To Engage Or Not To Engage..That Is The Question.

[Drac]

As to what jks9199 wrote most of the time all that is needed is a stare and people do sence when they come across someone who has been there before.

Yep..A scary stare is a real diffuser...

 

[MJS]

So far it seems like everyone thats posted is all on the same page...assess the situation, if you can defuse it w/o physical confrontation, do so. I can't say that I disagree. Material things, ie: your money, car, wallet, can all be replaced, whereas your life can't. I have to wonder though, how often, when people do comply, they still get assaulted, shot or stabbed. I wonder if, given that possibility, it wouldn't be better to, if an opening presented itself, to take advantage of it, and fight back.

I'm all for attempting to defuse the situation, but the other half of me hates to be a victim.

Thoughts?

 

[jks9199]

So far it seems like everyone thats posted is all on the same page...assess the situation, if you can defuse it w/o physical confrontation, do so. I can't say that I disagree. Material things, ie: your money, car, wallet, can all be replaced, whereas your life can't. I have to wonder though, how often, when people do comply, they still get assaulted, shot or stabbed. I wonder if, given that possibility, it wouldn't be better to, if an opening presented itself, to take advantage of it, and fight back.

I'm all for attempting to defuse the situation, but the other half of me hates to be a victim.

Thoughts?

I never said be a victim. And I don't think you'll find me saying that if you dig through posts...

Now, I have said make a conscious decision to give up a material item like your wallet if that's all that it'll take to get out of trouble. To me -- the fact that it's a conscious decision on your part makes all the difference. Victims let things happen to them, and let themselves be defined by what happens to them. Survivors control what happens to them... It may not always be good, but they control it. Let's look at one survivor... Remember the guy who made a series of dumb mistakes, and got himself stuck while rock climbing. He could have been a victim; he could have waited there until someone found him (or his body). Instead, he took control and took his own arm off. Extreme? Hell yes. But HE was in control. It happened on HIS terms. And he remained in control, making choices until they got him out of there.

You bring up the question "what if I comply, and they still..." You have to decide, based on the information you have at hand, whether or not compliance will work. If you have any doubt that giving up property will guarantee your survival, then you're in the same boat as if they were promising to "only hurt you a little bit." FIGHT BACK, with every thing you've got. And do it on YOUR terms, not their's. Notice that I have never suggested submitting to any sort of physical attack; I'm not a fan of the so-called advice about "giving in to a rapist" that some loons have trumpeted, or of meekly accepting a minor assault (unless it's part of a larger plan... but that's a whole different kettle of fish). Let me be perfectly clear. If your attacker has already crossed the line to a physical attack, then you need to respond physically, and violently until you are safe. But I'll never second guess someone who made choices and lived -- even if they weren't the choice I'd have made.

 

[Kacey]

I never said be a victim. And I don't think you'll find me saying that if you dig through posts...

Now, I have said make a conscious decision to give up a material item like your wallet if that's all that it'll take to get out of trouble. To me -- the fact that it's a conscious decision on your part makes all the difference. Victims let things happen to them, and let themselves be defined by what happens to them. Survivors control what happens to them... It may not always be good, but they control it. Let's look at one survivor... Remember the guy who made a series of dumb mistakes, and got himself stuck while rock climbing. He could have been a victim; he could have waited there until someone found him (or his body). Instead, he took control and took his own arm off. Extreme? Hell yes. But HE was in control. It happened on HIS terms. And he remained in control, making choices until they got him out of there.

You bring up the question "what if I comply, and they still..." You have to decide, based on the information you have at hand, whether or not compliance will work. If you have any doubt that giving up property will guarantee your survival, then you're in the same boat as if they were promising to "only hurt you a little bit." FIGHT BACK, with every thing you've got. And do it on YOUR terms, not their's. Notice that I have never suggested submitting to any sort of physical attack; I'm not a fan of the so-called advice about "giving in to a rapist" that some loons have trumpeted, or of meekly accepting a minor assault (unless it's part of a larger plan... but that's a whole different kettle of fish). Let me be perfectly clear. If your attacker has already crossed the line to a physical attack, then you need to respond physically, and violently until you are safe. But I'll never second guess someone who made choices and lived -- even if they weren't the choice I'd have made.

Great post - I really like the distinction you're making here. :asian:

 

[TheOriginalName]

Some great points have been made so far...

I think the general misconception about martial arts is that it's is only about fighting. That whilst at the dojo we only train to kill and destroy.
And if you look at the "public" face of MA it's not hard to see why.

MA movie don't often show disengagement - wouldn't make for much of a movie then.
UFC doesn't show disengagement either....

But the truth is that the majority of the arts (from my limited understanding) promote the idea of "the best place to be in a fight is not there". And it is this that the public does not see.

So for me - i avoid the situation if i can.
If i can't avoid the situation, i'll try and talk or bribe my way out (an offer of a beer can always settle things down)
If i can't talk my way out i'll consider complying with the demands...
but if my life is in danger (or that of someone else) i'll stand and fight.

Fortunately so far i've avoided having to fight - and i am very thankful for that.

I'm sure i could go on for pages more...but i've probably already bored you to death (hmmm....could that be a new defence??).

Disclaimer: All thought and opinions have been made by an individual who enjoys his instanity....far too much!!

 

[Yari]

I agere with the assement part, and some of the escape ideas. But I'm thinking that assesment is a mentally concious (sp?) thing. Using up the mental space that can be used to act. The newer you are to a situation the more energi you using on assesment.

How do people train to minimize this assesment, so that it becomes natural just "to do the right thing".

Before poeple jump in and write, that they practice by training realistic on so on. Think about it. You dont know whats happening, so how do you pratice to ensure that what you have as an "correct" assesment stays correct while the situation unfolds.

/yari

 

[jks9199]

I agere with the assement part, and some of the escape ideas. But I'm thinking that assesment is a mentally concious (sp?) thing. Using up the mental space that can be used to act. The newer you are to a situation the more energi you using on assesment.

How do people train to minimize this assesment, so that it becomes natural just "to do the right thing".

Before poeple jump in and write, that they practice by training realistic on so on. Think about it. You dont know whats happening, so how do you pratice to ensure that what you have as an "correct" assesment stays correct while the situation unfolds.

/yari

Any form of practice is necessarily a simulation of the real thing. Some are closer than others, and some serve different purposes. One-step or other scripted forms of practicing responses to attacks allow you to engrain the vision of an attack with a response; controlled sparring (we call it "offense-defense" because the roles are pre-assigned) allows you to practice in a less scripted manner, and free sparring allows you to practice the learned techniques against a (hopefully) unpredictable opponent under pressure. Reality or scenario based training moves the learned techniques from ideal application to more of a real world application... Visualization practice allows you to rehearse situations and responses. And so on...

The bottom line is simple. How do you perfect your responses? PRACTICE.

It's not fun, it's not "kewl"... it's just repetitive & sort of dull. But that's what it takes.