# The stupid things people do!



## bluemtn (May 26, 2006)

Has anyone ran into people (I'm sure you have) who just seem to be just "a few bricks shy"? If you have stories, care to share?  I'll start!

At my new job, there was this security gaurd (got transferred).  At first he seemed ok, but as time went on, he would say some of the dumbest things.  I ignored him, but one day his leg started to swell and someone had apparently told him there was just a lot of pressure and to relieve the pressure by puncturing his leg.  Common sense should tell you not to do this without a doctor, right?  Well, let's just say he missed a week because of that...  Then yesterday, another associate was joking around with the security guard.  They both were in a walk- in freezer, and the reg. associate told the gaurd to stick his tongue to the metal shelf in the freezer (not knowing any better about the idiot).  To his surprise, the guard just turned around, stuck out his tongue, and *PRESTO!*  Stuck guard.  The guard got a bit worried when he couldn't remove his tongue, and actually got mad at the associate!  I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the day!


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## MA-Caver (May 26, 2006)

tkdgirl said:
			
		

> Has anyone ran into people (I'm sure you have) who just seem to be just "a few bricks shy"? If you have stories, care to share?  I'll start!
> 
> At my new job, there was this security gaurd (got transferred).  At first he seemed ok, but as time went on, he would say some of the dumbest things.  I ignored him, but one day his leg started to swell and someone had apparently told him there was just a lot of pressure and to relieve the pressure by puncturing his leg.  Common sense should tell you not to do this without a doctor, right?  Well, let's just say he missed a week because of that...  Then yesterday, another associate was joking around with the security guard.  They both were in a walk- in freezer, and the reg. associate told the gaurd to stick his tongue to the metal shelf in the freezer (not knowing any better about the idiot).  To his surprise, the guard just turned around, stuck out his tongue, and *PRESTO!*  Stuck guard.  The guard got a bit worried when he couldn't remove his tongue, and actually got mad at the associate!  I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the day!



Given that... I'd remove the guard's  pants and left the freezer door open and called just about everyone I could get within shouting range to have a look see... oh yeah... find a camera too... geez.


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## Swordlady (May 26, 2006)

I was hanging out with some friends one night at my house - when all of a sudden, one of the guys decided to _slide down my stairs _on his stomach, headfirst.  Nothing happened to him; he didn't bang his head or anything.  But the rest of us stopped talking and just stared at our friend.  All I could say was, "Just what were you _thinking?_"  Apparently, he wasn't.


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## Kreth (May 26, 2006)

A few years ago I was in a bar where some drunken idiot was crushing beer cans with his forehead and winning drinks. He would place the can on the bar and slam his forehead down on the can, crushing it flat. 
The guy saw me shaking my head and grinning after winning one such bet, and came over and said that if he crushed my beer can, I'd have to buy him a beer and "take that stupid grin off your face."
I downed the last of my Sapporo, set the can on the bar and said, "Have at it." Now for those that don't know, Sapporo is a Japanese beer that comes in very thick-sided, corrugated cans. 
The macho man tells me to go ahead and order his drink, grabs the edge of the bar on either side of the Sapporo can, slams his forehead down on it, and immediately goes over backwards like he'd been hit with a baseball bat.
The funniest part was seeing the nice circular welt in the center of his forehead as his two friends helped him off the floor while trying not to laugh.


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## stone_dragone (Jun 4, 2006)

Even here in Iraq, I get the standard "Office Space" type of stupidity...

Following a reported mortar attack (that landed outside the perimeter and caused no damage or injury, btw) one of my 7 bosses comes running in asking about it...I tell him that I already have looked into it and nothing got hit, nothing got hurt and that there is no further information at this time...he then asked me does [our higher hq] know about it...I said yes...he then instructed me to call them back and gove them the update that I just gave him...trans:Call higher and tell tham that we have nothing to tell them!

I love idiots...they make the workd go round


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## Henderson (Jun 4, 2006)

I find that the greatest concentration of stupidity can be found when we simply look at ourselves.  With this in mind, I offer something I actually did myself.....

Our kitchen sink became clogged.  Naturally, I thought "just grab the plunger and viola, clog gone".  Well, after plunging unsuccessfully I decided I would take the elbow pipe out to see if I could manually clear the blockage.  I bailed the water from the sink into a very large bucket and removed the pipe.  The offending clog was in the elbow which I cleared.  The stupid part was that I dumped the bucket into the sink BEFORE I reattached the pipe!  What a mess!  My wife practically peed herself laughing at me.


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## OUMoose (Jun 5, 2006)

You have to wonder if some people's existence is only to serve as a warning to others.


