# Game: Annoying things to do in the Dojo!



## MA-Caver (May 6, 2007)

So that another thread isn't hijacked... 

Lets come up with our own list of things to annoy people (instructor, other students, visitors, etc.) in the dojo/school ...  


Lessee... hmm... 

Loosen all the handles on all the weapons.


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## Kacey (May 6, 2007)

With credit to Ping and MA-Caver - list your favorites ways (or dreams of ways) to annoy others in the dojang.

I'll start:

Offer to help someone with their patterns, and then make deliberate errors - for example, start pattern A, and in the middle, switch to pattern B (at least, when I do that - that's my _explanation_ about why it happened!)


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## Ping898 (May 6, 2007)

Flick the light on and off in the bathrooms when there are people in them (assuming the switches are on the outside  )


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## terryl965 (May 6, 2007)

OK I answered in the other thread so here I go again
Peeing on the matt while you are in the middle of doing poomsae/kata/forms, in front of your peers.


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## terryl965 (May 6, 2007)

To give them the wrong korean names to techniques and when they talk to other masters they look like a fool.


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## MA-Caver (May 6, 2007)

terryl965 said:


> OK I answered in the other thread so here I go again
> Peeing on the matt while you are in the middle of doing poomsae/kata/forms, in front of your peers.



that'd fall under disgusting than annoying... LOL  but then again it might give them cause to laugh at YOU... ( j/k)


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## terryl965 (May 6, 2007)

Making them believe that wearing the top of the uniforn inside out is proper for the first class and is tradition.


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## Kacey (May 6, 2007)

Sorry... what's that line about great minds thinking alike?


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## terryl965 (May 6, 2007)

Kicking them in the goin to gain there respect


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## Kacey (May 6, 2007)

terryl965 said:


> To give them the wrong korean names to techniques and when they talk to other masters they look like a fool.



I know someone that happened to... his instructor had him memorize a phrase he thought was a welcome... turned out he called this visiting Korean instructor "monkey-face" (among other things - but that's the one that stuck with me).



terryl965 said:


> Making them believe that wearing the top of the uniforn inside out is proper for the first class and is tradition.


You mean, it's _not?!?!??!_  That explains so much :lol:

Let's see... 

"Neglect" to mention that sticky patch from the day camp... the suspiciously yellow one... right where the other person lines up.


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## Andrew Green (May 6, 2007)

Taco Bell before class


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## Ping898 (May 6, 2007)

You can do like my school did, print in Chinese Characters on the belt certificates what you think is "open hand" only to have one of your student's mother who speaks and reads Chinese tell you it actually says "open door"


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## LawDog (May 6, 2007)

Over weight guys who strut across the dojo floor wearing Gi bottoms that are two sizes to small. 
:barf:


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## LawDog (May 6, 2007)

Judo / Jujitsu / Grappling students who wash their uniforms once a month.
:barf:


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## MA-Caver (May 6, 2007)

Will a Mod combine my thread with Kacey's...


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## crushing (May 6, 2007)

Do the Bruce Lee kiai after every basic.


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## MA-Caver (May 6, 2007)

Everytime you break a board... look at someone at random and seriously say... "That, could be ... you."


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## LawDog (May 6, 2007)

Is this going to hurt,
Will this break my nails?,
Don't mess up my hair,(both male & females),
I don't want to get sweaty tonight, I have to go shopping after class.
 :ticked:


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## crushing (May 6, 2007)

*cough* *cough* I hope I kick this flu bug soon *cough*.


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## Lisa (May 6, 2007)

Threads merged as per request from OP. 

Lisa Deneka
MT Assist. Admin.


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## bookworm_cn317 (May 6, 2007)

LawDog said:


> Is this going to hurt,
> Will this break my nails?,
> *Don't mess up my hair,(both male & females),*
> I don't want to get sweaty tonight, I have to go shopping after class.
> :ticked:


 
The bolded is something I've actually said in class, I'm embarrassed to say.

I have one (and it's true, too. I said this in class once and I got yelled at.): I suck at _insert-thing-of-your-choice-here_.

Yeah, you don't EVER want to do that! :uhyeah:


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## Kacey (May 6, 2007)

Another thing that really happened... from a 15 year-old male white belt, told to spar with a 14 year-old female red belt:  "I can't hit a _girl_"... too bad for him that as we rotated partners he ended up with 3 more before he got to a male partner!  :lool:  And he still doesn't like sparring with girls - but I think that's because they all outrank him, and can outfight him, too!


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## crushing (May 6, 2007)

Kacey said:


> Another thing that really happened... from a 15 year-old male white belt, told to spar with a 14 year-old female red belt: "I can't hit a _girl"_


 
He may be young, but that's still a decade and a half of ingrained chivalry that he has to learn to check at the door.  Depending on how one is raised, it isn't so easy, even if the one you don't want to hit is trying to rip your head off, and doing a decent job of it.  He's a white belt, it's part of the learning process.


