# 12 Rules of Life



## Bob Hubbard (Apr 8, 2004)

A slightly humorous look at lifes rules.


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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and 
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are 
"I apologize" and "you are right." 

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them. 

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year 
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?" 

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat 
crow while it's still warm. 

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a 
bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you 
can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to 
spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have 
isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even 
our kids. 

12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You 
never know when you are going to need them to empty your 
bedpan.


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## Gary Crawford (Apr 8, 2004)

It is much easier to eat crow when warm,I prefer mine with cheese!


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## Satt (Dec 2, 2004)

Well, I think that about sums it up. LOL.


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## TigerWoman (Dec 2, 2004)

Those are great rules, Kaith, didn't see them before...thanks Satt!

Also great rules to remember around the Holidays....

Especially about apologizing and being good to your friends and family

Also stress kills...try to avoid it--see #7 or live more simply, or solve why you are having it.  It ages you ten years... heard recently on the news.  TW


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## hwarang (May 26, 2005)

HAHA i deffinitly agree with the relationships part about im sorry, and i agree lmao..

`-thee kevin


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## BrandiJo (May 26, 2005)

haha i really like those, they actualy would work too


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## arnisador (May 26, 2005)

Indeed...living well really is the best revenge.


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## Sam (May 27, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> Indeed...living well really is the best revenge.


I've always heard success is the best revenge, but they go hand in hand.

I especially agree with these:

_2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and _
_it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. _

and

_5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee._

*Edit: what is the crow one talking about? I don't understand.*


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## Bob Hubbard (May 27, 2005)

Samantha said:
			
		

> *Edit: what is the crow one talking about? I don't understand.*


 http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/eatcrow.htm


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## arnisador (May 27, 2005)

Tastes like chicken.


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## dubljay (May 27, 2005)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and
> it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.


 You wouldn't believe the number of people I see that try to fix _everything _with duct tape and WD-40.  I once saw duct tape being used (ineffectively) to hold down a carburator on a v-6 engine.  I saw another guy trying to use WD-40 as starting fluid for a lawn mower... he couldn't figure out why the carb on his mower got pluged...

 I swear... some people :whip:


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## Bester (May 27, 2005)

I prefer Conans rules...."To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

:wavey:


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## Gemini (May 27, 2005)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> 12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You
> never know when you are going to need them to empty your
> bedpan.


LOL! Those are all good but this one is the truest of them all.


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## Adept (May 29, 2005)

Kaith Rustaz said:
			
		

> 5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee


 Truer words were never spoken.

 Written.

 Typed.

 Whatever...


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## arnisador (May 29, 2005)

As a matter of fact, I think I'll pee right now...


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## Gemini (May 29, 2005)

arnisador said:
			
		

> As a matter of fact, I think I'll pee right now...


  Proof once again of your renowned wisdom. :idea::rofl:


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