# Martial Art Laws



## Sarah (Nov 15, 2004)

*[size=+2]Martial Art Laws:[/size]*



*[size=+2]The Strange and Unusual[/size]*

[size=-2]
[/size]It usually takes a hundred years to make a law, and then,after the law has done its work, it usually takes another hundred years to get rid of it. These laws are still on the books, so beware.

Peshtigo, Wisconsin citizens are not allowed to practice karate on any city sidewalk.

Yateswille, New York it is illegal for anyone to ride an ugly horse when going to a martial arts competition.

Republic, Michigan no women over 200 pounds and attired in shorts may practice self-defense techniques while men are present.

Jefferson, Ohio women may not take karate lessons while in a bathing suit within this community unless she be escorted by at least two police officers or unless she be armed with a club.

amendment to the law The provisions of this statute above shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shell it apply to female horses.

Cotton, Minnesota Pants with hip pockets may not be worn when working out in any of the martial arts ( a hip pocket is considered to be the perfect place to hide a pint of liquor ).

Fashion, Indians women while practicing the martial arts or merely taking lessons may not wear heels measuring longer than one-and-a-half inches.

Corry, Pennsylvania No female wearing a nightgown is allowed to practice martial arts. a women of any age must always get fully dressed before she can legally work out.

Libertyville, Illinois No married woman is allowed to go to a martial arts exhibition on the Sabbath unless she is properly looked after. ( how ) Her mate must follow 20 paces behind and is required to carry a bow over his left shoulder and a suit-able quantity of arrows.

Austin, Oregon Men may not teach karate or any other martial art while on a boat on the Sabbath.

Wedgworth, Alabama No single, widowed or divorced woman may participate in any of the martial arts on Sunday Also any unattached female who takes part in such outlandish activities can be arrested and given a jail term.

Wheeler, Mississippi Citizens are allowed to practice martial arts but may not strike a friend in jest--unless you first tell him you are just kidding around.

Pattonsburg, Missouri Citizens may not make silly and/or insulting faces at a men while he is practicing martial arts.

Halstead, Kansas Men may not take karate lessons without first having written permission from his spouse unless he's been married for more than 12 months.

Hayden, Colorado No one is allowed to duel in the town square using martial arts techniques in lieu of standard, acceptable weapons.

Bernice, Oklahoma Martial arts students are not allowed to chase skunks who are found to be freely roaming the community.

Hickory, Maryland Citizens are not allowed to tickle a female martial arts buff under her chin with a feather in order to get her attention. To do so can bring a fine of $2.50 and one day in the local jail.

Acme, Louisiana Citizens ( children or adult ), may not laugh out loud at a martial arts student going through their moves.

Shellman, Georgia Martial artist may not stand within five feet of a bar when taking a drink in any public establishment serving alcoholic beverages even if he wants only a glass of water.

Ledyard, Connecticut No one may practice martial arts while intoxicated such individual must be given a large dose of castor oil Refusal to take the castor oil will result in a fine.

Foxboro, Massachusetts No martial artist can be seen going through his moves while his shoelaces are untied.

Suffolk, Virginia Karate enthusiasts may not read the Sunday paper while training on their front porch while waiting for church to let out.

Marion, South Carolina Citizens are prohibited from whistling while practicing any of the martial arts on the Sabbath.

Boone, North Carolina Martial artists may not practice on Sunday during the half-hour period before a church service.

Tamarack, Idaho Canned goods of any kind may be opening by chopping them with the bare hand.

Waverly, Kentucky Martial art lessons may not be conducted in any bakery facility within the city limits.

Clarendon, Texas Martial artists may not snooze in a barbershop or catnap in a restaurant within city boundaries.

Sutherland, Iowa Playfully using a martial arts strike in a effort to remove a hat from the head of another is strictly prohibited.

Rudd, Arkansas A martial arts instructor must never be seen carrying an open umbrella.

Greenville, Delaware No martial artists may place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason.

Bluff, Utah Martial arts practitioners are banned from chewing tobacco while practicing.

Chumuckia, Florida Martial arts practitioners can chew tobacco, but they are not allowed to dip snuff while working out or while putting on an exhibition.

Bourdoville, Vermont Martial artists are prohibited from walking a tightrope while going through their moves .Martial Art Laws

Casper, Wyoming Goatees are considered illegal on any martial arts expert unless a special permit is first purchased.

Keene, New Hampshire Martial artists may not try catching fireflies while practicing karate under streetlights after dark.

The law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public.The law growth of sin, and doth punish it.

The officials who wrote and passed some of this odd martial arts legislation seem to have acted for an even greater purpose A GOOD LAUGH.


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## Chronuss (Nov 15, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> Casper, Wyoming Goatees are considered illegal on any martial arts expert unless a special permit is first purchased.


guess I won't be visiting that state anytime soon.


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## MA-Caver (Nov 15, 2004)

> Yateswille, New York it is illegal for anyone to ride an ugly horse when going to a martial arts competition.


Define... Ugly



> Cotton, Minnesota Pants with hip pockets may not be worn when working out in any of the martial arts ( a hip pocket is considered to be the perfect place to hide a pint of liquor ).


Dang, they're on to me. What's a Minnesota Pant anyway?


> Bernice, Oklahoma Martial arts students are not allowed to chase skunks who are found to be freely roaming the community.


But officer they tried to back kick me! 


> Tamarack, Idaho Canned goods of any kind may be opening by chopping them with the bare hand.


Ok, Show of hands... who's guilty of this?? Me! 


> Waverly, Kentucky Martial art lessons may not be conducted in any bakery facility within the city limits.


Why not? It'd be the best thing since ... sliced bread!


