real or fake

[hardheadjarhead]

Hey...John Wayne had his moments.

The fight in "The Quiet Man" was a classic. I loved that.

Then there's that scene where he kicked a guy in the chops in "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence".

Then there was that sucker punch he whacked Bruce Dern with in "The Cowboys."




Steve

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Originally posted by hardheadjarhead
Hey...John Wayne had his moments.

The fight in "The Quiet Man" was a classic. I loved that.

Then there's that scene where he kicked a guy in the chops in "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence".

Then there was that sucker punch he whacked Bruce Dern with in "The Cowboys."




Steve

Or when he backhanded George Kennedy across the face with the pick handle in "The Sons of Katie Elder".

 

[KenpoTess]

Gee I'm totally disallusioned now.. I thought everyone in movies were some superpower.. now my illusions are dashed *snickers*

 

[hardheadjarhead]

Wait a minute, Tess...what are you saying? Are you saying that these movie fights aren't REAL? That John Wayne choreographed his fights?

Oh, and I suppose WWF is FAKE, then?

The next thing you're going to tell me is that the bottles the bad guys would hit the Duke with were made out of specially spun sugar or something.

Yeah, right.



Steve

 

[KenpoTess]

ok Steve .. I'm changing my mind.. cuz that's my perogative et al *chortles*
Hey Jackie Chan does his own stunts.. so it's all good

 

[rmcrobertson]

I agree about, "They Live." Yikes. And "Ghosts of Mars," is nearly as bad, especially if you listen to Henstridge talking about getting the crap kicked out of her. That Jeff Imada...

However, a recent episode of, "Angel," featured Angel and Spike beating the living hell out of each other in pretty-nearly-as-nasty a fashion for about twenty minutes...and I gotta catch up with the episode with the demon-fighting luchadores.

 

[hardheadjarhead]

ok Steve .. I'm changing my mind..

Thank goodness. Thou art redeemed.

For a minute there I was worried you'd get on Santa's naughty list.

On that note...why hasn't there ever been a "Kung Fu Santa" film?


Steve

 

[psi_radar]

On that note...why hasn't there ever been a "Kung Fu Santa" film?

I'm gonna pitch that treatment if you don't. Sounds like a sure moneymaker Actually, I'm only half-joking.

 

[KenpoTess]

Originally posted by hardheadjarhead
Thank goodness. Thou art redeemed.

For a minute there I was worried you'd get on Santa's naughty list.

On that note...why hasn't there ever been a "Kung Fu Santa" film?


Steve

*wipes the sweat from my brow... whew.. that was a close one *

Gee Santa Kung Fu... *shudders at the visual*

 

[hardheadjarhead]

wipes the sweat from my brow... whew.. that was a close one

I was THIS close to calling the Commandant of the Marine Corps and telling him of your heresy. You've recanted. Thou art saved. Flights of Angels shall not descend on thy abode with GPS Guided Bomb Units.

One must never trifle with the image of The Duke.

Gee Santa Kung Fu... *shudders at the visual*

I envision this blurb on the back of the video (as if it would EVER make it to theaters):

When a ragtag group of bikers led by Snake (Stikequest IV's Rory Dellacqua) descend on the little town of Pleasantville, all Hell breaks loose. Only ONE MAN CAN STOP THEM. He's Kung Fu Santa (Ninja Revenge III and !V' and Thunder Fist's Berk Bedstead). With the help of the beautiful Bethany (Crimes of Passion , Talk Dirty to Me IX's Tonda Willing), Santa sets out to help the nice and kick some naughty butt! Its non-stop Christmas action like you've never seen before!

"Heart pounding, rip-roaring suspense!"
-WMAC T.V., Gauley Bridge, West Virginia

"Explosive action packed drama..."
-Rex Weidenbenner, Honcho magazine

"I was on the edge of my seat the whole time...."
-Aaron Tripp, Macon County Daily Telegraph, Simpson, Georgia.

 

[psi_radar]

I see Jackie Chan's next buddy vehicle.

I mean, think of all the visual sight gag material. Santa scaling a wall. Jackie/Santa getting dragged by a team of reindeer through snowbanks "oh no please nice reindeer stop now please. Stop Donner, noooo!" Jackie/santa working with buddy/dry humor straight guy Luke Wilson (hasn't used him yet), undercover cop, to foil a smuggling ring that stuffs plastic candy canes with black tar heroin.

"Laughs and action!"

--Tim Jacobs, The Gardners Chronicle

"Non-stop Kung fu action! Luke Wilson hasn't been this funny since "Old School!"

--Zimmer Snowden, The Ogden Witness

I'm telling you, it's gold.

 

[Jmh7331]

Have you ever gone back and watched fight scenes that you saw BEFORE you started MA's training? A lot of the stuff you thought was awesome now looks cheesy. Some of it is still awesome though! - I like Jet Li's old stuff.

 

[Seig]

Please! Everyone knows Santa does Kenpo........

 

[MartialArtsChic]

Originally posted by Seig
Please! Everyone knows Santa does Kenpo........

NOT!! Santa does Combat Hapkido. He told me.

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Seig's right! Santa does practice Kenpo. You want proof?
1. Santa sports the famous "Kenpo Spread" so many of us have developed over the years.
2. Santa requires quick Kenpo hands in order to pass out presents. Doesn't need quick feet- the reindeer do most of the legwork.
3. Santa's used to working with lists of names. Self defense techs are no problem for him.
4. He's on lots of videos.
5. In malls all over the country, there are people claiming to be the "real" Santa.

Sorry, MartialArtsChic. The Clausmeister was just funnin' you. You know what a jolly old elf he can be. He's Kenpo through and through.

 

[hardheadjarhead]

A very strong argument for Santa doing Kenpo...however, I think he cross trains.

He has his own weapons style, derived from Kali, called "Twin Candy Canes of Death."

A low attack called "Grabbing Twin Chestnuts and Throwing into Open Fire." Another groin attack is called "Jingling The Bells."

A face shot called "Jack Frost Ripping Off Your Nose."

A Progressive Indirect Attack called "Over the River and Through The Woods."

A fast percussive method (clearly taken from Kenpo) called "Our Finest Gifts We Bring, Pah Rumpa Pum Pum".

It really would make a great movie with Jackie Chan.



Steve