Rape, Cult Worship, Integrity and an open letter to martial artists from Ryan Hall
- Thread starter Steve
- Start date
ballen0351
Sr. Grandmaster
I think thats the worst part of the story is they were her traing partners. someone committing a crime that just happens to study BJJ is o big deal but to do that to someone that you trusted trained with and were kinda friends with makes it sick. Trainging BJJ maybe more then any other art you put a ton of trust into your partners to let go when you tap or not to over extend the arm bar in traing ect. to take advantage of that trust is pretty sick
As a side note Im always so amazed at how drunk people allow themselves to get in public. If your at a bar you should NEVER get so drunk you cant take care of yourself. If found people passed out in back ally ways, park benches, ect. men and woman your just asking for trouble.......
ballen0351
Sr. Grandmaster
LEO there is no background checks to join a dojo. Also Martial artists are not trusted to take peoples freedom away.
OP
OP
Steve
Mostly Harmless
I would hold the LEO to a higher moral standard. Although I'll say that my default position for martial artists is that I believe most are little better than snake oil salesmen.
OP
OP
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Terrific point. Also, grappling in general is close quarters. One of the hardest things, I've been told, for women in BJJ is to get over the personal space issues, and that takes trust.
lklawson
Grandmaster
Or Kano. Or Ueshiba. Or Marrazzo. Or [fill in the blank]
I'm reminded of a book for children: "Everyone Poops"
If you hang around in MA long enough, you'll see these things happen in ever org. I also do Judo. We've had our share of skeletons and disgraces. I do WMA. We've got our share of lunatics and jerks.
Everyone poops.
We all remember the Milgram experiement and the Standford Prison experiment (and some others too).
Everyone poops.
Peace favor your sword,
Kirk
Maybe when I was younger, I would have said both shock me, but as I've grown and experienced more, the idealized vision of a role has been dissembled. We're all just humans, with our virtues and flaws, trying to find happiness in a little corner of this space rock.
granfire
Sr. Grandmaster
It starts with 'Bushido' the code of conduct of the warrior. With the rules of chivalry of the knight.
But of course: The necessity to implement rules spells out that the reality is vastly different.
Tgace
Grandmaster
Bushido? Most westerners have a comic book grasp on what Bushido is/was. I wrote a bit about Bushido here a few years back.
http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-23844.html
Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2
OP
OP
Steve
Mostly Harmless
Interesting thread. I laughed out loud when I read the post by rrouselot, who said that he's not a Christian, but he still follows 90% of the 10 Commandments. I immediately wondered which commandment he didn't follow.
Tgace
Grandmaster
Why does everybody (in a hyperbole sense) aspire to follow Bushido? What about our own western "ways"?
http://tgace.com/2012/02/20/the-way-of-george-washington/
http://tgace.com/2012/02/20/the-way-of-george-washington/
lklawson
Grandmaster
Not this old Bowie, Hawk, & Fist dude. I realized earlier than most (apparently) that Bushido wasn't all it is portrayed as in pop culture and that I really doubt I'd enjoy living in modern Japan, never mind Feudal Japan.
I'm rather partial to 19th Century's "Gentlemanly Code" though I do take exception to the propensity to Dueling that some had. I prefer a round of Fisticuffs to sate honor.
Peace favor your sword,
Kirk
ballen0351
Sr. Grandmaster
#1* *
Official Lloyd Irvin Statement
Luca Atalla
January 22, 2013
Leave a comment!
An Open Letter From Lloyd Irvin
Regarding The Reported Events Of New Years Eve 2012 &
The Ensuing Conversation About Himself & His Team
During The First Half Of January 2013
I first want to apologize.
I want to apologize
to my mother,
to my father,
to my wife
and
to my son for my silence.
The public taunting & harassing phone calls you have received
are undeserved and my recent silence is partly to blame.
I have in fact made statements in the local news
but those statements have not reached everyone
in our BJJ & MMA family and this is the reason my silence ends todayĀ
I want to apologize to every one of my friends, family and supporters who have suffered threats and degradation in my silence.
I apologize to my team and to everyone who has supported me in these last few weeks. It has been my family and your letters, phone calls, emails and texts have kept me going.
My ongoing support of my student who has suffered immeasurably, has occupied much of my thoughts and time in these past few weeks. And as we have unwaveringly shown herĀ her team, my family and I are there for her in every way.
