Silliest challenge or verbal threat you've heard.

[Zoran]

Well this wasn't silly, but it was realy stupid.

I went into one of those little hotdog places and one of the workers behind the counter said, "So you remember me.".

I said, "Ah....no."

Dumb ***, "Don't pretend, I know you remember me."

Me, "Sorry, no I don't."

Dumb ***, "I know you do, you kicked me out of the bar 3 months ago."

Me, "Sigh...(this happens every so often), I still don't remeber, sorry."

Dumb ***, "I know you remeber me, how about I kick your *** (at this point he starts waving a cleaver around)."

Before I continue, this guys wife and young daughter are there sitting at a table. I knew this because two other people who work there told me as I "did" know them at least. During which time, they (the 2 worker) were trying to disuade him of his actions. The wife and child just looked a confused and a little scared.

To continue.
Me, "Listen, first, I don't remember you. Second, I was doing my J-O-B. And third, do you want to do this in front of your family?"

Dumb ***, "I think you are cuss cuss cuss and you cuss cuss etc.." At this point he comes out from behind the counter via a door. He starts walking towards me with cleaver in hand. He stops before he gets close enough to be a threat. Looks at me, and starts backing away as he's cussing me out.

I call him dumb because you should never make threats to people. His motive was to scare me, or make me feel helpless as he probably did when he was kicked out of the bar. The problem is, it didn't work. I didn't run, get mad, or shake in my boots. I just stood my ground.

I call him an *** because he did this in front of his young daughter and wife. I would call him more, but MT would just filter that word.

I got my food, which he didn't prepare, and left.

 

[Black Bear]

As part of our scenario training, we practice using verbal distractions on one another, racial taunts, etc. in order to desensitize one another. The idea is, if you've been called everything under the sun in the studio, then when it happens on the street, you won't bug out your eyes and go, like, "WHAT???"

Anyway, I was always really good at that stuff. I could build up a well-fleshed-out scenario in my head in a second. I could turn it way up or way down. I could give a wsd student a little jolt of discomfort or totally terrorize her.

One classic was once in a simulation where I asked a guy where he was from. He told me, and I said, "So that makes you--what? a nig*er or a sand-nig*er?" He was absolutely stunned that I would say that to him, especially because he was a pretty big guy. So, ah, he froze.

One of my quickest ones was going up to a (male) trainee and saying, "So I guess your long hair makes you a girl, right?" You could see the gears turning in his head, before I punched it.

The trainees quickly learn that a bit of distance, plus the hands up in a nonthreatening posture, plus a bit of prior practice with a shield, spear, or stop-hit, gives you all you need to intercept that sucker punch.

 

[Thesemindz]

Let see, silliest threat hmm?

Well, when I worked as a telemarketer for a while I called an old man once and asked him if he wanted to change his long distance service and he replied with, "Sonny, I hope your bowels rot." I was stunned. How do you wish a bowel rotting on a complete stranger? Now, I know, you all think I had it coming for being a telemarketer, but we're people too you know. Luckily I got out of that business, but not before a coworker was told by an old woman, "If I had a pair of scissors I'd reach through the phone and cut your tongue off." Some people.

I had a coworker threaten to kill me in my sleep.

One day in Kenpo class we were in a technique line, and we were supposed to begin each attack with a verbal threat of some kind. As the minutes passed the threats became more and more creative because no one wanted to say "You're going down," twenty times. People started commenting on each others hair, clothing, parents, children, cars, music etc. Then it was my turn and as I turned to get attacked, a middle aged man looked me square in the eye and with a nasty look on his face he said,


"I love you."

Then he threw his right step through punch.

I guess you always hurt the ones you love.

-Rob

 

[Tony]

Just remembered a couple more encounters! 1 while in the 6th form at school this guy tried to make me look bad in front of this girl I had a crush on! "Do you want to go outside?" thats what he said while we were all in a group talking! so I said " you don't really want me to kill you do you?" Silly thing to say but he just laughed at me but didn't take it any further! But with the benefit of hindsight is wished I had said something like " No thanks I don't want a bl%w j*b!"
I'm sure a lot of people have experience some of these idiots who are trying to start a fight say " come back here and say that!" "what can't you hear me from where I am?"

 

[Tony]

Well this wasn't silly, but it was realy stupid.

I went into one of those little hotdog places and one of the workers behind the counter said, "So you remember me.".

I said, "Ah....no."

Dumb ***, "Don't pretend, I know you remember me."

Me, "Sorry, no I don't."

Dumb ***, "I know you do, you kicked me out of the bar 3 months ago."

Me, "Sigh...(this happens every so often), I still don't remeber, sorry."

Dumb ***, "I know you remeber me, how about I kick your *** (at this point he starts waving a cleaver around)."

Before I continue, this guys wife and young daughter are there sitting at a table. I knew this because two other people who work there told me as I "did" know them at least. During which time, they (the 2 worker) were trying to disuade him of his actions. The wife and child just looked a confused and a little scared.

To continue.
Me, "Listen, first, I don't remember you. Second, I was doing my J-O-B. And third, do you want to do this in front of your family?"

