# Oh my!  These people need help!



## bluemtn (Feb 16, 2006)

I found this site, and wondering if anyone else has seen it. I'm not sure if it's for real, and I certainly hope it isn't. If it is, someone has major issues! Is it a real life McDojo, or a hoax? See for yourselves:

http://cosmicfighting.741.com


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## Cujo (Feb 16, 2006)

People never cease to amaze me! The worst thing is, that somebody is actually going to pay this guy money. :erg: 
Pax
Cujo


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## AdrenalineJunky (Feb 16, 2006)

Dang alien abductions!


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## terryl965 (Feb 16, 2006)

It could be real or it could be memeorex.
TERRY


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## MartialIntent (Feb 16, 2006)

_The infamous little grey men with large black eyes told Salusbury to spread this martial art to all Earthlings, Salusbury alleges_

...let me guess - with nothing more than his overwhelming natural charisma and a small space on a free webhost - these alien sorts didn't think enough of him to materialize a couple of crates of denaro, an anti-gravity dojo and some ultra-cool cosmic weapons then?

Similarly, we can only assume these alien abductors, despite travelling across galaxies, weren't intelligent enough to realize that everybody here on earth would think their emissary was a crock?

And of course, there's no chance this guy's on a ludicrous, alien-martial-arts trip because in doing so he can declare himself no less than "*Celestial Grandmaster*" - none of your _earthly_ Grandmaster nonsense oh no - _celestial_ GM so that's how we know this is for real, right?

Still... he's promising Telekinesis and I could _kinda_ do with that. Wonder does he give a money back guarantee? Hehe.


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## bcbernam777 (Feb 16, 2006)

Go into the pictures section, look for the gun disarm sequence and tell me for ten points what is wrong with this picture



:jedi1: :whip:


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## Drac (Feb 16, 2006)

Oh my God..That is WRONG on so many levels..


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## bcbernam777 (Feb 16, 2006)

Drac said:
			
		

> Oh my God..That is WRONG on so many levels..


 
They obviously dont want any children :uhyeah:


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## Bob Hubbard (Feb 16, 2006)

I feel dirty now. Oh man......


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## Drac (Feb 16, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> They obviously dont want any children :uhyeah:


 
They obviously don't want students either..


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## tradrockrat (Feb 16, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> Go into the pictures section, look for the gun disarm sequence and tell me for ten points what is wrong with this picture
> 
> 
> 
> :jedi1: :whip:


 
< In my best childrens sing-song voice> He's gonna get his wee-wee shot off! LMAO!


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## Flying Crane (Feb 16, 2006)

It's kind of fun reading...


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## Bigshadow (Feb 16, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> It's kind of fun reading...



Definitely very entertaining! :rofl:


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## bluemtn (Feb 16, 2006)

There are too many things wrong with that picture.  The guy with the gun is just standing there, smiling.  I couldn't stop laughing- everywhere I went on the site was just too funny!


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## SAVAGE (Feb 16, 2006)

Dam you mean its not real....I wonder if they give refunds!


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 16, 2006)

Apparently if you spend 11 years on the aliens planet acquiring the knowledge of a revolutionary fighting system it ages you very fast (he is supposedly 52) and it has something to do with white gloves. 

But I mean how can you doubt someone who was abducted by aliens


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## Flying Crane (Feb 16, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> Go into the pictures section, look for the gun disarm sequence and tell me for ten points what is wrong with this picture
> 
> 
> 
> :jedi1: :whip:


 
Well now really, I think you guys are all just being a bit overly judgemental.  I mean if you would just stop for a moment and READ the caption that goes along with those pictures, you would see that it all makes perfect sense.

*"He telepathically connects with the assailant, anticipating his move."*  Clearly, Celestial Master Hemme is in a postion to know if the gun is about to go off or not.

*"With his hands, he transforms Photonic Energy into Spectral Acidic Radiation, melting the inner lining of the gun.  As the gun becomes inoperable, he yanks it away and disarms the assailant."*  Clearly the gun is no longer any good, so it doesn't matter where it is being pointed.  

The only part I am unclear on his just how *"he yanks it way and disarms the assailant."*  This part has me puzzled, and I'd really like to figure it out...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 16, 2006)

Read the alert on the classes page and tell me that doesn't sound a little scary.

All I can say is don't drink the kool aide.


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## Flying Crane (Feb 16, 2006)

OK, go to the Artform Page and scroll down to the diagram entitled "The Anatomy of Photonic Energy in the Humanoid Body."  On the diagram of the humanoid body, check out the location of the "Systemic Nodules, Area where Photonic Energy is Transformed into Tremendous Physical Strength."


