# US Laws concerning Martial Arts



## Bob Hubbard

*[SIZE=+2]Martial Art Laws:[/SIZE]* *[SIZE=+2]The Strange and Unusual[/SIZE]*  [SIZE=-2]
[/SIZE]It usually takes a hundred years to make a law, and then,after the law has done its work, it usually takes another hundred years to get rid of it. These laws are still on the books, so beware.

Peshtigo, Wisconsin citizens are not allowed to practice karate on any city sidewalk.
Yateswille, New York it is illegal for anyone to ride an ugly horse when going to a martial arts competition.
Republic, Michigan no women over 200 pounds and attired in shorts may practice self-defense techniques while men are present.
Jefferson, Ohio women may not take karate lessons while in a bathing suit within this community unless she be escorted by at least two police officers or unless she be armed with a club.
amendment to the law The provisions of this statute above shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shell it apply to female horses.
Cotton, Minnesota Pants with hip pockets may not be worn when working out in any of the martial arts ( a hip pocket is considered to be the perfect place to hide a pint of liquor ).
Fashion, Indians women while practicing the martial arts or merely taking lessons may not wear heels measuring longer than one-and-a-half inches.
Corry, Pennsylvania No female wearing a nightgown is allowed to practice martial arts. a women of any age must always get fully dressed before she can legally work out.
Libertyville, Illinois No married woman is allowed to go to a martial arts exhibition on the Sabbath unless she is properly looked after. ( how ) Her mate must follow 20 paces behind and is required to carry a bow over his left shoulder and a suit-able quantity of arrows.
Austin, Oregon Men may not teach karate or any other martial art while on a boat on the Sabbath.
Wedgworth, Alabama No single, widowed or divorced woman may participate in any of the martial arts on Sunday Also any unattached female who takes part in such outlandish activities can be arrested and given a jail term.
Wheeler, Mississippi Citizens are allowed to practice martial arts but may not strike a friend in jest--unless you first tell him you are just kidding around.
Pattonsburg, Missouri Citizens may not make silly and/or insulting faces at a men while he is practicing martial arts.
Halstead, Kansas Men may not take karate lessons without first having written permission from his spouse unless he's been married for more than 12 months.
Hayden, Colorado No one is allowed to duel in the town square using martial arts techniques in lieu of standard, acceptable weapons.
Bernice, Oklahoma Martial arts students are not allowed to chase skunks who are found to be freely roaming the community.
Hickory, Maryland Citizens are not allowed to tickle a female martial arts buff under her chin with a feather in order to get her attention. To do so can bring a fine of $2.50 and one day in the local jail.
Acme, Louisiana Citizens ( children or adult ), may not laugh out loud at a martial arts student going through their moves.
Shellman, Georgia Martial artist may not stand within five feet of a bar when taking a drink in any public establishment serving alcoholic beverages even if he wants only a glass of water.
Ledyard, Connecticut No one may practice martial arts while intoxicated such individual must be given a large dose of castor oil Refusal to take the castor oil will result in a fine.
Foxboro, Massachusetts No martial artist can be seen going through his moves while his shoelaces are untied.
Suffolk, Virginia Karate enthusiasts may not read the Sunday paper while training on their front porch while waiting for church to let out.
Marion, South Carolina Citizens are prohibited from whistling while practicing any of the martial arts on the Sabbath.
Boone, North Carolina Martial artists may not practice on Sunday during the half-hour period before a church service.
Tamarack, Idaho Canned goods of any kind may be opening by chopping them with the bare hand.
Waverly, Kentucky Martial art lessons may not be conducted in any bakery facility within the city limits.
Clarendon, Texas Martial artists may not snooze in a barbershop or catnap in a restaurant within city boundaries.
Sutherland, Iowa Playfully using a martial arts strike in a effort to remove a hat from the head of another is strictly prohibited.
Rudd, Arkansas A martial arts instructor must never be seen carrying an open umbrella.
Greenville, Delaware No martial artists may place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason.
Bluff, Utah Martial arts practitioners are banned from chewing tobacco while practicing.
Chumuckia, Florida Martial arts practitioners can chew tobacco, but they are not allowed to dip snuff while working out or while putting on an exhibition.
Bourdoville, Vermont Martial artists are prohibited from walking a tightrope while going through their moves .Martial Art Laws
Casper, Wyoming Goatees are considered illegal on any martial arts expert unless a special permit is first purchased.
Keene, New Hampshire Martial artists may not try catching fireflies while practicing karate under streetlights after dark.
                                                                          [SIZE=+1]Original listing at http://www.loyola.edu/maru/
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## Kacey

There're a few of these I have comments on... 



Bob Hubbard said:


> Peshtigo, Wisconsin citizens are not allowed to practice karate on any city sidewalk.



What about private sidewalks?



Bob Hubbard said:


> Yateswille, New York it is illegal for anyone to ride an ugly horse when going to a martial arts competition.



But pretty horses are okay?  How rude!



Bob Hubbard said:


> Republic, Michigan no women over 200 pounds and attired in shorts may practice self-defense techniques while men are present.



But it's okay for skinny women?



Bob Hubbard said:


> Jefferson, Ohio women may not take karate lessons while in a bathing suit within this community unless she be escorted by at least two police officers or unless she be armed with a club.



Interesting... wonder how that relates to the one in Michigan?



Bob Hubbard said:


> amendment to the law The provisions of this statute above shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shell it apply to female horses.



