, and he puts a foot in the guy's armpit and one on the guy's other leg for leverage. He grabs the leg with both arms and pulls it into the socket. He hears the pop and the injured guy starts screaming and thrashing. The guys nut shifted in front of the socket and was in the way when the hip joint fell into place. The little man was crushed in the hip joint and they can't pull the leg back out. Now for a moment of silence, contemplation and recovery.


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## Ceicei (Aug 19, 2004)

OULobo said:
			
		

> Alright, since we are on the subject. I have one I heard, I don't remember where. It supposedly happened in the UK at a soccer (football) game. Two players try full swing kicks at the ball at the same time and the one misses the ball. He falls to the turf crying and the medics find his hip is dislocated. The one EMT decides to put it back. So he sits down, and he puts a foot in the guy's armpit and one on the guy's other leg for leverage. He grabs the leg with both arms and pulls it into the socket. He hears the pop and the injured guy starts screaming and thrashing. The guys nut shifted in front of the socket and was in the way when the hip joint fell into place. The little man was crushed in the hip joint and they can't pull the leg back out. Now for a moment of silence, contemplation and recovery.


That took my breath away in amazement!!! It sure makes me GLAD I'm a female....

- Ceicei


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## Baytor (Aug 19, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> I imagine that guy who got kicked is a little teste over this situation. I'd go nuts over this if it happened to me. It'd make me downright crotchety. First I think I'd ball my eyes out, and then after recovering I suppose I'd groin ask the guy _why_ he kicked so low.
> 
> Gonad your thoughts to this. I'd be interested in hearing them.
> 
> ...


 
:roflmao:


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## bignick (Aug 19, 2004)

DEAR GOD!!!   I just about threw up sitting in front of my computer...the worst part is...as probably most guys will attest to...when we hear these stories we can almost feel the pain...


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## JPR (Aug 19, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> I imagine that guy who got kicked is a little teste over this situation. I'd go nuts over this if it happened to me. It'd make me downright crotchety. First I think I'd ball my eyes out, and then after recovering I suppose I'd groin ask the guy _why_ he kicked so low.
> 
> Gonad your thoughts to this. I'd be interested in hearing them.
> 
> ...


I think I am going to check just exactly what is in you coffee cup the next time I'm in!  Scary, really scary.

JPR


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## OUMoose (Aug 19, 2004)

OULobo said:
			
		

> Alright, since we are on the subject. I have one I heard, I don't remember where. It supposedly happened in the UK at a soccer (football) game. Two players try full swing kicks at the ball at the same time and the one misses the ball. He falls to the turf crying and the medics find his hip is dislocated. The one EMT decides to put it back. So he sits down, and he puts a foot in the guy's armpit and one on the guy's other leg for leverage. He grabs the leg with both arms and pulls it into the socket. He hears the pop and the injured guy starts screaming and thrashing. The guys nut shifted in front of the socket and was in the way when the hip joint fell into place. The little man was crushed in the hip joint and they can't pull the leg back out. Now for a moment of silence, contemplation and recovery.


 :anic: 

 :mst:


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## Scout_379 (Aug 19, 2004)

_


			
				OULobo said:
			
		


Alright, since we are on the subject. I have one I heard, I don't remember where. It supposedly happened in the UK at a soccer (football) game. Two players try full swing kicks at the ball at the same time and the one misses the ball. He falls to the turf crying and the medics find his hip is dislocated. The one EMT decides to put it back. So he sits down, and he puts a foot in the guy's armpit and one on the guy's other leg for leverage. He grabs the leg with both arms and pulls it into the socket. He hears the pop and the injured guy starts screaming and thrashing. The guys nut shifted in front of the socket and was in the way when the hip joint fell into place. The little man was crushed in the hip joint and they can't pull the leg back out. Now for a moment of silence, contemplation and recovery.

Click to expand...

