# Has anyone else felt weird about hitting people



## autumn1973 (Aug 27, 2005)

I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know.  I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.

I keep making a fool out of myself saying  "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


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## mj-hi-yah (Aug 27, 2005)

Welcome to the forum! :wavey:  Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to feel weird about hitting other people, especially for women I think.  I used to also say I'm sorry.  I don't anymore.  Now I can't believe I am saying this, but LOL I l:inlove:ve hitting them, and don't mind them hitting me.


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## michaeledward (Aug 27, 2005)

Amy, don't worry about it, and welcome.

When I started studying, approximately 5 years ago, I, too, didn't ever want to make contact with anyone. I was studying to learn the 'ballet' of motion. As my wife and I went through the lower ranks, we would occassionally make contact with each other (sometimes, she seemed to want to hit me, too --- imagine that). 

As we progressed in our study, it became more apparent that contact needs to be made at times, if for no other reason than to have an appropriate response from the attacker. 

As you progress, you will learn to make contact with control. You will hit hard enough to get a reaction, but not so hard that your training partner won't come back. 

Let this progress take place at your comfort level. You do not need to strike hard now, if you are not comfortable with the idea. Go at your own pace.

Mike


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## Simon Curran (Aug 27, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know. I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


At the risk of sounding blunt, get over it.
We had a discussion here a little while ago about people who feel the same way as you do, and although it is a perfectly natural thing to not like hurting others, unfortunately the predators of the world don't feel that way, so if learning to over come your aversion to hurting another takes place in training, then you will certainly have no problem taking out some a-hole who causes a threat to you and yours.
My personal opinion at least.

Now that I have said that though, I do know how you feel, as a big guy I sometimes do my training partners a disservice by not being aggresive enough.


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## Lisa (Aug 27, 2005)

Welcome Amy! :wavey:

 As you get used to training, you will get used to hitting other people.  It just takes time.  The feeling is new and we all grew up being told that hitting others is wrong, so we have to work past that.  The important thing is that you have started training, and I hope that it brings you many years of enjoyment.


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## KenpoEMT (Aug 27, 2005)

I think that your hesitancy to land strikes is a delightful example of common courtesy.

Personally, I don't like training with people that I do not know.  There is a measure of...(what's the word? ...intimacy maybe?...) ...trust that everyone must have in their training partner.

We have this trust for each other simply because we each are alive and contributing to this thing we call life. People don't do certain things to people that they don't know.

Whether or not it is ever put into words, this trust is ever present in the back of your mind.   I think that you are hesitant to violate this trust.  I am the same way.  I tend to go very easy on people that I don't know, and I tend to enjoy a limited ferocity with people that I do know.

It isn't a matter of developing trust in our partners; it is a matter of letting our trust for each other assume a new form that allows contact :whip: . That, of course, takes time. If you were arguing with me, you would not hit me in order to emphasize your point because I am a stranger, and we don't do that to strangers. If you knew me very well, you would probably have no problem (depending upon the environment in which you were raised)  smacking my arm to emphasize your words.  I think that this analogy applies to the discomfort that you feel in the dojo/studio/dojang.

Give it time.

Welcome to the forum and good luck in your training!


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## searcher (Aug 27, 2005)

As others have already stated, it will feel better in time.   Most people are on the other side as they like to hit but not get hit.   Just remember to breathe and relax.   Don't think about what you are doing and enjoy yourself.   A little tip I always tell new students is that they need to hit them and go hard, because if the other person gets a chance they will gladly hit them.


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## Loki (Aug 27, 2005)

Hey,

 I totally sympathize with you. I've been training for three years now, on my way to black belt, and I still feel awkward about hitting people sometimes. Especially older women ("You could be my mom, I can't hit you!"). I've grown out of the habit of apologizing because I've done nothing wrong, but I can't help but ask people if they're ok after landing a good blow.

