# Hello, I’m new here



## Michele123 (Dec 23, 2017)

Hello!  I just joined this board. I studied Martial Arts back in the 1990’s until I left for college shortly after earning a Shodan in Shutokan.  I moved away and was never able to find another school in my original style. I tried Tae Kwan Do on a couple different occasions but it never fit me. It seemed so much about show and so impractical with its emphasis on tournaments. (Shotokan was focused on self-defense and never did tournaments). 

Fast-forward to this year and I really wanted my 5 1/2 year old daughter to start classes. She has trouble focusing and sitting still so I hope she can learn discipline from studying Martial Arts. I know it helped me a lot back in the day. The only thing around here are various Tae Kwan Do schools so after trying a couple we found one that seems really good. After just a few weeks I had to sign up too. It’s been great. The master is amazing. 

Yet, I still struggle with the differences between my old style and this one. I’ve kept up practicing my old style off and on over the years and it seems so strange to suddenly do things differently. Has anyone else faced anything similar?  I almost feel like   I’m betraying my old style/school.  On the other hand, this new school is great and I feel so amazing getting to study with others again. 


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## Tames D (Dec 24, 2017)

Welcome Michele. If you found a TKD dojang that you like, embrace it. That doesn't mean you are betraying Shotokan. You can still maintain your Shotokan skills and maybe even find a way to blend the two arts. My base art is Kung Fu San Soo for many years, but I have cross trained in a few other arts, and now have been training in Jeet Kune Do. I never felt I was betraying KFSS. I actually blend them together and make it work for me.


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## Headhunter (Dec 24, 2017)

You're not betraying anyone. It's your life you make your own choices you owe your old place and style nothing. As for the differences I've trained in different styles and never had a problem but best thing just do exactly what your told to do in class. But when no reason why you still shouldn't practice your old stuff. A builder doesn't throw out his old tools he sharpens them so they're ready if he ever needs them. In class do it how your told. But every martial artist has their own style there isn't or shouldn't be any clones so keep your old stuff, work hard on your new stuff and it'll help you be a better martial artist.


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## Gerry Seymour (Dec 24, 2017)

Welcome, and congratulations on finding a good "home" to get back into training. Don't worry about Shotokan - it doesn't get upset when you find a new art to love. Your previous training will (eventually) improve what you learn at the new school, and vice-versa. Keep having fun, and good luck with the little one!


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## Buka (Dec 24, 2017)

Welcome to MartialTalk, Michele. And Merry Christmas! 

Sounds like you and your daughter are in a good place. Just go with the flow and enjoy all of it. And keep us posted.


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## Michele123 (Dec 25, 2017)

Thank you everyone!  I am very excited about the current school and especially having my daughter train. 

Just to clarify, the style I studied was called Shutokan. An off-shoot of Shotokan but not the same thing. 

Has anyone else trained with their young child?  How did it go?  Any pitfalls to watch out for?  My daughter is a bit of a perfectionist and rather competitive. I worry how she will respond when I progress more quickly than she does. 


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## JR 137 (Dec 25, 2017)

Michele123 said:


> Thank you everyone!  I am very excited about the current school and especially having my daughter train.
> 
> Just to clarify, the style I studied was called Shutokan. An off-shoot of Shotokan but not the same thing.
> 
> ...


I trained with my 5 year old daughters for almost a year.  She stopped because she got bored.  She hit that point where she wasn’t learning something new every single time.  It broke my heart, but I understand.  My happiest day in the dojo, by far, was the day I first tied on her white belt.  The school I attend isn’t like the McDojos that have a million belts, a dojo clown/mascot, patches and the like for every little thing, etc.  I’m not against that stuff for the little ones, so long as they’re actually learning the art and it isn’t a glorified daycare center.  Honestly, I think where I go is a bit too “boring” in that regard for kids.  They learn their stuff, but there’s no frills.

