beau_safken said:
Hmm guess its just relative. Grow up in the hills and you don't really think about that kinda stuff. Naaa I don't curse a lot on dates or whenever, but I might have a less than pleasent tongue when im irritated. It's all good, not like I care. Sides, woman that can't put up with a F bomb here and there really needs to liven up some.
I kinda disagree (possibly) with some of the other posters on the cursing thing.
Don't clean up your language just for the sake of dating someone. Let me explain.
You SHOULD clean up your language in as much as you feel you need to for bettering yourself.
I'll use myself as an example, because I can have a potty mouth (which never impeded my dating, btw).
You'll want to be sure you have control over your language because that is a benefit to you. In other words, I don't want to be teaching a seminar, at a business meeting, or in front of kids and accidently "slip up." That is unexceptable. I also have self-respect, so I don't want to come off as this blow hard cursing up a storm. I believe in chivalry always and politeness in certain environments, like at a nice resteraunt or at church for example.
However, I am not morally averse to cursing. Other then for the sake of being socially polite, I don't believe that cursing is immoral. I am a linguistic descriptavest rather then a perscriptavest, meaning that I understand that language evolves and what is proper or improper or gramatically correct or not will enevitably change overtime. Therefore, what is offensive now may be replaced by something else in 100 years. So, in the moral sense, I see no reason not to use profanity.
So, I don't VALUE not-cursing, therefore if I was dating someone I wouldn't want to present that as a value. I wouldn't want to be percieved as a rude jerk, so I would behave in a courtly fashion, as I would recommend to anyone. But I wouldn't be trying to censor myself for the sake of impressing someone either.
Mainly, I guess what I am trying to say, is be yourself. If you curse sometimes (within reason; we're not talking yelling F-bombs in daycare centers), you don't want to present yourself as if you would never do such a thing because that would not only be misleading, but you probably don't want to be with someone who can't handle cursing.
People will often want to give you advice that involves you changing yourself for the sake of getting some girl to like you, and they don't even realize that is what they are doing. "Well, she doesn't like cursing so make sure you watch your language around her" or "she really likes coldplay so you should go out and buy a coldplay CD for the car ride" or "go read a book on antiquing because that is a hobby of hers." Movies present this kind of thing as "cute." It isn't...it's casterating, and it is a quick way to emasculate yourself, thus setting you up to be the "friend." Next thing you know, your listening to "coldplay" on the way to go out antiquing, and really watching those curse words while she tells you all about some other dude in her writing class that she really wants to date. You'll end that "date" lying awake in bed that night, slowly going insane while trying to interpret her "goodbye hug," and meanwhile she'll be in her bathtub with her vibrating shower messager dreaming about Ricardo from Composition 101 reading to her in his alurring accent.
And that could be the best case scenario. It could be worse... you waste months of both yours and her time and energy because she thinks you are really clean cut and really like going to her church, for example, when you really aren't the neighborhood leave it to beaver, you think penacostal evengelical types are weird, and this all becomes evident 6 months later. Next thing you know, your the ******* who "changed," when really, your the ******* who mislead by trying to be something your not to begin with. It's all bad ****, my friend, and you don't want to find yourself in a mess like either case. I've been in similar situations myself, and I have seen worse happened all too often.
Bottom, line: you should always be changing...but only to better yourself as a person. Don't get caught into the trap of trying to change yourself for the sake of anyone else, or you'll just be unhappy.