 The best piece of advice I can give you is that your partner knows what he/she got themselves into when coming to learn martial arts, and they can probably to get hit. It's all part of training. You'll get used to it.


 ...and welcome to Martial Talk ;-)


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## still learning (Aug 27, 2005)

Hello, In the begining everyone does not want to hit there partners.  As you advance in years it will get easier because you will realize it is helping both of you in your training. 

  Learning to make contact and feeling the impact of your strikes in the right places (not neccessary to hit very hard) will increase your tarketing and feeling the hit.  Two- your partner will be learning what it is like to get hit and will learn to defend those areas alot more carefully ( learning they do not like getting hit there) and will protect those areas instinctly.

 You will hear this often " most people fight like they train" ....observer this...Aloha


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## MA-Caver (Aug 27, 2005)

My first MA training was with a street-wise black fella who (then) held a red belt in TKD. This was back in the early-mid-70's where racial tensions were still a bit ... tense  Even with padded gloves and foot-wear I was still hesitant to go at him punching and kicking. Small wonder since a lot of fights during my early-late highschool years involved classmates of color (black, hispanic, what have ya). He and I were good friends but it was that "sticky" of past experiences. 
Finally after one evening of teaching/semi-sparring he sat me down and said that he understood my hesitancy and told me that he doesn't "see color" and thus if I really wanted to learn I would have to start hitting (him). 
After that I haven't had a problem. Learned how to pull punches/kicks with this guy and so I don't feel bad now about hitting someone as long as it's in training. 

It's a mind set _YOU_ have to put yourself into; understanding that everyone else in that dojo is there to learn how to hit and get hit. None of it is malicious in any shape or form. If it is then the instructor/sifu needs to know about it. Otherwise get over it because someday you might have to do it for real. I mean how's it going to look when you say: (PUNCH!) "ohh I'm sorry mr mugger I didn't mean that!"  -- "aww shucks m'am that's ok... I guess I need to mug someone else... d'ya need a eskort home? no? well ok... g'nite!" 

:asian:


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## Aikikitty (Aug 27, 2005)

Yeah, I grew up being told to "never" hit anyone!  After 18 years of being taught that and naturally being very gentle, it was very hard to re-program myself.  Years later, I still sometimes struggle with it.  The guys in my class have to keep fussing at me because they can't practice there techniques well if their uke (me) keeps coming at them with sissy strikes/punches or miss on purpose because I'm afraid they won't move in time.  I'm still working on it.

On the flip side, when the guys in my class are attacking me, I'm not afraid because I know that they won't really hurt me--either they have enough control or I'll move enough so it won't really connect.

Robyn  :asian:


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## autumn1973 (Aug 27, 2005)

Simon, I do not take offense at all. After all I did ask didn't I? I like your directness...heh heh. 

Thanks for everybody's input, I really appreciate it. I just felt a little weird beating up on a little 15 year old guy even though he has been at it for years and could probably lay me flat on the floor with one blow.


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## KenpoEMT (Aug 28, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> ...I just felt a little weird beating up on a little 15 year old guy even though he has been at it for years and could probably lay me flat on the floor with one blow.


He's 15; he probably did SOMETHING during the day to deserve a good hit. :lol: 

...you know, balance out his karma for him :lol:


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## MJS (Aug 28, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know.  I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying  "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.



I think that every one of us has experienced this same thing at one point in our training.  Like anything, over time, things will become much more natural.  The Martial Arts are going to involve contact.  Of course this is something that should gradually be built upon.  

Keep training hard!!

Mike


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## Dan Anderson (Aug 29, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know.  I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying  "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


Hi Amy,

Came onto this post late in the game.  In the number of years I have been teaching (since 1969), I have found this to be more the case than not.  It was fascinating to me becaude I had no trouble hitting anyone but the majority of students did have trouble with it.  You are not weird.  Keep training.

Yours,
Dan Anderson


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## autumn1973 (Aug 29, 2005)

Better late than never Dan. I appreciate all input all the time. 

