cool isn't it lol! I came across this site a while back but forgot about it until I read this. enjoying reading it all again!
Sorry, I know this is totally off topic, but I can't seem to help myself. Some segments taken from Sven S Svenson, inheritor of the horned helmet, grandmaster of Berzerker Viking Martial Arts...
"Everything we do is based on the old Viking saying that
"it's better to stand and fight because if you run, you'll only die tired". "
"The BERZERKER™ mentality is to attack the attacker, kill the killer, mug the mugger, and rape the rapist – so to speak. "
"Improvised weapons are common objects that you use as weapons. Golf clubs, pencils, belts, coins, mobile phones, hats, bandanas, chains... You name it. If you knew what I could do to you with a frozen carrot, you'd be very afraid right now. "
"And we also do a lot of training in battlefield and raiding tactics... Have you never seen a riot or a gang of soccer hooligans at work? Have you never seen a fight between two gangs?
And have you never wanted to bring your friends to beat someone up? Raiding tactics is all about beating people up together with your friends. Hmmm... Maybe that came out a little wrong. Hahaha... Well, you know what I mean!"
regarding UFC competitors: "Yes – by Thor! Those guys are just pretty boys in spandex hot pants... They don't know anything about real combat!! In the old days, the berzerkers used to rape guys like that just for fun... I'm joking, but what I really mean is – when was the last time you were attacked by someone dressed in hot pants, wearing leather gloves? And I'm not talking about your wife here! Hahaha... "
"My friend – the only reason the Filipino systems are
alive today is because the Vikings never went to the Philippines in the old days. Otherwise they would've been extinct! Don't get me wrong, I've seen some very impressive Filipino stuff out there, but mostly it's just a lot of useless stick twirling! You know, just like those cheerleading girls... "
"Well, maybe tae kwon do... I like the fact that theyÂ’re training so hard to become losers. You know, training how to lose a fight as quickly as possible. That makes it much easier for me, if I ever have to fight one of those clowns. Hahaha... "
"The "Rape the Rapist" course is probably the best rape prevention course in the world today. At least I've never seen anything better. It's based on the BERZERKER™ concept to "attack the attacker" – hence the name – and, by Thor, it's pretty damned hardcore! I actually feel sorry for any rapist who'd experience the stuff we teach in this module! You know, we've included a lot of eye gouging, biting, finger breaking, fish hooking in this course. And a lot of improvised weapons too. You know, it's pretty damned difficult to rape someone when your nuts have just been skewered by a pencil... That's a pretty strong turn-off in my world – even for a Viking! Hahaha... People often say that
"to teach knife defense, you must first know how to use a knife". It's the same with rape; to defeat the rapist, you must first learn to think and act like a rapist. And if you know anything about the Vikings you know that they did A LOT of raping and pillaging in the old days. This is, of course, not something we're proud of - but now we've been able to turn this into something good. So, any woman – or man, for that matter – who worries about getting raped, come to our seminars or buy our forthcoming DVD! You'll never be afraid of rape again. You can put that in your Viking pipe and smoke it! Hahaha... "
:rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