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## bignick (Nov 15, 2004)

guilty of the goatee

also guilty of removing the hat of another...my little brother had a baseball cap on and i front kicked it off his head...


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## Feisty Mouse (Nov 15, 2004)

MACaver said:
			
		

> Define... Ugly


Oh, you know - any horse that you would find unattractive.  lol!


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## Sarah (Nov 15, 2004)

_Greenville, Delaware No martial artists may place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason._ 

There goes my Grappling fun!!


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## jfarnsworth (Nov 15, 2004)

there's always an amendment!!!

No one knows what you do in the privacy of your own home. :ultracool


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## TigerWoman (Nov 15, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> Peshtigo, Wisconsin citizens are not allowed to practice karate on any city sidewalk.



Those are cheeseheads remember, they would melt anyway.



> Yateswille, New York it is illegal for anyone to ride an ugly horse when going to a martial arts competition.



Especially if it is a dirty [ugly! all horses are beautiful!] horse with a nice white uniform.



> Republic, Michigan no women over 200 pounds and attired in shorts may practice self-defense techniques while men are present.



That may be a good law unless she is also 6'4" then wise to let her be.



> Cotton, Minnesota Pants with hip pockets may not be worn when working out in any of the martial arts ( a hip pocket is considered to be the perfect place to hide a pint of liquor ).



There is a Cotton, MN.  Apparently pockets were IN at some point in time or maybe they were normal clothes. But pockets are such a good place to hide kleenex or ninja stars! But I guess this law stopped that for good. We will just have to carry purses when we work out! 



> Fashion, Indiana women while practicing the martial arts or merely taking lessons may not wear heels measuring longer than one-and-a-half inches.



There go the 4" stilettos.  Great for spinning on though. 



> Corry, Pennsylvania No female wearing a nightgown is allowed to practice martial arts. a women of any age must always get fully dressed before she can legally work out.



SO, that is why we women have to wear these one size fits all pajamas..



> Libertyville, Illinois No married woman is allowed to go to a martial arts exhibition on the Sabbath unless she is properly looked after. ( how ) Her mate must follow 20 paces behind and is required to carry a bow over his left shoulder and a suit-able quantity of arrows.



But the unmarried women can go without fear of getting accidentally shot by her significant other.



> Austin, Oregon Men may not teach karate or any other martial art while on a boat on the Sabbath.



But that is the day we do our balance practice, crane stance!



> Wedgworth, Alabama No single, widowed or divorced woman may participate in any of the martial arts on Sunday Also any unattached female who takes part in such outlandish activities can be arrested and given a jail term.



Oh, good, my stretching class on Sunday is okay for Sunday. We're all married, mostly...  Never mind, the guys are all watching football anyway..y'all come!



> Wheeler, Mississippi Citizens are allowed to practice martial arts but may not strike a friend in jest--unless you first tell him you are just kidding around.



"Hey friend, I'm just kidding around ... then proceeds to flatten him...Oh, but now we're not friends anymore..."



> Halstead, Kansas Men may not take karate lessons without first having written permission from his spouse unless he's been married for more than 12 months.



Hubby must spend too muchhh time away during the honeymoon..



> Shellman, Georgia Martial artist may not stand within five feet of a bar when taking a drink in any public establishment serving alcoholic beverages even if he wants only a glass of water.



We must be dangerous with a glass in hand.



> Foxboro, Massachusetts No martial artist can be seen going through his moves while his shoelaces are untied.



So run right over to that pile of shoes taken off and tie them all together!



> Suffolk, Virginia Karate enthusiasts may not read the Sunday paper while training on their front porch while waiting for church to let out.



Forget reading that paper, nothing in it about martial arts anyway. Roll the paper up and spin heel it.  



> Marion, South Carolina Citizens are prohibited from whistling while practicing any of the martial arts on the Sabbath.



And no bands or songs at church either.  Birds stop whistling!



> Waverly, Kentucky Martial art lessons may not be conducted in any bakery facility within the city limits.



Gosh, day old bread slices tossed up are just as hard as boards, but they break so much nicer and then you have bread crumbs for stuffing!



> Clarendon, Texas Martial artists may not snooze in a barbershop or catnap in a restaurant within city boundaries.



All you Texans, y'all better rest up and be on your guard in public or just wear a ten gallon hat, that'll cover ya!



> Rudd, Arkansas A martial arts instructor must never be seen carrying an open umbrella.



After all, a closed umbrella would be a weapon, but they don't know that. hehe



> Keene, New Hampshire Martial artists may not try catching fireflies while practicing karate under streetlights after dark.



Hey I did this is Nebraska but let them go.. check state. Hey Nebraska has no martial laws apparently. 

Well, not too bad, we just have to consult this list before we travel... TW


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## bignick (Nov 15, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> _Greenville, Delaware No martial artists may place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason._
> 
> There goes my Grappling fun!!


it says a good and lawful reason...i think if you were trying to hurt me just as much everything would be alright


fair's fair


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## Ceicei (Nov 15, 2004)

bignick said:
			
		

> it says a good and lawful reason...i think if you were trying to hurt me just as much everything would be alright
> 
> 
> fair's fair


 Only if you switch gender....

 - Ceicei


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## KenpoTex (Nov 16, 2004)

> Clarendon, Texas Martial artists may not snooze in a barbershop or catnap in a restaurant within city boundaries.


 I drive through Clarendon whenever I visit my parents.  I find it hard to believe that there is even a MA school in the town.


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## OUMoose (Nov 16, 2004)

Sarah said:
			
		

> Shellman, Georgia - Martial artist may not stand within five feet of a bar when taking a drink in any public establishment serving alcoholic beverages even if he wants only a glass of water.



Never will I visit this town...


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