I was able work with, and therefore I got to kick the crap out of, my husband today (highly exaggerated, I can only wish most of the time) So I was okay but I gotta get used to whacking other people.


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## Loki (Sep 2, 2005)

Loki said:
			
		

> "You could be my mom, I can't hit you!"


 Two more moms joined our class... two more people I feel bad about hitting...


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## shesulsa (Sep 2, 2005)

I have this weird thing where I don't always feel how hard I hit and I wind up hurting someone when I think I tapped them - which is unusual for most women.  I don't always do it, but it seems to happen at the worst times.

 So because of this, I always feel weird about hitting people.  It's one of my hurdles to overcome.

 But as for you, I think you have to just do it a lot and get used to being hit, then it will become like old hat.

 Welcome to MT, and good luck!


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## Mc Qoorbs (Sep 4, 2005)

Yeah i feel you.I have the same problem using all my force in attempt to hit my training partners...its funny because the people i train with think i have no heart haha.But what if i really did hit them full force by accident?Ive done that before and really hurt somebody...


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## bcbernam777 (Sep 4, 2005)

Its normal, dont worry about it, eventually you will learn to emotionally detach yourself from the act of punching someone, a punch eventually will be like any other tool to get the job done. You just have to keep in mind that you are there to learn how to fight, and so are 99% percent of people in class, they should expect (hopefully) that they are going to get hit, and that they will be doing some of the hitting.

Good luck with your training


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## searcher (Sep 7, 2005)

Here's a thought for you.   If you don't hit them then you are not helping them get better either.   You will not want them egtting hurt on the street because you failed to give them what you got.


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## Brother John (Sep 21, 2005)

It's VERY understandable. 
Touch is the very first form a communication that we have as humans. It's the first way that we know the positive (comfort from mommy/daddy....a full tummy) and negative (fell down, hungry, pain...etc.). Touch is extremely personal and probably one of the most intimate things we can do. Don't buy it?? OK... go up to someone you know that's not your spouse or romantic/love interest and just touch your nose to theirs.   Anyone...?

Yeah... awkward. 

Now hitting seems like it should be different, but it's still touch. In fact, it carry's some pretty negative connotations in That touch.... but you'll overcome it. _We all do._ Takes time and persistance. Also the moral of "do no harm" that we are all (ok...almost all) raised with........... it's pretty deeply ingrained. 

Give it time. Train with people you trust and get to know them. Pretty soon you'll get over that "don't hit" impulse you feel and then you can really have fun with all the bumps and bruises and the next mornings "Hey...did I get hit There???" discoveries.

enjoy..

Your Brother
John


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## Bigshadow (Sep 21, 2005)

Yes, definitely awkward at first!  Also, we don't pull the punches, kicks, and strikes, so it was difficult to keep from intentionally missing when they didn't move.  In time that will pass though.  As someone referred to, it is their training too.  If you are not doing it correctly then they are not learning correctly.


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## Sapper6 (Sep 21, 2005)

well amy, it's been about three weeks since you started this thread.  how has progression gone?


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## Simon Curran (Sep 22, 2005)

Brother John said:
			
		

> Pretty soon you'll get over that "don't hit" impulse you feel and then you can really have fun with all the bumps and bruises and the next mornings "Hey...did I get hit There???" discoveries.
> 
> Your Brother
> John


LOL
So I'm not the only one...


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## Soldier (Sep 30, 2005)

As long as it's concentual, you will not brought up on charges. lol


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## autumn1973 (Oct 2, 2005)

> well amy, it's been about three weeks since you started this thread. how has progression gone?


Thanks for asking...better, getting better. 

Like someone was saying it is hard to touch someone you are not really close to, but as I have been getting to know my instuctor I am finding it easier to actually do some maneuvers (sp?) now. 

