# Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs:



## Bob Hubbard (Nov 8, 2007)

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS:

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."!

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,! what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye." (Dead man walkin')


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## stone_dragone (Nov 8, 2007)

I am reminded of some of the things that Yogi Bera said and wonder where the line went from witty and wise to dumb as hell...


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## Steel Tiger (Nov 8, 2007)

Bob Hubbard said:


> And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
> 
> 
> Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,! what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"


 
I think these two players might be ringers.  They seem smarter than they should be.


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## terryl965 (Nov 8, 2007)

The education level of athletes are just to die for.


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## Xue Sheng (Nov 8, 2007)

Bob Hubbard said:


> Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."


 
HA!!! That's just dumb.... everyone knows its Alvin Einstein :uhyeah:


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## theletch1 (Nov 8, 2007)

Xue Sheng said:


> HA!!! That's just dumb.... everyone knows its Alvin Einstein :uhyeah:


Yeah, any chipmunk smart enough to sing like that...:uhyeah:


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## Steel Tiger (Nov 8, 2007)

I've always been a big fan of Norman and Alvin - The Einstein Brothers!!


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## Sukerkin (Nov 8, 2007)

Steel Tiger said:


> I think these two players might be ringers. They seem smarter than they should be.


 
I'm with *ST*, the second fellow in particular I think might actually be on the cusp of wit .


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## MBuzzy (Nov 8, 2007)

You guys know that these people make 10 times as much as any Doctor, physicist, engineer, or rocket scientist??


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## terryl965 (Nov 8, 2007)

MBuzzy said:


> You guys know that these people make 10 times as much as any Doctor, physicist, engineer, or rocket scientist??


 

Yea it pays to be dumb, ask any of them.


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## Xue Sheng (Nov 9, 2007)

MBuzzy said:


> You guys know that these people make 10 times as much as any Doctor, physicist, engineer, or rocket scientist??


 

True, but they do not all make more than actors and some musicians....

wow... that actually depressed me more.....


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