 _

_O...M...G..._
_*screams...runs from computer*_


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## Kenpo Mama (Aug 19, 2004)

OULobo said:
			
		

> Alright, since we are on the subject. I have one I heard, I don't remember where. It supposedly happened in the UK at a soccer (football) game. Two players try full swing kicks at the ball at the same time and the one misses the ball. He falls to the turf crying and the medics find his hip is dislocated. The one EMT decides to put it back. So he sits down, and he puts a foot in the guy's armpit and one on the guy's other leg for leverage. He grabs the leg with both arms and pulls it into the socket. He hears the pop and the injured guy starts screaming and thrashing. The guys nut shifted in front of the socket and was in the way when the hip joint fell into place. The little man was crushed in the hip joint and they can't pull the leg back out. Now for a moment of silence, contemplation and recovery.


 
YOWZA!!!!  That is just really, really painful to think about!  OUCH!!!!  I keep hearing a popping and crunching sound over and over again.  YECH!!!!

Ooooo i've got the willies!!!!

Donna


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## Gary Crawford (Aug 19, 2004)

I wish I had $1000 for everytime I've been nailed in the peaches,I'd have about $20,000


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## Mark Weiser (Aug 19, 2004)

the wantabe doctor needs to be thrashed within an inch of his life.


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## MA-Caver (Aug 19, 2004)

Raisin said:
			
		

> If I had balls it would!!!!!



Oh a scardy cat huh? Huh? No balls!  You po' thing you... (hee hee j/k)


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## TigerWoman (Aug 19, 2004)

Did anybody hear about them both what happened to them afterward. I guess that would probably not be publicized. I have never heard a more terrible story...its probably going to give the guys nightmares!~ TW


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## MA-Caver (Aug 19, 2004)

Ceicei said:
			
		

> Hurt females worse? I don't think so. For us females, the only thing between the "boot" and us is just muscle to the bone. For you guys... there is "something else" besides the muscle, as you already know--unless you want me to practice that technique, Squatting Sacrifice, again on you for your review.
> 
> - Ceicei



Anytime you want to try that again hunny, I'm ready... remember I bought a cup! 
Sooo... c'mon wif yer bad self! fft ffftt 


 :xtrmshock w-wa-wait a second... I ...dang it! Left my cup at home... I'll be right back!


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## Ceicei (Aug 19, 2004)

MACaver said:
			
		

> Anytime you want to try that again hunny, I'm ready... remember I bought a cup!
> Sooo... c'mon wif yer bad self! fft ffftt
> 
> :xtrmshock w-wa-wait a second... I ...dang it! Left my cup at home... I'll be right back!




  - Ceicei


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## hardheadjarhead (Aug 20, 2004)

JPR said:
			
		

> I think I am going to check just exactly what is in you coffee cup the next time I'm in!  Scary, really scary.
> 
> JPR





Well, it seems to be some hard, crusty, gunky stuff.  I don't think my wife washed it out real well after someone dunked their cookies.  Looks like oatmeal.

Back to topic...having had a testicle crushed, I can empathize with this guy.   What happens after this is that your grape essentially shrivels into a raisin.  (Sorry, Raisin...it was the only metaphor that worked.)  For about a week after the kick it swelled to the size of an orange...albeit a seedless orange.  The banana was out of line of the kick, and suffered no damage, although it was some time before it could be peeled with any enthusiasm.

Most would not consider this a fruitful experience.

Euphemistically yours,


Steve


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## bignick (Aug 20, 2004)

the double entendre in this thread has left me speechless....truly i am in the presence of masters


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## Lisa (Aug 20, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> Back to topic...having had a testicle crushed, I can empathize with this guy. What happens after this is that your grape essentially shrivels into a raisin. (Sorry, Raisin...it was the only metaphor that worked.) For about a week after the kick it swelled to the size of an orange...albeit a seedless orange. The banana was out of line of the kick, and suffered no damage, although it was some time before it could be peeled with any enthusiasm.
> 
> Most would not consider this a fruitful experience.
> 
> ...


