# Magic Martial Arts.



## arnisador (Dec 30, 2003)

(Seen on E-Budo.) Check out this site:



> Sleight-of-hand techniques have always been used by magicians in everything from card tricks to death-defying escape acts. These sleight-of-hand movements are now incorporated into deadly use in street combat.
> 
> _An M.N.S.S. practitioner confronts an oncoming attacker. The attacker throws a right punch. The practitioner, while doing a flicking motion with his left hand, simultaneously blocks the punch. The attacker, so distracted by the flicking motion of the left hand, didnt even know where the block came from. The practitioner, with his blocking arm, quickly does a waving motion toward the corner of the attackers left eye. The attacker then realizes another individual has snuck up behind him and has applied a rear choke hold from the back. Looking slightly to the side, the attacker realizes that its not another individual, but it is the same M.N.S.S. practitioner that he was confronting who had vanished in front of him and re-appeared directly in back of him. Before he can fully fathom what has happened, he is choked into submission. _
> 
> No, its not magic or sorcery. Master Hans Eric Bristol has applied the concepts of the blind side, visual redirection, and peripheral evasion into streetfighting. M.N.S.S. will teach you the secret arts of mind trickery and response-reaction predictions which will allow you to control your opponent's every move.



It's straight out of a comic book! Mandrake the Magician! I'm honestly not sure if it's a joke or not. They have a forum that seems filled with people asking if its a joke or not.


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## Cruentus (Dec 30, 2003)

Wow...things just get stupider.

PAUL


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## RCastillo (Dec 30, 2003)

Great, 22 years down the drain..................................


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## rmcrobertson (Dec 31, 2003)

That was great!

I particularly liked:

a) the challenge to the Gracies ("will pay 10, 500 dollars...," and why'd he pick THAT number?)...

b) the quote, "Nothing is more important than the ejaculation of knowledge."

c) and, my personal fave and not to be missed, this guy's having written a, "pre-Genesis," right before going on to explain his new religion, Tattooism, which I swear he says is named after Tattoo on "Fantasy Island," because Tattoo on, "Fantasy Island," is the avatar of the human race's search for enlightenment...

wait a second, that kinda makes sense.

Thanks for the site, which was truly hilarious.


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## pknox (Dec 31, 2003)

> _Originally posted by rmcrobertson _
> *because Tattoo on, "Fantasy Island," is the avatar of the human race's search for enlightenment...
> *



Ah!  Now I realize why I haven't become enlightened yet!  I didn't realize that a "search for enlightenment" required making a commercial for Dunkin Donuts.


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## theletch1 (Dec 31, 2003)

I can just see the guy with a deck of cards with different techniques on them...."Pick a card, any card." Trouble is,  you know that someone is gonna take this seriously.


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## NYCRonin (Jan 1, 2004)

Its been a few days since this topic has circulated in a few forums - I posted at length in one of them.
In retrospect - this has to be a 'hoax' site...although there are materials mentioned for sale - there is no ordering information accompanying it. Hardly a sound business idea. Someone from his part of the world tried to find him to no avail. A religious cult leader is generally easy to find - if he actually exists.
If I find anything concrete about this, I will post it in here.
Happy New Year to all.


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## TonyM. (Jan 1, 2004)

This could be a very effective martial art as it made my brain hurt just reading about it.


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## Hawke (Jun 5, 2007)

WOW....speechless.

Cosmic Do or Magic Martal Arts?

So many different arts to choose from.


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## tshadowchaser (Jun 5, 2007)

Yea well if you belive in them I can put togeather a mail order course for you with a black belt included for a resonable sum


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## Callandor (Jun 5, 2007)

tshadowchaser said:


> Yea well if you belive in them I can put togeather a mail order course for you with a black belt included for a resonable sum


Wait a minute! I thought the black belt will not be shipped immediately but only after 3 weeks of training! You're dishonoring the style!


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## ChingChuan (Jun 5, 2007)

Well, actually that doesn't sound too stupid, does it? The first part, I mean.
I've seen some people in another Pencak Silat style using 'strange' movements like waving their hands in the wrong direction as a distraction... But I do agree that this is a little too good to be true .


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## jks9199 (Jun 5, 2007)

ChingChuan said:


> Well, actually that doesn't sound too stupid, does it? The first part, I mean.
> I've seen some people in another Pencak Silat style using 'strange' movements like waving their hands in the wrong direction as a distraction... But I do agree that this is a little too good to be true .


Some of the principles of stage magic can be incorporated into fighting, just as they were incorporated into warfare during WWII.

As to the rest of this...  I can only hope it's a joke!


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## shesulsa (Jun 6, 2007)

Creating a distraction to disguise a technique or return attack?  I thought that was part and parcel of the deal?

Maybe I should check out the link, though it's four years old ....


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## shesulsa (Jun 6, 2007)

Oh, okay ... I got to the levitation part and gave up. :lfao:


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## Dave Leverich (Jun 6, 2007)

Good lord I haven't looked that site for years, Hans something right? (I refuse to look again, as the kids are asleep and I don't want to wake them ;p).
Does he still talk about bear testicles and examining his own feces?
Ask Balrog about this guy heh, we've had him as the running joke for years heh.


