# Help with bridge phobia?



## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Confession time.  I have a mild fear of bridges.  It rarely affects me when I'm driving.  The larger the bridge, the lesser the issue.  Major city bridges like the Tobin or the GWB, even the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel -- not a problem.

I got stuck on an older bridge in northern Mass. due to an accident near the northbound exit of the bridge.  I could feel the vibrations from every southbound car moving by.  Yeesh.  Last weekend I (legally) hiked over a railroad trestle...gahhh!! 

The phobia is not that bad.  I don't freeze, or get a full-blown panic attack, and I haven't let the fear stop me from doing what I want to do (including hike).  The discomfort is always transient, fading quickly after I cross the bridge and get myself on more solid ground.  Its just annoying to be north of 40 and seeing that it hasn't really gone away.

Anyone have any tactics for arresting this phobia -- outside of medications, supplements, or other ingestibles?


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## Touch Of Death (Jan 29, 2011)

Like a bridge over troubled water, I'll be there for you. Hey! Where are you going?


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Touch Of Death said:


> Like a bridge over troubled water, I'll be there for you. Hey! Where are you going?



Umm....off a bridge I think    LOL!!


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## Sukerkin (Jan 29, 2011)

I'm the same with heights in general, Carol.  It's not something you can get rid of completely but you can acclimate yourself to it so that it doesn't affect you too badly.  That's why I used to go climbing - even tho' it scared the living heck out of me it made less severe encounters with heights not so bad.


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## mook jong man (Jan 29, 2011)

Don't worry I have a phobia of Bridges too.


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

mook jong man said:


> Don't worry I have a phobia of Bridges too.




All of a sudden, Touch of Death's singing doesn't seem so bad...


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## harlan (Jan 29, 2011)

I used to think I was scared of heights, and it seemed to actually get worse with age. From avoiding cliff edges, to windows in tall buildings, to carousels to actually getting dizzy a few rungs up a ladder. It got to the point of total avoidance, 'cause I just 'knew' that I had a phobia. 

Had a personal breakthrough once I started karate. I realized that I actually experience an overwhelming rapture...to the point of jumping. It was the loss of control that I was avoiding. Developing a fear, of fear; instead of focusing on the object of the fear, I should have been looking directly at the fear.

Just my .02 cents.


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

harlan said:


> I used to think I was scared of heights, and it seemed to actually get worse with age. From avoiding cliff edges, to windows in tall buildings, to carousels to actually getting dizzy a few rungs up a ladder. It got to the point of total avoidance, 'cause I just 'knew' that I had a phobia.
> 
> Had a personal breakthrough once I started karate. I realized that I actually experience an overwhelming rapture...to the point of jumping. It was the loss of control that I was avoiding. Developing a fear, of fear; instead of focusing on the object of the fear, I should have been looking directly at the fear.
> 
> Just my .02 cents.



Loss of control doesn't seem unreasonable.  But then what?


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## harlan (Jan 29, 2011)

Sorry, I don't understand? Depending on the situation, can be a very bad thing. The horizon seems to 'blow out', and I would experience a sensation of 'falling into space'. It resulted in freezing on stage (high school plays), jumping off of cliff in the White Mountains (thank goodness folks were with me to pull me back), falling off of ladders, etc. I'd hate to think what could have happened if it occurred while driving. Point is, it was never really a 'fear of heights'. It was an avoidance of euphoria, understood as a loss of self-control, and crystalized as a 'fear of heights'.


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## stickarts (Jan 29, 2011)

It's tricks of the mind. I put my mind elsewhere. Not always easy. :0)


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

harlan said:


> Sorry, I don't understand? Depending on the situation, can be a very bad thing. The horizon seems to 'blow out', and I would experience of 'falling into space'. It resulted in freezing on stage (high school plays), jumping off of cliff in the White Mountains (thank goodness folks were with me to pull me back), falling off of ladders. I'd had to think what could have happened if it occurred while driving.



My apologies, my brain was going in a different direction.   Let me word that better. It doesn't seem unreasonable that my fear of bridges is actually more of a fear of losing control of the situation...that the bridge I am on will crumble around me or something like that.  

Heights aren't a factor.  I have no issue with scrambling up a mountain.  A log bridge over a gully bothers me just as much as the railroad trestle 100 feet up in the air.

But...now that I have this information what do I do with it? I have yet to be able to rationalize or compartmentalize away.


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## harlan (Jan 29, 2011)

Sounds stupid, but don't look at the bridge. 'Look' straight at the fear.


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

harlan said:


> Sounds stupid, but don't look at the bridge. 'Look' straight at the fear.



Not stupid at all.  Its a bit ethereal for my engineer's brain to grasp, but I'll keep that in mind when I am out hiking today. Perhaps something will make sense. :asian:


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

stickarts said:


> It's tricks of the mind. I put my mind elsewhere. Not always easy. :0)



Excellent point!  I think the bridges that bother me the least are the ones where my mind can be elsewhere -- focused on city traffic, or taking in the scenery.    Where the ones that bother me more are often ones that I cross on foot.

So "look" directly at the fear...by recognizing what it is and focusing more of my mind on the scenery and why I am out in nature in the first place.  A bit of desensitizing, as Mark was suggesting, couldn't hurt either. I can think of a few bridges where I could stand for a bit and take photographs...to force myself in to a position where I am uncomfortable, and yet give myself a reason to be there.

This is starting to make sense.


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## Ken Morgan (Jan 29, 2011)

Hun it sounds like youve already successfully dealt with it.