:rofl: 

Steve, you certainly have a way with words!


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## The Kai (Aug 20, 2004)

I remember.... A tournament in the early 80's.  Two Tkd'ist despirtley trying to kick each other in the head (flashs of white uniforms and loud yells).  One guy chambers his knee really high, and of course takes on to the nads.  What we did'nt know until about 3 seconds further was the kicked gentleman brough a cup, but no jock.  His solution?  Slide the cup inside his briefs (being the 80's) were snug enough to hold the cup in place.

We heard a crack as the cup broke, and a rather louder scream as the two jagged ends meets soft, tender flesh.  with a White uniform on the wash of red was pronounced and immediate.
Some memories eh?
Todd


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## Ceicei (Aug 20, 2004)

The Kai said:
			
		

> I remember.... A tournament in the early 80's. Two Tkd'ist despirtley trying to kick each other in the head (flashs of white uniforms and loud yells). One guy chambers his knee really high, and of course takes on to the nads. What we did'nt know until about 3 seconds further was the kicked gentleman brough a cup, but no jock. His solution? Slide the cup inside his briefs (being the 80's) were snug enough to hold the cup in place.
> 
> We heard a crack as the cup broke, and a rather louder scream as the two jagged ends meets soft, tender flesh. with a White uniform on the wash of red was pronounced and immediate.
> Some memories eh?
> Todd


OOOWwwwww!  Maybe the guys should consider being totally neutered if they wish to make sparring their career.

- Ceicei


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## Ceicei (Aug 20, 2004)

hardheadjarhead said:
			
		

> Back to topic...having had a testicle crushed, I can empathize with this guy. What happens after this is that your grape essentially shrivels into a raisin. (Sorry, Raisin...it was the only metaphor that worked.) For about a week after the kick it swelled to the size of an orange...albeit a seedless orange. The banana was out of line of the kick, and suffered no damage, although it was some time before it could be peeled with any enthusiasm.
> 
> Most would not consider this a fruitful experience.
> 
> ...


Very eloquently put!  



- Ceicei


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## Insedia_Cantharis (Aug 20, 2004)

oooooooooooh... glad I'm female...

Whenever I here a guy in my MA class isn't wearing a cup, I recite a disclaimer before I fight him. "I take no responsability..."


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## Ceicei (Aug 20, 2004)

Insedia_Cantharis said:
			
		

> oooooooooooh... glad I'm female...
> 
> Whenever I here a guy in my MA class isn't wearing a cup, I recite a disclaimer before I fight him. "I take no responsability..."


The guys in my class learn quickly to be SURE to have their cup on.  I am one of the females that love to give hard groin shots.  For some reason, feeling that hard surface upon impact is satisfying because I know I targeted it right.

- Ceicei


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## gyaku-zuki queen (Aug 20, 2004)

TigerWoman said:
			
		

> Did anybody hear about them both what happened to them afterward. ITW


i think the ontario guy was fine... i didnt see him after, but i didnt hear anything bad either, and it was a hot topic that people were talking about. .. i hope so anyways


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## MA-Caver (Aug 21, 2004)

Ceicei said:
			
		

> The guys in my class learn quickly to be SURE to have their cup on.  I am one of the females that love to give hard groin shots.  For some reason, _feeling that hard surface upon impact is satisfying _ because I know I targeted it right.
> 
> - Ceicei



Freudian slip! 
I'm not going there, I'm not going there, I'am NOT going THERE!   :lol:


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## hardheadjarhead (Aug 22, 2004)

Ceicei said:
			
		

> The guys in my class learn quickly to be SURE to have their cup on.  I am one of the females that love to give hard groin shots.  For some reason, feeling that hard surface upon impact is satisfying because I know I targeted it right.
> 
> - Ceicei




Ooooh!  Ooooh!!!   I've got a GREAT idea!

We market a protective cup with a squeak toy device on it, so when you hit it you get a sound.  Or it could be like those honking squeeze bulb horns that clowns always carry.  We'll make a fortune.


