Please put your hand back

[tshadowchaser]

Seeing as we have mentioned the dojo and martial arts I said before I used to not shake hands but I must say with those I have know in the arts for a while I will bow then embrace them. They are my brothers and sisters and I treat them differently than the public

 

[jezr74]

In a threatening situation, and someone off the street. Sure, no shake required if not wanted.

But at work, and in sanctioned social instances. I'd shakes hands with no issue, and would be offended and honestly judgmental of anyone refusing my hand in this situation without an excuse or apology. I do a lot of interviews, and if they started off not taking my hand at the start (without good reason, even if they are germaphobe or have a cold that's fine, just state it). Otherwise they are definitely on the wrong foot already, and would have to make up for it during the interview phase to improve that first impression.

And likewise, if I was to reject a hand, I'm either trying to be insulting. Or they are not worthy of my hand... it's the same psychology, and defers some form of arrogance like it or not.

 

[Marnetmar]

Why don't you freaks chase them around with a steel dildo like CIVILIZED people?

I'm judging all of you disrespectful freaks.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Why don't you freaks chase them around with a steel dildo like CIVILIZED people?

I'm judging all of you disrespectful freaks.

That is my plan B.

 

[jezr74]

If somebody gets to a door first and they hold it and expect me to go through it first I don't like that. There was this one time when I was even about twenty feet away from a door and this guy is holding it, waiting for me to go through it, even though I was that far away. If a person gets to a door first they should go through it first.

Yeah, I can get that. It's a just a weird nuance to me. But I have to agree, I've misjudged the speed and distance at which someone is walking behind me and kept the door open... then it gets awkward. But I actually say sorry to them for making them run. (Which they do generally to be polite and an attempt not to make me feel uncomfortable) It's a funny, awkward social situation, gotta laugh sometimes. Other times yeah can be annoying too, but done as a gesture of good will.

I don't like having my back to people and when I go through a door first the person who is holding it is at my back when I go through. So if somebody gets to a door first they should go through it first, if they stand there holding the door, they're holding me up.

Is this a defensive thing? Most doors that are used by many are hard not to have your back to someone. Is this only in a threatening situation? if I felt uneasy, I'd insist the person go though first, but would be very rare.

Even some women today will get offended by that.

It's definitely not an offensive act, and for someone to think so is there problem I'd say. If you were slapped on the butt as walking through then yeah the boundary crossed. But chivalry should not be shot down because there is a decay in social etiquette in my opinion.

 

[jezr74]

Oh, like this?

 

[mook jong man]

That's not a hand shake.

This is a bloody hand shake.

[video=youtube_share;ywcrcIpNiGU]http://youtu.be/ywcrcIpNiGU[/video]

 

[donnaTKD]

Oh, like this?

yup just like that

 

[jezr74]

That's not a hand shake.

This is a bloody hand shake.

[video=youtube_share;ywcrcIpNiGU]http://youtu.be/ywcrcIpNiGU[/video]

kinda hypnotic how it keeps going on.

 

[PhotonGuy]

If you don't want to accept a handshake, I suggest you just say something like "sorry, I've got a thing about touching/handshakes." The other person may think you're a little weird, but it's better than being outright rude, which is how your "please put your hand back" line will come across.

At least with, "please put your hand back," Im using the magic word, please. So Im asking nicely.

 

[PhotonGuy]

you'd just get properly shut out or decked for refusing a handshake where i come from it's bad manners and impolite it's also taken as a total lack of respect for the person as a another person....

just saying you might want to watch the reactions of the other person when you do it.

Where do you come from? In most places you will get thrown in jail for decking somebody.

 

[drop bear]

Where do you come from? In most places you will get thrown in jail for decking somebody.

Not here. Unless you kill them.

Fine at the worst.

 

[PhotonGuy]

I like the second one but the third sounds more painful

I'm not sure if a hand shake is more or less special than a bow. In any martial arts I've been involved with always uses bows but outside the dojo in my opinion a hand shake can be equal to a bow depending where you are at. I remember something about this in public speaking class using a good firm handshake was good for business and formal (something like that)

With a bow you aren't touching, so its different.

 

[PhotonGuy]

i thought that he was just having a crack at people that shake hands but hell he's taken it to a whole new level he needs to either back track and apologise in full for his comments or the moderators need to get involved.

Its Dirty Dog whose taken it to a whole new level. That's his take on me.

 

[PhotonGuy]

Not here. Unless you kill them.

And where is here?

 

[drop bear]

And where is here?

Far north qld.

 

[PhotonGuy]

Far north qld.

I see. So over there you can assault people?

 

[drop bear]

I see. So over there you can assault people?

It defiantly does happen. Normally you get a public order offence if anyone can be bothered doing you for it. But if you coped a smack in the head for being rude. You would find nobody cares very much.

 

[PhotonGuy]

It defiantly does happen. Normally you get a public order offence if anyone can be bothered doing you for it. But if you coped a smack in the head for being rude. You would find nobody cares very much.

So this is why Australia has a low crime rate, because stuff over there is allowed which would be a crime in most other places.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

At least with, "please put your hand back," Im using the magic word, please. So Im asking nicely.

It's possible to be rude while saying "please". Imagine if I asked you to "please go f**K yourself."

In our culture, the standard implied meaning of a handshake is "I am indicating my goodwill/respect for you." (With additional nuances indicated by context.) The standard implied meaning of refusing to shake an offered hand is "I dislike you and/or lack respect for you to the extent that I will violate social norms in order to communicate my dislike/lack of respect." If you wish to avoid communicating this message of disliking/disrespecting the other person, then you need to offer some alternative explanation for your behavior. You can say "sorry, no disrespect but I have a phobia about physical contact." You can make up an excuse: "sorry, I'm getting over a nasty bug and I don't want to pass it on to you." The problem with "please put your hand back" is that it implies the other person has done something offensive by offering a normal gesture of goodwill.