What do you do when personal stuff effects training?

[Kittan Bachika]

A couple of days ago I got together with a group of friends to do some informal training. We share techniques and do some sparring.
One of our friends was completely out of it. He could barely focus. Which was surprising since he is the best of the group.
After we ended training, he apologized to all of us and told us that he recently has been going through some family stuff.
I can't give details, but his family have been arguing with each other for the last couple of months.
He was hoping that training with us would take it off his mind, but he had no energy to train. He felt spent but he wasn't exhausted or tired.
He wasn't sure if he was stressed or depressed.

We told him we were there if he needed us and that brought his spirits up.


What do you all do when you are feeling like that? When you can't seem to have the will to train or try to but aren't able to do it right?

My thing is that I take a couple of days off to meditate and refelct, then give it another shot.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Training IS what I do when the rest of life gets out of control.

 

[Tames D]

Training IS what I do when the rest of life gets out of control.

Thats me.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

Training IS what I do when the rest of life gets out of control.

Ditto. On the mat is the one place I never find myself worrying about finances or family stuff or the future. There's something about having people doing their best to pin me and choke me out that keeps me in the moment.

 

[Ironcrane]

I just take some time off. If I'm truly not in the mood for training than it's all just going to come out the way I feel, which wont help anything at all. I do think it is worth mentioning that deep breathing can help return my focus to the moment, so I can do better at whatever it is I'm doing at the time.

 

[jks9199]

I try to leave everything else outside the training hall. When I really can't, and my focus is wrong... I do something else. Because training without focus endangers both me and my training partners and students.

 

[Danny T]

Training is where it's at when life's problems attack, at least for me. If it is so bad that I can not focus then off of the mat and time for the heavy bag. 30-40 minutes of serious heavy bag work and most all is spent. Usually works for me to release the emotions of frustration and anger, and allows the coping mechanisms to work.

 

[Kittan Bachika]

I try to leave everything else outside the training hall. When I really can't, and my focus is wrong... I do something else. Because training without focus endangers both me and my training partners and students.

Funny you mention that. When it became clear he wasn't all there , we were all on our toes more than we usually are and every now and then someone would ask if he was okay. And he would be like yeah.
But he knew he was off, which is why he apologized.

 

[chrispillertkd]

When I step on the training floor everything else is on the back burner. You focus on what you're doing when you're doing it. Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow has worries of its own. Deal with them as they come in the same way you deal with training: completely focused on what you're doing in order to achieve your goal.

I have found that this approach is very helpful but a lot of people seem not to get the idea that the mind set one has in training should eventually be put to use outside the training hall. But then, I have seen lots of changes go on in people's training over the years since I've started training, so maybe that's not something many people focus on these days.

Pax,

Chris

 

[Gnarlie]

I worry more about what happens when training interferes with my personal stuff. Sometimes it's hard to keep the right perspective and balance.

Gnarlie

 

[rlobrecht]

When life's minor stresses hit, I too find a trip to the dojang really helps, generally much better than a run, or weights. I think part of this is that it takes much more focus to perform martial arts, compared to other exercise.

That said, I've haven't had the kind of stress you're implying since I've been doing TKD.

 

[ks - learning to fly]

when I'm in the dojang, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! .....not to say that I don't understand stress, but TKD is where I go to de-stress and where everything is ok....

 

[Black Belt Jedi]

I had a similar situation like that with a friend I knew for 8 years. After he got his black belt, his marriage went downhill, shortly after that, I noticed that his heart wasn't in the training, and then he disappeared from training.

Problems outside of Martial Arts haven't detered my training. I am able to do the training to take my mind off of my problems because I make the Martial Arts a part of my life. Lots of students that trained with through the years have quit training and never came back because of personal problems, and I guess that society today don't just get the Do (the way) of Karate training. I know that my life will get busier outside of training, I might meet a woman and marry her and have kids, so I am enjoying the training until it lasts.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Normally I'll try training or sparring to bring my spirits up again, but that normally doesn't work, so ill just stop the match/excuse myself from the dojo :/ I basically just slum around until something happens to lift my mood back up. Definitely not the best way to do it, but better than sparring more and getting myself injured or spreading the negativity around

 

[Aiki Lee]

Sometimes it's hard to focus on anything when things get in the way. As Mr. Miyagi said "When life gets complicated, go back to basics of life. Breathe."
Meditaion works wonders for this, but make it a physical meditation so he can focus on doing something rather than just thinking about something. Very focused breathing with some body movement should help.

 

[Black Belt Jedi]

I say that doing kata will help me take my mind off things, especially when training kata outdoors is great.