To whom it may concern

[TSDTexan]

Actually, I agree with TSD Texan on this. Women are superior at giving birth. I don't know of any men that have given birth. How can anyone disagree with this?. I realize your path is different, but in most cases women are better at raising children . No doubt about it.

Be very careful what you say. You could run afoul the TOS, and get a warning for saying things that will get you accused of being a sexist bigot.

Tread lightly.

 

[Tez3]

The best people at raising children are those who love them, have their best interests at heart, protect them and teach them to be well rounded, independent adults. That's it.

One thing that adults do is teach children that saying sorry means everything is fine and forgotten. Not so. Take a young child who in temper/pique/selfishness, whatever, hits another child who has a toy it wants. The hit child cries, the adult tells the child who hit it to say sorry, the child does so however unwillingly, the adult says there everything's fine now. The next time that child hits another child he looks, sees the adult and immediately says sorry, the adult tells the hit child look he didn't mean it he's sorry but the child isn't sorry, he's chuffed because he manipulated an adult and did what he wanted while getting away with it.

What we have is just that, someone constantly apologising but doesn't at all see where things went wrong because the sarcastic comments keep coming as well as a rather petulant post elsewhere. I don't take criticism well at all ( see, you never guessed that did you lol) but in life revenge is a dish best served cold, the best way to reply is to be politely sure of your facts, we all have subjects we know inside out but arguing about something you don't know with someone who does is not going to end well.

We all have opinions on things that matter to us, we can be positive our opinions are the correct ones but they aren't sacred cows, others can laugh, deride and just plain argue we are wrong. You can think about your opinions, you can change them or keep them but you can't complain when others don't share them, try to change their minds by all means but don't be surprised if they are as stubborn as you are. An opinion isn't a fact.

Sarcasm....... and irony. Now it's often said in Europe and elsewhere ( yes the Antipodes) that Americans don't 'do' irony and don't often understand sarcasm, on the whole looking at the media output form the States this could well be true. This American writer has put it well. Here's The Real Reason Americans Don't Get Irony this British writer puts the other side Here's What Happens When You Say Something Ironic To An American it's about communicating style, seeing sarcasm where none is meant, not seeing it when it is sarcasm. Failing to understand a comment because it doesn't gel with what is going on in the reader's mind has a lot to do with why comments on the internet lead to arguments. A long while ago I wrote a post and said something along the lines of 'you wouldn't want your children doing this', I got an angry post back telling me not to dare mentioning his children in public, how dare I impugn things about the children and him' etc, it was a shock, I had meant it generally, didn't know the guy had kids, it wasn't a personal post from me but to this day the poster has been dogging me, reading into my posts stuff that really, really isn't there. It's so bad he is on ignore and I don't get tempted to find out what is being said, this guy hates me so I really do ignore my 'ignored trio'. The ignore feature is there so you can forget about those you don't want to read, it's not a toy to 'threaten' people with because I'm sure those I ignore don't care whether I read them or not.
The stuff about irony/sarcasm is a generalisation of course but it does show that different people communicate in different ways. The trick is to read and learn how people communicate where you are in this case it would be how they do it on MT.

To a large extent MT is a far more academic site than many other martial arts sites. People expect statements to be cited and checkable, if it's an opinion say 'I think' or 'in my opinion'. Saying 'Judo is about throwing people' for example isn't enough, it's a vague description, here, people want a precise description of Judo. They like precise descriptions of techniques too, (something I find hard to do, I can show people more easily than I can describe it). There are a huge amount of different styles on martial arts and I think we probably have a representative of most on here, so if I say 'throw a front kick' it's going to mean different things to different people which again can lead to arguments. Even among karateka there is are many different ways of doing things so precision is everything. When I say use the word 'mawashigeri' it describes something karateka know and non karate people can look up, even though there are nuances in that kick ie what part of the foot you strike with. A video can be useful but again you have to get the precise style, a Shotokan front stance is done slightly differently from a Wado Ryu one ( it's longer), I've seen quite a few videos recently where people are using them to demonstrate something and others have come back saying well, 'yes but that's not my style so we don't do it that way' or as is common now showing a non expert doing a technique really badly but are being held up as representative of a style, everyone seems to make videos but they aren't very good proof of anything.