She and I have been in consistent contact and she has been back in the gym with us again.
Her strength and resolve in the face of what has happened is truly one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.
I have shared with her my feelings on the matter and both of us are focused and committed to supporting her full recovery and violence prevention for ALL women going forward Ā IĀll speak to you more about that later in this letter.
One of my biggest priorities in these past couple of weeks has been to express to her my sincere and deepest apology. And that too is what this letter is about.
I want to publicly apologize to her for me not knowing, not sensing, and not having the awareness to know that this was even possible.
My wife keeps saying I couldnĀt have known,
my mom says I couldnĀt have known.
Everyone IĀve confided in said I couldnĀt have known,
but that doesnĀt change my wishing I could have.
They keep saying the same thing over and overĀ
any reasonable person would understand that you couldnĀt have known.
And that may be true but while thatĀs a convenient position to take,
the truth is I didnĀt know and I wish I had.
I will go to my grave wishing someone ELSE from my team
would have been there for her that night.
My counselors will have to deal with any fallout from this letter, as they have advised against making this statement but I simply cannot let my friends and family be left to hang in the breeze like this anymore.
I also want to publicly apologize to my team.
Young men and women I love with all my heart and soul.
I wish for YOU that I could have foreseen this and made new years eve not happen.
Please know that no matter what is said about meĀ
you have been and remain the most honorable, supportive & special people I have ever knownĀ IĀm proud to have you represent my school and wear our colors.
I promise you that I will do everything in my power to clear the air so you may have free passage to attain the goals weĀve promised each other weĀd attain together.
That all being said, in answer to the questionĀ
ĀWhy have I been silent on this?Ā
To put it simply, my focus has been on my teamĀ
most of all, I have at my school a dear friend, student & team member
whoĀs had an unimaginably horrible experience and
my only desire is to care for, support and help her.
I have promised her that I will do everything in my power to avoid this happening ever again within the influence of my organization/team.
It should be clearly and simply notedĀ
I nor anyone else on my current team or staff had ANYTHING at all to do with what is reported to have happened New Years Eve.
It has been reported that a video (as of the time I am releasing this letter, I have not seen the video nor has the case been resolved) that was described in the recent court documents shows that this was a deplorable and disgraceful act committed by two individuals who acted OUTSIDE the code of honor of our team, NOT within it.
As for the accusations that I am ĀfosteringĀ some sort of environment that makes people do horrific thingsĀ
One of the accused had been with me for barely a month and the other for a total time of barely seven monthsĀ
Anyone who feels that there is some sort of subversive environment being taught and encouraged on our team should realize the level of insult and disrespect they are directing not towards me but the truly honorable athletes and human beings that make up our schoolĀ both competitors and non-competitors alike.
I want to repeat,
my singular concern and effort right now (and much of the reason why I have not spoken to date) is caring for and supporting my teammate and friend who is recovering
In addition my focus is actively engaging as many people and resources as possible to understand more about how these things happen and what if anything we can do to directly impact these situations before they ever happen.
I donĀt know much about what, how or why new years eve happenedĀ
I wish I did and I think it unwise to pressure her about all of these details
at this point as sheĀs got enough to deal with.
Certainly as the trial progresses we will all learn more.
All I can say is I feel sadness for the depraved and misguided individuals who would suggest that this is part of what we teach.
ItĀs an insult to the young women and men on my team who have never behaved in any way other than exemplary. Especially the young woman who most deserves our respect and support.
This young woman who needs my support, my teamĀs support and your support should be the ONLY thing we are talking about, thinking about & praying about right now but unfortunately as you know I have become a significant portion of this discussion for something that happened in 1989.
From this point forward I anticipate that
anything I say will be ripped apart and shredded by those who either
have an axe to grind,
arenĀt focused on prevention of violence/rape against women or
even may simply not care about the truth.
I donĀt expect ANYTHING less.
But its simply unfair to this truly remarkable woman and unfair to the rest of my supporters and team to not tell my side of this story.
The TRUE side of this story.
For those of you who hate me or who have judged meĀ
what IĀm about to say is not for you.
You have passed your judgment and
I donĀt expect to be able to undo that but
The truth is that nobody knows much of the real story of
new years eve 2012 nor the incident of 1989 at all.
