# Put your child in first!



## shesulsa (Mar 21, 2006)

This is partly a rant and partly advice:

Please ... Put your child(ren) in the car before you put your groceries in!!

It just chaps my butt when I see parents with their baby/toddler still strapped into the cart (which is ever so slowly rolling away from them) and their back turned to him/her/them whilst loading and rearranging the groceries in their cars.  OH YEAH! And usually there's a wide open purse nearby too.

I look at stuff like that and think, "wow - these people SO did not grow up in L.A."

This is behavior BEGGING for a predator, folks.  Put your most precious cargo in the car first - you know - the cargo with a pulse.


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## Kacey (Mar 21, 2006)

Indeed.  Several months ago, I was in a grocery store, when I was hit by a small rubber ball... thrown by a girl of about 6, to her brother of about 3.  I  suggested that she not throw balls in the store, because she might hurt someone, and asked her where her parents were - her father was in the opposite corner of the store, choosing produce.  He caught up to me in the parking lot and started yelling at me for daring to discipline his children.  I pointed out that I could as easily have picked one up and walked out with him or her, and anyone but himself would likely have assumed I was the mother and the child was having a tantrum, or I could have called the police and reported him for negligence (in Colorado, it's illegal to leave a child under 12 unattended at home, never mind in a store), or for that matter, I could have reported his child for theft (the still-wrapped ball belonged to the store)... as he sputtered about trying to find a response, several other people in the parking lot started clapping.  He turned beet red and drove off.

Don't assume your child is safe simply because there are other people around.


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## SFC JeffJ (Mar 21, 2006)

Great advice!!


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## terryl965 (Mar 21, 2006)

shesulsa, I have to agree with you on this one it chaps my *** as well.
Great advice thank you
Terry


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## Jonathan Randall (Mar 21, 2006)

Good advice, but I would add one exclusion. I put Elisabethe in last sometimes (during the Susan Smith "carjacking" fraud, before _she, the mother _was exposed as the killer), although I put the cart in front of me, or an adult with me, so that either I or they could see her and the car in front would block easy access. It was scary for a time to consider what would happen if a carjacker approached and your kid was strapped in and they wanted the car. My plan was to let them HAVE the car, but not the baby while I was still living, at least.

I know that this is not really what you mean - the folks who are oblivious with the cart behind them and totally unaware. To put them in front takes parking where you have room to fit the cart though (I had a small car with a hatch back). Otherwise put them in first, I agree. Also pay attention!


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## Lisa (Mar 21, 2006)

That one blows me away too, Geo.  Also those parents that walk 10 feet away from their kids down parking lot aisles.  My kids think me paranoid that I always make them stay within reach.


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## beau_safken (Mar 21, 2006)

My dear Lisa,  You also have the pleasure of being in Canada.  Granted there are still moving objects like cars  but I just don't hear of a lot of L.A. style stuff happening up there.  Again I'm a young guy so I could just be talking out of my other end as well.  

Another quality one is the kids that are like 9-12 running up and down the subway here in San Francisco selling magazines.  I asked a kid how old he was and where his parents were.  They dropped him off to sell magazines in the subway...  Nice...


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## Lisa (Mar 21, 2006)

beau_safken said:
			
		

> My dear Lisa,  You also have the pleasure of being in Canada.  Granted there are still moving objects like cars  but I just don't hear of a lot of L.A. style stuff happening up there.  Again I'm a young guy so I could just be talking out of my other end as well.
> 
> Another quality one is the kids that are like 9-12 running up and down the subway here in San Francisco selling magazines.  I asked a kid how old he was and where his parents were.  They dropped him off to sell magazines in the subway...  Nice...



You have a point Beau...Even though I live in the murder capital of Canada, I do feel very safe in my small city. 

To tell you the truth, big cities just aren't for me.  I couldn't see myself living in one.


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## beau_safken (Mar 21, 2006)

Lisa said:
			
		

> You have a point Beau...Even though I live in the murder capital of Canada, I do feel very safe in my small city.
> 
> To tell you the truth, big cities just aren't for me.  I couldn't see myself living in one.



Hell I wish I could agree but here I am in San Fran.  I grew up in a town in the mountains of colorado with 275 people total.  Lets just say...Nothing ever happened up there and when it did, everyone had everyone elses back.  So it was really odd to move to a big city where nobody cared for their neighbor.  I don't know...Sometimes those little parts of my childhood kinda make me homesick.  I loved just knowing the second you stepped foot into town, everyone knew you and you could ask anyone for anything.