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## Flying Crane (Feb 16, 2006)

OK folks, I pulled up the Classes page, and saw a list of locations that they claim to have been teaching at.  The first on the list, where apparently Mr. George Salusbury himself was teaching before taking his little trip out to the Orion Constellation, is the Marquette Arts and Culture Center in Marquette, Michigan.  I looked up their number and gave them a call, and inquired if they offered any martial arts instruction, specifically any classes taught by George Salusbury or Jason Ziegler.

The woman who answered the phone had no knowledge of these people, but also stated that she has only been working there since last november, so perhaps they were teaching there prior to her arrival.  I then told her about the website, and how lunatic it looked, and suggested that they might want to check it out and get these guys to remove any implied connections to the Culture Center, as it is just too crackpot.  She thanked me for the info, said they would look into it, and would also let me know if she ever finds out anything about these people, if they ever did have a connection to the Culture Center.

I'll keep you all informed if I ever hear anything more.


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## Kacey (Feb 16, 2006)

Just when I think I've seen the worst degradation of the martial arts for fun and/or profit, someone goes and proves me wrong!


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 16, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> prior to her arrival.


 
From where?


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## Flying Crane (Feb 16, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> From where?


 
That's funny dude, but not what I meant.

Prior to her arrival as a legitimate employee of the Center.


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 16, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> That's funny dude, but not what I meant.
> 
> Prior to her arrival as a legitimate employee of the Center.


 
I'm sorry, I was fairly certain that is not what you meant, but I just couldn't resist.

I do however applaud your efforts.

What concerns me is the alternate location alert and the somewhat cultish nature of this page. It may be a hoax, but it may be real.
Also the number of popup that it attempts to pop up may be attempting to install spyware or malicious software as well.


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## evenflow1121 (Feb 16, 2006)

Hmm, its quite interesting, this website is; $500/month lessons and some of studio locations include basements of strip clubs.


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## bcbernam777 (Feb 16, 2006)

Actually you know what the most depressing thing about this is? That any fool can win converts to anything (me thinks i will dream up an MA for fun and profit telling the world that I was abducted by a group of land/sea dwelling dolphins who understand how to manipulate the tides and the moon cycles to produce a powerfull energy that makes Chi look like a fizzle in comparason [any one else in, we will be sipping margarita's within the year])


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## TimoS (Feb 17, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> [any one else in, we will be sipping margarita's within the year])


I would if I just could keep a straight face


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## Drac (Feb 17, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> any one else in,


 
Sign me up today...


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 17, 2006)

But who gets to be the Grand Celestial Poobaa


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## White Fox (Feb 17, 2006)

LOONIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sure hope people don't take this nutter for real!!!!!!!


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## Flying Crane (Feb 17, 2006)

evenflow1121 said:
			
		

> Hmm, its quite interesting, this website is; $500/month lessons and some of studio locations include basements of strip clubs.


 
yeah, i noticed that as well.


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## bcbernam777 (Feb 18, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> But who gets to be the Grand Celestial Poobaa



We will decide that by consulting goat entrails


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## Xue Sheng (Feb 18, 2006)

I have looked and looked at this page and one thing keeps coming into my mind, "Heaven's Gate". 

Does this strike anyone else in this way?


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## bluemtn (Feb 19, 2006)

Xue Sheng said:
			
		

> I have looked and looked at this page and one thing keeps coming into my mind, "Heaven's Gate".
> 
> Does this strike anyone else in this way?


 
Same here-  someone at another place told me they went into hiding!


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## DuneViking (Feb 19, 2006)

Yea, Yea, but can they handle Garibaldi, Minbari, or a P12 Psycop like Bester, and don't even try to tell me they can go up agsinst Vorlons! I think I'll have a breakfast combo # 1 please, with OJ, no coffee. 
 :bs: :ticked:  :feedtroll :viking1:


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## Cryozombie (Feb 19, 2006)

Well, Ill tell ya what.

I was willing to overlook the whole thing... not pay any attention to this Space Alien garbage...

UNTIL someone said it was being taught in strip clubs.

NOW I NEED TO JOIN. DAMN.  THERES HIS HOOK RIGHT THERE!​


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## ppko (Feb 20, 2006)

I already have my oppinion but would like to hear yours
http://cosmicfighting.741.com/


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## kenpojujitsu (Feb 20, 2006)

This was covered here and on e-budo a few times.
I don't know what to make of this?
Is it a joke?  I hope so.