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## LawDog (May 6, 2007)

Male students who take a bath in cheap after shave lotion,
Female who take a bath in cheap perfume.


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## Kacey (May 6, 2007)

crushing said:


> He may be young, but that's still a decade and a half of ingrained chivalry that he has to learn to check at the door.  Depending on how one is raised, it isn't so easy, even if the one you don't want to hit is trying to rip your head off, and doing a decent job of it.  He's a white belt, it's part of the learning process.



Well, it's mostly cultural - he's from Korea.  It was just _so_ funny the night he said it, because half of my class is female, and all but one of them are teens too.  He's a high yellow belt now, and still having problems with it - especially with one _very_ gung-ho yellow belt woman who joined up a few months ago.

Let's see, other things to do to annoy people in the dojang:

Point out the food stain on the floor right _after_ someone walks over it (there's a daycare in the room we use sometimes)


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## Jade Tigress (May 7, 2007)

crushing said:


> Do the Bruce Lee kiai after every basic.



:lfao:


Annoying things to do in the Dojo? How about being:



> Originally Posted by *Obliquity*
> My picture of him is more like a doofus. None-the-less, he is *an ego-centric doofus who is not really considering the impact of his actions on others. He may truly think he is doing the right thing, but, he truly is not.*


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## morph4me (May 7, 2007)

Correct everyone you work with, including the instructor :EG:.

Tell your training partners to take it easy on you because of some injury and then do the technique hard on them.


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## bushidomartialarts (May 7, 2007)

Keep asking to see the technique again immediately after the instructor shows it.

Especially if the uke looks like it hurts.


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## Xue Sheng (May 7, 2007)

Get what you say and what it looks like your mouth is saying to to be 2 different things like any martial arts movie out of Hong Kong dubbed in English.

 And say, in response to absolutely everything

You have insulted my family and the Shaolin temple

This will go over particularly well if you are in CMA with a Chinese Sifu.


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## MA-Caver (May 7, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> Get what you say and what it looks like your mouth is saying to to be 2 different things like any martial arts movie out of Hong Kong dubbed in English.
> 
> And say, in response to absolutely everything
> 
> ...


yeah but it'd probably be more effective if he carries a micro tape recorder and manages to hide it and hit play/pause while giving instructions... :lol: at least he can move his lip out of sync with what he's saying AND be one and half word behind what he's saying...


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## Xue Sheng (May 7, 2007)

MA-Caver said:


> yeah but it'd probably be more effective if he carries a micro tape recorder and manages to hide it and hit play/pause while giving instructions... :lol: at least he can move his lip out of sync with what he's saying AND be one and half word behind what he's saying...


 
Actually when I trained with my first sifu another student one of his that was from China and I use to spar and he actually started doing this by thinking Chinese and speaking English (or at least that is how he described it) He and I would have these Kung Fu theater sparing matches with associated dialog.


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## Shaderon (May 10, 2007)

How to annoy others.. let's see...

How about repeatedly advising the person who's a rank above you to guard their face in sparring then when they repeatedly ignore you hit them in it hard?  

That annoys a few people :lol:


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## JBrainard (May 10, 2007)

crushing said:


> Do the Bruce Lee kiai after every basic.


 
I have a friend in class you actually does that sometimes :lol:



bushidomartialarts said:


> Keep asking to see the technique again immediately after the instructor shows it.
> Especially if the uke looks like it hurts.



Wouldn't work in my school. If you ask the instructor to demonstrait a technique twice, he demonstraits it on you. Makes you pay more attention!

My own idea: Replace the water in the students' bottled water with vodka. Burn baby burn.


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## fnorfurfoot (May 10, 2007)

While sparring, get into your best movie style stance and use the "come here" gesture.  Ever since the Matrix, I get one new kid a month who feels the need to do this at least once.


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## Laurentkd (May 10, 2007)

fnorfurfoot said:


> While sparring, get into your best movie style stance and use the "come here" gesture. Ever since the Matrix, I get one new kid a month who feels the need to do this at least once.


 
Dude!!! Me too!!!


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## morph4me (May 11, 2007)

fnorfurfoot said:


> While sparring, get into your best movie style stance and use the "come here" gesture. Ever since the Matrix, I get one new kid a month who feels the need to do this at least once.


 
Easily cured by a senior belt who accepts the invitation :EG:


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## Shaderon (May 11, 2007)

Morph you're evil.  I knew there was a reason I liked you.


Hold the kick-sheild for a flying kick, then once the training partner is just about to take off say "no it's not right" and move the pad....