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## trav101 (Jun 5, 2006)

Henderson said:
			
		

> I find that the greatest concentration of stupidity can be found when we simply look at ourselves. With this in mind, I offer something I actually did myself.....
> 
> Our kitchen sink became clogged. Naturally, I thought "just grab the plunger and viola, clog gone". Well, after plunging unsuccessfully I decided I would take the elbow pipe out to see if I could manually clear the blockage. I bailed the water from the sink into a very large bucket and removed the pipe. The offending clog was in the elbow which I cleared. The stupid part was that I dumped the bucket into the sink BEFORE I reattached the pipe! What a mess! My wife practically peed herself laughing at me.


 
Thanks for sharing that story. I agree that the greatest sillinesses come from looking at ourselves. No great stories come to mind of myself ( I know they are out there) but I do recall looking for pens for minutes at a time, only to discover they never left my hand!!!


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## hemi (Jun 6, 2006)

Henderson said:
			
		

> I find that the greatest concentration of stupidity can be found when we simply look at ourselves. With this in mind, I offer something I actually did myself.....
> 
> Our kitchen sink became clogged. Naturally, I thought "just grab the plunger and viola, clog gone". Well, after plunging unsuccessfully I decided I would take the elbow pipe out to see if I could manually clear the blockage. I bailed the water from the sink into a very large bucket and removed the pipe. The offending clog was in the elbow which I cleared. The stupid part was that I dumped the bucket into the sink BEFORE I reattached the pipe! What a mess! My wife practically peed herself laughing at me.


 
Ah dont feel bad I have almost done that a 100 times at work. You get in a hurry and forget that the p trap is removed and its such a normal thing to drain the pan or bucket into the sink.


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## hemi (Jun 6, 2006)

I see all kinds of unwise things people do or say at work. I work in a 40 story building down town Dallas. Since I maintain this building I have access to every part of the building and I interact with just about every one in the building. We had a window that lost its seal and built up fog between the two panes of glass and needed to be replaced on an upper floor. When I told the person that sat in the office the window was to be removed and replaced, she was terrified that she and her desk would might be sucked out of the building and sent flying to the ground. The day the window was to be removed this person took the day off LOL it only took two hours to do the work. I had even explained over and over that when the window was to be removed the only thing that would happen was that it may get a little warm in her office due to the 6x 9 hole exposed to outside and it may get a little windy. And that we were not 30,000 ft up there was no way she would get sucked out of the building. 

On another occasion I was acting as an observer during a fire drill in the building I had to watch and fill out a sheet on what was done correctly and what was not. I had one guy that came up to me and asked if this floor had a stairwell to exit the floor. (Every floor has two one on the East and one on the West) this is posted near the elevators and by service elevator. Well anyway I am just an observer the floors are graded on how well they do in the drill. Well this one guy came up to me and had this panicked look on his face and asked me  is there a stairwell exit on this floor LMAO well me being a SA I told him no Sir you will need to take the elevator up three floors to get to the stairwell exit to take you down stairs. LMAO he got on the elevator. (And his floor failed the drill)


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## bluemtn (Jun 6, 2006)

That's just too funny, 2004!  

While driving around the parking lot of Wal- Mart the other day (was looking for a parking space), I had made my turn and there was 1 car in the area I wanted to turn and another stopped on the opposite side I was on.  The 1st car couldn't make their turn until someone moved, and neither could I.  What does the 1st car do?  Makes their turn anyways- which was to the curb to pick up their package- which was conveniently placed right in front of my car!!!  I thought the idiot was going to hit me!  That made it so I couldn't move until the idiot was done with her stuff!  All she could do to my staring was do the :idunno:  bit!  She was so stupid that she couldn't figure out that all she had to do in the first place (before pulling out) was back up a few feet.  Wow!  talk about brain surgery!  Sorry, I had to rant-  she really ticked me off...


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## Henderson (Jun 6, 2006)

That must have been the day that Mensa was having their local chapter meeting sponsored by Wal*Mart...


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## desousae (Jun 6, 2006)

I have one for you.

I am the network manager for a large mortgage company.  Yesterday, we had problems with servers and lost our connection to the internet.  This happened on and off for about an hour or so.  This originator emailed the IT deparment and asked if the internet is down.  So we figured it would be a good idea to send an email to the company, this way people would know they would not be able to pull credit or lock loans.  about ten minutes later she emailed the whole company, telling us that credit was down as well!!!!!

As time went on, we had to do an emergency fix and got the net back up.  So an email went out stating that the internet is now back up.  Which of course lead to the originator saying "well thats just great, but I still need to pull credit"!