Don’t force your daughter to go.  Definitely coax her when she doesn’t “feel like it,” but if you get to the point where you’re constantly dragging her to the dojo, back off.  If you push too hard when she’s this young, you might form a strong negative association in her mind.  After a few consistent weeks of “I don’t want to go today,” I had to ask myself if her going was really for her or if it was for me.

I hope she’ll return when she’s older.  And I hope my youngest will start some day.


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## Brian R. VanCise (Dec 26, 2017)

Welcome to MartialTalk!


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## Headhunter (Dec 26, 2017)

Michele123 said:


> Thank you everyone!  I am very excited about the current school and especially having my daughter train.
> 
> Just to clarify, the style I studied was called Shutokan. An off-shoot of Shotokan but not the same thing.
> 
> ...


I trained my son and daughter in karate from a young age as I did and still believe karates the best start for a young child rather than boxing or kickboxing as it focuses more on defence than offence(well my style of karate does anyway) they both trained kickboxing with me in their teens, my son quit at about 16 because he wanted to focus on running which he's now very good at. My daughter carried on training but did more grappling as she got older winning judo and jiu jitsu comps but has now just had her first Muay Thai fight which I was in the corner for.

But also how do you know you'll progress faster than her. Sometimes kids simply learn faster no shame in that


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## JR 137 (Dec 26, 2017)

Headhunter said:


> I trained my son and daughter in karate from a young age as I did and still believe karates the best start for a young child rather than boxing or kickboxing as it focuses more on defence than offence(well my style of karate does anyway) they both trained kickboxing with me in their teens, my son quit at about 16 because he wanted to focus on running which he's now very good at. My daughter carried on training but did more grappling as she got older winning judo and jiu jitsu comps but has now just had her first Muay Thai fight which I was in the corner for.
> 
> But also how do you know you'll progress faster than her. Sometimes kids simply learn faster no shame in that


She has previous experience, which logically would have her advance quicker than the norm.  Not a guarantee, but realistic.


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## JR 137 (Dec 26, 2017)

Headhunter said:


> I trained my son and daughter in karate from a young age as I did and still believe karates the best start for a young child rather than boxing or kickboxing as it focuses more on defence than offence(well my style of karate does anyway) they both trained kickboxing with me in their teens, my son quit at about 16 because he wanted to focus on running which he's now very good at. My daughter carried on training but did more grappling as she got older winning judo and jiu jitsu comps but has now just had her first Muay Thai fight which I was in the corner for.
> 
> But also how do you know you'll progress faster than her. Sometimes kids simply learn faster no shame in that


I have my daughters punch and kick a kicking shield and focus mitts.  They love it.  They’re 4 and 7.  Once they’re around high school age, I’m going to require them to train in Judo, BJJ or wrestling.  They’ll be able to quit whenever they want, but ONLY AFTER they can prove to me that they’re capable of defending themselves against a guy who’s looking to drag them away and/or put them on their back.  Overprotective?  Perhaps.  But I personally know a few women who would’ve benefited from that.  My wife thought I was crazy when I said that, then I reminded her of those friends.


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## Charlemagne (Dec 26, 2017)

I wouldn't worry so much about betraying your old style.  What I would worry about is if you don't like what you are studying now or don't feel it is a good fit for your child.  That is far more important.  Where are you located?


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## Michele123 (Dec 26, 2017)

Brian R. VanCise said:


> Welcome to MartialTalk!



Thank you!!



Headhunter said:


> But also how do you know you'll progress faster than her. Sometimes kids simply learn faster no shame in that



My daughter has motor delays and I’ve trained in another style before. I’m already pro greasing faster than her and it’s only been a couple of months. I don’t really care but I worry how she will take it when it becomes more obvious after the next test (she will be testing for a stripe on her white belt while I’ll be testing for a full color)



Charlemagne said:


> I wouldn't worry so much about betraying your old style.  What I would worry about is if you don't like what you are studying now or don't feel it is a good fit for your child.  That is far more important.  Where are you located?