When I first had to do arm extensions on the guy instructing me I was like OMG I have _touch_ him? It was a bit unnerving to me as I am not a touchy type person to begin with. I won't even let my own relatives hug me (with the exception of my daughter), and I am serious about that. I value personal space very highly. I must sound like a total weirdo, I know. 

They have had me doing forms recently and while I have got the sequence down for arm movements I cannot seem to stop tripping over my own feet...always something, lol. Like I said before I really appreciate you alls input in this thread, very helpful!


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## Gemini (Oct 2, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> When I first had to do arm extensions on the guy instructing me I was like OMG I have _touch_ him? It was a bit unnerving to me as I am not a touchy type person to begin with. I won't even let my own relatives hug me (with the exception of my daughter), and I am serious about that. I value personal space very highly. I must sound like a total weirdo, I know.


 It's called being "soft touch sentitive" and you're not alone. Many people are. Makes contact a bit difficult, but like anything else, the more you do it, the more you'll get used to it. I had a real problem with it early on myself. Don't sweat it. You'll be fine.


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## Jelik (Oct 2, 2005)

When I first started (when I was 15) it took me about a month to get used to "hitting" people. Of course, as I was 15, I over-compensated of course! Levelled out after people hit me back


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## Andrew Green (Oct 2, 2005)

Well, hitting people is usually not really a nice thing to do, so it makes sense that you'd feel weird about it.

 And if you have never done it before, even more so.  Usually this applies to females, as unlike males they often didn't grow up play fighting and generally beating each other up for fun.

 But, in a martial arts class not hitting people is the not nice thing, as if you don't train to hit them, they can't train to avoid getting hit, or take a hit and continue.

 Of course hitting them harder then they want you to is still not nice and shouldn't be done.  But if you are training, and someone (who is sane) wants you to hit them, then you should.  The more senior people have been doing this for years, and no what is safe and what is not. Trust them, and realise that hitting people is important, providing that is the level they want to take there training too.

 It is also important for you, in your training.  If you have a hard time hitting someone with protective gear in place and knowing (at least consciously) that you won't really hurt them, It may be hard to really hit someone, and try to hurt them if the need ever arrises.

 Play fighting is natural though, every species of mammals does it in some way.  Without it we would never have survived.


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## arnisador (Oct 2, 2005)

Andrew Green said:
			
		

> But, in a martial arts class not hitting people is the not nice thing, as if you don't train to hit them, they can't train to avoid getting hit, or take a hit and continue.


 Yes, this is an important point!

 But if it takes a new students a few weeks or months to get used to it--no big deal, on the scale of years or decades of future practice.


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## Agrosch (Nov 8, 2005)

I had this VERY same problem as well.
 then one day I landed a 360 roundhouse (kind of) on a kid(note I am a yellowbelt... I wans't even tuaght the move yet.)
From that day forth I've felt differently.

There are several thigns you can do to speed up to process, but it'll take time reguardless.
Just remember.
They wouldn't be there if they didn't want to do this. Would you appologize to some mad man trying to beat you? I think not. They expect to get hit, hitting them is acctually helping them.
Took me 4 months of taking those kicks and punches to realize this.
I'm tougher for it; however, my sparring skills are lacking becuase of it.
Hope this helps and good luck!


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## ChineseKempoJerry (Nov 8, 2005)

Everyday I feel wierd about hitting someone.  Every year I feel worse!  The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that maybe it is helping them in some way, whether it is the discipline they receive or it is the confidence growing in them as they discover things about themselves that they never knew.

Trust me, they like hitting me back more!

Good luck in your journey and keep hitting them back

Best Regards,

Sifu Jerry


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## terryl965 (Nov 8, 2005)

I have been doing this for over forty year and even today I feel wierd hitting anybody, the only time I don't is when I'm sparring someone that I know can handle the stituation. Beginners are always going to feel this way.
terry


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## autumn1973 (Nov 15, 2005)

I _still_  somewhat have a hard time of it but it has been getting better. 