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## hemi (Jun 6, 2006)

desousae said:
			
		

> "well thats just great, but I still need to pull credit"!





I love it hahahah 

Remember these are the people on the road next to you doing 70mph


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## hong kong fooey (Jun 6, 2006)

I had a friend who was riding his bike in the winter time he came to a puddle and went as fast as he could and then slammed on his brakes while he was on the ice yea he slid into a parked car and had to go to the hospital


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## bluemtn (Jun 6, 2006)

Henderson said:
			
		

> That must have been the day that Mensa was having their local chapter meeting sponsored by Wal*Mart...


 
That's too funny, I can't even reply to that!  I think that person missed being a Mensa by a few points, you think?


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## silatman (Jun 7, 2006)

One of my mates is a brick layer and his labourer would fit right into this thread. After my mate had just finished screaming at him and telling him he is so close to being fired he went to the other side of the site to clean up and try to get back on the good side of the boss. About half an hour later he came running over to my mate and told him that a bloke had just rolled up looking for a job as a labourer and he in an effort to help had taken down all his details. My mate could'nt believe that he could be so stupid as to give him his own replacement.


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## Nevada_MO_Guy (Jun 7, 2006)

tkdgirl said:
			
		

> Wal- Mart


Another Wal-Mart one.

Now that I think back on it this has happened to me before, but I never realized it.

This particular day I had a sore throat and was horse....so my talking was at a minimum.

I brought a few things up to the register and she started checking me out. The total came to a little under $20 dollars, so I gave a 20.

And she said "out of $20".......she waited until I horsely said "yes".


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## bluemtn (Jun 7, 2006)

Nevada_MO_Guy said:
			
		

> And she said "out of $20".......she waited until I horsely said "yes".


 
Sadly, I've asked that... Of course, I was sick and shouldn't have been working, but I've done that.


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## matt.m (Jun 7, 2006)

OUMoose said:
			
		

> You have to wonder if some people's existence is only to serve as a warning to others.


 
Dude that is funny.  Anyway here is the deal.  I was at a party once.  These idiots were playing sword fight, in between rounds of three man.  Well, they got carried away using their twirling baton swords.  One guy fell down and sat on his baton.

Dude was taking to the hospital.  No, do not pass go or collecting 200 bucks for him.:shrug:


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## monkey (Jun 8, 2006)

This is an actual event that happend to my teacher Bruce Lee.While in the Air pot he notice a man crying.Bruce was eagor to help other Chinese & introduced himself.(My name is Bruce Lee what is wrong,What is your name.)The man looked up & said( While go threw custom -man in front of me name John Smith-When come my  turn,I could only tell the trueth.  I say Sam Ting.   They think it mean (Same Thing & call me on pass port John Smith.)


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

Monkey, I have a challenge for you. I'm willing to bet you can't go an entire day without mentioning any of the following phrases: "Bruce Lee" "Presas" "Parker" "Guardian" "my teacher" "my video"

What do you think?


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## Swordlady (Jun 8, 2006)

Kreth said:
			
		

> Monkey, I have a challenge for you. I'm willing to bet you can't go an entire day without mentioning any of the following phrases: "Bruce Lee" "Presas" "Parker" "Guardian" "my teacher" "my video"
> 
> What do you think?



:lfao:


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## monkey (Jun 8, 2006)

How would you know or under stand the point of referance of whom i was tought & refering to Of my many teachers & as well (Who may have said the quote).I use them as Referances but,those with minds not able to see past themselvs will see it as Name dropping.How dose one apply for a job with you or send referances (without tell the source or origans of said info).Here in lays the ultimate challange to evolve & see the references & not the name dropping.What good are  Ranks without Who certified you.The historical value of who was at the time teaching --seems to be a prevalent thing but -if any one tells of it(they are accused of name dropping & utiliesing the refenaces asked of them.Do you do the arts?Then take the event-mark a note (That it was told by that person) who was (historicaly world renown)Now you have an actual joke -Yet true encounter from that person & you never had till now.I offerd a gift & you turn it to name dropping.I asked to see it not as such (when I wrote i).But,it has  not been  perceive so.Imagine theres now pain(John W.Lennon) My friend 1970-80.