Still, that's my opinion, Usain Bolt is running in the 200m heats shortly so it's coffee and plonk myself in front of the telly. I hope he beats that cheat again, I hate cheats...............

 

[Dirty Dog]

Actually, I agree with TSD Texan on this. Women are superior at giving birth.

There is a vast difference between being "better" at something, and being the only gender biologically capable of doing it.

I realize your path is different, but in most cases women are better at raising children . No doubt about it.

Although this opinion was quite commonly held to be true in the 1950's, there are any number of studies done since that time that demonstrate this to be completely untrue.

 

[Tez3]

Although this opinion was quite commonly held to be true in the 1950's

In the UK and Europe at that time there were many children being brought up by mothers only as a result of the war. I don't think there is a best gender for bringing children up just the best person/people. Often circumstances decide who actually brings the children up, I mostly brought my children up because my husband was in the RAF, away on deployments and wars a lot, incidentally I had to leave the RAF to have children as at the time you couldn't stay in and have children, men could.
You can't say that a man or a woman is best at raising children without knowing every parent out there and that's ridiculous.

 

[TSDTexan]

There is a vast difference between being "better" at something, and being the only gender biologically capable of doing it.



Although this opinion was quite commonly held to be true in the 1950's, there are any number of studies done since that time that demonstrate this to be completely untrue.

Please forgive me if you already know this. I have been accused of talking down to folks, and for the sake of those who dont already know. Perhaps those whose English is a second language may benefit when I state some obvious things.

When I said my comment initially, it was the closing statement of a thought being expressed. It was meant as colorful figurative language.

It became the focus, instead of the preceding statements.
I wish that had not been the case.

Its helpful to realize some people sometimes use figurative language, instead of always being literal.

And at the same time, something's are in a true/false sense, literally true, but imprecise enough that some object.

Eg. An adult male kangaroo is poorer at carrying a Joey around the a female kangaroo.

This seems to be a better statement than

"A female adult kangaroo is superior at carrying a joey around, as male marsupials do not have pouches"

Both are actually true statements.

The better able to something vs having sole ability to do something's vast difference is not really an issue when someone is using hyperbole.

Figurative language allows far more flexible statements to be accepted, such as overstatement... than a purely literal, almost mathematically precise useage of language.

"He was a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."
Vs
"He was a very poor fighter, and he lost against a more able bodied opponent."

Two ways of saying the same thing.

 

[Tez3]

Please forgive me if you already know this. I have been accused of talking down to folks, and for the sake of those who dont already know. Perhaps those whose English is a second language may benefit when I state some obvious things.

When I said my comment initially, it was the closing statement of a thought being expressed. It was meant as colorful figurative language.

It became the focus, instead of the preceding statements.
I wish that had not been the case.

Its helpful to realize some people sometimes use figurative language, instead of always being literal.

And at the same time, something's are in a true/false sense, literally true, but imprecise enough that some object.

Eg. An adult male kangaroo is poorer at carrying a Joey around the a female kangaroo.

This seems to be a better statement than

"A female adult kangaroo is superior at carrying a joey around, as male marsupials do not have pouches"

Both are actually true statements.

The better able to something vs having sole ability to do something's vast difference is not really an issue when someone is using hyperbole.

Figurative language allows far more flexible statements to be accepted, such as overstatement... than a purely literal, almost mathematically precise useage of language.

"He was a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."
Vs
"He was a very poor fighter, and he lost against a more able bodied opponent."

Two ways of saying the same thing.

You know you are babbling right?

The better able to something vs having sole ability to do something's vast difference is not really an issue when someone is using hyperbole.

This sentence makes no sense.

"He was a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."
Vs
"He was a very poor fighter, and he lost against a more able bodied opponent."

Two ways of saying the same thing.