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## terryl965 (Feb 20, 2006)

Yes this is a actual group and they believe eveery single bit of info.
I would love to join this type of group but I'm affraid I just cannot never be like them.Terry


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## Laborn (Feb 20, 2006)

The negative energy gathering in dark mass, i dont think that is possible, but then again anything is possible. There have been many people in the past *and still going on* that claim they have seen or have been abducted by aliens. Honeslty i dont know what to believe, i tend to believe they do it for attention, but i dont know the truth so i cant judge.

Laborm


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## scottcatchot (Feb 20, 2006)

My opinion is that he is full of.... well anyway lets just say I have my doubts.


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## Fluffy (Feb 20, 2006)

Hmm......


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## shesulsa (Feb 20, 2006)

_*Moderator Note:  Thread moved to Horror Stories.

G Ketchmark / shesulsa
MT Senior Moderator*_


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## Sarah (Feb 20, 2006)

There is already a thread about these guys..check it out:
http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31010


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## Kreth (Feb 20, 2006)

scottcatchot said:
			
		

> My opinion is that he is full of.... well anyway lets just say I have my doubts.


I believe the phrase you're looking for is that "his fecal storage is at 100% capacity." :uhyeah:


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## Flatlander (Feb 20, 2006)

Sarah said:
			
		

> There is already a thread about these guys..check it out:
> http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31010


Mod Note:  Threads merged.

-Dan Bowman-
-MT SuperMod-


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## bluemtn (Feb 24, 2006)

It's the never ending loop!  I've never seen this happen!
Yes- I know what happened, it's just funny!


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## digitalronin (Feb 25, 2006)

Strip malls help raise the energy levels of members :jedi1:



Whats with the cop teaching this bs art?


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## mj_lover (Feb 26, 2006)

wow, thats great!!! if anyone takes this serious, they deserve to be out 500/mo..funniest site i've sene in a while!


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## hong kong fooey (Feb 27, 2006)

okay that is just plain stupid! first off who would ever belive this guy in the first place? and the most scariest thing is that people are actully paying him to teach him this worthless stuff.


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## bluemtn (Feb 27, 2006)

hong kong fooey said:
			
		

> okay that is just plain stupid! first off who would ever belive this guy in the first place? and the most scariest thing is that people are actully paying him to teach him this worthless stuff.


 
He must have taken too much drugs in the 70's, or something....   I know I wouldn't shell out that much money for something so rediculous.


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## bydand (Feb 27, 2006)

This has to be a joke site!  Please tell me this is a joke site.  For one thing where the Grand Poobah was taken isn't even in Marquette county, the cop teaching on Hoague Rd. would be a bit out of town because Bear Lake dosen't even have a Hoague Road near it. (Closest one is down in Free Soil 20 or so miles south) and that IS in Grant Township.  But hey, being able to channel  PooBah Chi from space while vibrating your molocules isn't something you can just pick up at the "Y" you know.  I about wet myself reading through the site though.  

Just for giggles I may have to check out the Grant Township Community Center class it is only 5 miles from my house.  Might be interesting to see if anybody (or anything) shows up. LOL  I'll post back Wed. night, unless of course the spaceship dosen't have an internet connection, then it may be another 11 years before you hear from old Scotty again.:jedi1:


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## bluemtn (Feb 28, 2006)

Please keep us posted!  It should be interesting to see(hear) what you came across.  Hopefully you won't get "beamed" up!:rofl:


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## TimoS (Feb 28, 2006)

tkdgirl said:
			
		

> Hopefully you won't get "beamed" up!:rofl:



Yep, that's what I hope also  

I've also considered that this must be a joke because on the same host there is also a "sexual kung-fu". Maybe it is just a co-incidence...


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## Gentle Fist (Mar 1, 2006)

This has to be a joke?  

If this was 1970, we could just do a little dojo challenge and this crap would be over....


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## Xue Sheng (Mar 1, 2006)

bydand said:
			
		

> I'll post back Wed. night, unless of course the spaceship dosen't have an internet connection, then it may be another 11 years before you hear from old Scotty again.:jedi1:


 
It's Wednesday night......uh oh....


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## bydand (Mar 2, 2006)

:erg::erg:  Wow, Earth looks REALLY small from way up here!!  Do not make fun of my Master.   LOL  Enjoyable evening, never thought a probe could be enjoyable .  