This letter is simply for those who have believed in me or at the very least
reserved judgment until having more knowledge of the situation.
For those who have and continue to support me this is also so that
you know your belief in me was not and is not misplaced.
I also want to add that IĀm writing this letter as though I was writing a letter to my son.
The one person I MOST want to understand my position and gain the wisdom I didnĀt have.
What I am about to share with you IS an eyewitness account of what REALLY happened 23 years ago.
IĀm not going to give you the sugar coated version some have told me to give IĀm simply going to tell you the truth, the same truth I told 23 years ago
So for startersĀ
I was once 20 years old
I did things 20 year olds doĀ
drank too much,
partied too much,
etcĀ
Probably not unlike many 20 year olds,
I made more than my share of dumb choices.
I hadnĀt found martial arts yet.
(I was 3 when I took my first martial arts class
but I didnĀt make it the cornerstone of my life until 1996
at that time I still hadnĀt learned how to be a leader)
IĀm not saying this to excuse my choices and decisions,
as thatĀs simply not possible.
I am saying my life and my foundation was different as an uncertain 20 year old
than it is now as a father, husband and mentor at 43.
Recently some people have decided to believe things about me and
the 1989 incident that are absolutely positively untrueĀ .
and this is what IĀd like to speak to nextĀ
I cannot control what you believe nor will I try.
I can only tell the truth.
I told the truth 23 years ago
to my mother
to my father and
under oath in a court of law
and IĀm telling the truth today.
IĀm telling you the same thing I told the jury
and the truth that is STILL on record.
The facts are the facts and glossing over the fact that
I did NOT rape nor have sex with ANYONE involved in the 1989 incident
cannot and should not be brushed under the carpet.
I told the 100% unadulterated truth,
just as IĀm sharing with you right now.
I did NOT Āget off on a technicalityĀ as some want to say.
Please understandĀ
Before my trial in 1989 I was offered a plea bargain for Ālesser timeĀĀ
the prosecutors told my father point blankĀ
ĀMr. Irvin we are going to give your son
a lesser penalty if he admits
he is a rapist and if he doesnĀt
we will lock him up and put him away for a very long time.Ā
I talked to my mom and my dad.
I was a kid.
I didnĀt know what to do.
Terrified is the only word that comes close.
IĀve never seen my dad cry in my entire life not before and not sinceĀ
but I remember his breath on my face and his tears in his eyesĀ
ĀSon, are you guilty of rape?Ā
Just the words coming flatly from your fatherĀs mouth Ā
eye to eye
I still tremble today just remembering it.
I said Āno, no dad I didnĀt rape her, I didnĀt.Ā
And with that he saidĀ
Āthen you will not say you did.Ā
And so like my father taught me from the first time I could walk,
I went and told the truth and as a resultĀ .
I was not convicted. I was innocent.
ItĀs the SAME truth I am sharing with you todayĀ
It will be the same thing I will eventually tell my son.
I can only hope that you,
my BJJ and MMA brothers and sisters,
judge me based on this truth of what actually happened 23 years ago.
Not what some want to presume, guess or assume happened.
I donĀt know that this is necessary and my actions and behavior as well as the actions and behavior of ALL but two of my shortest tenured students should demonstrate thisĀ
But just in case it is necessary I want everyone reading this to know without ANY uncertainty what so everĀ
I am 100% against rape, attempted rape or any other form of violence against women. I donĀt support it, donĀt condone it and donĀt enable an environment that would ever have anything to do with it.
Part of me wants to take you point by point bit by bit over the hundreds of hours of testimony and reams of media coverage to demonstrate how little has actually been revealed to date about the night of the incident, actual testimony and the trial.
But revisiting & rehashing every detail from the case 23 years ago would be nothing but selfish on my part (especially a case whose conclusion found me innocent of all charges).
I feel doing that does nothing productive for the BJJ and MMA community I care so much about, nothing productive for the men and women of my team and most of all nothing productive for healing needed for the woman my total focus and support is on right now.
The next most common question I hear
people asking is multiple forms ofĀ ĀWhat about now?Ā
Would I do things differently?
Have I done things differently?
Would I make different choices?
Have I made different choices?
Does this alter how I counsel my son?
Has any of this effected how I counsel my team members in efforts to help them choose the right path?
