The solution to the US problems

[MaxiMe]

Gasp. You think that ONLY comes from Canada??? You break my cold, frozen, snowed-in heart.

ahh I knew I'd get a reaction lol

 

[CanuckMA]

I want the amber liquid that came out of the bourbon barrels before this beer went in those same barrels. Bourbon barrel aged maple syrup on pancakes and bacon candied with the same syrup along with a pour of Founders Breakfast Stout to sip would be the perfect...not just breakfast...but any meal!

Minus the bacon, that does sound great.

 

[MaxiMe]

I want the amber liquid that came out of the bourbon barrels before this beer went in those same barrels. Bourbon barrel aged maple syrup on pancakes and bacon candied with the same syrup along with a pour of Founders Breakfast Stout to sip would be the perfect...not just breakfast...but any meal!

Hmm burbon vs beer.. I need to re-evaluate those 3 b's for food

 

[mook jong man]

Let me enlighten people about the great Aussie barbie

1. We don't throw a shrimp on the barbie , in Oz they are called prawns , and I have never been to a barbie where somebody put prawns on the hotplate , maybe a "Barra" (Barramundi) fish but never prawns.
2. Real blokes will just chuck on a few steaks , some snags (sausages) and a bit of onion if your lucky.
3. The bloke doing the barbecueing will be surrounded by other blokes called "mates" , they will all be talking ******** and "sinking the piss". (drinking copious amounts of beer)
4. The sheilas are in charge of getting the salad ready.
5. The meat shall be grilled until it is approaching the state similar to that of carbon where after it will be smothered with tomato sauce or bbq sauce.
6. We don't stand around drinking Foster's , we export that crap , no one drinks it here.
7. As they are shoving a sausage sandwich down their gob with one hand whilst holding a stubbie (small beer bottle) in the other hand with tomato sauce dribbling down their chin the appreciative guest will say "Top barbie mate" , the host bloke will then say "No worries Macka" or in some cases it could be "Johnno" , "Kev" , "Davo" , "Dazza" , "Gazza" or "Wocka".
8. Australians are way to lazy to address somebody by their full name , so if you come here expect to get your name abbreviated.

 

[granfire]

It's universal for the 'Sheilas' to deal with the salad....
The blokes gather around the fire, while the chicks gather in the kitchen....

:lfao:

and no, it's true, 100%!!!

 

[Steve]

Technically, mook, in the states that would be called grilling. Bbq is low and slow. But we canAgree that beret is an absolute must.

Edit. Beer. Not beret. O hate my phone.

 

[Carol]

Technically, mook, in the states that would be called grilling. Bbq is low and slow. But we canAgree that beret is an absolute must.

Edit. Beer. Not beret. O hate my phone.

:roflmao:

I had this image of you standing by a grill, in a dyed gi, with a beret died to match.

Then I nearly choked on my tea by laughing so hard. You're dangerous, Steve!

 

[granfire]

Technically, mook, in the states that would be called grilling. Bbq is low and slow. But we canAgree that beret is an absolute must.

Edit. Beer. Not beret. O hate my phone.

LOLOLOLOLOL

damnyouautocorrect......

Then again, I figured it's some weird PNW gig....

 

[mook jong man]

No he is correct , a beret is a must if your having a barbecue in FRANCE.

 

[Cyriacus]

...GI. Beret. Barbie. Stubbies. Sheilas makin Salad. Micky and Donny (Names may vary) watchin the Footy. Johnno wearin his Outback Cowboy Cap. Mozzies everywere. More Mozzies. Barra. Flies. Sauce. More Stubbies.

Sounds like a typical Weekend to Me.

 

[JohnEdward]

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II



In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.


God Save the Queen!

Bravo, and of course we saved you're asses in WWII :lol:- see thread "America Saves Britain" to get the joke.

 

[elder999]

Technically, mook, in the states that would be called grilling. Bbq is low and slow. But we canAgree that beret is an absolute must.

Edit. Beer. Not beret. O hate my phone.

ANd that right there is an explanation of the greatness of American food.

Grilling is great-I'll fire up the grill all year round: steaks, sausage, burgers, fish,lobster, chicken, ribs, shrimp, lamb-chops, pork-chops, fruit (pineapple and peaches especially!)vegetable,:sliced pumpkin, eggplant, zuccini, asparagus (grilled asparagus last night!) leg of lamb,kabobs, and on, and on, and on-I do paella on the grill-of course, I'm not the average "cook.

Barbecue, though.........likely from the Taino or Timicua-Indians of Florida and the Carribean (you knew I'd get Indians into it somehow) people mostly extinct, now (some Puerto Ricans claim some Taino heritage). Anyway, the word, barabicu, or barabacoa-"sacred fire pit." It's also related to the word buccaneer , just as an aside. In any case, it should really take all day....so, American barbecue:

I get a brisket. I trim off the fat, marinade it over night, let it dry and drain and rub it with dry herbs. I have a smoker, and I start a fire in it, around 6 in the morning or so. I let the fire die down enough so that there are no flames, and the temperature in the cooking space of the smoker is around 200 F. Maybe a scoche higher, but not much, and I throw that brisket in there. I keep the fire going at just that smoldering level, so the meat is slowly cooked by the smoke-for like, 12-16 hours.......so there's fire tending, and drinking, and snacking-even a grilled lunch along the way--until we have a hunk of meat that weighs about 25 lbs., and it's falling apart tender. Maybe slather with some sauce, or serve sauce on the side......other cuts of meat, and poultry take far less time, and smoked salmon doesn't really qualify as "barbecue" except in the technical sense. Ribs and pork shoulder-barbecue.

