# Awesomely bad MA movies



## granfire

Title says it.
bring'em! Popcorn is ready!


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## Touch Of Death

9 & 1/2 Ninjas was bad yet somehow good at the same time.
Sean


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## Omar B

No Surrender, No Retreat.

Tang Soo Do kid crazy over Bruce Lee is trained by his ghost then beats up Van Damme


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## Flying Crane

the American Ninja series
Enter the Ninja
anything with Chuck Norris
anything with Steven Segal, esp. Exit Wounds *snicker snicker*
anything with Van Dam


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## granfire

I need to ammend the rules a little: 

Really good fight scenes but questionable story....
or really cheap productions. The more obscure the better! 

From the kiddy section:
3 little ninjas 
3 little ninjas kick back.


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## Jason Striker II

I recently had the misfortune of paying all of 65 cents for Don Wilson's _Futurekick_ on DVD.

It's worth more like 25 cents.


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## Pedantix

The original Mortal Kombat. Loved it as a kid and watched it the other day without many expectations but was pretty impressed. Not bad action at all. 

Kung Fu Hustle. (just good stuff)


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## Buka

I love seeing these old threads for the first time.

Could anything possibly match....Gymkata?


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## Steve

Brandon lee in both rapid fire and showdown in little Tokyo.  Terrible movies, both, but I will still watch them.  




Sent using Tapatalk.  Please ignore typos.


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## Big Don

Does Barry Gordy's Enter The Dragon count?





Sho' Nuff.


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## Blindside

Crippled Masters, the name speaks for itself.


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## Josh Oakley

I remember one called kung fu mahjongg or something like that.

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## WC_lun

My vote also has to go with Gymkata, followed closely by most Steven Seagall movies.


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## Balrog

Five Fingers of Death.  If I remember it correctly, there's a fight scene where a guy gets his eyes gouged out and they showed two ping-pong balls bouncing on the floor.


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## TwentyThree

The Purifiers.

It's "the Warriors" in a dystopian modern Scotland.  Gangs have formed around martial arts styles (really).  The guys we're supposed to root for supposedly are TKD stylists.  Watch and you tell me how much of that is TKD.

Dominic Monaghan is in it.  Yes, that dude from "Lost" and "Lord of the Rings". Also stars Kevin McKidd as the big bad.

I cannot recommend this film highly enough for the general martial arts hijinks that ensue.  Really awful, but hilariously so.


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## Cyriacus

Pocket Ninjas.

You are now all officially required to watch it.


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## SahBumNimRush

I agree with most everything above: Gymkata, Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, the last dragon, the American Ninja series.. .

A couple I would add:  

Jeff Speakman's "The Perfect Weapon"






Cynthia Rothrock's China O'Brien series











and maybe Ernie Reyes Jr's "Surf Ninjas"


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## SahBumNimRush

Oh, and how could I forget Kurt Russell's "Big Trouble in Little China"


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## Jenna

You all saying Steven Seagal are being sacrilegious towards my faith!  Anyway, what other man could carry off a ponytail in a pool room with such panache


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## Instructor

How about Road House with Patrick Swayze.


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## Dirty Dog

Kung Fu Dunk

I kid you not. Try to tie kung fu magic and basketball together in the same movie.


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## Jenna

Anything where Van Damme had to speak.  Or was about him being a twin.  I like Van Damme in the "nipples" beer advertisement though  

Anything where Steven Seagal had environmental concerns.  And had to speak.  I like my MA movies to have pool rooms, fighting and breaking arms.  Not environments. 

The one with Kylie Minogue, I think Van Damme was in that also? 

The one with Hillary Swank. Was it a Karate Kid sequel I think? 

Jet Li Black Mask, this is paradoxically one of my favourite and one of my least favourite MA movies.  Watch it and understand why.  It is gory and weird and yet somehow...


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## granfire

Ah, the Next Karate Kid...

it had some really funny moments in it....




> Anything where Van Damme had to speak.  Or  was about him being a twin.  I like Van Damme in the "nipples" beer  advertisement though
> 
> Anything where Steven Seagal had  environmental concerns.  And had to speak.  I like my MA movies to have  pool rooms, fighting and breaking arms.  Not environments.



:lfao:


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## Big Don

Touch Of Death said:


> 9 & 1/2 Ninjas was bad yet somehow good at the same time.
> Sean


WTF is that? Some Ninja'ed up version of 9½ weeks?


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