Story I

[thardey]

So in a sense you could say that you stopped hating your ex, and started hating the animosity between you two, and decided to fight it by actively forgiving her.

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

So in a sense you could say that you stopped hating your ex, and started hating the animosity between you two, and decided to fight it by actively forgiving her.

How obscurely convoluted, incredibly wrong and notably correct.

Maybe this WAS a koan.

 

[Live True]

And you have to be at the bottom of the correct mountain. Starting at the base of one mountain will never help you reach the top of another.[...]But can you hate a disease? Emotionally we have a fear and sadness about disease, but by our actions, in trying to eliminate it, aren't we showing hate for it? [...]I am quite full of hate, actually, now that I think of it. But God help me if I begin to aim that hate at people. Then I will become a part of the things I hate in this world.

Hmmm...I wouldn't characterize that as hate, I would say you despise these things and wish them elminated, but on a day to day basis, I would hope they don't take up a portion of each day. What you are describing is a very passive, although passionate, reaction to the destruction caused by these things. This emotion can creat positive change and motivation. It's angry and passionate, but it's not....destructive.

I think of hate as a more active, destructive, and time consuming emotion. It can eat you up and affect your other relationships and your life, much as Egg has stated in his explanation of the story's source.

Egg, my hat is off to you. Forgiveness and such a change in your reactions to another are very hard things to do. I had to do the same with my ex or become a horribly mistrustful and angry person as well. It was freeing to forgive the other person and move on.

Thank you for a wonderful story and some great discussion!

 

[thardey]

Hmmm...I wouldn't characterize that as hate, I would say you despise these things and wish them elminated, but on a day to day basis, I would hope they don't take up a portion of each day. What you are describing is a very passive, although passionate, reaction to the destruction caused by these things. This emotion can creat positive change and motivation. It's angry and passionate, but it's not....destructive.

To me, hate is somewhere between a feeling and an action, like love. Emotions are just a part of the motivation. Both hate and love are nothing unless they produce a response.

Therefore, if I dislike these things to the point where I actively attack them, some of them in my day-to-day life, then what about it isn't hate?

I think of hate as a more active, destructive, and time consuming emotion. It can eat you up and affect your other relationships and your life, much as Egg has stated in his explanation of the story's source.

I usually consider that "bitterness" it's more of an emotion. It will eat you up inside. It's closely related to anger. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." That is, don't let anger be part of your day-to-day life. When you get angry, deal with it, and drop it.

I'm not angry at Disease, that would be pointless, and a waste of energy. But I am hoping with the very core of all that is good in me that someday it will be eliminated. I hate it, and I hate the effect it has on people. If we have to die, let it be of old age, or something dignified.

If you can focus hate on the appropriate things, without needing to be fueled by anger and/or bitterness, then it can be an appropriate and useful counterpart to love.

Egg, my hat is off to you. Forgiveness and such a change in your reactions to another are very hard things to do. I had to do the same with my ex or become a horribly mistrustful and angry person as well. It was freeing to forgive the other person and move on.

Thank you for a wonderful story and some great discussion!

Same here.

 

[OnlyAnEgg]

It was meant to be a simple story; therefor, the concepts involved were simplistic. It was not really meant to be an analysis of love or hate nor top or bottom. I used those terms only as a guide to the disparity of emotions and location in circumstances. While I did not hate my ex (after all, she gave me some years of joy and two wonderful daughters) nor was I searching to regain her love; the difference in the two emotions and placement in relationships was paramount to the story.

I am pleased, astounded and honored by all the reponses to this post. MT has a beautifully insightful and intelligent membership. :asian:

I look forward to the next story.