# Things to ponder



## Melissa426 (Jan 4, 2005)

*1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it? 
2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? </FONT>*
*3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? 
4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 
5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot? 
6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? 
7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try? *
*8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures? 
9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear? 
10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" 
11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 
12. Is it true that the only differe nce between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? 
13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? 
14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes? 
15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? 
16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, 
if they're okay, then it's you.*


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## Lisa (Jan 4, 2005)

Those are really good Melissa 

 Number 1 is absolutely true (as I look around a very untidy home  )


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## Aqua4ever (Jan 4, 2005)

That was great! lots of smiles..and some o-so-trues 
Aqua


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## BrandiJo (Jan 4, 2005)

i like the last one hehe


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## OUMoose (Jan 4, 2005)

Melissa426 said:
			
		

> *1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
> 2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? </FONT>*
> *3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
> 4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
> ...



17.  Why don't brown cows give chocolate milk?
18.  When a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
19.  Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?
20.  What do people in the orient call their good dishes?
21.  What would Jeronimo say if he could have jumped out of a plane?
22.  Why didn't they just call 7/11's 18?
23.  How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop??

The world... may never know.


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## mj-hi-yah (Jan 4, 2005)

OUMoose said:
			
		

> 19. Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?


I love to ask my kids that!:boing2: 

Melissa very funny list!


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## Sarah (Jan 4, 2005)

Those were great Melissa, so here are some more:



*How come people recite at a play and play at a recital? *

*Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? *

*Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? *

*Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not a door? *

*Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? *

*What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? *

*If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? *

*What's another word for thesaurus? *

*Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." *

*Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?*

*Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed ? *

*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?*


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## Chronuss (Jan 4, 2005)

What about lambskin condoms...what drunk Irishman was gutting that animal and had that thought creep across his mind...

and milking cows...the Englishman that decided to see if the stuff that came outta there could be drank or not.


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## KenpoTex (Jan 5, 2005)

Very good, those are great



> 4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


 Guilty...


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## OUMoose (Jan 5, 2005)

Chronuss said:
			
		

> What about lambskin condoms...what drunk Irishman was gutting that animal and had that thought creep across his mind...
> 
> and milking cows...the Englishman that decided to see if the stuff that came outta there could be drank or not.



Hmmm....  If you want to call it "gutting", ok.  And children, cover your eyes.  

And someone tell the englishman that if the animal only has one teat, that's not a cow... it's a bull...  *shudder*


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## shesulsa (Jan 5, 2005)

> 1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?



House?  What's a house?  OH!  You mean the architectural structure which houses my computer?

*looks around*  Hey, what are those appliances in that tiny room with the mountain of smelly clothes?  Can I chat on them?  Oh wow!  Look at those dirty dishes balancing ever so precariously in the porcelain receptacle!  I wonder when someone's going to clean those up?


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