Dumb ***, "I think you are cuss cuss cuss and you cuss cuss etc.." At this point he comes out from behind the counter via a door. He starts walking towards me with cleaver in hand. He stops before he gets close enough to be a threat. Looks at me, and starts backing away as he's cussing me out.

I call him dumb because you should never make threats to people. His motive was to scare me, or make me feel helpless as he probably did when he was kicked out of the bar. The problem is, it didn't work. I didn't run, get mad, or shake in my boots. I just stood my ground.

I call him an *** because he did this in front of his young daughter and wife. I would call him more, but MT would just filter that word.

I got my food, which he didn't prepare, and left.

Wow thats an interesting story! I remember something similar that happened to me! this idiot was be a loud mouth in front of his girlfriend! I was on my way to the gym minding my own business and he was trying to make himself look good to impress his girlfriend! He was talking about me so i could hear "oh he thinks he's so hard with all this Martial Arts that he does, blah blah blah"! I had never seen him before but he was just a little immature guy who hadn't hit puberty yet! I continued walking because I wanted to get to the gym! I remained calm and didn't rise to it! It just goes to show there are people who are really dumb enough to challenge you when it could so easily be avoided! And some people don't have the strength to walk away from this and will retaliate excessively leaving that person half dead!

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

This is an interesting thread; would hate to see it diminish for lack of use.

Silliest challenge? "You think you can take us all on?"

I was bouncing at a Newport Beach restaurant/night-club on the evening of Notre Dames win over USC some 12 to 15-ish years ago (can't remember exactly...crappy time memory). Offensive line with QB comes into the bar; some guys are flashing the customers, another one is asking girls out, then cussing them out when they say no (odd behavior that seems to repeat itself in bars often).

I tell the QB/Team Captain that they have to leave. He hits me with his challenge. Says I, "I'm not even going to pretend to be able to throw the offensive line of a college ball team out of here all by myself. I don't get paid enough. What I will do is call the Newport Beach Police Deaprtment, and let them cart you outta here in cuffs, and place you in a paddy-wagon with reporters all around. Won't that make a great headline tomorrow? Championship ball-team from atholic university arrested on victory night for lewd and lascivious conduct, drunk in public, trespassing, and disturbing the peace?"

They moved to the bar next door, and behaved themselves.

 

[Rich Parsons]

This is an interesting thread; would hate to see it diminish for lack of use.

Silliest challenge? "You think you can take us all on?"

I was bouncing at a Newport Beach restaurant/night-club on the evening of Notre Dames win over USC some 12 to 15-ish years ago (can't remember exactly...crappy time memory). Offensive line with QB comes into the bar; some guys are flashing the customers, another one is asking girls out, then cussing them out when they say no (odd behavior that seems to repeat itself in bars often).

I tell the QB/Team Captain that they have to leave. He hits me with his challenge. Says I, "I'm not even going to pretend to be able to throw the offensive line of a college ball team out of here all by myself. I don't get paid enough. What I will do is call the Newport Beach Police Deaprtment, and let them cart you outta here in cuffs, and place you in a paddy-wagon with reporters all around. Won't that make a great headline tomorrow? Championship ball-team from atholic university arrested on victory night for lewd and lascivious conduct, drunk in public, trespassing, and disturbing the peace?"

They moved to the bar next door, and behaved themselves.

I had a similiar story with the Central Michigan University Offensive Line. I wonder what it is about the offensive line and the QB's to act like this?

Only the team was not in uniform and I did not recognize them and they had come inside in pairs. I ended up throwing the QB out physically for hitting people and swinging at me. Only he was being violent so when he left, and hit the stairs he was not balanced and was screaming all the way down on his butt. They were carpeted for some wierd reason. I then turned to see the line coming after me. Well it was on. I got hit and didged and climbed under tables to get away, went down stairs helped the QB up. The others were fighting wiht anyone upstairs, and I waited for the police to arrive. No headlines, as the police thought it was real funny thay I had bounced the QB and the line had meet up with some country cement and construction boys and got their rear ends handed to them. Parents were called, even though they were over 18, and that was more than enough punishment.

Good story, I wish I had been able to get it down without the violence though.
:asian:

 

[Kevin Walker]

When I was in boot camp, my drill instructor told me he was going to kick me in the back of my forehead.

My drill instructor screamed that he would "jump down your throat dick first", which caught our attention.

 

[Kevin Walker]

I said very icily to a thug who threatened to beat me up that: "I would get out of jail before you get out of the hospital", and he walked away.

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Some of these are absolutely hysterical! (some of them, just weird or dumb*ss people).


Luckily, I haven't been in an altercation like that yet. Being a woman, I get more of the sexual innuendo, "Hey baby" bulls**t.

 

[Phoenix44]

Hmmm...people usually just threaten to sue me. ("Go ahead. Make sure to spell my name right: P-H-O-E-N-I-X.")

 

[Digital Decay]

I've noticed that most people start fights as a type of entertainment. Thereby, they aren't "totally committed" to what they are starting. It's almost like they're "play fighting" which is to your advantage.