Uniquely American-as in, from the American continent(s).

 

[granfire]

ANd that right there is an explanation of the greatness of American food.

Grilling is great-I'll fire up the grill all year round: steaks, sausage, burgers, fish,lobster, chicken, ribs, shrimp, lamb-chops, pork-chops, fruit (pineapple and peaches especially!)vegetable,:sliced pumpkin, eggplant, zuccini, asparagus (grilled asparagus last night!) leg of lamb,kabobs, and on, and on, and on-I do paella on the grill-of course, I'm not the average "cook.

Barbecue, though.........likely from the Taino or Timicua-Indians of Florida and the Carribean (you knew I'd get Indians into it somehow) people mostly extinct, now (some Puerto Ricans claim some Taino heritage). Anyway, the word, barabicu, or [i[barabacoa[/i]-"sacred fire pit." It's also related to the word buccaneer , just as an aside. In any case, it should really take all day....so, American barbecue:

I get a brisket. I trim off the fat, marinade it over night, let it dry and drain and rub it with dry herbs. I have a smoker, and I start a fire in it, around 6 in the morning or so. I let the fire die down enough so that there are no flames, and the temperature in the cooking space of the smoker is around 200 F. Maybe a scoche higher, but not much, and I throw that brisket in there. I keep the fire going at just that smoldering level, so the meat is slowly cooked by the smoke-for like, 12-16 hours.......so there's fire tending, and drinking, and snacking-even a grilled lunch along the way--until we have a hunk of meat that weighs about 25 lbs., and it's falling apart tender. Maybe slather with some sauce, or serve sauce on the side......other cuts of meat, and poultry take far less time, and smoked salmon doesn't really qualify as "barbecue" except in the technical sense. Ribs and pork shoulder-barbecue.

Uniquely American-as in, from the American continent(s).

what it boils down to:
man make fire
throw meat on fire
stay gone all day
make for happy dinner.....
man stay out of wife hair all day and make good food.


eh, whatever...make fire burn meat... a guy's way of cooking.

 

[elder999]

what it boils down to:
man make fire
throw meat on fire
stay gone all day
make for happy dinner.....
man stay out of wife hair all day and make good food.


eh, whatever...make fire burn meat... a guy's way of cooking.

Ya see, that right there is a woman's prejudice. I can do pastries, and soups, and breads, and souffles (though, admittedly, not often) and casseroles, and Italian, and Japanese, and Korean, and Chinese,and Thai, and Indian, and Indonesian, and Greek-all, I might add, without smoke, and in the kitchen, not outside.Salads, and breakfasts, and even candy-all without a fire or smoke beyond what's generated by the kitchen stove.I actually trained to be a chef (family trust requirement: learn a trade) and can run circles around all kinds of people in the kitchen when I pay attention, anyway. Rita and I have always gotten a kick out of cooking together, from the very start-no one needs to stay out of the other's hair.

Barbecue, though? Brisket??? I've only just started to get that right. Most men don't have the patience, I think-I know I didn't. A good, tender barbecued brisket is tough. I can fake it in one of those roasting bags, and anyone can do one in the oven otherwise, but smoking it takes a lot of attention....

EDIT: and pot pies, and ratatouille, and ratatouille pie, and curries, and deserts, and chili, and dips, and ice cream, and pies, and cakes, and stir-fries, and fried chicken, and biscuits (no, not cookies, Irene, biscuits!) and cookies, and.....

 

[Cyriacus]

Ya see, that right there is a woman's prejudice. I can do pastries, and soups, and breads, and souffles (though, admittedly, not often) and casseroles, and Italian, and Japanese, and Korean, and Chinese,and Thai, and Indian, and Indonesian, and Greek-all, I might add, without smoke, and in the kitchen, not outside.Salads, and breakfasts, and even candy-all without a fire or smoke beyond what's generated by the kitchen stove.I actually trained to be a chef (family trust requirement: learn a trade) and can run circles around all kinds of people in the kitchen when I pay attention, anyway. Rita and I have always gotten a kick out of cooking together, from the very start-no one needs to stay out of the other's hair.

Barbecue, though? Brisket??? I've only just started to get that right. Most men don't have the patience, I think-I know I didn't. A good, tender barbecued brisket is tough. I can fake it in one of those roasting bags, and anyone can do one in the oven otherwise, but smoking it takes a lot of attention....

EDIT: and pot pies, and ratatouille, and ratatouille pie, and curries, and deserts, and chili, and dips, and ice cream, and pies, and cakes, and stir-fries, and fried chicken, and biscuits (no, not cookies, Irene, biscuits!) and cookies, and.....