Tonight I had to spar with the younger of my 2 instructors and I tried to give it to him good but I held back a bit because he has bad knees and I did not want to go re-injuring him. One time I had a good shot at his nose but I just wound up bashing him on the edge of his headgear to let him know I could have gone there if I had wanted to. He told me I should have nailed him in the nose but I don't see the reasoning of that as long as I knew I could have hit him and so did he. Obviously, IRL if someone was attacking I _would_ go there if necessary.


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## Sarah (Nov 15, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I _still_ somewhat have a hard time of it but it has been getting better.
> 
> Tonight I had to spar with the younger of my 2 instructors and I tried to give it to him good but I held back a bit because he has bad knees and I did not want to go re-injuring him. One time I had a good shot at his nose but I just wound up bashing him on the edge of his headgear to let him know I could have gone there if I had wanted to. He told me I should have nailed him in the nose but I don't see the reasoning of that as long as I knew I could have hit him and so did he. Obviously, IRL if someone was attacking I _would_ go there if necessary.


 

I think you make an excellent point, when sparing in class there is no real need to bash the snot out of people, after all you are just training and pointing out your partners weaknesses, a tap is all that is needed to let them know they had a hole there and to watch that next time. 

In my opinion during sparing, you are there to make your partner a better sparer and visa versa, you are not there just to try and beat them up and show off!

Good luck with your training


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## Shaolinwind (Nov 15, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know. I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


 
If I feel I might have been a little too rough, a simple "you ok?" typically does the trick..  Most of the guys in my class enjoy some bruising anyhow.

  But if you want to apologize every time you make contact, that's your option.  I see nothing wrong with it.

Welcome to mt, by the way!


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## Clint Strickland (Dec 20, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know. I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


 


 First of all......... WELCOME TO MARTIAL TALK lol. I still say sorry from time to time as well, but no youre not the only one. Good luck with trying to stop I know I am lol.


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## DeLamar.J (Dec 21, 2005)

autumn1973 said:
			
		

> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know. I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


You will get over it. I find this kind of, for lack of better words "cute". I hate saying that word, it makes me feel like a wimp LOL! People are like this all the time at first. The wierd thing about this is, they are always the ones who end up beating up on everyone in the end. I like the shy students, they normally develop the best for some reason.


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## splazzatch (Dec 21, 2005)

To jump in and comment on this I think that the reason the shy students develop the best may be the fact that they are the humblest students because they feel inadequate and once it "clicks" for them they know they can do it. 

Maybe not, but that's how it was for me.


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## crysis (Dec 22, 2005)

i like hitting people. i dont like getting hit. i just dont hit hard. i make contact for reaction, but rarely will it hurt my partner.


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## bluemtn (Dec 23, 2005)

I have the problem in doing certain SD techniques.  Someone in class keeps telling me it's ok to hit a little more than just a light tap.  It's just hard for me, because for one- never could hit good unless I was upset/ mad, and two-  they're my "classmate", and I don't want to do any damage (like I forget how much force to actually put in without getting kicked out).


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## mantis (Dec 23, 2005)

i felt happy hitting a guy with a stick last year
it was very comforting!
my coworkers bowed to me everyday after that too


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## Carol (Jan 16, 2006)

I've been training for a little over six months.  I've slowly been able to get over the weird feeling, but not completely.  

At my yellow belt graduation, I had to perform three techniques (my choice).  He told us that he expected us to hit him.   I trust my instructor, and I respect him. But, I chose a technique that involves a handsword to the throat.  I felt sick landing the blow.  Even though all of my instructors congratulated me on my execution, the sound and the feel of that hit still rattles me a bit.


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## Odin (Jan 16, 2006)

you know when I first started muay thai my kru would ask me to hit him or hit him harder then I was already doing so but i was like 'nah man i wont to your a mate,I dont want to rbuise your face ,plus I've seen your girlfriend she'll kill me!'' I got over it though....still have a distancing problem sometimes though.