Absolutely YES to all of it.
I canĀt change whatĀs happened.
I wish I was wiser then.
I have been and AM changing whatĀs happened every moment since.
Especially for these last 16 years Ā
Ā and as part of that continued changing
will be my deep and sincere
commitment to the woman who needs our support most right now
and my promise to spend
the rest of my days doing what I can to
prevent any woman from ever
experiencing anything even remotely similar.
People are often quick to say Āactions speak louder than wordsĀĀ
and in this case I have 16 years of publicly visible
actions as a martial artist, as a teacher, a coach,
a husband, a father, a mentor and an advocateĀ
and in the end while my actions donĀt ERASE the past,
those actions DO demonstrate the DIFFERENCE between
the man writing this statement and
the boy who failed to live up to the standards his mother and father set for him.
Lastly.
I have been posed with two most common questions over these last few weeks.
1) ĀWhy have I hidden this all this time?Ā
Well to be frankĀ
please ask yourself to remember the most embarrassing and frightening moment of your entire life and then ask yourself exactly where is it appropriate in EVERY relationship you engage in to bring up that moment/circumstance for the rest of your life.
My wife has known about 1989 since we first met.
My closest friends have known for years.
Even some of my enemies have known.
Nothing about this has been hidden.
Which leads to the second questionĀ
2) Why did I buy and put up the website url that I purchased and put rape prevention seminar information on it shortly after all the news broke regarding New Years Eve?
For this I can do nothing other than apologize 100%.
I was wrong.
The timing was horrible and
I completely dropped the ball.
The long and short of it was thisĀ
The reason I purchased the url was singular.
I didnĀt like the tone and tenor of things online
(but still felt I could not speak publicly about anything)
and I simply didnĀt want someone else in control of
the name my Son and I share in association with
the current or 1989 situation.
Beyond that my intention was honorable
but the execution and timing were awful
As everyone can see,
the moment I realized this,, it was taken downĀ
I have been an ADVOCATE for women for all my life in the martial arts.
The martial arts have been my entire life since 1996
when I finally grew up enough for it to stop being a hobby and
it became my lifeĀs foundation.
Anyone who knows me KNOWS this to be 100% TRUE.
And since being told about New Years Eve
my resolve and commitment to doing MORE than I EVER have before
in this area of womenĀs advocacy against violence has grown RADICALLY.
Bottom line is I am 100% guilty of poor timing and taste
when it comes to the url and what was posted.
I spoke to the woman involved new years eve
about this and told her my sincere intentionsĀ
I vow to absolutely make rape & violence against women prevention an
even more major cornerstone of my future efforts.
Understand that my rape-prevention program has ALWAYS been completely free,
its not a marketing gimmick as some accusers have said.
I didnĀt realize it was possible but
I promise you that my sensitivity to rape & violence against women prevention
has now been made stronger than ever before.
If there is any good that can come of all of this
itĀs the fact that we are all talking more about rape & violence prevention against women, EDUCATION OF MEN and how to create environments and relationships that keep violence from being used off the mat.
If you believe what IĀve shared here,
I thank you for your support and I apologize for taking so long to speak out.
If you donĀt believe me,
all I ask is that you spare my wife, my mom, my dad and my son any venom you have towards me.
In closing,
I want to directly and specifically speak to my brothers and sisters in the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu community. I am sorry, truly sorry for the shadow this casts over our great art, sport and lifestyle that we lead.
Many people have their opinions and say what they will about my team and my school and my approach to things.
But one thing nobody can say is that I donĀt have a deep passion and commitment to and for our art, sport and our community.
And its with that passion and commitment that I promise every one of you with all my heart and soul that while I would not and did not commit nor encourage nor enable anything that would ever hurt, harm or violate one of my own friends and team members.
I will move heaven and earth to understand what happened and why it happened. And should I discover ANYTHING that can be done to prevent new years eve from happening ever again I promise with the tenacity and commitment I have become known for, I will make any and all necessary changes.
I will spend every waking moment finding ways to make sure everyday from this day forward Team Lloyd Irvin brings enough light back to our community to drown out the darkness of these last few weeks.
On this you have my word.