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## MA-Caver (Mar 21, 2006)

Yes, as one who loves children (they're great with ketchup), I lament the fact that I don't have a cell phone to call 911 whenever I see some one being blatant about their child's safety, i.e. situation that Shesulsa described, riding around in their cars without being strapped in, so on and so on. The police here are eager to hunt down a car with "free-floating" kids in it if you call it in and give the make/model and license plate number and the direction they were last seen heading. 
Raising children is a primary parental responsibilty but responsible adults need to chip in as well and not be bawled out for it like Kacey did. A while back I worked at a movie theater located in a large mall. Thanks to public transit I would be at work several hours early and found myself wandering around the mall checking out this or that (hey ... she is sooo fine! ) and I got to know Mall security on a casual chit/chat basis. 
One evening I spied a four year-old wandering around and watched him for a few minutes to see if the parent would show up or not. Got to thinking about how easy it would've been to snatch the kid. Sheesh.... was tempted to lead the kid by the hand to the security office and leave him there.  But mainly waited until I saw a guard and pointed the kid out and let him take care of it. 
Sigh... if you love your kids... belt them... (so a bumper sticker says)...


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## Hand Sword (Mar 22, 2006)

I agree about the car jacking point. I say keep the kid very close, but, load the groceries first. If they get the car, fine! At least you still have your child. I've heard quite a few stories of carjackers that took off, without realizing a kid was in the back.


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## Drac (Mar 22, 2006)

shesulsa said:
			
		

> Please ... Put your child(ren) in the car before you put your groceries in!!It just chaps my butt when I see parents with their baby/toddler still strapped into the cart (which is ever so slowly rolling away from them) and their back turned to him/her/them whilst loading and rearranging the groceries in their cars. OH YEAH! And usually there's a wide open purse nearby too


 
Amen Sister...I've actually had words (while on duty) with people I've observed doing just that...The excuses and replies I've gotten vary..


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## shesulsa (Mar 22, 2006)

Hand Sword said:
			
		

> I agree about the car jacking point. I say keep the kid very close, but, load the groceries first. If they get the car, fine! At least you still have your child. I've heard quite a few stories of carjackers that took off, without realizing a kid was in the back.



On the carjacking thing:

When I was carting around babies and toddlers, I opened one door at a time.  The kids entered the car through one door - the youngest would be in my arms, the oldest would climb across the seats to the other side and strap himself in, the youngest would get buckled into the car seat with my back against the car door.  I'd give them about three inches down on the windows for air in the summer, locked the doors and opened the rear hatch to load my purse and the groceries.  This was fairly easy - and I always loaded to one side so if I needed to climb in to the back of the car quickly I always could and one time DID to avoid a potential threat.  I can crawl/climb to the seat in the front. Now, that's hard to do when you have a sedan-type vehicle, I recognize.  However, you can shut the trunk and know your kids are inside safe.  If I'm told to get in the car with someone, screw that noise, I ain't doing it.  The kids are more secure in the car.

Thoughts?


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## Hand Sword (Mar 23, 2006)

It would probably happen too fast for you to react. It would also happen when your attention is wandering, like seeing what your kids are doing, and looking and loading groceries. I would still load the Kids last.


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## TigerWoman (Mar 23, 2006)

So lonnng ago... I think I did load the groceries first. I had a hatchback, always have and I would put the cart right up to the back and load them in.  By then the temperature in the car goes down.  I lived in San Diego/LA 20 yrs.  But it was more hazardous to leave a child in a cart then, without reallly watching them.  They didn't have seatbelts in the carts then.  I rigged my own though.  But then, what to do with the cart??  Groceries in car, child in car and the cart corral is six cars away.  No, I would take the child and cart, then pluck her out before shoving the cart in.  Then, put her in the car.  Anything just takes a watchful parent.  Dad's usually are used to it enough. Not all dads but it does require a bit of paranoia as we moms see what little ones can get themselves into and are more used to it on a daily basis. 

Ah, those were the days in the grocery store, when later as a 3 yr old, she would throw herself on the floor and have a tantrum because I wouldn't give her something she wanted.  Hmm, maybe that continues into the "young adult" years.  TW


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## still learning (Mar 23, 2006)

Hello, As a part-time Security Officer for Wal-mart, you will  see lots of people stop there car (running) leaving the wife/or wife and kids in the passenger seats and the man rushing into the store to get something.

Just last week this happen,  I could have jump in the driver seat and taken them away. So I said to the lady" Your husband does not care about you or your kids(two in car seats)in the back.  She gave me that funny look and said "What? Then I told her Wal-mart has druggies and homeless people hang round the outside of the store sometimes(many come here ) and she got in the driver seat to park the car.

She was flagging her husband...then I approch her husband and said" You don't care about your wife and kids, leaving them in a unlock,running car park in front of the store?  anyone could have droven them away?