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## Sin (Jan 20, 2006)

Just rememmber that you hit as hard as you want to be hit...People are there to train, and you can't train in Martial Arts without getting hot at one point or another...If you truelly huirt someone apoligize, but if you tap them, or graze them and they do not react in pain, then do not.  just get re-focused take a deep breath and try again, and try to do better.  Keep your focus.


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## TigerWoman (Jan 20, 2006)

What was weird for me as a white belt mother was to hit my children who were red belts.  Well, I was a white belt, so didn't get too many in and they were light.  But they had no problem clobbering me.  The instructor had to rein them back! TW


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## FearlessFreep (Jan 20, 2006)

I seem to have been a little more discomforted by people hitting me then by me hitting them..


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## beau_safken (Jan 20, 2006)

Hmmm I think the most disheartening thing for me was when I had to spar with my instructor.  I have a hard time attacking someone that I respect with intent to harm.  Yea, Its just for practice but I am just that kinda person.  Other people on the other hand, I don't have such hang ups about.


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## Jagermeister (Feb 6, 2006)

Beau, I felt the same way.  It's one thing if you're in a real brawl with someone you don't like and don't mind hurting, but with someone you respect, it's quite a mental hurdle to overcome.  I just started sparring, and at first with my instructor.  I remember reading this thread thinking "Oh, no problem. I don't have a problem hitting anyone.  Sparring will be a cinch."  As soon as we touched gloves to start, it all changed.  All of a sudden, I'm aiming jabs at my instructor's forehead rather than his face and not really trying to land the cross at all.  What made it worse was that I took a lot more shots for not being aggressive enough.  Hope I snap out of it soon.  No fun getting treated like a heavy bag.


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## Jagermeister (Feb 7, 2006)

Actually, I think this sums it up best:



> "I like fighting, but I hate hurting people."
> -- Tonya Harding on her fledgling boxing career


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## ufsofpa (Feb 9, 2006)

First of all, welcome to martial arts. Ok lets get down to business, hitting is something that happens all the time. Its training. When I started JKD and Combat Sombo, St. Patricks day is 6 years, I had no problem hitting my partners, its called sparring. And it is a vital part of training. Dont say sorry, just keep going. Your should be aware that hitting, even on accident is part of the game. You get hit or you hit him or her, brush it off and  continue.

 rick


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## Zarnyk (Feb 24, 2006)

I felt the same way when I first started.  Overcoming the fear of encrouching on someones personnal space in the effort to further your Martial Arts training is a must.  The more you work with a partner, the quicker you will get over this uncomfortable feeling.  Good luck!


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## bushidomartialarts (Mar 7, 2006)

funny story:

my dad started training at our school a year ago.  he started sparring about six months back.  

i can't bring myself to hit him.  i've trained a long time and thrown hooks with champion fighters, small children and little old ladies.  but i can't bring myself to throw a real punch at my dad.

now he'll wade into me like he's moving with a purpose.  we joke that he's been waiting 30 years for the chance.

but for the life of me i can't hit my old man.


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## Rick Wade (Mar 7, 2006)

I only feel weird when they don't react like I want them to.  

V/R

Rick


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## Marvin (Mar 7, 2006)

bushidomartialarts said:
			
		

> funny story:
> 
> my dad started training at our school a year ago. he started sparring about six months back.
> 
> ...


 
Funny you should say that. My dad has been in the MA since I was 6 or 7, I am now on the backside of my 30's . I have have always been his training dummy. He still teaches Aikido, and helps me teach my guys how to fall. He likes nothing beter to punch me in the head.


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## whitetiger2001 (Sep 3, 2006)

autumn1973 said:


> I just started training this past week and I find it hard to actually land any blows on people I don't know. I had no problem hitting my husband...want to do _that _most days anyway...but other people, I felt weird about it.
> 
> I keep making a fool out of myself saying "I'm sorry" every time I have to hit someone. I just wanted to know if others have felt this way when they first began. I am also having a problem following the sequences of some blocks and forms but that's a whole 'nother ballgame.