Regards,


Steve


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## Lisa (Aug 22, 2004)

LOL! :uhyeah: 

When ever the subject of cups and who is wearing one and who isn't comes up during class, someone yells "Cup Check" and then we hear a series of knocking sounds from around the room!


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## MA-Caver (Aug 22, 2004)

Steve, I think that the cups should be clear and lined with LEDs so whenever there's a hit it'll flash bright enough under the GI to acknowledge a hit. The squeeker could be the start of a wonderful new technology... it'll also help judges at tourneys to give out points better... heh 

Nalia... the person doing the "Cup Check" should use a police baton and use that to tap... that'll really encourage males to use theirs... heh


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## bignick (Aug 22, 2004)

"Cup Check" had an entirley different meaning where i come from...in high school that's what somebody would say right before they'd check to see if you were wearing one...nothing like good old junior high humor


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## Jay Bell (Aug 22, 2004)

Friggin ouch!

I've read a lot of "I'm glad I'm female" posts...someone mentioned that the only thing between the boot is muscle and bone.  That isn't correct.  On top of the bone is the pubic nerve....so yes, females can most definately be racked...just not near to the extent that males can.

Again...FRIGGIN OUCH


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## Silat Student (Sep 1, 2004)

I think not wearing a cup in training does tremendous things for improving a guys relfexes. In some of the places I've trained in there are a coupla methods used on females that go for excessive groin shots.....the one that leaps to mind is "nippling".


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## BrandiJo (Oct 3, 2004)

im sorry but does OUCH come even close to that one? im a girl and im like nooooo thats just not right ...getting kicked in the jewels hard enuff to crack a cup thats just not cool


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## Zepp (Oct 4, 2004)

The cup I have said "Shatter Proof" on the package.  I have to wonder just how well "proofed" it really is.


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## BrandiJo (Oct 5, 2004)

i wonder who volinters to test if its shatter proof?


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## bignick (Oct 5, 2004)

Zepp said:
			
		

> The cup I have said "Shatter Proof" on the package. I have to wonder just how well "proofed" it really is.


 
i've been told i kick pretty hard...strap it on and come over...we can find out...


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## AnimEdge (Oct 6, 2004)

A true shot heard round the world eh?


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## KenpoGirl (Oct 6, 2004)

so where is everyone?
:idunno:


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## sasquatchnaruto (Oct 19, 2004)

man i got kicked there once too  while sparring had to sit down for a while lol


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## bignick (Oct 19, 2004)

speaking of...i back kicked my buddy during a light sparring session last week...he threw a roundhouse and i threw a back kick, i remember thinking...hmmmm...i feel one leg on one side of my foot and the other leg on the other side....you know, you really don't wnat to be hitting where they connect...it wasn't a very hard shot, but he seems to get hit in the groin every week by somebody...so it was just my turn i guess


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## BrandiJo (Oct 19, 2004)

we have a  Orange belts in my school that cant figure out distance and always kicks low and close and a white belt that always charges ....very bad mach they always exchage shots to the goiring


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## Makalakumu (Nov 26, 2004)

gyaku-zuki queen said:
			
		

> ok this section is about horror stories... heres a true story.. most likely horror for all of you guys.
> 
> Edmonton, (Canada) 2004 National Championships. Junior Team Kumite Finals. Ontario Vs Quebec.
> Quebec guy is in the lead by about 3 points. Ontario is still in there. as its team kumite, finals, it was intense. almost everyone in the whole arena was watching it. (i mean team kumite finals? pretty much the beggest event  )
> ...



The same exact thing happened to me.  I writhed on the ground and pulled out broken peices of my cup.  Needless to say, I was done sparring that day.  Oh well, no lasting damage...two kids later.


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## Makalakumu (Nov 26, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> i've been told i kick pretty hard...strap it on and come over...we can find out...



Now that test would take some _ummmmmmm_...


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