Lastly, If you really want to know what MY philosophy about my team, my school, my responsibilities as a martial arts instructor and the martial arts REALLY isĀ
If you want to know whatĀs happening
to Āthe water and the fish in the bowlĀĀ
watch this videoĀ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTxAjN1XSso&feature=youtu.be
I AGREE 100% with their thoughts on what I face and every instructor faces going forward when it comes to what we want for our students and what our responsibilities are to our students, our art, our sport and our community.
During the video at 28:26 he says
Āthis has to be a wake up callĀĀ
heĀs rightĀ it doesĀ and it isĀ
and I promise you
I will make things better for us all or die trying.
My sincere thanks to both of these men for making this video
and the honor they bring to our BJJ family.
I sincerely thank you for your time and your attention,
Lloyd Irvin Jr.
Official Lloyd Irvin Statement
Luca Atalla
January 22, 2013
Leave a comment!
An Open Letter From Lloyd Irvin
Regarding The Reported Events Of New Years Eve 2012 &
The Ensuing Conversation About Himself & His Team
During The First Half Of January 2013
I first want to apologize.
I want to apologize
to my mother,
to my father,
to my wife
and
to my son for my silence.
The public taunting & harassing phone calls you have received
are undeserved and my recent silence is partly to blame.
I have in fact made statements in the local news
but those statements have not reached everyone
in our BJJ & MMA family and this is the reason my silence ends todayĀ
I want to apologize to every one of my friends, family and supporters who have suffered threats and degradation in my silence.
I apologize to my team and to everyone who has supported me in these last few weeks. It has been my family and your letters, phone calls, emails and texts have kept me going.
My ongoing support of my student who has suffered immeasurably, has occupied much of my thoughts and time in these past few weeks. And as we have unwaveringly shown herĀ her team, my family and I are there for her in every way.
She and I have been in consistent contact and she has been back in the gym with us again.
Her strength and resolve in the face of what has happened is truly one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.
I have shared with her my feelings on the matter and both of us are focused and committed to supporting her full recovery and violence prevention for ALL women going forward Ā IĀll speak to you more about that later in this letter.
One of my biggest priorities in these past couple of weeks has been to express to her my sincere and deepest apology. And that too is what this letter is about.
I want to publicly apologize to her for me not knowing, not sensing, and not having the awareness to know that this was even possible.
My wife keeps saying I couldnĀt have known,
my mom says I couldnĀt have known.
Everyone IĀve confided in said I couldnĀt have known,
but that doesnĀt change my wishing I could have.
They keep saying the same thing over and overĀ
any reasonable person would understand that you couldnĀt have known.
And that may be true but while thatĀs a convenient position to take,
the truth is I didnĀt know and I wish I had.
I will go to my grave wishing someone ELSE from my team
would have been there for her that night.
My counselors will have to deal with any fallout from this letter, as they have advised against making this statement but I simply cannot let my friends and family be left to hang in the breeze like this anymore.
I also want to publicly apologize to my team.
Young men and women I love with all my heart and soul.
I wish for YOU that I could have foreseen this and made new years eve not happen.
Please know that no matter what is said about meĀ
you have been and remain the most honorable, supportive & special people I have ever knownĀ IĀm proud to have you represent my school and wear our colors.
I promise you that I will do everything in my power to clear the air so you may have free passage to attain the goals weĀve promised each other weĀd attain together.
That all being said, in answer to the questionĀ
ĀWhy have I been silent on this?Ā
To put it simply, my focus has been on my teamĀ
most of all, I have at my school a dear friend, student & team member
whoĀs had an unimaginably horrible experience and
my only desire is to care for, support and help her.
I have promised her that I will do everything in my power to avoid this happening ever again within the influence of my organization/team.
It should be clearly and simply notedĀ
I nor anyone else on my current team or staff had ANYTHING at all to do with what is reported to have happened New Years Eve.
It has been reported that a video (as of the time I am releasing this letter, I have not seen the video nor has the case been resolved) that was described in the recent court documents shows that this was a deplorable and disgraceful act committed by two individuals who acted OUTSIDE the code of honor of our team, NOT within it.
As for the accusations that I am ĀfosteringĀ some sort of environment that makes people do horrific thingsĀ
One of the accused had been with me for barely a month and the other for a total time of barely seven monthsĀ
Anyone who feels that there is some sort of subversive environment being taught and encouraged on our team should realize the level of insult and disrespect they are directing not towards me but the truly honorable athletes and human beings that make up our schoolĀ both competitors and non-competitors alike.