 
   The first time I had to make contact was after my black belt test.  Out school wanted to develop control and so contact was a progressive state with black being the majic rank.  One of the other students on my test was a former instructer who was going for his second degree.  He'd been slow to progress because of his job and his military commitments.   
   It was during a gaunlet where the first degree canditates had to pass through those going for rank.  He rushed me and a palmed him in the ribs.   All he coulds say after was "I know you've been waiting for that."
   But it did feel weird and that dfeeling does go away once you're used to the idea of hitting without hurting someone.


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## KenpoSterre (Sep 3, 2006)

the only time I felt really weird was when I was hitting someone old enough to be my grandfather in the groin for the first week. Also seeing I was a whitebelt with no control...


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## Karita (Nov 20, 2006)

My first TKD school had an instructor who caused injuries.  I left as soon as I realized what was going on and found a school that focused on positive spirit and respect toward our fellow students.

The instructor I had at the time (mid-1990s) emphasized light contact to the point where our students took pride in having control.  If you made contact with the dots on the chest protector, (and light touch to the padded helmet) that was good form.  You made your point by pointing out openings with a kick or punch.  We did not bruise or injure our classmates.  If we were well conditioned and stretched adequately, very few students had injuries.  We were taught to evade or deflect kicks - never hard on hard blocks because legs are stronger than arms.  We worked on a lot of footwork and counter-attacks.

My current instructor looks the other way if students hit or kick each other in places that are unpadded.  It really bothers me because that is not the way I was brought up in TKD.  I'm used to getting a deflected punch or kick here or there but not full force punches or kicks that are off target.  I consider that partner to be out of control and that would be the worst comment you could make about a TKD student.


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## thewhitemikevick (Nov 20, 2006)

It all comes with time. Concentrate. A deeper center of focus will allow you to overcome any psychological blocks you might have that prevent you from training to the extent that you should.


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## Seeking Zen (Dec 13, 2006)

Being newer to training (1 year)...I still have a hard time sparring with women....the funny thing is many ladies that I train with could easily clobber me.  But I just havn't got to a point of comfort with hitting women.  I am not sure I ever will?????  It goes against all my social upbringing.


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## Touch Of Death (Dec 13, 2006)

Seeking Zen said:


> Being newer to training (1 year)...I still have a hard time sparring with women....the funny thing is many ladies that I train with could easily clobber me. But I just havn't got to a point of comfort with hitting women. I am not sure I ever will????? It goes against all my social upbringing.


You owe it to there training to hit them. Reality bites and you need to help them put a muzzle on it.
Srean


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## Slihn (Dec 22, 2006)

Hello guys,
                   I have been training Martial Arts most of my life and Muay Thai off and on for the past three years and I still sometimes feel bad when I hit someone.Often times I find my self too saying things like "sorry" of I connect to the faceor times when other students will come back and show me their leg(which is all black and blue from low kicks)In sparring I always try to show respect to the fighter so that he knows that any physical hram done is not intentional.It might sound wieard but even though I train Muay Thai still dont like to hurt people.


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## edwardcloud (Dec 22, 2006)

Actually i did not care too much when I am younger. But nowadays I dont really want to do that. I prefer katas more than sparring.


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## Tez3 (Dec 23, 2006)

If you are training with women it's patronising to go soft on them. You don't owe women anymore than you owe men when training that's a bit patronising too, sorry! I don't feel funny about hitting people, I feel much funnier being hit! My MA is full contact, no headguards and a KO wins (so does a submission though)


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## Mariachi Joe (Dec 31, 2006)

no, seemed naturally considering the surroundings


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## Seeking Zen (Jan 2, 2007)

Tez3 said:


> If you are training with women it's patronising to go soft on them. You don't owe women anymore than you owe men when training that's a bit patronising too, sorry! I don't feel funny about hitting people, I feel much funnier being hit! My MA is full contact, no headguards and a KO wins (so does a submission though)


 
It's not that I go easy. That would have me on the floor in a second!.  I simply still don't feel as comfortable hitting women as I do men. I'm sure as more time goes by I'll get used to it.  I got used to sparring with no protective gear (light gloves optional).