Good points. I do feel like it is a good fit. It’s the best fit I’ve found since my original school in the 1990’s.  We are now located in the Midwest whereas I had originally trained in New England as a teen. 



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## Kung Fu Wang (Dec 26, 2017)

Michele123 said:


> I studied Martial Arts back in the 1990’s until I left for college shortly after earning a Shodan in Shutokan.  I moved away and was never able to find another school in my original style. ... Shotokan was focused on self-defense and never did tournaments


If you started MA training since 1990, you have trained for 27 years both in your school and by yourself alone. Why can't you just keep training what you have already learned instead of trying to find another MA school?

How would you test your MA skill if you don't use sport format such as tournament?


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## Michele123 (Dec 26, 2017)

Kung Fu Wang said:


> If you started MA training since 1990, you have trained for 27 years both in your school and by yourself along. Why can't you just keep training what you have already learned instead of trying to find another MA school?
> 
> How would you test your MA skill if you don't use sport format such as tournament?



Training by myself isn’t the same. I prefer the comradeship that is found in a school. In addition, while I can continue to practice what I have learned, it is difficult to learn new things. Finally, I have three young children. It’s nice to have one night a week to myself. 

As for testing the skill, we did lots of sparing and drills. We didn’t have the sort of restrictions that tournaments have. We did have to pull our strikes, but there were no illegal targets and such. It was often told to us that tournaments are impractical because they train you to not strike the most useful targets.  When you are caught by surprise, your training takes over. If you’ve been training to only strike is areas that are easily absorbed or overcome, you will not be as effective as if you’ve been training for the money shots. 

This is what we were told. Having never been to a tournament (yet) I do not know for myself whether that is true or not. 

When I was a teen, my reason for training was largely because I wanted to do stunt work for stage & screen. Now, it’s for all the other benefits of Martial Arts, getting in-shape, self-discipline, self-confidence, etc. 


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## Kung Fu Wang (Dec 26, 2017)

Michele123 said:


> Having never been to a tournament (yet) ...


If you can just try the golden glove boxing once in your life time, the priority of your MA training may be changed. But you have to do it when you are still young. One thing you may learn from it is there is nothing more important than to protect your head from heavy punches.


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## Kung Fu Wang (Dec 26, 2017)

Michele123 said:


> When I was a teen, my reason for training was largely because I wanted to do stunt work for stage & screen. Now, it’s for all the other benefits of Martial Arts, getting in-shape, self-discipline, self-confidence, etc.


There is something wrong that when you (general YOU) are in your

- 20, if you are not interested in fighting,
- 70, if you are still interested in fighting.


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## Headhunter (Dec 27, 2017)

Kung Fu Wang said:


> If you started MA training since 1990, you have trained for 27 years both in your school and by yourself alone. Why can't you just keep training what you have already learned instead of trying to find another MA school?
> 
> How would you test your MA skill if you don't use sport format such as tournament?


Not everyone cares about that you know


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## Headhunter (Dec 27, 2017)

Kung Fu Wang said:


> There is something wrong that when you (general YOU) are in your
> 
> - 20, if you are not interested in fighting,
> - 70, if you are still interested in fighting.


You do know that there's nothing wrong with people not sharing the same beliefs as you right?


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## Monkey Turned Wolf (Dec 27, 2017)

Kung Fu Wang said:


> There is something wrong that when you (general YOU) are in your
> 
> - 20, if you are not interested in fighting,
> - 70, if you are still interested in fighting.


No clue about the 70 year olds, but I know plenty of 20 year olds who are not interested in fighting. Most of them seem to find it weird that I train/have been in as many fights as I was in my teens.


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## donald1 (Dec 27, 2017)

I think that's a lot of people that practice different styles. after practicing goju ryu for for 5 years it's kinda weird practicing kung fu. For starters I never see any of the Kung Fu practitioners bow before going onto the floor. (Something you always do before going onto or off the floor in goju ryu) and don't get me started on the forms. Yet all in all its not that bad. My point is your not alone.

Anyways, hello!


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