Bridges dont in anyway seem to be hampering your abilities to drive or go hiking where ever you wish. You recognize its an irrational fear, (Your engineering background should make the construction of any bridge seem logical to you), you take a deep breath, and you get on with it. Doesnt sound a whole lot different from how public speaking affects many people.

Just keep trudging ahead, after a while you wont even blink when walking over a bridge


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## Kacey (Jan 29, 2011)

It sounds to me like you've already compensated - you're afraid of bridges, you know you're afraid of bridges, but you don't let that stop you from doing what you want to do.  You've already used the most common treatment for phobias, which is systematic desensitization to the thing that causes it.  Eventually, the fear fades to anxiety, the anxiety to discomfort, and the discomfort to nothing.  If you can walk over a bridge, knowing that it bothers you, you're well on your way past it.


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## Blade96 (Jan 29, 2011)

I have  a phobia too. spider webs. Its affects me to the point where i dont walk in the woods anymore unless i am holding a big stick.

i hope you'll be ok carol. 

*hugs*


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Ken Morgan said:


> (Your engineering background should make the construction of any bridge seem logical to you)



Not necessarily any bridge...LOL

(yes, I crossed it.  Twice.)





The Caution Bridge by Sikaranista, on Flickr


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Blade96 said:


> I have  a phobia too. spider webs. Its affects me to the point where i dont walk in the woods anymore unless i am holding a big stick.
> 
> i hope you'll be ok carol.
> 
> *hugs*



*hugs back*  I'll be fine hun, thanks.   

Its more annoying than anything else. I'd rather have hiking discomfort come from normal matters like the weather, rather than the irrational matters. :lol:


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## granfire (Jan 29, 2011)

Carol said:


> Not necessarily any bridge...LOL
> 
> (yes, I crossed it.  Twice.)
> 
> ...




Hell, you call it irrational fear?


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## Kacey (Jan 29, 2011)

Carol said:


> Not necessarily any bridge...LOL
> 
> (yes, I crossed it.  Twice.)
> 
> ...



Uh... why?  I mean, that bridge has problems - no phobia involved!  I hope it was worth the hike!


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## Sukerkin (Jan 29, 2011)

Quite so, ladies!  The engineer in me shudders at such Alice in Wonderland repair work!


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## Ken Morgan (Jan 29, 2011)

It looks like its crossing a creek, and not a drop of 1000'. Whatever. I'd cross and risk getting my feet wet, but i wouldn't cross the same bridge and risk falling 1000' and then suddenly stopping.


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Yup, it was crossing a creekbed.  

No, it wasn't worth it.  I crossed the bridge only to find that the snow had disoriented me on the trail, and I had gone in the wrong direction.  So I had to cross back over to get back on track.

Learned a solid orienteering lesson from that experience, believe me.


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## Big Don (Jan 29, 2011)

Having driven over a lot of bridges, while not sharing your fear, much, the San Mateo bridge scares the crap out of me. It feels like it's 2 feet off the water.


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## Carol (Jan 29, 2011)

Big Don said:


> Having driven over a lot of bridges, while not sharing your fear, much, the San Mateo bridge scares the crap out of me. It feels like it's 2 feet off the water.



Driven it.  My old employer had an office in Hayward.   It does have a spooky feel to it, but its a beautiful drive.


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## Blade96 (Jan 29, 2011)

I have no idea how to treat phobias. if i did, i'd cure my own. but idk, maybe start by walking across a favorite bridge you like first, maybe some spot near your favorite little river? idk. but maybe that might help.


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## Big Don (Jan 29, 2011)

Beer cured my fear of heights. True story.
I was 16, my buddy's dad had a crane sitting in the back yard. Paul went to the top of the crane with a 12 pack of beer. I started climbing, using the cables as hand rails. He started shaking first one cable, then the other until I was climbing with no hands. By the time I got to the top, I was pissed, but, wasn't afraid of heights anymore. By the time I got to the bottom, I was pissed, but, using a different definition.


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## shesulsa (Jan 30, 2011)

I think the best way to treat your phobia is to keep on crossing bridges.


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## Carol (Jan 30, 2011)

shesulsa said:


> I think the best way to treat your phobia is to keep on crossing bridges.



I do.  That hasn't done anything to treat it, to be honest.


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## Tez3 (Jan 31, 2011)

Find a good clinical hypnotherapist. It does the job, it works for things like fear of spiders as well as other phobias. Not bad for stopping smoking either as well as helping with confidence problems.


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## Carol (Feb 2, 2011)

Tez3 said:


> Find a good clinical hypnotherapist. It does the job, it works for things like fear of spiders as well as other phobias. Not bad for stopping smoking either as well as helping with confidence problems.



Not a bad idea at all!  I'll look in to that.


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## shesulsa (Feb 2, 2011)

Tez3 said:


> Find a good clinical hypnotherapist. It does the job, it works for things like fear of spiders as well as other phobias. Not bad for stopping smoking either as well as helping with confidence problems.



Beat me to it.

There are also therapists who specialize in overcoming phobias through various modalities.

Good luck, Carol!


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## Tez3 (Feb 2, 2011)

shesulsa said:


> Beat me to it.
> 
> There are also therapists who specialize in overcoming phobias through various modalities.
> 
> Good luck, Carol!


 
True but hypnotherapy suits lazy people like me! I had it for a while after I was ill a couple of years ago, I was taught to do 'it' myself which is wonderful for chilling or de- stressing quietly.


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