Well no, not exactly the same thing at all. I could pick it to pieces but really can't be bothered. The one thing I will say is when in a hole stop digging.

 

[Zero]

Personally, I find this quote from another thread both misogynistic and insulting. I raised my two boys, even though my ex had custody and never contributed a dime in child support, because she was a horrible mother and I didn't want them to grow up to live terrible lives.

I seriously think you need to examine exactly where you are on the path of shu-ha-ri. As the quote goes ... I do not think it means what you think it means.

Thanks, I am glad you raised this point, although only just saw it now! There are plenty of stellar parents out there that happen to be dads and I can think of a few in my close group where the dad devotes far more time to the kids while the mum is focused elsewhere. I work pretty horrific hours at times but pour all that I can into my kids' mental and physical development and to simply ensuring they have a fun, filled life. Old stereotypes should be binned!!

 

[Zero]

Actually, I agree with TSD Texan on this. Women are superior at giving birth. I don't know of any men that have given birth. How can anyone disagree with this?. I realize your path is different, but in most cases women are better at raising children . No doubt about it.

Yeah, agree on the "birth" bit, the rest - and your comment on women being better at raising kids - is absolute tosh!!

 

[TSDTexan]

Thanks, I am glad you raised this point, although only just saw it now! There are plenty of stellar parents out there that happen to be dads and I can think of a few in my close group where the dad devotes far more time to the kids while the mum is focused elsewhere. I work pretty horrific hours at times but pour all that I can into my kids' mental and physical development and to simply ensuring they have a fun, filled life. Old stereotypes should be binned!!

Interesting view this guy has.

So It’s Politically Incorrect To Say Women Are BETTER At Raising Children Than Men? – ThisIsYourConscience.com

However, I personally don't feel that either gender in and of itself, is across the board, inferior or superior in the role of raising children. The reason is that broad sweeping generalizations about either fail to take into account that all males, or females are unique. So there are no absolutes that can be observed in a search for uniform characteristics, to base a judgment with.

Humans, in this sense, are not like cars that roll of an assembly line, with full interchangeable natures. Everyone is a one-off.

However testosterone has an effect on males to increase aggressive behavior, which can affect the parent child relationship.

A scientific discovery that was made is that frequent holding of offspring, and frequent and prolonged interaction with ones young actually causes the body to lower testosterone levels. But simply being in the same house with one's offspring doesn't have the same effect.

 

[Tez3]

Interesting view this guy has.

So It’s Politically Incorrect To Say Women Are BETTER At Raising Children Than Men? – ThisIsYourConscience.com

No, it's not really interesting at all, it's from a culture that isn't mine ie American so there is nothing I can identify with. Saying women are better at raising children isn't politically correct because by saying that you are saying that men are less good at it, surely that meaning of the phrase should be obvious to you? It's nothing to do with feminism, it's really actually not about political correctness, it's about people's incorrect perceptions of how men raise children

 

[Dirty Dog]

Interesting view this guy has.

So It’s Politically Incorrect To Say Women Are BETTER At Raising Children Than Men? – ThisIsYourConscience.com

It's not a matter of political correctness. It's a matter of FACTUAL correctness.
Your misogynistic views are outdated and demonstrably wrong. Wake up and smell the equality.

 

[Zero]

Interesting view this guy has.

So It’s Politically Incorrect To Say Women Are BETTER At Raising Children Than Men? – ThisIsYourConscience.com

Thanks for the read. Personally I don't give a damn about being PC or whatever whoever wrote that article wants to call it. I just like to stick to the facts and not the BS, BS being women are "better" at raising kids.

