Teaching Family and Issues Surrounding That

[Makalakumu]

Right now, I'm frustrated. I've had several sensei over the past tell me that you should not teach your own children or family because of the issues it can cause in the house and in the dojo. I know a lot of sensei who do it anyway and many are successful, but thus far, I haven't been.

I restarted regular karate classes recently, after a long period of martial play, and success has been mixed. Sometimes, the kids want to be there and sometimes they want to be running through the sprinkler, so class really isn't very productive. I know this is part and parcel with martial arts teaching and kids, yet I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time inspiring my own children to really WANT to learn this art.

I've had great success in the past with other children and I remember myself being so awestruck and inspired as a kid that I always wanted to be in class. I want THAT for my own children.

Maybe I'm just being to hard on myself and expecting things to happen too quickly, I don't know. So, here is my question, for those of you who teach your own kids and have found success, what do you do? How do you inspire them to want to practice your martial art with the same kind of intensity that you practice it? What's your secret?

 

[Carol]

Right now, I'm frustrated. I've had several sensei over the past tell me that you should not teach your own children or family because of the issues it can cause in the house and in the dojo. I know a lot of sensei who do it anyway and many are successful, but thus far, I haven't been.

I hope you don't measure your success as a teacher based on whether or not you can teach your own children?

I restarted regular karate classes recently, after a long period of martial play, and success has been mixed. Sometimes, the kids want to be there and sometimes they want to be running through the sprinkler, so class really isn't very productive.

Attsalotta mixed messages, is it not? MA is serious. MA is play and goof around. MA is serious again. Consistency breeds credibility.

I know this is part and parcel with martial arts teaching and kids, yet I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time inspiring my own children to really WANT to learn this art.

Maybe its just not their thing.

I've had great success in the past with other children and I remember myself being so awestruck and inspired as a kid that I always wanted to be in class. I want THAT for my own children.

Then let them discover it for whatever it is they are interested in. It may not be martial arts.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

You know I have had great success with my kid's. One of the things I have always done is explain to them that this is just what we do. (ie. meaning our family) My oldest is incredibly passionate about his training and my youngest well let's just say he may not be passionate yet but he is serious and loves to compete. It can be trying when they are really young but.... you have to persevere and make them really understand that in training you are not dad but instead the instructor and that they have to follow the program. Once that is established then you are good to go.

 

[Makalakumu]

You know I have had great success with my kid's. One of the things I have always done is explain to them that this is just what we do. (ie. meaning our family) My oldest is incredibly passionate about his training and my youngest well let's just say he may not be passionate yet but he is serious and loves to compete. It can be trying when they are really young but.... you have to persevere and make them really understand that in training you are not dad but instead the instructor and that they have to follow the program. Once that is established then you are good to go.

How often do you train together, Brian? Are you there primary teacher or do you go to a dojo near your house together as a family?

 

[Makalakumu]

I hope you don't measure your success as a teacher based on whether or not you can teach your own children?

Attsalotta mixed messages, is it not? MA is serious. MA is play and goof around. MA is serious again. Consistency breeds credibility.

Maybe its just not their thing.

Then let them discover it for whatever it is they are interested in. It may not be martial arts.

I'm just going to stick to it and see what develops. Previously, we played lots of games with various martial arts themes. Historically, this has been a way warrior cultures introduced their children into their martial arts. It's particularly prevalent among Polynesian cultures. The Maori, for example play games with ti sticks and poi balls, which is something I've taught my own children to use. They like that stuff! It's the transition that is killing me! Going from the informal to something more formal has been difficult!

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

How often do you train together, Brian? Are you there primary teacher or do you go to a dojo near your house together as a family?

They usually train around two times a week. When they were really young ages 2 to 7 it was all pretty much in a play fashion. Then around eight or so it became more serious. I am their primary instructor though my oldest has trained with other people at seminars. I am a really serious practitioner (mild understatement) so that seems to have rubbed off on them. Their instructor (ie me/dad) really does not put up with anything. Not with kid's, not with adults, etc. No drama as I do not have time for it. That no nonsense approach has really worked well with my kid's.

 

[Stac3y]

I started teaching my own kids a few months ago (they are in with a larger class), and it's going very well. Strangely, they seem to listen to me better at home now, as well. They view themselves as my helpers in the class to some extent, which is appropriate, as they are high-ranking students. I'm very proud of how they've stepped up and worked to be good examples to the lower belts. YMMV.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Right now, I'm frustrated. I've had several sensei over the past tell me that you should not teach your own children or family because of the issues it can cause in the house and in the dojo.

And yet the Chinese have been teaching their own kids for Thousands of years

I know a lot of sensei who do it anyway and many are successful, but thus far, I haven't been.

I restarted regular karate classes recently, after a long period of martial play, and success has been mixed. Sometimes, the kids want to be there and sometimes they want to be running through the sprinkler, so class really isn't very productive. I know this is part and parcel with martial arts teaching and kids, yet I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time inspiring my own children to really WANT to learn this art.

I've had great success in the past with other children and I remember myself being so awestruck and inspired as a kid that I always wanted to be in class. I want THAT for my own children.

Maybe I'm just being to hard on myself and expecting things to happen too quickly, I don't know. So, here is my question, for those of you who teach your own kids and have found success, what do you do? How do you inspire them to want to practice your martial art with the same kind of intensity that you practice it? What's your secret?

I don't teach my kids at this point, young kids really do not have the time or interest in learning a slow moving Taiji form. However I have watched the people that teach my youngest very closely and they start every single class with a bit of play time, kinda sorta, that is many cases is also teaching. They do a follow the leader kind of thing that is running (circles and zig zag), walking in different ways, hoping and jumping followed by stretching to see who can get the best stretch and congratulating the kids quite a lot. They also ask questions, like in a class room, and only pick kids that raise their hands. as well as teaching them to answer in specific ways (Yes sir/ma'am, no sire/ma'am). But on Saturdays they start with something that is kind of a free for all of dodge ball with very light balls and or soccer. They then get into the class and train stances, kicks, blocks, punches, etc. What I think is going on is getting enough of the energy kids have to a level where they will pay more attention so they can get into teaching the class. Classes also tend to be short, about 30 to 40 minutes.

The head instructor taught his kids and he was taught by his father (all Korean) and since his son and daughter appear to be the best in the school teaching his own kids does not seem to be a problem.

TO be honest of his adult students I am less impressed by those that are not his kids.

 

[Makalakumu]

Interesting that you bring up Tai Chi, Xue. My teacher's teacher wrote the following book and I've been thinking of picking it up and mining it for ideas.

http://www.amazon.com/Tai-Chi-Kids-Move-Animals/dp/1879181657

From what my tai chi teacher said, this book really connects tai chi to the younger generation well.