# Military Language Problem



## KenpoTex (May 16, 2004)

The reason that the branches of the military don't get along with each other is a simple language barrier.

If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will lock all the doors, turn off the lights, and leave.

If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will set up barricades and not allow anyone in or out of the building.

If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will sign a three year lease with an option to buy. 

But, if you tell the Marines to secure a building, they will go in with a full tactical assault team, kill everyone inside, and disperse defensive fire at anyone who approaches


----------



## RRouuselot (May 16, 2004)

kenpotex said:
			
		

> The reason that the branches of the military don't get along with each other is a simple language barrier.
> 
> If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will lock all the doors, turn off the lights, and leave.
> 
> ...


 
And the Marines are the only ones that REALLY know what it means to "secure" a Bldg.........!!!!

ARMY actually stands for......

Aint
Ready for the
Marines
Yet

Is the Air Farce even part of the Military???
Last I heard it was an extention of the Prof. Golfers Assoc.....


----------



## arnisador (May 17, 2004)

I have always liked this one. When I worked for the Navy (as a civilian), people 'secured' things all the time.


----------



## KenpoTex (May 17, 2004)

RRouuselot said:
			
		

> And the Marines are the only ones that REALLY know what it means to "secure" a Bldg.........!!!!
> 
> ARMY actually stands for......
> 
> ...



Judging from your post and location would it be safe to assume that you're one of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children?


----------



## RRouuselot (May 17, 2004)

kenpotex said:
			
		

> Judging from your post and location would it be safe to assume that you're one of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children?


Not sure what you mean by "misguided" but yes I work on an ARMY base in Japan


----------



## loki09789 (May 17, 2004)

Fire is never defensive, it is always offensive....


----------



## theletch1 (May 17, 2004)

RRouuselot said:
			
		

> Not sure what you mean by "misguided" but yes I work on an ARMY base in Japan


*U*ncle *S*am's *M*isguided *C*hildren....USMC.  OOH-RAH!!


----------



## OUMoose (May 17, 2004)

... but isn't marine an acronym too?

*M*y
*A*ss
*R*ides
*I*n
*N*avy
*E*quipment



Sorry, a friend of mine in the Navy always tells me these.


----------



## Tgace (May 17, 2004)

Soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a MARINE joke?"The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The Soldier says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."


----------



## someguy (May 17, 2004)

Tgace said:
			
		

> Soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a MARINE joke?"The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The Soldier says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."


I have heard that joke in so many forms.  Blonde, graduates of UGA, and now about a Marine. I only hope I don't have to meet A blond Marine who graduated from UGA.


----------



## Tgace (May 17, 2004)

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes. He was, however, reluctant to pay the high prices the vendors were asking.

The Ranger eventually said to one of the shopkeepers, "Maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

The Ranger went into the bayou. He came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "Those must be the two Marines."

The Ranger saw a huge gator swimming underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck and strangled it to death with very little effort. The Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back near a pile of dead gators.

One of the Marines exclaimed, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"


----------



## loki09789 (May 17, 2004)

Tgace said:
			
		

> An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes. He was, however, reluctant to pay the high prices the vendors were asking.
> 
> The Ranger eventually said to one of the shopkeepers, "Maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"
> 
> ...


To think, I LEFT the USMC and joined his MP unit only to get deployed to Bosnia with him.  What happens?  HE gets the cushie duty.

Hey thanks again for that Euro tour, Tom.  Best thing about it was ..... the free movies and the gym.


----------



## KenpoTex (May 18, 2004)

Q: "So, did you hear about the two marines that walked into the bar?"


A: "You'd have thought one of them would have been smart enought to duck."


----------



## Tgace (May 18, 2004)

loki09789 said:
			
		

> To think, I LEFT the USMC and joined his MP unit only to get deployed to Bosnia with him.  What happens?  HE gets the cushie duty.
> 
> Hey thanks again for that Euro tour, Tom.  Best thing about it was ..... the free movies and the gym.


----------



## theletch1 (May 18, 2004)

Man, all the Marine jokes.... I'm going to go put my body armor on. :uhyeah: 
and yes, Marine could be an acronym for My *** rides in Navy equipment.  They made great taxis for getting the folks that were gonna do the real fighting where we needed to be. :jedi1:


----------



## Rick Wade (May 18, 2004)

Navy = 
N ever
A gain
V olunteer
Y ourself


A little boy was in the restroom at a restaurant and he sees a Marine use the bathroom and wash his hands.  He asks what are you doing?  The proud Marine turns to him and says "In the Marines they teach use to wash our hands after we use the bathroom".  Then a Sailor come in and uses the Bathroom.  As he was walking out the little boy says hey you forgot to wash your hands.  The Sailor says in the Navy they teach us not to pee on our hands.


----------

