# Fla. sheriff seeks portly 'ninja' in theft attempt



## Monadnock (Jan 11, 2009)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2

Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla.  A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.


----------



## terryl965 (Jan 11, 2009)

They do relize Nnjas have stealth and cannot be cought.


----------



## arnisador (Jan 11, 2009)

Too much!!! I need a pic.


----------



## Gordon Nore (Jan 11, 2009)

A real ninja wouldn't have been caught on camera. This is a fake ninjer.


----------



## exile (Jan 11, 2009)

terryl965 said:


> They do relize Nnjas have stealth and cannot be cought.



I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...

... but an _ATM_ is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be _pointless_. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??


----------



## seasoned (Jan 11, 2009)

Monadnock said:


> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2
> 
> Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
> WEST PALM BEACH, Fla.  A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
> The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.


 


With this advanced training, they will never catch him. J


----------



## grydth (Jan 11, 2009)

Monadnock said:


> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090111/ap_on_fe_st/odd_potbellied_ninja_2
> 
> Sun Jan 11, 3:01 pm ET
> WEST PALM BEACH, Fla.  A ninja, or at least someone dressed like one, is lurking in the shadows of Palm Beach County.
> The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says a heavyset man with a visible potbelly and a ninja costume unsuccessfully tried to steal two different ATMs over the past two weeks.




Nobody is taking this terrible threat seriously enough! 

At the height of ninja power during the Tokugawa Shogunate, one could not find a single ATM machine in all the realm.


----------



## JBrainard (Jan 13, 2009)

exile said:


> I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...
> 
> ... but an _ATM_ is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be _pointless_. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??


 
Using his super ninja strength and blinding speed the ATM would be nothing but a blur...


----------



## Cryozombie (Jan 13, 2009)

exile said:


> I agree 100%, Terry. Ninjas are invisible at will...
> 
> ... but an _ATM_ is not! And I strongly suspect that an ATM machine being lugged around by an invisible Ninja would attract enough attention that the invisibility of the Ninja would be _pointless_. What good is it to be invisible if you're hefting several hundred pounds of very visible hardware around that virtually screams its identity as a money machine to everyone and his dog??


 
Look.  What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute...  Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"


----------



## exile (Jan 13, 2009)

Cryozombie said:


> Look.  What I do when I steal ATMs in my Ninja Costume is I dress them like a Woman and Tell the people who see them that its my prostitute...  Then they all say, "Hmm, she looks like an Atm" and I hit the button and she says "Please select transaction" in that female voice and they go "Oh Ok, sorry to have bothered you"



Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...


----------



## Cryozombie (Jan 14, 2009)

exile said:


> Hmmmm.... could land you in trouble with the authorities, though... have you considered maybe telling them it was a captive Dalek that you were taking back to the tardis for a chronospatial rebuild? I'm dead certain they'd leave you alone if you explained it to them that way...


 
Maybe... if I could convince the ATM to say "Exterminate!"  I based my story on the more plausable speech that the ATM used.


----------



## exile (Jan 14, 2009)

Cryozombie said:


> Maybe... if I could convince the ATM to say "Exterminate!"  I based my story on the more plausable speech that the ATM used.



True, there _is_ that...


----------



## foggymorning162 (Jan 15, 2009)

Gordon Nore said:


> A real ninja wouldn't have been caught on camera. This is a fake ninjer.


 Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?


----------



## bluekey88 (Jan 15, 2009)

foggymorning162 said:


> Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?


 
All outta ninjey stars (cans of chew)??


----------



## CoryKS (Jan 15, 2009)

foggymorning162 said:


> Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?


 
'cause he's a ninjer.  He's not Judish.


----------



## Andy Moynihan (Jan 15, 2009)

foggymorning162 said:


> Why didn't he just Judie chop the ATM to get the money out?


 

Y'all done got it done mixed up like. Fer that he needs a ninjer chop.


----------



## Lynne (Feb 28, 2009)

You sillies.  He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population.  He will blend in effortlessly.


----------



## Monadnock (Mar 1, 2009)

:lol:



Lynne said:


> You sillies. He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population. He will blend in effortlessly.


----------



## grydth (Mar 1, 2009)

Lynne said:


> You sillies.  He is overweight and wearing black just like 90% of the rest of the American population.  He will blend in effortlessly.



God bless you for this idea!  

Now when my wife na-, er, _reminds_ me I should be losing weight more quickly, I will tell her this current width is all part of my martial arts training regimen!:angel:


----------