 

[Tez3]

Traditionally one could say that it was the women who brought the children up, well among the better off certainly where families could afford to have the mother stay at home. Among the very well off of course one didn't bring one's own children up anyway, they have nurses, governesses and tutors then onto boarding school with the little dears.
The truth among us ordinary folk is that many mothers have to go out to work, have to, not choose to and it's always been that way all through history. This means childcare is actually split between the parents with fathers doing as much as the mothers, that's where there are mothers AND fathers. However circumstances that happen in life mean that often children are left with one parent. There is a whole other argument about single mothers not being good enough to raise children and they need a father, that one tends to knock the argument that only women can raise children properly doesn't it, where single mothers are accused of turning their children up to be yobs, scroungers and even gay!
So who is best? The simple answer is a good parent. this can be a single mother, or a single father or a same sex couple of either gender, it can be a male and female couple, it really doesn't matter. Some people are better parents than others, but the gender isn't so much a factor in whether they will be a good parent or not. Men have a harder time being a single parent because society makes it harder, but then some societies don't like single mothers either. There of course is that famous saying that it takes a village to raise a child, perhaps that is truer than anything because one doesn't even have to be related to a child to bring it up properly and well, it just takes a decent and loving human being to raise a child!

 

[The Great Gigsy]

As a stay at home dad, I find the notion that women are more suited for child care offensive.

 

[jks9199]

Much sociological and psychological research into parent/child relationships, parenting, and child development has found that mothers and fathers each contribute something different to the growth and development of children. That doesn't make one gender superior to other unless we start looking at biologically specific elements. Fathers suck at breast feeding, since they generally don't produce milk. That doesn't mean a father can't successfully feed a child, however. Bottles can deliver both formula and breast milk... Again, one gender is not superior -- each brings something different to the process. Tires, transmissions, and motors are all part of the drive system of a car. Each contributes something different -- but there are ways to adjust. You can roll a car downhill, or simply push or tow it without a motor. You can link the engine directly to the drive wheels, and the car will go. You won't have be as efficient or have as much control, but it'll get the car going. You can run on bare wheels or replace them with wood and so on. Like I said -- each contributes something different to the process. And mothers and fathers contribute to the process of child development in different ways. But neither is "better."

 

[Tez3]

No one is born knowing how to raise children. Even if you do childcare courses or train to be a nanny when it comes to have your own children you learn on the job, you may think you know how to bring up children but your own children will always confound you.

There is a special bond between a mother and the children we give birth to but that's a different issue to raising children. There is a bond too between fathers and their children but again that is a different issue.

Sadly society dictates more on who brings up children than anything else, economics being as they are, usually it needs two parents to work to support a family, here in the UK the government is pushing to get women out to work earlier and earlier after giving birth. The cost of childcare is extortionate, fathers are seen as the same way as mothers, if they don't work they are scroungers, little help is available for parents of either gender these days. Our government is on a path to destroy family life, their own children mostly at public schools ( in the UK public schools are hugely expensive private schools) or with nannies. So despite what anyone thinks here, most children will probably end up being brought up by strangers in nurseries, after school clubs and with child minders while parents slave away to earn a basic wage.

 

[Zero]

As a stay at home dad, I find the notion that women are more suited for child care offensive.

Half tongue in cheek, half serious, how did you convince your other half (I assume you are one of a couple) that you were the one to stay at home? My wife had her concerns I would spend more time in the gym or dojo (with the kids in train).

 

[The Great Gigsy]

Zero in the beginning me stay home started as chance. When then the economy took a dump, I lost my job. Because of that l found myself in the role as a stay at home dad. As it turns out I'm not so bad at beginning domestic. Since then I found new employment, so by day its mister mom and by night manger of a local pizza place. Next fall I can join the world of the 9 to 5. We never wanted our girls in daycare and our youngest will be school age then. My wife does joke that I turned them it little boys as they love video games, comic books,and futbol.

 

[TSDTexan]

It's not a matter of political correctness. It's a matter of FACTUAL correctness.
Your misogynistic views are outdated and demonstrably wrong. Wake up and smell the equality.

Your absolutely factually correct, as harmony and peace is of highest importance in this community.

This message is sent from the Tatemae and Omote of TsdTexan.

 

[Tez3]

Your absolutely factually correct, as harmony and peace is of highest importance in this community.

This message is sent from the Tatemae and Omote of TsdTexan.

Now that is sarcasm....... and probably a couple of other things besides.

sent from good old fashioned plain speaking.