# You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...



## Swordlady (Jan 11, 2006)

*You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...*

* you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."

* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.

* you go to the shoe store to try on shoes.

* Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.

* You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and whether it protects the toes well

* and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)

* Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder: "Is that structural or drywall?" THEN you know you've gone overboard.

* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and damage it.

* "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

* "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."

*  when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly

* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;

* don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches

* open and close doors with spinning kicks

* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place

* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks

* haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots

* leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu", "Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home

* deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings

* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it

* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep

* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes

* have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight by saying something *so* cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes

* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when, directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

* Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room

* I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with fair regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying "hai!" instead of "yes!".

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your art

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

* Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.


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## arnisador (Jan 11, 2006)

LOL! I'm guilty of far too many of those.


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## Navarre (Jan 11, 2006)

LMAO Me too!

I've also had the city police drive by more than once because I couldn't go to Pizza Hut with my martial arts buddies without having an impromtu sparring match in the parking lot.


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## terryl965 (Jan 11, 2006)

My son Zachary practices his movement throughout the Grocey store
In line you are doiing calf. raises
when you practice low kick while you are waiting to bowl
Terry


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## Ceicei (Jan 11, 2006)

When you make a password, the new word is related in some way to martial arts.


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## Swordlady (Jan 11, 2006)

I often catch myself _bowing_ to people (as I shake their hand) I meet for the first time.  And I play with different tools as if they are weapons.  I've gotten nervous looks from people as I flip something around my hand, as if I was wielding a knife or something...  :asian:


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## Kacey (Jan 11, 2006)

Too true... I've finally broken myself of bowing when I meet people, but when I was giving out awards at the school I work at, I kept catching myself trying to bow to the kids who were getting awards, and I didn't really notice it until someone else pointed out why one of the kids looked at me so strangely - I mean, even more strangely than the average middle school kid.

When I first started, I worked in a room with the same basic shape as the dojang, and I kept bowing myself into work - although in a university, nearly anything goes, and I'm not too sure anyone noticed!:idunno:

Also, I tend to kick the fridge shut if it doesn't close right, along with the cabinets... practice blocks on the walls at work (you hit a brick wall or a locker ONCE and your focus gets really good - the first one really hurts, and the second one makes quite a noise).:uhyeah:


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## Henderson (Jan 11, 2006)

Swordlady said:
			
		

> *You Know You've Been In the Martial Arts Too Long When...*
> 
> * "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."


 
AND tie the robes belt like an obi.  GUILTY!


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## Henderson (Jan 11, 2006)

...or when you notice the martial application to everyday movements.

Hanging up the telephone?  Why, it's just a simple bottomfist strike.  

Frank


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## bluemtn (Jan 13, 2006)

I'm guilty of a number of those.  I've bowed my head to other people actually on a movie screen, because they were bowing.  I kept nodding my head to people that would go through my line at a place I worked at.  I didn't realise I was doing it, until someone gave me a very strange look.  My only explanation of that is I was just starting out in MA, but I no longer do that.  I'm sure I get a few other strange looks when I just get out of class, and am at some place like wal- mart, and I start practicing a move.  I've mentioned having baton lessons when I was little-  I still do "twirls" with anything that's straight and stick like (I also had a few flag twirling experiences in middle school).


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## Dan G (Jan 13, 2006)

Swordlady said:
			
		

> * try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it


Happened a few years back... Was working all day and all night and on into the next morning... 36 hours no sleep, couldn't see straight ahead as carrying huge stack of files to basement... finger strike to memorised button location, didn't notice very very short lady standing in front of button panel, head at button height... very very embarassing!:uhohh:  :uhohh:


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## hong kong fooey (Jan 14, 2006)

in the movie the last samuari I kept bowing my head to the people on the movie " very funny " TKDGIRL was there she knows all about it


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## tshadowchaser (Jan 14, 2006)

When everyone you trained with has retired or is no longer alive
when you talk about the arts you say " I remember when" 
You remember when there whee only a few GM's and verry few masters in your section of the world


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## ed-swckf (Jan 14, 2006)

Yeah guilty of a fair few of those, glad i'm not alone in that!


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## beau_safken (Jan 19, 2006)

I once did try on some pants and attempted a sidekick to have the crotch rip wide open.  My girlfriend at the time was just beside herself and petrified.  I took the pants to the front and told them these broke while i tried them on, it was sooooo funny.   The lady just looked at them and then me and the pants again.  When she asked what happened, I said I tried to move how I normally do and they tore.  My lady forbid me from doing that again, but ya that hasn't happened.  LOL damn that was funny.


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## bluemtn (Feb 5, 2006)

I didn't do this, but I came close the other night after going out to eat after class:

Just as you reach the door, you bow and say "goodnight everyone".  I was actually turned around and facing the counter, before I stopped myself.  Imagine what their reactions would've been if I did that!:uhohh:


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## MartialIntent (Feb 6, 2006)

...I'm continually caught refining technique in the mensroom mirrors at work [thinking I was the only one in there]


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## Carol (Feb 9, 2006)

Heel palm strikes on the exit door at work......only to have the door crash in to it's adjoining wall...and having a few eyes peering out window in response to the noise...

Nothing to see here folks, move along...


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## Ceicei (Feb 9, 2006)

Going to the local movie rental place and checking out the aisle to see whether any more martial movies have been added.


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## BrandiJo (Feb 10, 2006)

when your regular dr quits suspecting that all your bruses are a sign of abuse


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## rutherford (Feb 10, 2006)

I catch myself several times a day trying to say "Hai" to people instead of "Yes, I understand."


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## IcemanSK (Feb 10, 2006)

Stop following me around:uhyeah:   GUILTY


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## Hwoarang_tkd26 (Feb 23, 2006)

I have one to add.
You know that you've been in the Martial arts for too long, when you go to put on your neck tie, you start to tie it like you tie your belt, eccept for its on your neck.


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## SFC JeffJ (Mar 17, 2006)

I"m always saying "usa", showing my kyokishinkai past.  And just the other day, I went to Lowes to pick up a dowel rod.  Of course I just HAD to do some jo work while i was there.


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## Drac (Mar 18, 2006)

lady_kaur said:
			
		

> Heel palm strikes on the exit door at work......only to have the door crash in to it's adjoining wall...and having a few eyes peering out window in response to the noise...
> 
> Nothing to see here folks, move along...


 
I though I was the only one that did that..I feel better now...


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