One hope they have learn something here?   ......one person one day at a time.................Aloha


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## MA-Caver (Mar 23, 2006)

still learning said:
			
		

> Hello, As a part-time Security Officer for Wal-mart, you will  see lots of people stop there car (running) leaving the wife/or wife and kids in the passenger seats and the man rushing into the store to get something.
> 
> Just last week this happen,  I could have jump in the driver seat and taken them away. So I said to the lady" Your husband does not care about you or your kids (two in car seats) in the back.  She gave me that funny look and said "What? Then I told her Wal-mart has druggies and homeless people hang round the outside of the store sometimes (many come here ) and she got in the driver seat to park the car.
> 
> ...


Good job, of course this could've lead to a big fight in their home later on that evening, but hopefully both will have learned something. I think it's common place that people do this. I've seen it many times at various stores. Very trusting indeed. What does this say about our society when we know kidnappings and child thefts occur (sadly) frequently and yet parental units still are negligent to do this sort of stupidity? 
For me it says that we all have to watch out for one another.


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## Hand Sword (Mar 23, 2006)

I agree. For me, I look at it as priorities. The kids are obviously of primary concern, so they stay with me as long as possible. Load the groceries first, to take that distraction away. If at that point a carjacking goes down, they either can have the car and food, with the kids with me, or, if a fight goes down and I get hurt, at least the kids can run away. I would think that an attacker would just want the vehicle and wouldn't spend time chasing the kids down. Also, with all of the crazies out there, I would hate to load the kids first, have the car jacked, and the kids used as hostages by some scared, desperate, criminal. (after, probably, a high speed chase by the police)

Tough topic! Whatever way, stay alert, err on the side of caution, and be safe!


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## Rich Parsons (Mar 23, 2006)

Hand Sword said:
			
		

> I agree. For me, I look at it as priorities. The kids are obviously of primary concern, so they stay with me as long as possible. Load the groceries first, to take that distraction away. If at that point a carjacking goes down, they either can have the car and food, with the kids with me, or, if a fight goes down and I get hurt, at least the kids can run away. I would think that an attacker would just want the vehicle and wouldn't spend time chasing the kids down. Also, with all of the crazies out there, I would hate to load the kids first, have the car jacked, and the kids used as hostages by some scared, desperate, criminal. (after, probably, a high speed chase by the police)
> 
> Tough topic! Whatever way, stay alert, err on the side of caution, and be safe!


 

Could we not then install a breaking system on he carts to stop them from rolling? And keep the children as close to you as possible?


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## Hand Sword (Mar 24, 2006)

I usually just roll it up to the vehicle, sideways and unload it. I've never had one roll away. I guess, if you had to, you could use a foot to brace against a wheel. I guess if it rolls just fix it so it don't, and keep the kids close. Like I said this is tough, and it's sad that this kind of topic has to be discussed. I did see, at one supermarket, a metal breaking system on the front wheel. I thought it was tough rolling it down the aisle--LOL! In my genius, I thought it just needed oil.


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## Em MacIntosh (May 24, 2007)

I'm not a parent but I'm always on the lookout for parenting advice and wanted to thank you all for some great points that never would have occurred to me.


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## Drac (May 24, 2007)

still learning said:


> Hello, As a part-time Security Officer for Wal-mart, you will see lots of people stop there car (running) leaving the wife/or wife and kids in the passenger seats and the man rushing into the store to get something.


 
I wrote a woman not too long ago for *Child Endangerment* because she left 2 infants in a running car doors unlocked so she could run into a pawn shop and buy some gold jewlery...If there was an *Aggravated Stupidity *law on the books I would have issued one for her comment of "I was watching them", yet she didn't see me pull up to the curb...


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## Callandor (May 24, 2007)

Kacey said:


> Don't assume your child is safe simply because there are other people around.


True. One of them might be the very person you hoped your child is safe from.


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## Tames D (May 24, 2007)

Kacey said:


> Indeed. Several months ago, I was in a grocery store, when I was hit by a small rubber ball... thrown by a girl of about 6, to her brother of about 3. I suggested that she not throw balls in the store, because she might hurt someone, and asked her where her parents were - her father was in the opposite corner of the store, choosing produce. He caught up to me in the parking lot and started yelling at me for daring to discipline his children. I pointed out that I could as easily have picked one up and walked out with him or her, and anyone but himself would likely have assumed I was the mother and the child was having a tantrum, or I could have called the police and reported him for negligence (in Colorado, it's illegal to leave a child under 12 unattended at home, never mind in a store), or for that matter, I could have reported his child for theft (the still-wrapped ball belonged to the store)... as he sputtered about trying to find a response, several other people in the parking lot started clapping. He turned beet red and drove off.
> 
> Don't assume your child is safe simply because there are other people around.


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