Sparring the handicapped

[deadhand31]

Last Saturday, my school held its annual tournament. This is a tourney which stays within our chain only, and is meant to bring all our different branches together. This has always been a fun experience, and I have been able to share good times with many students from our other schools.

Anyhoo, on to the point of the thread. This year, the heavyweight sparring division consisted of 4 students, only one of them being from a school other than my own. One of the students, let's call him "Mike", was the man mentioned in this thread:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21486

While he has improved greatly in forms and breaking, he still lacks the adaptability required for sparring. When the bracketing was done, I was the person who would spar him. This kind of put me in a place I didn't want to be. I knew the guy who advanced to the next round was a tough fighter, and I didn't want to see Mike get creamed badly. I also didn't want to coddle him, but I didn't want to make him feel bad either. I figured I'd let him get some points on me, but still make him work for it. The match went well, he got some points, I got more, but I felt bad when I reflexively performed a wheel kick to his head.

As it turned out, even though he placed last in the division, he was happy about how he did. He liked that he tried, and he told me that he plans on trying harder for next year.

Was my plan of action the best? I sure hope so, but I'm mostly thankful, and amazed, that his spirit was not deterred from coming back to do it again.

 

[exile]

Deadhand---you did great with this guy, you should feel no self-recrimations at all. You gave this chap a serious challenge, one that was within his range of ability to respond to and gave him the pleasure of competition and the awareness that he actually could handle himself in the ring. And you may well have saved him from getting damaged by the other guy you mentioned, which is something that the fellow you sparred definitely did not need. You should feel nothing but good about yourself for the way you handled the situation.

 

[Eternal Beginner]

Sounds like you handled it beautifully.

My husband was in the same situation at a karate tournament once. He had to spar a gentleman that was recovering from a stroke, so his balance was quite poor. Everytime he would set up for a punch or kick he would wobble and/or almost fall over. Hubby did the same general thing as you did. He slowed it right down and tried to make it a good experience for both of them.

Like your experience, the gentleman was quite happy with his performance. His doctors told him there was a good chance he would never walk again un-aided, so to compete (even not at 100%) was a dream come true for him.

 

[The Kidd]

You did a great job, sometimes its not about the winning but about the learning or teaching, when you win it is gravy.

 

[matt.m]

Here's the deal....you did the right thing. I myself am handicapped. I won't spar, but I will do poomse obviously in competition. However, I won't take my leg braces off to spar. Nope, nata, no, no, no. Anyway, we the handicapped do not want to be coddled. The guy knew how it was going to go.

 

[searcher]

You did just fine. You did what needed to be done. If you did not beat him the next guy might have not been so forgiving. As for the wheel kick, it happens. You can't hold everything back. It would give him a false sense of security.

 

[Kacey]

You did fine. I have a couple of handicapped students myself (both adults), and they also compete in tournaments. One has Down's Syndrome, and the other has cerebral palsy; they both have cognitive delays. Do they win? No. Do their partners treat them with respect and allow them to try some things, earn some points, and lose gracefully? Yes - it is one of the things I like best about the people in my association. Running them into the ground would be easy; treating them respectfully is hard - but I see it happen all the time, and greatly appreciate those that take the time to do so. On behalf of the gentleman you fought, and handicapped students the world over, you have my respect and my thanks. :asian:

 

[IcemanSK]

Matt M. & I have a similar view on this. I have a mild case of cerbral palsy. I suppose that could put me in the catagory of having a disability. But I don't see it that way. Matt put it well, there's no need for pity. I think you handled this well, Deadhand.

Folks with disabilities want to be treated like everyone else. This guy was able to spar in a tournament. He expects that he will get hit & hit someone back. That's all anyone is guaranteed in sparring, really. I've worked a lot of folks who wanted to "take it easy" on me. They found that it wasn't such a good idea.:ultracool

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Matt M. & I have a similar view on this. I have a mild case of cerbral palsy. I suppose that could put me in the catagory of having a disability. But I don't see it that way. Matt put it well, there's no need for pity. I think you handled this well, Deadhand.