So again... only skinny women... hmm... poor, defenseless horses...



Bob Hubbard said:


> Corry, Pennsylvania No female wearing a nightgown is allowed to practice martial arts. a women of any age must always get fully dressed before she can legally work out.



Does this include self-defense, or just practice?  :idunno:



Bob Hubbard said:


> Libertyville, Illinois No married woman is allowed to go to a martial arts exhibition on the Sabbath unless she is properly looked after. ( how ) Her mate must follow 20 paces behind and is required to carry a bow over his left shoulder and a suit-able quantity of arrows.



I wonder what constitutes a "suitable quantity"?  And does it vary based on the appearance of the woman?  



Bob Hubbard said:


> Wedgworth, Alabama No single, widowed or divorced woman may participate in any of the martial arts on Sunday Also any unattached female who takes part in such outlandish activities can be arrested and given a jail term.



But it's okay for married women... hmm...



Bob Hubbard said:


> Pattonsburg, Missouri Citizens may not make silly and/or insulting faces at a men while he is practicing martial arts.



What about before or after?  :lol:



Bob Hubbard said:


> Bernice, Oklahoma Martial arts students are not allowed to chase skunks who are found to be freely roaming the community.



So... other people are allowed to chase skunks?  Sounds like the perfect 'out' to me; who wants to get skunked?  :lol:



Bob Hubbard said:


> Acme, Louisiana Citizens ( children or adult ), may not laugh out loud at a martial arts student going through their moves.



I say again... what about before or after?  :lol:



Bob Hubbard said:


> Ledyard, Connecticut No one may practice martial arts while intoxicated such individual must be given a large dose of castor oil Refusal to take the castor oil will result in a fine.



Eeuuww... nasty.



Bob Hubbard said:


> Foxboro, Massachusetts No martial artist can be seen going through his moves while his shoelaces are untied.



Huh?  Who wears shoes?  And even if you do - don't you check that?  Why (I have to wonder) would you need a _law _for that?  And what if your shoes don't have laces and should?  Then what?  :lol:



Bob Hubbard said:


> Suffolk, Virginia Karate enthusiasts may not read the Sunday paper while training on their front porch while waiting for church to let out.



Wait... who reads the paper _while_ working out?



Bob Hubbard said:


> Tamarack, Idaho Canned goods of any kind may be opening by chopping them with the bare hand.



Uh... sure... you all have fun with that; I'll stick with a can opener - smashed cans could get messy in a hurry.



Bob Hubbard said:


> Waverly, Kentucky Martial art lessons may not be conducted in any bakery facility within the city limits.



Aw... now what will I do if I'm attacked by a bag of flour?



Bob Hubbard said:


> Clarendon, Texas Martial artists may not snooze in a barbershop or catnap in a restaurant within city boundaries.



??



Bob Hubbard said:


> Sutherland, Iowa Playfully using a martial arts strike in a effort to remove a hat from the head of another is strictly prohibited.



What about other items of clothing?  My sahbum once kicked an opponent's glasses off... 



Bob Hubbard said:


> Rudd, Arkansas A martial arts instructor must never be seen carrying an open umbrella.



What about a closed umbrella?  And what if rains?!?!?!?!



Bob Hubbard said:


> Greenville, Delaware No martial artists may place his arm around a woman without a good and lawful reason.



Wouldn't that depend on the woman's reaction?



Bob Hubbard said:


> Bluff, Utah Martial arts practitioners are banned from chewing tobacco while practicing.



Hmm... don't really have a problem with this one.



Bob Hubbard said:


> Chumuckia, Florida Martial arts practitioners can chew tobacco, but they are not allowed to dip snuff while working out or while putting on an exhibition.
> 
> Or this one either.  I used to date a guy who chewed tobacco.  Nasty.
> 
> 
> 
> Bob Hubbard said:
> 
> 
> 
> Casper, Wyoming Goatees are considered illegal on any martial arts expert unless a special permit is first purchased.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I _cannot _imagine what the permit would say...
> 
> 
> 
> Bob Hubbard said:
> 
> 
> 
> Keene, New Hampshire Martial artists may not try catching fireflies while practicing karate under streetlights after dark.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> [SIZE=+1]
> 
> Well, all righty then...  what about while practicing under other lights?  Or in the dark?[/SIZE]
Click to expand...


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## Bob Hubbard

roflmao!


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## Shaderon

I agree withthe tight rope thing  but I think requiring instructors to get wet if it rains is a bit unfair.   Unless I can carry a camera and take photos


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## Brian R. VanCise

Interesting laws.


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## stone_dragone

Jefferson, Ohio women may not take karate lessons while in a bathing suit within this community unless she be escorted by at least two police officers or unless she be armed with a club. 
amendment to the law The provisions of this statute above shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds nor shell it apply to female horses.

I have quite a lot of family in and around Jefferson.  While the are a blessed few, there are quite a few citizens whom you don't want to see doing anything in a bathing suit, as they could be confused with female horses.


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## Steel Tiger

It would seem that in most of these places MA practice consists, or should consist, of standing very still and not attracting any attention to yourself (or your horse).


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## Kwiter

Well Hell Bob, thats funny but lets get crazier, still on books in the Dakota's that 5 or more Indians together constitutes a War party and you can shoot em.

Oral and Anal Sex is illegal in alot of places wether consensual or not.

IN NY Automatic Knives are illegal with a laundry list of exceptions!

O:nen ki' wahi' Bye for now


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