young and helpless

[fissure]

Angus, I've read your posts on this matter and I must agree that a novice MAist shouldn't be teaching/showing anyone, anything.

I can't agree with your die hard postion that there will always be an authority figure to solve the bullying issue however.In my experience it's all to easy for determined *** holes to make weaker kids lives hell.I have seen it happen to several friends back when I was in high school.Sometimes people have to prove that there are easier victims to be found other than themselves.
JMO

 

[Nightingale]

this might sound stupid... but if this other kid has family issues and doesn't have a lot of friends around to support him... try being nice to the bully instead... I've seen a few bullies converted.

 

[Kenpo Wolf]

Originally posted by nightingale8472

,,,but if this other kid has family issues and doesn't have a lot of friends around to support him... try being nice to the bully instead... I've seen a few bullies converted.

I somewhat agree with this comment. The deal with most bullies is that they have a poor home life as well as very low self respect so they seek attention elswhere in negative ways. Approach the bully yourself with a smile, without being hostile, and ask rather then tell him to leave your buddy alone. The reason I said to ask is because if you told him to to leave your buddy alone, he would go on the defense and the situation would most likely escalate. By asking him, you would show respect toward him and maybe taught him a lesson more then any act of violence ever could

 

[Angus]

Fissure, I do understand your point of view, and I certainly agree if it's an out of school situation. I should've made that more clear. But being a student myself, in most school situations schools are so scared of lawsuits that they'll put round-the-clock monitors on bullies and people that they are scared could hurt someone. Just what I've seen happen.

However, there are other ways to handle it. Personally, being not scared of "bullies", I'd just talk to them. It's not as likely the bully will be converted, but if you initiate conversation with him of almost any sort you'll appear much more confident than they'll like, which could help stop it. The problem, though, is that they'll find someone else to bully, in most cases. Then, depending on your guilty conscious, you'll probably want to help talk to the next victim to show him how confront the bully, etc, and it's a neverending cycle. Sometimes bringing in authority is necessary. No, they aren't always around and in an adult situation this would be handled completely different, but maybe with some sort of intervention the bully can be helped more professionally (or at least removed from the enviroment) and hopefully ending the cycle.

Depends on the situation, I suppose. Regardless, he shouldn't teach the kid Muay Thai, and should NOT try to fight him. Talking and/or authority works, generally. If not, avoid him or stay in groups.

 

[muayThaiPerson]

ok...ive read all the post and when you guys say "authority", do u mean as in police or as in teachers?

im not teaching him how to fight. i told him to know where the bully is and stay on opposite grounds. he's going to start akido soon and hopefully its going to help him out.

thanks to all those who gave me advise:asian:

 

[Nightingale]

most of us who said "authority" referred to teachers. Police would probably be overkill, unless someone is in the position to be seriously hurt. If that is the case, he should check into the possibility of a restraining order on the bully... then the school can't put them in the same classes, and must make sure he complies with the order while on campus.

 

[drunken mistress]

I live in Spain where bullying in schools is really bad. It´s not the Spanish doing it but they do turn a blind eye. It´s mostly English kids and the sons of the Russian Mafia who do the really nasty stuff. I spent a term trying to sort out bullying via the headmaster in Spanish too, which is not my first language. My son was terrified of going to school and in tears every night. Across the summer I took him for karate lessons and learned with him so that we could practice a lot at home. He is now willing to take on any size bully for himself or his friends. He doesn´t always win but most of the bullies now have the sense to leave him alone and he rarely comes home with injuries these days. Talking and writing to teachers just doesn´t work. Training a kid does mainly because it gives them the courage to hit back. My son maintains that one odd lesson of Tae Kwon Do that he did gave him even better techniques for tackling bullies than the karate. Just a thought! If you don´t want to teach your kid to hit or kick, at least give them some of the blocking techniques from karate. The head blocks are particularly good for warding off attacks. Learning simple defense techniques for getting out of strangleholds is pretty necessary too.

 

[eggg1994]

this is what i don't like yall shouldn't just say the old saying just ignore it or don't let them get to you. bullying is a serious issue and i may be able to help why not stand up to your friends bullies by verally telling why they shouldn't bully and also tell them if they try to hurt your friend again you will make them pay. i know this would be bad advice but the only way those bullies will stop bothering your friend is to encourage him to stand up for what he believes in. you know when it comes to the topic bullying that just wants me to break their arm and choke them but i learned latter on in my life that they need to be educated. you know i want to know why can't you just stop those bullies i know its frusterating right now but that's what i would do.

 

[baborz]

Schools today almost all have zero tolerance rules(although seldom enforced),if the teacher isn't the answer,principal,if not satisfactory....superintendent. The child should know at least a little bit to protect his/herself from attackers. I would suggest a careful rigid hand to the side of the throat to get attention of a bully if it gets really severe but mostly blocks and movement. Can't touch him/her....can't hit him/her.....Nobody is without help.

 

[ballen0351]

Well since the OP was 8 years ago I hope hes all grown up and no longer bullied.