I want to repeat,
my singular concern and effort right now (and much of the reason why I have not spoken to date) is caring for and supporting my teammate and friend who is recovering
In addition my focus is actively engaging as many people and resources as possible to understand more about how these things happen and what if anything we can do to directly impact these situations before they ever happen.
I donĀt know much about what, how or why new years eve happenedĀ
I wish I did and I think it unwise to pressure her about all of these details
at this point as sheĀs got enough to deal with.
Certainly as the trial progresses we will all learn more.
All I can say is I feel sadness for the depraved and misguided individuals who would suggest that this is part of what we teach.
ItĀs an insult to the young women and men on my team who have never behaved in any way other than exemplary. Especially the young woman who most deserves our respect and support.
This young woman who needs my support, my teamĀs support and your support should be the ONLY thing we are talking about, thinking about & praying about right now but unfortunately as you know I have become a significant portion of this discussion for something that happened in 1989.
From this point forward I anticipate that
anything I say will be ripped apart and shredded by those who either
have an axe to grind,
arenĀt focused on prevention of violence/rape against women or
even may simply not care about the truth.
I donĀt expect ANYTHING less.
But its simply unfair to this truly remarkable woman and unfair to the rest of my supporters and team to not tell my side of this story.
The TRUE side of this story.
For those of you who hate me or who have judged meĀ
what IĀm about to say is not for you.
You have passed your judgment and
I donĀt expect to be able to undo that but
The truth is that nobody knows much of the real story of
new years eve 2012 nor the incident of 1989 at all.
This letter is simply for those who have believed in me or at the very least
reserved judgment until having more knowledge of the situation.
For those who have and continue to support me this is also so that
you know your belief in me was not and is not misplaced.
I also want to add that IĀm writing this letter as though I was writing a letter to my son.
The one person I MOST want to understand my position and gain the wisdom I didnĀt have.
What I am about to share with you IS an eyewitness account of what REALLY happened 23 years ago.
IĀm not going to give you the sugar coated version some have told me to give IĀm simply going to tell you the truth, the same truth I told 23 years ago
So for startersĀ
I was once 20 years old
I did things 20 year olds doĀ
drank too much,
partied too much,
etcĀ
Probably not unlike many 20 year olds,
I made more than my share of dumb choices.
I hadnĀt found martial arts yet.
(I was 3 when I took my first martial arts class
but I didnĀt make it the cornerstone of my life until 1996
at that time I still hadnĀt learned how to be a leader)
IĀm not saying this to excuse my choices and decisions,
as thatĀs simply not possible.
I am saying my life and my foundation was different as an uncertain 20 year old
than it is now as a father, husband and mentor at 43.
Recently some people have decided to believe things about me and
the 1989 incident that are absolutely positively untrueĀ .
and this is what IĀd like to speak to nextĀ
I cannot control what you believe nor will I try.
I can only tell the truth.
I told the truth 23 years ago
to my mother
to my father and
under oath in a court of law
and IĀm telling the truth today.
IĀm telling you the same thing I told the jury
and the truth that is STILL on record.
The facts are the facts and glossing over the fact that
I did NOT rape nor have sex with ANYONE involved in the 1989 incident
cannot and should not be brushed under the carpet.
I told the 100% unadulterated truth,
just as IĀm sharing with you right now.
I did NOT Āget off on a technicalityĀ as some want to say.
Please understandĀ
Before my trial in 1989 I was offered a plea bargain for Ālesser timeĀĀ
the prosecutors told my father point blankĀ
ĀMr. Irvin we are going to give your son
a lesser penalty if he admits
he is a rapist and if he doesnĀt
we will lock him up and put him away for a very long time.Ā
I talked to my mom and my dad.
I was a kid.
I didnĀt know what to do.
Terrified is the only word that comes close.
IĀve never seen my dad cry in my entire life not before and not sinceĀ
but I remember his breath on my face and his tears in his eyesĀ
ĀSon, are you guilty of rape?Ā
Just the words coming flatly from your fatherĀs mouth Ā
eye to eye
I still tremble today just remembering it.