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## Drac (Jan 2, 2007)

Tez3 said:


> If you are training with women it's patronising to go soft on them. You don't owe women anymore than you owe men when training that's a bit


 
That's one of the biggest complaints I hear about other LEO instructors..These ladies are going do the same job as the men, they deserve the same quality and intensity of training..


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## kosho (Jan 2, 2007)

Start with what feels good for you. then as you grow and hit more you will be able to control how hard you hit  and  what not.. then after awhile you will hit some one  and say thats training... good luck  and never move backwards to move forwards
 kosho


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## subster (Jan 3, 2007)

I was a bit weirded out by it at first and grew more confidient in my ability to control my strikes. Until I accidently biffed a class mate with a full on whipping back knuckle to thier jaw. My master tells me that since that day my speed has decreased and I need to get over it because accidents happen.


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## ares (Jan 4, 2007)

You shouldn't feel bad about hitting people in class (you have to show alittle love). I feel that I should get to feel what a attacker will feel if they were after me. It's all part of the game. ares


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## Hawke (Jan 10, 2007)

I have been doing various martial arts for a while and still feel funny when I spar a friend.  

I also feel funny when I kick someone.

I feel more comfortable hitting with my hands, elbows, and knees.

But if a loved one is endangered....I go all out. No regrets.


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## pankration (Jan 17, 2007)

You know how it feels when you smack a baseball off the sweet spot? a golf ball when it is driven right down the fairway? That's how it feels for me when I really connect. I'm not into hurting people but quite frankly when a perfect technique lands clean and hard, I get a thrill right down to my toes. I used to live to spar and in the old days (Chuck Norris was still young) martial arts schools didn't live in fear of litigation. Fighting could be furious and we often fought challenge matches against people from other schools. Would I want my children to experience this? No way. Intentionally trying to hurt someone has no place in a modern society but goddammit those wild and woolly days were a hell of a lot of fun.
By the way, the first and only time I went easy on a "girl" she laced me with a roundhouse kick to the chest that cracked my ribs. Never again.


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## whitetiger2001 (Jun 6, 2007)

Karita said:


> My first TKD school had an instructor who caused injuries. I left as soon as I realized what was going on and found a school that focused on positive spirit and respect toward our fellow students.
> 
> The instructor I had at the time (mid-1990s) emphasized light contact to the point where our students took pride in having control. If you made contact with the dots on the chest protector, (and light touch to the padded helmet) that was good form. You made your point by pointing out openings with a kick or punch. We did not bruise or injure our classmates. If we were well conditioned and stretched adequately, very few students had injuries. We were taught to evade or deflect kicks - never hard on hard blocks because legs are stronger than arms. We worked on a lot of footwork and counter-attacks.
> 
> My current instructor looks the other way if students hit or kick each other in places that are unpadded. It really bothers me because that is not the way I was brought up in TKD. I'm used to getting a deflected punch or kick here or there but not full force punches or kicks that are off target. I consider that partner to be out of control and that would be the worst comment you could make about a TKD student.


 
  My old school prides itself on developing control and it's enforced by all the instructors with all students.  The philosophy is that a good martial artist has control over how hard he/she hits.  This is escpeially important at the higher ranks where the material is more destructive. Students are there to learn, not get the crap beaten out of them and I have no respect for any instructor who ingores the safety of his/her students.


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## ..n.. (Jun 6, 2007)

I feel kind of bad now.  I got into MT to dish out and take beatings in a controlled setting.  There of course are some philosophical and physical reasons along with the fact I enjoy learning and being part of a team but really at the heart of it I wanted to fight.


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