Folks with disabilities want to be treated like everyone else. This guy was able to spar in a tournament. He expects that he will get hit & hit someone back. That's all anyone is guaranteed in sparring, really. I've worked a lot of folks who wanted to "take it easy" on me. They found that it wasn't such a good idea.:ultracool

Good post, especially regarding everyone wanting to be treated like everybody else. That is the key. Treat them like everyone else and never, ever underestimate anybody.

 

[Kacey]

The thing to remember is that it is based on the needs/abilities of the students in question. For my two students, there is no way in hell they could win a fair fight; they'd get pounded into the ground; neither one has any power, they both have poor aim, and their balance is iffy - especially the one with CP. They compete because they want to be like everyone else - and, too, competition is a testing requirement - but I've only met one person who wanted to truly push the advantage and wipe the floor with one of them... before I could even get to that ring, the referee, the coach, and 2 of my other students who were watching had all jumped in to prevent it.

If you have some type of disability and can compete on the same level as any other student, then certainly - go for it! And if your opponent has some type of disability and can take it, do it! But if you know your opponent's skills are significantly weaker than yours, I see no reason to rub it in. Sorry if that wasn't clear earlier.

 

[matt.m]

The thing to remember is that it is based on the needs/abilities of the students in question.
If you have some type of disability and can compete on the same level as any other student, then certainly - go for it! And if your opponent has some type of disability and can take it, do it! But if you know your opponent's skills are significantly weaker than yours, I see no reason to rub it in. Sorry if that wasn't clear earlier.

Very well said Kacey. I know with others it is a damned if you do, damned if you don't. However, my friend Greg who is a purple belt said it best....."It is hard to spar you, because it is all about being evasive because of your back and legs we can't just rush in and murder you. It wouldn't be fair."

 

[IcemanSK]

The thing to remember is that it is based on the needs/abilities of the students in question. For my two students, there is no way in hell they could win a fair fight; they'd get pounded into the ground; neither one has any power, they both have poor aim, and their balance is iffy - especially the one with CP. They compete because they want to be like everyone else - and, too, competition is a testing requirement - but I've only met one person who wanted to truly push the advantage and wipe the floor with one of them... before I could even get to that ring, the referee, the coach, and 2 of my other students who were watching had all jumped in to prevent it.

If you have some type of disability and can compete on the same level as any other student, then certainly - go for it! And if your opponent has some type of disability and can take it, do it! But if you know your opponent's skills are significantly weaker than yours, I see no reason to rub it in. Sorry if that wasn't clear earlier.

That is very well said, Kacey. I think you were clear before. Instructors of folks w/ disabilities have to know & understand the limits of their students (heck, w/ non-disabled students as well). But the instructor needs to also set the bar high enough so that student is stretched & grows. (Again, not limited to students w/ disabilities). While there is a point at which the bar can be set too high: My natural inclination is to make sure that the bar is never set too low for a student just because of a disability.

I think we're on the same page, Kacey.

 

[bluemtn]

You handled it really well. No coddeling (sp?), and he wound up being happy with what he got in the end and was encouraged to do his best again for next year. He knew where he wasn't the strongest at, and knew where his strong points are as well. Everyone has their weak points, and they can work with what they're best with, even with sparring.

 

[searcher]

And you never know how hard it may make him work. The way you did things could help him reach to a new level.

 

[deadhand31]

Well, I'm glad to know that I handled it well. I've been beating myself up over it. He is one of the nicest and hardest working students in the school, and I don't want to do anything to break his spirit. In retrospect, I don't think that's something that can really be done.

 

[exile]

Well, I'm glad to know that I handled it well. I've been beating myself up over it. He is one of the nicest and hardest working students in the school, and I don't want to do anything to break his spirit. In retrospect, I don't think that's something that can really be done.

The thing is, deadhand, you have to recognize the inherent limits on how much anyone can do in a situation such as this. There is a hard, brutal fact of the matter, which consists of this gentleman's disability. And nothing you can do---or not do---can make that go away. So no matter what you or anyone does, the result is still not going to be 100% satisfactory, because the reality of the situation is not %100 satisfactory. Given all that, what's the best thing you could have done in the situation you found yourself in? So far as I can see, just what you did. You gave him as much of a challenge, probably, as he could handle, and allowed him to compete honorably and, within his limits, capably. No one else could have done more than that. Be certain in your mind that he felt good after your match. What more could you expect of yourself?