When I was in high school during my sophomore year, my family got transferred from Ventura County CA to a rural section of North Dakota for two years. Being that I was from California, I was a good agreed upon target for alot of ignorant midwest children who had never been further than 50 miles from where they were born.

The first few times, I shrugged it off. But a few were persistant enough to physically stop me from leaving the building a few times. The first time, the other kid grabbed me and said, "What are you going to do?" and I said, "If you don't let go, I'm going to keep punching you in the head until the sharp cracking noise turns into a dull squishy thud." The principal had intervened at that point and he let go and backed away with the stereotypical "You're dead meat!" Funny thing was, he never said a word to me again of any type or interacted with me in anyway, I just ignored him and he ignored me.

The other incident that's noteworthy was when a friend of a friend told me that he was going to "kick my *** wide open" if I didn't stop using "big words" when I spoke (I kid you not). So I said, "maybe you will get a few good shots in, but after I knock you out, I'm going to take one of your eyes as a souvenier. Then for the rest of your life, you'll have to tell a lie about how you lost it just so people won't think you're an ***#*%@." All he said was, "Dude, that's disgusting!!" and walked away.

That story got around so much that I actually bought a bunch of glass eyes from a place that makes pieces for mannequins, etc. and put a bunch of them in jars on shelves and took a picture of them. After "accidently" giving pictures to other people, the story got that much bigger until everytime someone from the area would start **** with me, I'd say "That's an interesting shade of green, I don't have that one yet." Then it would dawn on them what I was referring to, and they'd realize that I was the guy with the eye collection they'd heard about and seen the picture." It was funny to watch the blood totally drain out of their face as they thought of ways to back out of this macho bulls$^#@ situation they'd started.

The most humorous part was that I was never in a fight the entire time I was in high school. Not one. Not even a "messin' around" kind of fight.

 

[Kevin Walker]

Hmmm...people usually just threaten to sue me. ("Go ahead. Make sure to spell my name right: P-H-O-E-N-I-X.")

Feenicks is actually a name?

 

[TwistofFat]

I come from a big family in Pittsburgh (last of 10 kids, 9 boys one girl). I was 10 riding my bike with my buddy when a car full of late teens tries to run into us on the road (just playing but it was close). My buddy (small for 10 year old!) filps them the bird...tires lock up and they back over his bike (he dropped it as he ran like hell toward my house).
I calmly picked up my bike (yeah right) and ran like he!!, but they caught me. As the driver hit me in the face he kept asking me if I knew his name. I did not say anything until I saw my brothers, my buddy and ...my Mom coming over the hell like the freaking Rat Patrol. I said something cool like" yeah, I know your name, dead meat!" just as my bros kicked his a$$ as I looked on. The worst part was as they took off they ran over my bike as well...but the look on his face was priceless "...dead meat".

 

[Gary Crawford]

LOL!! I like that one!

 

[Baoquan]

Bouncing one night, i walked a gentleman patron to the door (read: chicken winged the @rsehole) for lascivious behaviour, and after we get outside the pub and i let him go, he turns and points at my shirt (with the bar name/logo on it) and says;

"Take that shirt off and lets see how tough you are!!"

I turned to one of my co-workers and said, "Do these shirts give us super-powers?? I'm gonna go back inside and find out if i can see through women's clothes with my X-Ray vision."

 

[Chrono]

I was bouncing at a Newport Beach restaurant/night-club on the evening of Notre Dames win over USC some 12 to 15-ish years ago (can't remember exactly...crappy time memory).

Was this Univeristy of South Carolina or Univeristy of Southern California?

Well, I've always had to laugh at someone who says, "Want a piece of me?"

 

[kenpo tiger]

Rich, That's why it's called an "offensive" line.

Had some woman argue with me that she had seen a parking spot first. When I refused to move my car, she said "my husband is right over there." And -- ??

Some of these posts are hilarious. I must lead a very sheltered life . KT

 

[Enson]

those are all pretty funny. how about:

*your lucky i'm a christian or i'd bop you one
*i just broke a girl's scout's nose, imagine what i'd do to you
*i auta drive over there and kick your @$$, (me when i worked in montana) okay drive up from Alabama i'm in Montana.
*i'm going to kick your @$$... (me) don't do that it would hurt too much.
i used to be a telemarketer

peace

 

[TKD USA]

I come from a big family in Pittsburgh (last of 10 kids, 9 boys one girl). I was 10 riding my bike with my buddy when a car full of late teens tries to run into us on the road (just playing but it was close). My buddy (small for 10 year old!) filps them the bird...tires lock up and they back over his bike (he dropped it as he ran like hell toward my house).
I calmly picked up my bike (yeah right) and ran like he!!, but they caught me. As the driver hit me in the face he kept asking me if I knew his name. I did not say anything until I saw my brothers, my buddy and ...my Mom coming over the hell like the freaking Rat Patrol. I said something cool like" yeah, I know your name, dead meat!" just as my bros kicked his a$$ as I looked on. The worst part was as they took off they ran over my bike as well...but the look on his face was priceless "...dead meat".

That is so funny I would have been laughing my but off.