...Cookie on Fire make Bad Cookie.

Cooking Tips, by Me!
Because Im Bored. Also, all Spelling Errors are deliberate.

Noodle on Fire make Good Noodle. Put Beef on Fire. Put Fire in Noodle. CHINESE! Or JAPANESE!
Put Water in Bucket. Put Bucket in Fire. Put Milk and Stock in Water. Fire make Soup. SOUP!
Put Dough on Fire. When Dough Harden, Bread. Yes. Totally.
Souffles are Coward Food! And not because I not know what a Souffle is!
Italyen. Buy Pasta Food. Put Pasta Food on Fire until Cook. Eat Italy.
Get Rice. Put Rice on Fire. When Rice Brown, add Hot Sauce Warmed by Fire. THAI!
Get Melon. Put Melon on Fire. Axe Kick Melon. KOREAN!
Indians and Indonestions, and Greeks, dont make Food.
Salad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5fhTYtTP_Y&feature=related Yes. YES.
Ice Cream also make better on Fire.
Dips Warm by Fire.
Chilli is kind of Fire.
Cakes are best destroyed by Fire. Cakes also cause some People to Die in a Fire. (And if you get that reference, it was all I could think of, alright.)
Curries and Deserts are one in the same.
Stir Fries are also Desert.
So is Chicken. Chicken is Fired, yes? Not Fried, silly.

Im out of Ideas.
Toodle Pip.

 

[Carol]

The men standing by a hot grill and the ladies staying in the air conditioning putting the salad together? I'm down with that, where do I sign up?

 

[elder999]

...Cookie on Fire make Bad Cookie.

Cooking Tips, by Me!
Because Im Bored. Also, all Spelling Errors are deliberate.

Noodle on Fire make Good Noodle. Put Beef on Fire. Put Fire in Noodle. CHINESE! Or JAPANESE!
Put Water in Bucket. Put Bucket in Fire. Put Milk and Stock in Water. Fire make Soup. SOUP!
Put Dough on Fire. When Dough Harden, Bread. Yes. Totally.
Souffles are Coward Food! And not because I not know what a Souffle is!
Italyen. Buy Pasta Food. Put Pasta Food on Fire until Cook. Eat Italy.
Get Rice. Put Rice on Fire. When Rice Brown, add Hot Sauce Warmed by Fire. THAI!
Get Melon. Put Melon on Fire. Axe Kick Melon. KOREAN!
Indians and Indonestions, and Greeks, dont make Food.
Salad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5fhTYtTP_Y&feature=related Yes. YES.
Ice Cream also make better on Fire.
Dips Warm by Fire.
Chilli is kind of Fire.
Cakes are best destroyed by Fire. Cakes also cause some People to Die in a Fire. (And if you get that reference, it was all I could think of, alright.)
Curries and Deserts are one in the same.
Stir Fries are also Desert.
So is Chicken. Chicken is Fired, yes? Not Fried, silly.

Im out of Ideas.
Toodle Pip.

.


Delightfully, though:lfao: :

 

[Cyriacus]

.


Delightfully, though:

*Saves Image To Desktop*
Two can Play at this Game!

HAPPY KITTEN!
http://mecete.deviantart.com/art/happy-faced-191411282?q=boost%3Apopular%20in%3Aphotography%20happy%20cat&qo=42
I cant Embed that Image, by the way. Otherwise I would have.
Its a Jolly Happy Kitten, though

 

[granfire]

Ya see, that right there is a woman's prejudice. I can do pastries, and soups, and breads, and souffles (though, admittedly, not often) and casseroles, and Italian, and Japanese, and Korean, and Chinese,and Thai, and Indian, and Indonesian, and Greek-all, I might add, without smoke, and in the kitchen, not outside.Salads, and breakfasts, and even candy-all without a fire or smoke beyond what's generated by the kitchen stove.I actually trained to be a chef (family trust requirement: learn a trade) and can run circles around all kinds of people in the kitchen when I pay attention, anyway. Rita and I have always gotten a kick out of cooking together, from the very start-no one needs to stay out of the other's hair.

Barbecue, though? Brisket??? I've only just started to get that right. Most men don't have the patience, I think-I know I didn't. A good, tender barbecued brisket is tough. I can fake it in one of those roasting bags, and anyone can do one in the oven otherwise, but smoking it takes a lot of attention....

EDIT: and pot pies, and ratatouille, and ratatouille pie, and curries, and deserts, and chili, and dips, and ice cream, and pies, and cakes, and stir-fries, and fried chicken, and biscuits (no, not cookies, Irene, biscuits!) and cookies, and.....

So you are saying you are a girly man?



<ducks and runs>

 

[elder999]

So you are saying you are a girly man?



<ducks and runs>

Hardly. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when they said the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, it's that they really meant a woman's....:lfao:

You really only need to watch this from 1:40......

[yt]aRDtjZTtKGw[/yt]

"Chefs do that." :lfao:

Real men cook.