I think kids can, and should, get over the panic reaction. They need to maintain as much composure as their maturity level will allow should they be assaulted on the street. The more they are introduced to the feeling of contact the less likely it will overwhelm them.
However, it is clearly a matter of degree. Locking a choke down on a kid is not necessary. At that age they already feel powerless against the adult. It is better to allow them to acclimate slowly; slower than we expect adults to.
I would start by working on simple body contact. Let them realize that someone does not hurt me simply by grabbing my collar. Many ppl are already panicking at this point but they shouldn't.
The grab isn't the problem, it's the attack that comes right behind it. And, with a small amount of experience, we welcome the grab because it gives us a handle to his body and a sense of his movements.
From there I would work on simple escapes, not locks. Show them how to turn out of a wrist grab or apply simple thumb pressure against a grab to the collar. Show them how body movement, turning to the angle, can both protect the body and set up for escape.
As we move into actual locks, again, they should not be fully locked only drawn into position. Reinforce a technique over and over. Although variety in the arsenal is preferable, at this age they will initiate a move better by repetition.
My goals with children are primarily to reduce the panic reaction of body contact, instill the idea of escape, and to reinforce a small but solid arsenal of techniques.
