Sometimes You've Got To Embarrass Yourself

[PhotonGuy]

Well it certainly does not need to be. If it is then I think an adjustment of mindset is needed in order to have a healthier outlook about that. Because unless you acted like a complete jerk in the interview, the rejection is not an indictment of you as a person.

As I said, it is possible that every applicant was equally qualified and the employer would have liked to hire them all. But if there is only one opening, they have to choose one. It could have literally been a flip of a coin at that point.

As applicants, we do not know what is going on in the background of the hiring process. That is not shared with us. But there is no reason to assume that they looked down on you if you know you were qualified and you know you acted in a dignified manner in the interview.

I think you ought to take a different view of this.

It depends on how badly you want the job, rejection sucks but as to how much it sucks that directly depends on how badly you wanted whatever it is that you got rejected from.

You mention job interviews. When you apply to a job part of the process might involve an interview with some big CEO, somebody way up in the chain of command. No matter how well prepared you go in, there is always the chance you might embarrass yourself at the interview no matter how small. The only way to 100% guarantee you won't embarrass yourself at the interview is to not go to the interview, but then of course you won't get the job.

 

[Steve]

Embarrassment is a funny thing. Because it's an involuntary emotional response, it can be inherently illogical. But just because it can be irrational and illogical doesn't make it less... well, embarrassing.

As for the job thing, ego is certainly one issue. But I've seen folks who have been embarrassed at being passed over for promotions for many reasons. Often, this has more to do with who WAS selected than who wasn't. I supervised a former supervisor for a period of time. We had to get past that awkwardness initially. I have seen many situations where folks feel a lot of pressure to be "next in line" for a position, and when not selected, they are embarrassed.

But all of that said, I do appreciate the point of the OP which is that fear of embarrassment (or of failure) can be very limiting. I'm reminded of a scene from "We Bought a Zoo" regarding 20 seconds of insane courage can change your life.

 

[Flying Crane]

It depends on how badly you want the job, rejection sucks but as to how much it sucks that directly depends on how badly you wanted whatever it is that you got rejected from.

You mention job interviews. When you apply to a job part of the process might involve an interview with some big CEO, somebody way up in the chain of command. No matter how well prepared you go in, there is always the chance you might embarrass yourself at the interview no matter how small. The only way to 100% guarantee you won't embarrass yourself at the interview is to not go to the interview, but then of course you won't get the job.

Ok. You want to be embarrassed, then be embarrassed.

 

[Steve]

Ok. You want to be embarrassed, then be embarrassed.

Someone woke up cranky today. Maybe @PhotonGuy 's post is hitting a little close to home.

 

[Tames D]

This thread embarrasses me

 

[Tez3]

This thread embarrasses me

I'm embarrassed for the OP really. The assumption that everyone thinks like him so therefore he is correct in what he says is way off.

 

[PhotonGuy]

I'm embarrassed for the OP really. The assumption that everyone thinks like him so therefore he is correct in what he says is way off.

Now Im embarrassed.

 

[Tez3]

Now Im embarrassed.

No one has to be embarrassed, it's your choice.

 

[Martial D]

Sometimes you've got to embarrass yourself if you want to learn and progress since sometimes by embarrassing yourself, or at least taking the risk of doing so, is the only way to learn and progress.

I think this is what keeps a lot of people from joining a gym or club in the first place.

 

[Steve]

If I wore this to class, I'd be embarrassed.

 

[PhotonGuy]

No one has to be embarrassed, it's your choice.

Well the important thing is, I said what I had to say.

 

[isshinryuronin]

I agree that embarrassment usually results from low self esteem, but some things are just plain embarrassing for anyone: Giving a presentation and then noticing your fly is open, forgetting someone's name to whom you were just introduced, or walking into a glass door, for example.

The other category, concerning honest effort for a worthy cause, is not a place where embarrassment should arise. Whether it's working out at a gym or dojo, job interview, or asking someone out on a date; failure or not measuring up (perceived or actual) should not be something to be embarrassed about - as long as that failure is not the result of lack of preparation or some boneheaded move.

Failure is a reality of life. It happens. To not fail is to not be challenged. But as long as one does their best and strives to achieve, is should be a source of pride, not embarrassment, regardless of the result. Rocky lost that first fight with Apollo, but was that a failure, to go the distance with the champ? He gave it his all and Apollo did not prepare as he should have. Who should be more embarrassed? (I know Rocky is out of date - I was going to use an MMA champ, but couldn't think of one I could spell.)

Ego is the greatest obstacle.

 

[Buka]

If I wore this to class, I'd be embarrassed.

If I wore that to class I'd be awesome.

Well.....at least I'd have fun.

 

[Steve]

If I wore that to class I'd be awesome.

Well.....at least I'd have fun.

Yeah, but you're an old school american karate guy... you'd wear this and think it was cool:

 

[drop bear]

If I wore this to class, I'd be embarrassed.

So you are more of a no gi guy?

 

[Buka]

Yeah, but you're an old school american karate guy... you'd wear this and think it was cool:

Well, yeah! Hell, yeah!

When I first competed we wore black gis, because that's what my school wore, you didn't have a choice, but we we liked them.

But on the New England circuit, we were considered absolute heathens for wearing black gis. I know that sounds stupid, but that's the way it was back then. Couldn't buy a point if your life depended on it. And when you tried to, shall we say, emphasize your point....you were immediately DQ'd.

But we didn't complain, never got disrespectful, and man, sometimes that was difficult. But eventually we prevailed and were accepted. I think it helped that we were whoopin' the dog sheet out of them.

Anyway.....I wore that gi, Joe Lewis wore it winning the PKA championship, but it shrunk, so he gave it to me. I wore it representing my country.

Proudest gi I ever wore. But it even shrunk too small for me. So I gave it to one of the kids in the dojo.

Man, if that gi could talk...

 

[Steve]

Well, yeah! Hell, yeah!

When I first competed we wore black gis, because that's what my school wore, you didn't have a choice, but we we liked them.

But on the New England circuit, we were considered absolute heathens for wearing black gis. I know that sounds stupid, but that's the way it was back then. Couldn't buy a point if your life depended on it. And when you tried to, shall we say, emphasize your point....you were immediately DQ'd.

But we didn't complain, never got disrespectful, and man, sometimes that was difficult. But eventually we prevailed and were accepted. I think it helped that we were whoopin' the dog sheet out of them.

Anyway.....I wore that gi, Joe Lewis wore it winning the PKA championship, but it shrunk, so he gave it to me. I wore it representing my country.

View attachment 22816
Proudest gi I ever wore. But it even shrunk too small for me. So I gave it to one of the kids in the dojo.

View attachment 22817

Man, if that gi could talk...

I knew it!!!

 

[Buka]

I knew it!!!

Bwahahahaha!

 

[Tames D]

If I wore this to class, I'd be embarrassed.

 

[Tez3]

Well the important thing is, I said what I had to say.

As long as you realise it's just your opinion, it's not a fact.