I said Āno, no dad I didnĀt rape her, I didnĀt.Ā
And with that he saidĀ
Āthen you will not say you did.Ā
And so like my father taught me from the first time I could walk,
I went and told the truth and as a resultĀ .
I was not convicted. I was innocent.
ItĀs the SAME truth I am sharing with you todayĀ
It will be the same thing I will eventually tell my son.
I can only hope that you,
my BJJ and MMA brothers and sisters,
judge me based on this truth of what actually happened 23 years ago.
Not what some want to presume, guess or assume happened.
I donĀt know that this is necessary and my actions and behavior as well as the actions and behavior of ALL but two of my shortest tenured students should demonstrate thisĀ
But just in case it is necessary I want everyone reading this to know without ANY uncertainty what so everĀ
I am 100% against rape, attempted rape or any other form of violence against women. I donĀt support it, donĀt condone it and donĀt enable an environment that would ever have anything to do with it.
Part of me wants to take you point by point bit by bit over the hundreds of hours of testimony and reams of media coverage to demonstrate how little has actually been revealed to date about the night of the incident, actual testimony and the trial.
But revisiting & rehashing every detail from the case 23 years ago would be nothing but selfish on my part (especially a case whose conclusion found me innocent of all charges).
I feel doing that does nothing productive for the BJJ and MMA community I care so much about, nothing productive for the men and women of my team and most of all nothing productive for healing needed for the woman my total focus and support is on right now.
The next most common question I hear
people asking is multiple forms ofĀ ĀWhat about now?Ā
Would I do things differently?
Have I done things differently?
Would I make different choices?
Have I made different choices?
Does this alter how I counsel my son?
Has any of this effected how I counsel my team members in efforts to help them choose the right path?
Absolutely YES to all of it.
I canĀt change whatĀs happened.
I wish I was wiser then.
I have been and AM changing whatĀs happened every moment since.
Especially for these last 16 years Ā
Ā and as part of that continued changing
will be my deep and sincere
commitment to the woman who needs our support most right now
and my promise to spend
the rest of my days doing what I can to
prevent any woman from ever
experiencing anything even remotely similar.
People are often quick to say Āactions speak louder than wordsĀĀ
and in this case I have 16 years of publicly visible
actions as a martial artist, as a teacher, a coach,
a husband, a father, a mentor and an advocateĀ
and in the end while my actions donĀt ERASE the past,
those actions DO demonstrate the DIFFERENCE between
the man writing this statement and
the boy who failed to live up to the standards his mother and father set for him.
Lastly.
I have been posed with two most common questions over these last few weeks.
1) ĀWhy have I hidden this all this time?Ā
Well to be frankĀ
please ask yourself to remember the most embarrassing and frightening moment of your entire life and then ask yourself exactly where is it appropriate in EVERY relationship you engage in to bring up that moment/circumstance for the rest of your life.
My wife has known about 1989 since we first met.
My closest friends have known for years.
Even some of my enemies have known.
Nothing about this has been hidden.
Which leads to the second questionĀ
2) Why did I buy and put up the website url that I purchased and put rape prevention seminar information on it shortly after all the news broke regarding New Years Eve?
For this I can do nothing other than apologize 100%.
I was wrong.
The timing was horrible and
I completely dropped the ball.
The long and short of it was thisĀ
The reason I purchased the url was singular.
I didnĀt like the tone and tenor of things online
(but still felt I could not speak publicly about anything)
and I simply didnĀt want someone else in control of
the name my Son and I share in association with
the current or 1989 situation.
Beyond that my intention was honorable
but the execution and timing were awful
As everyone can see,
the moment I realized this,, it was taken downĀ
I have been an ADVOCATE for women for all my life in the martial arts.
The martial arts have been my entire life since 1996
when I finally grew up enough for it to stop being a hobby and
it became my lifeĀs foundation.
Anyone who knows me KNOWS this to be 100% TRUE.
And since being told about New Years Eve
my resolve and commitment to doing MORE than I EVER have before
in this area of womenĀs advocacy against violence has grown RADICALLY.
Bottom line is I am 100% guilty of poor timing and taste
when it comes to the url and what was posted.
I spoke to the woman involved new years eve
about this and told her my sincere intentionsĀ
I vow to absolutely make rape & violence against women prevention an
even more major cornerstone of my future efforts.
