# You Know You're A Redneck IF



## hemi (Oct 13, 2006)

You wear Hillbilly Overalls:





*1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. *
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16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. *[/FONT]
*

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


21. You consider your license plate personalized**because your father made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


27. A tornado hits your neighborhood**and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation**because you were on jury duty.


30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.*


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## SFC JeffJ (Oct 13, 2006)

Luckily, the only one that I've done is #1!


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## Kreth (Oct 13, 2006)

31. You ever go to family reunions to pickup women.
32. You've ever mowed your lawn and found a vehicle.
33. Directions to your house include the words "turn off the paved road."


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## Drac (Oct 13, 2006)

Your Father walks you to school because you're both in the same grade...


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## CoryKS (Oct 13, 2006)

2004hemi said:


> *23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.*


 
Hey, now, I'm recycling here!  Yeah, that's it.  I'm eco-friendly.


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## kosho (Oct 13, 2006)

You walk into a dance  and  the band  singer  says welcome to the 
ho down  and your girlfriend hits the ground.

you make sure that when a photo is take  you show  your  best tooth...


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## bydand (Oct 13, 2006)

You idea of multi-tasking is: taking a shower, washing your hair and going pee all at the same time, same place.


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## crushing (Oct 13, 2006)

Thanksgiving dinner is ruined because you ran out of ketchup.


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## hemi (Oct 13, 2006)

Sad thing is that guy in the overalls looks just like my uncle Don, LMAO  I dont think they sell those at Wal-Mart yet. 


If the Chain attached to your billfold could double as a tow chain,

If your mobile home has more miles on it than your car does,


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## tshadowchaser (Oct 13, 2006)

Hate to say it but most of those sound like my wifes relatives


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## Kacey (Oct 13, 2006)

I'm kind of happy to say I can't add to any of those... :lfao:


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## FearlessFreep (Oct 14, 2006)

OK, I'll admit that I've down the yard burning thing, but only because I lived in Albuquerque and my lawn was all rocks and weeds and i was burning off the leaves

I also follow NASCAR enough to know whos driving a fair number of the cars (at least for Nextel series, I don't follow Busch or Craftsman, but if you even know what that means, welcome to the club : )


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## Drac (Oct 14, 2006)

bydand said:


> You idea of multi-tasking is: taking a shower, washing your hair and going pee all at the same time, same place.


 
Now *that's *funny...


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