What are you doing?

[shesulsa]

My teacher said something very interesting to me the other night. I can't remember the exact wording, so I'll summarize here.

*Most people focus too much on what's wrong in their lives, what they're not doing, what they don't have, where they're not going when all they really need to do is focus on what they need to do, and spend a little more time doing what makes their eyes light up and their heart smile.*

I've heard something similar before - Do what you need to do and everything else will fall into place.

I've noticed this is quite true - if I devoted half the energy I spend towards reminiscing things I could be doing or stressing about what I haven't yet done, I'd probably be a lot more accomplished.

Your thoughts?

 

[bydand]

I think you are 100% right. I used to be very negitive about things until one day I was out with a couple of friends and their little girl when she noticed something crawling along. Well drop everything and lets watch this for the next 20 years. At first I was a bit peturbed for the delay, but then realized that watching a salamander crawling under a rotten tree actually was kind of neat. We didn't really have anyplace we had to get to, just an evening walk through the woods which was a nightly thing for them and I had dropped by when they were getting ready to go. I felt like a damn fool to tell the truth. I have been trying to look at the positives in my life after that very educational walk. What started out as an annoyance, I found out was something that really mattered, Mom and Dad didn't know what it was, so I explained it to her and the "big problem" I had stopped by to talk about suddenly felt to petty to even bring up.

Needless to say, I have been a much happier individual, and even though I still have my days, they are the exception instead of the rule now. I don't know why that particular episode on that walk affected me like it did, but I am so happy I took them up on their offer to join the on the walk, and not just come back a bit later. On a side note, it was shortly afterward I found the MA I love, and met the woman who would a couple of years later become my wife. Not saying they are related, but who knows. Plus I know during training that eventually I WILL get that particular technique that is evading my grasp, instead of just giving up on it.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

funny you should mention that. my wife an i had a conversation about this last night.

she'd had a rough day and was really spiralling down into it, so i asked her what, exactly had gone wrong.

1.she'd gone to a doctor she doesn't like and the doctor gave her poor advice.

2.something she'd had trouble finding showed up exactly where she'd thought it was, which i guess was embarassing.

3.she got a paycheck from a client that was correct, but less than she'd been hoping for (she's on salary during a 5 week pay period).

4.a friend of hers called her on a bad habit she has.

i responded thusly:

so the tragedies of your day included...

1. finding out your opinion about the doctor was right
2. you found something you'd been looking for
3. you got paid
4. you have a friend who loves you and is comfortable with you.

once she was done beating the hell out of me, she laughed and settled down.

it's all in how you look at things.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I think you are 100% right. I used to be very negitive about things until one day I was out with a couple of friends and their little girl when she noticed something crawling along. Well drop everything and lets watch this for the next 20 years. At first I was a bit peturbed for the delay, but then realized that watching a salamander crawling under a rotten tree actually was kind of neat.

I have been learning to see the world through my youngest daughter’s eyes lately and I have to say it is a rather amazing place.

A few months back when the stress of the day was getting to me and I felt I had no time I had to stop and sit with her while she took a nap. Being an adult I spent the first 30 minutes being upset because I had soooooo much to do. Then I realized this was actually exactly what I needed. Just sit down stop and relax. I sat there happily for the next 1.5 hours and when she woke up I started noticing more how she saw the world and I have been more relaxed ever since and at this time of year all I need to see is a pumpkin (She calls it a bunk kin) and no matter how stressed or upset I am I calm right down. She finds pumpkins pretty darned amazing and for the first time since I can remember so do I.

And along with my nap time induced relaxation I have realized I pretty much have al I need. I do forget that from time to time during the work week, but then I see a pumpkin.

And I have just recently remembered something I said to a friend of mine years ago that I had apparently forgot. Why worry, why be upset, if you can do something about it then do it. If you can’t then let it go. I am trying to do this now too.

 

[Ping898]

*Most people focus too much on what's wrong in their lives, what they're not doing, what they don't have, where they're not going when all they really need to do is focus on what they need to do, and spend a little more time doing what makes their eyes light up and their heart smile.*

I agree with you to an extent, I don't think you can live your life in the negative. That said I see nothing wrong with the occassional night when life seems to fall in on you and you just are upset and feel crappy about it, as long as it doesn't last more than a day or two. But I think there are some benefits to recognizing what is wrong with your life. When people talk about focusing on what they need to do, often times it just involves what they've already been doing. In my life I see something I don't like or consider wrong...usually I might wallow in it or whine about it for a day or two to a few friends, but then will set out to do something about changing it. It is often times when I look at what I consider wrong in my life I can figure out what is causing it. I was really unhappy in my last job, took me about a year in a half to recognize that a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was living in an area of the country I was basically allergic to and was making me sick, so I did something about it, I got a new job, moved to an area that I still have allergies in, but a lot less bad and am a lot happier now because of it....

 

[still learning]

Hello, Similing helps alot....try to keep a smile on all day? Try it for a week...than make it a habit!

People will notice...and you will find they will enjoy being around you more!........Aloha

 

[stickarts]

Yes, I agree and I have seen this time and time again. We often focus on wanting what we don't have (or don't think that we have)
Its easy to walk around in a state of "want" when you already have a tremendous amount to be grateful for!

I am not saying that we shouldn't strive to be more, but I am saying to take time every day to appreciate what we have and to really develop what we have around us already. We have to be careful of not seeing the forest for the trees!