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

The point is that, AFAIK, you have yet to make a post on this site that wasn't either bragging about who you've trained under, or pimping your videos. And BTW, as for your "true story," I heard it this way:


> Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry
> Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turned a corner and saw a building with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.""Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown?"   So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese  laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T-Shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the  logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."There was also a fair selection of Chinatown souvenirs, indicating that the name alone had brought many tourists into the shop. The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office.Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.The tourist asked, "Can you tell me how this place got a name like"Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?"The old man answered, "Ahh... Everybody asks me that.  It's the name of the owner."Looking around, the tourist asked, "Is he here now?""He is right here," replied the old man. "He is me.""Really?  How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?""Is simple," said the old man. "Many, many years ago when I came to this country, I was standing in line at the documentation center.  The man in front of me was a Jewish gentleman from Poland. "The lady at the counter looked at him and said, 'What is your name?' "  He said, 'Moishe Plotnik.'"Then she looked at me and said, 'What is your name?'" I said, 'Sam Ting.'"


And I never even met Bruce, imagine that.


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## monkey (Jun 8, 2006)

Then you have not read all my psot -You see a few & jugde from that.I feel sorry for your students that cant get an open veiw of what ask.Only a very closed mind that sees so little & Assumtions made from that.(Hence not  true philosophical or un-bias  answers).Sad day for those who may ask & get a one sided coin from you,No Longer a chance to get an even bet.Just the 1 side.HUUUUUUM! odd & a pitty.The arts are to be un biast & unite,You seem to want to devide,Go threw all my posts & see you are wrong.I am Shaolin & hieghst Senior Master of such.Do you have this kind of Reverance?It must be peaclu-unbiast-honable-trusting & non jugdementle.


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

monkey said:
			
		

> Then you have not read all my psot


You're correct, as I have no idea what a psot is.


> You see a few & jugde from that


I'm not sure if I have jugded before. I can't find it in my dictionary.


> I feel sorry for your students that cant get an open veiw of what ask.Only a very closed mind that sees so little & Assumtions made from that.


I feel sorry for your students if you speak like you type. Using sentence fragments. Among other things.
I've never made an assumtion. Is it some type of makeshift shelter?


> (Hence not true philosophical or un-bias answers).


My jaw almost hit my desk when I saw that you had spelled philosophical correctly.


> Sad day for those who may ask & get a one sided coin from you,


I'm reasonably certain that it is physically impossible to create an object with only one side. If you have in fact created a Moebius coin, then my hat's off to you.


> Go threw all my posts & see you are wrong


I asked the site owner if I could throw all of your posts and he said no. But thanks for thinking of me.


> I am Shaolin & hieghst Senior Master of such.


Was this before or after you were appointed Guardian of Modern Arnis and Knight of the Realm?


> Do you have this kind of Reverance?


I must admit, I have no reverance, or even reverence. Then again, I don't make LOOK AT ME posts here every 5 minutes. Do you think if I did, I could be revered like you?


> It must be peaclu-unbiast-honable-trusting & non jugdementle.


WTF does that even mean?


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## Flying Crane (Jun 8, 2006)

Once a kid was trying to impress me with his martial arts experience.  He told me that a friend of his did the "death touch" on him.  I suggested that his friend must not be very good at it.


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> Once a kid was trying to impress me with his martial arts experience. He told me that a friend of his did the "death touch" on him. I suggested that his friend must not be very good at it.


He got better... :uhyeah:


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## hemi (Jun 8, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> Once a kid was trying to impress me with his martial arts experience. He told me that a friend of his did the "death touch" on him. I suggested that his friend must not be very good at it.


 

Thats funny there I dont care who you are


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## monkey (Jun 8, 2006)

Im not the only person who( misspells )from time to time but if you cant figure out the error  of a simple word of (post)  that I miss typed! Then truely you have no skill other then hurtintg people that have disablities.I never said Im a master of a realm (that is defermation of my name-ranks & cross trinaing I have done.)Yet you did not check out any other posts & still stuck in your insolating talk.Many people cross train & get ranks in multi arts but, to you thats unconcievalbe.Here are afew for Referance Not as name dropping But Referance only Remy Presas-Dan Inosanto-Paul Vunac-Joe Lewis-Chuck Noris-Ernesto Presas all of whom trained in Multi arts,& received some kind of recegnition for it.Ill ask with honor & reverance as I do have shaolin trainnig (Please stop Blasting me &  use the info provided for what it is)-also check the other post (By Me )so you see you did nothing more then take cheep shots at some one you never met-know or trained with or know nothing of  that person,(Some of my Ranks-signed photos ect are on display )so go to search type in (Monkey & see some of my ranks-not all,  My skills ect).Then maybe we can talk Martial Arts , Insted of how you try to put people down.This is supose to be a forum of the arts Not how well do I cut some one in defermation ways.Use my info & unite the arts.Dont take cheep shots of people you know not of.I was apointed Guardian & Master of the arts.I do the arts & help others.Read my other posts & please -please stop blasting.Learn from this.Espesualy those taht may have handi caps.