Understand that my rape-prevention program has ALWAYS been completely free,
its not a marketing gimmick as some accusers have said.
I didnĀt realize it was possible but
I promise you that my sensitivity to rape & violence against women prevention
has now been made stronger than ever before.
If there is any good that can come of all of this
itĀs the fact that we are all talking more about rape & violence prevention against women, EDUCATION OF MEN and how to create environments and relationships that keep violence from being used off the mat.
If you believe what IĀve shared here,
I thank you for your support and I apologize for taking so long to speak out.
If you donĀt believe me,
all I ask is that you spare my wife, my mom, my dad and my son any venom you have towards me.
In closing,
I want to directly and specifically speak to my brothers and sisters in the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu community. I am sorry, truly sorry for the shadow this casts over our great art, sport and lifestyle that we lead.
Many people have their opinions and say what they will about my team and my school and my approach to things.
But one thing nobody can say is that I donĀt have a deep passion and commitment to and for our art, sport and our community.
And its with that passion and commitment that I promise every one of you with all my heart and soul that while I would not and did not commit nor encourage nor enable anything that would ever hurt, harm or violate one of my own friends and team members.
I will move heaven and earth to understand what happened and why it happened. And should I discover ANYTHING that can be done to prevent new years eve from happening ever again I promise with the tenacity and commitment I have become known for, I will make any and all necessary changes.
I will spend every waking moment finding ways to make sure everyday from this day forward Team Lloyd Irvin brings enough light back to our community to drown out the darkness of these last few weeks.
On this you have my word.
Lastly, If you really want to know what MY philosophy about my team, my school, my responsibilities as a martial arts instructor and the martial arts REALLY isĀ
If you want to know whatĀs happening
to Āthe water and the fish in the bowlĀĀ
watch this videoĀ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTxAjN1XSso&feature=youtu.be
I AGREE 100% with their thoughts on what I face and every instructor faces going forward when it comes to what we want for our students and what our responsibilities are to our students, our art, our sport and our community.
During the video at 28:26 he says
Āthis has to be a wake up callĀĀ
heĀs rightĀ it doesĀ and it isĀ
and I promise you
I will make things better for us all or die trying.
My sincere thanks to both of these men for making this video
and the honor they bring to our BJJ family.
I sincerely thank you for your time and your attention,
Lloyd Irvin Jr.
ballen0351
Sr. Grandmaster
Wow that was long it didn't look that long formatted differently.
Agreed! And given the close proximity that you have to be in with that art, I have to wonder how many other times those a-holes tried to get a quick 'feel' while they were rolling with her.
Agreed!!!
OP
OP
Steve
Mostly Harmless
I think that the official response was very short on real contrition and long on CYA. It was also somewhat self serving, as it points to various videos he made and also highlights his own programs. The guy is a marketing genius, but a lot of this is tied to money. Gracie Magazine and Luca Atalla have dismissed any criticism of LLoyd Irvin over this as "reputation murder." It's inexcusable.
http://lucaatalla.com/2013/01/how-the-reputation-murder-works/
http://lucaatalla.com/2013/01/how-the-reputation-murder-works/
blindsage
Master of Arts
I've walked away from a number of schools, including a BJJ school, because of an overly "macho" culture and approach to to teaching. I think there are a number of factors that can contribute to bad behavior in that type of environment and that it has a tendency to attract those who are more likely to engage in bad behavior, especially ones that would harm others. I don't really care how talented an instructor is, or how amazing the quality of students are, if the personality of that teacher and the culture of the school aren't what I consider "good" then I'm not interested in training with them. There are plenty of quality instructors around to not have to settle.
celtic_crippler
Senior Master
Regardless of art or system, every shcool should have a code of ethics that is reinforced in every class. The skills taught are dangerous and can be used to harm others, without some sort of "code" attached to them we're creating monsters.
And we can ensure scum like the ones in this particular instance never do harm again by castrating them with a brick.
And we can ensure scum like the ones in this particular instance never do harm again by castrating them with a brick.
I wonder if we'll see a Fightworks Podcast on this subject?
chinto
Senior Master
which version of Bushido do you mean? the one from the warring states period or the later versions? there were several versions including the bastardized version in the 20th century...
Personally my code is more a combination of Medieval European, 19th century US and perhaps a bit of the Japanese.