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## LawDog (May 11, 2007)

morph4me,
Way to go, while helping to get the student up from the floor the senior can do the same gesture back at him.
:whip:


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## morph4me (May 11, 2007)

Shaderon said:


> Morph you're evil. I knew there was a reason I liked you.


 
It's a gift:ultracool


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## Kreth (May 11, 2007)

I had my training partner in an armbar. My instructor comes over and squats down facing me with his *** over my partner's face. He says, "Okay, now what you want to do is..." and rips a big fart right in my partner's face. :lol:


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## Bigshadow (May 11, 2007)

bushidomartialarts said:


> Keep asking to see the technique again immediately after the instructor shows it.
> 
> Especially if the uke looks like it hurts.



HAHAHAHA  I have done that to a couple of folks in class.  I am guilty!    Of course the uke is always one of the regulars and they generally know what we are up to when we do that, cause we are usually grinning from ear to ear! :rofl:

Let's see that one again!


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## Kreth (May 11, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> HAHAHAHA  I have done that to a couple of folks in class.  I am guilty!    Of course the uke is always one of the regulars and they generally know what we are up to when we do that, cause we are usually grinning from ear to ear! :rofl:
> 
> Let's see that one again!


Sometimes when I'm teaching and I see this going on, I'll turn the tables on the student asking to see the technique again by bringing them up to replace the original uke, under the pretext, "so [insert original uke's name] can see the technique..."


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## Bigshadow (May 11, 2007)

Kreth said:


> I had my training partner in an armbar. My instructor comes over and squats down facing me with his *** over my partner's face. He says, "Okay, now what you want to do is..." and rips a big fart right in my partner's face. :lol:




I would say that is worse than when Jack Hoban shoved his fingers up my nose and into my gums while he had me pinned to the mat!  :lol:


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## Bigshadow (May 11, 2007)

Kreth said:


> Sometimes when I'm teaching and I see this going on, I'll turn the tables on the student asking to see the technique again by bringing them up to replace the original uke, under the pretext, "so [insert original uke's name] can see the technique..."



I am always eager to be uke!  So it would work to my advantage, wouldn't it?   However that is how most instructors I have trained with would handle it.  I am usually very quick to offer being uke.  I prefer to feel it than see it from the sidelines.


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## Kreth (May 11, 2007)

Bigshadow said:


> I am always eager to be uke!  So it would work to my advantage, wouldn't it?   However that is how most instructors I have trained with would handle it.  I am usually very quick to offer being uke.  I prefer to feel it than see it from the sidelines.


Me too. Sometimes it comes back to bite you:
Example #1: I volunteered to be Ralph Severe's uke at a seminar in PA. He proceeded to put me in a choke with a hanbo and throw me by my neck.
Example #2: On a Japan trip, Hatsumi sensei had used everyone in my group but me as uke, so it became a running joke with us that he was "ducking me." On our last day there, we were training at Ayase. Hatsumi sensei showed a technique and told us to "go play." I turned to my partner and said, "Yep, he's still ducking me." My partner gets this huge grin on his face and says, "Here he comes." I turn around and Hatsumi sensei walks up to me and gestures for me to grap his lapel. I do so, and he attacks the side of one of my fingers with his thumbnail. It hurt so bad I couldn't even yell, and instantly went to my knees. The whole group got a good laugh out of that one.


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## Bigshadow (May 11, 2007)

Kreth said:


> Me too. Sometimes it comes back to bite you:
> Example #1: I volunteered to be Ralph Severe's uke at a seminar in PA. He proceeded to put me in a choke with a hanbo and throw me by my neck.
> Example #2: On a Japan trip, Hatsumi sensei had used everyone in my group but me as uke, so it became a running joke with us that he was "ducking me." On our last day there, we were training at Ayase. Hatsumi sensei showed a technique and told us to "go play." I turned to my partner and said, "Yep, he's still ducking me." My partner gets this huge grin on his face and says, "Here he comes." I turn around and Hatsumi sensei walks up to me and gestures for me to grap his lapel. I do so, and he attacks the side of one of my fingers with his thumbnail. It hurt so bad I couldn't even yell, and instantly went to my knees. The whole group got a good laugh out of that one.



Probably about as hard as I am laughing now, that was great!  Yes, I agree it can bite you sometimes!  Part of the training is learning when NOT to say anything and hope they don't call you out.  :rofl:


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## hong kong fooey (May 13, 2007)

run around your instructer as many times as possible before stoping in front of him and screaming at the top of your lungs!


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## qi-tah (May 14, 2007)

Use an uncapped red biro as a substitute knife in knife defence applications. My sparring partner did this once and i ended up with red scrawls half way up my arm!


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