You Know You're A Redneck IF

hemi

Purple Belt
Joined
May 6, 2005
Messages
392
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3
Location
Forney TX
You wear Hillbilly Overalls:

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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

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16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
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19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean ?


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


21. You consider your license plate personalized
because your father made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal*Mart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


27. A tornado hits your neighborhood
and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation
because you were on jury duty.


30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
 
Luckily, the only one that I've done is #1!
 
31. You ever go to family reunions to pickup women.
32. You've ever mowed your lawn and found a vehicle.
33. Directions to your house include the words "turn off the paved road."
 
Your Father walks you to school because you're both in the same grade...
 
You walk into a dance and the band singer says welcome to the
ho down and your girlfriend hits the ground.

you make sure that when a photo is take you show your best tooth...
 
You idea of multi-tasking is: taking a shower, washing your hair and going pee all at the same time, same place.
 
Thanksgiving dinner is ruined because you ran out of ketchup.
 
Sad thing is that guy in the overalls looks just like my uncle Don, LMAO I don’t think they sell those at Wal-Mart yet.


If the Chain attached to your billfold could double as a tow chain,

If your mobile home has more miles on it than your car does,
 
I'm kind of happy to say I can't add to any of those... :lfao:
 
OK, I'll admit that I've down the yard burning thing, but only because I lived in Albuquerque and my lawn was all rocks and weeds and i was burning off the leaves

I also follow NASCAR enough to know whos driving a fair number of the cars (at least for Nextel series, I don't follow Busch or Craftsman, but if you even know what that means, welcome to the club : )
 
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