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## IcemanSK (Jun 6, 2007)

shesulsa said:


> Oh, okay ... I got to the levitation part and gave up. :lfao:


 
Wow, you didn't do the WHOLE course?! Where's the dedication in the Arts, anymore?


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## Balrog (Jun 8, 2007)

arnisador said:


> (Seen on E-Budo.) Check out this site:
> 
> 
> 
> It's straight out of a comic book! Mandrake the Magician! I'm honestly not sure if it's a joke or not. They have a forum that seems filled with people asking if its a joke or not.


 
That site has been around for years.  It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.  Ranks up next to the guy who will send you pictures of five "animal" stances, and when you send him back a letter certifying that you can do all five, plus a $50 processing fee, you earn your Black Belt in kung-fu.


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## thetruth (Jun 10, 2007)

Just another chuckle head!!!!!!!!!!  The amount of these guys out there is frightening.  He says he has opened a school in California, if anyone is near by hey should find out its address and check it out.  I like his gun defense.  He just needs to have a banana on his person at all times. 

Cheers
Sam:asian:


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## Balrog (Jul 24, 2007)

arnisador said:


> (Seen on E-Budo.) Check out this site:
> 
> It's straight out of a comic book! Mandrake the Magician! I'm honestly not sure if it's a joke or not. They have a forum that seems filled with people asking if its a joke or not.


 
That is one of my absolute favorite sites for martial arts humor!


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## BrandonLucas (Jan 1, 2008)

Ok, I know this thread is way old...but I just found it, and I would like to share this tibbit of information with everyone:

Excerpts for MNSS Newsletter #18935 

*Hans Eric Bristol Defeats Rickson Gracie 
*Ever since Hans Eric Bristol started sending Rickson Gracie numerous challenges, Rickson has not responded. Hans even used a male stripper messenger service to deliver the challenge to Rickson himself at his school in Pacific Palisades, California on January 23, 2004 to invoke a response from him. Still, nothing. On December 12, 2004, Hans Eric Bristol was finally able to challenge Rickson. At 2:00 A.M. in the morning, Hans through meditation made his celestial body separate from his physical body. His celestial body arrived at Rickson's home where Hans drew Rickson's celestial body out into the open. Rickson's celestial self accepted the challenge. Hans visualized a cage out in the Neo-Tranzoride realm where the fight was to take place. 
During the fight, Rickson attempted numerous takedowns. Hans was able to evade the takedowns by shifting his body to the side and visually redirecting Rickson's eyesight with a feinting motion. The frustrated Rickson attempted to punch. Hans was able to block and dodge many of the punches, but Rickson did land one sharp jab at Hans' face. Then suddenly, Hans darted, and he disappeared from Rickson's frontal view. Then Rickson was surprised to know that Hans was in back of him. He turned around where he was met with a left hook to the chin. Rickson was knocked out in 21.3 seconds. Hans Eric Bristol has won the challenge. Keep in mind, the Neo-Tranzoride realm is a place in the celestial plane where the physical laws of nature are EXACTLY the same as in reality as proven by neo-physicists, so this is valid victory. After the fight, Rickson woke up in his bedroom with a bruised chin with total memory of what has happened. Hans also was able to pinch Rickson's sacral nerve after he was knocked out which made him impotent. Hans imputed into Rickson's memory that he is the only one who can align his nerve function meridian, and that he will only do this if Rickson's would release a public letter telling of his defeat to Hans Eric Bristol Hans Eric Bristol thanks Rickson Gracie for accepting this challenge. Rickson Gracie is wholeheartedly respected. 

This, I swear, is from his newsletter, than can be linked here:  http://streetcombat.8m.com/update.html

Maybe someone should let Rickson know that he lost a fight in another realm, and is not impotent because of it.


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## Kacey (Jan 1, 2008)

All I can say is... the mind boggles.


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## BrandonLucas (Jan 1, 2008)

I strongly urge everyone to click on this link:  http://streetcombat.8m.com/update.html

I keep reading further and further down the page, and it just keeps getting better and better.  Scott Baio is excommunicated from this guy's secret society, and Baio's master is punished for having poor judgement....turns out that men have and women both have overies, but men's overies are "invisible"....Wow.


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## arnisador (Jan 1, 2008)

No Scott Baio? Count me out!

Seriously, this is just too much.


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## Kacey (Jan 1, 2008)

Keep reading down the page... they have a link to the Sexual Kung-Fu Institute, "The ancient healing art of intimacy".


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## arnisador (Jan 1, 2008)

I _told _them to remove the link to my school! I no longer wish to be associated with them.


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## tellner (Jan 1, 2008)

The outpatients are out in force tonight.


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## Gentle Fist (Jan 2, 2008)

Three letters....  WTF


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## TheArtofDave (Jan 11, 2008)

Wow in a perfect world I guess this guy would be King. Thankfully none of us are perfect. The true history of Martial Arts is a complete joke. I sincerely hope nobody ends up falling for this garbage but its just what I need for a damn good laugh.


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## CoryKS (Jan 11, 2008)

They should consider working a flash gun into their routi- er, techniques.  If their attackers are distracted by flicking motions, imagine how confounded they will be when fire shoots from their very fingers!


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