This is going to come as a shock I know, but NOTHING.  Nobody there, nobody at the community center ever heard of the group, never heard of the person who was the "instructor" at this location.  Did a bit of checking further and the person I talked to at Bear Lake never heard of this officer either.  

Marquette Arts and Culture has never heard of this group.

Millington Community Center has never heard of this group, or instructor;   but was very helpful in giving me the information about the Tae Kwon Do classes that are held there, no other MA's though.

New Flint Neighborhood Program?  Couldn't contact anybody in Flint that has heard of the program, let along the instructor or  classes.

Head Start in Davison,  MI  - Held at the Catholic church at the address given.  Never heard of the group, or instructor; plus would NOT let any group like this use facilities.

Sorry Technopunk, but Cheetahs Gentlemens Club isn't even at the address given.  I was looking forward to checking out this one also!!  "Landing Strip Lounge" and "Touch of Class Valet"  are at the address given, and neither of them have heard of this stuff.

Have to say it is a total spoof site, based on the above.

(Either that or I was abducted and now at a Delta 8 3/4 location trying to throw off everybody :whip: )  

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Scott G.


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## Xue Sheng (Mar 2, 2006)

bydand said:
			
		

> :erg::erg: Wow, Earth looks REALLY small from way up here!! Do not make fun of my Master. LOL Enjoyable evening, never thought a probe could be enjoyable .
> 
> This is going to come as a shock I know, but NOTHING. Nobody there, nobody at the community center ever heard of the group, never heard of the person who was the "instructor" at this location. Did a bit of checking further and the person I talked to at Bear Lake never heard of this officer either.
> 
> ...


 
The aliens erased you memory didn't they!?


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## bluemtn (Mar 2, 2006)

YES!  Now a solution to the enigmatic "art"!  Thanks for checking that one out.  I think we can oficially say that the case is closed!  Unless, of course, you were hypnotized and brainwashed by some sort of ray?


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## searcher (Mar 3, 2006)

If people will buy this then I should be able to make a fortune selling moonstones at the front of the dojo.    These people need to get off of the crack and rejoin society.


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## bydand (Mar 4, 2006)

Oh Cranky, you have some moonstones?  I'll take a dozen!! LOL


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## thetruth (Mar 22, 2006)

bcbernam777 said:
			
		

> Go into the pictures section, look for the gun disarm sequence and tell me for ten points what is wrong with this picture:whip::jedi1:


 
 c'mon man it was a perfect disarm cos he melted the inside of the gun with spectral acidic radiation.  Get with the program

Cheers
Sam


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## bcbernam777 (Mar 22, 2006)

thetruth said:
			
		

> c'mon man it was a perfect disarm cos he melted the inside of the gun with spectral acidic radiation. Get with the program
> 
> Cheers
> Sam


 
Is that like the force man????? :idunno: :uhyeah:


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## bluemtn (Mar 27, 2006)

I think it's more like the shwartz, to be honest... :rofl:


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## wee_blondie (May 5, 2006)

Oh man that's funny!  I'd like to see a couple aliens come down here and take part in some matches - I reckon Muay Thai, Kali and BJJ would be a sight!

Reckon we could get him to the UK to teach???


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## Kacey (May 5, 2006)

And all this can be yours, for only $500/month tuition!  I particularly enjoyed telepathy coming through the belly button.


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## stone_dragone (May 5, 2006)

There should be a disclaimer 

"For Entertainment Purposes Only."


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## Hawke (Jun 5, 2007)

ROFL.......wow I needed a good laugh.

Too bad it's fake.  Always thought telekinesis would be a cool skill to learn.


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## Callandor (Jun 5, 2007)

AdrenalineJunky said:


> Dang alien abductions!


You gave me an idea! How about making www.martian-arts.com? Your opponent will be out of this world.


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## Kacey (Jun 5, 2007)

Callandor said:


> You gave me an idea! How about making www.martian-arts.com? Your opponent will be out of this world.



:roflmao:


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## JBrainard (Jun 5, 2007)

That website was too funny.


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## Nobody (Jun 5, 2007)

His web fu is good though so hay what can i say go fight aliens man this is classic.

I still have not stopped laughing yet!  Aliens taught him how to do the internet scam!

:jediduel:


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## thetruth (Jun 9, 2007)

bcbernam777 said:


> Go into the pictures section, look for the gun disarm sequence and tell me for ten points what is wrong with this picture
> 
> 
> 
> :jedi1: :whip:



Nothing is wrong with that picture. Were you not reading? He melted the inside of the gun with his photonic radiation.  Come on people, get with the program.:erg:

Cheers
Sam:asian:


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