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

I ddint meen to upsetyou-back when I was tarining with Musashi, just before he apponited me Lord and Master of All He Surveys over all Jpaanese Arts, (it was all about the traning, so I try to show that to eveyrnoe. BTW, I have videso for sale, feel free to sned me your addres and I will male them to yuo. Laren from this. Walker-Texas Ranger, Green Hronet, Kung Fu (David Cradine), all good shows to laern from,show respect. Go to search typein Kreth, see my ranks(skills, vidoes for sale, etc). Reverance.


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## Edmund BlackAdder (Jun 8, 2006)

I watched the videos Chiliman. The first one is a very impressive array of attendence certificates, collected patches, and superstar autographs.  Did I ever tell you about how I was once awarded a captains rank in the Klingon Imperial Fleet? See, we were engaged in heavy combat with this landing party of marines from the Klingon Assault Group, and I managed a disarm and takedown on the smelliest one.  Turns out, he was the captain and since I defeated him in mortal combat (or was it at mortal combat? the drinking has dulled my mind) I was entitled to take his place.  Now, this is all legit as the great Kor himself was there and watched the battle, even commented on it.  Now, I study hard, hoping to one day defeat the owner of this site in epic battle to obtain rank in his ancient art of Kungate, as well as best him for his rank of Thought Admiral. Now, the only question I have is, do you or I have more meaningless paperwork.  I'll refrain from commenting on the rest because DragonBallZ is on and I need to learn more leet moves, y'know, so I can be like the monkeyman and the frogman, y'know? Man I got the munchies...anyone got a scoobysnack?

Stupid things people do? Hmm.
Try to make an ape evolve.

Stupidest thing I've ever done?
drove the car into (as in , crashed) the garage door, thinking I was hitting the brakes, but instead was hitting the gas. The owner of both the car and garage were not impressed with my mad driving skillz.


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## Kreth (Jun 8, 2006)

Edmund BlackAdder said:
			
		

> Stupidest thing I've ever done?
> drove the car into (as in , crashed) the garage door, thinking I was hitting the brakes, but instead was hitting the gas. The owner of both the car and garage were not impressed with my mad driving skillz.


This seems to be an ongoing thing with me when I drive standard for a while, then drive an automatic. I end up stepping on the brake with both feet from the habit of applying clutch and brake together. Must be interesting for the person behind me... :uhyeah:


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## Bob Hubbard (Jun 8, 2006)

I can't get into my stupidest....legal reasons.....plus I had the pictures destroyed. 



> Now, I study hard, hoping to one day defeat the owner of this site in epic battle to obtain rank in his ancient art of Kungate, as well as best him for his rank of Thought Admiral.


If you can snatch the pebbles from the rubble, you too may be a Flintstone.


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## DavidCC (Jun 8, 2006)

Flying Crane said:
			
		

> Once a kid was trying to impress me with his martial arts experience. He told me that a friend of his did the "death touch" on him. I suggested that his friend must not be very good at it.


 
ROFLMAO!


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## Jade Tigress (Jun 8, 2006)

=============
Mod. Note. 
Please, keep the conversation polite and respectful.

-Pamela Piszczek
-MT Moderator-


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## Nevada_MO_Guy (Jun 8, 2006)

Edmund BlackAdder said:
			
		

> Did I ever tell you about how I was once awarded a captains rank in the Klingon Imperial Fleet?


Qapla'


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## Carol (Jun 9, 2006)

Sometime back I had a chance to do some consulting work for a car dealership.  Their was a big Red Sox game on, and a bunch of the dealership folks were going to a nearby pub to watch the game.  They offered me a chance to join them.  I did and, even though I idn't konw them very well, we all had a very good time. 

One of the service advisors gave me a hard time because I hardly ever drink.  It was all in good fun and I laughed right along with them.  The same advisor said "Hey, Carol, you can get along with anyone, I think"  

It was a compliment and I should have just left it alone.   But I didn't.  I smiled and said "Except child molesters, maybe.  I don't like them."  There were a bunch of murmers in agreement.

I later found out that one of the people within earshot was, technically, a child molester.  Very very very sad story; a guy with a two abusive parents and he abused his younger teenage sister just like his parents abused him.  Ugh.  And, he spent his young adult life getting in trouble in other ways...but...he had since gotten a lot of help and cleaned up his act.

I felt so horrible, it was a couple of days till I could look the guy in the eye again


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