satans.barber
Master Black Belt
Well, although I saw this coming a mile off, my instructor has finally quit the martial arts for good tonight.
For the second time in 12 months I (and 2 others) were asked to either take over the running of the club immediately, or the club closes immediately. Only this time, it's not standing in for 12 months it's permanent.
That means I'm no longer a stand in, or a replacement, or some sort of temp I'm going to have to learn to be one of three proper instructors, Sensei Atkinson; though many people would say I'm not old enough or experienced enough to hold the position. And, I now officially have no instructor of my own, no-one to teach me or give me advice. Sadly, when he told me, I started ranting because it upset me. I started ranting about the state of the crappy 'association' we're meant to be in (which is a joke), and then I started ranting about parts of the style. He told me that it was Phil Cawood's style, I said it was Ed Parkers style and then he told me that Ed Parker's Kenpo is a lot slower and less effective that Kempo Ryu!? What? Where did that crap come from? Anyway I was getting angry by this point so I just shut up; let him think what he wants.
At times like this, it's pretty easy to give up. Along with all the other crap going on in my life now I've got this to deal with. It'd be easy to be selfish and say OK, I can't cope with this, close it and have done with it I don't need hte pressure, but I aren't. It isn't just me, there's three of us, but with two shift workers with families to look after as well as full time jobs, I feel like the onus is still on me a bit. I don't want to be selfish, I have 20 odd students to consider as well as the spread of Kenpo in Britain, not just me. My father is a selfish, self-centred bastard and I'm trying as hard as I can not to turn into him. So, perseveering time.
I don't really believe in karma but if I did hopefully this means something nice will happen to me in the future? You never know...
:asian:
Ian.
For the second time in 12 months I (and 2 others) were asked to either take over the running of the club immediately, or the club closes immediately. Only this time, it's not standing in for 12 months it's permanent.
That means I'm no longer a stand in, or a replacement, or some sort of temp I'm going to have to learn to be one of three proper instructors, Sensei Atkinson; though many people would say I'm not old enough or experienced enough to hold the position. And, I now officially have no instructor of my own, no-one to teach me or give me advice. Sadly, when he told me, I started ranting because it upset me. I started ranting about the state of the crappy 'association' we're meant to be in (which is a joke), and then I started ranting about parts of the style. He told me that it was Phil Cawood's style, I said it was Ed Parkers style and then he told me that Ed Parker's Kenpo is a lot slower and less effective that Kempo Ryu!? What? Where did that crap come from? Anyway I was getting angry by this point so I just shut up; let him think what he wants.
At times like this, it's pretty easy to give up. Along with all the other crap going on in my life now I've got this to deal with. It'd be easy to be selfish and say OK, I can't cope with this, close it and have done with it I don't need hte pressure, but I aren't. It isn't just me, there's three of us, but with two shift workers with families to look after as well as full time jobs, I feel like the onus is still on me a bit. I don't want to be selfish, I have 20 odd students to consider as well as the spread of Kenpo in Britain, not just me. My father is a selfish, self-centred bastard and I'm trying as hard as I can not to turn into him. So, perseveering time.
I don't really believe in karma but if I did hopefully this means something nice will happen to me in the future? You never know...
:asian:
Ian.